What Halloween and trick-or-treating means is very different depending on where you live

Halloween means different things to different people across the U.S. (and world). I have some colleagues whose streets completely shut down in the suburbs for neighbor-sponsored parties of bouncy castles, haunted houses, games, food, and drink. Friends in San Francisco go house to house trick or treating, with some of their neighbors even redoing their garages for a mini-haunted house experience. Some go to adult-only Halloween parties where everyone dresses up. Others go to different neighborhoods to see what kinds of candy and fun will be available to them. Until I moved to New York, I had no idea that high-rise, doorman buildings like ours did their own version of trick or treating: they would have participating residents sign up for their unit and time slot they’d welcome trick-or-treaters, Some buildings even do their own lavish decorations in their entrances and lobbies as I’ve seen a few times this year.

In the last two years, we took Kaia trick or treating just in our building. Two years ago, she didn’t quite understand what she was doing, but went along with it. Last year, she understood she was getting candy every time we knocked on a door and she said “trick or treat!” This year, when I said we’d go trick or treating on W 69th Street between Columbus and Central Park West, she didn’t quite understand what this meant. When we started leaving our building at around 4, she got confused and said to me, “Mama, I thought we were going trick or treating?”

“We are going, Pooks!’ I exclaimed to her. “We’re going outside, to 69th Street, to trick or treat there! And then maybe we can see some of your friends, too!”

I chuckled. It dawned on me in that moment that to date, Kaia’s only concept of “trick or treating” was just in our many multi-unit building, going unit to unit, up and down the elevator. Her puzzled face transformed into a big grin when she said, “Aww, okay! I thought we trick or treat in our building?” I had to clarify for her that there are many, many ways to trick or treat, and in our building is just one of them! This was becoming a real adventure for Kaia Pookie, as she’d never before gone trick or treating outside the building!

She got so excited as we got to West 69th Street and saw all the decorated brownstones and businesses; the entire street was shut off to car traffic with cops all around. She loved going to front doors and saying “Trick or treat!”, with pretty much everyone passing out candy also elaborately dressed up. (She avoided the skeletons, though, and was not a fan of them!). Her favorite was this guy who had spray painted his entire naked body, from head to toe, bright green; he was wearing white shorts while passing out candy. She kept giggling afterwards. “He’s so funny!” she shrieked to me after as we ran along up and down W 69th Street.

I tried and failed to get in contact with some of her classmates’ parents; everyone seemed to be running behind, and Kaia was quickly getting tired. We waited at the end of the crowded block for at least 15 minutes before I had to call time and tell her it was time to go back to our building. She kept saying she was tired and wanted to go back… but she also said she wanted to trick or treat at our building. So we hit every unit, and she got excited every time someone opened a door for her to yell trick or treat. And just like last year, she was not super happy whenever someone laid out a bowl of candy instead of allowing her to ring their bell and see her. There is one exception to this, though: one neighbor left out a massive bowl of candy, with RING POPS! Kaia got so excited. I didn’t even realize she knew what those things were. She grabbed two and started giggling hysterically. “I GOT TWO RING POPS” she kept saying over and over to the next floor.

Halloween this year was quite fun for all of us, though it wasn’t the group trick-or-treating I had envisioned with her new classmates. Maybe next year we can be more organized. But either way, the day ended well, with Kaia laying out all the candy she got from trick-or-treating on the rug and telling me which of them were her favorites. My sweet baby is growing up super fast… I cannot believe this is already her third time trick or treating!

“I don’t want you to come to my Halloween party!”

Since preschool, Kaia has had many moments when she does not necessarily want her parents there. Sometimes, she insists on walking and holding hands with her classmates. Sometimes, she doesn’t greet me at all at pickup, shoves her backpack into my stomach, then keeps walking. This is all “love” when taken for granted, right? I suppose it starts at an early age!

This morning when Chris and I told her we were coming to her school for the Halloween parade and class party, she started whining immediately and kept saying over and over, “I don’t want you to come!” I actually came to the class 45 minutes early to help the class parents set up the Halloween party activity and party treats. So when Kaia was coming back from her other class and saw me, she immediately looked away, pretending not to see me. This is what love feels like with school-aged kids, eh?

The Halloween parade and party were a lot of fun; I got to meet some parents of Kaia’s class I hadn’t previously met, and we got to chat and get to know each other. I even had a pretty lengthy discussion with one of the classmates’ grandparents, who was in town visiting from Singapore. She got so excited when I not only told her that we are planning to go to Singapore at the end of the year, but also when she realized I could speak Chinese (the other parents volunteering don’t speak Chinese). So I had some unexpected time practicing my basic Mandarin. That was a bonus for me. I had a quick chat with Kaia’s homeroom (Chinese) teacher, who told me that Kaia’s focus on Chinese stroke was improving a lot in the last couple weeks; this was news to me, I told her, because every night of doing homework was a cry fest and a repeat shouting of “I don’t like homework! I don’t like it!” in both English and Chinese!

A friend of mine also came to see Kaia for the class party, and then afterwards when after-care started, we went to catch up at a nearby cafe. This was when Kaia suddenly wanted her parents: I went over to her to tell her I was going out with my friend and that I’d pick her up in a couple hours. Chris was already out the door at that point. Kaia grabbed my leg and suddenly said she wanted to come with us with her big sad puppy-dog eyes. The teachers ended up having to console her and gently pull her off my leg…

So, that’s love from your kindergartener. They want you when they want you, and when they don’t want you, they… ignore you and pretend you don’t exist. Love comes in many forms, as I am constantly reminded….

Sub Rosa Bakery en route to the airport

As soon as I learned I was going to Richmond, Virginia, for a work trip, I immediately looked up Sub Rosa Bakery to see if I could do a pre-order to pick up en route back to the airport on my last day. During our Labor Day long weekend trip back in September 2023, Chris tried to take us here, but we failed: the line was just way, way too long. And to be frank, it seemed a little crazy to come from New York City to a much smaller city like Richmond and wait in line for bread and pastries! But Sub Rosa is a special place: they have their own stone mill in-house to freshly mill their grains into flour right before baking. They have a wood-fired masonry oven like the old-school ones in Europe, so the flavor is a lot different: it’s supposed to yield a different texture and flavor than most commercial bakery ovens. And all of their breads (except the ciabatta) are naturally leavened — real sourdough! And for some specialty, seasonal items, they make their own cheeses from scratch. The owners are a brother-and-sister-baking duo with Turkish roots, and you can definitely see the Turkish influence on the menu.

I made a mental note to place my pre-order two days before the pickup date. I set it for about three hours ahead of my flight so I’d have ample time to pick up. I stopped by Union Market a few blocks down for a cold brew coffee and yogurt for breakfast, plus a breakfast burrito to eat at the airport for lunch. Then, I walked over to Sub Rosa, bypassed the tiny line of four people, and headed straight to the back shelves to pick up my super big bag of goodies! I pre-ordered the sesame light rye sourdough loaf, the rosemary sea salt pide flatbread, a sour cherry pistachio croissant, a mini quiche (had a quiche craving!), and the beef borek. When I took the bag to the outside tables to inspect my goods, I counted and realized that they had thrown in an extra pistachio croissant on the house for me; I LOVED this place already, and I haven’t even had a single bite of anything yet!

I got upgraded on my flight back, so I wasn’t that worried about having this big brown bag with me. But when the first class flight attendant saw my bag of goods, she asked me if I’d like to store it in her flight attendant closet at the front. Of course, I said yes, and then we chatted about Sub Rosa. Since she makes frequent overnight stops in Richmond, I told her she had to go! She wrote it down and promised to go next time. And she wasn’t even the first person who asked me about my bag of goodies: when I went through TSA, one of the security people peered into my bag and asked where the pastries were from. I told him they were from Sub Rosa and were going back to New York City with me. He immediately grinned and told me they were worth bringing back because Sub Rosa is amazing!

Upon coming back, I sliced my bread loaves and took a bite of the sesame light rye sourdough: so good, so sour, amazing spongy texture. The pistachio sour cherry croissant was good, but to be honest, not as “wow” as the Radio Bakery croissants here. And the beef borek was flaky, savory perfection. This was the best thing to come out of this Richmond work trip, hands down!

Chicken and lentil soup, majorly improvised from NYT Cooking

Because we have The New York Times app, we also have access to their cooking app. I don’t actually make the recipes from here that frequently, but I do browse it a decent amount and bookmark recipes for inspiration. I had recently bookmarked lots of soup recipes (it’s soup season, remember?), including one for red lentil and chicken soup. As soon as I read through the recipe, though, I knew I would need to improvise a lot from the original: the soup uses no stock at all, just water. It also has one spice other than pepper: turmeric. If you cook with spices at all, you know that turmeric is never used for its flavor, but rather its color and health properties. If you want to “flavor” something with just turmeric, you are basically saying you want to taste dirt, which to me, is not that tasty (to each their own, though…). I like the idea of using lentils and chicken together in an autumn soup, so I used the base and immediately started doctoring it: I used my chicken/duck stock. I added coriander, cumin, paprika, and my self-blended Madras curry powder for additional flavor. I also added spinach at the end, along with a generous sprinkle of minced cilantro for freshness. I also like it with a squirt of lemon when I’m too lazy to add the lemony yogurt to the top. It really hit the spot… after all the changes I made. If I made it as is, I definitely would not be giving it the 5-star rating it currently has! And if you read the recipe comments, you’ll see many people make the same changes I did… but likely still gave the recipe five stars! They are far more generous than I am. I would never give a recipe five stars unless I followed it to the T and found it absolutely perfect!

Fall is soup season

Every September, as the temperatures start dipping and the leaves begin falling, most of my food social media starts going crazy because everyone loves autumn cooking. “It’s SOUP SEASON!” many recipe developers, food influencers, and food publications will write. And with soup season comes the need for an endless supply of delicious bone broth or stock that you can use as a base for all the amazing soups we want to make at home. As far as I am concerned, I can have soup every day, regardless of what the temperature is. But I do start actively thinking about soup a lot more in the colder months.

Since we just went to Costco about a week ago, our freezer is quite stuffed with supplies. So my bone bag (that I always refill whenever I roast/cook bone-in meat) was getting a bit squished. Chris was lightly scolding me about this yesterday since he always gets mad about certain items being placed in ominous situations in the freezer. I decided to finally throw the contents into my Instant Pot this morning with water to pressure cook while I went to the gym and got some morning calls done. Once lunch came, the bone broth was ready. When I shut it off and opened the lid, I inhaled the stock: it smelled so good, and a bit different than my usual chicken stock! And then I suddenly remembered: this bag had not just a lot of chicken bones, but also my entire duck carcass from my whole roasted duck last month! I was even more excited to strain it and let it cool!

My duck carcass is like the gift that keeps giving: I’m looking forward to using it for soups this and next week and seeing what different flavor profile it brings!

Cooking with my Costco and local Vermont goodies

Every time we come back from a road trip, we always make a stop by Costco on our way back to take advantage of having a car. So of course, we come back with the car fully loaded, and I always tell Chris when we get back, “We’re rich!” It feels that way because when your fridge, freezer, and pantry are stocked to the point of nearly overflowing, it really does make you feel rich: you have plenty in a house of plenty in a land of plenty, and that feels very full. It also makes me grateful that we can actually afford to stock up on our staples, as I am very well aware that not everyone has the ability to do this.

In addition to the Costco stocking up we did, we also got way more consumable items in Vermont than I originally imagined: this includes a bottle of local whisky, a bottle of local bourbon, orange wine, chocolate raspberry wine from New Hampshire, and honey mead. The whisky and bourbon we tasted and purchased at the Burlington Farmers Market, the orange wine is from the Shelburne Farmers Market, and the last two bottles are from the fine food and drink marquee at the Stowe Foliage Arts Festival. In addition, we also got local organic chestnut and lion’s mane mushrooms and a Barn First Creamery brie-style goat cheese at the Burlington Farmers Market, a quart of Green’s Sugarhouse Very Dark maple syrup and maple balsamic vinaigrette, fancy marshmallows, and a couple chocolate bars from Adagio Chocolate shop in Middlebury. It was quite a local Vermont food haul! If it wasn’t already clear, I love Vermont!

Today, I spent a good amount of time cooking some of our new foods and ingredients. I seared and sautéed my lion’s mane and chestnut mushrooms; they browned beautifully and have a delicious, earthy, almost nutty flavor. They are almost even a little sweet! We sampled a little of these (Kaia loved the chestnut mushrooms the most!), but I’m planning to use most of them for toast with our Vermont goat cheese. I sautéed half a pound of spinach from Costco, roasted a pound of brussel sprouts (Costco!), made a maple balsamic roasted salmon with my new vinaigrette from Greens Sugarhouse. I also cooked my last bag of Rancho Gordo Blue Goose Field Peas and some brown rice. And on top of all that, I made my third batch of fresh, homemade soy milk! I always feel good when I’m cooking with new and fresh ingredients. This meal felt like fall to me! Now, all I needed to add was some butternut squash to the mix!

Autumn in Vermont: The best leaf peeping

Although I had previously been to Vermont during spring and summer, I always knew that autumn would be the most spectacular for me (as someone who hates cold winters and does not do snow sports, I have zero, zero desire to visit Vermont in the winter). I didn’t grow up with four seasons in San Francisco. There was even a period in my childhood when I really did think that “fall leaves”/autumn foliage was just completely made up for books and movies. So when I came to the East Coast for college and got to see all the spectacular autumn foliage on the Wellesley campus, I was hooked. Even when I was stressed during midterm exams, I still found some peace in the beautiful fall foliage.

Chris took us on a scenic route headed toward Stowe today, so we visited a number of fun, beautiful, and tasty places, including Cold Hollow Cider Mill (great spot for cider donuts, maple syrup, maple everything, local Vermont products, fun Vermont souvenirs, and lots of fun photo ops), Ben and Jerry’s headquarters (no tour this time, but mainly a stop for their famous Flavor Graveyard. It’s gotten quite an upgrade since we last visited in 2014, as some of the grave stones even have QR codes you can scan for more information on the retired flavor!), the Stowe Foliage Arts Festival, the Alchemist Brewery, and Pie-Casso (pizza) for dinner.

Cold Hollow Cider Mill is the kind of northeast suburban/rural fall retreat stop that we’ve really embraced over the years since Kaia has been in tow. It has everything you’d want at this time of year: pumpkin patches, hay stacks, colorful mums (the flowers!), scarecrows, freshly pressed apple cider, apple cider donuts, and all the fall flavors you can think of. Maple syrup featured prominently here, and I appreciated there were signs explaining how the maple syrup grading changed in 2014 in Vermont, which was then changed at the national level in 2015. Although we didn’t get to take advantage of it, they have an entire section that is open to the public where you can watch the apples being pressed into fresh cider; you are also allowed to pour yourself your own (free) sample out of a tap! The line was crazy long when we got in, so we just bought cider and cider donuts and enjoyed them outside.

The main highlight of the day was definitely the fall foliage surrounding us everywhere. We made some stops along the way to take photos to capture the beauty. And we also got to enjoy leaf peeping to the max at the Stowe Foliage Arts Festival. The festival happens at this time of year annually in the Stowe Events Field, which is surrounded 365-degrees by mountain views and vibrant colors of the autumn foliage right now. If it wasn’t already clear from the name, it’s not just an art festival; it’s a foliage arts festival! They have lots of local fine arts and crafts, live music, specialty food and drink, and of course, fresh food. Going through the marquee with all the art vendors was really fun: we saw so many types of art that we’d never been exposed to before. My favorite in terms of uniqueness was this female artist who uses threads to create composition. At different angles, the colors of the thread look different. The artist incorporates a little swing on her trees for a 3D feel. I also loved seeing all the different large scale photography of the stunning Vermont landscapes; one artist printed his photography on metal, which had an interesting effect on the photo itself!

The Stowe Foliage Arts Festival also had a marquee with specialty food and drink, which of course, we embraced. They had lots of generous samples; it reminded me of what the New York Chocolate Show and food festivals have been like that I’ve attended in the past. After tasting, we bought a bottle of local mead and a very unique bottle of chocolate raspberry (!!) wine. I finally caved in and bought more maple syrup (despite having just opened a Costco maple syrup bottle at home) after trying Green’s Sugarhouse maple syrup (Amber, Dark, and Very Dark). The standard and most common maple syrup you get is amber, which is considered the most versatile for cooking, baking, and drizzling on pancakes and waffles. At this booth, we got to try all four grades side by side. Given we love very strong flavors, we decided to get the “very dark.” And along with that, we picked up a bottle of their maple balsamic vinaigrette, which was very zippy. The lady working the booth says that she uses it not just as a salad dressing, but also to glaze her fish and meats. I am definitely using this on fish soon! I love that Green’s Sugarhouse is a seventh generation maple sugaring house; it felt good to support a local, family-run business. But hey, there’s another fun fact I learned: the majority of maple sugaring houses in Vermont are all family owned and generational traditions!!!!!! This state is so unique and fun!

We ended the day at Alchemist Brewery, which is likely the most fun and interesting-to-wander-and-look-around-at brewery we’ve ever visited. They have lots of art and murals everywhere, even on their ceilings. They have very tall trees growing inside the brewery. The brewery has a large outdoor space for drinking, corn hole and other games (perfect for letting your children be outside and safe!). There was a live band playing outside when we arrived. This place was anything but boring. I got to enjoy a very good stout while Chris had a hazy IPA. Kaia and I played corn hole, and she eventually found two new little friends to play with.

We had pizza after the brewery and a long, DARK drive back to Middlebury. If you didn’t already think it was rural here in the day, then at night, you will know for a fact you are in the middle of nowhere driving here. Chris drove us safely back with long stretches of high beam and low beam on (no lights on roads here!!). Upon putting his head down on the pillow back at the hotel, he passed out and immediately started snoring. That’s how I know he’s really tired and had to concentrate a lot!

Vermont: Population density, covered bridges, and maple grading changes

I have lots of fond, delicious, and happy memories of being in Vermont. Back in 2009 (or 2010), I came here for the first time for canoeing, hiking, and the Burlington and Brattleboro towns and farmers market. In 2014, I came here on a stop with Chris and his parents, and we did a Ben & Jerry’s factory tour and tasting, visited the “graveyard” of retired ice cream flavors, and also did a very thorough and delicious tasting of cheeses at Cabot Creamery. Now over 12 years later, Chris and I are back with the Pookster in tow for our autumn leaf peeping long weekend! And we are in luck: the leaves are definitely changing colors. We’ve seen so many gorgeous colors on this trip already!

I started thinking more about the state of Vermont versus New York and California, the two states I am most closely associated with. And as we were driving through Vermont and even in just Middlebury, where we are based during this trip, I thought about how I have always lived in relatively densely populated places, and how living in a place like Vermont would probably feel far too quiet and even borderline spooky for me. California is where I was born and raised and lived for the first 18.5 years of my life; it’s the most populous state in the U.S. New York is the fourth most populous state in the country, with a large chunk of that population in New York City, where I live. Vermont, on the other hand, ranks 49th (out of 50) for total population, and it’s one of the least densely populated states in the country. New York State’s overall population density is about six times Vermont’s; New York City is about 400 times more densely populated than the entire state of Vermont. It’s no wonder everywhere we go here, I marvel at how much open space there seems to be, and how far apart all the houses and buildings are. It’s because relatively speaking, they are all very far apart when compared to anywhere in New York City! The town of Middlebury feels rural, but then to me, perhaps the entire state of Vermont feels rural!

Stereotypically when I think of Vermont, I think of three main things: 1) maple syrup (obviously), 2) dairy and all things related (Cabot Creamery makes some of the best cheese in the country. Plus, I even like their branding and logo), and 3) Bernie Sanders. But when I started reading more about Middlebury, I started thinking more about the local college, Middlebury College, which is a highly ranked liberal arts college here, and all these “covered bridges” I kept seeing pop up as potential tourist stops here. For about a split second during my senior year of college, I considered applying to Middlebury College… that was, until I looked at it on the map and saw how it was in the middle of nowhere. Then, I immediately nixed it. Even at the age of 17, I knew I needed to be in or near a major metropolitan area, otherwise I would go nuts (I still feel this way today, so no wonder I live right in Manhattan). Vermont, the “Green Mountain state,” is also known for its covered bridges. While there used to be about 700 of these peculiar bridges, today, only 100 remain standing. These covered bridges were originally built with large structural wood trusses; their main purpose was to solve for all the endless rivers that are all over the state. The bridges are all quite short; Chris drove across the Halpin bridge yesterday and I walked across it; it took me less than 30 seconds to walk across this tiny covered bridge, built back in 1840. Because these bridges were all wooden, if they were exposed to rain, snow, and freeze-thaw cycles, they would rot pretty quickly. So, the bridge isn’t covered to keep travelers dry; the bridge is covered to keep the bridge dry and protected. This is such an interesting fun fact!

Today, we visited two different farmers markets: Burlington Farmers Market and Shelburne Farmers Market. There was a great variety of vendors at both. I always love seeing the local produce and goods at each city and town we visit when we can. At the Burlington Farmers Market, we picked up some local chestnut and lion’s mane mushrooms (they were organic and so fresh and springy!), Vermont goat cheese (loved the taste and texture of this one), “artisanal” marshmallows created by a local pastry chef, a bottle of local bourbon, and a bottle of local whisky. At the Shelburne Farmers Market, we bought a bottle of local orange wine. At both markets, we saw the inevitable vendors selling maple syrup and other maple products, and I noticed that instead of saying “Grade A” or “Grade B” as I had previously seen during my 2009 Vermont visit, the labels said something more descriptive, like “Golden Color,” “Amber Color,” or “Dark Color.” So I made a mental note of this to research this later. In 2014 (the year we last visited Vermont), Vermont actually officially overhauled their maple syrup grading system, as “Grade A” vs. “Grade B” was far too confusing (I would agree with this). In 2015, this became official nationwide. The old hierarchy that I remember, “Fancy,” Grade A, and Grade B, was replaced because darker syrup was not actually lower quality; it just had a stronger flavor, which many people prefer (including me!). I distinctly remember a colleague who had a spouse from Vermont say that he preferred “Grade B” because it had a stronger maple flavor and was darker in color. But to the average person, “Grade B” sounds like it would be inferior quality to something labeled “Grade A.” Today, the grade tells you mainly about color and flavor intensity, which makes more sense immediately. Grade A is all commercially available maple syrup now; this is the default for anything you can buy. “Grade B” does not exist, period.

So, I learned a lot of new things today about the second least populated state in my country! I’m so happy I got an update on Vermont’s maple grading and how it changed in 2015; I feel so much more “in the know” about local Vermont facts, and perhaps more importantly, national food facts now. 🙂

Mid-Autumn Moon Picnic

Kaia’s current school does an annual Mid-Autumn Moon Family Picnic, which, weather permitting, is usually held outside at a nearby school’s playground. This year, they had to move it indoors into the school gym. They used the downstairs classrooms surrounding the gym for activities like face painting, moon cake making, beading, arts and crafts, visor making, ballon artistry, and temporary tattoos. While pizza is provided for all the kids, all the families are asked to bring food that can serve at least 12 other people, and they specifically asked for the food to be bite-sized.

My initial pause when I read this was around the “bite-sized” restriction. I originally wanted to do something savory, but what could possibly be “bite sized” I could make easily that would be savory? Then, I moved into the idea of an autumn bake (double baking weekend!), something simple like a mini pumpkin “donut” (really a mini muffin) rolled in cinnamon sugar. Our buddy family told us that last year, everyone over indexed on desserts, so there were too many desserts and not enough savories. I understood that completely given the “bite sized” description. But I figured it would be better to come with the homemade mini pumpkin donuts so I wouldn’t have to overthink things.

Something that I need to learn from, a mistake I make over and over again, is multitasking too much in the kitchen. The biggest case in point here: Chris gets mad at me whenever I multi task while double boiling chai, as chai boils over very quickly because of the milk. Today, I was doing the ultimate multi-tasking: I was making three different savory dishes for this week’s dinners, while at the same time trying to measure out all my wet and dry ingredients for these mini pumpkin muffins. When I popped the mini muffin tin into the oven, I couldn’t figure out why the batter wasn’t “evening” itself out the way it normally does given the high temperature bake. The batter can look a bit bumpy and not smooth on top, but that usually solves itself within the first five minutes in the oven. This didn’t happen this time. The muffins rose, but they didn’t rise the way I expected and still looked bumpy and lumpy when I took them out when the timer went off.

I went back to the recipe and scanned over every ingredient… and it immediately dawned on me that I NEVER ADDED THE BROWN SUGAR. I never even took out the brown sugar bag to measure it out! I essentially ended up making a pumpkin spiced whole wheat mini bun, not a real donut or muffin because there wasn’t even a granule of sugar in this!

I ate it, and it tasted fine, but nothing to get excited about. It tasted like… seasoned carbs. You could definitely taste the pumpkin spice. It has pumpkin puree, egg, and whole wheat, so it’s not like it’s nutritionally void. Kaia ate one and said she liked it (bless her heart, as they say down in the South). So I guess I’ll be packing these for her school snacks this week to prevent waste. I ended up re-making the entire recipe all over again — this time, with the brown sugar. I went over the full ingredient list one more time before I finished the batter, re-filled the mini muffin tin, and baked. Then I rolled each in butter and cinnamon sugar and packed them away to take to the indoor picnic. These tasted good, and they were quick and easy… well, easy as long as you read the damn recipe and measure out every ingredient properly and do not multitask.

Well, once again, the food spread had more desserts than savories. And the savories were definitely not all bite-sized: people brought everything from empanadas to platters of dumplings to various noodles. There was even fried chicken! As we all know, “noodle” dishes are certainly not “bite-sized.” I guess I took the “bite sized” suggestion too seriously. Maybe next year, I’ll do what I originally wanted to make and bring a savory dish. I could make a sticky rice, a tossed noodle, or if I am feeling really fancy, a scallion milk bread bao.

First Back to School Night

When I got out of bed two mornings ago, I knew that autumn had really come: it was the first time I felt the need to put another layer on upon waking. The temperatures felt like they declined sharply in the last few days, or maybe it’s just me. And what perfect timing since the autumn equinox was also on Tuesday, the actual official start of autumn in the northern hemisphere!

Lots of things happen in pretty quick succession once fall starts: school begins, Back to School Night is scheduled, lots of kid/school events, Mid-Autumn Moon Festival (that’s tomorrow!), and Halloween. For me personally, there’s the AFSP Out of the Darkness walk and fundraising, which I usually begin pushing at the end of the summer. End of summer is also when our committee meets more regularly to plan the walk day down to the T. Tonight marked our first official Back to School night at Kaia’s new school, another reminder that she really is in formal school days, in kindergarten. As one of my gym friends says, it’s a “marker that you’re getting ready to let her go.”

Since we don’t have a nanny or family for easy childcare, Chris stayed home with Kaia while I attended the Back to School Night event. The schedule was a bit too packed and condensed: the presentations were too long, and there wasn’t enough open time to breathe and let people ask questions freely. They said they would take questions “after” the presentation was done, but the hard part about that was after each session, we were being motioned to move onto the next talk. At least this was a good way to see what the kids are actually learning week by week, unit by unit, and how the target language themes align with the English Language Arts themes. A bunch of the parents were grumbling in our kindergarten class, saying that when they ask their kids what they learned in school today, they usually respond with something like, “Nothing! We didn’t do anything! We talked about nothing! We didn’t read! We just sat!” I can related to this: more than two or three times in the last two weeks of school, Kaia has responded in exactly this way.

After Back to School Night, there was a casual after-party at the wine bar across the street from the school. I originally intended to just stay for a bit and get one drink, but I ended up staying until the very end along with two other fellow moms (I still stuck with one drink, though). This wasn’t too long, though. In total we were there for about two hours. I’ll be honest and say that no, not every single parent here is warm, friendly, and welcoming, but I would expect that, otherwise they might be some crazy cult. For the most part, people seem friendly, genuine, like they want to be open to others. There’s definitely a good sense of community overall here that I enjoy. Parents mostly do want to get to know other parents, and it doesn’t seem forced or competitive.

When I was walking to the school before the event started, I did start feeling a little sad and wistful once again, thinking about my sweet baby, growing up and slowly spreading her wings and flying away. But then I remembered one of the books we’ve read a lot called “The Wonderful Things You Will Be.” Then I think about how every stage of her development has brought so much curiosity and joy and love to our family, and how with every new thing she says and does, I am more and more amazed by her development, her growth, her depth of thought. She will always be my baby, but she has to be set free to learn, explore, and love. It’s a beautiful but sad thing at the same time. I suppose this is what a mother’s love feels like. I am still reckoning with the fact that my baby is in kindergarten. It is still sinking in.