Last night, I found out that one of the comedians that highlighted my youth committed suicide. Robin Williams, the voice of the Genie in Aladdin, the main lead in Mrs. Doubtfire, which Ed and I watched together, has died via asphyxiation in his Tiburon home. I’m deeply saddened by this news, and particularly because his death was of his own means. It’s another life taken by suicide, by a deep depression that failed to be fully recognized and treated by our society.

I actually met Robin Williams in Japantown in San Francisco during my middle school days. I was with a few of my friends during a school holiday, and we saw him at a store in the shopping center. My friend’s little sister was so excited and asked for his autograph, and he seemed genuinely happy and eager to give his autograph and chat with us even though he was in the company of who I think was his mother. A lot of celebrities would not have been this warm and kind.

I wonder what Ed would have thought to have heard that Robin Williams committed suicide. I’m sure he would have been shocked, but unfortunately, he isn’t here today to hear the news. Instead, Robin Williams is joining him in heaven somewhere up there. I hope he is cracking jokes and making my brother laugh now. Maybe they are even cracking jokes about the fact that Ed took his own life before Robin did, as dark as that may sound.

Tonight, we had my best friend and her boyfriend come over for dinner, and after enjoying the Turkish feast I cooked up (and the many cocktails and whiskey pours that Chris gave everyone), we decided to head out at 2am for some late night karaoke a few blocks away. We were all at varying stages of drunkenness, so this sounded like a good idea.

When we got there, Chris and Crista picked Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s “One Sweet Day,” and after singing it on stage with Crista, I would end up crying. The bar was actually fairly empty so it wasn’t like everyone was staring at me, but it still felt miserable to be drunk, crying, and remembering Ed.

When the Daydream album came out in 1995, it actually coincided with the death of my grandmother. Ed and I would play “One Sweet Day” a lot at that time. It was one of our favorite songs on that album. That song used to remind me of my grandmother’s death, and tonight, after not hearing it played for so many years, it reminded me of Ed’s death. I had forgotten the lyrics, but as the music went on, I remembered every word. The lyrics discuss taking for granted your lost loved one. I think in a lot of ways, I’m sure I took Ed for granted, and it made me feel even worse.

There’s nothing that can be done about that now, but I agree with the song. One sweet day, we will see each other again. The sad thing, though, is that until then, I will occasionally be reminded of the pain of losing him and probably end up crying here and there, and not always at the most obvious moments.

I barely spent 24 hours in Fort Lauderdale for this work trip, yet somehow, the monstrous mosquitoes there were able to find me and give me bites in four different spots of my body, three of which were fully covered by pants and a long-sleeved shirt for my work meeting. All of these bites happened during one short walk from the hotel to our rental car. The one on my elbow has swelled up and is over four inches in diameter. How does this always seem to happen to me?

I am a mosquito magnet. I don’t know what I’ve done to attract them, but somehow, no matter where I go, I am their sweet target.

In the last four months, I’ve somehow managed to identify two new sensitive spots on the inner sides of my molars. Any time anything very cold touches them, it’s like electricity flying because of my nerve endings being hit. It’s been making it difficult for me to eat cold things, so I started using Pronamel sensitive teeth toothpaste and have been eating cold things very slowly and deliberately. I usually try to chew on the front side of my mouth, away from the back where the sensitive spots are, and then I swallow.

This makes me sound old and pathetic. I haven’t even reached 30 yet and my teeth are already bothering me. The most frustrating part about all this is that I’m so good to my teeth; I haven’t had a cavity since I was under the age of 10, I brush my teeth twice a day and floss every night, and I even wear my retainer and mouth guard each night to Chris’s absolute disgust. I’m sure that despite wearing my mouth guard that my jaw still clenches at night. I guess there’s nothing I can do about that, sadly. I just don’t know what else there is to do to prevent any more sensitive spots from cropping up.

It’s these moments when sometimes, I think it may be easier to just have all false teeth. Then, there would be no nerve endings at the end of the teeth to sting my mouth.