Monthly Archives: April 2021

The friend leaves the nest

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Tonight is our last night with my friend staying with us, as she’s officially moving into her new place tomorrow. Today marks exactly four weeks since she started staying with us in an effort to separate from her partner, and while it’s definitely been a bit more crowded and dusty with three adults in this 1-bedroom apartment, it’s been really enjoyable. I have loved having her here with us, not only for extra company and socializing, but also for emotional support for me going through this crazy emotional embryo transfer process. Chris remarked that she arrived as a wreck and a shell of herself, but she’s left rejuvenated and fresh. She’s been adaptable in our routines, from watching food on TV while eating food, our “morning dinners” and “evening dinners” as Chris calls them, our random assortment of food on a plate ranging from Indian to Chinese to Thai and Yemeni and pesto pasta, and even our endless marital banter. It’s been comforting to have her hugs and embraces when I’ve felt anxious and uncertain. And I’ve also enjoyed being there for her to ensure she feels supported through this current life transition she’s going through. We’ve been friends now for over 24 years, and though I’ve always known she’s an amazing, warm, loving, affectionate person, I’ve never felt it as much or as immediately as I have than over the last four weeks.

In preparation for her departure, not only did she stock our fridge and pantry with all kinds of fresh food, produce, and snacks, but she even added pregnancy-symptom aiding items like ginger shots, fresh ginger, tamarind, and zinc. Sometimes, I’m in awe of how thoughtful she is. It really goes beyond me.

Well, she’s leaving the nest tomorrow. I will miss seeing her and getting her daily hugs, but it’s time for her to do her own thing. And it’s also time for me to survive without her here every day. I think I can handle it. One deep breath at a time.

Heartburn and endless pee; early pregnancy symptoms continue

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Last night, I had to wake up three times to pee. I really have no idea where all this liquid is coming from. In some way, I am happy to be experiencing some pregnancy symptoms to “show” the fact that I am pregnant, but in other ways, this is just plainly annoying. Throughout the day in tiny spurts, I occasionally have had a burning sensation in my chest, which is also supposed to be a normal symptom now. During your first trimester while pregnant, your uterus, literally every single minute of every single day, is gradually expanding, which is why I can feel a slight tension/pressure on my lower abdomen most of the day. It’s expanding to make room for your growing embryo, which will hopefully grow into a fetus. And as your uterus expands, it’s putting more pressure on your bladder, resulting in your wanting and needing to pee more often. In addition to that, more blood is circulating through your body to make room and space for your growing embryo, and your kidneys are also becoming more efficient at releasing waste, including your pee, so this also makes you need to go to the bathroom more.

I never thought much before about how complex the female body is when it comes to reproduction, but reading whattoexpect.com and What to Expect When You’re Expecting with all the diagrams and explanations has really given me newfound appreciation and amazement at the female body and all we’re capable of doing. I thought, wow, I don’t even need to give it an instruction manual? The body just does it because it just... knows? How crazy!!

Filming after a long hiatus

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I haven’t filmed a cooking video in what feels like forever. Most of the videos I’ve been working on and uploading to YouTube have been around recommended eats across New York City over the last couple of months. So today, I finally filmed another video on Instant Pot pho ga or chicken pho. It’s a pretty quick and easy recipe, and I got a lot of requests for a full video on it when I posted my process on Instagram, so I did what you’re supposed to do: give the people what they want!

As we sat down for dinner this evening, Chris commented about how, assuming everything goes well, he may need to start buying me maternity-sized Yvonne meets Food shirts for filming. I didn’t even think about that. I feel like all I’ve been thinking about is how to survive the first trimester without worrying too much and also enjoying the fact that I am pregnant… at least in this moment, since we have no idea what tomorrow will bring.

Filming while visibly pregnant, I thought to myself. Who would have ever thought we’d get this far to actually be able to think about this?

City Island and the Bronx day trip

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Today, we went out to City Island, which is an island that is technically part of the Bronx. It’s actually a pretty strange experience to be in a small, idyllic “island” that has endless seafood offerings when you are still actually in New York City because it’s not something anyone would expect. As soon as we drove onto the island, endless seafood restaurants abounded. Some screamed signs for crab and fish, others for lobster and shrimp, and many for all the above. We went to a spot called Crab Shanty that’s supposed to offer really great deals on seafood. And they certainly delivered on this reputation: with our lunch specials of a whole lobster plus two small soft-shelled Maryland crabs, we had salad, soup (clam chowder!), fries, cake (carrot and chocolate – two types!), and tea and coffee. We left with our bellies stuffed with seafood and more.

Afterwards, we drove to the Bronx and took a long walk along Orchard Beach, which is considered the “Riviera of the Bronx.” The beach sits on the Long Island Sound and on a clear day, you can see City Island from here. This really did not feel like the Bronx or New York City at all. It felt more like we were quite far from New York City.

We ended the day in Little Yemen in The Bronx and picked up some spinach and meat bureks from a small Yemenese spot there. It was a delicious day trip.

The husband delivers matzo ball soup while I am peeing everywhere

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It was Chris’s day off today, so I asked him to go out and pick me up some matzo ball soup. He is not a fan of it and thinks it is bland, boring, and a waste of space, but when he came back, he did deliver: I had a family-size container of matzo ball soup all to myself. I salivated a little while looking at the bag. They say that another pregnancy symptom is when you drool more often than usual. I guess I fit the bill.

One additional annoying pregnancy symptom I’ve been having since late last week is that I cannot sleep through the night without having to get up to pee. I’ve had to get up once or twice every night to pee, and I have no idea where all this liquid is coming from. I don’t even drink that much before bed, yet somehow I have enough urine stored up in me for two long pee sessions in the wee hours of the night! And this is supposedly just the beginning; once I start getting bigger, my uterus is supposed to put pressure on my bladder, which will cause me to pee even more often than I already am. Chris makes fun of me and says that pregnant or not pregnant, I pee like a fountain anyway, so what’s the difference?

I also had my first bout of dizziness and nausea at the same time today. I was about to go into back to back Zoom meetings, and I felt like throwing up, but I had nothing to vomit up. I went to lie down for about 15 minutes before my next call and continued to sip hot water. And once the meetings were over, I went to boil some ginger since ginger/ginger tea is supposed to help with nausea. I was lucky in that it was temporary; it didn’t last longer than two hours.

Even though these symptoms are all annoying, I feel grateful to be pregnant. In a weird way, I feel grateful to have all these symptoms to “show” I am pregnant. Every morning I wake up, and I cannot believe I am actually pregnant. I’ve been waiting for almost two years to get a positive pregnancy test or to have someone exclaim, “You’re pregnant!” and it’s finally here. I hope I can continue to be cautiously optimistic and that my body will take care of the growing embryo inside of me. I’m trying to be as hopeful as possible.

First cravings

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I spent most of today thinking about crusty bread, matzo ball soup, and egg salad. I ended up picking up two types of focaccia plus a round whole wheat seeded loaf at Eataly since I passed it going between my two doctor appointments today. But I could not locate a matzo ball soup place easily. And with egg salad, well, most places’ egg salads are pretty sad, so I’m planning on making some this weekend. I had my EMG test today downtown, which is the test that sees what nerve issues I have and how severe my cubital tunnel is. It was not fun at all; not only was the doctor late by nearly half an hour, but he was a socially awkward, very strange man. It was like something out of a movie where I was lying down on an examination table with all these things plugged into my arms, hands, and fingers, getting shocked and zapped. The last part was the real kicker: he actually stuck needles into my hand and thumbs to see how sensitive I was. I now have a bruise on my left hand from where the needle was stuck. The verdict was in: the good news is that I do not have any nerve damage. The bad news is I definitely have mild cubital tunnel, more mild on the left side than on the right. I have extremely mild carpal tunnel on my left side, with less mild carpal tunnel on the right. And what do I need to do? Everything I have been doing (I give much credit to my vertical mouse for saving me), plus he prescribed some ointment he didn’t bother describing in depth and sent it directly to my pharmacy. This neurologist was a true peach if you couldn’t already tell.

I came home and shared the focaccia with Chris, but even after finishing it, it didn’t seem to be enough. I still kept thinking about the chickeny goodness of matzo ball soup and the creamy richness of egg salad. I’m definitely having both of them this weekend. I deserve to eat what I want.

Third beta appointment and first obstetrical ultrasound

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My friend was so excited at the idea of my first obstetrical ultrasound that she insisted she accompany me to my third appointment since the transfer. I didn’t mind; I was happy to have the emotional support, and well, as per usual, in the back of my mind, I keep wondering if something would go awry. This is my “cautious optimism” at play now. As per usual, I had my blood drawn and then waited to be called in for the ultrasound. When my name was called, I asked the clinical assistant if my friend could come in, too, and so to accommodate us, she switched the exam room to one that was a little more comfortable for three people. Upon entering the exam room, I was unfortunately told that I was still having a trans-vaginal ultrasound, meaning, I’d still have to have a freaking wand stuck up my vagina yet again. Well, if this is the normal procedure, then I guess I will just go ahead with it, I said to the clinical assistant. She gave me a sympathetic glance and left the room for me to undress waist down.

My favorite sonographer came in shortly after, and we had some small talk before she started the ultrasound. She immediately identified the gestational sac and even printed some photos for us. Then when she zoomed in, not only did we see what was the beginning of the yolk sac, but…. she paused. “Yvonne, can you see that second circle?” the sonographer said. “Did you say you transferred one embryo? Because this could either be a second gestational sac or excess fluid, which is totally normal.”

I nearly burned a hole into the ultrasound screen staring into it; THERE COULD BE TWO GESTATIONAL SACS?? MY ONE PRECIOUS EMBRYO COULD HAVE SPLIT???????

My friend and I started squealing and saying over and over, “Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!!!!!” The sonographer told us she’d share these photos with the doctor to get his thoughts, but told us that he would likely agree with her in that it’s still a bit premature to know whether it’s really two sacs or not. We would find out for sure either next week or the week after, so week 6 or 7. And we’d definitely know by week 8. During week 8, a heart beat can usually be detected if all is going well, and if there are two heart beats, well….. there you go: IDENTICAL TWINS.

My mom is a twin. Unfortunately, her twin died just days after being born (this was rural Vietnam in the 1950s). I will never know if she’s an identical or fraternal twin, though. My mom has always told me that there could be a chance I’d have twins because twins run in our family on her side. If we were having twins, I know she’d absolutely be ecstatic and just go nuts.

For the HCG level stats we’re tracking to ensure the pregnancy is going well:

9 Days Post Transfer: 45.91

11 Days Post Transfer: 127

16 Days Post Transfer: 1,695

Thank whatever and all higher powers that exist. I’m counting my blessings so far. I’m still nervous and scared, but I have more hope and excitement now. My baby (babies) is (are) coming to me. My baby is coming to me.

Bloating with no release

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Bloating is a funny thing. Most people associate it with eating certain foods. But for me, I’ve never really gotten it from the “usual suspects” of fried foods, dairy, or gluten. Sometimes I get it post ovulation. Other times, I’ve gotten it as an indicator that my period is about to come. In the last day, though, it just feels like excess air being stored in my lower abdomen. I keep wanting to burp or fart, yet I cannot because nothing seems to come out.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to pee, and when I went back to bed, even though I felt exhausted, I could not fall back asleep because of the amount of bloat. I kept trying to release it. I drank more water. Nothing seemed to help. It lasted for over an hour, and finally I was able to release it both ways and felt relieved. And then, I went back to sleep.

Well, pregnancy symptoms… Bring it on. I can handle it.

Fatigue sets in

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Halfway through this afternoon while working, not only did my breasts feel super sore, but I started feeling really exhausted. My body just felt tired. These are supposed to be part of the collection of the many early pregnancy symptoms. The dull pressure and heat was still lingering in my hips, but now I just felt tired overall. So I spent the evening reading a little, lying down, and resting my eyes. I also did a bit more pregnancy yoga and my usual nightly meditation, which has been helpful in calming my nerves.

“Listen to your body and ramp up slowly,” all the pregnancy guides always say when it comes to activity, exercise, doing anything while pregnant. They say you should be doing exercise that “energizes you instead of exhausts you.” So in other words, you probably shouldn’t be doing 500 burpees nonstop or all your usual HIIT routines. A lot of really conservative sites and “professionals” will say not to do any exercise outside of brisk walking and light stretching. But that definitely does not make sense at all for someone who previously was very active and exercised all the time (that’s ME!). While I haven’t felt totally comfortable going back to running just yet, I have been ramping up my exercise again. If we get to week 6, which is when we should be able to detect a fetal heartbeat, maybe then I’ll feel comfortable running again. I’m just taking it all day by day, including exercise ramp up.

Hips on fire

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The pregnancy symptoms began as dull soreness or pressure around my hips and lower back. They started last Monday evening while I was editing a video on my computer. The hip soreness has gradually become a warm, almost fire-like sensation around my hips, lower abdomen, and lower back. While chatting with my friend on my couch for what felt like an hours-long conversation while Chris passed out in our bedroom from his first COVID-19 vaccine dose, I definitely felt like my hips were on fire. It is probably one of the strangest and most unique feelings I’ve ever had.

So far, I haven’t really felt any other symptoms yet. I have not yet experienced nausea or sensitivity to different foods or smells. I can feel that my breasts have become a bit more sensitive in the last day. This whole experience is teaching me new ways that my body reacts and changes. It’s kind of amazing when you think about all that the female body is capable of, particularly when it comes to monthly menstrual cycles and reproduction.

When I went in for my second beta test on Friday, I was so thrilled to find out that my HCG levels didn’t just double; they nearly tripled! So the clinic felt comfortable not having me come back in two days, and instead they told me that they’d like me to come back on Wednesday morning to measure my HCG and progesterone levels, plus for my first obstetrical ultrasound in order to identify a gestational sac.

I was not prepared to hear that: I am just DAYS AWAY from my first OB ultrasound? I could not believe it. I really hope it will be good news again.