Last night, I went to the Madison Square Eats market that will be going on from now through end of the summer. I bought a $9 Roberta’s pizza, an $8 soju cocktail, a $4 pork belly bun from Hong Kong Street Food, and a $2.50 cannoli from Stuffed Cannoli. I shared some of this with friends, so for food I did not finish just by myself, I paid $23.50. I felt hungry later that night. Chris went to a Turkish restaurant for dinner in Coney Island, and for a massive table of beautiful meats, breads, and vegetables, overflowing alcohol, dessert, and Turkish coffee, including tax and tip, he paid $30. And there was a lot leftover. I feel ripped off and refuse to go to another food market in New York again to get a meal.

After almost five years of living in New York, I finally went to the top of the Empire State Building tonight. My friend from San Francisco is visiting, and she really wanted to go up. Despite the beautiful view at night of the city and different perspectives, it wasn’t worth the wait, especially when you compare it to the Top of the Rock. The Top of the Rock is cheaper, the wait is almost nonexistent, and the views are more stunning than from the top of the Empire State Building. You can see the breathtaking 180-degree view of Central Park plopped in the middle of Manhattan, and actually take pictures of the Empire State Building. And there’s no barbed wire in your way (and in your photos).

From my baby photos, you can tell I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I grew up in a family where I was the first girl to be born, so I got boys’ hand-me-downs since as parents love to say, “they’re going to outgrow it in a week anyway; they grow so fast!” I am now surrounded by women who are either thinking about or planning to have children soon, and all they want to do is dress their future babies in Jacadi and give them 100% organically made toys. They turn their noses up at Babies R Us and say their kids “are above that.” Why is the world so superficial, or is it just New Yorkers?

In New York, we have too many choices for things to do and what to eat that sometimes, none of us can make up our mind. When lunch time rolls around at the office, and our team has decided we want to eat out, we can never seem to come to a smooth consensus. The easiest way to break this would be to suggest McDonald’s. It’s easily the “worst” place to eat, so once someone mentions this, everyone else will refute it, go crazy, and options will abound on where to eat. Problem solved. Name the worst possible place, and then everyone will want to defeat it. Got to love competition.

Dogs are considered man’s best friend because of their loyalty to their owners. Unfortunately, that loyalty didn’t grant them the position of being at the top of the food chain. Loyalty in New York seems almost naive; you don’t stay with a company because you are loyal to your manager or the company; you stay because you know the benefits outweigh the costs of leaving for you. Loyalty isn’t valued unless you are lucky enough to find someone who genuinely cares about you (doesn’t happen very often here). A wise person once said to me when I had two job choices I was torn between, “you don’t choose a company because you like that person who interviewed you. He could leave one day soon, and then what are you there for?”

One of my best friends is coming to visit for the third time since I have lived in New York, and she is ecstatic. She already has a list of places she wants to visit (Museum of Natural History) and where she wants to eat (Amy Ruth’s). No matter what time of the year, there always seems to be a million different things to do here that I never feel like I can come close to finishing it. Just when I think I’ve tried the best places, yet another 10 open that seem intriguing. It sounds fun and all, but then it gets to be a bit exhausting. Sometimes, I just want to relax and not try anything new and rely on old favorites.

My friend is going through a mini quarter-life crisis. She just sent an email asking me what I thought the purpose or meaning of life was, and I felt like I had to think about it before responding. But after thinking about it, it’s all a lot more than all of the superficial crap that we are surrounded with – money, designer name products, diamonds, even luxurious trips around the world. It’s about our relationships with people, with animals, with things. If we all had deep, fulfilling relationships with those in our lives, we would feel happy and satisfied. But then what if everyone in your life in proximity to you is not fulfilling you? Then what do you do?

Last December, I visited Australia for the first time to realize what it meant to be immersed in an obsessed coffee culture. Although I grew up with a dad who is a complete coffee fanatic, I had no idea how pathetic overall quality coffee accessibility was here. Everywhere we went in Australia, I never saw a single person pour milk from a carton into their coffee – steamed milk only! Australians do not just drink coffee for the caffeine and morning jolt; they are drinking it because it’s supposed to taste good and be prepared well. Yet if you are in New York, sadly if you want this, you will probably need to wait in a line of at least 15-25 people at any given time of the day at Stumptown or Blue Bottle. Oh, and you will also be labeled a “hipster.”

Tonight, we went to see Sans Merci, a play about a lesbian woman who gets brutally injured in Colombia, who finally meets the mother of her college lover, who died in the same attack three years before. The mother does not approve of her now dead daughter’s relationship, yet she says expresses that “love is the intersection of two poetries,” yet each person’s poetry is a different type of madness, so when those poetries collide, they create intense passion, protectiveness, and rage. If this is truly the case, does that mean that if your love survives, that you then have achieved the most ultimate form of poetry, and thus total madness in your life?

In the almost four years that I have been at my company, there have been constant changes. We’ve had five different CEOs, mass structural changes, and plenty of turnover to the point that I am now considered one of the “OGs” of the company. Most people who have started after me have already left. Whenever someone is “out of office” for an “appointment,” everyone immediately thinks that s/he is interviewing. I have been made fun of for that for the last three years (e.g. “So how was your interview – er, I mean, doctor’s appointment?”). It’s an obvious sign that company morale is terrible when everyone just anticipates that everyone else is on their way out.