In-laws reunited

Today, we had brunch in San Clemente with my parents, Chris’s parents, and my aunt. It was an interesting lunch in that the usual things happened; my dad was sitting there awkwardly, not really talking much unless Chris’s dad said something to him first. My mom insisted on sitting next to my aunt and mostly talked to her the whole time, along with Chris trying his best to converse with the two of them. Then, there’s Chris’s mom and me, who are sitting on the other side of the table, and I’m listening to his mom talk about not wanting to eat such heavy food so that she can look good for the wedding photos.

And it all ended with my dad rushing up to the front at the beginning, pretending to get up and use the bathroom, and paying for the bill before anyone else had the chance to. It just gets more and more predictable and exacerbating every time.

A small hiatus

We were surprisingly very productive and efficient on our first day in the LA area, so we decided to use Tuesday to enjoy the day for ourselves and do what probably no one does during their wedding week travel: visit two presidential libraries in a single day. We visited the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, and the Reagan Library, which was huge and sprawling and even included an Air Force One, in Simi Valley. Both were grand and beautiful in their own ways, but both also managed to gloss over all the negative aspects of both presidencies, such as Nixon’s Watergate scandal and ultimate resignation from the presidency, and Reagan’s previous wife and first daughter, and how he used to be a Democrat in his life pre-presidency. Revisionist history never really works, especially when smart Americans rarely forget what really happened in the past.

Wedding luck

Today, we boarded a plane heading to LAX for our wedding week. Yet as wedding “luck” would have it, the day did not start so smoothly. We checked a bag full of wedding materials to discover that Chris had somehow lost his New York State ID, and it was nowhere to be found in any of his bags or his wallet. It was so unlike him because he’s usually very organized and efficient, so he was forced to go through the regular security line instead of the TSA pre-check line, and go through extra scrutinized security screenings. It was so frustrating just watching it happen; the TSA guard practically felt up his genitals. Yes, that’s what they do to you when you forget or lose your ID. Now you’ve been warned.

Then when gathering all our belongings to get off the flight when we landed, Chris managed to get my veil caught in the garment bag zipper, and in a poor attempt to undo it, I ripped the tulle at the bottom of the veil, resulting in a 2-inch long tear. Good thing that I looked up what to do in case the veil tears; you can always trust clear nail polish for these quick fixes.

Then the carry on roller handle decided to get stuck, and now, it cannot be retracted. It’s been so reliable for the last year or so since we got it.

Finally, my very trusted and many-times-used black travel bag decided that it was time for its strap to retire, and it broke while running errands today. Today was certainly one of those “this only happens during your wedding week” type of bad luck days.

“Every time you go away”

Somehow, every time I get ready to leave for a trip that requires me to take paid time off, everything at work starts to get very hectic and go to hell. Right now, we’re currently working on amendments to contracts and statements of work, potential upsell opportunities that are time sensitive, interviewing potential new team members, and it’s been completely chaotic. Every time I go away, it gets like this. It’s like my clients and internal teams know I am going away and need to speed things up. And when you add planning a three-day-wedding extravaganza, it all results in a lot of exhaustion at the end of the day.

When I am at work, I am really busy, and when I go home, I start my second job — wedding planning. Our wedding only has 75 people. I have no idea how I’d cope if it were double or triple. I guess there was a reason I am not ethnically Indian living in India. Then, I’d really have to hire a full-service wedding planner.

6am

I woke up at 4:15 this morning to catch a 6am flight to Atlanta. I knew it was too early when the little food stands were still not open when I got past security and to my gate. When I arrived at 8:30am, I felt exhausted and like I hadn’t even slept the night. I was lucky to get early check in at my hotel and napped for half an hour before getting back to work before my meetings began in the afternoon.

I can feel myself getting older. I don’t always feel it or think I look it, but when I wake up at 4am these past two Mondays to get on a work flight, I feel miserable afterwards. Even now as I type this, I feel worn. My colleagues and I had an early dinner and got back to our hotel at 8pm, and I went straight back to my computer to get all these things done that I had no time to get done during the day. And two more packed and full days await me. I want to take one long nap.

Train travel

I dreaded taking this train, and now that I have taken it, it absolutely was not fun at all. It’s a spoiled point of view, but after having taken amazing trains in Japan, Switzerland, and Germany, it’s really hard to take an Amtrak train and think, “wow, this is an awesome experience!” The wi-fi kept coming in and out, the ride was really bumpy, and the seats were sub par. Granted, it only took one hour and 20 minutes to get back to Penn Station, but I could feel myself getting nauseated while trying to get some work done. I just want to get home. I just want to get home. I kept thinking this in my mind.

I talked to my dad about the whole experience, and he said to me that at least I got to stay at a nice hotel in downtown and expense some decent meals. The truth is that while work travel may seem glamorous to those who don’t do it often or at all, at the end of the day, sometimes it’s really nice and comforting just to eat a meal in your own home, made by yourself or a family member, and just sit and relax and not be in some foreign transient environment. It can be a really lonely and alienating experience, especially after you got stranded in an airport due to wind storms and everyone around you is an upset or angry stranger.

Old friend meetup in HK

Today, we met up with an old high school friend for lunch in the Jordan area of Kowloon. We overlapped in a few classes in high school and went swimming together often to prepare for our school’s swim test requirement, but after high school, we saw each other only twice — once for lunch after our first semester of college, and once again a year and a half after college graduation. When I look back at why I never really made a huge effort to keep in touch, I realize that although we liked a lot of the same things, our chats never really went beyond the surface. We didn’t really have any of the same friends that would force us to see each other; the one remotely mutual friend was an emotional roller coaster who is the only person who has ever cut me off. So it didn’t feel like I was really losing anything big.

When I saw her today, I immediately noticed that her voice had deepened, and she was far more outgoing and talkative than I remembered. Since we last saw each other, it’s been six years, and during that time, she had moved to Hong Kong for work, quit that job and taken a couple others before finally quitting and founding her own startup with a friend based in Hong Kong. Given her business and work needs, it makes sense that she would be more outgoing and confident now. It was refreshing to meet an old friend who was clearly really happy with her life now and motivated and confident about her future.

When Chinese culture clashes with Disney

After a failed attempt to do a day trip to Guangzhou and deciding to pass on a Macau day trip this time around, we spent our last full day in Hong Kong at Disneyland. The city makes it so easy for you to get there on your own, with an incredibly affordable train trip to get there, its own separate train that even has windows in the shape of Mickey Mouse heads, and clearly marked signs denoted with Mickey heads so that you know exactly where you are going and how to get there. My two favorite rides, Space Mountain and It’s a Small World were there, and much to Chris’s disgust and embarrassment, I made him go on It’s a Small World with me (we were lucky and got to ride Space Mountain twice, along with Grizzly Mountain, a combination of Thunder Mountain the U.S. and another ride I can’t remember). I don’t care what anyone else says about the Small World ride and how “kiddy” it may be. It was my favorite Disneyland ride when I first went to Disneyland Anaheim when I was five, and it will continue to be one of my top two favorite Disney rides. I love that it teaches young children about the world outside of what they know, other cultures, other languages, and other traditions. And I love the cute depictions of people dancing, singing, and living life in their different daily environments. And it’s just such a happy ride. You can’t help but get the song stuck in your head at the end, or at least the tune.

A major difference between this theme park and the Anaheim and Orlando locations I’ve been to, other than the variety of food (who would have ever thought I could get salted egg, bok choy, cha siu, soy sauce chicken over rice with a side of curried fish balls and turnip at a Disneyland?!) and the smaller size (there are rides that are very mindfully overlapping each other), was the difference in the haunted mansion ride. When I was five and sat on this ride, I was immediately spooked that we were all seated in what appeared to be a coffin seat. At the end, I was half scared and half laughing at the image of the fake ghost that appears in the mirrors between me and my ride partner. As soon as we got seated today, I knew the ghost image would not happen; the seats were not high enough for an image to appear that would sit taller than me, and the seat itself was not the coffin shaped seat I remember vividly from Anaheim and Orlando. And lo and behold, it was exactly as I suspected; the end had no ghost appear with us in our seat, no mirrors at all!

The thought that instantly came to me was that because Chinese people are traditionally so superstitious about death, Hong Kong could not handle it if they were seated in a coffin shaped seat, even if it was just for an amusement park ride. They would think it would be bad luck. The same goes for having a ghost image appear next to them in a mirror, as that is what happens on the haunted house ride back in the U.S. References to departed spirits or the afterlife are very bad in Chinese culture, and this appears to be the rationale for having a more “mystical,” fantasy-based theme in the Hong Kong equivalent of the haunted mansion according to all the online sources we read that compare the differences among the Disneyland theme parks across the world.

I guess even at Disneyland, you can’t have fun with death among the Chinese.

Twenty sixteen

We spent our New Year’s Eve evening at the Aqua rooftop bar in Kowloon, and then back at our hotel icing my ribs. We wanted to watch the fireworks along the harbor, but because my ribs kept flaring up consistently between 9-10pm every night, this made that desire virtually impossible… unless I wanted to be in a lot of physical pain in the midst of the huge crowds that lined the Tsim Sha Tsui waterfront. It’s okay. We didn’t really come to Hong Kong just for New Year’s Eve and to see its fireworks; we came because we wanted to see, experience, and eat Hong Kong. However, I will always remember 2015 as the year that ended with my contracting and recovering from whooping cough, a disease I never thought in a million years I was even capable of getting. It’s like my body had time traveled back into the past, contracted the disease, and dropped me back off in December 2015, leaving me feeling confused.

A lot has happened in the last year, and it’s scary to think that yet another full year has passed since my Ed has left this world. In 2015, Chris turned 34, the age that Ed was just a month shy of turning. It’s another thing I thought about on Christmas day this year — my future husband is now the age that Ed never got to be. It’s weird to think of it that way — how did Chris become older than Ed?! In some ways, Ed should be 36 now, but because he died, he’s kind of eternally 33 going on 34, even if in mind, he was more like a child of 10 or 12. While hearing about the family members and friends coming from Chris’s side, I thought about Ed not being at our wedding. When we take “immediate family” photos, on my side, it will just be my parents and me. Ed won’t be there. It’s just the three of us now. It has been just the three of us since July 22, 2013, at around 4:50pm PT. It is a sad thought, but one that lingers in the back of my mind. Twenty sixteen is our wedding year, our wedding year without my Ed. In some ways, I am dreading it because of that, which is a negative thought, but you can’t really ignore what is so painfully obvious.

Big Buddha

The first time I took a real vacation from work for more than one or two days was in November 2009, when I went to Chicago for a long five-day-weekend with two girlfriends to celebrate Thanksgiving. My then-boss asked me what I was planning to do in Chicago, and I said one of the activities I was most looking forward to was visiting the famous Art Institute. He was eleven years older than me, a very jaded and cynical native Brooklynite who thought and cared little of the world outside of New York City. “Why do you have to go there to see the paintings?” he asked me as he rolled his eyes. “You can just Google Image it.” He half meant it as a joke to tease me, but I know he half meant it, as well.

Yes, I can Google Image it. He can, too. But I don’t think that’s enough, especially with things with such immensity as the Tian Ta Buddha in Hong Kong. We took the Ngong Ping cable car trip to the area of the famous big Buddha, and when we arrived and walked all the way up those grueling stairs, even with my ribs aching from my lingering whooping cough effects, I really felt in awe. Like many sites, the photos on Google or anywhere on the web do this place no justice. The Buddha was far bigger than I even imagined it to be, and it looked so regal and grand sitting atop its own hill in the midst of the endless Hong Kong greenery that caught me off guard. And I never thought much of any Buddha’s facial expression until I looked at this one’s — he actually seems extremely content, like he’s at peace with the world despite all the insane events that continue to happen. At least one of us has genuine hope for the future.