My previous primary care doctor stopped accepting Aetna insurance, which is just completely insane when you think about it: Next to United Healthcare, Aetna is likely the largest health insurance provider in New York. She has stated on her website that for new patients, she is only accepting them as “out of network” or with no health insurance. Well, isn’t that nice for her and awful for the rest of us. Even though I did like her and found her to be one of the best doctors I’ve had in terms of patience and bedside manner, all this just feels very greedy to me, and it made me mad to see this on her website before I had attempted to make an appointment.

So I ended up going to ZocDoc and choosing the least terrible GP option with availability in the next week, along with less than 10 blocks walking distance from the apartment (because… why would I travel for a doctor who I was unlikely to stay with?!). The doctor I ended up seeing belongs to Summit Health, which merged with CityMD. And when I walked into the office today, I couldn’t believe how swanky it was, not to mention how spacious. How do these people afford this rent??

It was a straightforward appointment, with little surprises or interest anywhere. The doctor seemed nice enough, but she wasn’t the kind of person I’d want to see again unless it was really necessary. She asked all the usual questions and had an assistant with us the entire time. I just feel like finding a good doctor you want to stick with, who you actually think cares about you even remotely, is nearly impossible. That’s why finding a doctor stinks. That’s why making the appointments isn’t fun. It’s like you can’t even pay people to care about you.

The last couple of days, I may have slept funny, which has resulted in my back and neck feeling extremely tight. Rolling my neck feels really tight and uncomfortable, and my back… well, it just feels like it needs someone to walk on it, but that wouldn’t be such a great idea since it’s my upper back area near my shoulders. That thought made me remember a time a few years ago when I worked in an office, and a colleague had some knots in his back and asked if any of us were willing to stand on his back to help him get them out. Everyone else did a double take and stayed silent, and I said, hey, if it works, then I’m happy to do it if you want! So I did.

Twenty years ago, I had no idea what it was like to have weird knots or stiff feelings in my neck or back, or even to get little injuries in my legs or IT band or piriformis muscles. It’s like all these things started happening to me once I hit my 30s. I’m still physically active and in good shape, relatively speaking, but my body is just getting older. And I’m definitely feeling it. And thank goodness for tiger balm.

I always feel a little conflicted when I hear this question, or when I even think about it from my own experience. It always comes with an assumption that New York, given how urban and dense the city is, is not baby friendly. It’s not that it’s baby unfriendly: you see endless babies in strollers and carriers literally everywhere you go. Public transportation actually exists here and is functional, so you technically don’t even need a car to cart your babies around. The issues that always come to mind first for myself are the fact that if Chris weren’t with me, there’s pretty much no way I could carry Kaia and her stroller up and down the subway stairs by myself, not just because I lack the physical strength, but more because of my wrist/hand problems. Plus, when you go into the majority of restaurants, they will not have changing stations/tables for you in the restrooms to easily change your baby’s diaper, so I end up having to put her changing pad on some dirty bathroom floor and change her there. Once, I even let her sit down on the dirty bathroom floor (well, she refused to sit still on the changing pad!!) because I (ugh) smeared poop on my hands, and there was no way I was going to get it off just by washing one hand at a time as I usually do when I have changed her. And the latest realization: a lot of restaurants here just don’t have high chairs because they do not assume you will be bringing a baby with you to dine. And many restaurants, especially the further downtown you go, will not be spacious enough for you to push your stroller inside.

But the United States is not baby friendly overall for endless reasons that I won’t go into here. But if it is unfriendly for no other reason, it’s that the vast majority of people who live in this country need to have a car to get around… it’s an absolute necessity. And that’s kind of annoying. It seems easier to have a car when you have a kid because you can just leave the car seat in the car, dump the stroller broken down into the trunk. That’s what my friends who have children always say, and they say they cannot imagine being me, hauling a stroller up and down subway stairs every weekend. But is it actually easier to live in one of those places that requires car ownership… when this means you have to… rely on yourself more and less on society itself?

Getting the reservation for our group of customers, prospects, and fellow employees was not easy tonight. One of my colleagues happened to have a father-in-law who owns a food distribution company that distributes to The Polo Bar, so he was able to call in a favor for us. We got a corner table that was semi-private. I knew this place was a trendy, celebrity-type hot spot as soon as I got out of the car in front of the entrance. There were two hostesses waiting outside with clipboards. They asked me what party I was coming in with, then asked me to check in at the front podium. I went to the front podium and shared my party, then was told to check in at the SECOND podium towards the bar. At the second podium, I was asked to then walk downstairs to check in at the THIRD podium. So in the end, I had to check in FOUR times before I was escorted over by a host to my company’s table. That, plus they asked me if I wanted to bring my coat to the coat check (um, no thanks. This isn’t a night club!).

It is no wonder to me why this place is a celebrity hot spot: as soon as you walk in, it’s clear from the ambiance they’ve created, plus the clientele, that this is a place people go to see and be seen. The bar was glittering gold. All the countertops were granite and gold. Even the bathroom mirrors and sinks and fixtures were all gold. It was a little bit ridiculous how over the top everything looked, but it was clear that the vibe they were going for was old-school New York uppity vibe, even though I believe this restaurant opened just seven years ago. The service was also very good: they constantly hover over to ask if you need anything or would like a drink, a second or a third; they are so discreet as to always top up your glass of water or wine so that you don’t even realize they have done it until you look at your glass, wondering why it looks so full since you’d already had half of it.

The food and drink were excellent, as well. The drink menu was absolutely nuts. I asked for a cocktail menu, and the server handed me the menu and opened it directly to the page with “reserve cocktails.” I got so confused for a second and wondered, why are all the cocktails $90+ each???? And then I realized that “reserve” meant that these cocktails were being stirred or shaken with the top, TOP shelf alcohol. The bottles were likely hundreds if not a thousand dollars each. And I asked the server, “So, how can I see the… regular cocktails?” He flipped the page for me. Oh, okay, got it: those are $23+ each. I guess my company can stomach that cost better.

It was a fun night of good food, service, ambiance, and decent company. I could get used to these events again. And yes, that $23 anejo tequila cocktail was likely one of the best cocktails I’ve ever enjoyed.