The little influences

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Whether you are aware of it or not, if you have an older sibling, you have probably been influenced in one way or another by this person. Growing up, even though my brother and I certainly fought and didn’t agree a lot of the time, I was influenced heavily by him in ways that I was not aware of at all until reflecting on it as an adult. My first music interests were most obviously influenced by him, as he was the one who exposed me first to tapes, then to CDs, then to mp3s, then to concerts on television and even live. When Ed was interested in Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson, so was I. Whatever CDs Ed bought in the ’90s, I listened to, as well.When Ed got into Shania Twain, I also followed him. And when he would play songs on repeat over and over again… even now, long after his passing, I still do the same thing when I get obsessed with a song. I just don’t openly tell anyone that. Except now, I don’t have to annoy anyone with the same song being played on repeat on the living room stereo; I just do it via my earbuds on my phone.

I was thinking about this a lot while reading The Meaning of Mariah Carey, and after as I got nostalgic for her music in the ’90s and 2000s, especially her live music, which I always thought was so powerful and tear-rendering. Ed was the reason I became so obsessed with everything about her: her personality, her music, her lyrics, her life. Even when Ed didn’t care for her music much after she released Butterfly and later albums from 1997 onward, he still cared. I knew it because he would still buy her albums, and he’d say they were “for me,” even though he still listened to them.

When Ed passed away seven years ago, my parents and I were trying to figure out what to do with all his belongings. Given that CDs are now obviously obsolete (do you even own a CD player anymore?!), I especially wasn’t sure what to do with all these albums… he had CDs. They filled up an entire shelf in the living room. And even if I may never listen to them again, even once, there was really no way I’d want to give up any of the Mariah Carey CD albums just for nostalgic reasons. So I told my dad to leave them all there and that, “I’ll figure it out.”

No, I still haven’t figured it out, even seven years later. I kind of just want them all to stay exactly where they are, just so that I can look back at that shelf and remember the time when he was healthier and a little happier, playing the music he loved that he got me hooked on, as well. I suppose in that way, when I listen to Mariah’s music, it ties me back to him and helps me remember his sweet, generous, loving self.

No bringing home the bread today

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On many weekdays during the pandemic, for a light lunch, I’ll prepare some version of toast for the both of us. It’s usually one slice of bread each with some type of topping, usually avocado, sardines, kimchi, cheese, peanut butter, jam, or some combination of some of the above. Pre-pandemic, we rarely had bread in the house, but since the pandemic, we’ve been eating a lot more than we usually do. And no, mind you, there’s been no weight gain.

I realized after lunch prep today that we’d run out of bread, so I took a break later this afternoon to go out and see if I could grab some. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s lines would be insane, so I tried to stop by Levain or Orwashers to see if I could get a whole grain loaf. Welp, no such luck: BOTH shops had sold out of all their loaves by 2pm, and they both shared that this was highly unusual. “This has never happened before,” the worker at Levain said to me. “At this time of the day, we’d always have some of each type of bread we bake, but today, ti was all gone before 2pm! I have no idea what’s going on.”

It’s the sixth day of Hannukah today, and I wondered if that could be a reason for the bread shortage. The other day I had was… oh wait. The weather report says a huge snow storm is going to blanket all of New York City tomorrow. Could that be the reason everyone is buying up all the carbs?

I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. When it snows here, no one wants to go ANYWHERE.

Queen Ann Ravioli tonight

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On Saturday, we explored Bensonhurst and brought back a number of delicious goodies, including the famous Queen Ann cheese raviolis. They are from a family recipe and made from old-school Italian pasta machines that are no longer for sale in the U.S. Queen Ann has been owned by three different generations and is fully family run. I’d long wanted to visit this spot and take home some of these famous ravioli, and tonight, we finally got to try them.

I made some of my own simple tomato sauce and boiled these fresh, large round raviolis for about four minutes until they floated. I scooped them out of the hot water, spooned some tomato sauce on top, and generously sprinkled grated Parmigiano Reggiano to finish. And when I took a bite, I knew these were going to be amazing: the ravioli casing had a great, toothy, bite, and the inside was like a pillowy cloud of mozzarella, Romano, and ricotta cheese. These were so delicious. I’m so happy we got two different types of ravioli to share. The sun-dried tomato and smoked mozzarella ones are for enjoying in the future.

Sundae Service Creamery

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During the pandemic, I’ve been discovering a number of different small food businesses, including a female minority-owned ice cream business called Sundae Service Creamery. They make Asian-inspired flavors of Ice cream, use no artificial flavorings or ingredients, and make some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had. And what’s even more convenient is that they deliver for free as long as you order two pints or more if you live in Manhattan!

A few months ago, I tried them for the first time and ordered four pints: vegan coconut pandan, earl grey strawberry cheesecake, Vietnamese coffee, and ginger black sesame. Every single one of these flavors blew me away, but I’d have to say that of all of these, my absolute favorite was the coconut pandan; it had the smoothest, creamiest texture, and just the right amount of both coconut and pandan so that neither over powered the other. Chris enjoyed them so much that he nudged me to order from them again, so we did. Our second order of four additional pints (I mean, we ARE in a pandemic…) arrived today. This time around, we got the coconut pandan (of course), and three new flavors: yuzu caramel apple, honey butter chip, and banana miso caramel (this one is not a new flavor of theirs, but is just new to us). I have high expectations of these three new flavors given our experience with the first four and can’t wait to try them. We just need to pace ourselves so that we don’t totally become fatties.

Ravioli

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When I was growing up, one treat we very rarely had for dinner but I loved very much were these cheese shells. I’m pretty certain my dad used to buy them from Costco, but they were so, so decadent and delicious. They had at least three or four different types of cheese, and when we’d have them for dinner, we’d have a little tomato sauce on the side of them and dig into the creaminess of the different cheeses all melding together. Thinking about it now, I do not think I can even remember the last time I had these shells as a kid. They just randomly disappeared from our meals out of nowhere. I was reminded of this delicious memory when we visited two popular ravioli establishments in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, today, Queen Ann Ravioli & Macaroni and Pastosa.

Exploring the many Italian shops across The Bronx and Brooklyn is very overwhelming in that all I want to do is buy a little of everything… but then, that’s not really realistic because a little of everything would likely require a U-Haul truck to bring it all back to our apartment. So when we visit these areas, I need to be selective about what we can realistically carry back and actually eat in a timely manner so that we don’t waste any food. So when I saw that Queen Ann was most famous for their three-cheese ravioli, I knew we had to get a box of them. We also picked up some fresh, lightly salted mozzarella and pesto from Pastosa, among other goodies.

Food memories are usually my happy memories — from my childhood and even my adult life. It seems to be the one constant of joy for me.

Authentic Chinese food on the Upper West Side

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One of the mini panics I had at the beginning of the pandemic was, obviously, food related: if we were expected to stay at home and not take the subway anywhere, then how would I be able to get all my needed Asian ingredients, which I usually go downtown to Chinatown for, or Jackson Heights in Queens. Most of the better and more authentic Asian restaurants are further downtown, in the East Village, Lower East Side, and Manhattan Chinatown. But more and more as we’ve noticed, more authentic Asian restaurants seem to be cropping up further uptown, including Yu Kitchen at around 100th and Broadway on the Upper West Side. Chris placed an order via Uber Eats for the first time from this spot, and we were pleasantly surprised, not just regarding the quality of the food, but also the sheer amount of food we got. What we thought would last a couple days looks like it was enough to feed a small army of people for several days! The tray of chicken feet was probably three times the size of the usual takeout container. The spicy bone-in chicken is likely enough to feed us for over a week. And the quality of the stir-fried pea shoots was high — Chris commented several times how delicious they were. And for the portion size, the prices were more than reasonable.

While I was pleasantly surprised about the quality and the portion of food, in the back of my mind, I get worried about places like this. Would they be so good and so generous that they may end up not making any money and being forced to go out of business?

Cubital tunnel and pain management

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When I think about the way that we live our lives, I think that one thing we are never really prepared for is health issues. No one really anticipates what their life will be like if they encounter chronic pain, fall ill with an ongoing illness, or fracture their hip, requiring surgery and recovery time. When I was young, my mom used to scold me for lying in certain positions on the couch with my neck awkwardly positioned, saying that I may not know it at that moment, but that position for my neck would cause major issues for me when I was older, and she didn’t want me to have issues with my neck later on. The issue is: you don’t know you will have pain … until you are in pain. You don’t know how susceptible you are to anything until you are unlucky enough to fall ill for whatever reason.

With cubital tunnel syndrome, previously, it was only known to affect people who were affected by direct trauma to the elbows. There’s really not enough data to understand why some people are more susceptible to it than others, even when they exhibit all the same behaviors every single day; it’s unclear if genetics play a role here.

My PT said that as long as I do not experience sharp, burning pain in my elbows, arms, or hands, at this point, it’s really about continuing to do nerve gliding/flossing exercises, icing 2-3x a day, and trying my best to not perform actions that will exacerbate potential pain or cause flare-ups. Now, it’s about pain and condition management. So in other words… what does this mean? Am I supposed to have these pains, random flare-ups, hand tightness, and dull elbow pains forever…?! I thought I came to PT to get cured?! I’m not really sure what my next step is supposed to be. I’ve been told that cubital tunnel could take weeks to months to go away. After speaking with people who have suffered from carpal tunnel, which is closely related, some took over a year to fully heal and feel “normal” again, with PT exercises, stretching, splinting, and thankfully no surgery.

This just feels pretty hopeless right now, and I feel sad and frustrated.

Treats from Oz

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Since the pandemic began, Chris has been getting antsy about a lot of things. He’s upset that he cannot do work or personal travel. He’s not happy he is unable to see theater and comedy. He’s not enthused at all that he’s not able to travel back to Australia for his annual summer Christmas. And with international travel basically being blocked, his parents were unable to visit us this spring, which meant that his usual Aussie treats delivery did not happen as per schedule. The treats they intended to bring him have been sitting in their garage and and second refrigerator, waiting to be eaten by someone at some time.

One package after another, he sadly saw his Aussie treats stash being depleted. Arnott’s biscuits like Tim Tams and Teddy Bears? One by one, they were gone. Arnott’s Shapes? Oh, those were gone long ago. The All-Naturals Fruit Confectionary fruit snacks, made with real fruit and sugar, NO high fructose corn syrup in sight? Those are his favorites, and he lamented not having easy access to them as he plowed through one bag after the next. So of course, being resourceful, Chris found a solution to all his maddening snacking problems: He discovered Treats from Oz, the company that ships all these glorious treats around the world… as long as you are willing to pay for the high shipping costs. Because, as well all know, homesickness has no real cost, right? This company lovingly and carefully packs Aussie treats and even accepts requests for specific items when you have them (and Chris definitely had these to offer!). We had a box arrive today that was over 36 pounds, filled with everything from special flavors of Tim Tams, chocolate scotch fingers, all naturals fruit snacks, to even plum pudding and Lamington desserts!

This should satiate my Australian baby… at least, for now.

Grandma’s staple dishes

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Stir-fried tomatoes and eggs: a classic Chinese dish no matter where in China you are, or no matter what Chinese household you are in. It’s a simple dish that requires just tomatoes, eggs, salt, pepper, oil, and maybe some scallions or fresh garlic if you’re feeling fancy, but at its core, it’s a simple, humble, easy dish that sings with the right amount of salt and pepper to season it. When I was growing up, my grandma did a lot of cooking, both simple and complex, and tomatoes and eggs or tomatoes with beef stir fried were always one of our simplest but favorite dishes. A lot of people would never guess this was a classic Chinese dish, but ask anyone who grew up in a Chinese household with Chinese home cooking, and this is considered simple comfort food.

When I moved out and started living on my own after college, many nights I’d come home from work with few things ready to eat, so I’d quickly stir fry some tomatoes and eggs, toss them over rice, and call it my dinner. Fast food wasn’t much of a thing unless it was a treat at my house growing up, and so we always valued home cooking above all else — not just because it’s relatively inexpensive, but it’s frankly just healthier.

It’s not a sexy dish. It’s also not a dish who someone who is not Chinese would normally get excited about. But for me, it’s comfort food in all its simplicity, and it reminds me of all the fond memories I have of my grandma cooking and preparing nutritious food for me and my brother.

Chukar Cherries

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Years ago, when I used to work at a digital agency, I became friends with someone here in New York who eventually moved to Seattle and still resides there now. A generous soul, she would always come back to New York to visit family and friends, and she’d pack bags and bags of Chukar Cherries — these delicious, chocolate/cocoa-covered dried cherries that were locally grown in Washington state. There were the Black Forest cherries, the truffle cherries, the alcoholic chocolate cherries; she wanted to spread the love and deliciousness of this small business in Washington state and all the glory of chocolate covered cherries.

Chris immediately liked these when I brought these home when my friend gave them to us seven years ago, and every time I’d see this friend, he’d inquire about “cherry girl,” or just ask, “Cherries?” So given they were having a Black Friday/Cyber Monday special, I decided to indulge (because, what else is there to spend money on during COVID other than food?!) and buy a box of these cherries. We indulged in them this evening after they arrived, and they tasted just as good as we remember them. It’s my Seattle friend’s lasting legacy with us.