Potty training, Part II (overnight)

Our original goal was that by the end of this summer (hopefully sooner), we’d have Kaia out of pull-ups overnight. Once we get her out of pull-ups overnight, Pookster will officially be 100 percent diaper free (because, yes, as the Oh Crap! training lady says, pull-ups are still diapers). Last summer, she got the peeing down pretty quickly with an accident here or there. The pooping took some time as expected, but she got it within a reasonable amount of time. After our Australia/China/Hong Kong trip late last year into this year, we stopped carrying around the little potty, so she knows she has to use the big potty (with a toddler seat on top). Day time training was relatively painless for us, especially when I see all the potty training horror stories in my parent groups. Night time training, while we attempted to do it the first week we did day time training, did not go well at all. I still remember that last August, I successfully got her to pee in the little potty overnight just once. And then, several hours later, she still wet the bed for her second nightly pee. With warm summer weather now, we thought it would be easier to try to clean her up and have her wear little shorts to bed to minimize dirty laundry.

Chris’s cousin had suggested that we begin overnight training by simply not sending her to bed in any pull-up. This way, she’d realize how sticky and uncomfortable it was, and that would urge her to pee in the potty. Well, we are on night three of consecutively going without any pull-up, and somehow, she seems to show zero desire to get out of bed to urinate at night. We know she’s wet the bed/herself when she wakes up crying for us, or if she walks all the way over to our bed and says, “I wet” (I still love and cannot get over the cuteness of how incorrect that sentence is. I am lightly dreading the day when she comes over and says, “I am wet” or “I’m wet.” It’s like the other night when I went out with a friend for the evening. I told her I’d be back when she was asleep. And she came over at 5am with a huge grin on her face and declared, “Mumma, you came back!” instead of a month or so ago when she said, “Mumma, you back!” I loved the evolution in the sentence and hated it all at the same time. My baby’s youth was slowly slipping away in front of my eyes…. and ears).

We shall see how this goes. But unfortunately, I have a feeling that the Oh Crap! training lady will have it right in the end; I’m probably going to have to go down the damn “guesstimating” route of trying to guess which two windows at night are when she is most likely to pee and drag her to the toilet. The fun that awaits!

Hot cross buns, take 2, results

It looks like I did two things right that I got wrong last time: I made sure that I used instant yeast as instructed, and I also scalded my milk to prevent any weird growth deactivation in my yeast. But I probably did not spend enough time folding over my hot cross bun balls enough. The balls were already a bit misformed when I rolled them into balls. So when they rose a lot and expanded, they just… got bigger as the same misshapen balls. The second thing I also got wrong once again was the hot cross piping. I think my flour/water paste was too thick this time; last time it was too thin, ran too much over the buns, and then completely disappeared. This time, the crosses are very clear, but a bit too thick. I also cut slightly too big of a hole in my piping bag (I just used a Ziplock bag), which made my crosses thicker than I would have liked. So appearance wise, they still are not completely what I would have liked, but they are far, far better than the crappy “hot cross scones” that I made a couple months ago. When they came out of the oven and we ate one each, we both declared that they looked, smelled, tasted, and felt just like hot cross buns. So even though they are not perfect, they are many steps closer to my ideal homemade hot cross buns.

I might not try this again so soon after having made them twice, but I do want to try my hand at them at least once more this year, just to get the hang of shaping and piping better. That’s #alwayslearning for me here!

Hot cross buns, take 2

Since I messed up the first iteration of hot cross buns I did around Easter time, I decided that I would follow up by trying to make them again this week. This time, I was ready with both my instant yeast and my pre-scalded milk. There’s no deterring me this time! The dough is currently right by my stove rising. I just checked and it’s already more than doubled in size, which is not what happened last time. A couple months ago when I did this, the dough probably only rose about 50 percent, which was already an indication to me that something was inhibiting the yeast from growing my dough to the full potential.

My friend asked me last week if I had tried making hot cross buns again given my mini disaster last time, and I told her I hadn’t yet. She gave me this look to basically keep me in check: “If I were you, I would have already done it to prove to that fucking dough that I could do it!” Good point. Time is of the essence, so fingers crossed that tomorrow morning, I’ll be able to make this work the right way this time!

An evening of burlesque at The Slipper Room

A friend of mine has spent years and years raving about how much he loves burlesque shows and specifically, how he loves the Slipper Room in the Lower East Side for their burlesque. I have only seen caricatures or snippets of burlesque over the years, and I’d never been to a proper burlesque show in my life. But I figured, hey, I should do this at least once to see if I like it. I am living in the capital of entertainment and live performances/theater, so what better place than where I currently call home to go see this? I always think (and say) that if you live in New York City but do not take advantage of the live theater, entertainment, music scene, or the vast array of cuisines and restaurants, then why are you even living here to begin with? I decided to go last night with my friend to check this place out.

The venue was very cozy. After we checked in, we went into the main stage area to see a few seats that were reserved, plus mostly standing room. Unfortunately, my friend messed up the reservations, so while he intended on getting us reserved seats, we had to stand for about half the time. This ended up being fine in the end because he was keeping watch on the open seats, and since he’s a regular here, one of the guys manning the seats offered us a table right by the stage halfway through the show. The host of the evening, who my friend says is his favorite, was most definitely the highlight of the night. He made fun of a lot of people and things about the crowd (“an all white audience yet again? Oh, what a surprise!”), he offered for audience members to come up and do provocative or funny things, and he infused a lot of humor throughout. There were three main performers during our show who were rotating in their theme or portrayal. The third person, a female, definitely stood out with how flexible she was; I kept looking at her and wondering how people can actually contort their bodies in every which way without completely injuring themselves. I have more yoga goals now as a result of this. Predictably, there was a lot of teasing of nudity, which I personally do not get that excited about, but I can see how others find that to be an actual “tease.”

Now that I’ve gone once, I can mentally tick this off my list of types of live performances I have seen. But in all honesty, I definitely prefer live comedy, music, or actual theater (Broadway or off-off) far more than I liked this burlesque show.

Hidden gems of New York City: Forma Pasta Factory in Brooklyn

Over ten years ago, some friends and I discovered a house-made, fresh pasta restaurant in the East Village called San Marzano which was famous for having all pasta dishes $10 and under. At the time (and now!), it seemed completely ridiculous — we wondered how the place made any money considering how cheap all the food was. I suppose that given the wine by the glass prices were higher than the pasta dishes that that’s probably where they made their money. But still, it just seemed like too good of a deal to be true. I also think about this when I think of pretty overrated and stuffy fresh pasta experiences I’ve had in New York City, at places that people often call “institutions” (I am looking straight at you, Marea). San Marzano eventually shut down and reopened, slightly increasing their prices, but it’s still been very cheap for fresh pasta. Overall, it’s pretty hard to find affordable or inexpensive fresh pasta served at restaurants in the city, so if you find a place, you want to hold onto it forever and keep going back to ensure they stay in business.

Today, we went to Forma Pasta Factory in Fort Greene for lunch. It’s a fast-casual pasta restaurant that has two locations, one in Fort Greene and one in Williamsburg. All the pasta dishes were $14. As part of the lunch special, if you wanted to add a glass of wine, it would just be $5 additional. We got two dishes, a mushroom linguine and a malfaldine scampi. Chris also got us a glass of pinot noir and a sauvignon blanc (from New Zealand!). The portions are just right. The pastas were really al dente and toothy. The sauces were light, very well flavored and seasoned, and borderline addictive! They even give you a big piece of freshly baked fluffy focaccia with your pasta (mmm, carbs on carbs), which they could easily charge for given how good it was. As I was eating fork after fork of these delicious pastas, I was just in shock over what a good deal all this was. It’s not like the rent in Fort Greene would be cheap. And to really add a couple cherries on top, they have this beautiful, enclosed outdoor seating area outside where we sat, AND both wines that Chris selected were delicious! It’s hard to go wrong with a New Zealand sauvignon blanc, but the pinor noir was very refreshing and in a strange way, almost creamy. Kaia enjoyed both pastas and also liked the chewiness of the mushrooms, too.

We ended our meal here with some freshly piped pistachio cannoli with really nutty pistachio ricotta. The service all around was really friendly. It didn’t seem to matter if it was the person who rang you up (it’s an order at the counter and pay type of place, then you get a number and they bring your food out), the people who were making pasta out in the open (all the kitchen is open to see!), the people clearing plates and tables, or the servers themselves, but everyone was really warm, friendly, and always asked if we needed anything or if they could help us in an additional way. They also gave Kaia some crayons to draw with, which was a cute touch.

In a time of high food prices, inflation, and when it seems like just breathing is expensive in the city, places like Forma Pasta Factory are very happy finds.

Yibin Fresh-Chili Beef Noodles (Shengjiao Niurou Mian, 生椒牛肉面)

My understanding of regional Chinese cooking has grown exponentially since my college years, when I finally learned Mandarin Chinese, how to read and write (just enough) Chinese, and when I finally started exploring more of my own (well, half) culture in depth. The truth is that as most Chinese scholars will note, you can spend your entire life studying the various regional cuisines of China, and you will barely touch the surface of it. Even when you think you know everything there is to know, some town, some city, some person or family will shock you and show you something you never even knew existed. Reading about Chinese cuisine and the endless dishes and methods through the eyes of Fuchsia Dunlop also felt a bit life changing for me (I could read her writing about Chinese cuisine and culture until the end of time). As someone who identifies as half Cantonese, I still cannot believe all the things I am learning about Cantonese cuisine. For example, it wasn’t until about seven years ago when I learned that Chaozhou (or Teochew) cuisine is considered a branch of Cantonese cuisine, known for light, fresh flavors, and arguably being one of the first cultures of the world that started eating raw fish (as it has been made famous by the Japanese today).

When the Dipshit Administration announced a couple months ago that massive tariffs were going to hit a lot of our imported goods, I went into a slight panic and went onto Mala Market’s website to purchase a bunch of premium quality Sichuanese products. This included a family of regional Chinese black vinegars, various types of Sichuanese peppercorns, a premium aged Chinese soy sauce, and some alkaline (jian shui) dried noodles. The Mala Market website is amazing — it is so informative and well researched. They not only give you a thorough background on the products they sell and how they were produced, but they also share the history of the overall products (e.g. how was soy sauce first made? What’s the history behind black rice vinegar? How did different versions come about?), and also have a pretty legitimate recipes section that cheekily notes, ‘Proceed at your own risk’). Through their website, I started learning about other regional, city-specific dishes in Sichuan and decided to start trying the recipes out.

Today, I made Yibin fresh chili beef noodles from their site. Yibin is a prefecture-level city in the southeastern part of Sichuan province, about 260 kilometers away from Chengdu. It is known for being a historical source for salt, as well as having a large pepper mill. They also produce bai jiu, or a distilled hard liquor. The noodle dish has four main components: the wheat noodles (in this case, noodles that due to being produced in an alkaline lye water, are naturally colored yellow), the noodle sauce, the saucy minced beef topping, and the fresh accompaniments (freshly chopped cilantro and red peppers). Like many very delicious Sichuanese dishes, this really needs to be assembled to order and eaten immediately. So I got all the components ready and then tossed them in individual portions in a large bowl and served them for dinner. And it was so, so good. The hot and numbing feeling of the just ground Sichuanese peppercorns was super tingly and spicy. The noodles had a perfect al dente chewy texture. And the entire dish just brought me back to our Chengdu trip, where we ate extremely, extremely well. I love and miss the mian guans (noodle houses) that we visited and where we ate copious amounts of delicious food.

I might not be able to go back to Sichuan that quickly or easily, but I have all my Mala Market ingredients to take me there via my noodle bowl at home when I please now. I’m so happy I finally made a big purchase from them this year! Every penny was beyond worth it, even if the prices aren’t cheap. You get what you pay for!

Chrysalis vs. cocoon and ensuring children understand facts

One of the very first hands-on, fascinating science experiments I did in elementary school was when I was in first grade. In our class, we were studying the lifecycle of a butterfly, and we had caterpillars that we were housing in a protective environment. One big distinction I remember when I was six years old is that the teacher emphasized that a butterfly’s protective casing (or “house”) during its pupal stage is called a chrysalis. The chrysalis “house” is hard and smooth on the outside. This is different from a moth, which uses a cocoon, made of silk. And yes, butterflies and moths are not the same. I was never great at science. I was okay at biology, decent at chemistry, and horrible with physics. But this one fact about a chrysalis and a butterfly I remember until this very darn day — all because of that first grade lesson plan.

So when I got a copy of the famous and popular children’s book by Eric Carle called The Very Hungry Caterpillar (via my local Buy-Nothing group — yay!), I got annoyed when we reached the part of the book where the caterpillar builds “a small house, called a cocoon, around himself.” This would have been all fine and dandy had he become a moth. But no, he turned into a beautiful butterfly as the book so clearly states! So instead of calling it a “cocoon” as the book does, I would correct it and tell Kaia that it’s a chrysalis. She never had a reaction to it any of the countless times I’ve read this book with her. Chris would troll me and tell me that I didn’t actually read that part of the book correctly, but I didn’t care. Get the facts straight! Understanding facts (and fake news) starts early — as in NOW!

In the last couple weeks, Kaia’s class has been doing a lesson on butterflies. And so they’ve also watched the metamorphosis of a butterfly…. not a moth. While giving Kaia a shower this evening, she randomly talked about butterflies and what she was learning in school, and she exclaimed, “Butterflies come from a chrysalis!”

I shrieked with joy and started clapping my hands vigorously. Kaia got really excited and started squealing with delight at my reaction. And Chris, having overheard this from outside the bathroom, once again came in to troll me and said, “You meant the cocoon!”

This seriously made my day today. I was so happy after she said this. I felt like a very proud parent of her child. My baby is going to know the real facts, not the made up ones!

Increased time spent online vs. with loved ones

Several days ago, my mother-in-law sent a moving image that depicted the years moving forward and how retired people spend their time. It has categories that you would expect: volunteer work, hobbies, travel, part-time work, spending time with family, friends, and loved ones, etc. The point that she implied was disturbing is that as time moved forward into today’s era, the time spent with family/friends had decreased significantly, and instead, the top place for “time spent” was “online.” That could mean one’s mobile device or computer or tablet. The medium didn’t matter; it was the fact that they were online in front of some screen as the majority of time spent while retired. This made me think about how much time Chris’s dad spends going down Wikipedia rabbit holes when he learns of something he’s unaware of but wants to know more about (and then, I am sure, immediately forgets after he closes out the page). It made me think about my own dad and how he dangerously spends too much time on YouTube watching user-created content made by users who are likely factless and data-less. It also made me think about how my mother-in-law, ironically enough, spends a decent amount of time scrolling through her Instagram and Facebook feeds and watching way too many pointless videos that are sent via her various Whatsapp college alumni and family groups.

I responded and said, none of that was very surprising. Everyone in this chat is addicted to their own devices, so we’re just examples of what the data is showing.

Then, I thought about my friend who semi-recently gave up social media. We used to interact a lot with each other over Instagram, but she said she had to give it up because she spent way too much time doom-scrolling and wasting time on it. Now that she’s almost six months free of it, she feels more liberated than ever. She spends more time meditating, reading things she actually wants to read, and thinking about productive things she wants to do in her future. She never has to look back at her day and wonder where the hell all that time went and how it got wasted.

I was thinking about this and decided that I need to be more intentional with the time spent on my phone. I can’t control that I have to be online for work during work hours. But I can control how I use my phone and for what when it’s non-work hours and days. I really should stop doing what Hari Kondabalu joked about at his show last week, which is falling for “your phone beckoning you,” and immediately looking up something that “bothers” you or that comes to mind that you just absolutely need to know in that very second. Chris does this all the time, too. It’s a terrible phone addiction. Chances are high that it wasn’t that important, anyway, so why do you feel so compelled to immediately go online and look it up? Instead, I am spending more time with my phone in another room. I do not respond to texts right away unless they are urgent (surprise: none have been), and instead, I respond to them in groups at a time. I am also being more intentional about how much time I spend on certain apps and when I use them. After three days of doing this, I already feel mentally better and like my intentions with the world are better. I do not want to be one of those people who is addicted to their phone. And I definitely do not want my child to think that I rather spend time on my phone than be present with her.

The extremes of a toddler in a 24-hour period

There’s a lot to love about parenting a toddler. There’s also a lot that will make you want to rip your hair out and ask yourself why you ever thought becoming a parent is a good idea. “Character building” is certainly one way to put what parenting does to you when you are, in fact, an active parent who actually cares about your offspring.

Last night, we were eating the last of our first batch of lychees for the season. I finally taught Kaia how to peel lychees on Sunday. She already knew how to eat around the pit, as she does with cherries, but this was the first time I actually forced her to peel them herself. Though she initially resisted with her favorite line of, “I don’t know how to!”, she ended up complying after I gave her a small head start by peeling off a tiny piece of one’s shell. As she peeled more and more, she got faster and faster. Kaia even started peeling off huge, long pieces and getting excited by how large the peels were getting. Her focus was very clear as she was peeling each one, and she was definitely getting prouder of herself with her increased speed and peeling off larger sections at once with each following lychee. As I multi-tasked with cleaning and also sitting with her, she insisted that, “Mumma, sit down!” I want you to peel lychees with me.” I tried to offer her a few of the ones I peeled, but she was so sweet; she said I should have them and she will peel her own. It was so cute for her to insist that I sit with her and do this new activity together, and that I also be able to enjoy the lychees alongside her.

Well, that sweetness was then all washed away when the next morning, while eating her organic Whole Foods “cheerios,” out of nowhere she asked for the healthy chocolate muffins I made. We’d run out of those before we left for Guatemala, so I wasn’t sure why she suddenly asked for them. I told her we didn’t have anymore, that she had eaten them all, so she couldn’t have any. Well, that wasn’t the right answer (duh), and she proceeded to have a melt down. “I didn’t eat them all! No, I didn’t!” she yelled.

She cried, yelled, screamed, and kicked up until the point it was time to go to school. Throughout that period, she yelled multiple times, “I don’t want you! I don’t like you, Mumma! GO AWAY!”

Chris always laughs and finds it amusing when she says this. He likes to remind me (because he is a mean husband) that she says that to me at least several times a week. There’s also a subtle implication that she doesn’t say that to him as often. However, I do not fall for the bait, and I say little in response whenever he brings this up. I do not need to deal with the ridiculous concept of parental rivalry in the emotional whims and immaturity of a toddler.

When I was at lunch with my friend on Monday, I shared similar extremes of Kaia to let her know what parenting is like on the average, typical day of someone in her age range. My friend gave me this sour look and laughed.

“It’s no wonder people who become parents stop having sex!” she said to me. “Who wants to have sex when you’re exhausted as fuck by all that?!”

The fun of the East Village on a Monday

I’m lucky I have a flexible work schedule and have the ability to easily take medical appointments, my child’s appointments, and random lunches or errands during the day. The flexibility of my job, and of working remotely, is one of the things I love most about my current employer. We get our work done, and hopefully no one will bother us. I went to the East Village today during the day to catch up with my friend over lunch, and we got some takeaway items and sat at Tompkins Square Park. Walking the streets of Alphabet City and East Village and walking through the park was so quiet. Everywhere we went, it was just a handful of people. We didn’t have to line up to grab lunch or our Vietnamese pandan lattes. We got served right away. We didn’t have to deal with any crowds. I loved being in the area on a Monday and walking around, eating, and exploring. I still want to be around life and people buzzing around; I just don’t need to wait in seemingly endless lines or be moving shoulder to shoulder with people everywhere.

The downside, though, of coming to the East Village/Alphabet City on a Monday is that many shops will have that day be their day off. The durian coffee/Vietnamese dessert shop my friend wanted to check out ended up being closed on Monday. So was the tacos place I suggested to her was one of the best recent places we’ve visited.

Every time I’m down in Alphabet City/East Village, though, I am reminded of the vibrancy of New York City and exactly how much I love it here and never get bored of it. When I first moved to New York in 2008 and worked close to this area, I spent endless evenings with colleagues and friends hanging out in the East Village/Alphabet City. So I hold this area close to my heart. It’s an area I will never get tired of being in. Though I am getting older, I still feel young and vibrant every time I come! I hope I will still “fit in” here when I am graying and wrinkling even more.