Category Archives: Motherhood

Kaia: Always full of questions now

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“MAMA! Did you know that hyenas can eat babies?” Kaia asked as she came running to me this morning while I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom. She had her Lion King book in hand. I believe that was one of the books she read with Chris before bed last night.

“Yes, that’s right, Pooks,” I said to her. “That’s why we never want to get too close to the hyenas!”

“But, but, the big lions will kill them! Mufasa will protect us and kill them!” she exclaimed triumphantly. I’m not sure how much Kaia is aware that her dad is absolutely obsessed with Mufasa and all the power he stands for, but I am sure she will learn in due time.

Kaia is over 4.5 years old now. When I was her age, I still remember occasionally crying myself to sleep, thinking about the terrifying day when my mom would die. While I loved both my parents, I was always closer to my mom. I went to so many funerals by the age of four — more funerals than weddings. So after each funeral, I would ask my mom about what happened. She told me that no one lives forever, that everyone has to die. And I asked her, does this mean you will die, too? And she said, yes, everyone including me. And that made me so, so sad, and I had no idea how soon that day would come. Because as she explained to me then, none of us really know when we will die. I kept wondering, how could I possibly live without my mommy?

Kaia has actually been asking about death lately. I tell her what a lucky life we live, how lucky she is, and how very, very lucky she is to have two sets of living grandparents. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a Suma, Topa, Popo, AND Gonggong! And then she says, where are your Sumi and Topi and Popo and Gonggong? And I explain to her that I actually never met my Yeye (Topa), Popo, or Gonggong. I only ever met my Nainai (Suma). The other three passed away before I was born. She asks what that means. I tell her that passing away means that you are no longer living like she and I are; they are no longer of this world, and we will never see them again in this life.

Then she asks, where is your Nainai? And I said, she passed away, too. She does her usual Kaia-esque side head tilt and looks up, thinking.

“She isn’t in this world anymore?” Kaia looks at me with her thinking face. “So we can’t see her now?”

“Yes,” I say lightly. “That is right.”

I’ve also tried to tell her about Ed. She knows who her Jiujiu is and can point him out in many photos. I tell her that he has also passed away, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still out there in a different world, watching over us.

“Do you know that Jiujiu loves you?” I asked her. “He might not be here on earth anymore, but he loves you and watches over us.”

She looks up at me, smiles, and vigorously nods her head.

I wonder if she feels a connection to this person, this Jiujiu, who she has never met before. He is a person I reference in photos and speech quite a bit, but one of very few people she has never, and will never, meet. Little does she know that she shares the same nose as her Jiujiu. He is within her.

Parent buddy play date

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Once we accepted the offer for Kaia’s new school, we got paired up with another family who also has a child who will be entering kindergarten, the same class as Kaia. The couple reached out to us, and we set up a Whatsapp group and a play date at a nearby playground to meet today. The couple also invited a few other families and their kids to the playground so not only could all the kids play together, but Chris and I could also meet the parents.

On my calendar, I allocated about 1.5 hours for the meetup/play date. But we ended up going for close to three hours. It was a pretty good time — the parents all seemed like kind, friendly, genuine people. We were all united in our mission to ensure not only rigorous academics for our children, but also true Chinese language immersion. Though the school does have a Spanish track, none of those families were at this organized play date.

Once we got back home, Chris said to me, “See, you finally got what you wanted: a parent community. It’s just going to cost us over $50,000 a year!”

Yeah, well…

Playing games with Kaia

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Growing up, the only person I ever regularly played games with at home was Ed. Occasionally my much older cousins who lived upstairs would play with me, but that would be quite limited. Ed taught me (okay, attempted to teach me in some cases) how to do things like play basic card games, checkers, board games, throw and catch, dribble a basketball (okay, so I never got the last one between the legs, but it is what it is…). Our parents never played any games with us. My mom was always busy cooking, cleaning, doing some kind of housework, or was just simply too tired and wanted to lie down and rest. My dad… who knows where he was. He was either working at an apartment or just avoiding us kids.

I never realized that parents actually played games with their kids until one day years ago, Chris’s dad mentioned being on a family holiday and playing card games with Chris and his brother. And I sat there in total shock, thinking… Wait, you played with your two sons? Really? I am not even sure why that shocked me so much, but it was the very first time I actually thought about parents and their children engaging in play together. I knew I wanted to be the kind of parent who plays with her child.

Since Kaia was born, we’ve done all kinds of “play” together. We’ve played with cars, trucks, and transformers. We’ve played play cooking and baking. We’ve built blocks. We’ve played catch and kicked a ball together. She has many other toys that we’ve played with together. But in just the last couple weeks, we’ve all started playing a memory game that was gifted from a friend. The memory game is quite age appropriate given Kaia is now 4.5. Kaia’s memory is very good — despite being new to the game and having played only two or three times, she’s done far better than I could have imagined!

I love seeing her engage in play, and I love that Chris and I can play together with her. It’s the kind of thing I always wanted for my little family — to be engaged in a fun activity, real play — together, and to have that be a way we can bond.

When a fancy cake store opens along the way home, and someone doesn’t get the cake she wants

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A new location of Lady M Cake Boutique has opened just a block away from where we live, and it’s along our walk back home from the subway. As we anticipated the cake shop opening for a while, Kaia kept asking when they would open so we could go in and have some cake. I told her that when they opened, I would take her and we could get some cake.

Well, the day finally came the week before we left for our Caribbean trip. I did stay true to my word, and we did end up going in. Kaia chose a slice she wanted, and we left with a very expensive slice of cake. Unfortunately, she never ended up having cake that evening because she was already full from dinner, so Chris and I ended up having to eat the cake ourselves. She remembered she never got any cake. So for the last two days when we pass this cake shop, she has raised hell with me and tantrummed like there’s no tomorrow to try to get her way.

And… well, it’s been pretty miserable for me. She knows I am softer than Chris, which is why she always asks me for these types of treats and not him. And she also lashes out a lot more when I say no.

“I WANT CAKE! YOU WILL BUY ME CAKE!” she screamed twice this week on the sidewalk as I nearly had to drag her along the way home.

I probably need to have a long chat with ChatGPT to see how I can calm a screaming 4-year-old down when she doesn’t get what she wants because my patience is really wearing with all these public outbursts. I’m *that* mother trying to control her child, who apparently thinks she can have whatever she wants when she wants it.

Reflecting on kids clubs at hotels

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The first time I encountered and looked at a kids club was when we stayed at a hotel property in Cancun over an extended Memorial Day weekend in 2023. Kaia was just shy of 1.5 years old then, and it was the first time I ever thought about childcare at a hotel. There is usually a minimum age for kids clubs (age 3 or 4) at hotels that offer them, but I remember wondering if we’d ever use one for Kaia, even if just for an hour or so at some point.

The opportunity presented itself twice at two all-inclusive hotels we stayed at — the first was in Barbados, and the second in Grenada. At both properties on the day I took Kaia in, no other children were there. In Barbados at a sister all-inclusive resort we hung out at for a full day, Kaia refused to let me leave her there, so we ended up playing together while I spoke with the childcare provider. There, she made a little bracelet complete with two “very special” charms that Jengsel, the childcare provider, presented to her: one was a silver seashell, and the second was a little crystal heart with a pink heart inside. Of course, Kaia loved both because she loves shells, hearts, AND the color pink. So she savored this bracelet and kept talking about it.

At the Grenada resort, I actually did bring Kaia there twice on two separate days for about 2-3 hours at a time. There, she was completely comfortable being on her own with the childcare providers. The first childcare provider, Shenique, was the kind of babysitter most parents would dream about: she was extremely hands on, had lots of conversations with Kaia, did multiple activities with her, and gave very frequent Whatsapp reports back to me, complete with photos and videos showing what Kaia was up to. With Shenique, Kaia made another bracelet, one that truly looked like it could have been made professionally and purchased at a boutique. It has beautiful turquoise and orange stone-like beads with silver accents. Kaia loves both and keeps talking about her bracelets from Barbados and Trinidad. And she still mentions Shenique’s name despite their limited time together.

Now that Kaia is older and more verbal, she can always share what she does and what happens with us, so there’s not as big of a mystery of what goes on with babysitters or at kids clubs like this. She genuinely enjoyed her time there, which made me feel good. I was also happy to have the chance to take advantage of “free” babysitting (I mean, is it really “free” if you are paying all-inclusive rates…), even if it was just a couple three-hour bursts. It was a very positive sign to hear that she wanted to go back the second time in Grenada, that this showed what a good time she had and how much she liked the childcare providers. As another childcare provider said at this kids club, “In Grenada, we take good care of our babies here! We love them all!”

Eating out while in the Caribbean – so many fresh vegetables!

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While we stayed at four different hotels across four different island countries in the Caribbean, and two of the hotels were all-inclusive, I felt like from a vegetable-eating standpoint that this was likely the best trip we’ve had to date for vegetable access. Since we were out and about in Barbados and Grenada where we stayed at all-inclusive properties, we still managed to have some meals out while on the go. In the all-inclusive buffets, it was easy to get vegetables. At the restaurants om property, getting vegetables was straightforward. And with most dining options we had, vegetables were quite ubiquitous. This is always what I’ve enjoyed about dining out while outside of the U.S.: it never feels like vegetables are add-on sides that are terrible value. I guess there are some exceptions to this (while in Taiwan, I do not recall eating many vegetables to be honest; street food in Taiwan is not very vegetable forward!). Vegetables are usually included as side dishes you order. Sometimes, the vegetable options are fixed. Sometimes, the vegetable options are what you choose. And other times, the vegetables are half fixed, half chosen by you. While you may order ginger pork or grilled fish as we did during our one lunch out in Grenada, those mains came with several vegetable options, like stewed pumpkin or callaloo (like Caribbean spinach), bok choy, coleslaw, or taro/sweet potato. I really enjoyed eating all the different vegetables we had across the Caribbean and seeing different preparation methods. Before this trip, I also had no idea how popular sweet potato and pumpkin in general are across these countries. I knew callaloo, taro, and spinach were popular. Potato and coleslaw seemed like predictable dishes to have on menus. But the pumpkin being everywhere was a surprise to me, especially since I consider it a fall/autumn vegetable. So, I’ve definitely learned a lot about Caribbean food culture in the last two weeks.

Whenever we’ve come back from trips where we haven’t eaten too many vegetables, it’s like Kaia just knows that she misses her vegetables and especially her Asian greens, so she physically will stuff her mouth with the greens after I’ve plopped them onto her plate. This is a pattern she’s exhibited since she was very young. But this time after coming home from a trip, she wasn’t really vegetable deprived. I think she had a good share of vegetables across the last two weeks away. Yet still, she quickly gobbled up her roasted bell peppers and blanched bok choy at dinner.

I think the U.S. could learn a lot from other countries around the world about a lot of things. But specifically from these four Caribbean nations, the U.S. can learn to stop having menus with mains that are just a single thing (e.g. pasta, steak, a quarter of a roasted chicken) without also including vegetable sides — and have that be included in the freaking price. Stop up-charging for vegetables and just have them built into the main price!

A connecting flight went awry from MIA to JFK

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From Port of Spain, we flew to Miami for our connecting flight back to New York. In Miami, we cleared immigration, gathered our checked bags, re-submitted our checked bags, and went through security. The line was actually much quieter than we had anticipated, likely because we were there on the 4th of July. So while it was annoying to have to clear immigration and get and re-check our bags, at least we knew we wouldn’t have to do this again once we reached New York.

The connecting flight from MIA to JFK was smooth… or at least, it was smooth until we were circling New York, and then the pilot announced that due to inclement weather (WHAT WEATHER?), no planes were allowed to land at JFK, and instead of circling the airport to wait on landing clearance, they were going to fly us straight back to Miami!

When I first heard the pilot say this, my first (usual) thought was, “Is this some crazy joke?!” But of course, it wasn’t. We were seriously going to fly all the way back to Miami and wait to see when the “weather concerns” cleared up so that planes could land.

This could have ended really badly; I had worst case scenarios circling in my head about what I’d have to do for work and when. We could have never even made it to New York on Sunday or even Monday depending on the weather/airport/landing situation. But luckily for us, while we were still in the air going back to Miami, the pilot announced that we could go back and land. So the plan was to land the plane, re-fuel, inspect the plane, and then immediately fly back. The flight crew would remain in tact, as their day started with us, so there was no concern about timing out. If we chose to get off the plane, we’d have to take all our belongings and get off, and would not be allowed to re-board and take this flight back to New York.

We were schedule to land just before 1am on the 5th of July. In the end, we flew to New York, turned around to fly back to Miami. We stayed in Miami for about 30 minutes before getting back into the air and flying back to JFK (Chris noted that this in-air time already exceeded our flight from Trinidad to Miami!). We landed just after 5:30am. So yes, while we were delayed 5.5 hours, this easily could have been so, so much worse. Chris and I didn’t sleep at all; Kaia slept, but her slumber was obviously disrupted.

We got back home, unpacked, and did three loads of laundry. We tried to sleep, but Kaia made it a bit challenging (“WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING! I don’t want you to to sleep! I want you to take me out to blow bubbles!” — says the person who actually slept in flight…). I did sleep for about an hour. I took Kaia out for bubbles and playground time (it was deserted; what a quiet time to be in the city!). I made a full home-cooked meal for us — niku udon loaded with veggies and roasted broccoli with shio kombu. I also steamed banh chung from the freezer and roasted red bell peppers. I started food prep for tomorrow by soaking two types of beans, brown rice, and quinoa. Although we’ve had an amazing time being away the last two weeks, I will say that I was happy to be back in my own bed tonight, and happy to be back in my kitchen.

Day trip via ferry to Tobago; reflecting on cultural differences with respect to “dinner”

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We woke up at 4am to catch a 6:30am ferry from Trinidad to Tobago today. The ferry ride is approximately three hours, and with a scheduled 4pm ferry ride back to Trinidad, we really only had about 4.5 hours on the quiet island of Tobago before going back. Chris figured that since we were already in this part of the world that we might as well just go since we were already here. Unfortunately for Chris, no Marriott hotels are currently on Tobago, as the hotels I could see during our time there and on the map all look to be local/independent places. Despite our time being short there, it was nice to have some beach time at the beach there, with its teeny tiny waves, extremely clear, turquoise waters, and tiny little silver fish swimming around at less than waist-level deep water. We decided to base ourselves at Store Bay Beach rather than Pigeon Point Heritage Park because we wanted more local food with a local feel. Store Bay has a a cluster of tiny buildings selling full meals, juices, snacks, ice cream, and clothing, whereas Pigeon Point, which requires an entry fee, is more resort-like and manicured as such. At Store Bay, we sat down and ate a small meal of blue crab curry and dumplings with provisions and some fried shark. The blue crabs were predictably teeny tiny and very not satisfying given it was so much work to get the little meat, but it was still fun to have the experience of eating the local dish here that Tobago is known for.

While on the beach, we paid a local vendor for some lounging chairs and an umbrella. The vendor was so nice that he took a quick drive back to his house and picked us some chenet fruit, also known to us as mamoncillo that we had while in Colombia and El Salvador. These were by far the sweetest of the three times we’ve enjoyed this tropical fruit; both other times, it was more sour-sweet. These were so sweet that they were like fruit candy! This time, Kaia was old enough to handle sucking around the big round gum-ball like pit (major potential choking hazard for littles!), and she got to try one. She didn’t seem to enjoy it too much, though; I think she thought it was too much sucking for very little reward… which is kind of true with this fruit, especially since you have to pick the thin skin off it before sucking the gelatinous pink flesh off the pit.

We arrived back in Port of Spain just after 7pm, and I was going through my list of restaurants on my map when I realized that pretty much none of them served dinner; every place I bookmarked was for breakfast or lunch. And then it dawned on me that Trinidad likely doesn’t really have much “going out” dinner culture, as most of the iconic Trini foods are daytime foods, like doubles, roti, bake, aloo pie, roti shop curries, macaroni pie. Doubles is usually a breakfast/early day food, but as we saw our first full day, it can also appear later at night after partying, when people set up their trucks and sell it on the street. There was one Trini fusion dinner place that Claude recommended when I was doing research, but unfortunately that place has since closed down. So we figured that in Trini culture, “sit down restaurant dinners” aren’t really a thing. It’s an interesting thing to think about when traveling — the cultural differences across the world with dining practices and times. In Trinidad, a sit-down dinner in general isn’t really part of the social rhythm. But then if you are in places like Argentina, Chile, or Spain, an 8pm dinner is considered too early, and some places may not even be open for food!

When there are restaurants open in Port of Spain, they tend to skew more “restaurant/bar” rather than traditional Trini. Or, they are not Trini restaurants. So it’s common to see French, Italian, Japanese, or Chinese restaurants open for dinner. But if a restaurant has Trini food, it’s usually just part of the menu (that is quite eclectic with other options like wings, tacos, etc.), and also has a big bar scene. So we ended up back on Ariapita Avenue and chose a casual bar-type spot called Wing It, where we had some grilled fish and jerk chicken alongside some drinks. It was quite loud and boisterous in there, with a World Cup match on the big TVs and lots of loud soca music. This was Kaia’s first “night out” on the town — at age 4.5! She seemed to love the vibe overall despite it being quite loud for her little ears.

And just like that, our Caribbean island hopping trip is coming to an end. I can’t remember ever having this much tropical fruit, crazy mango variety, sun, and beach time in a single trip before this! I could get used to this!

Trini mango varieties at a wholesale market and the most delicious “buss up shut” roti of my life in Port of Spain

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After chatting with our smoothie guy about Central Market and Chinatown as being the best places to get local fruit, we made our way to Central Market this morning. It’s a wholesale market that runs late at night, with peak times being around 11pm, then again at around 4am. These are not times I would ever be at any market, so when we went this late morning, it unfortunately was not surprising to see that a lot of vendors were sold out or already gone for the day. However, we did find vendors selling some mango varieties that we had not tried yet, and did not even know about. We sought out and got five starch mangoes for $20TTD, and we also picked up some mango vert (vert means “green” in French, but these are actually yellowish green). The teeny tiny mangoes that were next to the mango vert were “dodo” mangoes, named because of how small they are; four can comfortably sit in the palm of your hand! They are very sugary sweet mangoes that are considered “snacking mangoes” here given their size. Each mango can yield about four small bites before you hit the pit. Of all the mango varieties, this was likely the most one-dimensional tasting one — just straight forward sweet with zero complexity. I would not get those again.

And where there is a wholesale market, there must be ready made/made to order food. So we popped into the indoor area where vendors had different stalls. Most were closed, but a couple were open, including one that had a promising “fish broth” sign. Given fish is part of the market, we thought this could be really good. The older lady operating it said she’d add a fish steak to my soup, so she asked me to give her some time. When she presented the massive bowl with the fish steak on top, I couldn’t believe how massive it was. Good thing this was going to be shared among three of us! The vendor called the fish salmon, but it actually wasn’t salmon: it was a white sea trout. In Trinidad, as I later learned, people refer to sea trout as salmon, but I’m unclear why. It was very flaky, meaty, and lean. The fish broth was really rich, likely made with endless fish bones!

Our next stop was at Dobson’s Roti Shop, which is a popular institution amongst locals and tourists alike in Port of Spain. Our driver for the Caroni Bird Sanctuary told us it was her favorite roti shop. So while you may be familiar with Indian roti, Trinidadian roti is slightly different. Trini roti is also referred to as “buss up shut” roti, derived from their accent when they say “busted up shirt” (this really makes me chuckle), a paratha that is super soft, flaky, and endlessly layered. The name is perfect to describe its appearance because while cooking the roti on the tawa, it is “crushed” and beaten a few times with metal spoons/spatulas to separate its delicate layers. So in the end, it really does resemble a “busted up” shirt! This roti was originally brought to the Caribbean by East Indian indentured laborers, and is known as one of the THE foods representing the multi-ethnic culture of Trinidad and Tobago. Like in India, this roti is used as an edible utensil to sop up gravies, stews, and curries.

We got to the roti shop just ahead of prime lunch hour, so we ordered a beef curry roti with no line. The roti came hot and steaming, wrapped in foil, alongside a big styrofoam takeout container which included a huge portion of curry beef, mashed spiced savory pumpkin, chickpea curry, and a very thick mango chutney, complete with its skins and all. When I unwrapped the roti, I knew it was going to be good: it was this HUGE piece of paratha, with layers that basically draped and fell all over the place. Kaia was obsessed and kept reaching for more roti between bites of beef and channa. I’m honestly not sure what I liked more: the doubles from the previous night or this insanely delicious roti! Roti was definitely meant to be taken away or eaten on the go, as we had the only two seats at the one tiny table in the front. But we were thrilled to see they had a tiny little sink with soap for us; roti is meant to be eaten with your hands – definitely not a fork and knife situation!

After lunch, we stopped at a nearby shop for some ice cream and got soursop and peanut flavor. Peanut flavored things are huge here: you can see lots of shops selling chocolate candy bars with whole peanuts, peanut punch (peanut butter, whey protein, milk, and sugar!), and peanut desserts like this one. Of course, soursop is huge here. The soursop ice cream was very good — the cream and sugar rounded out some of the “oil spill” flavor I tend to get when I have soursop straight as a fruit, which makes me a bit wary of having it as fresh fruit. Since soursop has a high concentration of natural sugars, when the fruit becomes overripe or sits too long at room temperature, wild yeasts on the skin can break down these sugars. This process produces ethanol and other alcohol byproducts. So, in concentrated amounts, this chemical fermentation smells and tastes intensely sharp, similar to turpentine, gasoline, or nail polish remover. This is the flavor I unfortunately get frequently when trying fresh soursop fruit!

We have to wake up for a 6:30am ferry to go to Tobago on a day trip tomorrow, so our dinner tonight ended up just being a bunch of the mangoes we got at the market, along with the cutlass mangoes gifted to us. Kaia loved the mango vert and the starch. “I WANT VERT! I WANT VERT!” she kept yelling. I love seeing her get into all the Caribbean mangoes here, especially after she refused to try a single mango variety our entire time in India together just three years ago. It was a very delicious day in Port of Spain, for sure.

Last stop on our Caribbean island-hopping summer trip: Trinidad & Tobago

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Before this trip, I knew very little about Trinidad & Tobago. In the pandemic year of 2020, Chris and I started exploring more neighborhoods across the five boroughs of New York City. Since we were blocked from traveling internationally, we figured that given the unique diversity of our city of residence, we could go to different neighborhoods and still get exposed to different cultures; that would be our “international travel” within our own city. During that year, we visited a Trinidadian roti shop in Crown Heights, and my eating life changed forever: I had one taste of doubles, a beloved street food of Trinidad and Tobago, and it was like love at first bite. Doubles are two small, quickly fried little chewy flatbreads (baras) served with a hearty, savory, spiced filling of curried chickpeas (channa), oftentimes topped with different types of chutneys and a hot pepper sauce. Sometimes, shops give the option of adding different curried meats, like chicken, beef, or goat, to your doubles for an extra charge. The filling is wrapped with two little baras (hence the name “doubles), and you eat it like a mini sandwich/tiny burrito. They are usually filled to order, then wrapped and twisted up with a piece of paper and handed over to you; they are best eaten AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. At that point in time, of course I’d eaten lots of different Indian foods, but this curried chickpea mix, coupled with the two little fluffy baras, was just different to me, and I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. The spice blend of the channa was not the same as what I’d had before. The chewiness and pillowy texture of the bara was incredibly addictive. And from that one experience, I knew if given the option, I could eat doubles every single day and be happy!

The second exposure I got to “Trini” culture was via my two night nurses. I got a reference through a parents group for my first night nurse, Cheryl, who happened to be Trinidadian. Since she spent a lot of time at our place, we talked a lot about how she grew up, her culture, and food. She talked a lot about the Indian influence on Trini culture and cuisine. She also told us about areas of Queens and Brooklyn to check out for Trini food and shops. Once, Cheryl brought us a bag of pickled, spiced pommecythere, also known as June plum or golden apple. I remember it being a really addictive combination of sweet, sour, salty, and a little spicy; the crunch was also delicious! She also told us about the whole network of Trini night nurses across the U.S. and how interconnected they are. When her time was up with us, she introduced us to a second Trini night nurse, who may have taken even better care of Kaia than she did!

So the little I was exposed to Trini culture before this trip was enough to get me to this presumption: I knew of the four islands we’d visit — Barbados, St. Lucia, Grenada, and Trinidad & Tobago, that T&T would very likely be my most favorite place to eat on this trip. And after just a day here, I am willing to bet that assumption will not be wrong!

I guess when I think of Trinidad & Tobago, I think more about Trinidad than I do of Tobago, which is not entirely my own fault. Trinidad & Tobago as a single country has two names because it was formed by joining two completely separate islands. Trinidad is the larger, main island (hence why I always think about its culture and influence first). Even though it’s a Caribbean island, Trinidad feels more urban, multicultural, diverse, and commercial. Tobago is the smaller island that was, at least historically, economically weaker, but more village-centered, tied to fishing, folk traditions, harvest festivals, and a slower-paced island identity. Tobago has a more rural, Afro-Caribbean vibe.

This is a pretty good quick outline I found of the ethnic and religious diversity of Trinidad and Tobago, one of the Caribbean’s most culturally mixed islands: Its culture blends:

African heritage from slavery and emancipation, visible in Carnival, calypso, steelpan, stickfighting, Spiritual Baptist traditions, drumming, and foodways.

Indian heritage from indentureship, visible in roti, doubles, curry, choka, tassa, chutney, Hindu and Muslim festivals, and family/community traditions.

European colonial influences, especially Spanish, British, and French Creole, visible in place names, Catholic traditions, architecture, Carnival history, and social structures.

Chinese, Syrian/Lebanese, Portuguese, and Venezuelan/Latin American influences also shaped food, commerce, music, and migration patterns.

If you have that many cultures in a single place, the food is destined to be good.

For our meals thus far, for lunch today we ate at an open-air food center along Ariapita Avenue, a main drag for restaurants, bars, and nightlife. We had a steamed kingfish plate, a garlic shrimp plate, and all came with a mix of vegetables, coleslaw, coconut rice, and mashed potato. The garlic shrimp was perfectly cooked (Kaia was obsessed with it!), and the kingfish was well seasoned and had a little bit of house made green pepper sauce that had a fruity forward flavor with a tiny, tingly burn at the end.

Today, we did a sunset tour of Caroni Bird Sanctuary, which is supposed to be the number one tourist experience here in Trinidad. On our boat that went through swamps and marshes, we were able to see a snake, anteater, and some other indigenous animals in their sleepy state. And for the main highlight, we saw countless North American flamingos (“Americans!” Chris grumbled) as well as the national bird of Trinidad and Tobago: the scarlet ibis, hoards of them all flying high in the air and settling upon a specific little island in the marshes. The scarlet ibis is a huge bird with a large wingspan, long neck, and a nearly fluorescent, bright orangish-red hue. Originally, Chris was not very enthused at the idea of going on a bird watching boat tour (“What is this? Some overpriced tourist trap where I have to see a bunch of birds I don’t care about instead of actually getting to eat them?!)” But when he finally caved in and booked the tour for us (THIS MORNING for this late afternoon!) and we went out on the 2.5-hour boat tour, he actually seemed to enjoy it. He marveled at the dozens of flamingos we saw in their natural habitat, saying that this was, “like something you’d see on the Discovery Channel” but instead we were seeing it ourselves in real life. And he even seemed to get excited when he saw his first red ibises flying high in the air. Who would have thought that my very own Chris could have his own “birding” moments?

I thought Kaia would enjoy the boat tour more, but she actually got bored after a while and kept asking when we were going to go back. She was likely getting hungry and tired, as the boat tour ended at 6:30, and on her usual schedule, she would have eaten by this time. While she did enjoy seeing the many flamingos and scarlet ibises, as well as the catfish in the water, we couldn’t hold her attention span the full 2.5 hours. We had many moments of moaning, whining, and crying. I guess she really is a 4.5-year-old after all…

Our tour included pickup and drop-off, so we asked our driver to take us back to Ariapita Avenue, the main food and bar drag, so we could grab a quick bite before heading back to the hotel. While on the avenue, she pointed out a doubles truck parked and set up with a small line forming and asked if we’d be interested in stopping there. I saw the doubles sign, the truck setup, and the little crowd forming, and I knew this was exactly what we wanted… and needed! So we got out and ordered four “regular” doubles (channa/chickpeas), two chicken, and two goat (the last two with pepper sauce). The total for eight doubles was only 70 TTD, about $10.32 USD — a bargain for our takeout dinner for three! We picked up some drinks from a little market and headed back to the hotel to eat. And this dinner was what dreams are made of: everything was just as good, if not better, than the doubles we’d had in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. The paras were fluffy, pillowy, and addictive. The channa was spiced and super savory. The goat and chicken were tender, well seasoned, and had a nice little kick with the pepper sauce. This was the best first dinner in Trinidad!

And for our dessert, we washed and cut cutlass mangoes, a local variety of mango, that we got along Ariapita Avenue this morning — for free! A really warm, friendly man who owns a smoothie shop saw us admiring the hanging fruit in front of his shop, and so he took a red-netted bag of five cutlass mangoes and just handed them to us as a gift, and thanked us for visiting his country! We ended up sitting on his little deck for a while, chatting with him, and bought a smoothie he made for us to order — cutlass mangoes, watermelon, and dragonfruit. Kaia loved the fact that both of us were distracted chatting with the owner, so she likely got more sips of this smoothie than any other fresh juice/smoothie we’ve ever ordered! She kept chuckling her little cheeky laugh when she knows she’s doing something she’s not really supposed to…

As for the cutlass mango, a variety we’d never heard of before, it is a long, flat, fiberless mango that originates from Trinidad and Tobago. It is distinctive in appearance because it is curved with two pointy tips. The three we cut were perfectly ripe: sweet, tropical, a tiny bit tart, and extremely juicy. I squirted juice in few directions just cutting into these mangoes! The flesh is fiberless, smooth, and almost melts in your mouth. On this trip, this is now the FIFTH mango variety we’ve tried!

The kindness and hospitality we’ve experienced during our short time in Port of Spain have really exceeded any expectations I may have had. The smoothie guy was extremely warm and generous — we got FIVE free mangoes because of him — all because we told him we love mangoes and trying new ones. A ride-app driver who took us to a coffee shop this morning couldn’t find the Michi Coffee Shop where he was supposed to drop us off, so he not only wouldn’t let us get out of the car until he was certain we knew were going, but he even called his coffee loving sister to make sure this area really had a coffee shop around it (to his credit, the coffee shop was a little weird and hidden, as it was in the midst of insurance, furniture, and car repair stores). The lunch spot at the food center had a server who proactively gave me tips about food and local juices since I asked about fruit. And our driver to and from the bird sanctuary gave us tips about local food spots we should check out.

This segment of our Caribbean trip has felt the most interactive with local people and day to day life, as I imagined it would be. But it’s been even better and more enjoyable and fun than I had hoped!