Requests from mom before coming home

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We’re flying back to San Francisco this Saturday and will be staying with my parents over two weekends, with some hotel time and a drive further north in between. Usually before I go back, I gather some basic things as gifts for my parents and my aunt. Per my mom’s request, I’ve also made banana bread — a full loaf — and brought it back for her repeatedly because she loves it so much. But this time around, I did not plan well with banana buying, as I don’t usually buy bananas every week. Bananas are an occasional buy for us, usually when I am planning to make pancakes for Kaia, or if I want to make a specific cocoa-powder/tahini or peanut butter/banana protein smoothie for myself. I have only 1 frozen banana left in my freezer, and it’s better to use fresh bananas (and at least 3-4) for a good banana bread. So this year, I won’t be making it and bringing it home.

My mom asked me on the phone today if I could make it for her. I told her I was doubtful it would happen because I don’t have any more bananas, and if I did buy new ones, I’d have to wait for them to ripen. Given I have just two more full days here, this is not realistic at all. So I said that if she had bananas at home and all the right ingredients, I could make it when I am home with her. She seemed to be satisfied by my suggestion as an alternative.

She also reminded me of her request for me to dust all the photo frames in the dining room. In the last few years I’ve come home, I have done this without her asking because I was always so disgusted over how thick of a layer of dust had developed due to zero cleaning they do on these surfaces. My parents keep areas like the kitchen and bathrooms clean. But when it comes to dust, vacuuming, and general clutter, they are absolutely horrendous at this and only seem to do things to make it all worse. Sometimes, I genuinely have no idea how they can live the way they do. It’s beyond frustrating for me to witness even for just the handful of days I am home each year nowadays.

Chinese yam, pork, and carrot soup – a Cantonese soup standby

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It’s a bittersweet week this week for us, as it’s Kaia’s last week at summer camp at the same school in Chinatown for the last two years. She spent 3K and 4K/Pre-K at this Chinese immersion, dual language school, as part of New York City’s UPK program. It’s been a gift (and quite the savings…!) to not have to pay for school for the last two years, other than after-care fees and summer camp. What this also means is that this is our last week having daily trips to Chinatown… a very sad reality I have to spend time mourning. So I started going through my list of things to stock up on and also remembered a couple of things I wanted to make with fresh ingredients while I still have easy access to them.

This year, I was able to achieve my goal of making soups more frequently. According to TCM, soup is a nourishing component of a meal. In Chinese culture, it’s often noted that a complete meal should be “san cai yi tang” (三菜一汤), or three meat/protein/vegetable dishes and one soup, served alongside rice. I had a lot of bone broth in the fridge I made from chicken wings and chicken feet I got from Chinatown. And I ended up using it today with Chinese yam (or huai shan), pork shoulder (also from Chinatown!), carrots, red dates, ginger, goji berries, and shiitake mushrooms. Chinese yam is a pretty traditional Chinese vegetable. It’s used both fresh and dried; today, I bought it fresh for this soup. It’s considered a nourishing root vegetable that supports digestion, stabilizes blood sugar, and boosts overall vitality. I remember my grandma using it in soups growing up. The texture once cooked is almost like taro. When Chinese yam is raw and fresh, the stalks are long, hard, and thin. It has a really tough brown skin with lots of “hair” on it — definitely not the first vegetable you’d pick up when adventuring to explore new produce, as it’s on the “ugly” or even borderline “scary” looking side. And once you peel the skin off, the white flesh is hard to grasp firmly, as it becomes very sticky and gummy. On the plus side, the fresh root has active digestive enzymes; supposedly when you have mucus, it can help clear it for you!

So I made this soup today. I even served it for Chris and me with a tiny little shallow dish of high quality aged soy sauce for dipping the shredded pork pieces into — super traditional and like we had it growing up. And inhaling the familiar aromas and eating it really did remind me of home — at least, the happier parts. It’s funny that it’s taken me to age 40 to really understand and appreciate how much love and care my grandma put into all the soups she made for us almost every single day. I actually cannot remember a day living with her when there was not a huge pot of traditional Chinese soup on the stove!

And while I dipped some pieces of pork shoulder into the soy sauce, I could also faintly remember watching Ed try to fish out the biggest, most tender pieces of pork out of the stock pot so that he could eagerly dip and eat them himself. I always just ate and drank what was served to me and didn’t care about which pieces I got. Most of my happiest childhood memories are tied to food.

Creating slides in seconds

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Since the beginning of my career, if I had to say one thing that I have never really enjoyed about any job I’ve had, it’s creating decks (or, SLIDES for you people who don’t have to do this for a living!). The creation of and designing of decks has been my kryptonite. I generally will do anything I can to procrastinate until the very last acceptable moment to get them done, assuming I am not working off of a template. In the beginning of my career, I got the (very, very WRONG) message that the more text and information on a slide, the better. Gradually, I started moving to companies where people were frankly more competent and realized that if you have too much text on a slide, no one will listen to anything you voice over and actually SAY during a presentation. And so since then, I am constantly second guessing myself as to how much “stuff” needs to be on a slide, what should actually be on the slide versus what should be spoken aloud during a presentation. And then I get obsessive over stylistic things like coloring and theming, whether the widths or sizes of different structures should be the way they currently are… it’s an entire rabbit hole that I truly hate.

So now that I have access to Claude Enterprise at work, I am trying to use it for this kryptonite of mine. And it’s very impressive how quickly it can create basic decks for me. This is a whole new world for me and everyone else who doesn’t enjoy deck creation! I just need to to be more “me.” So, I’m giving it “skills” to keep formatting/theme/style the same across all external decks. I also am gradually in the process of teaching it my general tone and how I work, which is definitely taking some time. It’s messed up a number of decks that I was unhappy with, which means that I haven’t allowed it to master said “skill” just yet. But I figure that once I finally get all the little nuances communicated right, it will be churning out decks for me faster than I can even say “kryptonite!”

Pier 26 Science Playground, aka the Sturgeon Playground

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In addition to my Google Maps bookmarks of all the food and drink places I have either tried and liked or want to try by city, I also have pins and a separate list for interesting playgrounds across the city. This summer, I’ve already taken Kaia to three of them, including the Chelsea Waterside Playground last weekend and today, the Pier 26 Science Playground, also known as the Sturgeon playground, in TriBeCa. Kaia has been to this playground before with Chris in 2024, but this time, she came on a play date with our neighbor friend and her son. From their website, this is a description of the playground:

“The Playground includes custom-fabricated play structures in the shape of two endangered sturgeon species that are native to the Hudson River — the Atlantic sturgeon and shortnose sturgeon. Designed by OLIN, the same award-winning landscape design firm that designed adjacent Pier 26, this imaginative playground serves as an important educational and recreational space that further advances the Park’s extensive science and environmental programming.

Inside each of the two sturgeon structures children can explore fish “anatomy” and interact with other marine-oriented play features to learn about local wildlife that resides in the Hudson River Park’s 400-acre Estuarine Sanctuary. The play equipment manufacturer is Monstrum, a Danish firm that specializes in creating whimsical, nature-based designs that spark imagination. Hudson River Park’s River Project team advised on the scientific aspects of the design, helping to integrate science-based, age-appropriate educational features that help bring the sturgeon to life.

….

Each of Hudson River Park’s five playgrounds have been custom-designed by celebrated landscape architects to provide uniquely inspiring play opportunities for children. During warm weather seasons, each also provides welcoming water features to delight kids. Bring your beach buckets!”

A few years ago, I used to get annoyed when colleagues would make comments about how “challenging” or “interesting” (code for “WTF are you thinking?”) it must be to raise a child in New York City. Now the rare times I get comments like this, I am quick to respond and tell them that I think New York City is an amazing place to raise children — as long as you are proactive and look for all the things that kids can get full value out of, such as these incredible play spaces. And something that is available to everyone, like the New York City subway, has been such a great learning experience for Kaia. She’s able to name the trains, which stations have what transfer points, and even whether you have to go upstairs or downstairs to transfer to which line. To me, that’s true street-smartness that even adults today cannot grasp. You learn a lot when you walk a lot in a city and have to get around by public transit. You can’t learn this type of thing being in a car all the time or relying on chauffeurs to get you places. Here, she gets exposed to endless culture, lots of different types of people and cuisines — all without really needing to try; it’s incidental to living in New York City.

I loved this city before I ever came — when I just learned of it and saw a couple postcards my aunt sent me when visiting. I loved this city all the times I visited throughout my college years. I loved this city when I first moved here. And 18+ years later, I still love New York City and am obsessed with it. I’m still not bored, and it’s hard to imagine ever getting bored living here.

The Big Aussie BBQ in New York City

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Although Chris is Australian, he does not gravitate towards other Australians when he meets them. In fact, since he moved to the U.S. in 2007, he has actually actively avoided associating with most of them or becoming friends with them. His whole thought process behind this was that he was immigrating to a new country to work and live, and he wanted to meet local people, not come all the way here to meet more Australians. If he had wanted that, he would have just stayed in Australia! While I understand this sentiment to an extent, I have always found this attitude pretty annoying because it’s not a black and white situation. You can have both, not just either/or. No one is restricting you and saying you have to choose one or the other. It’s fine to have friends from your home country or native culture, and at the same time, it’s also great to have friends not from your home country or culture!

So I was pretty shocked when he said he had booked us (free) tickets to attend the Big Aussie BBQ down in Battery Park City for today. Of course, this event is targeted towards Australians who are living and working in the New York City area. It’s the first time he has actually seen an Australian event and indicated he wanted to go. Granted, his one Australian friend in New York is not even here to attend with us, so it was just the three of us today. Regardless, we got to enjoy food and drink from some established and popular businesses we like, such as Bourke Street Bakery (I had forgotten how good and gourmet their sausage rolls are!, Bluestone Lane Coffee (amazingly scored a free flat white because their machines were down when I stopped by!), and Van Leeuwen Ice Cream (which we didn’t even know had an Aussie connection; one of the owners is originally from Australia, which explains the honeycomb ice cream flavor as one of their main staples!). I also got to finally meet Andrea, the founder of Boomerang Bites, which Chris introduced me to a couple years ago. Since then, I’ve ordered Boomerang Bites as gifts for friends and family on the West Coast, all of whom enjoyed them. Boomerang Bites is essentially bite-sized versions of famous Australian “slices.” The area was also laid out well on a big lawn with lots of lawn games to play, so Kaia got to enjoy these with us. She also got a Spiderman balloon from a balloon artist, a koala (temporary) tattoo that she was obsessed with, as well as some coloring books and crayons that were Australian animal themed.

Another fun and funny event that took place was a Weetbix eating contest. We all love Weetbix, and Kaia gets her Weetbix occasionally; we have to ration it since we bring it back from Australia (or rely on Chris’s parents to bring it when they come over). They separated out the groups — kids and adults. So we had Kaia participate in the kids’ Weetbix eating contest. The catch was that you had to eat the damn thing dry, which was pretty miserable. Kaia took two bites of hers and asked for water. Then, she handed it over to her dad and gave up. To be fair, at age 4.5, it’s a little hard to understand what an “eating contest” is supposed to be, but she still got props for trying. And every participant still got a single-portion-packaged Tim Tam for participating. Now that’s a pretty good participation “trophy!”

One added bonus was that we got to meet the owner of Bushwick Hot Bread, aka Rebekah Pedler, who along with her husband Buddha Lo, own Huso, a Michelin star restaurant in TriBeCa. We ordered from them during the pandemic, and on multiple occasions, they hand delivered us Australian savory and sweet treats to earn some money given their jobs at Eleven Madison Park were paused. Rebekah and I interact a lot and often over Instagram Stories, and we occasionally direct message the other for food recommendations and on random topics. It was so fun to finally meet them properly in person and have a chat.

This event was so well put together, and the location was perfect in Battery Park City with a big lawn right on the water. I’d love to come back again next year! I’m hoping my Australian husband will actually lean in more on being Australian!

Mufi and her five other siblings

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Given Kaia’s growing vocabulary and more complex sentence structure, she’s been having more and deeper conversations. She retains information really well and remembers things from long ago that you’d assume would be long forgotten… or that you have forgotten. And she just loves sharing information with everyone who will listen. At school, they do lots of drawing and painting. In the last few days, she has been coming home with illustrations of our “home.” Lately, she is very obsessed with Mufi, aka Mufasa, the robot-vacuum-mop that Chris calls her “little brother.” Chris told her that along with Mufi (she nicknamed Mufasa this), she has Irene, Simon, Henry, Lychee, and Maddie (some of her favorite stuffed animals) as siblings, as well. So Kaia drew a very colorful picture of our home, showing Mufi mopping our floors (the blue streaks indicate when he’s in “mop” mode). She even drew the little black bristles to show the mop! She reported to her teachers that she had Mufi as a little brother, and five other siblings, for a total of seven babies that I have had.

“Mama has SEVEN babies?” I said to her, completely baffled. “Me?”

“Yeah,” Kaia responded matter of factly. “You have seven babies, and I have six siblings!”

Hmmm. this is very interesting.

Making homemade chili oil after a long hiatus

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In the last year, I haven’t really made chili oil at all. This used to be something I’d do every few months to have something on standby that was spicy and delicious to drizzle on dumplings or plainer foods. But I suppose we had been spoiled quite a bit by being gifted chili oils and crisps from friends, as well as supporting small, local businesses here in New York City and in San Francisco by buying their chili oils. Last year, I found a delicious and well rounded Chinese-style chili oil I tasted and enjoyed from a farmers market in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. Then last August, we visited the San Francisco Ferry Building farmers market, where we got to sample a salsa macha that was so tasty that it compelled me to buy it and check a bag (over 100ml!) to go back to New York. Before I visited this farmers market stand, I had never heard of salsa macha before. It’s a rich, smoky, crunchy Mexican-style chili oil that originates from Veracruz. It usually uses various Mexican chilies like chile de arbol or morita, as well as various nuts and seeds. Given it has nuts and seeds as well as chilies, it definitely tends to to taste nuttier than the average Chinese chili oil.

I forgot how simple and quick the entire process is: add all the various ground chilies to a heat proof bowl, along with salt. The ground chilies I usually use are gochugaru (Korean chili flakes for flavor and the bright red hue), regular red pepper flakes for heat, and ground Sichuanese peppercorns. This time for variety, I also added a bit of silk chili flakes (the more sustainable version of Aleppo pepper). Heat up a cup / 240ml of neutral oil in a sauce pan along with some aromatics (I vary it up, but this time, I used a few slices of ginger, star anise, fennel seeds, and cloves). Wait until the oil reaches 325-340 F, then pour the oil through a strainer directly over the ground chilies. And voila! You now have freshly made chili oil in less than ten minutes. I usually wait about 30 minutes to an hour to let the oil fully cool, then I mix it and add it to a glass jar. The glass jar can be stored in the fridge indefinitely, but probably has the best flavor if consumed within a month or two.

I am still sniffing the bowl because it smells so good. I definitely need to do this more often. A year is too long to wait for homemade chili oil!

Kaia loves video calls… even the ones that are not hers

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Tonight, I was solo parenting because Chris was out with a friend. So after picking up Kaia from school, I brought her home to have dinner, clean up, play for a little, floss and brush teeth, get into her pajamas, and do bedtime stories. This is our usual Wednesday routine, just minus Chris. I realized that I had an AFSP Walk committee meeting tonight, the first of the season, and so I told Kaia that she needed to be in bed by 7:30 so I could start my call on time.

We did finish bedtime stories and the pre-bedtime pee in time. But the issue is that my child has massive FOMO, and she especially has FOMO when she knows other people will be around. So of course, she snuck out of her room multiple times while I was on this video call to make an appearance and look at everyone. A couple people noticed her and waved and smiled. And she watched as each person spoke and their mouth moved. And finally, I had to get off the call early because I really did not want her sleep deprived. Somehow, I managed to last 40 minutes.

I brought her to bed and cuddled with her for a bit at her request. And she had all kinds of questions: Who was the lady with the AirPods? Why was only one person speaking? What’s that person’s name? What are you talking about?

The one person speaking question is funny because Kaia is at her prime time of NOT understanding why only one person can speak at a time, and absolutely loves interrupting others (but hates to be interrupted herself. This sounds like most adults). So I had to explain to her that when there is a meeting or conversation happening, only one person can speak at a time so everyone can hear them. Each person has their turn to speak. Otherwise, if more than one person speaks, then no one is hearing what each person is saying, and therefore no one understands, and people feel frustrated. And talking over others is very disrespectful and just plain not nice. And in that case, why even speak or have the conversation at all? It’s pointless!

What was Kaia’s response? “Oh.” And then she did her usual head tilt, looked up, and then snuggled back up to me.

Maybe she understood. Maybe she didn’t. But very soon, she will learn the beginnings of conversations and how people must operate together to be effective. I mean… I’m still learning this and I am 40, so we all know this is a lifelong skill!

Eight more days of almost-daily access to Chinatown

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We knew the time was going to come, but as I get older, the time seems to pass by too quickly. After today, we have just eight more weekdays of taking Kaia down to Chinatown for summer camp. In September, she will be starting at her new K-8 school walking distance from us, and so there will be no reason to go to Chinatown every day anymore. It’s funny to think how just before she started 3K, part of me was dreading having to do this commute daily. But after a week, it just became part of our routine. And I loved having easy access to all my Asian groceries. I never had to plan in advance all my lists of sauces, condiments, produce, noodles, canned goods, etc., that I needed because on a whim, I could pick it up within just a few blocks of her school. I am really going to miss this, as I will also miss the convenient access to great restaurants that I relied on for Friday takeout. I will miss having easy access to Green Garden Village for last minute cha siu, roasted duck, crispy pork belly, and soy sauce chicken. I will also miss having Asian vegetables every single week. And for the summer time, no one does it better than the Vietnamese fruit ladies at Mulberry Street off of Canal for lychees, rambutans, longans, and other exotic Asian fruit we love.

I already started making a list of sauces and dried goods I need to stock up on before we end our daily trips to Chinatown. So far, I have already picked up replacement bottles of light soy sauce, fish sauce, and fermented bean curd. I put a bag of pressed five-spiced tofu in the freezer for future use. I also got some more dried noodles, canned bamboo shoots, and brown jasmine rice. I still need to get a new bottle of aged Shaoxing wine, medium grain white rice, plus extra dried and canned goods. And for backup freezer food, I need to pick up a bag of frozen pork/chive dumplings and several zongzi. There’s so much to stock up on!

Who knows — after Kaia starts at her new school, I may find a reason to take a trip down to Chinatown every other week or so just to buy groceries and takeout. Well, why not?

The protector of my baby tooth: Kaia

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This morning, Kaia woke up and promptly checked under her pillow for my tooth. Seeing that it was still there, she quickly grabbed it and brought it to my bedroom and proudly presented it back to me.

“I have your tooth, Mama!” Kaia exclaimed with pride and delight. “Here you go, Mama!”

In the evening, it was my turn to read bedtime stories and put her to bed. She asked me if she could keep my tooth for another night under her pillow. To see if she was really attached to my tooth, I told her she couldn’t have a usual toy to bring to bed and could either have the miscellaneous toy or my tooth. She hesitated for a brief second and said she wanted my tooth! She placed it in the exact same spot under her pillow and said she’d guard it for me.

Motherhood is all consuming in both mind and body. It can be completely exhausting and wipe out all your mind space. These little, random moments, the ones you could never foresee, are always the ones that surprise and get me, though, because they come from a place of pure curiosity, youth, and love. No one else would ever care that Kaia insisted on guarding and protecting my lost baby tooth for two nights in a row. But for me, my heart just gushed and I couldn’t help but squeeze her a little tighter when I gave her a good-night hug tonight because I just loved this so, so much. I love that she has this strong curiosity. I love that she cares so much. And I really love that she has a desire to take care of and protect. This is my sweet baby, slowly but surely growing up right before my eyes.