Monthly Archives: October 2026

Sub Rosa Bakery en route to the airport

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As soon as I learned I was going to Richmond, Virginia, for a work trip, I immediately looked up Sub Rosa Bakery to see if I could do a pre-order to pick up en route back to the airport on my last day. During our Labor Day long weekend trip back in September 2023, Chris tried to take us here, but we failed: the line was just way, way too long. And to be frank, it seemed a little crazy to come from New York City to a much smaller city like Richmond and wait in line for bread and pastries! But Sub Rosa is a special place: they have their own stone mill in-house to freshly mill their grains into flour right before baking. They have a wood-fired masonry oven like the old-school ones in Europe, so the flavor is a lot different: it’s supposed to yield a different texture and flavor than most commercial bakery ovens. And all of their breads (except the ciabatta) are naturally leavened — real sourdough! And for some specialty, seasonal items, they make their own cheeses from scratch. The owners are a brother-and-sister-baking duo with Turkish roots, and you can definitely see the Turkish influence on the menu.

I made a mental note to place my pre-order two days before the pickup date. I set it for about three hours ahead of my flight so I’d have ample time to pick up. I stopped by Union Market a few blocks down for a cold brew coffee and yogurt for breakfast, plus a breakfast burrito to eat at the airport for lunch. Then, I walked over to Sub Rosa, bypassed the tiny line of four people, and headed straight to the back shelves to pick up my super big bag of goodies! I pre-ordered the sesame light rye sourdough loaf, the rosemary sea salt pide flatbread, a sour cherry pistachio croissant, a mini quiche (had a quiche craving!), and the beef borek. When I took the bag to the outside tables to inspect my goods, I counted and realized that they had thrown in an extra pistachio croissant on the house for me; I LOVED this place already, and I haven’t even had a single bite of anything yet!

I got upgraded on my flight back, so I wasn’t that worried about having this big brown bag with me. But when the first class flight attendant saw my bag of goods, she asked me if I’d like to store it in her flight attendant closet at the front. Of course, I said yes, and then we chatted about Sub Rosa. Since she makes frequent overnight stops in Richmond, I told her she had to go! She wrote it down and promised to go next time. And she wasn’t even the first person who asked me about my bag of goodies: when I went through TSA, one of the security people peered into my bag and asked where the pastries were from. I told him they were from Sub Rosa and were going back to New York City with me. He immediately grinned and told me they were worth bringing back because Sub Rosa is amazing!

Upon coming back, I sliced my bread loaves and took a bite of the sesame light rye sourdough: so good, so sour, amazing spongy texture. The pistachio sour cherry croissant was good, but to be honest, not as “wow” as the Radio Bakery croissants here. And the beef borek was flaky, savory perfection. This was the best thing to come out of this Richmond work trip, hands down!

Traveling for team building

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I’ve been in Richmond, Virginia, for the last two days, for some internal work travel. The purpose of the trip was framed as “team building,” as two companies merged together. Lots of changes have been happening internally that have been confusing, frustrating, and ill planned and communicated. We also semi recently had a layoff. So needless to say, morale hasn’t been great, so this trip was meant to help with that and help build culture and a sense of “togetherness.”

On Tuesday, we met up at a co-working space in downtown Richmond, where we had a conference room booked for two hours. We spent no more than ten minutes on this central “team building” activity, where we had to piece together a Lego building just so. Then, we spent the next hour and ten minutes, voicing our complaints, in a very structured and subtly coded way, about everything that was wrong with our roles, our team, cross-functional team collaboration, our management, and the company/product. After that was done, we were “released” and told to get ready to go bowling. We went to neighborhood bowling alley, ate some pizza, wings, and fried buffalo cauliflower. A lot of my colleagues had way too much to drink. As for me, I left at around 9:15 and was sleeping by 10:30, as I was still set on hitting the gym this morning, which I did!

As my friend who works in tech says, the problems that people in tech have are so far removed from the reality of most everyday people with “regular” jobs. The fact that most of us took flights and had paid hotels (and a daily stipend for food/ride shares) simply for a “team building” Lego activity that lasted ten minutes can sound pretty preposterous to someone who doesn’t work in our industry (and what could sound even more insane is that we had a fixed budget for our evening activity of bowling and subpar dinner, and thus could not afford a “real” team restaurant dinner, yet somehow there seemed to be no limit on the alcohol spend that night…).

Another friend, who is a retired middle school science teacher, told me she was recently out with another retired teacher for lunch around the Embarcadero in San Francisco. It was the middle of a weekday afternoon, and they saw tons of young people walking around. “We were wondering, ‘Shouldn’t they be working?’ Such a different life than a teacher…'” she had messaged me.

There are a lot of stupid, completely senseless things we have to deal with when working in tech: ridiculous politics, bureaucracies, “products” that don’t work but we need to sell and support, toxic and/or unrealistic management. But we also get luxuries that so many do not get: flexibility to work from home, work wherever we want, whenever we want, relatively good benefits and perks, and higher than average pay. If we want, we can take a longer lunch in the middle of the workday and make up for it later in the evening. We have the flexibility to go to a doctor’s appointment or hair cut in the middle of the day and just move some meetings around. All of my dog-owning colleagues take their dogs on multiple walks during the day from home, no questions asked. And we accept it as part of “work-life.” As a teacher, you’d never be able to do this.

There’s no such thing as the perfect job. There’s always a give-and-take situation with every company, every role, every single thing you do in life. So we just have to maximize what we have for what we really want and what matters to us.

Gratitude for friendship

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The older you get, the harder it is to make friends. The odd thing is that I’ve probably made more friends since the pandemic than before that in my entire time in New York City. Part of it was because I was just more intentional about finding qualities I liked in people and pursuing them (almost like platonic dating).

Fundraising for AFSP has oftentimes felt like a just-me endeavor. I’ve been lucky to have friends come join me at the walk some years. Chris has always accompanied me. Since Kaia has been around, she’s been dragged against her will. This year, I had three friends join the walk; two of them even recorded my speech, which has enabled me to share this with friends, family and colleagues. The fact that I have friends who care enough to come to this walk with me at all show me that the best people in your life will show up for you when it really matters.

I have a more distant friend who has donated every single year. And with her donation, she always writes me a really sweet, heartfelt note. This is part of what she wrote me this year:

“Each year, you find a way to capture the lingering effects of the loss of a sibling to suicide. Each year, the story is a little different as your life evolves, as your child’s life evolves, and yet the empty place in your heart left by Ed’s tragic death remains. It is not static, but changes shape and form as the things in your life show you all the different angles from which his light could have shined brightly. We see in our mind’s eye the Ed that might have been, the proud brother, the doting uncle, maybe even the fellow parent?

When I first began donating, I did it mostly for your sake, and the horror I felt regarding the way others in your family reacted. It is truly as you say: Silence and stigma help no one! My psychiatrist says, though it’s hard to witness, their reaction is not uncommon. What a wonderful contrast we have in you, and in the whole “Out of Darkness” concept.

Now I feel that I donate for you AND for Ed. Each year your portrait of him, painted with your heart, has made this person I never met more and more dear to me, and I look forward to spending this time with him through your words. I’m knowing him as he was, but also who he IS, as he lives again through your words and actions. What a man he must be, to inspire such loyalty in his sister!”

How lucky I am to have friends who not only show up for me, but also take the time to write such thoughtful messages.

An interview with a NYC story teller

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A few months ago, the executive director of AFSP NYC asked if I’d be interested in featuring my story about why I walk at the national level. I’m an open book and am happy to find ways to help others, so I said that I’d be willing to participate. Fast forward to this last week, the AFSP head of social media reached out to schedule time before the walk at Pier 16/17 to meet with David Eng, a New York City-based videographer and story teller, to discuss why I walk and why I fundraise with AFSP. He would be producing videos showcasing personal stories of why people walk, and they asked me to sign off on some release forms so that they could post these videos publicly.

I kept looking at his name and wondering why he sounded so familiar. I quickly looked him up on Instagram and discovered that he’s actually done the food videos for Banh and Kopitiam, some of my very favorite restaurants in the city. I actually already knew his work and really enjoyed it. I was a little nervous, thinking, wow, he’s interviewed and featured people who run some of the best businesses in the city, and now, he’s just sharing my (Ed’s) story?!

The head of social media found me, and we chatted while we walked over to David staking out some good recording spots with indirect light. I asked David about his Banh connection, and we geeked out over Vietnamese food for a bit; he was incredulous that I’d actually seen his Banh video since he said it was from over three years ago. He has since stopped doing food stories because they are very chaotic and stressful due to restaurant scheduling/hiccups. Now, he focuses most of his work on social media (for Banh Anh Em!!) and on telling human stories of real New Yorkers — like myself.

They had given me some prompt questions ahead of time to get my thoughts organized before the interview. But the interview itself ended up being a lot more thought-provoking and emotional than I had imagined. David was a really great, sensitive interviewer. He asked me a lot of questions that I don’t believe I’ve ever been point-blank asked before about Ed, about my journey toward healing and helping others.

One question he asked me, which I know no one, not even any therapist or close friend has asked, is, “If Ed were here today (assuming he’s still not alive), what would you say to him?”

I paused for a while on this. I didn’t tell him this, but I write Ed a letter on this blog for every birthday of his, every anniversary of his passing. So I do “speak” to him as though he’s in the other world, heaven, whatever you want to call it. But this question I suppose hit differently because this was a live conversation, in person, and I have never been asked that face to face by anyone. It’s a hard one.

I partially shared this, but not all my thoughts (no one has time for all of it). This is what I would say:

I love you. I miss you so, so much. I hope you are proud of everything I’ve accomplished, everything I’ve done to help others in your name. I want you to know that you didn’t die in vain, you did not die for nothing, that I’m doing everything with the little power that I have to keep your legacy going. Every person I can support and help — I do it in your honor and to keep your memory alive. You may not be here anymore, but in my heart, you are always, always living on in me. I have not forgotten you; I will never forget you. I will try to live my best possible life and do right by people because that’s what you would have wanted for me, for Kaia. You will always be a part of me — the best part of me. Your life mattered. It still matters.

AFSP New York City Out of the Darkness Walk at Pier 16/17: “Why I walk”

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Today was the day of the AFSP New York City Out of the Darkness Walk. This is my 13th walk, and my 12th in Manhattan. It was likely one of the largest turnouts for the walk I’ve seen in years, which was great to witness. Three friends came to support me for the walk; two of them even recorded most or all of my speech, which I was grateful for. It’s also my second year serving on the walk planning committee. As part of my role on the committee and given I have been the longest involved fundraiser/walker for this walk, I was asked to give a brief speech during the opening ceremony about why I walk. So, I wrote this speech below and delivered it this morning. I think overall it went well. Chris held up Kaia in his arms so that she could watch me speak. Chris thinks that Kaia would rate it a 3/5 stars, though, because she started squirming in his arms after less than halfway through…

Good morning, everyone. My name is Yvonne Wong. This is my 12th New York City Out of the Darkness Community Walk.

Every year, I walk for my big brother, Ed. Ed was one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever known. I always remember how he used to shower me with gifts for my birthday and sometimes would even get me a “welcome home” cake when I’d come back to San Francisco. 

I lost Ed to suicide in July 2013, after a long struggle with depression and anxiety. I was living here in New York City. He was in San Francisco, 3,000 miles away. I often felt helpless, and I didn’t know where to turn for support.

When I lost him, I was overwhelmed by guilt, anger, and grief. I couldn’t understand why he had to die. I struggled to understand why his suffering hadn’t been taken more seriously.

In searching for answers, I found AFSP. Here was a place where people spoke openly about suicide and called it what it is, suicide, where there was room for my grief, my anger, and my questions. Through AFSP, I found people who understood, and a community I could turn to.

I also found a way to keep honoring Ed. I began sharing his story through fundraising and community events. And year after year, I kept telling it.

Then, something I did not expect started to happen. People started reaching out: friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and even complete strangers. They shared their own experiences of loss and struggle. And many told me I was the very first person they had ever opened up to.

That… has stayed with me. By telling Ed’s story, I was helping make room for other people to tell theirs; I was creating a safe space for them. What began as a way to honor my brother became a way to connect with people whose pain I might otherwise never have known about. And in those connections, I found some healing of my own.

Today, I’m proud to serve on the New York City Walk Planning Committee as a volunteer and fundraiser. This community has given me a way to keep showing up for Ed… and for other people who need understanding, support, and hope.

I can’t bring my brother back. But I can keep saying his name. I can keep listening when someone is ready to talk. And I can keep working toward a future where fewer families experience this kind of loss. 

That is why I walk. I walk for Ed. I walk for the people who have trusted me with their stories. And I walk for anyone who is still carrying their grief or their struggle alone… so they can find what I found here: understanding, connection, and hope.

If that’s you, I’m so glad you’re here. You belong here. And you don’t have to walk alone. Thank you for walking with me.

Back to back kids events in a single day

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We were invited to a joint birthday party of Kaia’s classmates today, so we knew we would take her. But then her school also decided to host a Halloween fest later in the afternoon, and we thought it would be good for community building (and for Kaia) if we went to both. It seemed like a lot for us, and highly unusual given our usual Saturdays, but we do things to make our child happy, right? The birthday party would be at a large kids indoor play space from 11:30-2:30; the school’s Halloween fest would be held just blocks away from us from 3-5pm. Time was tight. And I told Chris that I was always envious of other friends with kids and how they attended preschools and schools with a strong sense of community/friendship. I wanted that, too. So now that I have it, I should take advantage of it by going to most of these events that I am here for, right?

“Well, there goes my Saturday,” Chris grumbled as Friday approached and he knew we would be forgoing our usual Saturday food crawl.

He doesn’t really mean to grumble, though. Chris enjoys socializing, and we have a pretty decent group of parents in our kindergarten class. We’re still getting to know everyone and their personalities. We’re also still discovering who we get along better with than others.

I would say that almost two months into being at this school and interacting with the parents in our class I have met, I have definitely identified people I jive with more than others. There are the people who are very thoughtful and insightful; some seem to have views and perspectives that mirror ours; some are more analytical (and anal) than others; some show they are always thinking about how others perceive them; some are trying to get into higher level parents association positions at the school; some are trying to do everything within their power to increase the school’s enrollment; one is definitely a complainer all around. So far, it’s a good mix of parents and it feels comfortable.

In the meantime, Kaia seems to be identifying friends who are her favorites or “best friends,” though, and sometimes, they change by the day. It sounds like a typical girl thing of this age range. Chris got her this book from a used book store last week called The Invisible Boy, and with its theme, we’re trying to teach her to try to be friends and play with everyone. You never know who you might get along with unless you branch out. (Adults are a different story, but hey, she’s not even five yet!).

Friday afternoon in Chinatown

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Now that Kaia is no longer going to school down in Manhattan Chinatown, I also no longer have an excuse to be down there every day. I can no longer make a last minute decision to make an authentic Chinese, Vietnamese, or Thai dish because my access to the right ingredients is limited where we are; I can’t just pick it up on a whim while in Chinatown. Now, it’s back to the days of pre-planning way ahead to think about things I may need and want to cook. Since my afternoon was pretty quiet today, I decided to go down there for some groceries and to pickup Friday dinner takeout.

I mostly purchased fresh produce, things I cannot get easily (or anywhere as cheaply) on the Upper West Side: king oyster mushrooms, oyster mushrooms, gai lan, Shanghai bok choy, fish tofu, firm tofu (a specific brand I prefer). I stopped by Banh by Lauren to tick off two more punches on my Kickstarter punch card and got some banh bo nuong slices. I went to my super under the radar Fuzhou Wei Zhong Wei for Fuzhou-style xiao long bao and fried dumplings. I waited in a short line that became super long at Kuih Cafe to pick up a made-to-order pandan mochi waffle, this time filled with handmade durian kaya (ugh, so delicious). I picked up a few baozi (cha siu and custard filled pineapple bao) since these are now no longer easily accessible for us. Chris requested Korean for dinner, so I ordered takeout from what is likely the only casual, reasonably priced Korean place in Chinatown. And on my way back onto the B/D train uptown, I picked up my HeyTea mobile app order for King Guava Jasmine milk tea. My arms were full of groceries and food brimming from my canvas bags, but I will say that the entire way up on the subway to the Upper West Side, I felt quite self-satisfied with my varied food haul. Next time, I will need to vary it up and get things I did not get this time around!

Chicken and lentil soup, majorly improvised from NYT Cooking

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Because we have The New York Times app, we also have access to their cooking app. I don’t actually make the recipes from here that frequently, but I do browse it a decent amount and bookmark recipes for inspiration. I had recently bookmarked lots of soup recipes (it’s soup season, remember?), including one for red lentil and chicken soup. As soon as I read through the recipe, though, I knew I would need to improvise a lot from the original: the soup uses no stock at all, just water. It also has one spice other than pepper: turmeric. If you cook with spices at all, you know that turmeric is never used for its flavor, but rather its color and health properties. If you want to “flavor” something with just turmeric, you are basically saying you want to taste dirt, which to me, is not that tasty (to each their own, though…). I like the idea of using lentils and chicken together in an autumn soup, so I used the base and immediately started doctoring it: I used my chicken/duck stock. I added coriander, cumin, paprika, and my self-blended Madras curry powder for additional flavor. I also added spinach at the end, along with a generous sprinkle of minced cilantro for freshness. I also like it with a squirt of lemon when I’m too lazy to add the lemony yogurt to the top. It really hit the spot… after all the changes I made. If I made it as is, I definitely would not be giving it the 5-star rating it currently has! And if you read the recipe comments, you’ll see many people make the same changes I did… but likely still gave the recipe five stars! They are far more generous than I am. I would never give a recipe five stars unless I followed it to the T and found it absolutely perfect!

Opening up the Instant Pot worked so far!

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So I cleaned the inside of the Instant Pot after unscrewing the bottom, emptying out all the burnt over dried up soy milk crud, and scrubbed clean the sensor bars. I aired it out overnight. Then I put the bottom piece back in and screwed it in. I ran a 5-minute water pressure test to ensure the pressure was building up properly. And it worked! The glue to seal the sensor screws has arrived, so I will be gluing them soon and will let it air dry before using the Instant Pot once again.

Phew. I hope this keeps up and this isn’t a false sense of security. I never want to see that awful C6L error or any error on my beloved Instant Pot ever again. I NEED my Instant Pot! It’s an integral part of my kitchen and cooking!

The scary “C6L” error on the Instant Pot

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The “error” music of an Instant Pot is unusually perky. At first, you want to think it’s something positive, but when you turn to look at it, all you see is “ERR” flashing on its little screen, along with another message. That could be “BURN,” which I’ve lost count of the number of times that has happened to me (this means the bottom of the inner lid has too much food encrusted on it, and thus it cannot continue cooking properly. Unfortunately, it’s a very common one to get with BIRYANI!). But I know how to handle that error, and I know nothing is intrinsically wrong with the device. However, after making soy milk in the Instant Pot for the fourth time this morning, I came back to open it to then hear that miserable little music again, with an error I did not recognize: C6L.

Oh, crap. And I had a feeling I knew what this was about. Four weeks ago, I made soy milk in the Instant Pot for the first time. I got the “burn” error because I did not use a steamer rack to keep the soy bean solids from sticking to the bottom of the pot. So I tried to compensate by ensuring the soy milk was cooked fully by putting the pot on “saute” mode. Well, I didn’t realize how much quicker soy milk boils over than cow milk (wow, this will give cow milk a run for its money for boiling over the quickest!), and so the soy milk not only spilled down the sides, but into the inner pot of the Instant Pot. I tried my best to dry it out and scrape every last piece out that I could over the course of three messy days. For the most part, I thought I was successful. But I had this little dread in the back of my mind that something else could be wrong because several subsequent Instant Pot uses (especially with pressure cooking), Chris and I could smell a strong, unpleasant burning smell when the pot was on. It gave me no error, and it was cooking just fine, so I thought at some point, the burning smell might just stop?

Wrong. I made soy milk today, and the burning smell lingered. C6L is an error that means that the left sensor to detect pressure cooking either has debris, liquid, or something stuck in it that is preventing it from sensing properly. I went down a rabbit hole this morning of referencing Gemini, Claude, YouTube, and multiple websites to see if I could fix this myself. I unscrewed the bottom of the main device, cleaned out all the soy milk crud that had gotten stuck on it, and reached the sensors. I had to use toothpicks, toothbrushes, tiny pieces of damp tissue, and my bare fingers to get all this crap out. The YouTube video I watched suggested removing these thick white glue pieces on top of the sensors, so I did that. But then, I didn’t know how to put them back without them falling off. So I found out I had to buy this special heat-proof, sensor-sensitive glue (obviously… on Amazon!) to ensure the white glue pieces that ensure the sensors are reading pressure correctly was glued back on (doesn’t that sound weird?). So I am waiting for the glue to arrive.

All of this is giving me anxiety because this isn’t the first time my Instant Pot has suffered. In early 2022 in my postpartum and breastfeeding chaos days, I accidentally left my first Instant Pot lid too close to the stove when I had the oven on. The heat rising from the oven melted a key part of the lid that prevented it from latching properly onto the main device. After going onto Instant Pot’s official website and learning they do not sell replacement lids, and then chatting with their support team, I lamented that my pot was no longer usable. So I ended up tossing it (this really hurt) and buying a new one. It made me both angry and sad because I hate waste, and I loved my Instant Pot so much. I really hope this glue works with fixing my pressure sensors. Otherwise, worse case scenario, I may need to be that terrible person and buy a THIRD Instant Pot. My kitchen is just not complete without an Instant Pot; I do so, so much with it and use it at minimum 1-2 times per week! PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS BE ME!