Bánh bột lọc: a labor-intensive, finicky, and annoying dish

Bánh bột lọc, a Central Vietnamese (Hue) specialty, is a tapioca dumpling, usually wrapped and steamed in banana leaves, stuffed with seasoned shrimp, pork, and sometimes mushrooms. My mom introduced these to me as a kid, but it was very rare to find them even at Vietnamese restaurants and bakeries in San Jose because these dumplings are so laborious and annoying to make. The “annoying” part is due to the tapioca starch: unlike using glutinous or regular rice flour doughs, tapioca starch is extremely, extremely finicky and difficult to manage. Sometimes, it can feel like liquid sand in your hands, and it’s hard to get the texture just right so that you can actually knead and shape it properly. But it’s imperative that you get it to a bread dough-like stage, otherwise shaping it will be a nightmare.

The last time I remember having these tapioca dumplings was probably over 12 years ago. My mom met and befriended a Vietnamese woman who had an underground Vietnamese catering business. This talented lady made all the Vietnamese dishes we love that require so much effort, dishes like banh uot, banh cuon, banh it tran, and bánh bột lọc. My mom did a massive bulk order of banh bot loc, knowing that I’d be home. And then, she sent me back to New York with a big bag of banh bot loc, all individually wrapped in banana leaves. She ordered me to store them in my freezer and pop however many out for Chris and me, and to then steam them to eat. “And don’t forget the nuoc cham!” she said, before I went back to New York.

So I decided that for my Lunar New Year party this year, I’d finally attempt making bánh bột lọc. I always have banana leaves in the freezer. I just thawed the shrimp. And I had tapioca starch. I was always up for a challenge, right? And well, this was certainly a challenge.. and a real mess. The tapioca starch dough was so finicky and infuriating. But when I finally got it, I was on a roll. A few of the dumplings I rolled with banana leaves had errors, resulting in the “dough” oozing out of the leaves like liquid. So I promptly steamed my “mistake” dumplings to see how the texture and flavor turned out. And I was shocked: even the “mistake” bánh bột lọc looked decent, and the flavor and texture were spot on! The flavor was savory and briny; the texture was nice and chewy, just as tapioca should be.

My mom doesn’t really like that I love cooking, especially laborious, intense projects like bánh bột lọc. She will likely get annoyed when I tell her that I already made a batch of these, and it’s currently sitting in my freezer, waiting to be steamed. But I hope she realizes that it’s one tiny way that I try to keep her culture alive.

Blizzard descends upon the Northeast

While I was originally planning to take Kaia to the Lunar New Year festival at the Lincoln Center today, that event ended up getting cancelled due to the blizzard hitting the Northeast through tomorrow. Chris was listening to the official notifications regarding the blizzard: it would officially be declared a snow day tomorrow, which means there wouldn’t even be remote learning for older school children. All grocery stores would be closed, and very likely the majority of restaurants and businesses. Many subway trains would be running on weekend/reduced schedule. New Jersey Transit would not run. And they even implemented a travel ban for all non-essential vehicles in Manhattan within certain hours of the day.

For activities for today, Kaia’s swim class got cancelled since the college pool is closed. But her martial arts class in the morning still went on as planned. Chris grumbled that the weather sucked and that it was miserable outside; I reminded him that most Sundays, he never wants to go outside, anyway, and insists on relaxing on the bed with his computer. He responded and said that wasn’t the point: it’s actually about just knowing there’s an option to have a pleasant day outside. Plus, dreary weather always gets most of us in a sleepier mood, even when we haven’t done much at all to get tired.

A friend of mine in San Francisco is having her belated 40th birthday celebration there today. I won’t be there for it, but I messaged her to let her know I was thinking about her and that I hope she has a good time. She responded and said she completely understands why I don’t typically travel for leisure at this time of year: she saw reports about the impending blizzard and said that would definitely be terrifying for any planned air travel.

So I spent my Sunday doing what I usually do: morning yoga, a lot of cooking, some cleaning, and some playing with the Kaia Pookie. Tomorrow will be a snow day, so work productivity will already be lower. So we’ve just got to focus on the important things, which is staying warm, having enough good food to eat, and making sure that we stay sane with this continuous cold weather.

Kaia, almond croissants, and Almondine Bakery

We were wandering around Dumbo, Brooklyn, today, finding new places (like the incredible Fontainhas Cafe — what delicious royal chai!), and revisiting old favorites, like Almondine Bakery. Almondine Bakery has long been on the “best of” lists in New York City when it comes to their croissants, and especially their almond croissant. They definitely do not skimp here: they have a really thick, generous layer of almond paste inside the croissant, along with a beautiful sprinkling of toasted, sliced almonds on top. We’ve gone here pretty much every year of Kaia’s existence; I still remember Almondine being one of the very first places where I did a diaper change for her in their bathroom (on the floor, with a mat!). As soon as she realized we were in a bakery this visit, she ran to the glass display cases and started pointing at all the colorful things she wanted to eat. But I told her that we’d get almond croissants (she cannot always choose at her age). She insisted she didn’t want an almond croissant; as of late, she has some mental block seeing almonds and walnuts in any form (even though she’s actually happy to eat them). When I bought the croissants over to our table, though, she immediately tried to pull the croissant out of the bag and wanted to dig in right away. But.. she started trying to pick off the sliced almonds on top and just eat the main croissant.

When we were leaving Almondine, I had her pose with the Almondine sign and take a photo there. Later this evening when reviewing my Google Photos, I did a search for “almond croissant,” and there I saw more photos across the years of Kaia at Almondine. We’ve taken so many repeat shots of her at the same place, year after year, that I could easily do a year-by-year, one after the other, photo slide show of her frequenting our favorite spots across this city. Our old faves may stay the same at the same locations with our same love for them, but our Kaia Pookie just keeps growing and growing. And her smile at these places is only getting bigger and bigger, too!

Friends reunion and health scares

Today, I had a midday meet-up with a college friend who was in town for her kids’ winter break. They came into the city to have a quick midday snack with me before driving back up to Boston. Her kids are obsessed with the American Dream Mall, so they visit about once a year during a school break. I’ve been able to see her both last year and the year before for dinner while I was in Boston for work, but both times, it was just herself. This time, I got to see not just her, but her husband and all three of their kids! The last time I saw her husband was before they even got married. And I was excited to meet all three of her mini-mes today.

The two older kids were very sweet and affectionate and prompted addressed me as “Auntie Yvonne,” giving me a hug, and making sure I knew how old each of them were. The youngest one was 15 months, and he was like a quiet little koala. This is my “go big or go home” friend when it comes to kids: she always said she either wanted zero kids or a LOT of kids. And so now she’s got three. And just before I was going to ask if they were considering a fourth (because this time last year, she told me she and her husband seriously were talking about trying for a fourth!), she told me that they are officially stopping at three because their number 3 child had a very tumultuous first 15 months on earth, with getting RSV at two months and rhino virus at four months; both required multiple night-long hospitalizations. And then just before Thanksgiving (and his first birthday), he started vomiting, and his stool was coming out with blood. They found out that he had intussusception, which is a medical condition where one of his intestines slid into another part of his intestine; they said the most common way to understand what’s happening is to think about how a telescope slides its way in and out. It was a result of having multiple back to back viral infections — poor little guy. And the only way to resolve this was to have him do surgery where the surgeons would cut him open and manually pull the intestine out of each other. Luckily, no parts of the intestine had died (this is a real fear if it’s caught too late), and he made a quick recovery. This little one-year-old was out of the hospital, post-operation, after just a one night stay! In retrospect, they said they really had it good: their first child never got sick and was super easy as a baby and toddler; their second child got sick occasionally but was also pretty chill. This third child, as is evident, keeps giving them one scare after the next!

I think about these crazy situations that can come up that are completely out of our control, and I’m just so thankful that Kaia has, to date, been pretty healthy (and fingers crossed, this continues). I don’t know how I could stomach a situation like my friend’s third child had — to think of a tiny little baby needing to be cut open for surgery just makes me want to cry my eyes out. My friend and her husband are definitely troopers in their own right — and the most fertile couple I am friends with, by far!

What is “chai”?

My “to try/love/old standby” Google Maps favorites list is now over 800 places strong for the New York City area. It was too much effort and trouble to create a separate list for “to try” versus “loves/old standbys,” so I just know by looking at my one list which ones I’ve been to already and enjoy versus places I would like to check out. I had a little non-descript chai spot on my list for the Lower East Side, so I asked my friend to meet there today for a late afternoon tea catch-up session.

Since it was my first time there, I got their first and most popular drink, the masala chai. The description of the tea says, “black tea, cardamom, clove, cinnamon, ginger, black pepper.” The drink is slightly sweetened, and the cafe, as a standard, uses only oat milk. When I had my first sip of the chai, the first thing that hit me was the strong ginger flavor, which I enjoyed. But then the flavor that kept lingering, and not in a great way, was the cinnamon. The cinnamon just completely overpowered the other spices in this drink. I did enjoy it overall, and I liked the ambiance of this cafe, but I am not sure I’d come back here just for the chai (they have some other tea drinks on the menu, as well).

“Chai” means a lot of things to different people. “Chai” actually just means “tea,” but when used in a cafe context here in the U.S., it usually is referring to Indian spiced chai with milk. Everyone likes theirs made differently. Some people want just ginger or just cardamom. Some people like a mix of different spices. Some just want double boiled black tea with milk. Some people want a lot of sugar, while others want little or none. I’ve realized after having many different chais at different places, including across India, and also making my own, that my favorite chai is very strong on the cardamom and ginger, with a hint of fennel and clove. And if I am making it at home, I need to add about half a teaspoon of sugar (ideally brown or something else molasses-y) per cup to even out the inevitable bitterness that comes from double boiling CTC tea. As far as I am concerned, it’s not chai unless there’s ginger and/or cardamom. And unless I am in that type of mood, I never, ever add cinnamon to my chai because I find that it always overpowers all the other spices, especially the delicateness of cardamom, which is undeniably one of my favorite spices on the planet. The older (and supposedly wiser) I get, the more and more I appreciate fine, subtle flavors that whisper to you in the background.

Vietnamese handmade delicacies

Of all the types of cuisines I like and cook semi-regularly, I probably make far less Vietnamese food than I’d ideally want to have at home. A big reason for that is most of the Vietnamese dishes I absolutely love are pretty laborious. No one is whipping up banh xeo on a weeknight for a casual dinner. And if you want to enjoy central Vietnamese delicacies like banh it tran (sticky rice dumplings stuffed with mashed mung bean, minced pork, and shrimp), or banh beo (steamed bite-sized rice cakes topped with shrimp) — well, that’s going to be a whole weekend affair, with their multi-step process. These dishes are so frustrating because they are so time-consuming and laborious to make, yet they are eaten in mere seconds. The people who eat these dishes do not always understand or appreciate how much love, effort, and skill goes into making these tasty delights.

While enjoying the banh chung from Banh NYC restaurant the last couple days, I watched as both Kaia and Chris excitedly ate their portions. Kaia had her happy drool face on when we put the banh chung, still in its steamy banana leaves, in front of her. Banh chung is a dish that requires a lot of steps, a lot of patience, and a lot of skill. There is required skill for each step, whether that’s soaking the rice or soaking, steaming, mashing, and seasoning the mung beans, or preparing and marinating the pork. But there’s also skill that your hands just need to *know* to wrap and fold the leaves just so, so that the final steamed package is this perfect square. I attempted the tying of the string at the Tet Lunar New Year event hosted by VHC a couple weeks ago; that was super hard! I messed up twice and then finally gave it to our volunteer workshop instructor to help me fix my wrongs. This is one of those dishes I don’t even bother attempting to make; I leave this to the pros. But maybe there would be value in attempting it as a cooking project once or twice, just to see if I could do it. Dishes like these are slowly but surely becoming a lost art. For our Lunar New Year party this year, ‘m thinking about making banh bot loc, which are bite-sized shrimp/pork tapioca dumplings, individually wrapped and steamed in banana leaves. The last time I ate these was when my mom found a Vietnamese home caterer, and she did a private order of these little chewy babies; she even sent me back to New York with some to store in our freezer so that I could steam them for future meals. While AI takes over the world, what it will never be able to do is replace the love and art that goes into crafting special dishes like banh bot loc or banh chung. That really needs a real human touch — even if Chris debates that because he likes to troll my obsession with handmade, homemade things all the time.

The Husband of the Year award goes to Chris on the first day of the Year of the Fire Horse: the mad, spontaneous sprint to retrieve Banh’s banh chung!

A few weeks ago, we had a decadent lunch at Banh on the Upper West Side, which is one of our favorite Vietnamese restaurants in the city. While there, I picked up one banh chung, or banh tet, a Vietnamese savory sticky rice cake that is steamed in banana leaves and stuffed with luxurious mashed mung bean and pork; it’s a traditional food that is painstakingly made for Tet Lunar New Year. Previously each Lunar New Year, I’d pick up a banh chung from the Vietnamese market I usually go to on Bowery off of Grand (assuming I wasn’t back in San Francisco around this time, which would mean my mom would gift me one from one of her favorite Vietnamese bakeries), but this year, I decided that since we were already at Banh that I might as well pick one of theirs up. Plus, the cost of the banh chung had been slowly going up each year at the market and by now was pretty much the same price as Banh’s (what costs aren’t going up?), so it wasn’t like I’d save much money, plus I’d be able to finally try Banh’s rendition, which I’ve always wanted to taste.

Today is the first day of Lunar New Year, the year of the fire horse. So I saved the Banh banh chung to steam today as part of our dinner tonight. I steamed, unwrapped, and cut it up, and I laid it out on the table. And Chris took one bite of it and declared that it was the best banh chung, or really, the best savory steamed rice wrapped in banana leaves, that he’d ever had — period. I took a bite of it and wasn’t totally sure it was the best banh chung ever since I’ve had a lot of these, but yes, it was really, really delicious. Every bite just seemed to melt into my mouth and burst with flavor. We gave Kaia a piece, and she devoured it in seconds, then asked for more. We were all immediate huge fans of Banh’s banh chung. And I immediately said out loud that I regretted not buying two when we were at the restaurant a couple weeks ago; I had contemplated it, but figured I could always get another banh chung another time, maybe even somewhere else.

Chris and I started talking about schedules for tomorrow. I knew that even if Banh didn’t sell out of their banh chung today that I would be very unlikely to go up there given I have an insane number of meetings on my calendar tomorrow. Chris then grabbed my phone, looked up whether Banh was even open today (it is the first day of Lunar New Year, after all), then had me call them to see if they still had banh chung on hand. I called the restaurant, and they said they still had eight vegetarian banh chung and five meat banh chung left. It was about 5:40; they opened their doors for dinner at 6pm. Chris had already gone into the bedroom to change. He grabbed the OMNY card, his kombucha bottle, and the Trader Joe’s canvas bag and was immediately on his way out. And less than 45 minutes later as I was finishing up Kaia’s shower, he walked through the door.

He came back with not one, not two, but THREE Banh pork-stuffed banh chung. Given the timing, I was pretty sure he did a mad dash to and from when he was off the bus or train. He came back, turned on our bedroom fan for his “summer breeze,” and said he needed to cool down. I took photos of Chris and Kaia with the much coveted and delicious Banh banh chung. Banh’s banh chung has likely ruined all other banh chung in the city for me. I do not think I can ever go back to buying the one at the Vietnamese market ever again. Two of these banh chung immediately got wrapped up to feed the freezer, and would eventually feed our bellies at a later date. The third banh chung was prompted placed in our fridge, to be steamed at some point in the next week or two for very-near-future enjoyment. After all, Lunar New Year technically is not a single day celebration as Gregorian New Year is to the West; Lunar New Year is a weeks long celebration of fireworks, endless feasting, and red envelopes!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my husband Chris, on the first day of the Year of the Fire Horse, won the Husband of the Year award. He can be super annoying, stubborn, and painful to deal with at (many) times. But in these moments, he proves that his true love language is acts of service. Though… he will still not admit that this sprint to and from Banh to retrieve three beautifully and lovingly made banh chung was not entirely selfless, as he also loves this work of (edible) art just as much, if not more, than I do. And of course, Kaia Pookie will get her fair share, as well. The whole family benefits from this delicious deed.

The toilet mannerisms of my 4-year-old child

When discussing parenting, especially during the early years, Chris used to always say that what people always get grossed out about — changing diapers — isn’t actually gross at all when it’s your own child. Their pee and poops are just like your own pee and poop, so it’s not a big deal at all. You take care of it, you clean the baby’s bottom, and then you move onto the next task. It’s just something that has to be done.

Like most adults, I like my privacy when I am in the bathroom and well, on the toilet. I don’t love it when Chris occasionally walks in to grab something if I am using the toilet. I prefer that he stay outside. But when Kaia comes in, it’s no big deal to me; she’s my baby, and she just wants to be with me. So I embrace that. In her pre- and potty training days, we read that it was a good thing to have an “open door” policy when on the toilet with our child because it would normalize using the potty to her. So we always did this, and we are still like this with her now that she’s pretty much fully potty trained.

What she does a lot when she’s in the bathroom with me while I’m on the toilet is that she loves to hug and be held by me. As soon as she sees that I’m on the toilet, she runs right up to my knees, throws her arms around me, and then holds me tight. And then she usually does this “Hmmm!” sound that is almost like a sigh, but not. She does this while we’re in our home bathrooms. She especially loves to do this with me when we are in bathrooms outside our home. And she is most especially clingy when we are in restaurant restrooms that have a hand dryer (she is still terrified of hand dryers and repeats over and over, “I don’t want mummy to use hand dryer!”).

Then, assuming I am doing a poop (hey, everyone has to poop!), she likes to take a look at the toilet bowl after I’m done and make an assessment of the bowel movement. Sometimes, she will whisper to me, “Is it a little one?” Other times, she will peer into the toilet, giggle loudly, and yell, “Mama, it’s a BIG one!” And then she will insist I flush it immediately, then squeal as she says, “Mama, flush it away! Bye bye, poop! Bye bye!”

Of course, if anyone else did this, it would be completely disgusting and pretty hideous. And well, it would never even be allowed to happen. But with Kaia Pookie, she has her ways with us. So, I let her enjoy her innocence and youth, and I enjoy that she loves to always be with me — even when I’m on the freaking toilet. One day soon enough, she will realize that this is kind of gross, and then she will stay the heck away from me when I’m on the toilet (or even in the bathroom in general). So, I’ll enjoy this type of togetherness while it lasts.

Perceptions of commitment and “wealth” in the U.S. vs. elsewhere

A neighbor friend in our building, who I regularly meet with for play dates with our children, goes to France about three to four times a year for vacation. Her partner has family in Strasbourg, and they like to spend time in Paris on most of these trips, as well. She had previously told me that they usually just get an AirBnB in the same neighborhood because they enjoy it, plus she likes to have her own kitchen to cook with local produce and ingredients. I never thought much of it until today when we had a play date at Complete Cafe and Playground, and she confessed that she actually didn’t use AirBnB when she goes to Paris, but instead actually owns a pied a terre in the fifth arrondissement there. She and her partner bought it shortly after their son was born, and they generally are very tight-lipped about it. She said she’s shared that she has this second home with fewer fingers than she has on her hand (outside of family).

I didn’t really mind; whatever friends or colleagues choose to share with me, I leave it at that. I generally don’t care to pry unless there’s some very specific reason to do so. But I did ask her why she didn’t want to share it openly, or initially with me. I told her I obviously don’t look at her any differently. She told me that a) she didn’t want her employer to find out, because they may look at her like she’s less committed to living and working in the U.S. and may flee to work in Paris or somewhere else in Europe instead, and b) she felt a bit subconscious about it because she didn’t want other people to think that she and her partner were more wealthy than they actually are.

My neighbor friend and her husband are from France and Turkey, so I guess their mindset does make sense. But given I am American, I found it a little funny because the truth could not be more opposite from what she believed. Most employers don’t care what property you own, if any. I’ve known enough colleagues who own a second home far away from their home base, so I don’t see this as a problem at all. And secondly, and this is just anecdotal — I feel like when Americans are able to afford and buy a second home, no one is secretive about it, and they’re more than happy to share it with everyone and their grandmother. Americans love sharing and flaunting “wealth.” It’s almost part of the ridiculous American dream to be this way inclined. I just found this to be an interesting perspective.

The Chinese invasion of bakeries and cafes in New York City

Over the last year or so, there have been endless Chinese and Taiwanese bakery, cafe, and bubble tea chains and franchises that have opened in New York City. Because I always look at and “like” these posts on Instagram, Instagram knows what I am interested in. Plus, I am in Manhattan Chinatown almost every weekday to pick Kaia up from school, so I spend a lot of time wandering around the area to see what is new. What’s clear is that seemingly every month (if not week), a new chain/franchise bakery/cafe is opening here. It makes sense given that New York City is the largest city in the U.S., plus we have a massive Asian population. And to top that off, we have multiple Chinatowns! There are the main ones that everyone knows, like Manhattan and Flushing Chinatown. But there are also the burgeoning ones in East Village (!), Elmhurst, Forest Hills, Brooklyn, and even up in the Bronx. And from what I hear, Staten Island is becoming more and more Chinese by the minute.

All of the tea spots and bakeries are known for different things. Tea Pulse already has two locations within a five-minute walking distance of each other in Manhattan Chinatown. Molly Tea, specializing in jasmine tea, still attracts lines at all its locations, both in Manhattan and Flushing. Befine Cha specializes in bamboo oolong with a citrus twist. Tea Pulse is famous for their tea-infused lemonades, such as jasmine lemon, plus their Portuguese-style egg tarts. And of course, the massive Hey Tea is constantly rolling out new drink specials every month, with a test lab right in Times Square. We visited Flushing today, and of course, I had to check off some of the new bakeries on my list. NaiSnow just opened in Flushing in October and has since opened two additional New York City locations in Long Island City and even the Upper West Side (right by Columbia). They are known for having a mix of “healthy” fresh pressed juices and smoothies, plus indulgences like matcha tiramisu and caramel egg tarts. I picked up their matcha tiramisu egg tart today. And while I was waiting for that, Chris and Kaia got into the (quick moving) line for the three-week-old Bao’s Pastry, which is famous for its savory-sweet crispy pork floss cakes with its spongey inside, and their caramel egg tarts. While there since I was already in the line, I got those signature items, plus a single pineapple cake. That single pineapple cake had a pineapple jam filling that was so thick and fibrous that it is likely the only pineapple cake (feng li su) that reminds me of my all-time favorite pineapple cake in Taiwan — from Sunny Hills, which from what I have read, still stands as one of the most premium pineapple cake shops in all of Taiwan. We visited their shop in July 2017, and almost nine years later, I still remember how decadent and luscious that pineapple cake was, from the buttery crumbly outside to the rich, thick, pulpy fruit jam on the inside.

Although I generally avoid lines at restaurants or bakeries, I make exceptions for the places where the lines seem fast moving. And it’s not like we go to Flushing that often — it’s usually twice a year, max. And so I have the maximalist mindset when I go that if I’m going to go, I might as well make my trip worth it and try as many places as I possibly can — or, collect as many tasty treats, both old standbys and new ones, that I can feasibly carry by myself — or with Chris’s help. Who is going to say “no” to treats?