Every holiday season, as we would normally get ready to leave for the Southern Hemisphere for Christmas, we partake in the annual tradition that all residents in a doorman building do, and we get ready to distribute Christmas bonuses to our staff to express our appreciation. Before I lived in a full-service building, I always thought this was an absolutely insane practice; shouldn’t these people get paid a living wage? Why should the residents be expected to tip them? Then, I moved into one of these buildings, and I realized how integral they are to keeping things running smoothly (plus, the question of what they should get paid… unfortunately has nothing to do with what I think SHOULD be reality, but it is what it is in this country and doesn’t look to be changing anytime soon).

In addition to tips, though, I also like to express appreciation by baking for the staff, so each year, I’ve made an assortment of quick breads and cookies to say thanks. I actually share baked goods throughout the year, but I do the most at one time during this time of year, and they always appreciate it and look forward to it. World peace (aka double chocolate sable cookies) have been on the bake list almost every year because they’re so simple and delicious, but this year, I also made chocolate chunk pumpkin bread and bacon cheddar scallion corn muffins. They all seemed to enjoy them; some even took seconds and thirds. I’d assume that’s probably another reason why most of the staff seem to really love us, and occasionally will go out of the way for us.

Because who can reject cookies, right? Food is the way to one’s heart.

My husband likes to hold grudges. I still remember the time when he talked about wanting to eat Malaysian food years before we were a couple, and I quickly Yelped a few Malaysian options in Manhattan Chinatown and chose one for us to meet at for dinner. Needless to say, it was just okay at best, or in his words, “absolute shit.” He did not like any of the dishes and said that everything seemed more Chinese than it was actually Malaysian… which was pretty true. He was not happy with my choice and made sure to remind me of this incident years and years after it happened.

So now, whenever I suggest trying a new Malaysian spot that opens in New York City, he’s always… just a tad skeptical. But when I told him that Ronny Chieng, an actual Malaysian and comedian we love and respect, went there and had good things to say about it, he seemed convinced. So we went down to Chinatown this afternoon for our monthly massages, and I stopped by Kuih Cafe to pick up a few things on their limited pandemic-era menu. While waiting for my food, I chatted up the worker, and he said that they opened this cafe just a month before the pandemic. That must have been harsh. I felt so bad for them, and at the time time wanted to support them even more to ensure they stay afloat. I ended up getting nearly one of each thing on their menu: we got the nasi lemak, salty duck egg butter fried chicken, a few pieces of kuih, and a slice each of caramel kaya cake and burnt pineapple cheesecake. Since indoor dining has officially shut down in New York City and the cafe was too tiny for outdoor dining, we got takeout and took our food home to eat.

You probably don’t care what I think given what I wrote above, but I thought all of it was delicious. The briny fishiness of the nasi lemak was impossible to ignore. It tasted like we were in Southeast Asia again.

And the verdict from the husband? “Mm. Tastes homely,” Chris said between bites as I asked him what he thought.

“Homely” is a compliment from this critical Malaysian food eater. I’ll take that.

On many weekdays during the pandemic, for a light lunch, I’ll prepare some version of toast for the both of us. It’s usually one slice of bread each with some type of topping, usually avocado, sardines, kimchi, cheese, peanut butter, jam, or some combination of some of the above. Pre-pandemic, we rarely had bread in the house, but since the pandemic, we’ve been eating a lot more than we usually do. And no, mind you, there’s been no weight gain.

I realized after lunch prep today that we’d run out of bread, so I took a break later this afternoon to go out and see if I could grab some. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s lines would be insane, so I tried to stop by Levain or Orwashers to see if I could get a whole grain loaf. Welp, no such luck: BOTH shops had sold out of all their loaves by 2pm, and they both shared that this was highly unusual. “This has never happened before,” the worker at Levain said to me. “At this time of the day, we’d always have some of each type of bread we bake, but today, ti was all gone before 2pm! I have no idea what’s going on.”

It’s the sixth day of Hannukah today, and I wondered if that could be a reason for the bread shortage. The other day I had was… oh wait. The weather report says a huge snow storm is going to blanket all of New York City tomorrow. Could that be the reason everyone is buying up all the carbs?

I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. When it snows here, no one wants to go ANYWHERE.

On Saturday, we explored Bensonhurst and brought back a number of delicious goodies, including the famous Queen Ann cheese raviolis. They are from a family recipe and made from old-school Italian pasta machines that are no longer for sale in the U.S. Queen Ann has been owned by three different generations and is fully family run. I’d long wanted to visit this spot and take home some of these famous ravioli, and tonight, we finally got to try them.

I made some of my own simple tomato sauce and boiled these fresh, large round raviolis for about four minutes until they floated. I scooped them out of the hot water, spooned some tomato sauce on top, and generously sprinkled grated Parmigiano Reggiano to finish. And when I took a bite, I knew these were going to be amazing: the ravioli casing had a great, toothy, bite, and the inside was like a pillowy cloud of mozzarella, Romano, and ricotta cheese. These were so delicious. I’m so happy we got two different types of ravioli to share. The sun-dried tomato and smoked mozzarella ones are for enjoying in the future.

During the pandemic, I’ve been discovering a number of different small food businesses, including a female minority-owned ice cream business called Sundae Service Creamery. They make Asian-inspired flavors of Ice cream, use no artificial flavorings or ingredients, and make some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had. And what’s even more convenient is that they deliver for free as long as you order two pints or more if you live in Manhattan!

A few months ago, I tried them for the first time and ordered four pints: vegan coconut pandan, earl grey strawberry cheesecake, Vietnamese coffee, and ginger black sesame. Every single one of these flavors blew me away, but I’d have to say that of all of these, my absolute favorite was the coconut pandan; it had the smoothest, creamiest texture, and just the right amount of both coconut and pandan so that neither over powered the other. Chris enjoyed them so much that he nudged me to order from them again, so we did. Our second order of four additional pints (I mean, we ARE in a pandemic…) arrived today. This time around, we got the coconut pandan (of course), and three new flavors: yuzu caramel apple, honey butter chip, and banana miso caramel (this one is not a new flavor of theirs, but is just new to us). I have high expectations of these three new flavors given our experience with the first four and can’t wait to try them. We just need to pace ourselves so that we don’t totally become fatties.

When I was growing up, one treat we very rarely had for dinner but I loved very much were these cheese shells. I’m pretty certain my dad used to buy them from Costco, but they were so, so decadent and delicious. They had at least three or four different types of cheese, and when we’d have them for dinner, we’d have a little tomato sauce on the side of them and dig into the creaminess of the different cheeses all melding together. Thinking about it now, I do not think I can even remember the last time I had these shells as a kid. They just randomly disappeared from our meals out of nowhere. I was reminded of this delicious memory when we visited two popular ravioli establishments in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, today, Queen Ann Ravioli & Macaroni and Pastosa.

Exploring the many Italian shops across The Bronx and Brooklyn is very overwhelming in that all I want to do is buy a little of everything… but then, that’s not really realistic because a little of everything would likely require a U-Haul truck to bring it all back to our apartment. So when we visit these areas, I need to be selective about what we can realistically carry back and actually eat in a timely manner so that we don’t waste any food. So when I saw that Queen Ann was most famous for their three-cheese ravioli, I knew we had to get a box of them. We also picked up some fresh, lightly salted mozzarella and pesto from Pastosa, among other goodies.

Food memories are usually my happy memories — from my childhood and even my adult life. It seems to be the one constant of joy for me.

One of the mini panics I had at the beginning of the pandemic was, obviously, food related: if we were expected to stay at home and not take the subway anywhere, then how would I be able to get all my needed Asian ingredients, which I usually go downtown to Chinatown for, or Jackson Heights in Queens. Most of the better and more authentic Asian restaurants are further downtown, in the East Village, Lower East Side, and Manhattan Chinatown. But more and more as we’ve noticed, more authentic Asian restaurants seem to be cropping up further uptown, including Yu Kitchen at around 100th and Broadway on the Upper West Side. Chris placed an order via Uber Eats for the first time from this spot, and we were pleasantly surprised, not just regarding the quality of the food, but also the sheer amount of food we got. What we thought would last a couple days looks like it was enough to feed a small army of people for several days! The tray of chicken feet was probably three times the size of the usual takeout container. The spicy bone-in chicken is likely enough to feed us for over a week. And the quality of the stir-fried pea shoots was high — Chris commented several times how delicious they were. And for the portion size, the prices were more than reasonable.

While I was pleasantly surprised about the quality and the portion of food, in the back of my mind, I get worried about places like this. Would they be so good and so generous that they may end up not making any money and being forced to go out of business?

In a city as diverse and colorful as New York City, it is a bit funny to say that cuisine solely labeled “Palestinian” is not particularly common here. “Middle Eastern” tends to be the blanket term that ends up being the category for food of cultures from Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Iran, and surrounding countries. So when we found out that the new Palestinian restaurant Ayat NYC had opened in Bay Ridge just 2 months ago, we were ecstatic and knew we had to come try it out.

We had a number of small plates ranging from the delicious kibbeh (finely ground bulgur wheat and meat filled with ground beef, onions, and Mediterranean spices), to cheese manaquish (fresh sajj bread sandwiching a delicious, savory, and tangy akkawi cheese dotted with sesame and I believe nigella seeds), labneh (the thickest and most decadent strained and whipped yogurt topped generously with olive oil), to the dreamy beitenjan — fried baby eggplants drizzled with tahini and pomegranate molasses. This was my very first time having a number of these delicious bites including the sajj, the Palestinian bread, and it was amazing: stretchy, almost bouncy and soft in texture, not to mention wheaty and a little nutty. I’m a cheese lover, and the akkawi cheese did not disappoint: it was salty, tangy, with a strong savory flavor. I could get used to eating that more often! And the labneh here was the thickest and creamiest labneh I’ve ever had; it almost felt and tasted like I was just eating fully strained cream!

These cozy neighborhood spots are the places I love most when exploring New York City, the ones owned by locals and immigrants alike that just want to share their food with you and hope you will love their flavors as much as they do. They feel so homely, and the political messages and symbolism as depicted on the restaurant’s interior murals also made it a funky place to hang out.

Tonight’s family chat felt particularly depressing. We haven’t seen Chris’s family since last Christmas, and who the hell knows when we will ever be able to see them again. They asked about our mediocre Thanksgiving at home, which was likely the worst Thanksgiving I’ve ever had as pathetic as that sounds. We asked them about their plans for Chris’s parents to go to Sydney this Christmas to spend time with Chris’s brother. Chris’s family, even those in Melbourne, will not all be getting together for Christmas this year, either, as people are spending time with their immediate families or just trying to stay away from large gatherings. 2020 is truly a sad and divided year where we are all apart.

I was icing my elbows for some of the time that we were on the Hangout, and Chris’s mom asked about what I was doing. I reminded them that I’ve been going to physical therapy to treat my condition, which apparently has been diagnosed as cubital tunnel syndrome. Chris’s mom, being a doctor, was puzzled initially, and started explaining what cubital tunnel syndrome is to Chris’s dad. “It affects the ulnar nerve that runs down from the neck to the hand,” she told him. She turned to me: “It’s strange that you would get this. Ulnar nerve damage is usually a result of trauma.”

Ahhhh. Yes, in general, that was true once upon a time… prior to the creation of MOBILE PHONES.

This is when it hits me that just because someone may be a doctor or whatever professional title they have, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they stay up to date with the latest awful things happening in medicine, diagnoses, and society at large. Perhaps that’s why all doctors and all professionals should be trained and updated in their fields. In the last 10 years, there’s been a ridiculous rise in the cases of cubital tunnel syndrome, and the vast majority of those arise from excessive mobile phone use. Yep, you’re reading the post of one of those affected losers right here.

Four weeks ago, I had no idea what “cubital tunnel syndrome” was. I didn’t know the name of this nerve running from my neck down to my hand. And unfortunately, now I know. Sometimes, ignorance really can be bliss.

I really do wish I were still that ignorant.