Whole new world

In yesterday’s world, we applied to hundreds of jobs (or at least, I did), and if we were lucky, we’d hear back from maybe 10-20 of them. Companies would make you wait and squirm during interviews, asking you one question after another in an attempt to stump you or make you feel stupid. Then, after whatever phone or in-person interview, the worst of the worst ones wouldn’t even get back to you to let you know they turned you down until two to three months later. Those days really sucked.

Today, there’s LinkedIn for recruiters, internal and external, to reach out to you to ask you if you want to work for them. Recruiters are incentivized to find the best talent for their companies, and many will stop at nothing. I had one person I met say that a recruiter reached out three times, acknowledging all the previous outreach, until he finally responded to her and took her up on the interview request. I’ve had internal recruiters at some of the most prestigious technology companies in the world keep me in their back pocket in the event that a relevant opening comes up that might be to my liking.

And what really shocked me today was when I went in for an interview just past a normal lunch hour, and the interviewer offered to buy me lunch. You want to buy me lunch? Really? Can we be friends now? You’re kind of amazing even for just offering. Thanks so much, but I ate before coming. What a sweetie.

And then later tonight, to set up another interview with another company, they offered to provide a ride to and from their office because “we want you to arrive to your interview stress free!”

I told my friend this, and he responded, “Who is this — Exxon or Goldman Sachs?”

Neither, dude. Neither.

New start

It’s the second day of spring, and I really should start expanding my food horizons when it comes to what I buy at Trader Joe’s. They are constantly coming out with new products, so why do I always just buy the same produce and oil and dairy products all the time?

I’m clearly late to the band wagon, but Trader Joe’s is the cheapest possible source for organic frozen acai. They also carry the cheapest box of Nature’s Path hemp granola. And why did I always ignore the dried fruit section other than the dried cranberries and cherries? With the help of a random food blogger I found, I realized that they actually sell dried baby bananas that literally taste as good as banana bread, just without all the extra sugar, oil, and eggs. If you tried these, you probably wouldn’t care to touch banana bread again (well, I will still make it, but you know what I mean).

I really need to slow down and actually browse stores instead of being so laser focused on things I supposedly need or want to make the recipes on my list. Maybe this is the season for it.

Helium

For the first time since college, I have a huge helium-filled balloon in my house, and I’m so excited by it. I got it at a freebie event that was held by an Italian shoe company for their birthday today, and they were handing out free gift cards for way-too-expensive shoes, and these massive green balloons. The last time I remember getting a balloon, my brother had gotten it for one of my birthdays. It may have been my 21st.

Helium balloons bring out the child in me. It’s a very simple thing (until you find out that these things can actually get quite pricey!), but it brings so much joy not just to kids but to adults. As I walked down the street with this huge balloon (it’s probably 6-8 of my heads combined), everyone looked at me and smiled.

Now, I just want a whole room full of helium balloons to get me giddy.

Eye exam

I haven’t had an eye exam in almost two years, partly out of laziness and also partly out of cheapness. It’s frustrating when your vision insurance requires a co-pay of only $20 for an eye-glass exam but a nearly $60 co-pay for a contact lens exam. Why the discrimination? Because I hate wearing glasses, I need to pay three times as much for my exam, especially when we all know that maintaining contacts overall is far more costly than wearing eye glasses?

Regardless, I only wear contacts at most once or twice a week. I wear them when I have special occasions (like weddings), or when I want to wear my regular good-looking, non-prescription sunglasses. I carry my eye glasses around when I know I need to see far or am on my way to the theater. My optometrist was amused by this and said, “so, you just walk around blurry most of the time? Well, that actually isn’t terrible for your eyes, so maybe it’s a good thing!”

This is only the second time I’ve seen him, yet this time, we actually had a pretty good conversation about blindness, the optometry profession in general, and how passionate he is about using technology to solve for vision problems he’s seen in his nearly 20-year tenure in the industry. He works in two practices, frequently gives lectures at different optometry schools, and also is employed in a health technology company that is aiming to create tech to solve for different types of blindness. His grit and passion were evident. He joked and said that he rarely has time to date, but when he does tweak his online dating ads, he always says he’s unavailable during the day on Saturdays and Sundays.

I don’t often have such lengthy conversations with my doctors, but this one was quite inspiring. His level of empathy and caring were a bit surprising, but I guess empathy isn’t necessarily a trait that is straight-up taught in medical or optometry schools according to what he told me.

 

Bling and rings

Like I posted about recently, several of the male friends closest to me all agreed and said that during interviews, engagement/wedding rings should be taken off. Consciously, we know we’re not supposed to judge people based on their personal lives, but we cannot control our subconscious. Of course, during a job interview, the interviewer would be discreet in observing something like that, as it would be illegal to ask “Are you married?” or “Are you expecting to have children soon?” But, noticing details like whether a woman is wearing an engagement ring or wedding band in a purely social setting can also be discreet, too. It’s just that… some men choose not to be discreet about it.

I was at my friend’s birthday event tonight, and two different men, friends of my friend, in two completely different conversations, called out my wedding rings and how “shiny” they were, and asked when I got married. Is this what the world has come to now? Is our conversation so boring that you had to ask me about my marriage, or were you secretly hoping that I was single because you thought I was really cute or had a pretty laugh, and then got disappointed when you found out that I had bling on my fingers? Because in both of those conversations, after we discussed my husband and my wedding and even my rings, those conversations completely ended.

What ever happened to just being friends with the opposite sex? Now that I’m married, I’m no longer able to make new male friends? I swear that these people secretly teamed up with my mother because she’d love to hear this story right now and insist that I should not associate with any men outside of my husband, family, and work (and only for work purposes).

Scandalous

Sometimes, the world seems like a very large place. That is, until you realize that the people you have met know other people you know and associate with even though they are all from very different places, and then you find out that your friends are sharing scandalous details of the lives of people you interacted with only once or twice.

I recently interviewed with a company that I decided in the end I was not going to be serious about, and the primary hiring manager seemed unusually kind and sensitive. If I had to be a little paranoid about this, I’d even go so far as to say that he may have been interested in me. While all that is flattering, what is not flattering is what I just learned about him through a friend, whose company partners with his. My friend told me that he found out recently through a mutual source that this guy was fired from a previous company for using company dollars to take out over 20 different women on dates, and also was caught sending naked photos of himself to female employees at that company. My friend said to me, “This isn’t the kind of person you want to associate with!” I laughed and said, “Well, it’s clear you don’t want me to associate with him because you’re trying to be my protector.”

Good friends want to protect you from crap. And good friends also want to make sure you know the truth. I told Chris this story, and he responded, “But that is just what happens every day.” He doesn’t think this is scandalous. I guess in some ways, it isn’t because the expensing of personal expenses — it’s very likely true (as I have personally seen from those around me without naming names) that people do this all the time; what ends up mattering in the end is who gets caught. This is the world we live in. Integrity is not a given anymore.

 

Interviewing – the two-way street

I cannot even count how many interviews I have been on since my college years, when I was interviewing for different internship opportunities in San Francisco, Boston, and New York. I’ve had so many good and really terrible experiences, but I would say that one of the worst ones I’ve ever had happened this week.

There’s really nothing worse than interviewing at a company that does not have the foresight to realize that in a job interview, “interviewing” is happening on two sides: the company is evaluating the prospective employee to see if s/he will be a fit for the role and company, and the prospective employee is also at the same time evaluating the company and every single person s/he is meeting with to see if this role, team, company, and culture being presented is going to be a match. It is disheartening when companies do not realize that prospectives are evaluating them, and instead choose to see their companies as the “catch” and don’t work to “sell” who they are to the prospectives. This happened on Monday, when I had a phone interview with two hiring managers. One hiring manager said little to nothing, showing he did not care to ask questions or really elaborate on anything, and the second hiring manager was basically reading questions off his “interview question list” as he called it and had no real social skills conveyed over the phone. He was awkward, monotone, and did not seem to sell through why it would be great to work at their company. It was all about their technology stack and nothing else. I’d sum this interaction up in three words: dry, humorless, and completely uninspiring.

These are the types of tech companies that shoo away talent. No one wants to work with a bunch of lifeless, monotone robots.

Tornado about to hit

I woke up from a nightmare this morning. I had a dream I was still living at home (that in itself is nightmare enough, and I could end the story there, but that’s not all there is), and I was frantically cleaning the house in anticipation of my mother coming home from work. I had this feeling in my stomach that she was going to be really angry and take all of her work-related stress out on us. I guess that stems from what used to happen when we were young, and she’d be upset from whatever dramas were occurring at her office. Ed used to always say that she would take all her work aggression out on us. Ed was sitting on the couch, pretending to dust some side tables, and I asked him why he wasn’t helping me clean. “What’s the point? She’s going to come home and turn the house upside down anyway because nothing is ever clean or tidy enough for her,” he retorted. Great. Now that meant I had to clean that much faster. The tornado was about to come.

I was sweeping up some dirt on the kitchen floor when she came through the door. My dad oddly was creating even more work for me, as he used his hand to sweep off some dust from the counter onto the floor I was sweeping. I was not happy. I heard my mother’s voice bellowing from the front of the house, asking why there is all this junk on the coffee table.

Family anxiety is never too far away, even when that family is thousands of miles away.

“Yogurt”

Many articles have recently been written about whether it’s accurate to be labeling nut beverages “milk” — e.g. almond “milk,” cashew “milk,” walnut “milk.” Milk, in its technical definition, actually has to come from an animal, whether it’s a cow, sheep, or human being. Beverages that are thus derived from almonds or cashews therefore would not count as “milk.” Could the same then be said for yogurts that are made from nuts and get their probiotics externally?

Here is the definition for “yogurt” in the dictionary:

yo·gurt    —-> ˈyōɡərt/

noun
noun: yogurt; plural noun: yogurts; noun: yoghourt; plural noun: yoghourts; noun: yoghurt; plural noun: yoghurts
  1. a semisolid sourish food prepared from milk fermented by added bacteria, often sweetened and flavored.

If this is the case, then shouldn’t coconut “yogurt” and cashew “yogurt” be wrong in speech and therefore renamed? Speaking of which, I just bought coconut “yogurt” on sale at Fairway to find out that it tastes absolutely disgusting, and you should never waste money and buy it.

Stella is coming

Back to reality and the cold that is still New York City here in March. We’ve just passed Daylight Savings Time, yet spring seems so far away. The snow storm is coming (she has a name; Stella!). And me not thinking at all, I went to the grocery store at around 5:45, thinking that I should really get all the household staples for the week. That was really smart.

I arrived at Fairway on 86th street, and the “no cart” line is so long that it wraps around the produce section and nearly goes out the front door. The pasta shelf is nearly empty, and I literally grabbed the very last half gallon of whole milk. People’s carts are filled with not fresh produce, but mostly boxed and processed foods… you know, things for quick reheating and instant gratification and hunger satiation. Everyone on the Upper East Side of Manhattan seems to think that tomorrow, people will literally all be snowed in and trapped in their apartments. Yet, according to today’s weather report, the snow is meant to stop at around 2pm tomorrow. No one is going to work who can work from home. New Yorkers are always overreacting to every little threat of bad weather. It’s comical at times, except when I have to deal with the long lines that are a result of everyone’s shared paranoia.