Women go through a lot of crap in their lives, particularly if they have to go through pregnancy and childbirth. While most people are aware of the pains and annoyances of pregnancy, not many people, other than those who have actually experienced it themselves, are aware of all the postpartum side effects that women face. Of course, while most logical and reasonably aware people would know that childbirth would require your uterus and vagina to heal, it is less well known that postpartum hormones can really go haywire after the birth of a child. Some of the potential things that can happen can include but are not limited to:  hot flashes, cold night sweats, mood swings, acne, hair loss, and a massively itchy scalp. Oh, that massively itchy scalp is actually affecting me literally as I write this.

A bunch of my friends and colleagues warned me about postpartum hair loss. This tends to be most common about 3 to 4 months after giving birth when most of the pregnancy hormones have left your body, and your body is starting to regulate once again into a non-pregnant body. If that happens, your hair can suddenly start falling out in huge clumps. While I have not yet experienced any hair loss that is notable, fingers crossed, I have repeatedly experience a scalp that is so itchy that all I want to do is scratch it until I bleed. And the most annoying part is that whenever it gets super itchy, it’s when I am supposed to be resting. 

When I actually have a quiet moment and can lie down and not use my arms or hands at all, that is when I itch the most. And it drives me absolutely nuts because all I want to do is rest. I don’t have that much time to rest during the day or night. And so it’s like my body is trying to mess with me and tell me that I’m not allowed to rest, and and instead, it is going to drive me crazy by making my scalp itch. That is just not fun at all for me. I wash my hair about 2 to 3 times a week, and if the itchiness continues, I may actually have to increase the number of times I wash it, which I absolutely hate because I hate washing my hair. It is one of the self grooming things that I abhor. It is annoying to wash my hair particularly because ever since I started dying it, I get massive knots trying to get my fingers through my hair while I am washing. And the knots are super frustrating. That’s why during the very few times during the year when I actually get my hair done, I am so happy to have someone else wash my hair for me.

Oh, postpartum life.

Months ago, when I was sharing with my colleagues that I was pregnant, all of my colleagues, particularly my mom colleagues, were very excited for me. The ones who knew that I had dealt with carpal and cubital tunnel warned me about mommy thumb, also known as de Quervain’s tenosynovitis. They warned me not to throw away my wrist splints (as at that point, I didn’t need to wear them regularly anymore given I had managed to get rid of the daily pain) and to save them in case I might need them after the baby came. One of them told me she even had to start seeing a physical therapist for some relief because the condition nicknamed “mommy thumb” was so painful. I knew I had given myself this when I tried to do a thumb’s up motion on my right hand and completely failed. When I tried to move my thumb in circles upwards, I was feeling an unpleasant popping sensation in the tendons in my wrist directly under my right thumb. And that was when I knew that I had pinpointed my wrist problem: this has nothing to do with carpal tunnel. This was a completely different situation. And in some way as strange as it sounds, I am happy that has it has nothing to do with carpal tunnel because carpal tunnel is a nerve issue. Mommy thumb is a tendon issue, which I am hoping is easier to heal.

New parents are most susceptible to this condition, which is a form of tendinitis in the thumb and wrist. They get it because of the repetitive motions of caring for their babies, particularly in lifting them up using their thumb and pointer fingers. Well, I rarely lifted my baby that way in the last 15 weeks because it wasn’t until relatively recently that she had a decent hold of her head and good neck strength. Instead, how did I give myself this? Well, it all goes back to the same thing that I’ve been complaining about and been frustrated with pretty much since the beginning: pumping milk. All of the hand expression that I have been doing to prime my breasts for my electric pump have ultimately been responsible for not only the numbness in my fingertips, but also this mommy thumb condition. Pumping is also responsible for aggravating my cubital tunnel, simply from the repetitive motion of placing my flanges in the right position on my breasts every day for at least 6 to 7 times a day in the last 15 weeks, as well as doing breast compression while pumping.

Well, the numbness in my fingertips is slowly going away because I have been less aggressive about doing breast compressions… Partly out of laziness, and partly just because I’ve been more gentle on myself in terms of my output. And with mommy thumb, there are very specific stretches and exercises to do to help the condition, and I even just purchased a thumb splint, which is basically a wrist splint with another splint for the thumb. I did a massage that was specific for my wrist, and while it seem to help, it likely gets worse before it gets better. The next day after I did this massage on myself a few times, I felt really sore in my wrist. The specific stretch I found online definitely helps it feel better. And I have been icing my wrist as well.

More mommy injuries. It just keeps coming.

Ever since I reduced the number of pumps down from seven pumps per day to six, my output per pump has increased dramatically, plus my overall daily output has also gone up, much to my excitement. I am basically producing 2 to 3 ounces more per day with six pumps a day as opposed to seven, which makes me super happy. What also makes me happy? Looking at my pump output at a given session and seeing such full bottles. No one could relate to the happiness at looking at these fuller breast milk bottles then a pumping mama. This is a fact.

In addition to that, when I put these bottles in the fridge to cool down before combining with other milk that I have expressed and into the bottles that the baby will eventually drink, because the bottles are so full of milk, now, I can see a clearer separation between the foremilk and hindmilk. These two types of milk are exactly what they sound like: the foremilk is milk that you expressed at the beginning of a pump or nursing session. This milk is a lot thinner and less fatty. As you continue nursing or pumping, your body starts releasing the hindmilk, which is a lot thicker, creamier, and much whiter. The hindmilk has the most fat content. The hindmilk is ultimately what gets your baby full. And so the more hindmilk you have, the richer your overall milk is. And when you really look at the milk separation, sometimes the foremilk can look like it’s a blue color. You’re supposed to shake up the milk to ensure they are combined thoroughly before feeding baby.

And for the first time, this week, I saw the foremilk look a little light blue. But when you see the separation of the foremilk from the hindmilk, it was very clear that the hindmilk made the vast majority of the bottle, whereas the foremilk was a teeny tiny proportion. And this made me feel so proud and happy: I have super fatty breast milk! My milk is fatty! My baby is getting lots of good nutrition from my breastmilk that my body is producing. And that just feels like the best thing. It makes all of the pumping that I do feel worth it even though it has been extremely trying and mentally exhausting.