One seemingly little decision that paves a very different future — forever

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Today, I met up with a friend’s friend I met for the first time at a kid’s birthday party several weeks ago. We met at a coffee shop on the Upper West Side and talked about our backgrounds, work, kids, and families. This friend grew up in the Dominican Republic, but she is fluent not just in Spanish, but also in French (and English). Her two young daughters are at a French daycare and school. So I was curious to understand how she learned French, and then how she decided to have her daughters immersed in French language.

She said that her mom wanted her and her two younger siblings to learn English. But when she started looking into the schools, she found out that while the international American school’s fees were extremely high, the private French international school was just a fraction of the cost. With this school, her children would learn not just English, but also French — at a massive discount! So it was a no brainer for her to send all three kids to the French school. That French K-12 led to all three kids moving to France to study and eventually work. This friend lives in New York now with her husband and two daughters, but her two siblings are still living and working in Paris and the south of France.

I wonder if her mom ever envisioned the future of her three kids not just being tri-lingual, but also moving quite far away from home and in their daily lives, speaking a different language than their native tongue. That one seemingly little decision changed her kids’ paths in life forever. It makes me wonder what Kaia’s young adulthood and adulthood will look like — merely because of seemingly small choices that Chris and I are making now.

Mother’s Day breakfast at school on Friday

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Every year around Mother’s Day, Kaia’s preschool hosts a Mother’s Day breakfast/tea event where they invite all the mothers/mother-figures to school for a little party. Last year, I missed it since we took a long weekend to Rhode Island. But this year, I was able to attend. Since the classes are all quite small (Kaia’s class has THREE STUDENTS in it, with two teachers, one who teaches in English, the second in Chinese!), they combine all the kids and parents in the same classroom for this event. And while it was beautifully set up with food and hot tea and drinks for all, the parents just didn’t really want to interact with each other. It didn’t matter if you were on either end of the table or in the middle. Not a single parent wanted to proactively talk to anyone else. Every parent was mostly eating or interacting with their own kids. On the 4K side of the table where I was, I attempted and failed at small talk with the two moms of the other two 4K kids. It was mostly a lot of question, answer, question, answer, with me doing most of the questioning. Very occasionally, I got asked, “What about you / you guys?” questions back, but that was only because I asked first. It honestly felt like pulling teeth. And when it was time to go, I was more than ready to leave. Kaia was sad to see me go and started crying, but I really had to get away from these parents who seem to have zero desire to socialize even for the facade of being friendly.

I have really hated the lack of community at the last two schools Kaia has been at. I hope that we are able to feel some sense of community and camaraderie with the parents at her new school come September.

The Japanese experience of having different matcha ice cream levels right here in New York City

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I’m still sticking with my goal of trying at least one new business in Manhattan Chinatown (or the surrounds) while Kaia is in school down here. This week, I tried another new matcha place called Aoko Matcha. They started in the West Village, then opened two other locations in Bayside, Queens, and in Manhattan Chinatown. While it has different matcha drinks and desserts, what it’s unique in doing is offering five different matcha levels for matcha intensity in its matcha ice creams. Matcha cafes are opening up left and right in New York City; I don’t think you can get by in any neighborhood here without either seeing a matcha-specialized cafe, or at minimum, seeing a matcha or two (probably a crappy, low quality kind) on a drink menu. But the levels of matcha intensity are definitely a differentiator. I have only ever seen this in Japan, and most notably in Kyoto almost 11 years ago now. I remember trying the very high intensity level and shaking at exactly how bitter it was! I guess at this point, the matcha ice cream would cease to truly just be an indulgent dessert, and could even be seen as a health food…?!

So I’ll be honest and say that after lunch, I didn’t feel up to having an ice cream all by myself, so I didn’t end up sampling any different matcha levels for ice cream. But I did get the matcha coconut cloud drink, which was matcha cream, coconut water, fresh coconut fruit shavings, and coconut jellies. And given how delicious this drink was, I’d say that I have very high hopes for all levels one through five for the matcha ice creams!

Kaia’s little subway loving friend she sees only on the subway

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Several months ago during school drop-off commutes, Chris told me that Kaia had made a little friend on the subway who loves to call out the subway stops as much as he does. Little A, who is several months younger than Kaia, lives on the Upper East Side and commutes down to West 4th Street for his 3s program. Kaia and Little A noticed each other when one day on a southbound B/D train, they overheard the other also yelling out the subway stops as they were approaching each station. Realizing their mutual love of the subway bonded them instantly, and from that point onward, the two kids and their two dads would sit on the subway together. Today, I finally got to meet Little A and his dad. We were stopping at a station, and instantly a kid on the platform saw Kaia’s face peering out and started screaming and yelling, “KAIA! KAIA!” As soon as I could make out what he was yelling, I realized that this must be infamous Little A.

Little A’s dad and I introduced ourselves and made some small talk. We both learned that both our kids would be attending local schools within walking distance of our homes come September, so unfortunately for their love of the subway, they’d no longer be taking the train on weekdays roundtrip anymore. We both laughed about how other people seem to think this is a plus given closer proximity to homes and the ability to walk to school, whereas we knew that our kids would be sad to no longer have a reason to ride the train every day. I told his dad that we usually are out and about and take the trains on Saturdays and some Sundays we are in town, so it wouldn’t be like she’d have zero subway rides anymore. We all love the fact that we live in a city with such great, convenient public transport, and there was no way Kaia would be a stranger to the subway system once she started kindergarten.

It is crazy to think how almost two years of her 3s and 4s programs are very close to coming to an end — it feels like it came and went in a flash. As we initially approached her 3K program starting, I’ll be honest and admit I was dreading the daily commute to pick her up. But after the first week, we all adapted to it pretty seamlessly, and it just became our new known routine. I’ve embraced it for having an excuse to be in Chinatown every day, and I’ve especially embraced it for having reasons to try out and patronize new and old favorite local businesses. Frankly, I’m not even sure who is going to miss this more, Kaia or me. But I do reflect upon all our subway commuting experiences together and I love all the moments I’ve shared and witnessed with her on the train. She’s had such great, memorable experiences, making new friends like Little A, having cute interactions with strangers young and old who think she’s super cute or smart or both, and witnessing the extreme kindnesses of complete strangers who give up their seats for her or both of us, and just want her to enjoy her little corner seat on the old B/D trains. This is one of the many greatnesses of living in New York City that I will always relish.

Making use of my Costco “deals”

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Last October when we did a big Costco haul, I picked up a number of goodies or “treats.” I define “treats” as things that I don’t necessarily need, but I do want because they are fun. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for my bank account), this past weekend’s Costco visit was pretty much 100 percent utilitarian. I didn’t buy a single “treat” item — everything was strictly grocery, for immediate or future use, or was usable like short socks or slippers.

So I started looking at my pantry and food storage areas when I got back to see if I had overlooked anything I got last October, and after I had organized all my newly purchased food items. And I realized that I still had a large bottle of Nielsen Massey vanilla bean paste sitting under my kitchen sink that I had used only once since purchase. I got so excited when I saw this because I had learned about this brand of ultra-premium vanilla bean paste through professional pastry chef forums. Everyone who has baked in professional kitchens has always raved about how this was their go-to brand for vanilla bean paste, that it took vanilla to the next level in their desserts, and they could not imagine living without it. Every time you use it, you see the beautiful vanilla bean seeds flecked throughout the dessert. I am obsessed with how it looks (we all eat with our eyes, regardless of what anyone says).

I don’t make that many desserts anymore unless we are hosting friends and family over, though. So my opportunities to bake elaborate treats are not that plenty. But I knew I wanted to use it in the next couple weeks while Chris’s parents are in town. So I asked Claude AI to find me a quick and easy recipe with simple, household ingredients to highlight the deliciousness of my premium vanilla bean paste. And smartly, it suggested a classic dessert: vanilla bean custard. All you need is milk, egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch, and of course, vanilla bean paste, and you’ve got dessert ready in less than 20 minutes. I mixed all the ingredients together minus the milk in a heat-proof bowl. Then, I warmed the milk over the stove until steaming. I slowly whisked the hot milk into the egg yolk mixture. Then, I put the mixture back on the stove and whisked until thick. Then, I placed the custard back in a clean bowl and put in the fridge to cool. Tomorrow, we will get to enjoy a very, very vanilla beany custard — all thanks to my fancy Nielsen Massey vanilla bean paste and the quick help of my budding good friend Claude.

It’s not a real Costco “deal” unless you use it. So, I better find new ways to put my fancy vanilla bean paste to use, and this is how I will start!

Pre-recorded video interviews as the norm in today’s interview process

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For the last 22 years (including interviews during college), I have been used to having interviews conducted over the phone, video conferencing, and of course, in person. Back in 2020 when I was looking for jobs, presentations of various sorts were a given with the types of roles I considered. But alas, a lot has changed since 2020. Artificial Intelligence has taken over. Pretty much every tech company out there is either pushing an AI product, or at minimum, claims to have some product, which is then “powered by AI.”

So it shouldn’t have come as a shock when I was invited to interview with a company in the last week, and instead of being asked to have a recruiter phone/video screen, I was asked to do a pre-recorded video interview as the first step of the process. This is meant to streamline the screening process and to get a sense of how well I speak and present myself (especially given I am being considered for a customer-facing role, which would require these skills). In the brief email, they shared that I would be given three questions, with about one to two minutes to answer each question. If needed, I also had the option to re-take each answer once. Before I would start, I would be given the opportunity to test my microphone and video to ensure the audio/visual was working properly. In total, they said this should take me no more than five minutes of time to complete.

I did some research on the tool I’d be using. It seems like this is more “normal” now than it is not. Every organization on the face of the planet is looking to streamline their processes and become more efficient, and if a recruiter can review hundreds of candidates in five minute videos of each speaking versus thirty minutes, that’s cutting the time needed to interview by over 80 percent. Why would they not do this if they could and then focus on tasks that actually require direct human-to-human interaction? I guess these are the things I am learning now since I’ve been out of the habit of interviewing for almost six years now.

When parenting is not fun

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Kaia has been in a mood today. She was pouty at drop-off when Chris brought her to school. Then when I picked her up this late afternoon, she insisted that we had to wait for a little friend in the 3s program since she saw his mom outside waiting. I annoyingly complied and waited. When the mom and kid wanted to wait for the elevator and Kaia did, too, I insisted this was ridiculous. She yelled, so I waited for about two minutes, then finally had to nearly drag her down the stairs because the elevator was too slow, and I refused to put up with it. Whenever she is around her “peers,” she wants to be with them and do whatever they are doing (e.g. waiting for the stupid and slow elevator) for as long as possible. Most times, I humor her. Today, it was just frustrating me.

We got on the train uptown, and I gave her a pack of seaweed to snack on. Kaia refused to give it back to me when we got to our stop, so I (dumbly) let her hold it as we walked up the stairs. She then proceeded to predictably drop the seaweed box, wasting about five strips of seaweed. I hate food waste. She knew she did something wrong and yelled, “It was an accident!” And I brought her to the trash bin to throw the wasted strips away. The irritation was just growing.

But then the cherry on top really happened: instead of holding my hand to walk up the stairs out of the train station, Kaia haphazardly started running in front of hoards and hoards of people trying to enter the subway entrance because she wanted me to take a different stairway than she did. When she ran into one person and they stopped, she would back up and try to run into yet another person. It was as though she had suddenly stopped comprehending that she was in other people’s way and had to walk up where there was no one in front of her. After calling for her multiple times when she refused to listen, I eventually had to grab her and carry her up the stairs and across the street. She was kicking, screaming, and crying the whole time. I rarely care when people stare at me carrying or disciplining her when she’s fussy. But I really, really hate it when she inconveniences other people or gets in other people’s way because it’s so inconsiderate. If she wants to throw a tantrum, fine, but do not do it in the middle of a chaotic subway station with people trying to get by us. No one in New York City wants to be slowed down by anyone else.

She screamed and cried for the entire two blocks home. Part of that time I had to carry her. Part of that time, I was nearly dragging her. And all of that time, she was crying and yelling. I stayed as even keeled as I could. I rarely even raised my voice. But the entire time, I just thought: Really? This kid is almost 4.5 years old. When do the tantrums over things that make zero sense ever end? Do they ever end…? My goal is that Kaia will not grow up to be some self-centered, “me me me” person and think the world should revolve around her. But in these moments where she is physically running into other people and expecting them to make way for her, I am so tempted to just slap some sense into her.

Yes, 36 years ago, my mom would have done just that: she would have slapped, hit, or beaten me into submission, even for the tiniest infractions. In fact, I still remember once when I was the same age as Kaia today, 4-year-old Yvonne did something my mom did not like, and she immediately pulled me into a public restroom stall, beat me, then yelled at me to stop crying and wipe my face, “Otherwise people will think I am abusing you!” I am not doing that with my kid. …Though I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it in these moments of total chaos.

Well, it’s a good thing there aren’t thought police out there.

Costco shopping – including the clothes!

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For the most part when I think of Costco, 90 percent of the time, I am thinking about what interesting food items they have in stock, whether that is fresh, frozen, or packaged goods. I have staple items I always buy, such as the organic boneless, skinless chicken thighs, beef chuck and/or grass-feed ground beef, the individually frozen organic salmon fillets, and the bags of frozen, raw, wild Argentine shrimp. I love their massive bag of spinach. I always get whatever fresh mushrooms they have — the baby bellas are Kaia’s go-to staple mushroom that she will gobble right up. But in the fall if we are lucky, I can get a good haul of wild chanterelles.

Occasionally, I also think about deals they may have on things like skin/body care (Kirkland Signature shampoo and conditioner is most definitely the best! I also think the Cetaphil face cleanser is an incredible steal). I also make it a point to always pick up a massive bag of their baking soda (we use it for all cleaning and laundry, plus baking!), so much so that Chris always makes fun of me about my favorite Costco buy being a ridiculously large bag of baking soda. My colleague watched my Costco Yvonne meets Food video and insisted there was no way I would finish the full bag. I let her know that at that point, I’d already finished MULTIPLE. When you use it to clean your toilets, add to a homemade all-purpose cleaner solution, and to freshen up laundry, you will most certainly use it all up in good time — assuming you actually clean your house.

However, what has been on the radar since right before the pandemic has been looking more closely at their clothing deals. It originally started with restocking on athletic, good-grip socks and sports bras. But then, I started noticing they have pretty good deals on shoes. The slip-on pair of walking shoes I got in 2019 right before the world ended were the most-worn shoe of mine in the 2020 pandemic year; I finally had to retire them last year and replace them with a pair of All Birds. At a Melbourne Costco, I got a set of Winnie-the-Pooh pajamas for myself, and I’ve gotten Kaia and multiple relatives/friends’ kids plenty of children’s clothing sets. The clothing is mostly known name brands, the quality is high (at least from what I can see — they wash well!), and the price is so cheap! And then yesterday while at a Costco in New Jersey en route back from the Finger Lakes, I got a new pair of name-brand slides I will be using as house slippers. They were cheaper than a similar style I was eyeing on Amazon, and they are extremely cushiony and have great arch support! I also picked up a set of eight pairs of no-show grippy socks, which will be needed for this summer.

Once another Costco-loving friend was over, and she noticed we had the same pair of athletic socks on but in different colors. She asked me if I got them at Costco, and I said yes. She started laughing, saying, “See? This is how you know we’re getting old. We buy clothes at Costco now!”

My response to her was, I don’t think it’s being “old” that is what’s driving the Costco clothing purchases. I think it’s that our age has made us realize what good, high quality deals we can get, and that we should prioritize comfort, longevity, some style, and value all in one. And Costco does a good job of that! And there’s no shame in that at all — more pride, actually!

Buttermilk Falls State Park

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Our last stop in the Finger Lakes region before heading back home today was at Buttermilk Falls State Park. The park is named after the foaming cascade (little waterfall) formed by Buttermilk Creek as it flows down the steep valley side toward Cayuga Lake, one of the eleven Finger Lakes. It was named for its “frothy” appearance of its churning waters. Similar to the rock formations at Taughannock Falls State Park, the rocks form in endless horizontal layers, creating flat slabs and angular, even sharp edges as they erode and fracture. The gorge and waterfalls formed since the last ice age, within the last twenty to thirty thousand years.

We did the gorge trail at Buttermilk Falls this morning, which was quite wet on and off throughout the walk up and down the stairs. There were times when we actually just had to walk through large puddles, which soaked our shoes and socks (Pookster was not a huge fan of this, but she was a good little trooper and sucked it up). After going through three of these gorge trails already, I am so impressed with how well maintained they are. The paths are very clearly defined; it would be impossible to take a wrong turn or get lost (…unlike the Mount Jo debacle I caused back in the Adirondacks in 2014 when I thought I would be disowned by my then-future in-laws). There’s really zero way for you to get lost on any of them, and all the stairs are sturdy and taken care of.

While the main Buttermilk Falls is impressive at this park, I would actually say that my favorite part is along the gorge trail further down, where you can see all the pinnacle-like rock formations with layers upon layers of stone etched out. The pinnacles flank all the little waterfalls that keep flowing into each other. When you look at the pinnacles, it almost appears as though a human etched them to look this way; it’s so beautiful and scenic, just asking to be stared at and photographed!

After this trip, I would say that the state parks in the Finger Lakes region are likely one of the most underrated, lesser known, and lesser appreciated public parks in the country. While I’d always been aware of the Finger Lakes region for wine and hiking, I didn’t actually realize how “gorges” the area was until doing research for this trip, and then finally going on it. I’d love to come back and see Watkins Glen State Park and some of the other gorges in the area. Who would have guessed that scenery like this existed in upstate New York?! We’re still always learning about the state, country, and world we live in.

Cascadilla Gorge, Taughannock Falls State Park, and Purity Ice Cream Co.

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Much to Chris’s mom’s annoyance of walking on surfaces that are not flat or cement, we did two hiking trails today: in the morning, we visited Cascadilla Gorge, which drops 400 feet from Cornell’s campus to downtown Ithaca. The gorge is carved through bedrock — shale, siltstone and sandstone, exposing sedimentary rocks that were deposited over 400 million years ago. When you walk through the extremely well-maintained trail, it feels like one little waterfall after one big waterfall after endless waterfalls over and over. And if you take the gorge trail from the trail main entrance, you end up on the Cornell campus!

In the afternoon, we went to Taughannock Falls State Park and did the North and South Rim trails. The name “Taughannock” has Native American origins, as one translation suggests the name is derived from a combination of Iroquois and Algonquin terms meaning, “great fall in the woods,” which would be quite aptly named. The waterfall and gorge together are an example of a “hanging valley,” which is formed where Taughannock Creek’s stream-carved valley meets the deeper glacially carved valley that contains Cayuga Lake. When we reached the falls outlook point on this trail, I used my camera to zoom in on the fall’s base. You could see right away the effects of erosion over time right at that point.

It didn’t seem to matter how many waterfalls we saw on this short trip, but each one was incredible and breathtaking in its own way. I also loved seeing the different colors of the water at different points of the hike, and also when the sun occasionally poked out of the clouds to reveal itself. Though because Chris’s mom hates stairs, inclines, and anything that is even slightly uneven or not flat, she kept muttering, “Another waterfall? Again?” And not necessarily in a positive way…. It also gave way for some fun jokes. Even Kaia at some point said, “Another waterfall? I don’t want that! I’m tired!”

Kaia did get a very special treat at the end of the day, though: at the end of the day, we stopped at Purity Ice Cream Co, an Ithaca institution operating since 1936. It is known as “The Ice Cream of the Finger Lakes” and is quite the impressive ice cream shop: its storefront is huge, with generous seating (booths!), WiFi (a big plus for Chris’s dad), and huge restrooms. There’s even a drive-through where you can pick up ice cream and not even get out of your car! For the first time ever, we let Kaia have a waffle cone — she chose strawberry as her flavor. I shared it with her (since she’s never allowed to have her own to control sugar intake/portions), and I will say that the strawberry ice cream was truly excellent — really creamy, with strawberry flavor infused throughout, and generous with frozen chunks of strawberry fruit. And while I never get waffle cones, this waffle cone was really, really good. It still seemed like it was warm, maybe even fresh off the waffle cone iron, and it was thick and crispy throughout.

We could easily spend a week here exploring all the interesting food spots and hitting every single gorge, but alas, tomorrow is already Sunday and time to go home. I am still wondering how it took us this long to finally come up here. And I still can’t get enough of how good and fresh these state parks smell!