I have always had a sweet tooth. As long as I can remember, I have craved sweets and never, ever said no to dessert. Then came along Chris, who always wants to have M&Ms or Tim Tams after meals. One day, he surprised me and asked me, “Why do you think you don’t have much of a sweet tooth?” I was taken aback… Then it hit me: in the last few years, on most nights I didn’t have anything sweet (fruit excluded), and though I thoroughly enjoyed sweets when I was having them, the craving was rarely there anymore. Now, most of my cravings are actually savory. Just as I love oysters and blue cheese and other delicacies I rejected once as a child, my cravings have evolved.

My job search has finally ended after a year. For the last several months, all I really did during the week was exercise constantly early in the morning, go to my crappy day job, fill my social calendar with activities with Chris and friends, spend about two hours four days a week doing job applications and preparing for interviews, mentor recent Wellesley grads, cook, read books on my list, and sleep. It was an exhausting period, but knowing how insanely productive I was makes me develop very visceral reactions to people who do not set goals, or say they want things but do nothing to make them happen. It sounds awful, but when you spend all your time working hard to make your goals happen, it makes you question why others are not exerting similar efforts to improve their lives. As cliche as it sounds, life is short, and one day, we’re all going to die. So what are you waiting for?

Today, I officially resigned from my job of the last four years and two months. I went through a lot of highs and lows throughout this period, but I realized that it was truly time for me to leave when 1) I wasn’t having fun anymore, and 2) I wasn’t learning anything. The third thing that I can throw in here is when I realized I was working with people who were over-titled, overpaid, and full of hot air. Despite the anger I have harbored, it was a very emotional experience to say out loud that I was leaving. It’s funny how hidden emotions sneak up on you when you least expect it. I was told by my boss’s boss that leaving “is the biggest career mistake you could make.” Frankly, the biggest career mistake I have made is staying at a place for the last year that never truly valued me and paid me what I was worth. Good riddance. I’m finally leaving.

Everyone seems to have an opinion about things you should do. Your mother says this. Your boyfriend says that. Your coworkers and friends think something else. The hardest (and perhaps most painful) part of listening to all this is to then decipher what your opinion is independent from others. So you agree with Jen? And you disagree with Matt? That’s great, but what do you think? We’d like to think that everyone around us wants the best for us, but my very cynical side says that there tends to be some conflict of interest for almost every opinion you can get. It takes an incredible amount of self confidence to separate your own opinion from all of the other muddled noise you hear.

There is only one word to really describe today: surreal. “Stressful,” “overwhelmed,” “conflicted,” and oddly “emotional” are other ways to encapsulate it, as well. It’s strange how we envision different scenarios playing out, and then when reality comes, it’s filled with all these things you didn’t expect. Part of being an adult is making decisions and living by them. We spend most of our childhoods relying on parents to decide everything for us, and then we are led out into the cold, harsh world to fend for ourselves. Even if in the end, you realize that you hate what that decision resulted in, at least you made the decision yourself and (hopefully) learned something from it.

One thing I do not miss at all about San Francisco is the constant overcast and fog. There is nothing uplifting about waking up and looking outside the window to see… nothing – just the bright grey color and the realization that no, there will be no blue skies today. Although I am not a fan of humidity, it’s so refreshing to know that during my New York summers, I can prance the streets wearing shorts and skirts and dresses and not have to worry about carrying a sweater with me. My hair gets frizzy and my face occasionally feels like an oil spill, but it’s all worth it in the end to feel that warmth on my skin.

Tonight, we went to the Great Lawn in Central Park for the annual New York Philharmonic performance in the park. It’s an event that is highly anticipated every year to the point that people will stake out their spot at 6am the day of just to make sure that they have a good view. By the time 6pm hits two hours before the show, the entire lawn is entirely filled with people and their blankets from end to end. New Yorkers will wait endlessly for anything that is free. I guess I can’t blame them since this city is so expensive, but at times, it just gets to be too desperate.

I’ve always been a health conscious person partly because my dad was always interested in nutrition. Despite this, I also love buttery things and sweets, but I’ve always thought I’ve maintained a good balance. Then I decided a few months ago to start exercising more rigorously in the mornings, which somehow led to my being more conscious about portion sizes and calories, so then I started eating a little less and being more concerned about things like fiber. What the habit book I am reading says is true: when you adapt one good habit, it tends to lead to other new habits that may or may not be related that overall, will be beneficial for you and make you happier and more satisfied.

Despite the changes that we go through during our lives, it’s comforting and refreshing all at once when we have some things that always remain there. I honestly haven’t kept that many friends over the years, so the ones I do have, I’m extremely grateful we still are connected. The friends who have known you the longest who stay in touch with you – those the ones who will usually see how much you have evolved and changed – and are also the ones who will keep you in check when you do really stupid things. And it’s the most warming feeling when you know that you are happy in your current stage of life, that long-time friend is, and both of you are genuinely, truly happy for each other.

It’s odd to look back on the last few years of my life in New York and realize how changing one aspect of my life would then have a domino effect on everything else. I suppose it makes sense; everything in your life is interconnected in some way. That’s why it’s all in your life. When some habits end, new habits form and replace the old ones. When some leave your life, (hopefully) new people will come in to fill those voids and provide you with even more. I’m not quite sure where I am going, but I do know that wherever it is, it will only be a brighter, much happier place than yesterday and today. Each day can only be better.