Category Archives: Culture

Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA) Mid-Autumn Moon Festival family event

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Chris and I visited the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA) once many years ago pre-Kaia. back then, it was still a pretty new museum, but it was quite extensive in its story telling and artifacts from Chinese people all over the world making a path into the U.S. I follow MOCA on social media, and I started thinking about visiting them again after Kaia was born, as they hold a number of family/kid-centered events throughout the year for holidays like Mid-Autumn Moon Festival and Lunar New Year. This year, I finally took Kaia to MOCA for their Mid-Autumn Moon Festival family event; it helped that a handful of her classmates from kindergarten and their families were also there. All the adults tag-teamed on watching the kids to make sure we knew where they were and were playing nicely and safely. I got to meet some new parents for the first time there, so it was a great mix of socializing, cultural immersion, and pure kid fun.

I was really happy with how the event turned out: it helps that MOCA had a lot of corporate sponsors, so on top of having their own staff, they had a whole army of corporate volunteers helping out with everything from ticketing to manning all the various kids’ activities. I lost track of the number of hands-on activities there were: it spanned from fake “play” clay mooncake making, real snow mooncake making (fillings included red bean, lotus paste, and green bean paste), Chinese calligraphy, drawing, painting, Chinese potion making (out of different colored sand), card making, and glitter wand making. They also had a well-known Chinese kids’ book author come and do a reading while marketing and selling her books, generous samples of (uncaffeinated) Asian-inspired tisanes/teas and mooncakes, several professional musicians play traditional Chinese instruments like the guzheng, and even a very well done shadow puppet show depicting the story behind the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival in China, which was run by a Chinese shadow puppet company that hand makes all their puppets. I am honestly not sure what Kaia loved more: all the endless activities and things to touch and see, or the together-time with some of her very favorite school friends.

While the parents all tag-teamed with watching over the kids to ensure everyone was looked after, one of the parents told me she’d proactively save us all seats for the much-awaited shadow puppet show — in the front row, no less. So as she did this and I kept track of time, I was watching Kaia and her two kids interact and play. One of them was curious about another library section that had lots of toys, so she proactively came up to me to ask my permission if she could go check out the books. I was shocked: she barely knew me, but she was already asking me for my permission. Then when all three went to the library area, they studiously read the books until I told them (in Chinese) that it was time to get ready to clean up and go to the performance. As if on cue, they all cleaned up, neatly put the books back on the shelf, and then walked with me, in a straight line across, into the little theater; there wasn’t a peep of objection or protest. I thought to myself; this is freaking amazing. WHO ARE THESE KIDS?!

They say that once school starts, peers play a huge influence on a child, far more than a parent does. As someone who was obviously once a kid, I am very, very aware of this. So, it’s important for us as parents to be aware of who our kids are spending time with and considering their friends. All I have to say is: these are the types of friends I need Kaia to have!

First Back to School Night

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When I got out of bed two mornings ago, I knew that autumn had really come: it was the first time I felt the need to put another layer on upon waking. The temperatures felt like they declined sharply in the last few days, or maybe it’s just me. And what perfect timing since the autumn equinox was also on Tuesday, the actual official start of autumn in the northern hemisphere!

Lots of things happen in pretty quick succession once fall starts: school begins, Back to School Night is scheduled, lots of kid/school events, Mid-Autumn Moon Festival (that’s tomorrow!), and Halloween. For me personally, there’s the AFSP Out of the Darkness walk and fundraising, which I usually begin pushing at the end of the summer. End of summer is also when our committee meets more regularly to plan the walk day down to the T. Tonight marked our first official Back to School night at Kaia’s new school, another reminder that she really is in formal school days, in kindergarten. As one of my gym friends says, it’s a “marker that you’re getting ready to let her go.”

Since we don’t have a nanny or family for easy childcare, Chris stayed home with Kaia while I attended the Back to School Night event. The schedule was a bit too packed and condensed: the presentations were too long, and there wasn’t enough open time to breathe and let people ask questions freely. They said they would take questions “after” the presentation was done, but the hard part about that was after each session, we were being motioned to move onto the next talk. At least this was a good way to see what the kids are actually learning week by week, unit by unit, and how the target language themes align with the English Language Arts themes. A bunch of the parents were grumbling in our kindergarten class, saying that when they ask their kids what they learned in school today, they usually respond with something like, “Nothing! We didn’t do anything! We talked about nothing! We didn’t read! We just sat!” I can related to this: more than two or three times in the last two weeks of school, Kaia has responded in exactly this way.

After Back to School Night, there was a casual after-party at the wine bar across the street from the school. I originally intended to just stay for a bit and get one drink, but I ended up staying until the very end along with two other fellow moms (I still stuck with one drink, though). This wasn’t too long, though. In total we were there for about two hours. I’ll be honest and say that no, not every single parent here is warm, friendly, and welcoming, but I would expect that, otherwise they might be some crazy cult. For the most part, people seem friendly, genuine, like they want to be open to others. There’s definitely a good sense of community overall here that I enjoy. Parents mostly do want to get to know other parents, and it doesn’t seem forced or competitive.

When I was walking to the school before the event started, I did start feeling a little sad and wistful once again, thinking about my sweet baby, growing up and slowly spreading her wings and flying away. But then I remembered one of the books we’ve read a lot called “The Wonderful Things You Will Be.” Then I think about how every stage of her development has brought so much curiosity and joy and love to our family, and how with every new thing she says and does, I am more and more amazed by her development, her growth, her depth of thought. She will always be my baby, but she has to be set free to learn, explore, and love. It’s a beautiful but sad thing at the same time. I suppose this is what a mother’s love feels like. I am still reckoning with the fact that my baby is in kindergarten. It is still sinking in.

Tofu “noodles”

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As someone who is half (Cantonese) Chinese, I have probably done the most experimentation with my vast country’s food in last ten years than I have at any other point of my life. For those in the know and who are interested, Chinese cuisine’s endless variety and regional cuisines have been spotlighted a lot more, and because of this, demand for those ingredients has increased. So while amazing online sites like Mala Market exist, even our local Hong Kong Supermarket in Manhattan Chinatown stocks a lot of these rarer ingredients now. I feel like a lot of my food experimenting in the kitchen has just begun!

Before we ended our daily double commutes to Chinatown for Kaia’s preschool years (still a little sad and wistful this has come to an end…), I started stocking up on a lot of freezer and pantry items since I knew the daily access would be gone soon. A few of the things I stocked up on for the freezer were pressed tofu and tofu “noodles.” The “noodles” are pressed tofu strips that have been wound up into flat balls, waiting to be unraveled, cut, and blanched. These are not only tasty with a nice springy texture, but they are also extremely high in protein; an 85-gram serving is already 23 grams of complete plant-based protein!

I made them today using a Sichuanese method as a cold salad. The dish is known as “Three-Sliver Vegetable and Tofu Salad With Chili Oil Dressing” (Hóngyóu Sānsī, 红油三丝), which I got from Xueci Cheng, this Sichuanese recipe developer I’ve been following. It’s a really easy dish once you have the chili oil made. You mix a couple additional ingredients into the chili oil (soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, a pinch of salt) and whisk it. Then you add it to a plate of finely julienned and salted carrot and cucumbers (drained of excess liquid from the salting) and the tofu strips. I didn’t have the patience to finely slice the tofu strips into tiny noodles, but maybe i will try again next time. Then you add more chili oil on top, toss, and finish with minced cilantro. It was a nice, crunchy, chewy, spicy salad!

I really enjoyed this tofu salad. I’ve already added these tofu “noodles” to my list of things to buy again when I am in Chinatown next!

Kaia’s first birthday party at the new school

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Another new kid in Kaia’s kindergarten class had her birthday this last week, and her parents invited us to the birthday party today at a martial arts studio on the Upper West Side. I figured we should attend since we’re here, and because it’s the first birthday party of the year; it would be a good opportunity to get to know other parents who would inevitably be there and build a relationship with this new family. I think of this kindergarten class, it’s just Kaia and this kid Z who are new; all the other kids and their families are existing families to the school, as this school starts at 2s.

One thing that got me personally excited when I got the Paperless Post invite was that there was a mention of food I wasn’t expecting: Nigerian food. Ummmm, yes, please sign me up? We’ve enjoyed a little Nigerian food here and there in New York City, but it’s not a cuisine I am very familiar with and would love to learn more about. I subsequently found out that Z’s mom is Nigerian; her parents immigrated from Nigeria to Dallas before she was born. So they’re very connected to their roots, and I am excited for that connection because it means I get to enjoy amazing dishes as a guest at this event!

While the kids had an intense obstacle course and jumped, swung, and danced to their hearts’ content, the parents were jammed into the small front area with all the bags, gifts, shoes, and tables of food and drink laid out. But somehow we made it work; it almost forced all of us to talk more, which I was happy to do as it gave me time to get to know not just other parents at the new school, but also some parent friends of Z’s parents, who were all very kind and fun to be around. As for the food, I got to get a small fix of jollof rice, fried plantains, egusi stew (ahhhh, this was a huge highlight. The texture and flavor were so unique to me!), and fufu (such fun to eat and squish in my hands to wrap up the stew!).

The event went by quickly, in just an hour and 45 minutes. Before we knew it, we had to empty out. The kids got their goodie bags, and we had to drag them out of the place because they never want the fun to end. As predicted by Z’s parents, Kaia slept very, very well tonight.

I definitely feel a sense of community at this new school, one that was severely lacking at Kaia’s last two schools. So far, it does feel like a good place to be.

The babysitter who came with food and gifts

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To date, we’ve had really great babysitters and some flat out terrible ones. The ones that have been really reliable are the ones who are Kaia’s former daycare teachers. We already had a relationship with them from daycare, and so Kaia would not only know them already, but they’d also know her. All of them have been pretty straightforward in delivering on our asks, which are fairly simple given they’ve been with Kaia in the evenings: they play with her, change into pajamas, brush teeth, read books, pee, and go to bed by a certain time. Given the scope is so limited, it’s kind of hard to “mess” this up, especially now that Kaia is older and can speak and understand. She can also report back to us what happened in case there are incongruencies.

Tonight’s babysitter is a babysitter we sourced through my neighbor friend. She is the daughter of a former daycare teacher of theirs, and she also happens to be a Wellesley alum (ten years after me). She is Singaporean Chinese and is fully fluent/literate in Mandarin Chinese, so I saw this as an even bigger plus, as this babysitter could converse and read with Kaia in Chinese. What shocked me when she came, though, was that she brought snacks for Kaia (Icelandic yogurt and a fruit pouch), and even little gifts: a Hape coloring book, a Paw Patrol coloring book, and a Ty dragon beanie baby. She also came with about eight different books she checked out from the library based on the interests I told her Kaia had, and a set of colored pencils in case Kaia wanted to color.

The last thing I expect or want is for any babysitter to spend money on us. The whole point is that we get her time/labor in exchange for an hourly babysitter rate. So after she left, I told her to please not do this again The library books are fine, but any additional expense on her part is not. It was beyond thoughtful, though.

I wasn’t super happy that despite my notes outlining she needed to be in bed by 7:30 that Kaia pushed her bedtime until 9pm. She is the only babysitter who has gone past my stated bedtime. So I emphasized when she comes back in two weeks that bedtime has to happen by 7:30 because she needs the sleep. I can see Kaia can see this babysitter is a bit softer, and of course she’s manipulating the situation to her advantage. But I need this babysitter to be more firm, otherwise we may not be able to use her again. I do not want the Kaia gifts; I do need the firm bedtime to stay.

Parents Association involvement

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Parent Teacher Association (PTA) involvement has always been something that I was aware I’d do at some point, but when and to what extent, I was not sure. At Kaia’s current school, by default all parents are considered part of the Parent Association (I guess no teachers are involved in this). Since we are a new family, we were asked to fill out a survey before the school year began to indicate how we’d like to be involved. I said I’d be interested in volunteering time for events and also co-chairing a committee or two. I committed to co-chairing the Parent Coffee/Breakfast meetups that happen once per semester. The first one is tomorrow morning, and the second one will be in January.

This level of commitment to co-chair the Parent Coffees/Breakfasts seemed like a small commitment: it would be enough so that I’d show I was interested in some level of leadership/organization and also give me exposure to more social events. What I ended up finding out was that it was an even lower lift than I expected: all I really did was send out a few emails about volunteers to help set up, staff, and clean up the event. The second co-chair ordered the food and confirmed an admin at the school would be available to pick up and store the food order at the right temperatures. She’s also picking up bagels on her way to school tomorrow. Then, I ordered Starbucks coffee travelers and accompaniments today and will be picking them up tomorrow morning and carting them over to the party room space. I requested a reimbursement with my receipt.

Maybe next year, I will be more inclined to do something that is more involved. But this year, this seems fairly easy and straightforward to get involved with our new school community!

The roasted duck is bubbling and scenting up the house

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We are currently about 15 minutes away from a fully finished, whole roast duck. The entire house smells like a combination of five-spice blend and duck fat. I have already drained off over a cup of duck fat from the pan. From my office area, I can hear the duck’s fat bubbling off into the bottom of the roasting pan. I am eager to see how crispy my duck skin has gotten and how much of the fat has been rendered from the skin!

Assuming this is successful, I wonder if we will get lucky at our next Costco run (next month!) and score yet another reasonably priced whole duck to roast! Then I can really put my duck skills into repeat practice!

**Several hours later**

Okay, so I got the leg and thigh right: the skin was flavorful and crispy while the meat was juicy and tender. The breast is really where the challenge is. Even with two heat settings, 325 F for 75 minutes and a 425 F blast for 15 minutes, the breasts still had not rendered out enough fat to get crispy; they actually seemed annoyingly flabby. So I let the whole duck rest for about 30 minutes. Then I carved it… Okay, fine. I didn’t really carve it. I kind of butchered it and messed it up. A lot of the skin tore off. Rib bones got stuck to the breast. I am a pretty sloppy whole chicken carver, but this duck was even more challenging and frustrating! ChatGPT gave this explanation for why this was more frustrating: “Duck is trickier to carve than chicken because the breast sits tightly against a broad rib cage and the skin is thinner and more delicate. The easiest way to stop tearing it is to stop thinking of it as ‘slicing meat off the carcass’ and instead remove each breast as one whole piece first.” I guess I will have to heed that advice next time… If I decide to brave out a whole duck roasting experience again.

I still managed to have two separate and mostly in tact breast pieces with their skin on top. I took both pieces and laid them down in a hot, un-oiled carbon steel pan to render out more fat and crisp up the skin. The result was pretty good. But I have a feeling I would have done a better job if I had just carved up the duck into separate raw pieces to begin with, “confited” the legs, and seared the breasts the way we did in my duck cooking class Chris got me over three years ago. I’ll consider that for next time.

The cleanup was a little miserable to put it lightly. Duck grease got pretty much everywhere and made its way all over the stove, all the counters, on dishes that didn’t even have duck, all over the sink and faucets. Of course, it splattered in the oven, but luckily not as much as I had feared. I was able to clean most of it off easily with a mix of baking soda, soap, water, and elbow grease. I may try this one or two more times just for the experience and challenge, but I can see clearly now why duck is one of those dishes that people leave to the pros. Even if you do get it mostly right, like I did this time, the cleanup is so freaking annoying and time consuming. I am currently soaking my oven mitts now because the duck grease is caked on so badly!

The entire apartment also smells like duck fat; it doesn’t matter what room I am in. This may be okay for now, but tomorrow, I may change my mind.

A cooking challenge: whole duck

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Last autumn while at Costco, I stumbled upon a whole duck in the refrigerator section. I looked at it and realized it was quite a gem to find a WHOLE DUCK as an option, and for a bargain price of about $3.69/lb! So I decided to add it to our cart… and then was so intimidated by the thought of cooking a whole duck that I left it in the back of the freezer this entire time. The idea of cooking a whole duck has terrified me pretty much my entire cooking life.

So I finally gathered all my courage and yanked my 4.5-lb halal duck out of the back of the freezer and have been thawing it in the fridge since Saturday night. I took it out, drained it, then fully dried it. I decided I would cook it the only way I knew how to, which is Chinese-style. I created a Chinese five spice rub with my Burlap and Barrel five-spice blend (the best!), fresh minced garlic, ginger, salt, and pepper. I rubbed it all over inside and out after pricking the skin all over to allow the fat to render out during the roast. I placed it, uncovered, in our fridge to dry out. I plan to roast it tomorrow afternoon.

Am I terrified of how it will turn out? Yes. I am scared I will overcook the breasts and not achieve crispy skin. I have procrastinated on this long enough, though. And age is supposed to make me wiser, right? I kept trying to get reassurance from ChatGPT Pro, who has been telling me that while I may be a novice to cooking duck, I am certainly no novice cook. I know the usual signs of poultry doneness, whether it’s under or overcooked, etc. I just need to breathe. So tomorrow, I will do a two-temperature roasting, the first at 325 F, then the final blast at 425 F to crisp the skin. I need as many good vibes as possible to ensure I don’t smoke up the whole kitchen from all the duck fat that will be rendered; I read that it can be as much as two to three CUPS of rendered duck fat out of a single bird!! But as all my fitness app trainers have always said: if it doesn’t challenge you, then it won’t change you!

The compost worms and Kaia

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While in San Francisco and staying with my parents, Kaia loves to go out to my parents’ backyard and see my dad’s compost, specifically the worms that live and nourish the compost bin. To be frank, I am not sure what the hell my dad does with this nutrient rich compost soil he is creating, but since it gives him joy, we just have to “let them!” If it gives him joy and a reason to be, plus it keeps his mind and body occupied, then I consider it a win for all. Before we left, Kaia requested to see the worms before going to the airport. So my dad was really excited and proudly showed them to her one last time. Then last night unexpectedly, I got this text message from my dad:

“My compost worm said hi to Kaia.”

I smiled when I read this. If you don’t know my dad, then you won’t know why this message tickled me so much and warmed my heart. My dad is usually stoic, always emotionless and rarely shows any real love or affection; he just doesn’t know how. He’s spent his entire life just surviving and being deprived of any real tender care. So now that Kaia is here, she gives affection so easily that it’s like her second nature. So she happily showers it on everyone and anyone, including her Gonggong. And I’m sure it made my dad happy. So he remembered this and wanted to interact with her in this way by sending this text, which is a hundred percent out of character. This is a very playful, affectionate message, one that in a million years I would never have guessed my dad would send to me, even if it’s for my kindergarten-age daughter.

Becoming a mother has changed my life in more ways than I could count. And incredibly, it’s also even changed the way I see my dad. At the core of every person is someone who wants to be seen, recognized, and loved; this is no matter how unfeeling and stoic they may be on the outside. Maybe that’s what my dad was missing in his life all along. Now that he has someone who does this for him, loudly and unabashedly, as in, his granddaughter, something new has been awakened in him.

NYC ID and Union Square Greenmarket

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New York City has a whole network of farmers markets that operate all over the city throughout the year, but it’s a well known fact that the Union Square Greenmarket is its biggest. It’s at its most vibrant during the late spring to early autumn months. During the summer months, there is probably the most variety when it comes to various types of produce. All colors of the rainbow can be found here in the summer! Once upon a time while at several different companies, I was lucky to work close to Union Square and would stop by regularly. Sometimes, it was just to browse. Other times, I’d pick up things to bring home and cook with. Regardless of whether I purchased anything, I always found it fun to look at what was local and seasonal.

Given I work from home now, I don’t have much reason to be in the Union Square area that frequently anymore, but I always look forward to the chance to go back, not just for the Greenmarket, but also because I just love the area. It was where I spent the first five years of my New York City life working, so there’s some nostalgia there. It’s also got a great restaurant/bakery scene.

Plus as I learned this week, Union Square is also home to New York City’s Human Resources Administration office, where I had to go to renew my NYC ID. I was lazy with it when it expired over ten years ago and didn’t go into the office to do the renewal paperwork. Given I already had access to lots of free things that benefited Kaia through my public library card tied to Culture Pass, I decided I’d let it slide because I really did not want to go and make yet another appointment. Chris reminded me that I am losing out on all kinds of freebies by not having my NYC ID active… things I (or Kaia) would actually enjoy and get value out of that were not originally perks. Some major areas we could benefit from would be a free annual membership to the New York MoMA (which I’ve been wanting to go to again for the last six months…), Brooklyn Children’s Museum, New York Aquarium, and the Bronx Zoo. While I’ve gotten once-a-year free tickets to the Brooklyn and Manhattan Children’s Museum, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have unlimited free access to them in a given year, as it would give more options for low cost/free play dates, especially as Kaia is slowly but surely going to age out of those museums in the next 3-4 years.

I definitely had quite the haul at the Greenmarket after my NYC ID appointment, though. Summer is still clearly here for now but ending, as pretty much every vendor had many varieties of vibrant heirloom tomatoes on offer. Corn was huge and plentiful. Endless colorful varieties of peppers were also being sold. I picked up lots of corn, several varieties of heirloom tomatoes, red mustard greens, some beautiful striped zucchinis, locally grown fat garlic, bright red leaf lettuce, a loaf of multigrain sourdough from Our Daily Bread, and a massive bouquet of basil. My haul wasn’t cheap by any definition (Chris called it “Vuittoning,” the term he uses whenever I spend money…), but I suppose a lot has changed in the last eighteen years of living in New York City. I still remember back then, I thought $4-5/lb for heirloom tomatoes seemed expensive; today, the same heirloom tomatoes are anywhere from $8-10/lb, so at least twice as much. Inflation, higher wages, and a higher cost of living contribute to all these costs going up. But at least I can feel good knowing that a) I am supporting local by eating local, b) the produce is super fresh and seasonal, and c) I know for sure that it will all taste delicious!