Cost of eating out in New York City – at least $30 for a basic meal

A friend and I went out to lunch today at a Korean soup spot that I’ve been wanting to try for a few months near Koreatown in Manhattan. It had been getting quite a bit of buzz, as it originally started as a pop-up from Korea, and also because it literally has just two things on the menu: dweji gumtang, which is a pork bone broth rice soup, and kimchi mandoo stuffed with kimchi, pork, and tofu. The gumtang is the main dish; the mandoo is simply an appetizer. There are a few non-alcoholic drinks you can order, as well, and that’s it. The entire restaurant is counter seating around the open kitchen where all the two servers are doing is serving you those two dishes. For two bowls of gumtang and one order of mandoo, with tax and tip, it cost just over $60 for two of us for lunch.

Yesterday, Chris, Pookster, and I had lunch at a nearby dumpling/noodle spot with my cousin and his wife, who were in town for a work conference. We didn’t order anything fancy at all: two orders of dumplings, two orders of noodles, one order of stir-fried rice cakes, one order of dry-fried string beans, and one beef/scallion roll wrap. The total bill, including tax and a 20% added gratuity because we were a party of five or more (yes, toddlers count as a full head), was $170. For four adults and one toddler (I’d like to call her half a person :), that’s $37.77/head. That’s a LOT of money to spend on a casual lunch!

My colleague, who lives in New Jersey, told me that when he and his wife met with friends in the city for dinner the other night, though they each only had one cocktail/glass of wine, their bill was over $200/person. I told him that it didn’t surprise me at all given the cost of eating out now. $30-40/person for lunch seems normal. So why would $200/person for dinner be unheard of? I’m sure their cocktails cost at least $18-24, while their wine was similarly priced, which would then mean their food would probably cost even more. This is the “new normal” cost range when it comes to eating out now, even for seemingly basic food like pork broth soup.

Stranger friends who tease, but never commit

I have a friend who lives in New York City who I haven’t seen in almost two years, come next month. She got fired from her job early in 2022 unexpectedly, and since it happened, I have only seen her twice. In April 2022, I took her out for lunch to celebrated her belated birthday. That was the last time I’ve seen her. In June 2022, we were scheduled to catch up over tea at a local cafe, and she declined just three hours before, saying she couldn’t make it — no reason, even after I asked a few times after if she was okay. I checked in with her over text and phone several times that year, but she would always give cryptic responses and never commit to seeing me. Last year, I just let it go; if she wanted to see me, she could reach out whenever she wanted. I eventually found out she got a new phone number, deleted her Facebook account, and was “starting over.” She messaged me on her new number to save her new number and said “let’s catch up soon,” but never committed to a date. She said she started a new job, and in November of last year, she asked to see the opera together. When I suggested a date/time, she said she couldn’t go anymore because she lost her job. Then, she kept saying we would catch up soon, but no dates suggested.

I was so confused. What was going on?

I made multiple efforts over the last month to see her, yet again, she still wouldn’t commit. So I messaged her to let her know that I care about her and have worried about her, but if she kept refusing to commit to see me, it would drive me away, and I would actually stay away and not contact her again. I’m 38 years old. I’ve experienced a decent amount of trauma in my life and unjust experiences. I do not need excess baggage in my life, and I definitely do not need anyone in my life who doesn’t want to be in it. She said she appreciated my directness, but it wasn’t about me.

That’s fine. If it has nothing to do with me, then let it be. Or I’ll just stop responding. There’s only so much bullshit that one can take to continue to be a sane, productive, relatively happy person.

Sourdough rye bread, amongst other edibles, from the Buy-Nothing group

I’ve gone through surges of giving stuff away on my local Buy-Nothing group. As of late, I’ve given away a decent-sized bundle of work clothes (pants and tops), skirts and dresses that I know I will never wear again, in addition to a bunch of clothes Kaia has outgrown and random household items we no longer need (shoe rack and random knick knacks).The biggest thing that I have given away, though, is a brand-new, still vacuum-sealed, life-sized (55-inch tall!) teddy bear that was gifted to Kaia right before she was born. I thought we’d keep it and wait until she got older to appreciate it… but now that we’re at that stage, I just don’t think it works here with all the other stuff we have in every room. We just don’t have the space for a furry friend that is that large. I felt kind of bad giving it away and not letting Kaia see it outside of its wrap, but I would have no idea where to put it in our place.

It feels really good to declutter and gain space back. But amongst the recent things I have gained from the Buy-Nothing group include toddler-training knives for chopping (so excited for these, as I had them on my Amazon wish list for Kaia, and now I don’t have to buy them!), new, never opened seaweed, a brand new packet of mushroom matcha (I mean, why not, since I’m getting back into making matcha at home now…?), plus an almost full-loaf of Balthazar sourdough rye bread. Someone in the group took a slice of it, decided she didn’t like it, and wanted to give it away and not waste it. I went to pick it up this morning and told Chris I got this.

“What if there is poison in it?” Chris asked, facetiously yet skeptically.

I suggested that I could give the name of the person from the BN group to our handyman before we each had a slice in case we all died from this. I definitely have my limits in regards to what I will take in the BN group, but a nearly full-loaf of high quality bread is not on the X List.

When (dog) poop overtakes New York City

People in every city love to complain. In New York when locals complain, it’s usually about rats, garbage, the current incompetent mayor, or the insanely high cost of living here (especially in Manhattan). But you know what is even more frustrating than all of those things for me on a day to day basis where it feels like I cannot even go half a block without thinking about it? DOG POOP.

The other day when I was going to pick up Kaia from daycare, the entire sidewalk from building to street was lined with poop that had been smeared by someone — just steps away from the school entrance. It likely could have been that a dog pooped in the middle of the sidewalk, and then random passersby who didn’t notice unknowingly stepped and dragged it everywhere. Getting around it with the stroller on the way home was a challenge: I almost had to push the stroller into the street to avoid the dog poop.

Today during a late afternoon walk, some dog owner left their poop bag, filled with poop, in the middle of the street. The poop gushed out of the bag and everywhere. Many people stepped on it, and the same thing happened as in the above situation: the poop was all over the sidewalk, still soft and smeared everywhere!

It’s impossible to take a leisurely walk on any sidewalk in this city without constantly looking ahead and down on the ground to ensure that I (or the stroller) can avoid stepping in poop at all costs. It’s also frustrating when I am walking with Kaia, and she doesn’t understand what dog poop is and has this (sort of disgusting) curiosity for it: the other day at Riverside Park, she almost shoved her hands into a pile of dog poop! Dog owners can’t control their dogs. They just think they can be careless with their dog’s feces and let everyone else suffer. When and where will the constant presence of dog poop in this city ever end? Or, will it simply takeover New York and drive people like me and Chris (who believes all dogs should be exterminated or eaten) away?

Trendy eats in Koreatown and how I cannot relate – it must be my age!

So, I’m 38 years old now. Some people say age is nothing more than a number. Most people who meet or see me for the first time would be unlikely to guess my age and usually say a number that is far younger than what I am. But what getting older has made me realize is that my tastes are definitely changing, and the things that may have sparked my interest at age 18 or 28 are oftentimes not going to get me excited at my current age now.

Here’s a case in point: this new Korean “food court” recently opened on the corner of W 32nd Street and Broadway, right across the street from the main Manhattan Koreantown drag. Publications like Eater call it a “food court,” one that is getting a lot of hype right now. It’s been reported that it is attracting lines going down the block. Yet when I walked in, it was NOT what I’d call a food court at all. There was one main stand in the front that had a number of ready-made Korean foods (all the ones you’d guess: bulgogi, japchae, kimchi fried rice, etc.), a second that did coffee drinks, a third that made a trendy Korean “coin” cake that is either filled with nutella or corn cheese. When you go to the second floor, there’s only one stand: you order and pay for your choice of a packaged Korean ramen type, then you go to a number of water machines and add boiling water to a bowl, where you’ll “cook” the ramen.

This is not a food court in any sense of that meaning. This is a hangout spot for cheap, low quality food for tweens and teens. I am never getting food from here, ever.

No laptops in cafes = my heaven

The biggest complaint I have about cafes in New York City is that for the most part, they are overrun by people on laptops and tablets. Everyone wants a trendy, fun place to sit, use free Wi-Fi, and work. So they go to cafes all over the city, squat at their tables and counters for hours on end, and hog up prime real estate that friends who wish to catch up in a casual environment would like to use — and are unable to use. I have lost count of the number of times I have tried going into a cafe, whether it was to catch up with friends or colleagues, or even to do college alumnae interviews, and I was not able to get a table/seat because of all these laptop users. It completely incenses me. Cafes are supposed to be for a) drinking coffee/tea and small bites, and b) SOCIALIZING.

So when I was pushing Kaia in her stroller around the Upper West Side this early afternoon, I was elated to see that a cafe that had ample seating (and space for the stroller) had a big sign in the front that said: “No laptops on weekends.” No wonder I saw no one with a laptop in there. This was my kind of place! I was too happy to give this place business. And Kaia stayed napping until I at least had my second sip of coffee. It was a good day, and a good find.

Tribeca: the most overrated neighborhood in all of Manhattan

It was a very grey, cold, rainy day today, so we didn’t go too far, just down to Tribeca for some quick eats before heading home. But as soon as we got off the train and started walking around the neighborhood, I was reminded once again of why I couldn’t stand Tribeca: It’s one of the most pretentious, least diverse parts of all of New York City. The only restaurants worth going to in this area are for fancy tasting menu dinners, and even those that are worth going to in this area are dwindling. Pretty much everyone casually walking around and eating overpriced food is White. People who look like Chris and me contribute heavily to the diversity in this neighborhood. Every decent-looking cafe or restaurant is overcrowded and has a wait. Even in this sad weather, people were sitting outside in the cold, pretending to enjoy themselves with their friends, just because they were giving business to a trendy take-out eatery. This take-out eatery had absolutely no indoor seating, only outdoor (uncovered) seating. Almost all the food was ready made. So when I ordered a sandwich, it was already sitting there on the counter, much to my chagrin; it was NOT being made to order. The cashier just went over to pick it up and hand it over to me as he took my payment. The sandwich was cold. It was sad. Who the heck knows how long it had been sitting there getting soggy? And given it wasn’t made-to-order, it was overpriced and felt like an overpriced, over-hyped version of Pret a Manger or Le Pain Quotidien. Why, just why?

Also, with such proximity to Chinatown from Tribeca, why would I ever go to Tribeca over Chinatown…?!

Mandarin Chinese private immersion school right in our neighborhood

This morning, we attended a private school program orientation for 2s through 8th grade in our neighborhood. The biggest selling point of this school is that it’s a full immersion program for either Mandarin Chinese or Spanish. I had passed it multiple times during weekend walks in the neighborhood, attempting to get Kaia to fall asleep in her stroller, and so today they hosted an open house. It really was a real school “open house” in the sense that not only did the principal and multiple staff members present and participate, but they even had guest parents (who participate in the parent association) and guest students speak about why their program was so special. And yes, they even had refreshments. The orientation in the gym was about an hour long, and after it concluded, we were whisked onto a 30-minute school tour, one for Spanish immersion, and one for Mandarin immersion. 

It was hard not to be impressed with the school after all the other daycare/school tours we have done, but it felt unfair to compare given the others I had attended were fully just daycares or public schools. The presentations were very comprehensive and well put together. The biggest differentiator with this immersion program is that up to age 3, the kids are 100 percent immersed in Mandarin/Spanish; from ages 3-5, they have instruction in Mandarin/Spanish 90 percent of the time, and it starts going down to 80 percent and then 70 percent in subsequent years as they get into higher elementary/middle school years. No pinyin is taught until second grade for Mandarin, since pinyin is obviously not used for native speakers – I was pretty (pleasantly) surprised to learn this during the tour. It’s mainly introduced to allow the students to use Chromebooks to type Chinese (using pinyin to indicate which characters you want to use). Both Chinese/English are on the walls, so it’s not just spoken that’s constantly reinforced like in the immersion school we saw in Chinatown, but it’s also the written that is emphasized everywhere. From a language enrichment/immersion standpoint, I’d never heard of any program that quite “immersed” children into the “target language” like this. And well, as they said during their presentation, theirs was the only program in the city (if not the country) that approaches language learning in this way. 

And, as you would imagine, the tuition is NOT cheap. The annual tuition is only for the school year, so from September through June. For summer programs, this, of course, would be extra (and would only go until 3pm; if you want “after care,” you will also need to pay for that… because you have to pay… for everything). Well, if you want nice things… 

Kaia’s first real play date outside of daycare

Yesterday, the three of us met Kaia’s bestie from her class named Jacob and his parents (and their newborn in a sling) and took a trip to the Central Park Zoo together. Jacob’s dad had reached out to Chris, as they usually dropped off the kids together in the morning and had become friendly. We all knew that Kaia and Jacob got along really well and could be seen frequently holding hands and running around class and the multi-purpose room together. While we enjoyed our catch up and seeing the animals together, it was actually a little bittersweet: though the two were close, it seems like a lot of these things have to come to an end, as Jacob and his family would soon be relocating to New Jersey. His parents are under contract with a new house, and with their expanding family, they will need more space. Plus, they’ll also be closer to both sides of their families.

I remember being in pre-school and elementary school and always being sad when a friend moved away and left. You inevitably knew you were never going to see each other again. But I wonder if that even resonates with Kaia and Jacob at their ages. Or who knows: maybe we as parents may loosely keep in touch, and maybe there might actually be future play dates after they move. Only time will tell.

Lunar New Year Day 2024 in Flushing

The three of us went to Flushing on Saturday, which marked Lunar New Year Day 2024, or year of the dragon. When we got off the train and up to the street level, it was in the middle of a huge Lunar New Year parade, complete with fire crackers and endless music and manual fire crackers being set off. We ended up going to Jiang Nan for our main meal, where we enjoyed a fancy Peking duck with beautiful and delicate house-made pancakes, as well as an accompanying duck, tofu, and vegetable soup made with the bones of our duck. It was likely one of the most delicious and rich broths we’d ever tasted. Even Pookster gobbled up this soup and kept asking for seconds and thirds. She even gnawed the meat off of several duck leg bones.

What was also notable about our visit to Flushing was that we stumbled upon a very discreet and easy-to-overlook Taiwanese bakery. I poked my head in to see what was there, and unfortunately, a lot of seemingly popular items had already sold out since it was mid-afternoon. But I did pick up a loaf of white bread, a Taiwanese-style taro bao (it doesn’t look like the ones I usually get!), and two Taiwanese style pineapple cakes. All of the things we got were incredible: the taro bao was extremely crunchy with just the right amount of sweetness on the outside. The taro filling was light and also not too sweet, but very creamy. And the pineapple cakes were a stunner: super flaky and buttery on the outside, with a thick, chunky pineapple filling on the inside that was jammy with just the right amount of sweetness. This was as close to the incredible pineapple cakes we got while in Taiwan. I was obsessed. I still cannot believe it’s taken me this long to find this place while in New York! Taiwanese bakeries are a rarity here; I hope this place never closes!