Back in the “Mile High City”

For the last three years, I’ve come to Denver once a year in Q1 for work. The last two years, it has been for my company’s annual sales and success kickoff. This year, it’s for my company’s go-to-market value selling workshops. We’ve always been based in downtown Denver for these events, and so it’s given me time to walk around and see what’s here, especially since the last time I was here was in November 2012 with Chris. The first year I came for work in 2023, I walked up and down downtown, and it was like a ghost town. It didn’t matter if it was peak lunch time or around early dinner time/get-off-work time, but I barely saw anyone on the streets. It felt pretty eerie. Last year when I came, there was a bit more life. I definitely wasn’t totally alone, but it was still quiet. This year as I’ve walked the streets in the morning and during lunch time, it actually felt like a semi-busy downtown. I saw lots of people having coffee, at cafes, grabbing lunch with colleagues, coming in and out of office buildings.

I always make sure to do morning workouts while traveling for work and stick with my usual exercise routine as much as possible, so I brought my workout gear. This morning, I went up to the top floor gym, where the hotel had a large, separate yoga room that was flooded with natural light. Although I do a semi-rigorous workout every weekday, which consists about 30-40 minutes of cardio and 30-40 minutes of strength/pilates/barre, here, I could actually feel that I was “mile high.” The last two years, I didn’t feel the altitude, but this year, I was breathing much harder on the treadmill and sweating buckets more than I normally do. Denver is 5,200+ feet above sea level, so it makes sense that my body was working harder than it normally does.

As my colleague said, we should take it all in stride: our workouts are more efficient here! If we workout for 60 minutes at higher altitude, that’s like 120 minutes at sea level, so we’re doing our bodies a favor! I suppose that’s one way to be positive.

My little baby is becoming a little human

It’s crazy to think that today, Kaia is three years, three months old. In just the last few weeks, she’s matured so much. Her sentence structure is getting more and more complex. She uses a lot of “{Insert sentence}, but…” She’s been asking endless “why?” questions. She asks what certain words from Chinese are in English, and then what certain English words are in Chinese (then, if I don’t know the answer she will ask Alexa!). She notices the most subtle, discreet things, such as the tiny little green light that goes with the new fire alarms just installed across the rooms of our apartment. If you try to hide something for her, she immediately calls it out and asks inquisitively, “What’s that?” She also has even more refined preferences: when she chooses her books for bedtime story time, she is specific and says she wants this book first, then that book.

Watching Kaia grow is likely the greatest privilege of my life. She is so freaking smart, so loving and affectionate. She picks up things so quickly, and she’s just so happy (most of the time). Every day I look at her, even when she’s being completely irrational and infuriating, and I just don’t know how I got so lucky with her. I recently spoke with a new friend about her IVF journey — four stimulation cycles, several transfers, and three miscarriages, and my heart swelled hearing her story that IVF did not lead to success for her and her husband. Since they started trying years ago, they’ve also been on the adoption route given they wanted to ideally have their own and adopt. Hopefully, that works out for them. But when I shared my own IVF story with her and talk about Kaia, I told her I’m painfully cognizant that not everyone is as lucky as Chris and I have been with our fertility journey.

I only hope that I can have a healthy, functional, and happy relationship with Kaia as she gets older, and that she truly knows I want everything amazing in life for her.

Opo squash soup – canh bau – a delicious home-style Vietnamese soup

Lately, I’ve been thinking more about traditional Chinese, Vietnamese, and Thai (because I love Thai 🙂 ) meals at home. I think about all the dishes I probably took for granted that my mom, aunt, and grandma would make when I was little, and I’ve gotten some nostalgia for them. A lot of not so glamorous dishes that are considered home-style or home cooking are really what make up the bulk of a traditional Chinese, Vietnamese, or Thai family’s meals, and so I’ve been thinking about how to incorporate those elements into my week to week cooking. Since Kaia was born, I will be honest and say that our at-home meals, unless I’m expecting guests, tend to be a bit disjointed. I will make one Vietnamese dish, then have some Chinese-style dishes made, and then randomly throw in some Instant Pot dal or other quick lentil soup. I haven’t had a lot of time to think through what I want to make, how I will make it, and then how they will all form a semi-cohesively themed meal.

Since I discovered that I can get decently priced and good quality meat at Hong Kong Supermarket in Manhattan Chinatown, I’ve been thinking about all the home-style soups I could make. And one of them was opo squash soup. Opo squash is a common green-colored squash that is used in East/Southeast Asian cooking, and it’s commonly used to flavor soups. When it’s paired with chicken, pork, or shrimp, it takes on a really nice savory, subtly sweet flavor in the broth it’s in. It is hard to describe it accurately, but it’s a very savory, warming, and nourishing flavor that in my mind, sums up Asian style home cooking. I hadn’t had a soup prepared with it for ages, as I know my mom used to make it for us when we were growing up. So when I prepared it on Saturday evening and tasted the finished broth, it took me back to the flavors of my mom’s home cooking back in the day.

So it made me really happy when I showed Kaia the soup, and she immediately loved it. She ended up having three servings of it. I picked out more chicken pieces for her to eat, and she totally devoured them. And surprisingly, she did not hesitate to eat the squash; she probably had just as much squash as she did chicken! Every time she embraces a dish I cook, especially if it’s something that’s more home-style like what I grew up with, I feel like my heart just sings. I’m so happy to give her flavors from her cultures to love and cherish.

Ba Xuyen – the OG and best banh mi spot in NYC, still to this day in 2025

When I first moved to New York in June 2008, it took me a while to get my bearings here. I had to figure out what my staple spots for go-to dishes would be. One of those “go-to” meals had to be a banh mi, which is the best damn sandwich in the world. There is no one who could possibly convince me otherwise. The ideal banh mi consists of a crisp but soft, airy, feathery light baguette stuffed with various cold cuts, head cheese, cha lua; it is accompanied with thick layers of pork/chicken based pate, house-made mayonnaise, chilies, fresh cilantro, and pickled daikon and carrot, and there you the best sandwich in the entire freaking world. It has all the key flavor elements and textures: savory, salty, sweet, sour, crispy, crunchy, creamy, soft, airy. My mouth is watering just writing all these adjectives out.

I tried a few reputed banh mi spots in Manhattan. They all fell flat. I kind of gave up hope until I really went down a Google rabbit hole and started looking in other Asian areas outside of Manhattan. And then, in the winter of 2008-2009, I found what I later found out would be my go-to banh mi in all of New York City, if not all of the U.S.: It was at Ba Xuyen right on the edge of Brooklyn Chinatown out in Sunset Park. It was over an hour subway ride from where I had lived then, in Elmhurst, but it was love at first bite and worth every minute of that long commute. My loyalty to this banh mi has never swayed while living here in New York. While some spots like Banh Mi Co Ut in Manhattan Chinatown and Joju (in Elmhurst, Midtown East, and now Upper East Side, which by the way, consciously modeled their baguette after Ba Xuyen) have come close, they haven’t quite hit the same mark that Ba Xuyen does. And just to add to Ba Xuyen’s state of incredible is that they have consistently always made the most delicious durian, jackfruit, papaya, and other fruit smoothies, along with excellent Vietnamese style iced coffee; they make their own perfect cha lua (which I ALWAYS buy when I go there to stock my freezer), and endless seasonal/timely Vietnamese snacks, such as banh da lon (Vietnamese mung bean and pandan layer cake), banh it tran (savory glutinous rice balls filled with pork, mung bean, and shrimp), banh beo (mini rice cakes topped with shrimp), amongst many other Vietnamese bakery delights that were originally snacks and meals fit for Vietnamese royalty. If you get there early enough, all their snacks are still steaming hot upon purchase as they are freshly made.

I introduced Chris to Ba Xuyen within the first year of our relationship. Of course, he was immediately hooked and silently (through eating) agreed that my declaration that this was the best New York City banh mi was, in fact, correct. He even dragged his parents out to Sunset Park for Ba Xuyen banh mi at least twice, once without my even being there last year! I’ve been a huge supporter of Ba Xuyen and will sing their praises to literally anyone who is even remotely into Vietnamese food or banh mi. It’s crazy to think how far I’ve come in my 16-year long relationship with them. Back in February 2009, which I think is when I first had them, the banh mi was only $3.75. I have no idea how they operated with such low prices back then. Today, their special banh mi (#1) is $8, which is still a total steal given all the crazy inflation we’ve been experiencing. I am happy to say that my relationship with Ba Xuyen has been alive almost as long as I’ve been a NYC resident. And it will continue to be a love that I am quite devoted to. Even now, Kaia is obsessed. When we went today, she initially protested and said she wanted no banh mi. Then of course, as we waited for our sandwiches to be made, she insisted on standing to wait with me. And finally, when the banh mi were ready to eat, she dug in and demanded more meat and bread! She is definitely part of our Ba Xuyen loving banh mi family.

“Haute” Chinese cuisine at Yingtao NYC

Last night, Chris and I went out for an early nine-year wedding anniversary celebration at Yingtao NYC. The restaurant is a short walk from our building, and I was aware of it since even before it opened. Given it’s in our neighborhood, when I would go on walks during the day, I immediately noticed the stylized Chinese writing spelling out “ying tao” or “cherry” in Chinese. I figured it would be some fine dining establishment only open in the evenings. Yingtao finally opened in December 2023, so it’s been about a year and three months of being in existence. The owner is originally from China and had also lived in New Zealand before coming to California and finally New York for school. The cuisine is clearly Chinese, but with lots of regional influences from Xi’an, Shanghai, Guangdong/Hong Kong, and Sichuan. It’s a bit of Chinese meets European/French/Polish, and the more I read reviews about the place and all the restaurant review write-ups about Yingtao, the more I wanted to finally come here. Since Kaia has been born, we’ve really only gotten a babysitter for comedy or theater, plus two parties. The only time we’ve gotten a babysitter for a meal out has been for my birthday two years ago, and our former nanny looked after Kaia. So this is the first time in ages when we’ve gone out, just the two of us, for a fancy meal. And it most definitely exceeded all expectations and was beyond worth it.

To sit in the dining room of Yingtao, everyone has to opt into their tasting menu, which is 10 courses: three starters/appetizers, four mains, and three desserts. You also have the option to add supplements to certain courses, as well as to add items from the a la carte/bar menu. In addition to our ten courses, we also had an eleventh bonus since Chris shared with the team that it was our anniversary: they gave us a fourth dessert from the bar menu, which was an incredibly rich and moussy ube cheesecake with a red shiso sorbet.

Every course was memorable and well executed, but I will say that the most memorable bites for me were the tuna with black vinegar, giner, and kumquat; the Royal Reds with flavors of “kou shui ji” or “mouth water chicken;” the wagyu with mizune, carrot, and doubanjiang; the snapper with milk broth, doufupi (tofu skins), and goji berries; and the rose with greek yogurt and lychee. The tuna had an interesting sweet-savory-smokey complexity going on, and I figured it must be due to the black vinegar used. When I asked the server what kind of vinegar was in the dish, she immediately presented a 10-year aged bottle of Baoning black vinegar, which I had previously been eyeing on TheMalaMarket.com, as they are the exclusive importer of this vinegar in the U.S. I knew I had to have this vinegar. What most people do not realize about Chinese culinary traditions is that a lot of fermented foods like vinegar take the same love, labor, and intensity as the most well known, respected, and pricey Italian balsamic vinegars. It’s just that most of society is quite prejudiced and has historically respected European food traditions more than Eastern ones. The wagyu was made with a very complex and savory doubanjiang (Sichuan chili bean paste), and no surprise that when I asked to see the paste, the server once again brought out a packaged paste that was also from TheMalaMarket.com, aged three years and also something I had looked at! We also loved the tempranillo wine that Chris ordered, and then were introduced to a taste of a different (and very unique) California grown tempranillo that finally made Chris feel impressed when drinking a U.S.-made wine. It was like a night of learning at Yingtao for the both of us. We left very happy, very full, and with plans for future home purchases to stock our pantry and alcohol reserves.

We took photos of both bottles of wine. I also made a note of the fancy black vinegar and doubanjiang. While I am eager to try these in my own cooking, I cannot help but wonder how they will make my far-cheaper versions of black vinegar and Sichuan doubanjiang at home feel when they get neglected in favor of these fancy, super complex versions. That’s the thing: literally having a taste of finer, nicer things can really ruin all the regular, everyday things for you. If there were just a few words I’d use to sum up this Yingtao dining experience, it would be these: complex, layers and layers of flavor.

Kaia expresses empathy publicly on the subway

On the ride home from school today, there was a woman on the subway who was asking for hygiene items like pads, tampons, lotion, soap, etc. She shared that she had just left her home and an abusive partner, who was so brutal to her that he knocked out several of her front teeth. It was undeniable that she’d been abused and battered just looking at her. Even if you couldn’t see she was missing front teeth, you could clearly tell from her voice that she was likely missing something in her mouth. She said she’d appreciate anything we had to give. I immediately took out all the backup pads, underwear liners, and lotion from my purse and motioned to her to hand these to her. She came over and thanked me profusely, while also looking over at Kaia and saying how sweet and adorable she was.

“You have a blessed child!” the woman said to me.

Kaia started peering over at her as soon as she started talking publicly on the train to tell everyone her situation. She gave her a sad look, then suddenly started raising her voice and shouting, “Why can’t everyone have a chance? Everyone should have a chance! EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A CHANCE!”

I want to assume that Kaia somewhat understood what was happening here, that she could tell this woman was not in a good place and that she truly did need help. But when Pookster started shouting these words at the top of her lungs, I was shocked to see that her words actually did match the situation. It was as though, even though my sweet baby is only three years old, she could feel empathy and somewhat understand this situation, that she really felt sorry for this woman and wanted to console. I hope she always exudes empathy for those in need, my sweet Pookster.

Tweaked neck

Since my mid-twenties, every now and then I’ve had some kind of an annoying tweak, spasm, or pain during or after exercise. It hasn’t occurred that often, maybe less than once a year, but the fact that it occurs is always annoying. The worst time was back in 2018-2019 when I tweaked something in my lower back, and I couldn’t do much cardio for over a week without “feeling” it in my lower back. I try to do all the right things and stretch before, during, and after exercise. I try to warm up and do a proper cool down. But the tweaks still occasionally happen.

Yesterday morning, I was doing a strength training class via my Alo Moves app and was using light weights overhead when suddenly, I moved the weights above my head and TWEAK! I could feel something feel tight and uncomfortable on the right side of my neck. I tried to massage it out and stretch it, but nothing helped. Later that evening, I asked Chris to massage the area with some tiger balm. After a night’s rest, it does feel better, but it definitely isn’t 100 percent yet.

They always say to keep active and to keep up your strength training as you get older. I’m lucky that I haven’t gotten injured very often, especially compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard. But these are the moments when I think…. Great. I try to do the right thing, and wham! Then, there’s pain.

Kids events in NYC – plenty are free, as long as you keep track and jump on them!

One of the greatest things about living in New York City and raising kids is the fact that there are endless playgrounds and kid-related activities — as long as you do the research, know where to look, and also jump on events quickly! Most of the free or low-cost events are, predictably, very high in demand and popular, so for you to get tickets to these events will require you to be on all the email or text lists and to act on them almost immediately. In the last couple of years, I’d been more on top of keeping up with Lincoln Center free or low cost events for Kaia in mind, but this year, I haven’t been as good about checking their website and opening all their emails in a timely manner. My friend, who has a child who is a similar age to Kaia, told me today that there was a new Beethoven kids event at the Chamber Music Society at Lincoln Center for May that he and his wife would be interested in taking their toddler to, and asked if I’d be interested. I saw that there was a steep processing fee to book the tickets online, so I called the venue to ask if I could go to the box office to get around the processing fees. She told me that I could actually forgo the processing fees if I just booked with her on the phone right there. But I wasn’t sure if my friend had a specific time in mind, or if he had purchased their tickets yet. So I asked her how many tickets were remaining. Well, the seating that my friend originally wanted had only TWO tickets left (there are five of us!), and the seating before had five left, which would have been an exact fit. The first performance of the day at 11am had already sold out. And this event had just been socialized the day before!

I ended up booking all five of our tickets for the 1pm showing on that May date. But it just goes to show how quick anything that is both kid-related and low-cost/free will go here in New York City. There’s always seemingly someone else who is more click-happy than you are!

Cool moms and their kids who think they’re cool enough to go out with

The other day, I was on the train bringing Kaia home from school when we sat diagonally across from an older mom and her teenage daughter. Kaia was being cheeky as per usual, so when she found out that I hadn’t packed any mandarins for her (her usual train snack, which she clearly now just expects), she got annoyed and kept turning away from me. At one point, she even tried to leave her seat next to me to go to another seat. The mom and her daughter were watching us, and the mom gave me a sympathetic look.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but that wasn’t too long ago for me!” she exclaimed with a smile. “And that little rebellion doesn’t end at that age, either!”

When Kaia realized she was getting attention from this mom and her daughter, she coyly walked back and started smiling and giggling at them. She got back on the seat next to me and kept turning towards them.

They both explained that they were headed to the teenage daughter’s very first concert. The mom was nervous, so she didn’t want her daughter going without her with just friends. I asked if friends would be joining them at the venue new Rockefeller Center, and the daughter said, “No, it’s just my mom and me!”

I marveled at this and said this to them. “Wow, your first concert is going to be with your mom! I hope that when my daughter is your age that she thinks I’m cool enough to go with her to a concert, and without any friends coming along!”

They both laughed. “I do try!” the mom said, wrapping her arm around her daughter’s shoulders.

I really did mean that, though. I do hope that when Kaia is a teen that we don’t have that stereotypical teenage angst-filled love-hate relationship with each other. I hope she knows she can lean on me and tell me anything, and that she thinks I’m “cool” enough to be seen with her in public, even to attend concerts and shows with. I hope that really does happen.

High vigilance with play dates at home

Today, we hosted Kaia’s bestie, his little sister, and their parents for lunch and a play date at our place. For the lunch, I prepared butter chicken, pea pulao rice, besan chilla (chickpea based pancakes with various vegetables), served with cilantro mint and tamarind date chutney, tofu scramble (was very impressed by this, as it really did taste like eggs!), and a mushroom and kale salad with cashew dressing, topped with sunflower and pumpkin seeds. We chatted about child rearing, the kids, work, commuting, and travel. Kaia and her friend enjoyed each others’s company by playing with and around each other. Jacob’s little sister slept in the beginning, then woke up to eat a good number of my chickpea pancakes and a nice handful of my tofu scramble (I was so excited to watch her eat and ask for more!). And then, out of nowhere, Jacob runs out of Kaia’s bedroom with one of my Christmas houses – the one with a moving train and lights.

I held my breath when I watched him run out of the room with it and present it to us. I calmly told him, no, he could not take that, and immediately walked him back to the window sill where all my precious real estate sat and placed it back in its place and plugged it in. I noticed my Hamburg Christmas house was taken apart (it’s two pieces). I examined it to make sure it wasn’t damaged and immediately saw the edge of the roof had chipped a little. It wasn’t the end of the world and only someone really scrutinizing it would notice it (so, really, just me), but I was not super thrilled this happened. In general, Kaia has always stayed away from the Christmas houses and a few other very delicate pieces on display in our home. But alas, I cannot control what tempts other kids.

It was just a reminder to me that I couldn’t just let other kids come into our home without watching them and being aware of what they could look at as “toys.” My real estate collection on Kaia’s window sill is really the only “property” we own, so I would have been absolutely devastated if anything had gotten destroyed due to a 3-year-old friend’s desire to have some fun.