Autumn is here

Autumn officially came to New York at the end of this week, which means that we can expect cooler temperatures very shortly. While Chris gets annoyed about the impending cold, I get excited because it means I can get all my favorite fall produce, including butternut and kabocha squash, a stunning array of sweet potatoes and fingerling potatoes, and honey crisp apples (unfortunately becoming way too popular now and well known). It also means I can do things like make pumpkin bread and test out all the fall recipes I’ve been collecting since the spring now that all these fruits and vegetables are finally available locally. And, it also means I can start planning our early Thanksgiving celebration meal, which I look forward to every year after the last celebration has finished.

I’ve come to embrace the four seasons, especially having come from a city where the seasons didn’t really exist. All I knew growing up was overcast, grey, and cloudy, ranging from the 40s to the 60s. Then, there was what we call “Indian summer,” which is when occasionally out in the Richmond District in San Francisco, we’d see the Golden Gate Bridge clearly from our house on top of the hill by Golden Gate Park, amidst blue skies and if we were lucky, temperatures in the 70s and 80s. We don’t get the gorgeous changing colors of the autumn leaves much in New York other than in Central Park, but I still look forward to the colors anyway especially since we live right by the park. Sometimes when I think of autumn in the northeast, I think how crazy it was that before the age of 18, I’d never seen a real autumn before. And then I think that I look forward to ensuring my future kids get the privilege of experiencing it all the time, whether it exists where we live or to travel to see it.

Wine and Cheese Tasting Cruise

Today, we finally redeemed a gift certificate to go on a wine and cheese tasting cruise around Manhattan. Chris’s cousin and his wife gave this to us as a wedding gift back in March, and we chose this month to redeem it while the weather was still warm. We lucked out since the weather was meant to be cloudy and grey, but the clouds cleared by the time the afternoon came, and it was sunny and blue skies for us.

We sat on the boat with a couple named Tim and Carla from Calgary and discussed all things New York, Calgary, and Banff related. Of course, the conversation became a bit political when the topic of Trump came up. “The whole world is watching this and wondering what Americans really think of this,” Tim said laughing. We’re all just amazed that (the Trump candidacy) got this far.”

We are, too, and embarrassed as hell that the obsession with an e-mail server and a woman who seems more ambitious and interested in power than smiling and being “feminine and ladylike” could potentially cause Hillary to lose to a racist, sexist, tax evading, bull shitting con artist and liar. I keep thinking this, but it’s so true: how can any smart, reasonable person vote for Trump? How? The rest of the world is asking that question. Why aren’t more Americans?

The cruise itself focused on wines and cheeses from Portugal. The cruise itself was great since it meant we got to be on the water, which we rarely do in the city. But the portions of cheese were a bit skimpy, and we never got offered seconds on anything. I guess it really was just a “tasting” sadly. It helps to have alcohol when talking about the current state of politics in this country, though.

Unequal world

September marks the beginning of the school year in New York City, which means that my mentoring program restarts for the year. I was getting ready to see my mentee, who I’ve been paired with for the last two years, next Tuesday, when I received an unexpected email from the program coordinator, asking to speak with me on the phone. I called him this afternoon to learn that my mentee, who would be starting her junior year of high school at age 15, came back from the summer three months pregnant, apparently with twins, and would likely not be able to participate in the program anymore. In fact, based on her age and socioeconomic situation, it’s highly likely that she will drop out of high school altogether. I immediately felt disappointed not just for her, but for the entire system itself.

My mentee attends a school that is predominantly made of teens who have immigrated to the U.S. somewhere between the ages of 8-12 (mine came at around age 12), and almost all of them speak English as a second language. Their classes at this American high school are all taught in Spanish, with the exception of English class, which is taught in both English and Spanish. At home and with her friends, my mentee speaks only Spanish. Her only opportunities to speak in English are with me and in English class. She’s 15 years old, pregnant, and understands English at barely a third grade level. What do you think her chances are of finishing high school and attending college given all this information? Her school never taught any sex education (comprehensive sex education is a step up and probably not even conceivable), and her exposure to the dominant language here is minimal. She’s planning on having these children, which means that her main focus will need to be on them.

I wish I could say that I have high hopes for her. Maybe I would if her English were better, or if she had an environment at home which encourages learning and growing academically (she does not; in fact, her mother doesn’t really see the value of college and thinks her daughter should be working post high school). The odds are against her. I wish I could do more to help her, but now I may never even see her again. There is so much wrong with our education system and how we treat immigrants in this country that today, I just felt like I was at a big low. I’m powerless to help her, similar to how I was powerless to help my own Ed. For anyone to say that someone like my mentee has an equal chance in this country to succeed the way I do or the way average Joe does is absolutely senseless and wildly ignorant.

The other thing that is frustrating is just the fact that she’s pregnant and probably had no idea what her risks were of getting pregnant or any sexually transmitted disease. I’m literally twice her age, and the thought of being pregnant right now for me is very scary and foreign. Yet, I’m married, at an age where it’s socially considered “normal” to get pregnant and have children. I have a good career, salary, and resources that would provide me pretty much everything I could need or want to give birth to and raise children. This picture here — this is not what she has. She is surrounded by the social stigma of teen pregnancy, of being an immigrant who doesn’t speak English well and hasn’t “assimilated” into society, and who knows what her health benefits are like. And from a physical perspective, I’m sure it’s completely bewildering for her, all these changes she is experiencing. What does it probably feel like for her, someone who is just physically growing into her tall, awkward body, just developing breasts and is still trying to figure out what it even means to be a “woman”? It’s like part of her youth will be lost. She’s like a baby herself about to have babies.

Avocado toast takes over city

I love avocado toast. I’d actually been making it way back when I was still in college, far before it became the trendy “healthy” breakfast option at restaurants across New York City in recent years. I would toast a piece of multi-grain or whole wheat sourdough bread, mash a quarter of an avocado, and top it with sprinkled red chili flakes, sea salt, and pepper. Occasionally a fried egg would go on top, or some oil-packed sardines. It was always satisfying and tasty.

And then it wasn’t so tasty when I started seeing on menus across Manhattan, with two slices of multi-grain toast topped with avocado and the occasional poached or fried egg priced anywhere from $10-17. Yes, that’s seventeen dollars. Really. And I won’t be surprised when it goes above that. The New Yorker, smart as always, published this illustration that shows exactly how ridiculous this “trend” has become in this city, if not the entire country. I shared this with my friend who I knew would laugh out loud from this, and she exclaimed, “fucking hate avocado toast and every place that makes it.” 🙂

Adele

Chris surprised me with tickets to see Adele at Madison Square Garden tonight. I honestly never thought I’d be able to see her in concert since it’s so competitive to get tickets for her shows, and she doesn’t tour or make albums that frequently, so this was a crazy surprise.

A few things were shocking to me during the show: they started more or less on time at around 8:10, and Adele had zero costume changes; she wore the same dress the entire evening, which lasted about 2.5 hours. She performed three songs right away back to back without any introduction or talking, and she was clearly singing live — no doubt about that. Her self-deprecating and light bragging humor was so real and funny. She asked the audience if we were hoping to have a good time tonight, and when we all started cheering, she responded, “Well, I don’t know why you’re here, then. You do realize that all I do is sing and whine about men and all my broken relationships, right? You think that’s a good time, eh?” Her humor around having a completely sold out tour was especially funny.

It was such a contrast to what I hear about American performers who are far more diva-like and egotistical. Mariah Carey, in her past shows, would always have on average a costume change per two to three songs (most of which showed way too much skin or ass crack), which also meant long periods (10-15 minutes each) of being off stage. That’s a long time when your show is only 2 hours long. I’ve been told that Beyonce concerts are known to start an hour to an hour and a half late. My cousin attended a Madonna concert in the Bay Area years ago where cameras of any kind were completely banned; in fact, that’s what happened at the Shania Twain concert my cousin, Ed, and I attended at Key Arena in Seattle; we have no photos from that show because cameras were prohibited.

Adele’s authenticity and complete focus on her voice were so memorable. The only thing really done to accommodate her was a man discreetly coming on stage to refill her hot water and honey for her throat. And as always, her live performance of “Someone Like You” was so moving. I could feel myself tearing up hearing her belt out the words to that timeless song that I’m sure people will remember decades from now.

“So dangerous”

I talked to my mom on the phone today, and of course, she asked about the bomb since she heard about it on the news, and she asked where I was at the time the bomb went off. Funnily enough, I gave my mom the answer she’d always like to hear: I was at home. We actually were. And of course, she sounded relieved. “It’s so dangerous out there! I tell you not to go out too late!” she exclaimed. Before Chris and I were together and I was still living in Elmhurst, she used to admonish me every time I said I wasn’t home on the weekends. If I were out meeting friends for drinks or dinner, or even just going out shopping, she’d sound annoyed, interrogating me about all the details (who, what, where) and when I’d be home. Her absolute favorite response to “where are you?” is when I’d tell her I was at home reading — I guess that’s what good girls do.

Explosions

Last night, an explosion went off in the Chelsea area of Manhattan, causing mass pandemonium and 29 people injured. Another contraption that appeared to be a bomb was found a couple blocks away, and so the entire area was blocked off until later today. I woke up this morning to a slew of text messages from friends and family, all asking if we were okay. Chris, still on London time, took my phone and marked me as “safe” on Facebook so friends and family would know we were fine.

It’s a bit surreal to me. We’re living in a city that has terrorist threat written all over it, particularly since New York City was the place that saw its twin towers fall and change the city and the entire country forever. But our media skews stories to the point where the basic message is this: our country is safe, but other countries are not; beware. I hear colleagues and friends and friends of friends make inane comments about how dangerous it must be living in or traveling to places like Paris or Nice or Istanbul, all affected by acts of terror in the last 12 months. And you know what — it makes me angry. These are all amazing cities to live in and visit, cities that people love. New York City is also one of these cities. Do I walk around this city every day thinking, oh my god, I live in such a dangerous city because we were affected by the 9-11 terrorist attacks or just had a bomb explode downtown? No, I live my life and do my everyday thing, and I don’t allow the media and all the stupid comments around me to sway how I live my life and travel. But that’s the thing: New Yorkers here want to freak out about Istanbul and Paris and Nice, but they would never blink an eye when it comes to this city, their home. I’ll take the subway and walk these streets and even take New Jersey transit (which we actually did take today to go to a friends barbecue) and embrace this city for what it is. And that’s what everyone else should be doing, but with the rest of the world, and not being so scared of the world outside of the bubble that is the United States, a country that actually isn’t so safe overall given how stupidly easy it is to get a gun without any real training.

Dessert trends in New York City

Being in New York City, we are completely spoiled when it comes to the sheer variety of food, as well as the food trends that either take off or come here quickly from other far away, beautiful lands. Artisanal flavored ice creams, Thai rolled ice cream, salted caramel everything, bubble tea in many, many forms (Boba Guys is here now!) — it’s all here, and it’s freaking everywhere. One of the latest and greatest to arrive in the city is Taiyaki NYC, a Japanese-inspired dessert spot that opened in Chinatown just yesterday that is pretty much everything I could possibly want in a dessert: a cute, fish-shaped Japanese pastry  made from a pancake/cake batter, filled with your choice of filling (looks like custard and red bean are options), then topped with Asian flavored ice cream (hello, black sesame and matcha!), mochi, fresh fruit, and a wafer stick. As soon as I saw this in my Instagram feed yesterday, I knew I had to drag Chris downtown to try it. The last time I had a taiyaki was from a taiyaki stand in Kyoto last summer, after Chris and I were headed back to our ryokan after the night’s first dessert. He was completely full and didn’t want a taiyaki, but the rich scent of taiyaki in their fish-shaped cast iron molds beckoned me, and I knew I couldn’t leave the area without buying a couple. I had no idea I would be able to get another one a year later right here in New York, as I’d never seen them here.

Well, today was a complete failure: we walked to Baxter Street to find an insanely long line that was almost half a block long. My stomach had a sinking feeling when I realized that it had to be coming from the taiyaki store, and there it was: Taiyaki NYC. Chris refused to wait in the line, so we had to leave Chinatown without my beloved taiyaki and ice cream. At least I got to pick up a moon cake for Mid-Autumn Moon Festival.

I’m not giving up, though. I’m determined to get back there and succeed within the next four weeks.

“The poops”

The VP of our sales team wanted to organize a big revenue team get-together on his rooftop in the Meatpacking district this late afternoon/early evening as an ode to the end of summer for the sales and customer success organizations, so our teams left the office early today to say goodbye to summer with burgers, vegetarian hot dogs, a whole lot of booze and margarita, and shot roulette. I’ll be honest when I say that I didn’t really want to go and just wanted to go home to see Chris since we’ve both been traveling (he’s been away in London, Cologne, and Bonn this week for work), and I hadn’t seen him since Sunday. But I guess my life at my company is a little different now than it used to be: now, I actually have semi-new hires who report to me, so I really need to make sure my team morale is high and make sure they feel like their boss is at these events and wants to mingle and get along with everyone. It’s part of the life of being a manager: it’s not always about what you want, but it’s also about what your direct reports would want at a company that makes them happy and feel like they are loved and nurtured. It’s actually funny that I went because our VP of sales, who knows I rarely go to these events (but has surprisingly seen me at the last two) greeted me with a hug and said, “Hey, Yvonne! I didn’t expect you to come, but I’m happy you made it!” Yep, his expectation was in line, but I am capable of surprising.

I actually stayed over an hour longer than I had intended for two reasons: one, we played shot roulette, a game I’ve never played before but I knew I’d do well in (as an FYI to you in case you have never met me, I’m a 5’3″ slim Asian American with a very high alcohol tolerance who never gets “Asian glow”), so I knew I had to participate. And two, our VP of sales brought his dog to the rooftop named Bentley, aka “the poops,” who was really the sweetest, most trusting little Pekinese I’ve ever seen. I immediately lit up and ran up to him. I picked him up right away and he stayed in my lap, eating bits of my burger and constantly licking my fingers. I don’t think I’ve ever met a dog so trusting who wanted to be touched and picked up by anyone and everyone. Clearly, this dog has lived a perfect, privileged dog life.

This is why people have dogs and cats, I thought as I fed the poops bites of burger and stroked his beautiful, soft hair. They’re so comforting and soothing, and when they are this loving and trusting, all they do is give you extra warmth and love. They take in your attention and presence, and they ask little to nothing else of you (other than the food on your plate). You don’t have to explain yourself or talk to them or tell them when you’re unhappy or happy or mad or disappointed. They’re just there for you and love you; it’s truly unconditional.

This is also why I wish I could just rent a dog for a few hours every week. It would be so comforting for me to have this loving, soft animal to stroke and hold and feed, and would probably alleviate my own annoyances and anxieties about life.

Groceries

It’s my first real weeknight being back since my trips to San Francisco and Tampa have ended, and so I decided to stop by Whole Foods and Fairway near the apartment after work to see what specials were happening and what groceries to stock up on for the next week or two. As usual, I bought all fresh fruit, vegetables, and three different types of protein based on specials. I couldn’t make up my mind whether I wanted to make chicken, beef, or shrimp this weekend, so I got all three, figuring I could just freeze the other two for future use. Chicken was on sale, the beef tenderloin was, too, and since I’d never used the tenderloin in cooking, I figured now was a good time to test it out.

While standing in the Fairway line, I was discreetly looking at what everyone else in line was buying. One woman mostly had prepared food from the hot bar packaged in her basket. Another woman had tons of processed packaged food in her basket, half of which was frozen. A third woman had a mix of both of the above, along with a bag of apples and carrots. Whenever I see grocery baskets full of processed, frozen, or packaged food, all I can think to myself is… this is what is wrong with the American diet today. These food companies are killing us with all the added colorings, flavorings, fats, sugar, and salt in all these foods we’re purchasing because Americans are deluded into thinking they have no time to cook.

And then I thought: the only time I’m really buying pre-packaged processed foods is when Chris tells me to buy his beloved British Digestive biscuits..