Category Archives: Health

Importance of leucine

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Oftentimes when I read about complementing diet with exercise, I’ll be honest and say that I haven’t really thought very deeply about it. I always thought that if I ate mostly whole, home cooked foods, mostly plants with some meat and fish here and there that I’d be fine. But I realize with lean muscle building/fat loss/body recomposition goals that unfortunately, it isn’t that simple. Even when you think you do the right things like eat mostly whole foods, that doesn’tmean anything when it comes to making sure you have the right nutrients to fuel your body with the level of activity you are doing. So while I always exercised relatively rigorously, I also wondered why I was able to get definition pretty easily in my back or legs, but pretty much zero definition in my arms. And I have a feeling it’s because of an imbalance of nutrients (plus… genetics).

As I am reading more about women’s health, I finally started thinking more about leucine. Leucine is an amino acid that your body cannot produce on its own that must be obtained from diet. It acts as a primary “trigger” for muscle protein synthesis, which makes it imperative for muscle repair, growth, and the regulation of blood sugar levels. Overnight your body is fasting, so when you wake up, it’s crucial to have a breakfast high in leucine to give your muscles a signal to start building and repairing tissue. And given I am now in my 40s and will be facing declining estrogen levels, this can accelerate muscle loss, which makes leucine even more important to protect against muscle breakdown. Maintaining muscle becomes even more critical in my 40s to prevent insulin resistance and unwanted weight gain. I wonder why I never really read about this before or was told about leucine before. But that’s why we’re all always learning and evolving!

So now I am consciously eating a breakfast high in protein / leucine (2.5-3 grams) each morning, within one hour of working out. It’s a bit of a struggle since I usually skip breakfast, but I really need to be consistent about increasing protein and making sure I get enough leucine (the easiest places to find this are in whey protein powder, cottage cheese, yogurt, soybeans, beans, and meat products). Breakfast is a pretty simple meal to prepare in advance, so I hope all these efforts I am doing will actually yield some visible results in the next couple months!

An identity crisis at the grocery store

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While in the dairy section at Trader Joe’s yesterday, I stood in front of a refrigerated wall of yogurt options, debating what to get. Given my focus on high protein, lean muscle building, and fat loss as of late, I knew I had to (at least temporarily) ignore the European style full-fat yogurt I would normally get in favor of the drained, thicker lower-fat Greek yogurt. But when I looked at the Greek yogurt options, I felt confused: why were all the 1% and 2% fat options so much smaller quantity wise, yet more expensive than the 0% large container (one quart)? And also, where did all those 1-2% fat Greek yogurt options even go? This section of the shelf had been completely wiped out before I even arrived at the store late morning, so even if I had wanted to choose those, they were no longer there for me. So I was left with the 0% fat Greek yogurt option, which was my least desired option (zero percent – what is that – like eating a bunch of nothing favor-wise?!). And since I had made the trek all the way up to 92nd Street, there was no way I wasn’t coming back with Greek yogurt, as it was on top of my ‘to-buy’ list. I felt like I was having an identity crisis: since when did I ever buy nonfat anything — ever? Even before living with Chris, when I lived with my then-roommate and friend, we always bought 1-2% fat milk or yogurt. This felt like a funny thing — me walking around Trader Joe’s with two quarts of zero percent fat Greek yogurt (which also happened to be the very last two quarts of Greek yogurt in the entire store at that time!). Maybe the Yvonne I thought I was will no longer be?

I told my friend about my identity crisis over text when I came back from TJs, and she laughed at me and said that zero percent dairy is basically like eating a thick blob of nothing. Even with her fat loss / lean muscle building goals (and she has always been way more into this than I ever was), she said even she refuses touch that stuff and has to do at least 1 percent fat. Welp, there we have it: even she won’t touch it.

Trader Joe’s at 72nd Street Upper West Side closes, so Trader Joe’s at 92nd Street/Columbus becomes an even bigger zoo

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Late April, I heard the unfortunate news that my neighborhood Trader Joe’s at 72nd Street and Broadway had plans to temporarily close for about four months for renovations. I usually go to Trader Joe’s every other week and use that as some outdoor steps time for me, so I was sad about this. Now, the closest TJ’s to me is on Columbus between 92nd and 93rd Street. While technically, I still can walk, that’s a much longer walk, which means it will take more time, which means that it will require a bigger chunk of my day to go. And I usually try to go on a weekday late morning when my calendar is lighter to avoid the most insane crowds and lines. So until about September, I will need to more carefully plan my Trader Joe’s visits and be more strategic about when these will happen. And as such, I will likely go less frequently, which also means I will end up buying more items per visit. So my plan is to walk up there, get my groceries, and take the bus back down.

Today was the first day I did the trek up. The walk was nice; I always like walking outside in the mornings, especially now that it’s getting warmer with summer here. But as soon as I stepped into this Trader Joe’s at 92nd Street, I felt a bit overwhelmed. I saw people whizzing and running by me, a few in actual circles. Carts were nearly crashing into each other left and right. I lost count of the number of people who either bumped me with their cart/shopping basket or themselves. There was no real, clear flow of “traffic” in this store. Many of the shelves were already cleared out or near empty. I wanted to stock up on about two weeks’ worth of Greek yogurt, and my timing was just such that I was able to snag the last two quart-sized containers — pure luck. I’d never been in this store location before, and so I wasn’t used to the layout and got weirded out when all the cereals and cereal-adjacent items were not in the same area. The only thing I like more about this store layout versus my neighborhood TJs is that everything is on a single floor. I’d never liked the 72nd Street “two floors” situation. While that does help with traffic flow, I never like the lack of natural light on the lower level.

After I got all my stuff and paid, I was happy to be able to have the bus stop just a block away. But then when I got on the bus, there was barely any space for me: multiple people were there with walkers and strollers…. or their own shopping bags. I eventually got a seat in the back, but getting on was really uncomfortable with my three packed canvas bags full of groceries and trying not to step on anyone’s feet/stroller/walkers.

While I will definitely do this trip again in July, I am not sure I can go here every other week until September. That TJs location is a zoo with many accidents waiting to happen. And if that doesn’t already increase my stress level, the bus situation will also not be fun. Who would have thought about the bus being packed at around midday on a Monday?

ChatGPT Premium – Therapist, trainer, dietitian, work assistant, everything now

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Chris just got us a good deal on ChatGPT Premium, so instead of relying on my free version of Claude AI to answer my life’s deepest and most important questions, I am now deferring to ChatGPT Premium for what is obviously very, very premium answers. So I have a few chats that are completely disorganized and mislabeled in ChatGPT now, but they are mostly following along these themes: family travel/food/itinerary planning, workout regimen design based on my 40s status/perimenopause prep/desire to lose subcutaneous fat/build lean muscle, and a meal planning/prep plan to go with said workout regimen. I also ask ChatGPT questions about things that originally confused me, like why can collagen powder not be considered a “complete protein” that “triggers” the body to realize I want to build lean muscle (UGH, what a bad purchase given my goals). And also, why can’t my old pea protein powder be a “complete protein”? As you can see, “complete proteins” are very much top of mind the last couple months.

And then here and there, I have some work questions, so I have to ask ChatGPT to help me with research, changing my tone in a message, or drafting a message that I really do not want to write myself. So, ChatGPT really has become like my therapist, my work buddy, my trainer, my dietitian — almost my everything now. How can I even live without this thing now?? And just a year ago, I barely even used this thing!

Longer days, warmer weather = happier self

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Ever since I was young, I have always disliked cold weather. The dreary, grey overcast days of the Richmond District of San Francisco always made me feel miserable. Then, when I made the decision to move East for college, snow was fun for about a hot second, and then it settled in to me that this atrocity would last about three months every year. Overall, I’ve really embraced the distinct seasons (especially spring, summer, and autumn), but I always have a general dread for winter because of the shorter, darker days and the extreme cold.

So when it starts warming up in late spring, I always get excited. The days are getting noticeably longer, and I can feel myself just feeling happier in general that I can look forward to lots of sun, natural light through our windows, and not needing to wear layers every day. I am the happiest when I can walk out my front door and not put on any layer on top – no zip-up, no windbreaker, no coat — nothing (other than a hat)! This time of year, I am definitely my happier self.

Osmanthus flower tea

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Today, my friend came over for an afternoon catch-up, and I suggested that we grab milk tea from TP Tea, which is owned by Chun Shui Tang, the original Taiwanese shop that is reputed as the original creators of bubble tea. It happens to be just a few blocks from my apartment, so she picked up an order for Chris’s parents and me on her way over. I chose the osmanthus oolong milk tea with house-made lychee jelly, 30 percent sweetness, and less ice.

I was thinking about my milk/bubble tea choices in the last year or so. I don’t get milk tea that often, though New York City has exploded with endless Chinese, Hong Kong, and Taiwanese franchises, with the biggest being HeyTea. But one type that has always been popular among Asians that I only recently got into was osmanthus tea. Osmanthus is a yellow fragrant flower that, similar to jasmine, is oftentimes added to tea or drunk on its own (like chrysanthemum). It’s very aromatic and oftentimes infused with green, black, or oolong tea leaves. It has an almost fruity taste. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), it’s known for promoting relaxation, supporting digestion, and also delivering a high amount of antioxidants. I’m getting more into the non-tea fruity, floral flavors as of late. The tea isn’t always enough for me anymore, even if it is really good, fresh loose leaf, and high quality!

When your esthetician actually compliments your skin

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Since about 2013, I’ve been getting a facial about once a year to treat myself. There have been some anomalies where I’ve gotten two facials in a year, but that was either because I got a second one because of President’s Club at my last company, or because some friends wanted to have a spa day together. Then in 2024, I got referred to a skin clinic in Midtown Manhattan by a friend, and I really liked the esthetician who worked with me. Since then, I’ve committed to about two-ish facials per year, plus a few laser treatments since in my middle age, I’ve discovered a little hidden body dysmorphia (I have a great track record for being slow to almost everything…). In this entire time, I’ve pretty much never gotten any compliments on my skin other than that I’ve always looked young for my age. (I will note that when I went to my first and only dermatologist appointment back in October, the doctor said my “skin looks great!” But alas, she said this in the context of moles and potential skin cancer, so take that with a grain of salt). Other than that, most previous estheticians have told me that I have “very congested” skin, or a congested nose (I mean, I do have Asian genes, so this tracks). And in the last few years, I’ve been told that my oily skin has morphed into “combination skin,” meaning that I am dry in some parts but oily in others. So, this has been a lot of fun!

So yesterday, I went in for a facial with my now-regular esthetician. And after the full facial treatment, she took a few photos for me and compared these to when I first started seeing her in mid-2024. And she said to me, “Yvonne, your skin is looking so good! It’s so much brighter than it was before. Just look at these before vs. now photos. Have you been doing something different to your skin lately?”

Well, yes. I started an Australian 20 percent azelaic acid cream every morning since the end of December. And then I started 0.025 percent Tretinoin two days after my birthday in January for about four days per week, so I guess I have been doing a lot that is more intense and different for my skin than before. So maybe this is what is making it “brighter?” I have no idea. I look at my face every single day and probably scrutinize it more than I should, but if she didn’t show me the photos, I likely would have thought my skin was never going to do any better than it did in 2024.

It does feel good when an objective other person can share with you that something about you is improving for the better, though. I hope my skin health keeps up!

The high protein life

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One of my friends who has an insulin resistance recently gifted me three boxes of bean-based dry pasta: they are chickpea, edamame (soybean!), and black bean based. She told me that given her health condition, she actually doesn’t have any regular (wheat) pasta at home, so this is all she has when she says she eats pasta at home. I tried the edamame spaghetti and used it for this oven roasted tomato sauce I’d made about a month ago and defrosted. Chris tried the pasta before I did, so I asked him what he thought.

“The sauce is very good,” Chris said to me.

“Okay,” I started, “But what about the pasta?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “The sauce is very good.”

Okay, so he hated the pasta. Then he eventually elaborated, saying that the edamame pasta was clearly not going to fool anyone who knew what “the real thing” tasted like. He said it felt like he was “eating for the sake of eating.”

Then, I tried the pasta with my homemade sauce, and I understood what he meant. It just didn’t have that nice mouthfeel and texture that durum wheat-based pasta has. Plus the texture was very questionable. I cooked it al dente according to the box cooking time, and this pasta… just felt like a lighter form of leather.

But I’m still going to keep going with this, and I will most definitely use and cook the two remaining bean based pastas. Today, I tried the tofu bread rolls I made from Hetty Lui McKinnon’s Linger cookbook. These tofu bread rolls are made with zero dairy or eggs: the majority of the dough is just silken tofu and bread flour for high gluten development (i.e. extra, extra fluffiness and lift). And while the texture and fluffiness were very good, I think it may have needed some extra sugar to be more of a standard dinner roll-type bread. I couldn’t imagine eating this bread plain on its own; it definitely either needed a high quality, salted butter, or a fruity jam.

So, this is the high protein life I am exploring. It’s an interesting one, and I am definitely learning a lot about how the foods we know can evolve!

All relationships are work

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The Oxford English dictionary defines work as, “activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.” If you know the strict definition of work, I think most would agree that all relationships are work. It doesn’t matter if it’s the relationship you have with your spouse, child, mother, friend, or colleague: all require a certain level of effort in order to sustain the relationship — at least, in some semi healthy way.

Chris and I just hit our 10-year wedding anniversary last month. His parents sent well wishes on our family Whatsapp group. Then his brother wished us a happy anniversary, also saying, “Good work on reaching 10 years of marriage!”

I looked at his message and smirked. “Thanks!” I responded back. “Ummm, yes. It is most definitely work!”

I told my friend, who is uncoupled, that we had reached our 10-year wedding anniversary and had been together for over 14 years now. She was flabbergasted.

“Shit, I don’t know how you do it!” she said to me after wishing us a happy anniversary. “How can you stand someone for that long, constantly in your space and not doing things the way you want them done?”

This friend knows I am anal-retentive with cleaning. She knows I like everything done in a very certain way in the kitchen. She also knows that I have very strong opinions. And on top of all that, she’s met Chris a number of times now and has had the chance to speak with him a decent amount, so she said she could already imagine how ridiculous and intense our disagreements and arguments would be.

I always wanted to get married. Ever since I learned what marriage was, I wanted to get married and live “happily ever after.” But I don’t think Disney fairy tales or the example of what “marriage” is supposed to be like based on my parents’ relationship were ever the best examples that set me up for success. I’ve spent decades reading psychology and sociology articles and studies, and took a number of classes on these topics. Hell, I even took a sociology course on sociology of marriage and family in college. And when I did therapy two different periods of my life, I spent a good amount of time talking about my relationships with my parents, friends, and Chris, and what I want and do not want to be or become. All of this has been really hard work and required a lot of thinking and introspection. Sometimes, getting to a state of self-awareness can be quite painful. Yet despite all that hard work, I still mess up and do and say stupid things I don’t really mean to say or do in the way it comes out. It’s like every day, I am trying to break out of inherited intergenerational trauma and redefine what I want to be in my relationships with Chris and others I love. I guess everyone is a little bit like that: we only know what we know — until we try to break unhealthy cycles — again, assuming we have a certain level of self awareness, or someone helps point it out to us.

But the work we put into relationships with those we love most is important. It’s probably the most important work of your life. It’s hard for me to imagine a life without those who are closest to me who I love the most. Frankly, I don’t want to be my dad in that sense: I don’t want to be a total loner with zero friends. I also don’t want to be in a marriage where I feel emotionally estranged from my spouse. So while many reject close friendships or serious romantic partnerships, I guess at the end of the day, I am still a romantic and want all these things to be a part of my daily reality.

So, the work continues.

A sore left hip flexor, and when cortisol spikes in middle age due to slowing metabolism

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I only did one run this week on Wednesday, which isn’t normal for my weekly workout routine. I did my usual warm up, then as soon as the run was done, I could tell my left hip flexor was tight. Then annoyingly, it remained tight all day… through today. I’ve never had a tightness in my left hip flexor before. After weaning from breastfeeding and doing more high intensity runs back in 2023, I discovered tightness on the right side for the first time in my life. The amazing trainer at my gym gave me suggestions for strengthening exercises for my glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexor to prevent the tightness. In addition, I did more hip flexor stretches and incorporated a yoga session per week to increase mobility. That seemed to do the trick: I cannot remember the last time my right hip flexor was sore. But now, it seems my left hip flexor is crying out for help, asking, “Hey! Remember me! You need to help me, too!” Those exercises I did for my right side were also done on my left side, too. So this may just be a new weakness I’ve identified that may need to be addressed in a slightly different way.

Aging is a gift. Not everyone is lucky enough to see their next birthday, to live up to the age you or I am at. And I’ve embraced it with more confidence every year. But I will be honest: identifying these new changes in my body and trying to figure out how to troubleshoot them have not been very fun. I am extremely active, exercise far more than the average person does, and try to take care of myself the best I can to ensure optimal health and fitness. But finding out about all these new physiological shifts of midlife, such as declining estrogen that slow metabolism, is challenging. Just a few years ago, if I knew I needed to burn some extra fat, I would just do a harder, more intense run and for longer. I’d do barre or pilates fusion until it burned. And it always worked then. This isn’t the case anymore, and it isn’t that simple where I am now. I’ve already been going hard for the last few months since coming back from Australia and the Philippines, and I’ve only lost about 3-4 pounds out of the eight I wanted to lose. The extra belly fat is just stuck there and doesn’t want to leave. No one else would notice it other than me, though. Running more intensely is NOT producing fat loss because it doesn’t address this age-related shifts that slow metabolism. Plus at this age, steady-state running can even spike cortisol levels, signaling that the body needs to protect itself and guard the fat more, especially in the abdominal area. I guess that’s why I have a little more pudge around my lower waist than I did pre-weaning.

I guess I will need to embrace brisk incline walks a couple times a week now, in place of 2-3x week runs. I will see if it results in any change because I have a feeling my cortisol must be spiking. I suppose this is the right attitude: test and learn, test and shift when things don’t work! These are the new things I am learning to live with — the fact that I cannot control all the changes happening to my body as easily as I did before.