Art history

In my sophomore year in high school, I took Advanced Placement Art History, and it was a real struggle in the beginning. I got a D on my first exam (only because of the curve; otherwise, I would have gotten an F). The lectures were incredibly boring in the beginning. Looking at old-school slide after slide of these flat paintings and sculptures was tedious and made me sleepy. I found the textbook we were using to be so long and dry, without much context for what each art period really meant in the overall context of history. Why should our history classes be separated from our art history classes, and why should European history be separated from U.S. history? None of that made sense to me then, and it still doesn’t make sense to me now. We only remember and truly understand ideas when they are in context, and it frustrates me to no end the way the education system here is set up. So, it makes sense that progressive countries with high worldwide ratings like Finland are proposing to eliminate subjects altogether and emphasize the interconnection across everything we’re supposed to learn.

I ended that year with a A in AP Art History even though my teacher then probably thought I was a complete moron (she said she was very proud of me at the end), and I also got a 5 on the AP exam (that’s right, haters — the highest score). And of the paintings that we studied that was said to be one of the most important and famous paintings in the world was Las Meninas, painted by Diego Velazquez in 1656, and at the Museo Del Prado, which we visited today in our first day in Madrid. The Mona Lisa may be the most famous painting in the world among people who don’t know much about art, but for those who study and analyze art, Las Meninas is the pinnacle, the most elusive, the most confusing and the most complex. It’s mainly because there are so many subjects in the painting, and even the painter himself is depicted in it. I always thought the little girl, Philip IV’s daughter Margaret Theresa, depicted in the foreground was the most interesting; her eyes tend to follow you in the same way that the Mona Lisa eyes follow you. I also love the way her dress, skin, and hair appear. She’s perfect, like a porcelain doll, but her expression is so odd. She’s like this little pampered, innocent creature about to be tainted by the world.

Chris said she resembles JonBenet Ramsey. I reminded him that this was in the 1600s, so way before JonBenet’s time. Maybe the Ramsey family wanted their daughter to look like the infant Margaret Theresa.

Random observations about Spain

Every time I travel, I am always looking for things that I’m not used to seeing or experiencing. These are some of the things I’ve noticed since we’ve arrived.

  1. Dogs are oftentimes not on leashes in Barcelona, and they are no where as manicured and clothed and groomed as they are in cities like New York, San Francisco, and LA. These dogs look scruffy, dirty, and like they need a brushing. They look like… dogs. Real dogs. Not the ones that get bathed and brushed and preened every day.
  2. Like in Korea, no one seems to care if you use their restaurant bathroom even if you didn’t eat or drink at their restaurant. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.
  3. Wine is so cheap here, and unlike in the U.S., cheap does not necessarily mean crappy quality. Here, cheap actually means really good wine. I suppose that’s the case in most of Europe, but it should be odd to you when a glass of extremely delicious, fruity, and easy to drink red wine is 2 euros, and your bottle of water is 4 euros. Okay, let me correct that. It should be odd to you if you are American. We really take water for granted in the U.S. in restaurants.
  4. You’ll never get water served to your table unless you ask for it. And when you do ask for it, you will definitely be paying for it. So enjoy it, and as much of it as possible.
  5. Here, we’re on Spanish time, so it will never be as on time as in countries like Japan or Korea. Your train isn’t really going to depart at exactly 8:22. Slow down, take your time, and relax.
  6. Why is the subway here so clean?! There’s not a single piece of trash on the subway tracks anywhere. In New York, it’s laden with trash to the point where we get track fires because of dumb people’s littering and laziness.
  7. In markets in New York, the common fruits and vegetables you will see are the most boring ones: apples, regular Cavenish bananas, oranges, tomatoes, carrots, broccoli. In markets in Spain, you get to see their version of “common” and “everyday,” which include cherimoyas (WHAT?!!! I’m in heaven), dragon fruit, endless artichokes, and the most beautiful and colorful tomatoes ranging in shapes, wrinkles, sizes, and colors (even purple, pink, and bright green). And the produce is cheap. It’s like robbery.
  8. There’s a massive obsession with preserved white asparagus. I really don’t get that. The clear glass bottles of preserved white asparagus are literally everywhere.
  9. People jay walk here. We really haven’t seen this at all in any other European city. Chris fits right in.

Antoni Gaudi

This trip, at least the Barcelona portion, has become the trip all about Antoni Gaudi. Yesterday, we visited his Sagrada Familia cathedral. Today, we’ve visited his Casa Batllo and La Pedrera, and tomorrow, we’ll be seeing his Parc Guell. Gaudi was a deeply religious man, and hence he was called “God’s architect.” He felt that his work was a calling from God and the Catholic faith. Though I found little information about his wealth or lack thereof, we assume based on how he died that he did not live a materially wealthy life, as he got hit by a tram during his walk to confession and was completely nondescript, wearing shabby clothing and having no identification on him. No one knew who he was and all assumed he was a beggar, so they took him to the hospital for the poor. The next day, he was recognized by the Sagrada Familia chaplain, but by that point, it was too late. He died two days after being recognized. He was 73 years old. That made me feel so sad; all of life seems to be about material wealth; people care about you if you are rich and dismiss you if they think you are poor. Or as Chris said, “Why didn’t he have any money? What a loser. This is why we need capitalism.” Great.

These moments also make me question what my purpose here on earth is. Gaudi felt that the Catholic faith drove him in his quest to build architecturally stunning works of art. What drives me to wake up every day, and what contribution am I going to be remembered for one day when I die?

Tapas education

Our first day in Barcelona began with a timed ticket to the famous Sagrada Familia cathedral built by Antoni Gaudi, the revered Catalan Spanish architect. The cathedral is one of the very few churches that Chris and I have actually paid to visit (the only only church I distinctly remember paying to get into was the Sainte Chapelle church in Paris in 2011), and after visiting it, I have zero regrets. Given the number of times it was started and stopped and incomplete, it makes sense that it shows so many influences, from Gothic to Art Nouveau to Catalan modernism. When inside the cathedral and looking up, I can’t help but feel a little spooked at how eerie the entire feeling of this massive complex is. It’s like I’m in the Twilight Zone, except this is reality. It also felt like A Nightmare Before Christmas was going to begin in the church at any moment.

If that wasn’t already surreal and overwhelming, we then went to La Boqueria, the famous market in Barcelona, and sat at Pinotxo Bar for lunch. I’ll be honest: at the risk of sounding uncool, I’d never really been that into Spanish tapas before. I was never sure if it was me or the restaurants I was going to, but there was never a Spanish restaurant I’d been to where I had small plates and thought, “wow, I can’t wait to go back there!” or that I had a craving for those same dishes again. Pinotxo Bar made me realize that there was plenty to be obsessed about with Spanish cuisine. We shared four small plates of ham and cheese croquetes, grilled venison, grilled lamb, and grilled octopus, and from that point on, I will never say I don’t care for Spanish tapas again. The croquetes were teeny tiny and literally bite-sized, but they were fried to a point where they weren’t greasy at all and had a rich melty cheese mouth feel. The venison was the best venison of my life: a bit medium rare, perfectly seasoned and gamey. The lamb was the same; no confusion about whether it was really lamb or not. But I think the octopus was really what blew both of us away. This little plate of sliced octopus was lightly grilled, then sprinkled with Spanish paprika, grey salt, and drizzled with the most delicious and fruity olive oil. The salt itself was spectacular and so distinctive that I found myself picking off tiny grains of salt off the plate and eating them.

The food was all so simply prepared but so incredibly good and satisfying. We didn’t leave too full or hungry, but just satisfied to the right point. And with rioja wine at just 2.75 euros a glass, I wondered why we hadn’t indulged in much Spanish wine before this trip. If this is what Spanish food is about, lots of small plates of simply but beautifully prepared food with perfect little ingredients, I could get used to this.

Thanksgiving vs. “friendsgiving”

Today, we’re departing for our now annual European Thanksgiving week trip, and this year, we’re headed to Spain. This is our fourth European Thanksgiving trip together: in 2013, we were in Germany; in 2014, we went to Vienna, Austria, and Budapest, Hungary; in 2015, we trekked throughout Switzerland. In our two Thanksgivings before that, we were in Ocean City, Maryland in 2011, and Puerto Rico in 2012. It’s been a trip that we both look forward to and is a new tradition we have as a family of 2.

Despite being away for the actual Thanksgiving week, I love Thanksgiving and still try to have a Thanksgiving feast with friends in the week or two before we leave. I have a lot of fond memories of having Thanksgiving dinners growing up with my family, when we were more or less altogether and somewhat cohesive. The last Thanksgiving I was home for was in November 2003, which is now over 13 years ago. It was the Thanksgiving of my last year of high school, and little did I know that I’d never come back home for Thanksgiving ever again. I’d never have a reason to. Why would you come home for Thanksgiving when your mother and your aunt are Jehovah’s Witnesses, your dad doesn’t want to participate when your mom doesn’t, your cousins and their wives don’t even want to all be in the same room together, your uncle would rather work overtime and get paid time and a half than spend a traditional family meal together, and your brother is dead because he committed suicide? Thanksgiving with family is special and matters only when the family you are going back to matters and cares about the holiday and you. If they don’t care about the holiday or you, then it’s not special and it doesn’t matter. It’s just another day on the calendar, and here in the U.S., you get at least a random Thursday off for it.

That’s why I don’t like it when people call Thanksgiving meals with friends “friendsgiving.” I completely understand why people feel a need to differentiate it; Thanksgiving is *supposed* to be with family, so you need a marker to denote that your modified Thanksgiving meal was with friends. But what if you don’t have a family, or your family doesn’t care about having a Thanksgiving meal with you either because they don’t care about Thanksgiving, you, or both, and all you have are your friends? What if you choose to have your Thanksgiving celebration with friends? Why should that be denigrated to a “friendsgiving” as opposed to a Thanksgiving? My Thanksgiving meal the last several years has been with friends; I’m not calling it “friendsgiving.” And I correct people when they say, “Oh, you had friendsgiving early.” It’s insensitive without them even realizing it.

 

New baby

Chris’s cousin and his wife have just had their third baby boy. We received the news via email two days ago, and some photos have been shared over email and our secret family Facebook group. The outpouring of congratulations and happy sentiments were quick to be shared.

It’s always amusing to think of how family news is shared in Chris’s family vs. my family. In Chris’s family, people literally scream, shout, and burst into happy dances. In my family, people either have no reaction or when they do have some reaction, it tends to either be indifferent or negative. When I got engaged, there was very little reaction outside of my aunts and uncle – even that was quite muted. My parents barely even reacted, and my mom asked me later, “Are you sure?” Two out of four cousins didn’t even respond to my email because they didn’t care. When my cousin’s first and only baby was born four years ago, his own brother didn’t even text, call, or email to congratulate him. When confronted about it two weeks later, he said he was “busy.”

I wonder what it would be like when I get pregnant and share the news. Maybe I won’t even share it with my extended family at all and just let them know after the baby is born. It’s not like they truly care anyway, so what difference would it make?

One dimensional

I think I’m pretty much done making friends at work. Work is for work, and that’s all it will be. This one guy I’ve been talking with over the last year — he’s basically only interested in talking to me about two things: 1) food (where to eat and what to eat) and 2) his terrible dating life. Any time I’ve tried to divert the conversation into anything outside of these two topics, it hasn’t been met well. I asked him about his thoughts around the election. Since Trump won, he said, he hasn’t been reading the news at all; he just refuses and doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. “When I don’t like something, I just ignore it and shut down,” he said. “I’m a complete loser. I just don’t care. I can’t stomach it.”

You’re a brown person in America and you don’t care about the future that a Trump presidency can create? You’re right. You are a complete loser as you’ve called yourself. That lack of care is what got Trump into the White House. I cannot stand apathy when it comes to important issues like this.

I’m not recommending any more restaurants to this guy, nor will I listen to pathetic stories of his sad dating life. It’s no wonder to me he’s having such a miserable time dating because he doesn’t have balls to make the first move. He is happy to sit there and complain when a woman doesn’t give “clear signals” about what she wants, but he doesn’t want to help the world tomorrow.

Thanksgiving gatherings at a difficult time

Since the election, I’ve heard so many stories from colleagues regarding their Thanksgiving plans. A lot of their plans or their friends’/partners’ plans are being revised because they do not want to spend them with their families for Thanksgiving. These are people who come from politically divided families where they don’t believe the same things as the majority of their families do, and they know if they go home, the topic of the election will come up, and they will get attacked.

I honestly don’t know when it became the “right” thing to do to support a presidential candidate with no actual policies and who is constantly spewing lies, but like so many news commentators have been saying lately, we now live in a world where facts no longer matter to the average American – we’re so smart. Well, “lies” only matter in this case when we are scrutinizing a woman, since as during biblical times, Eve was supposedly responsible for conning Adam. In this world we live in now, we have to penalize dishonesty in women but admire it in men. Oh, progress.

I’m saddened to hear the news of these families, though. I really am. People are cancelling plane and train trips and just not spending family holidays with families. “It’s not that I cannot disagree,” my colleague said to me, nearly in tears while we caught up during our one-on-one. “It’s that they don’t even want to listen to anything I have to say and immediately say I am stupid and I am supporting a crook. They won’t even listen!” I jokingly asked if she was referring to Trump as a crook (since that’s what he is), and she laughed in response.

I mentioned this during our early Thanksgiving meal at home this past weekend, and my friend’s boyfriend said he thought it was so “lame” (I guess it’s easy to say that when you have no connection to your family at all and your parents are dead, though). I don’t think it is at all. If you fundamentally have different opinions from the family and “friends” you think you are closest to and love most, how can you actually “look forward” to spending time together? In your heart of hearts, if you believe that Asians or Muslims or brown-skinned or black-skinned people are lesser than white people, if you believe that women are inherently less intelligent and capable than men, if you believe that your heterosexual identity gives you the right to oppress the lives of people who do not identify as you do, then I don’t believe that we can have a functional relationship. I mean, I already struggle with this in my own family: my uncle thinks all the black people getting shot and killed by police officers are better off dead than alive, that the “Black Lives Matter” movement is ridiculous and anti-police. “The world can always use one less thug,” he said. I was so shocked when he said this to me over dinner one night that I didn’t even respond and changed the subject. Then, there’s my parents, who basically think everyone who is not white or Chinese is bad in some way. My mom blamed the recession in 2008 and my 2009 layoff on “that black president.” Funny how she forgot that the recession actually happened during a white man’s presidency, but she, like so many other people, forget the things they want to forget and only remember what they want to remember that is convenient for their deluded story.

It’s hard to have political debates with people who don’t want to listen just as my colleague said. But when I say “listen,” I mean actually listen to people who have substantive arguments and views, not ideas that are based on lies like “Obama was born in Kenya” or racist desires like “America would be better off with less black people.” I think I’ve spent enough time “listening” to those people.

Gullible

So, I just spent the last couple of days pondering how stupid people can be to believe headlines and articles like the ones I posted about yesterday. Now, I’m finding out that my parents are the ones who actually believe these things.

Granted, I had a feeling my dad may not have been on the Hillary band wagon in this election, but I also knew he thought Trump was “insane” as he said himself this past September. Why did I have this feeling? Well, when he was taking a break from his computer when I was home in September, I saw several open tabs on his web browser that had the label “Killary.” Gee, I wonder what positive things those videos were discussing and factually reporting.

Today, my mom says to me on the phone: “You know, if you want to know why Hillary didn’t win the election, I’m sure if you go on the internet or YouTube, you can find out all the awful things she has done.” She goes on to insinuate that the Clintons have murdered hundreds of people.

I insisted to her that she cannot believe everything she reads, and it’s important to have sources when citing things. I don’t know why I even bothered saying this to my mother, who has no idea what that statement even means. She got frustrated and said I don’t believe these bad things about her because I lack wisdom (yep), and it’s not like the government does anything for her, anyway, so why should she care about them?

I told her that if she really felt that way, that she gets zero benefit out of the government, maybe she should just leave this country. I mean, hey, the government doesn’t do anything for her here, right, doesn’t provide her Medicare, doesn’t give her social security benefits that she is happy to collect every single month until she dies, didn’t enforce her disability payments all those years? The government also didn’t give her two children free education from preschool through 12th grade, right? If I recall correctly, she had zero years of formal schooling in Vietnam, and if she did have it, her mother would have had to pay for it. And because my maternal grandmother was cheap and sexist, she refused to send my mom to school.

Sometimes, it’s like my mother has completely forgotten what she fled to come here for, and now, she’s just one of these same ungrateful Americans who thinks that government is all bad and doesn’t benefit people like her. She didn’t respond very well to what I said, but I don’t really care. She really shouldn’t try to act like she can have a conversation about politics when she knows zero about our political system or any political system for that matter.

Biased news.. and fake news

Someone suggested in my Facebook feed that in order to get more “balanced” news and see things that I may not agree with, I should start “Liking” and joining Facebook groups that are for the opposite political party. I tried this today, and I didn’t even last a full 24 hours before I had to UN-like and leave all these groups.

This is a sampling of what I saw in my feed:

REPORT: Hillary Clinton Became PHYSICALLY VIOLENT on Election Night and Tore Into Robby Mook and John Podesta

Michelle Obama was born a man (video explaining that her real name was Michael Robinson at birth on YouTube)

AWFUL! Videos Show Hillary Clinton Supporters Attacking Homeless Black Woman Guarding Trump Hollywood Star

I need a break from all media — perhaps for the next four years.

This makes me very sad to think that people actually believe the above headlines — they think the ACTUAL facts are made up by biased liberal news sources. We say the same about them, so why can’t they say the same about us? Back in 2008 when Obama was running for president and won, people burned American flags, saying he was not their president. They believed the lies that awful and factually incorrect media sources kept spouting, like the “facts” that he was born in Kenya, that he was Muslim, and that he had Muslim extremist ties. In today’s situation with Trump’s win, he actually said all the racist things that have been replayed across both left and right-leaning media sources all along. How are the things right out of his mouth not “facts,” yet Barack Obama being a Kenyan born Muslim extremist and Michelle Obama a male ape “facts”?