Ajummas

We took the train down to Busan this afternoon and spent the rainy evening indoors at Spa Land, which is the biggest Korean spa in all of Korea. My only experience with a Korean spa before this was at Spa Castle in Queens when my Korean-obsessed friend wanted us to check it out. Korean spas are unique to other spas in that in the bath area, everyone strips down nude and doesn’t wear even bathing suits. This makes a lot of Westerners uneasy, so many don’t try these when visiting Korea. This spa has multiple baths at different temperatures, as well as a variety of different saunas at different temperatures, gaming room, individual treatment rooms, a cafe, and restaurant. It’s all paid for via a little “key” scanner that is attached to a bracelet you wear while going through.

The one treatment I was interested in getting was the full body scrub — someone of your same sex will bring you into a room and hand scrub you down with exfoliator pads for a time ranging from ten to forty minutes. In previous reviews, I’ve read that it’s like getting a full layer or two of skin removed from your body; this is how obsessed Koreans are with cleanliness. So why not try it out while I am here?

The experience was one of the strangest ones I’ve had. After indicating that I wanted the 20-minute full body scrub with facial mask treatment, I was guided into a room (by a middle-aged Korean woman wearing only a lacy black bra and underwear) with what looked like six beds wrapped in plastic, making them waterproof. On beds were fully naked women of all sizes, lying on their backs or stomachs getting scrubbed. The naked women lying on their backs had dark green and cucumber mixed masks on their faces, and buckets and buckets of warm water were being thrown on them everywhere. The entire room was wet, wet, wet! It really looked like an autopsy room at a hospital, yet instead of corpses lying on the stretchers, these were all breathing women hoping to be scrubbed squeaky clean and treated to a bath done by someone other than themselves and their mothers. It seemed almost machine like, the work these “ajummas” as they call them were doing.

The ajumma working on me had a gentle touch on my face as she gently massaged my pressure points and spread the cucumber mask all over my face. But, when it came to scrubbing, she was not gentle at all. She scrubbed everything, everywhere — all over my breasts and chest, my legs, my butt, the heels of my foot, and — wow — even around my crotch and between my butt cheeks. This is one of those “only in Korea” experiences because I’m not sure what other country would provide a bath for you like this. Even when I did a Turkish bath and pretty much got body slammed on the waterproof bed I was on — the guy cleaning me did not get anywhere near my crotch. At the end of my 20 minutes, she held my hand and led me off the bed, and she lightly bowed her head and said thank you in Korean. I responded and said thank you to her, too, and bowed my head… and I suddenly realized this was the only time in my entire life I’d ever thanked anyone in person while completely naked.

Afterwards, I relaxed in one of the hot baths surrounded by many other Korean women, all either socializing with friends or on their own, probably after work, hoping to unwind from a long day at the office. I thought about how strange it would be to be naked in a hot bath with my female colleagues back at home if this were part of our culture. I could never imagine that happening, ever.

Then, I rejoined Chris in the meeting room to prepare for the saunas, which are for both sexes. He appeared relaxed and clean and had a stunned look on his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been bathed by anyone since I was a child — and that was by my dad! He even scrubbed around my penis!”

Korean bakery chains

On our first full day in Seoul, we walked over 44,000 steps and saw a huge chunk of the sights on the travel list I made for us, including the Seoul City Gate, where we expended a lot of energy and a great number of those steps, and where Chris drenched his entire shirt in sweat.

Everywhere we went, we were running into Tous Les Jours and Paris Baguette bakeries, both Korean chains that are found in New York City (Paris Baguette has expanded so much to the point where it has at least four locations just in Manhattan now). We popped into one or two of them just to see if they were any different from the ones back home, and they were pretty much the same — except the prices were about 1/4 or 1/5 of what we are expected to pay in New York. I was surprised to see the pastries priced at 1,000 won (that’s less than $1 USD); it was like being in a Chinese bakery in Manhattan Chinatown. While in New York, we may think of these pastries as “fancy,” here, they are just everyday pastries for everyday people, and people aren’t paying an arm and a leg for their sweet potato bun or their milk bread.

I considered buying a milk bread loaf and bringing it back to the U.S. just to be able to bring back the same product for cheaper. Chris says he won’t allow it. Oh well.

Fried chicken and soju

After waiting in the longest immigration line I’ve ever had to queue up in entering another country, we took the airport express into Seoul, dropped our bags off at our hotel, and set out to enjoy our first evening in Korea.

“What do you want to eat tonight — barbecue or fried chicken?” Chris asked.

Fried chicken. Yum.

We went to Han Chu, supposedly one of the best Korean fried chicken restaurants in the city, which is in the Garou-sil area (“tree-lined street) south of the river. There was English on the menu, but I wasn’t sure whether to get the “fried” chicken or the “seasoned” chicken. Fearing the chicken labeled only “fried” wouldn’t be seasoned that well, I got us the seasoned chicken and a bottle of soju. The soju bottle, enough for the both of us, only cost 5,000 won. No wonder Korea has a crazy drinking culture; the alcohol is so cheap!

When the chicken came to the table, it was piping hot and obviously freshly fried. It was coated in a dark, sticky, and thick red sauce topped with white sesame seeds. The batter was thicker than the Korean fried chicken I’d had back in New York, and the batter was seasoned more heavily, as well, with a darker brown color as opposed to the golden color I was so used to seeing.

I was curious about the fried chicken styles and found out after some quick research that there’s no real “Korean fried chicken style” — different places have different recipes and thickness of the batter. Some are heavier the way Southern fried chicken back home is (especially the ones being sold by street vendors I’ve seen in Myeongdong), while others are lighter like the Bonchon and Unidentified Flying Chicken Korean chicken I’d had in New York. The Bonchon or Kyochon style Korean fried chicken is the type that’s made it to the U.S. But this made me realize that what I consider to be Korean fried chicken isn’t the same fried chicken that Koreans in Korea consider their own fried chicken — these are the things you learn when you travel.

 

Step-by-step eating guide for bibimbap

We’re on our way to Seoul. With a connecting flight in Dallas, we’re about 19 hours away from kimchi and patbingsu (Korean shaved ice) galore. To get a taste of Korea before we even land, the American Airlines business class menu has a number of options that are Korean-influenced. Of course, there are the boring Western dishes that those fearful of Asian food will order, but the options are fairly good: ramen noodles in chicken broth with mushrooms and fresh vegetables, cold udon with meat and vegetables, kimchi chicken, and even bibimbap with minced beef.

To accompany the bibimbap that Chris ordered, a little step-by-step guide on how to eat it is presented on the tray. It includes details on how to mix the beef, vegetables, and rice all together, directions on how to stir in some gochuchang (Korean red pepper paste) and sesame oil (packaged) to taste, and of course, enjoy.

We find it funny because we’ve eaten bibimbap so many times, but I suppose for someone who’s never eaten any Korean food, the directions might actually be needed and appreciated. We all have to start somewhere, right?

“Communists”

I told my mom about a month ago that we planned a trip to South Korea for about nine days, and she didn’t seem very enthused by the idea. She’s never really known anything about Korean culture, nor has she been that interested in it. She thinks Korean food is too spicy and unhealthy (the unhealthy part… huh?), but she does enjoy kimchi, bibimbap, and japchae. She knows I like Korean food, though, so she wasn’t that surprised that we were going.

“Well, have fun,” she said reluctantly. “Don’t forget to e-mail your dad so that we know you’re okay over there. You have to be careful because a lot of Koreans are communists, so if you do something wrong in their country, they may kill you.”

“North Korea is a communist country,” I corrected her. “We’re going to South Korea. We can’t even go to North Korea even if we wanted to.”

“You just don’t know,” she said condescendingly (and erroneously). I could tell she was shaking her head on the other end of the line. “Many Koreans are communists. I’m warning you. I just know. Trust me. They’re just as bad as the Vietnamese.”

It’s always comical when your mom insists she knows more about the entire world than you do even though she can’t even identify any major country on a map if you gave it to her.

Then and now

I’ve been texting Chris a lot while he’s been away to keep him updated on all the apartment searching I’ve been doing in his absence. While I have been running all over this city viewing apartments and dealing with brokers for a potential future home, he’s been in London attending Wimbledon and having English afternoon tea with his pinky sticking out. What a hard life he leads.

He texted today and asked if I was enjoying the search and that it seemed like I was at least sort of liking it. Well, compared to when I first moved to New York (which was hell), I like it a lot more for a number of reasons: 1) Then, I was naive and knew zero about New York real estate (how expensive space truly is here), rental anything (broker fees, what to expect legally, etc.), therefore making me vulnerable to getting ripped off, 2) I made a lot less money then, which meant I was more likely to see terrible apartments in the price range I’d set, 3) I had a roommate then who only had income from Trader Joe’s, which didn’t help point #2, 4) that roommate had really low expectations (today, she lives in a building that doesn’t even have a doorbell), so we just didn’t want the same things.. or know what we wanted period, and 5) when we searched while we lived in our maniac apartment in Elmhurst, we had a landlord who was constantly meddling in our lives, so we were never really that happy about our living situation.

Today, I generally have a good idea of what to expect in terms of space and prices for what general neighborhoods. I don’t have a roommate who has different standards than me (in fact, I don’t have a roommate now; I have a husband). I also am not trying to escape a miserable living situation; our situation is great now, but we just kind of want more space. So all in all, life is a lot different now. I’m also more direct and a bit more of an asshole now, so if I think someone (as in a realtor) is wasting my time, I just leave and say I’m not interested. Before, I would have kept entertaining the idiot’s stupid recommendations.

One thing I’ve noticed is that when I say, “my husband and I…” vs. the then “my roommate and I…”, the former gets far more positive and serious responses than the roommate situation. I already expected that. We’re older, we’re married, we’re established, meaning we’re stable. That’s what they are thinking. They also assume we have more money. We’re not just some dumb 20-something-year-old women flitting around the city aimlessly. The more money, the more money they think we will rent at, which means the bigger the fees they get to collect from these management companies.

I guess being married has its perks I wasn’t really thinking about when I signed the marriage license. 🙂

 

“Plenty of places to eat nearby”

The search continues. Today during my lunch break, I popped out of my office to see an apartment right on Park Avenue South between 35th and 36th Street — centrally located, walking distance from my office and from Chris’s future office, and on Park Avenue — a yuppie’s dream. Yes, until I entered the building.

The gym, which would be an extra $25/person/month, looked like a cramped room where a bunch of treadmills, Stairmasters, and ellipticals were thrown in haphazardly; little space existed to get between machines, and no stretching area was to be seen. The one-bedroom apartment unit I’d seen in the photos was not what the realtor showed me today; this had about half the counter space. There also wasn’t central air conditioning or even AC units put into place.

“Where are the AC units?” I asked. “This building (which is pretty new) doesn’t have central AC or even units placed?”

The realtor smiles (See the pattern? They always smile when they know the question should have the opposite answer it does). “AC units are not included; they will need to be brought in and installed by the renter.”

Yeah, right. I’m not sticking an AC unit out of this window on the sixth floor. You people should be doing that for me at $3,995/month.

I pointed out to her that the counter space in the kitchen was not the same as the listing I’d responded to. This space was about half, which was not desirable for someone like me who loves to cook.

“But there are so many great restaurants nearby,” she laughed. “Who needs to cook when you have so many good options nearby?”

“I like to cook,” I responded simply. Then, I walked out.

This is why I can’t stand sales people in general. Know your audience, people. If I told you originally that I like to cook, why would you try to talk me out of that and insist all the good restaurants nearby would somehow take away my desire to cook? I may be a young urban professional, but I still like to cook. If you want to sell me something, sell me something I told you I wanted, not something you are trying to push on me quickly to get a commission from the management company.

This woman had no emotional intelligence and insisted she send me an application. Good luck to her.

“Open” kitchen

The search for a new apartment may or may not go on, but this week, it’s definitely on. I have so many appointments lined up all the way until we leave for our trip this Friday. I’ve done three days of hunting and I already want to stop. Searching for an apartment in this city is the worst.

You know it’s really bad when you tell the real estate agent that you’d love an open kitchen, and what she ends up showing you, supposedly at a name-brand, reputable building in the low 60s on the Upper East Side, is a kitchen… that is situated RIGHT NEXT TO THE BEDROOM. I already have to close the living room door when I cook now. With the kitchen literally right next to the bedroom, it would be like roasting a chicken in bed. Who wants that?

People settle for the craziest crap in this city. Why do we settle for this?! Why?

Penthouse apartment

Today, I visited an open house three blocks from our apartment of a penthouse for rent on the 11th floor of a luxury building. In this case, “luxury building” just means it’s a newer building with a doorman; there was no gym, pool, or lounge area to speak of. In fact, there wasn’t even a lobby with a sitting area like you usually see when you go into these ridiculously priced buildings. The apartment was going for $4800/month for a one bedroom, not-quite-one-bath (shower only; no bath tub) and boasted a huge wrap around terrace. When I stepped foot inside, I realized the terrace was the only bragg-able feature.

The living room was a living room/kitchen; the kitchen was a single wall with a deep sink… and only two burners on the half stove. The refrigerator, freezer, and dishwasher are hidden inside cabinetry for the all-white look the apartment was going for. “Where is the oven?” I asked the realtor. “Is that hidden, too?”

“No, there’s no oven,” he said smiling. “Just a stove and a small microwave oven right up here.”

That’s not a microwave oven. That was just a regular microwave. What is this guy, a total moron? Does he think a two-burner stove and no oven is real? This is worse than the crappy East Village apartments my former roommate and I looked at back in 2008 that had college-dorm-sized refrigerators. At least those places were cheaper and meant to be cheap; this is a penthouse apartment on the Upper East Side, and it has NO OVEN AND ONLY TWO BURNERS?

The terrace space was huge, though, and had views of downtown Manhattan. The terrace space was probably bigger than the interior of the apartment itself; perhaps even two to three times as large. What a stupid apartment. Whoever rents this place will be a rich idiot.

“Chicken” garlic scape pesto quinoa rotelli

Chris had his first home-cooked meal for days at home today — my “chicken” garlic scape pesto quinoa rotelli. He already wasn’t that happy when he found out the rotelli was made out quinoa instead of wheat, but then he came across another surprise: the fact that the “chicken” in the pasta was actually not chicken, but Beyond Meat soy and plant-based protein cut into cubes.

“This pesto is very good…. The pasta is good,” he said as he chewed. “But why does this taste so healthy…? This is chicken…? Is this meat….?! Babe…..” He eyed me suspiciously as my face broke into a big smile.

So much for trying to incorporate more vegetarian meals into my husband’s life. I was going to tell him afterwards if he couldn’t tell himself…