Centuries’ old Kyoto delicacies

One of the things that gets me really excited when we travel is seeing different markets. I always tell people about how fun these experiences are, but most people don’t seem to get as excited as I do because they’re not into sampling new or different foods as much. I wasn’t always as open to trying new foods, but as I’ve gone into and through my twenties, I want to try as many things as possible. It’s a fun way to explore other cultures and learn what they value and what’s important to them.

Well, I certainly had that opportunity yesterday afternoon when we arrived in Kyoto and visited the 400-plus-year-old Nishiki Market. I had read about the vast variety of tsukemono (Japanese pickled vegetables) before, but I had no idea exactly how many different varieties there actually were until we got here. Pickled vegetables are served with virtually every semi-formal meal in Japan. There were entire stores devoted to pickled vegetables. I tried things as new to me as pickled squash, pickled eggplant, and even pickled soy beans mashed into a clear jelly-like paste wrapped around another variety of beans pickled in a completely different mixture. And to make the experience even more Japanese, if you’d like to buy these pickled delicacies as gifts, you can have them beautifully packaged in origami paper wrapping to resemble artful envelopes. I can’t imagine ever being handed a thin envelope wrapped in colorful paper as a gift, to then take out the thinnest possible tray of six types of Japanese pickles. It’s so much intricacy, care, and beauty put into something (well, pickles) that doesn’t at first glance seem that delicate or “beautiful” at all.

Japanese “adult entertainment”

On our first night in Tokyo, we were wandering around the Akihabara area, full of bright lights and thousand-dollar rice cookers, when we came across a sex shop. So of course, we decided to go in and check it out. We might as well go see Japanese sex toys while we are here.

I think my slight fascination with the idea of Japanese porn and sex toys came about when at my last job, one of my colleagues received a formal warning from HR because of some “suspicious activity” he was found to be doing on his work computer. Apparently, a colleague with whom I was friendly who worked in IT told me that the internet complaints regarding the terrible speed were due to this guy streaming anime porn during work hours. First, they tracked down the streaming to his computer, then identified what he was streaming and which site it was from. It was pretty hilarious to me when I found out because then, I had no idea anime porn even existed; I was completely ignorant to it. I thought about how sexually repressed Asia, and especially Japan, is, and it made sense why people would be drawn to anime porn; it’s not real people having sex, but just a bunch of cartoons with big eyes and big boobs. How illicit could that be?

This sex shop had multiple levels. The first one was for women, the second level was for both sexes, and the third was exclusively for men. There were signs all over the second level saying that women were not allowed; “FORBIDDEN!” with female symbols were all over the stair well to the third level. Chris chuckled and said that since I was forbidden, I’d have to wait for him on the second level while he went upstairs. So while I waited for him, I watched my very first segment of Japanese anime porn on their television screen. Boy, was that an eye opener.

Even if I didn’t see anything on the screen and just heard the sounds, I’d definitely know I was listening to people having pretty intense and rowdy sex. But as I looked at the screen, all the usual things you see in anime were there: cartoon women with massive, buggy clear eyes, thin build, big, ball-like breasts, and long, flowing hair. The man and the woman were on some swinging contraption, screaming and moaning loudly, likely yelling at each other to go faster, and swinging back and forth. The one thing I noticed about the action was that every time there was a zoom-in shot of the penetration, it was completely pixelated out. It’s already fake, so why the need to pixelate it at all? This culture is so repressed that they had to reduce sex down to a cartoon, and even in a cartoon, I can’t see what’s really happening to cause all that ecstasy? It completely boggled my mind in multiple ways.

An affordable Tokyo

I probably made the longest restaurant list I’ve ever made for this Japan trip, but sadly, we have gone to only one listed place in our 2.5 days here so far. I suppose it’s actually not that sad considering that every meal has been very enjoyable and has exceeded expectations not just for quality but also for price.

Three years ago when I was in Singapore, I met a friend’s friend who was American and working for Delta while living in Tokyo. We spent quite a bit of time together for the few days he was in Singapore, and he told me that while of course, Tokyo was not a cheap place, he said he felt that most people’s depiction of how expensive it is wasn’t very accurate. He said that he paid less for his shared apartment, where he had his own bedroom and bathroom, than most of the people he knew living in Manhattan, and if you wanted to eat Japanese food in Tokyo, it could be had for quite cheap and in most cases, less than eight to ten U.S. dollars. Sure, you could spend $500 for dinner if you wanted (and there are quite a number of restaurants to do that at given that Tokyo has a large number of Michelin star restaurants), but you could also spend less than $5 for dinner at hundreds of places. Hotels are expensive in Tokyo, but they’re in the same ballpark as hotels in New York City.

Everything he told me was right. On our first night, I had a delicious pork katsu curry over rice with miso soup for less than $7 USD, and today, we had ramen for lunch for about $6 USD each. As I slurped my delicious tonkotsu broth, I thought about how we’d normally pay $12-20 for good quality ramen in New York City and felt a bit sulky. Everywhere you go here, there are so many overwhelming options for food. It’s like being in New York, except everyone here is extremely polite and well mannered, and all the writing is in Japanese. And there’s probably no high fructose corn syrup in every product here.

The kindness of strangers

Chris and I are ambitious travelers. When we are going somewhere, we want to do and see as much as possible. We’re not check-box travelers since we do try to allocate ample time to actually learn, enjoy, and relish our experiences, but we certainly do not laze around or dawdle (well, he thinks I do when it comes to food and cute things, but I don’t agree…well, not fully). When we are traveling, time is always limited, so we want to maximize it and enjoy our surroundings as much as possible. So even though Chris’s feet were hurting today and I was having a really bad menstrual cramp, we tried not to let it slow us down too much. Well, that was until my cramp became almost unbearable, especially given the steady and gloomy drizzle of rain and humidity. So we decided to head into a pharmacy to see what the closest thing to Midol was.

We walked in, scanned a bunch of over-the-counter medicine, and chose a Tylenol and another medication that was labeled only in Japanese. I took both of them and walked up to a Japanese female pharmacy worker, and I greeted her in Japanese and motioned to the two bottles, faked a pained look on my face, then pointed at my stomach. She started speaking in rapid-fire Japanese, realized I could not understand anything she was saying, then started making hand gestures. One bottle, her hands said, was for a headache. The Tylenol bottle could work, but was it my stomach that was bothering me (she rubs her stomach in a round motion), or was it my stomach and my… lady parts? (makes a bigger circle with her hand to cover both her stomach and her crotch area). I quickly nodded at her second hand motion. Then she gave me the Tylenol and gestured that this was the right one for me. I thanked her in Japanese and went back to the wall of medication.

I figured she went back to doing her work. Without my awareness of it, she actually went to the back office area to retrieve a Japanese-English-Chinese-Korean translation book of pharmaceutical terms and medical conditions, and she brought it back to me. She spoke in Japanese and pointed at “menstrual cramps” in English, next to the equivalent written in Japanese, and asked if that was what I meant. YES, I nodded, and she said, good, then this is definitely what you should get. She helped ring up my medication and even looked up a translation for the dosage I should take and asked if I understood. I thanked her profusely, and we left and I took my pills.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more impressed in my life by anything that any stranger in a foreign country has done for me. She could have just left it at motioning to her stomach and crotch, and it really would have been fine. I could see how she really wanted to help me just looking at her face and different expressions. It was so touching to witness this happen and to know how women, regardless of culture or language barriers, can still relate to each other and empathize.

Follow the rules

One of the most enjoyable parts of traveling to another part of the world is observing everyday people in that society and how they lead their lives – and then thinking about how it compares with life back home.

One thing that is so conspicuous in Tokyo is how everyone seems to follow the rules. On the subway stairs, there’s a sign and written guides on the steps for walking up the stairs on the left, down the stairs on the right. Everyone follows this. Everyone. The most amusing part of watching this was when there were too many people going up the stairs that they started lining up in a double-file line, but not a single person was walking down the right side. I thought in my New Yorker head, why isn’t anyone just walking up the right side of the stairway? It’s wide open! Gradually but very hesitantly, a few people meekly walked up the right side, and Chris and I joined them. “I don’t follow rules, baby,” Chris said. Yes, he’s certainly not Japanese.

Japan-bound

We’re on a plane heading to Japan. In about 14 hours, we’ll be in one of the most exciting cities on the face of the planet. I’ll be far away from home and even more happily, far, far away from work and everything related to it.

On the plane, I watched as the flight attendants bowed to us and served us all sorts of delicious things, from roasted and seasoned crunchy soybeans to katsu curry over rice, and I thought about all the people out there I’ve ever heard who have said they don’t like “any Asian food.” How deluded can they possibly be to completely X out an entire continent of hundreds of different cuisines of billions of people on this planet? It makes me sad to think that people can be that ignorant, but at the same time, I guess it doesn’t matter because they just miss out on something really great.

As I thought about this, I thought about a colleague of mine who is very Southern – conservative, pro guns, enjoys gender roles, is anti raising any minimum wage because why raise the minimum wage when corporations could just replace these people with machines? He’s completely unaware of cultures other than his own, which is really just white American. I remembered the other day when he was half joking around about being a red neck, and I had to immediately look away from him because I knew that if I didn’t, I ‘d probably have the most judgmental look on my face. Why would anyone be a self-professed “red neck” and proud of it? That’s like saying that you are a self-professed racist and have no shame. But on this flight, I thought about him and the people he surrounds himself with, and I realized that he’s the kind of person who would never want to travel to a place as amazing as Japan, or anywhere in Asia, for that matter. The world is this great big place that is just waiting to be explored, but not by people like him who live in an extremely small-minded world.

Teeth

I really hate my teeth. And I know I’ve had a lukewarm-to-hate relationship with them because ever since I can remember, I’ve always had nightmares about my teeth. I’ve had dreams ranging from teeth being loose (as an adult, which clearly is not good), teeth falling out, teeth chipping and cracking, to teeth just dangling from what looks like a string to my gums. Last night, I had a dream that when I took out my mouth guard (for teeth grinding), what also came out with them were some of my teeth. What remained in my upper bite were a few teeth dangling from my gums, threatening to fall out.

When I used to read dream dictionaries as a teen (yes, I really did this), the interpretation for teeth problems in dreams was that the dreamer was lying, and the teeth falling out was like a warning for the person to stop the fibbing. I don’t really have much to lie about right now, so that doesn’t seem like a very accurate interpretation, so I’m pretty sure this has to do with the fact that I’m painfully aware that a) I grind my teeth at night, b) I have a loose baby tooth in my mouth that is probably going to come out in the next couple of years), and c) I have sensitivity all over my freaking teeth.

Now, I can only dream of what it would be like to eat really cold food without having to strategically place it in my mouth and chew it a certain way. And I have to keep hard, crunchy foods on the left side of my mouth. These are not supposed to be problems of someone six months shy of 30.

“Bank roll”

On Father’s Day a few weeks ago, my Facebook feed, as it is every year, was flooded with “Happy Father’s Day” messages from Facebook friends, lots of father-child photos, and even a few tear-jerker posts. One post really stood out to me a lot. It was from a former high school classmate who I know has been constantly traveling since she was young. The only reason I know this is because she posts occasional photos from her travels on Facebook, and in her posts, she references her constant travel since her youth. Her post was very frank. She mentioned how pissy she was to her dad throughout her years, and she ended it by saying that she was blessed to do all this travel because it was “bank rolled by the savings of a man who lives frugally every day, wakes up at 4:30am for work for the past 20-plus years, and wanted his daughter to see more than he ever can.” I almost started tearing up when I read this.

A lot of people like to say that they want to hear about other people’s experiences particularly around travel so that they can live vicariously through them. But it is the most touching when it comes from someone who has actually sacrificed a lot for you and literally is, every day, living vicariously through you and your experiences because they just never got the chance to. I thought about my own dad as I reflected on this woman’s post, and I thought about all the things I’ve shared with him over the years, whether it was my good and bad moments in college, an experience he never fully got himself, or travel through Asia or Europe. There are things my dad’s taught me through the years, but as I am an adult now living and breathing experiences he will never have, it’s almost like it’s my turn to teach and educate him now.

 

Work philosophy

Today and tomorrow are long days of our team summit, which includes colleagues of mine flying out from San Francisco and Los Angeles to spend time with our team. At our team dinner tonight, one of my colleagues was sharing that she’ll be leaving for Europe for a two-week vacation, and she mentioned to another colleague that I’ll be spending about 10 days in Japan soon.

“You’re always traveling!” a colleague exclaimed, half jealous and half frustrated. “When do you find time to just take off?”

Mildly annoyed, I responded, “I just make the decision and I go. If you really want something, you just do it.”

This colleague is obsessed with work. I’m honestly not sure if he’s more obsessed with work or making it look like he works all the time. I have a strong feeling it’s the latter.

After dinner, my Europe-bound colleague and I shared a ride home. She expressed her frustration with our workaholic colleague and said, “It’s really not that difficult to take a trip and enjoy life. If you want to do something, you just stop talking about it and just do it. Making it seem like you work all the time isn’t healthy, and the only person who is really losing here is you.”

I agree with her, but at this point in my life, I really don’t spend that much time thinking about people like this guy because I just think they are sad and pathetic and ultimately jealous of what I do and have. If all you want to do is spend time arguing with agency clients and looking at Excel spread sheets, something is terribly wrong with your life, and I don’t have time to talk to you. It’s that simple now.

Dinner follow up

My mom was so desperate to find out who paid for Friday night’s family dinner that she had to call me from the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses during one of her preaching outings with a worshiping friend. She couldn’t even wait until she got home to call me. She tried to delay it a lot by asking things like who actually showed up, what we ordered, how long we were out. And of course, the standard question finally came, “So who paid the bill?” I told her that my cousin paid the majority of it, my cousin’s wife’s sister paid a small portion, and I paid the rest. Then she annoyingly asked, “Russell didn’t pay the whole bill?” And then “Ellen and her husband didn’t even offer?” Notice how those questions are framed: in a negative, why-did-it-end-up-this-way-and-why-did-you-have-to-pay-at-all? – type way. It’s always negative, and it’s always as though she or I have been slighted. I didn’t feel slighted. I expected to pay a portion of the bill. I don’t like visitors paying unless they are staying for an extended time. She still doesn’t seem to understand this concept, so I have to reiterate it to her. Over and over again. My friend suggested to me to not tell her at all the result because it simply just does not matter (which it really doesn’t, and I agree), but I have a feeling that would result in far more nagging than I can tolerate.