Kaia’s growing vocabulary and awareness

In the beginning, I was keeping a running list of Kaia’s words, but now, I can’t even keep up anymore. She says new words (and seemingly understands them) almost every single day, and more and more, she is putting words together. She watches me in the kitchen fiddling with things, and she says, “Mummy cooking.” She knows possessives now, so she likes to say “Mummy’s shoes!” or “daddy’s hat!” and “Kaia’s (insert literally everything of hers).” Today, she grabbed Chris’s hat and said “This is Daddy’s hat.” She identifies when I’m brushing or flossing my teeth. She declares when Chris is showering. She also preemptively identifies that we’re going to tell her she can’t do something: “No Rachel!” “No phone!” “No, Kaia!”

What I really love (well, this sentiment has not changed, but it’s just gotten more fun) is when we read together, and I stop before the end of the sentence to let her finish and say the last word or two. It’s really cute. She’s not only remembering but she seems to know the meaning of many of these words, which is really gratifying to watch. She does this with books we haven’t read it months, too. She even surprised me the other day when I was changing her diaper and singing the chorus of “Mouse Loves Big Rice,” a Chinese song, and she started singing along with me. She’s heard this song over and over since she was a newborn, but this was the first time she’d ever shown any affinity or understanding of what I sang. I find it so sweet. Every time something like this happens, I wish I could just have a camera recording the entire moment so I could capture it forever. But alas, it doesn’t always work out. I always try to replicate it subsequently, and of course, my little cheeky baby runs off to her next thing to discover or plow through. And of course, she loves to give me her little cheeky smile, laugh, and then yell out, “Cheeky! Cheeky! Cheeky baby!”

Rainy weekend days in New York

The weather forecast looked quite bleak for the weekend. It looks like based on a tropical storm coming in, most of the northeast of the U.S. would be covered in rain. This is never fun for us, as we like to be out and about, going from one place to another in a chosen neighborhood that Chris randomly picks. When we saw the rain, Chris got dragged down and didn’t originally want to go out. I insisted we go out, even if it wasn’t that far: why the hell are we going to let a little drizzle prevent us from going outside? It reminded me of many pathetic people I’ve met who have bailed on social plans simply because of a little rain. So what – your whole life has to stop because of some water coming down from the sky? It’s not like it was hailing or as though sheets of rain were coming down nonstop throughout the day.

So we went out — down to Brooklyn to the DeKalb Market Hall. It looks like a lot of other people had a similar idea to us: the place had lots of people roaming around and sitting to eat. The streets actually had a bit of foot traffic. And before we headed back home, we stopped and sat at Debutea, the same bubble tea spot we visited just last month that makes all their own boba and does everything from scratch. Given the rain, the place had very few people in it, which was nice for us, since it meant that Kaia could more freely roam around and not bother anyone. One cute thing she did was she knocked into someone who was seated and scrolling on her phone, and as soon as she bumped into the chair, she immediately said, “Sorry!” The woman was so engrossed on her phone, though, and barely noticed the bump or the fact that a tiny human apologized. I had never witnessed Kaia proactively apologize for anything she’s done, so it was cute and fun to watch.

Day 2 of waking up at 6am to ensure 1 full hour of exercise

I had another 9am meeting this morning, so for the second day in a row, I woke up at 6am to get down to the gym by 6:20 for another intense workout. Right now, my gauge for whether my workout was good is if my heart rate is in the “heart rate calorie burn zone” (I measured it the first few days this week, but now I have a good way of gauging based on how I feel), and if throughout and at the end, if I still have sweat coming down my eyes (a really annoying feeling, but one that is strangely gratifying because I know I’m pushing myself).

Was it hard to wake up an hour early? Yes. But I know I can keep doing if if I keep my mind at it. I was able to do it over ten years ago, so I know I can do it now. While waking up early is not a fun or painless thing for me to do, what I’ve felt the last two days is far less rushed than I normally feel. I actually feel like I have more time to shower, get ready, and go through emails. I have more time to prepare tea when I want to do a double boil of chai. I don’t feel anywhere as time pressed. It’s nice to get on with my morning in a more leisurely manner rather than bulldozing through actions.

We’ll see how I can keep this up.

A “surprise” Zoom call that is met with dismay

This afternoon, my aunt texted me to ask if I had time at 7 tonight for a quick Zoom call. She said that she was able to get temporary unlimited call access on Zoom, so she wanted to surprise my mom with Kaia and me on video during their scheduled Bible study. She said it wouldn’t be more than ten minutes. 7pm is usually when we start getting Kaia ready for bed, so I agreed as long as it would be quick.

Honestly, I wasn’t even sure why my aunt thought this would be a good idea. A couple of times over the years, my aunt has brought the phone over to my parents when she’s FaceTimed me, and my mom has never responded positively to it. She always says video is unnecessary. She shies away from the phone and tries to hide her face. She waves her hand and says “No! No!” to get the phone away. She doesn’t seem to understand the value of video calls. I’ve suggested doing Zoom multiple times since Kaia has been born so she could at least see her live, but every single time, my mom has refused.

So predictably tonight, when we got on the Zoom, my mom was immediately unhappy. I sat Pookster in my lap, and as soon as my mom saw us, she didn’t even smile or say hi. Instead, she frowned and said, “No, this is unnecessary,” as though we couldn’t even hear her. It was so rude and awkward. Does she realize that we can hear everything she’s saying? Who acts like that when they see someone? She cannot handle surprises, and she never behaves well when people try to do these nice things to make her happy. Everything has to be some dramatic negative event for her, something that people “push” her into that she doesn’t like.

It was just so stupid in every way possible. I constantly get asked by friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances if my parents have any plans to visit, or if we do video calls. And I always say no because it’s the truth. You’d think that my parents would want some direct contact with their only grandchild, but no. They rather see pre-recorded videos of her rather than seeing the actual person in the flesh.

Weaning from breastfeeding can cause you to gain weight. Who would have thought?

After the semi-annoying elevator exchange with my neighbor yesterday, this morning after my workout, I decided to hop on the scale (my first time since the beginning of the year). Last year, I’d had my weight checked a number of times: at my two OB-GYN visits, at my endocrinologist’s office, and a handful of times at home. I was proud to say that last year, I’d actually lost pretty much all my pregnancy/baby weight as of September and was back at my pre-pregnancy weight of 117 pounds. I wasn’t even sure how that happened so quickly, but I figured it was due to 1) genes, 2) lifestyle and diet, including exercising regularly, and 3) breastfeeding/pumping.

I’ve never been a scale checker; I never even owned a scale before I lived with Chris. So I always gauged my “weight” by how I felt and how I fit into my clothes. Around June of this year, I went to purchase new pants. Since the summer was quite hot, I actually hadn’t worn those pants (or any pants, for that matter) until this month… when I realized that the pants felt very snug around my waist and stomach. I already knew I had developed more belly fat at the beginning of the summer when I put on my swimsuit and looked at myself in the mirror; I wasn’t totally pleased with what I saw, but I tried to do more core strengthening work to address it. Then, because husbands always do what they do, Chris commented a couple times that he was surprised I had developed a little belly. “It must be because you aren’t pumping anymore! Maybe you need to start pumping again!” he teased, while poking at my belly.

That was not nice, but that was just a reminder to me of what I already knew: I was developing more fat around my mid-section.

So I hopped on the scale this morning, and BAM: there was a scary number staring back up at me: 129 pounds. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I knew I had gained weight, but TWELVE EXTRA POUNDS?

I did some quick Google searches, and alas, it’s really because of weaning: it’s very common for mothers who breastfeed to gain weight once they wean. The reason for this is a sudden change of hormone levels that no longer push prolactin (the breastfeeding hormone) and instead push estrogen (they are at odds with each other hormonally). Your body is also adapting to no longer using up a large amount of energy (calories) to create and pump out breast milk for your baby. Your body is essentially adapting to a new normal, a new, postpartum, post-breastfeeding state. Who knew that at 21 months postpartum, I’d still be thinking and talking about my “postpartum state”?!

Late last week, I was already starting to incorporate different low impact workouts to vary things up for myself. But now, I’m also thinking about re-jiggering my workouts so that I always have an hour dedicated on weekday mornings. So many times, I’ve had to cut it short due to morning work calls. If it means I need to wake up earlier to do it, then so be it. Ten years ago to lose weight and get in shape, I used to wake up at 5:45am several mornings a week to go to bikram yoga! And when I wasn’t doing that, I woke up at 6am to get to a 7am hour-long workout class, and then worked out another half hour since I didn’t want to go to the office that early! If I could do it then, then I can definitely do it now, especially with a gym right in my building. I have no excuses, even with a toddler to help get ready every morning. I am definitely doing this: Operation Lose 12 Pounds in the next several months.

Neighbor thought I was fat when I was actually pregnant.

Since we moved into this building in 2017, there is a small handful of faces I recognize who are still here, and we oftentimes will say hi and exchange pleasantries. One of these guys used to be in the gym with me pre-pandemic, but since then, he’s always sitting in our building lounge with a direct view of the elevators. So when I get off on that floor, which is the same level as our gym, he generally will always see me get on and off, and we’ll wave to acknowledge each other just to be friendly.

We happened to run into each other in the elevator today when I went to pick up Pookster from school. He asked me how my workouts have been going, and I told him that I might have overworked my legs yesterday because they are extremely sore today. Out of nowhere, he says, “Can I be honest, and I hope you aren’t offended… you have lost, so, SO much weight since last year and look great!”

I was so confused. What is he referring to? I haven’t lost weight since last year…? And then it suddenly hit me, AFTER I got out of the elevator: he likely confused this for when I was actually pregnant — you know, he probably thought I was fat when in reality, I was actually growing and carrying a BABY? Most people’s perceptions of time have been muddied from 2020 through now, so everything seems to blend.

Freakin’ men. Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.

Bo ssam on a Monday night

One of the greatest things about working from home is the level of flexibility I have, plus the extra time I have to do things that is *not* spent on commuting. When I’m working from home, it’s easy for me to take breaks by stretching my body out, doing wrist/elbow exercises with small weights to keep my mild carpal/cubital tunnel in check, and even do meal prep for dinner. This Monday, I had only a couple meetings in the early afternoon, so before I started my work day, I popped a six-pound pork shoulder into the oven at 300 F to slow roast for the next six hours. It would be ready just in time for dinner after I’d bring Pookster home from school. I’d periodically take a peek in the oven to see how it was doing, but other than that, it was pretty hands off, as the oven does all the work: that’s the beauty of “low and slow” with the oven or the Instant Pot, my most preferred ways of preparing weeknight meals.

Yesterday, I had already brined the pork shoulder, plus prepared two sauces: one ginger scallion sauce, and one ssam sauce (a mix of dwenjang, gochuchang, oil, vinegar, and honey). So once the bo ssam was ready, I just had to let it rest and cool, cut it, and then wash lettuce leaves to wrap.

Now, we have pork and sauces to eat the rest of the week. It’s a pretty good homemade meal week for us.

Weekend naps for toddlers: every parent’s challenge

One of the greatest things about daycare/school, at least for our family, is that Kaia is positively peer pressured into a routine, especially the midday nap that happens anywhere between 12-2:45. After the class has their morning activities and lunch, the teachers check and change diapers, then put all the kiddos down for a nap on their little cots. And since day 1, Kaia immediately got into that routine with no fuss at all; the teachers have always said she’s been a good napper and has never resisted napping.

On Saturdays, we usually are out and about, and during that time, Kaia will usually fall asleep and have her nap in the stroller. So during the seven days of the week, Sunday is the worst day for us to get her to actually nap. We’ve tried getting her to sleep on her bed, on our bed, and it rarely works. Napping at home is a nightmare on Sundays. We usually resort to taking her on a stroll to nowhere, on the streets of the Upper West Side, to see if the movement will get her to finally pass out. So this afternoon, when I was pushing her around outside, I noticed all these other parents pushing their babies and toddlers in their strollers, and I thought… are they all trying to get their kids to nap, too?

This afternoon, I was in the elevator at Target trying to go down, and another mom got in with me and her son, who looked to be a similar age to Pookster. She asked me how old Pooks was, and I responded, and found out that her son was just two months older.

“I don’t really need to buy anything; I just need to move to get this kid to nap!” she whispered to me.

“ME, TOO!” I responded, laughing. “I think that’s what every parent of a young child is here in Target for!”

I left Target. I walked up to 77th and Columbus. I took Pooks to the playground. She refused the swing and insisted on running around aimlessly around the play structure. She refused to get on it. I had to fight her to get her back into the stroller. She was clearly exhausted but refusing to sleep. We strolled some more. And more. And more.

…And she finally fell asleep… at 4:15pm.

Pookster’s eating habits when other people are around

When we started eating out with Pookster, I was a little worried how distracted she’d get with other people around and all the other senses that would be stimulated. And rightly so: just after she turned 11 months and we actively had to eat out with her during our first international trip to Germany and Austria, eating with her was… quite frustrating. She’d get distracted by literally everything: other people, passersby, noises, lights — you name it, and it would distract her from eating. Gradually, though, she got more used to eating out, and she would happily try new foods and actually eat the food that was presented to her.

Well, I will say that while eating at home is very different than eating outside for her, she definitely does have a tendency to be more distracted and eat less adventurously when other people are around. Whether that is when a friend comes over or when we’re out at a restaurant with family or friends, she definitely doesn’t eat as well as when it’s just the three of us. I’m not sure why it is, or if she just wants to get the attention of the other people at the table, so she can only concentrate on a select few foods at a time. Regardless, I hope this doesn’t keep up. I don’t want people thinking we’re exaggerating or lying about how well she eats since she doesn’t seem to display this adventurous eating when around others…

Little Thailand in New York City

Early on in my time in New York City, I realized that I was in a neighborhood (Elmhurst, and next to another one, Woodside!) that had excellent, authentic Thai food — Thai food that wasn’t extra sweetened with sugar or chili-reduced, but was actually true to the flavors of Thailand. The Thai restaurants of Elmhurst and Woodside do not just have the standard pad thai, pad see ew, or tom yum soup dishes (some actually do not have any of these dishes!), but dishes that regional, super spicy, and unforgiving when it comes to whether you have been exposed only to Americanized Thai food or not.

Today, I went to Elmhurst to have lunch with friends who live in Queens, and we met at a spot called Khao Nom, which I had wanted to try for a while. Part of the reason I wanted to check this spot out was due to its extensive takeout selection for Thai desserts. For the longest time, I had no idea what Thai desserts even were outside of sticky rice with mango, but after living in Elmhurst, I realized that Thai desserts overlap so much with what I was exposed to with Vietnamese desserts — lots of coconut, pandan, palm sugar, fresh exotic fruit (jackfruit! Mango!), and lots of rich flavors. Khao Nom has a large counter in the front where they line up all their desserts which you can take to go. Every day, they have anywhere from 8-12 varieties, and when I entered and saw all these lined up in neat rows, I felt like a kid in a candy shop: I had no idea how to even start narrowing down my selection! All I knew was that I couldn’t leave without fewer than three types.

Today, Khao Nom had kanom buang, which I’d seen frequently on Mark Wiens’s food videos in Thailand: Thai crispy, thin pancakes usually filled with coconut, sweet egg yolk, and even dried shrimp. They had pandan cendol, a cold summer soupy dessert with rich coconut milk and pandan. And just in time for Mid-Autumn Moon Festival at the end of this month, Khao Nom had Thai-style mooncakes. They are very flaky and buttery, filled with mashed mung bean or taro, as well as a small salted duck egg yolk. After much deliberation, I ended up choosing three desserts after our delicious lunch: Thai style taro mooncakes, Tokyo pandan (rolled Thai style pancakes filled with pandan custard), and pandan coconut mini jellies. I loved all three of them.

I was thinking about the vast variety of Thai desserts as I left the restaurant, and I thought: yep. That’s how you know if the area where you are has a high concentration of legit X-cuisine: if they have a BAKERY (or multiple, for that matter!) that can give you these types of treats!