In the last few weeks, I can definitely tell that my breasts and areolas have been getting larger. A few times, I’ve looked in the mirror and wondered if I was really actually looking at myself; those boobs definitely did NOT look like mine! My body has been changing slowly and surely due to pregnancy, and it’s been interesting to watch and feel the changes. The female body is so incredibly complex; I’ve only really started appreciating it daily because of being pregnant.

While running on a treadmill with my usual sports bra, for the very first time a few weeks ago, I could feel my breasts moving up and down, which was not a comfortable feeling at all. Being an A-cup all my life until now, “coverage” and “support” didn’t really mean that much to me… until now. Some of my sports bras to date just are not going to cut it with my breasts getting larger, so I’m going to have to invest in some new support. In addition, when dressing this morning, I tried to put on my one strapless bra, and I could tell it was getting snug and that my breasts barely fit it anymore. A bra extender wouldn’t even help with this as the actual cups are just a tad too small now.

These are the marvels of the female body while growing a new tiny human being. I’m really in awe of what my body is capable of.

To date, I’d say that I’ve been pretty lucky with my pregnancy symptoms. I have only had two short bouts of nausea, a little bit of dizziness when getting up quickly out of bed or my chair, and the bloating I felt after eating regular-sized meals seems to have subsided after I took some online advice and reduced the size of my meals as well as ate smaller snacks throughout the day. The strangest feeling from a pregnancy symptom perspective is definitely the burning and sore hips. It was so foreign when I first felt it, but now I understand why it happened.

I’m still peeing a lot; in the last few days, I still need to wake up 2-4 times per night to use the restroom. It’s inconvenient, but I suppose it could be a lot worse. I’ve had some feeling of round ligament pain. My breasts are still always sore, especially in the morning, and they’ve been getting quite large for me. I can’t even recognize my areolas! This breast size increase would have been really helpful for me when I was a teen, always trying on clothes that never seemed to fit properly on the chest for me and constantly getting frustrated by this.

This week in particular, I’ve also felt more tension and tightness around my lower abdomen. According to the pregnancy week by week tracker, week 12, which is what we’re in now (!!), is the week where stomach and lower abdomen tightness is normal, as the uterus is supposed to be gradually moving up from the lower abdomen into the forefront of where my stomach is.

My fatigue has been fading thankfully, which is also supposed to be normal as I near the end of the first trimester. Energy increase is supposed to happen as the second trimester approaches. I’m looking forward to see how my body changes and documenting it, fingers crossed.

There are a lot of “body maintenance” or “grooming” activities I absolutely hate doing: I dislike shaving. I hate the act of washing my hair. I really, really hate flossing (though I do it every single night because I know I have bad genes when it comes to dental health). Clipping nails is also extremely tedious; I’m especially terrible at filing my nails. Even after I think I’ve filed them very carefully, I always manage to get a nail snagged on some towel or piece of clothing within an hour or so after.

So when I started realizing that my nails were growing at a much faster rate in the last few weeks, I felt a bit torn. On the one hand, I recognize this is a really common (and for most women, pleasant) pregnancy side effect: the increase in hormones in your body results in faster hair and nail growth, and these are all positive signs for pregnancy. However, on the other hand, I felt annoyed: this means I will have to cut my nails more often, which I hate doing! The last time I cut my nails was literally a week and a half ago, and this past weekend, they were so long and annoying, especially while cooking. I got all kinds of gross food bits stuck under my nails, which looks really unattractive and dirty. Immediately, I knew I needed to cut them yet again. I usually never have to cut them this often, so I knew for a fact that the quick growth was due to pregnancy.

On Thursdays during the pandemic, we look forward to ordering food delivery from a local restaurant, not just to increase the variety of the food we are eating but also to support our local restaurants, who clearly need all the business they can get during these times. Today, Chris decided to order Korean from a spot near Koreatown called Cho Dang Gol, and as he usually does he ordered a large variety of dishes to last a number of days. As I opened each of the containers, I was struck by the smell of one of them specifically: it was a fried fish dish, and while I am normally a fish lover and look forward to all things seafood, the smell just seemed off to me. But, there’s no way the food itself could have been off… Cho Dang Gol is a reputed restaurant we’d eaten at numerous times. What was going on?

I tried to ignore the initial disgust reaction I had when I opened the container, and Chris served us a little of each dish. The fish was also on my plate. When I originally took a bite into it, while it felt meaty and chewy in my mouth, I could not get over the smell. It just smelled… rotten to me. My brain knew it wasn’t rotten, but I couldn’t get over the smell. I did not want to waste the food, so I didn’t spit it out and forced myself to swallow it. But I knew if I tried eating the rest of the fish on my plate, I’d probably throw up.

I told Chris that the smell made me feel nauseated, so he told me to stop eating it and to leave it aside. We continued eating our dinner, and he said, pensively, “I hope this is just temporary.”

Who’s he telling that? Fish is one of my favorite things to eat, especially SALMON or any other fatty fish. The added bonus is that it’s in general healthier than meat and is rarely lacking for flavor. And with Asian preparations, fish is so quick and easy to make.

I’d heard from many people about random food aversions during their pregnancies, especially to foods they absolutely love normally. Is fish going to be it for me?

I went by myself today to my seven-week appointment at the clinic. On my walk over, I realized that if all goes well, this will be my third to last visit before I graduate. It was a bittersweet thought, especially since there are some individuals who work here who I really have enjoyed seeing regularly, like my sonographer.

During my scan, all looked well. One twin is growing a little faster than the other, which is normal, as the sonographer and doctor both shared; it’s pretty much impossible to have both twins growing at the exact same rate. But the real stopper was when Mina let me listen to both of their little heartbeats. This week, they have both grown to the size of blueberries and are just beginning to sprout arms and legs. I heard both heart beats loud and clear and almost stopped breathing: my tiny little babies have super strong heart beats. I just couldn’t believe how surreal it was. They are both between 131-134 beats per minute, which is exactly in the range where they should be, the nurse later called to explain to me.

After each appointment and nurse call in the last week, I’ve let out a huge breath of relief to hear that everything has been progressing well. I’m hopeful yet anxious that all continues to move forward in a positive direction.

My two little babies; I still just can’t believe it.

It was Chris’s day off today, so I asked him to go out and pick me up some matzo ball soup. He is not a fan of it and thinks it is bland, boring, and a waste of space, but when he came back, he did deliver: I had a family-size container of matzo ball soup all to myself. I salivated a little while looking at the bag. They say that another pregnancy symptom is when you drool more often than usual. I guess I fit the bill.

One additional annoying pregnancy symptom I’ve been having since late last week is that I cannot sleep through the night without having to get up to pee. I’ve had to get up once or twice every night to pee, and I have no idea where all this liquid is coming from. I don’t even drink that much before bed, yet somehow I have enough urine stored up in me for two long pee sessions in the wee hours of the night! And this is supposedly just the beginning; once I start getting bigger, my uterus is supposed to put pressure on my bladder, which will cause me to pee even more often than I already am. Chris makes fun of me and says that pregnant or not pregnant, I pee like a fountain anyway, so what’s the difference?

I also had my first bout of dizziness and nausea at the same time today. I was about to go into back to back Zoom meetings, and I felt like throwing up, but I had nothing to vomit up. I went to lie down for about 15 minutes before my next call and continued to sip hot water. And once the meetings were over, I went to boil some ginger since ginger/ginger tea is supposed to help with nausea. I was lucky in that it was temporary; it didn’t last longer than two hours.

Even though these symptoms are all annoying, I feel grateful to be pregnant. In a weird way, I feel grateful to have all these symptoms to “show” I am pregnant. Every morning I wake up, and I cannot believe I am actually pregnant. I’ve been waiting for almost two years to get a positive pregnancy test or to have someone exclaim, “You’re pregnant!” and it’s finally here. I hope I can continue to be cautiously optimistic and that my body will take care of the growing embryo inside of me. I’m trying to be as hopeful as possible.

Bloating is a funny thing. Most people associate it with eating certain foods. But for me, I’ve never really gotten it from the “usual suspects” of fried foods, dairy, or gluten. Sometimes I get it post ovulation. Other times, I’ve gotten it as an indicator that my period is about to come. In the last day, though, it just feels like excess air being stored in my lower abdomen. I keep wanting to burp or fart, yet I cannot because nothing seems to come out.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to pee, and when I went back to bed, even though I felt exhausted, I could not fall back asleep because of the amount of bloat. I kept trying to release it. I drank more water. Nothing seemed to help. It lasted for over an hour, and finally I was able to release it both ways and felt relieved. And then, I went back to sleep.

Well, pregnancy symptoms… Bring it on. I can handle it.

Halfway through this afternoon while working, not only did my breasts feel super sore, but I started feeling really exhausted. My body just felt tired. These are supposed to be part of the collection of the many early pregnancy symptoms. The dull pressure and heat was still lingering in my hips, but now I just felt tired overall. So I spent the evening reading a little, lying down, and resting my eyes. I also did a bit more pregnancy yoga and my usual nightly meditation, which has been helpful in calming my nerves.

“Listen to your body and ramp up slowly,” all the pregnancy guides always say when it comes to activity, exercise, doing anything while pregnant. They say you should be doing exercise that “energizes you instead of exhausts you.” So in other words, you probably shouldn’t be doing 500 burpees nonstop or all your usual HIIT routines. A lot of really conservative sites and “professionals” will say not to do any exercise outside of brisk walking and light stretching. But that definitely does not make sense at all for someone who previously was very active and exercised all the time (that’s ME!). While I haven’t felt totally comfortable going back to running just yet, I have been ramping up my exercise again. If we get to week 6, which is when we should be able to detect a fetal heartbeat, maybe then I’ll feel comfortable running again. I’m just taking it all day by day, including exercise ramp up.