Playing games with Kaia

Growing up, the only person I ever regularly played games with at home was Ed. Occasionally my much older cousins who lived upstairs would play with me, but that would be quite limited. Ed taught me (okay, attempted to teach me in some cases) how to do things like play basic card games, checkers, board games, throw and catch, dribble a basketball (okay, so I never got the last one between the legs, but it is what it is…). Our parents never played any games with us. My mom was always busy cooking, cleaning, doing some kind of housework, or was just simply too tired and wanted to lie down and rest. My dad… who knows where he was. He was either working at an apartment or just avoiding us kids.

I never realized that parents actually played games with their kids until one day years ago, Chris’s dad mentioned being on a family holiday and playing card games with Chris and his brother. And I sat there in total shock, thinking… Wait, you played with your two sons? Really? I am not even sure why that shocked me so much, but it was the very first time I actually thought about parents and their children engaging in play together. I knew I wanted to be the kind of parent who plays with her child.

Since Kaia was born, we’ve done all kinds of “play” together. We’ve played with cars, trucks, and transformers. We’ve played play cooking and baking. We’ve built blocks. We’ve played catch and kicked a ball together. She has many other toys that we’ve played with together. But in just the last couple weeks, we’ve all started playing a memory game that was gifted from a friend. The memory game is quite age appropriate given Kaia is now 4.5. Kaia’s memory is very good — despite being new to the game and having played only two or three times, she’s done far better than I could have imagined!

I love seeing her engage in play, and I love that Chris and I can play together with her. It’s the kind of thing I always wanted for my little family — to be engaged in a fun activity, real play — together, and to have that be a way we can bond.

Three weeks ago, we were in Bridgetown, Barbados

One of Chris’s favorite things to do in speech with me is to tell me that a week ago, we were doing this, or two weeks ago, we were doing that. Today, he said to Kaia and me during dinner, “Just a week ago, we were coming back from Tobago.” The Friday before that, we were in St. Lucia exploring Castries Market and buying lots of local exotic fruit (including three different types of mango!) and enjoying Pigeon Island. And the Friday before that, we had just started our summer trip in Barbados and were enjoying the fish fry scene in Bridgetown, with a super delicious and succulent grilled whole red snapper with lick-your-fingers-good Bajan seasoning. Every year I get older, time seems to move that much more quickly. All these new, fun, happy, learning, cultural, exciting moments seem to come and go just like that. And it further makes me realize how precious all our moments are together, whether that’s exploring a new place, having a meal or bite of something together, or just sitting in the same place at the same time enjoying the exact same thing. While Kaia is 4.5 years old and always wondering when the next thing is happening or, “why are we walking for so long?”, it almost feels sometimes like I am grasping at straws to make these happy moments last longer. It’s like those sentimental sayings and quotes I’ve oftentimes been served since pregnancy and first becoming a mother: sometimes, you just want this moment, this stage, to last forever. But, if it lasts forever, then you never get to enjoy the next great thing that will come!

Time is precious, life is precious, and our moments together are precious and finite. I think about all the experiences I’ve had in my life to date, whether it’s the places I’ve been privileged to go to and see, the foods I’ve eaten, the people I’ve built lasting relationships with, the marriage and life I’ve built with Chris, and having Kaia Pookie as my sweet baby, and I just feel so thankful and so lucky for this life. Life is good. And our memories are sweet.

Eating out while in the Caribbean – so many fresh vegetables!

While we stayed at four different hotels across four different island countries in the Caribbean, and two of the hotels were all-inclusive, I felt like from a vegetable-eating standpoint that this was likely the best trip we’ve had to date for vegetable access. Since we were out and about in Barbados and Grenada where we stayed at all-inclusive properties, we still managed to have some meals out while on the go. In the all-inclusive buffets, it was easy to get vegetables. At the restaurants om property, getting vegetables was straightforward. And with most dining options we had, vegetables were quite ubiquitous. This is always what I’ve enjoyed about dining out while outside of the U.S.: it never feels like vegetables are add-on sides that are terrible value. I guess there are some exceptions to this (while in Taiwan, I do not recall eating many vegetables to be honest; street food in Taiwan is not very vegetable forward!). Vegetables are usually included as side dishes you order. Sometimes, the vegetable options are fixed. Sometimes, the vegetable options are what you choose. And other times, the vegetables are half fixed, half chosen by you. While you may order ginger pork or grilled fish as we did during our one lunch out in Grenada, those mains came with several vegetable options, like stewed pumpkin or callaloo (like Caribbean spinach), bok choy, coleslaw, or taro/sweet potato. I really enjoyed eating all the different vegetables we had across the Caribbean and seeing different preparation methods. Before this trip, I also had no idea how popular sweet potato and pumpkin in general are across these countries. I knew callaloo, taro, and spinach were popular. Potato and coleslaw seemed like predictable dishes to have on menus. But the pumpkin being everywhere was a surprise to me, especially since I consider it a fall/autumn vegetable. So, I’ve definitely learned a lot about Caribbean food culture in the last two weeks.

Whenever we’ve come back from trips where we haven’t eaten too many vegetables, it’s like Kaia just knows that she misses her vegetables and especially her Asian greens, so she physically will stuff her mouth with the greens after I’ve plopped them onto her plate. This is a pattern she’s exhibited since she was very young. But this time after coming home from a trip, she wasn’t really vegetable deprived. I think she had a good share of vegetables across the last two weeks away. Yet still, she quickly gobbled up her roasted bell peppers and blanched bok choy at dinner.

I think the U.S. could learn a lot from other countries around the world about a lot of things. But specifically from these four Caribbean nations, the U.S. can learn to stop having menus with mains that are just a single thing (e.g. pasta, steak, a quarter of a roasted chicken) without also including vegetable sides — and have that be included in the freaking price. Stop up-charging for vegetables and just have them built into the main price!

Why eating beans feels inefficient for increasing protein intake

I spent 1.5 hours eating my lunch yesterday. I don’t think I’ve ever chewed food for that long, and it’s likely because I was trying to get the majority of my lunchtime protein through beans. Just as it sounds, as an omnivore, eating beans to meet one’s total daily protein goals (for me, that’s somewhere between 100-120 grams per day given I have a rigorous workout regimen and keep active) feels extremely, extremely inefficient. Why does it feel this way? It’s because beans are far less protein dense than meat and require eating much larger volumes of food to get the same amount of protein. And for someone who is generally just not used to eating a large quantity or volume of food per meal (and was previously used to skipping breakfast completely pretty much every day, even on days I work out), this is a bit of a rude awakening and hard adjustment. According to ChatGPT, this inefficiency comes down to biology and nutrition:

  • Lower Protein Density: Animal proteins (like chicken or beef) deliver about 20-25g of protein in a 100-calorie serving. Beans provide about 6-9g of protein per half-cup (100 calorie) serving. To match a standard 6-oz. chicken breast (50g of protein), you would need to eat nearly three cups of cooked beans; that is bonkers to me.
  • Carbohydrate Overhead: Beans are roughly 70% carbohydrates. Because of this, trying to hit high daily protein targets (e.g. 120 grams!!) solely through beans will likely cause you to exceed your daily caloric or carbohydrate limits.
  • The Fiber Fullness Factor: Beans are loaded with dietary fiber. While great for health, the sheer volume of fiber creates extreme early satiety, making it physically uncomfortable to consume enough beans to reach heavy protein goals.
  • Amino Acid Spikes: Most beans are considered “incomplete” proteins because they are lower in the essential amino acids methionine and cysteine. While your body naturally balances amino acids over the course of the day, some fitness goals require a concentrated spike of all nine essential amino acids at once for optimal muscle synthesis.

So the way to get around this if you want to eat mostly plant-based is to try inserting as many of the small number of complete plant proteins into your diet as possible, which is mostly: SOY, SOY, and SOY. So that means — tofu and all tofu products, like soy milk or tempeh. It could mean incorporating small numbers of oddly complete protein plant foods like quinoa, chia seeds, or hemp seeds, though all are highly caloric, so you have to limit to a tablespoon or less per serving). The good thing is that I am an omnivore, so I will still be eating meat and seafood. But I don’t usually eat those things at breakfast, so animal protein, at most, would be for consideration only for lunch and dinner. Nuts are all great but are incomplete proteins, and like the seeds noted above, are highly caloric and thus should be eaten in smaller quantities (toppers as opposed to the main show – who is going to eat an entire cup or two of nuts in a single sitting?!).

I’m in a period of diet adjustment, and it feels bumpy and funny, and I feel like I am just always chewing food, but I will see what tweaks I can continue to make. As my friend says, this is always a work in progress.

Importance of leucine

Oftentimes when I read about complementing diet with exercise, I’ll be honest and say that I haven’t really thought very deeply about it. I always thought that if I ate mostly whole, home cooked foods, mostly plants with some meat and fish here and there that I’d be fine. But I realize with lean muscle building/fat loss/body recomposition goals that unfortunately, it isn’t that simple. Even when you think you do the right things like eat mostly whole foods, that doesn’tmean anything when it comes to making sure you have the right nutrients to fuel your body with the level of activity you are doing. So while I always exercised relatively rigorously, I also wondered why I was able to get definition pretty easily in my back or legs, but pretty much zero definition in my arms. And I have a feeling it’s because of an imbalance of nutrients (plus… genetics).

As I am reading more about women’s health, I finally started thinking more about leucine. Leucine is an amino acid that your body cannot produce on its own that must be obtained from diet. It acts as a primary “trigger” for muscle protein synthesis, which makes it imperative for muscle repair, growth, and the regulation of blood sugar levels. Overnight your body is fasting, so when you wake up, it’s crucial to have a breakfast high in leucine to give your muscles a signal to start building and repairing tissue. And given I am now in my 40s and will be facing declining estrogen levels, this can accelerate muscle loss, which makes leucine even more important to protect against muscle breakdown. Maintaining muscle becomes even more critical in my 40s to prevent insulin resistance and unwanted weight gain. I wonder why I never really read about this before or was told about leucine before. But that’s why we’re all always learning and evolving!

So now I am consciously eating a breakfast high in protein / leucine (2.5-3 grams) each morning, within one hour of working out. It’s a bit of a struggle since I usually skip breakfast, but I really need to be consistent about increasing protein and making sure I get enough leucine (the easiest places to find this are in whey protein powder, cottage cheese, yogurt, soybeans, beans, and meat products). Breakfast is a pretty simple meal to prepare in advance, so I hope all these efforts I am doing will actually yield some visible results in the next couple months!

An identity crisis at the grocery store

While in the dairy section at Trader Joe’s yesterday, I stood in front of a refrigerated wall of yogurt options, debating what to get. Given my focus on high protein, lean muscle building, and fat loss as of late, I knew I had to (at least temporarily) ignore the European style full-fat yogurt I would normally get in favor of the drained, thicker lower-fat Greek yogurt. But when I looked at the Greek yogurt options, I felt confused: why were all the 1% and 2% fat options so much smaller quantity wise, yet more expensive than the 0% large container (one quart)? And also, where did all those 1-2% fat Greek yogurt options even go? This section of the shelf had been completely wiped out before I even arrived at the store late morning, so even if I had wanted to choose those, they were no longer there for me. So I was left with the 0% fat Greek yogurt option, which was my least desired option (zero percent – what is that – like eating a bunch of nothing favor-wise?!). And since I had made the trek all the way up to 92nd Street, there was no way I wasn’t coming back with Greek yogurt, as it was on top of my ‘to-buy’ list. I felt like I was having an identity crisis: since when did I ever buy nonfat anything — ever? Even before living with Chris, when I lived with my then-roommate and friend, we always bought 1-2% fat milk or yogurt. This felt like a funny thing — me walking around Trader Joe’s with two quarts of zero percent fat Greek yogurt (which also happened to be the very last two quarts of Greek yogurt in the entire store at that time!). Maybe the Yvonne I thought I was will no longer be?

I told my friend about my identity crisis over text when I came back from TJs, and she laughed at me and said that zero percent dairy is basically like eating a thick blob of nothing. Even with her fat loss / lean muscle building goals (and she has always been way more into this than I ever was), she said even she refuses touch that stuff and has to do at least 1 percent fat. Welp, there we have it: even she won’t touch it.

ChatGPT Premium – Therapist, trainer, dietitian, work assistant, everything now

Chris just got us a good deal on ChatGPT Premium, so instead of relying on my free version of Claude AI to answer my life’s deepest and most important questions, I am now deferring to ChatGPT Premium for what is obviously very, very premium answers. So I have a few chats that are completely disorganized and mislabeled in ChatGPT now, but they are mostly following along these themes: family travel/food/itinerary planning, workout regimen design based on my 40s status/perimenopause prep/desire to lose subcutaneous fat/build lean muscle, and a meal planning/prep plan to go with said workout regimen. I also ask ChatGPT questions about things that originally confused me, like why can collagen powder not be considered a “complete protein” that “triggers” the body to realize I want to build lean muscle (UGH, what a bad purchase given my goals). And also, why can’t my old pea protein powder be a “complete protein”? As you can see, “complete proteins” are very much top of mind the last couple months.

And then here and there, I have some work questions, so I have to ask ChatGPT to help me with research, changing my tone in a message, or drafting a message that I really do not want to write myself. So, ChatGPT really has become like my therapist, my work buddy, my trainer, my dietitian — almost my everything now. How can I even live without this thing now?? And just a year ago, I barely even used this thing!

When you get home from a trip, it’s time to properly wash your whites

After a trip, I have always been one of those maniacal people who need to unpack everything right away as soon as I get home. I want all the dirty clothes put in the wash. I want all toiletries put away. I need all souvenirs or edible things separated and stored properly. I also want travel things like travel bag compartments, totes, backpacks, and luggage put away, stat. The idea behind this is that I want to relax as soon as possible and be in a calm state of mind, and I won’t be able to have any of that unless everything dirty gets cleaned, and everything that needs to be put away is put away.

Well, I’ve added one additional thing to my list ever since I decided to start embracing white clothing a year ago: if I bring white clothing with me, I NEED to set aside time to wash them properly. This means whipping out my trusty Jamaican blue soap bar, scrubbing visible stains with the blue soap, soaking in a bucket, rinsing, and then throwing into the washing machine. It’s an additional step, but I am getting a satisfying kick out of this process. It really only applies to several garments of clothing, plus my white slip-on AllBirds, but I always love the feeling of looking at my whites after they’ve come out of the wash and laying them out to air dry and hopefully further be bleached whiter by the sun.

Maybe it’s a sign of getting older that I’ve embraced this little menial and annoying task that I avoided like the plague for so much of my life. I think the last time I intentionally bought a pure white garment was maybe over ten years ago. And before that, it was in college. And I barely wore those pants from over ten years ago because I didn’t understand how to clean it properly then, and I got so mad at how the stains would never come out in the washing machine on their own. Now, I take real ownership of my whites and do my best to keep them super white! I’m sure my former Jamaican nanny would be proud!

Taking advantage of the last several months regularly being downtown

Before I know it, Kaia will be having her preschool graduation in June, and so will begin her very last couple of months going to school in Manhattan Chinatown. August will be the last month she will be in school down there, so that will mark my last month having an excuse to go down to Manhattan Chinatown almost daily. I’d been thinking about this since September when she started Pre-K. So, I made a mental note to myself that every week, as long as I had time, I’d “take advantage” of my time down there and try at least one new business. That could mean a restaurant, takeout spot, bakery, cafe — something that was new for me. I’ve long shared with anyone that while I like where I live, I don’t necessarily love it. The Upper West Side/Hell’s Kitchen are not a top food/eating destination for me at all in New York City — this is obviously my opinion, and I am sure many people will disagree. I would far prefer living further downtown closer to where most of my favorite places are, and where most new fun places open.

My Google Map list is pretty out of control. If you took a look at it for the Lower East Side/Chinatown area, it’s almost covered in green flags for “to try.” So trying new spots is never a challenge; it’s more figuring out which one I feel like trying when. On Wednesday, my friend and I went to 1915 Lanzhou Hand-Pulled Noodle, so that ticked off one box (and I am definitely going back there — the noodles and broth were soooo goooooood). Today, I forgot my water bottle and got thirsty during my walk around SoHo/Chinatown, so I used that as an excuse to finally try Matchaful on Mulberry. There, I had an Indigo Glow matcha, which included four grams of ceremonial grade matcha, taro, maqui berry, maple syrup, and oat milk (very satisfying and not too sweet). And for our usual Friday takeout dinner tonight, I stopped by the very new Grandma’s Dumpling House on Pell, where I picked up two types of dumplings, Chinese chive pockets, and shredded potato salad. Here, the dumplings were filled and cooked to order (so fresh!) and super juicy, and the chive pockets were stuffed to the brim. I rarely see shredded potato salad on any Chinese menu, so I decided to try this out here — it was very refreshing and crunchy, though I would have preferred if it were spiked with freshly ground Sichuanese peppercorn, which I still remember having from a very delicious and authentic Sichuanese restaurant in Framingham, Massachusetts, of all places. The dumpling skins were particularly good — they weren’t too thick at the fold part (which I usually can’t stand), but they also weren’t too thin that they’d break easily.

So many things to eat, and never enough time: ’tis the dilemma of someone with limited time in downtown.

A lot changes in just a few years in the baby gear world

Five years ago when I started researching baby gear and equipment, it seemed that pretty much every single parent, nanny, or caregiver on the Upper West Side was pushing around an Uppababy Vista or Cruz stroller. For about a hot second, I considered the Cruz on a short list… until we tested it out at the Nordstrom flagship (great place to test out strollers!) and immediately had to ex it out because it was far too heavy and bulky, especially considering we’d be going up and down subway stairs, and not every subway station is elevator accessible. Back then, we settled on the Nuna Triv stroller, which was very sturdy, well-built, but still light enough to carry up and down the subway stairs (assuming two people are carrying the darn thing). We were a rarity on the street, though: almost no one else has the Nuna Triv stroller. A few people had the Nuna MIXX, but most people who owned Nuna products had the car seats (which we also had). The most popular travel stroller at the time, which we saw constantly on the streets and at airports, was the Babyzen YoYo. Over the course of three years, we also borrowed a friend’s YoYo since they didn’t use theirs at all while at home given they live in the suburbs.

Well, fast forward to today: very rarely do I see Uppababy Vista or Cruz strollers on the street. In fact, the most common stroller I see now is the next generation Nuna Triv or MIXX, the Bugaboo Butterfly, and several variations of the Cybex or Joolz strollers. Babyzen got bought out by Stokke and I had no idea (this just shows how much older Kaia is now since I no longer pay attention to this stuff!), plus the updates to their latest YoYo model have been poorly reviewed by the current wave of new parents. And the only reason I found this out was due to some light stroller research for a friend, who is about to adopt a 2-year-old child and will need a toddler-friendly stroller.

A lot changes in just a handful of years — it’s actually a little scary how quickly our “knowledge” can become obselete. In another four years, I may not even know any of the latest stroller or car seat brands at all!