Valencia’s paella

Paella is not understood in the U.S. Maybe it’s not even understood in the world outside of Spain. People in Valencia don’t even think that people outside of Valencia understand paella, so I guess the rest of the world is absolutely screwed then. I always associated paella with seafood since that’s how it’s typically served at Spanish restaurants I’ve been to in the U.S., but I learned today that similar to sushi in Japan, paella was originally considered poor man’s food. When meat and seafood were rare and expensive, working men prepared paella, mainly with snails, because rice and snails were both plentiful and extremely cheat. Original versions of paella had a combination of chicken, rabbit, snails, and green and white beans. The current seafood variations we now embrace today are more modern interpretations, and they’re actually not called “paella” in Valencia, but “rice with seafood” translated. They call it paella at the restaurants to cater to foreigners’ tastes. We still ended up getting the seafood paella at the famous paella restaurant we visited here, and at 3pm, we were eating at especially Spanish time for lunch. The rice was cooked in a shallow pan the authentic way over a massive fire, and each grain of rice was distinct, infused with the strongest and richest seafood taste. The socarrat bottom, or the crispy bottom that I loved eating in the rice I had growing up, was also present in this pan along the perimeter. This massive plate was a plate of heaven. It’s as though all my feelings about Spanish food and paella have been changed just because of this one meal.

The 18-euro bottle of red wine also helped. These are all the joys of traveling abroad and learning about other cultures that could never fully be recreated back home.

Toledo

During my AP Art History course in high school, we studied artwork that came from so many cities I’d never even heard of. Granted at that point, I’d never left the country, much less the west coast of the U.S., so I was quite sheltered in my understanding of the world, and my geography knowledge was pretty much nonexistent. One of the famous paintings we studied was painted by a Greek painter known as El Greco, who relocated to Toledo, Spain, and remained there until his death. Although he was known for painting portraits and vibrant, passionate religious scenes, he painted two rare landscape paintings, one of which has remained in my head since I studied it. It was the painting View of Toledo, a view from the Mirador de Valle of Toledo overlooking the entire city in the late 1500s, and the sky was violent, threatening to storm at any second. It’s strange how I’ve forgotten so many paintings I studied in art history, yet this one has still stuck in my head. The sky was notable at the time and is said to be one of the most famous landscape paintings of all time, as high up there as Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

We ended up taking a half-day trip to this UNESCO World Heritage city from Madrid today.  The train ride was only half an hour, yet in half an hour, we were in a completely different world. The entire town looks just like it had over 400 years ago when El Greco painted this scene; because of its World Heritage listing, the entire city is banned from allowing any modern structures to be built; all the buildings and the historical landmarks must be preserved. It’s strange to imagine that this city looked exactly the way it did over four centuries ago. With us walking around it all day today, it felt so strange; we look out of place in this city that existed during Medieval times. It’s also a city that is known for having Christianity, Judaism, and Islam coexist all at once. Perhaps Trump should go visit this city as a reminder that not all Muslims are terrorists and mass murderers.

Art history

In my sophomore year in high school, I took Advanced Placement Art History, and it was a real struggle in the beginning. I got a D on my first exam (only because of the curve; otherwise, I would have gotten an F). The lectures were incredibly boring in the beginning. Looking at old-school slide after slide of these flat paintings and sculptures was tedious and made me sleepy. I found the textbook we were using to be so long and dry, without much context for what each art period really meant in the overall context of history. Why should our history classes be separated from our art history classes, and why should European history be separated from U.S. history? None of that made sense to me then, and it still doesn’t make sense to me now. We only remember and truly understand ideas when they are in context, and it frustrates me to no end the way the education system here is set up. So, it makes sense that progressive countries with high worldwide ratings like Finland are proposing to eliminate subjects altogether and emphasize the interconnection across everything we’re supposed to learn.

I ended that year with a A in AP Art History even though my teacher then probably thought I was a complete moron (she said she was very proud of me at the end), and I also got a 5 on the AP exam (that’s right, haters — the highest score). And of the paintings that we studied that was said to be one of the most important and famous paintings in the world was Las Meninas, painted by Diego Velazquez in 1656, and at the Museo Del Prado, which we visited today in our first day in Madrid. The Mona Lisa may be the most famous painting in the world among people who don’t know much about art, but for those who study and analyze art, Las Meninas is the pinnacle, the most elusive, the most confusing and the most complex. It’s mainly because there are so many subjects in the painting, and even the painter himself is depicted in it. I always thought the little girl, Philip IV’s daughter Margaret Theresa, depicted in the foreground was the most interesting; her eyes tend to follow you in the same way that the Mona Lisa eyes follow you. I also love the way her dress, skin, and hair appear. She’s perfect, like a porcelain doll, but her expression is so odd. She’s like this little pampered, innocent creature about to be tainted by the world.

Chris said she resembles JonBenet Ramsey. I reminded him that this was in the 1600s, so way before JonBenet’s time. Maybe the Ramsey family wanted their daughter to look like the infant Margaret Theresa.

Random observations about Spain

Every time I travel, I am always looking for things that I’m not used to seeing or experiencing. These are some of the things I’ve noticed since we’ve arrived.

  1. Dogs are oftentimes not on leashes in Barcelona, and they are no where as manicured and clothed and groomed as they are in cities like New York, San Francisco, and LA. These dogs look scruffy, dirty, and like they need a brushing. They look like… dogs. Real dogs. Not the ones that get bathed and brushed and preened every day.
  2. Like in Korea, no one seems to care if you use their restaurant bathroom even if you didn’t eat or drink at their restaurant. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.
  3. Wine is so cheap here, and unlike in the U.S., cheap does not necessarily mean crappy quality. Here, cheap actually means really good wine. I suppose that’s the case in most of Europe, but it should be odd to you when a glass of extremely delicious, fruity, and easy to drink red wine is 2 euros, and your bottle of water is 4 euros. Okay, let me correct that. It should be odd to you if you are American. We really take water for granted in the U.S. in restaurants.
  4. You’ll never get water served to your table unless you ask for it. And when you do ask for it, you will definitely be paying for it. So enjoy it, and as much of it as possible.
  5. Here, we’re on Spanish time, so it will never be as on time as in countries like Japan or Korea. Your train isn’t really going to depart at exactly 8:22. Slow down, take your time, and relax.
  6. Why is the subway here so clean?! There’s not a single piece of trash on the subway tracks anywhere. In New York, it’s laden with trash to the point where we get track fires because of dumb people’s littering and laziness.
  7. In markets in New York, the common fruits and vegetables you will see are the most boring ones: apples, regular Cavenish bananas, oranges, tomatoes, carrots, broccoli. In markets in Spain, you get to see their version of “common” and “everyday,” which include cherimoyas (WHAT?!!! I’m in heaven), dragon fruit, endless artichokes, and the most beautiful and colorful tomatoes ranging in shapes, wrinkles, sizes, and colors (even purple, pink, and bright green). And the produce is cheap. It’s like robbery.
  8. There’s a massive obsession with preserved white asparagus. I really don’t get that. The clear glass bottles of preserved white asparagus are literally everywhere.
  9. People jay walk here. We really haven’t seen this at all in any other European city. Chris fits right in.

Antoni Gaudi

This trip, at least the Barcelona portion, has become the trip all about Antoni Gaudi. Yesterday, we visited his Sagrada Familia cathedral. Today, we’ve visited his Casa Batllo and La Pedrera, and tomorrow, we’ll be seeing his Parc Guell. Gaudi was a deeply religious man, and hence he was called “God’s architect.” He felt that his work was a calling from God and the Catholic faith. Though I found little information about his wealth or lack thereof, we assume based on how he died that he did not live a materially wealthy life, as he got hit by a tram during his walk to confession and was completely nondescript, wearing shabby clothing and having no identification on him. No one knew who he was and all assumed he was a beggar, so they took him to the hospital for the poor. The next day, he was recognized by the Sagrada Familia chaplain, but by that point, it was too late. He died two days after being recognized. He was 73 years old. That made me feel so sad; all of life seems to be about material wealth; people care about you if you are rich and dismiss you if they think you are poor. Or as Chris said, “Why didn’t he have any money? What a loser. This is why we need capitalism.” Great.

These moments also make me question what my purpose here on earth is. Gaudi felt that the Catholic faith drove him in his quest to build architecturally stunning works of art. What drives me to wake up every day, and what contribution am I going to be remembered for one day when I die?

Tapas education

Our first day in Barcelona began with a timed ticket to the famous Sagrada Familia cathedral built by Antoni Gaudi, the revered Catalan Spanish architect. The cathedral is one of the very few churches that Chris and I have actually paid to visit (the only only church I distinctly remember paying to get into was the Sainte Chapelle church in Paris in 2011), and after visiting it, I have zero regrets. Given the number of times it was started and stopped and incomplete, it makes sense that it shows so many influences, from Gothic to Art Nouveau to Catalan modernism. When inside the cathedral and looking up, I can’t help but feel a little spooked at how eerie the entire feeling of this massive complex is. It’s like I’m in the Twilight Zone, except this is reality. It also felt like A Nightmare Before Christmas was going to begin in the church at any moment.

If that wasn’t already surreal and overwhelming, we then went to La Boqueria, the famous market in Barcelona, and sat at Pinotxo Bar for lunch. I’ll be honest: at the risk of sounding uncool, I’d never really been that into Spanish tapas before. I was never sure if it was me or the restaurants I was going to, but there was never a Spanish restaurant I’d been to where I had small plates and thought, “wow, I can’t wait to go back there!” or that I had a craving for those same dishes again. Pinotxo Bar made me realize that there was plenty to be obsessed about with Spanish cuisine. We shared four small plates of ham and cheese croquetes, grilled venison, grilled lamb, and grilled octopus, and from that point on, I will never say I don’t care for Spanish tapas again. The croquetes were teeny tiny and literally bite-sized, but they were fried to a point where they weren’t greasy at all and had a rich melty cheese mouth feel. The venison was the best venison of my life: a bit medium rare, perfectly seasoned and gamey. The lamb was the same; no confusion about whether it was really lamb or not. But I think the octopus was really what blew both of us away. This little plate of sliced octopus was lightly grilled, then sprinkled with Spanish paprika, grey salt, and drizzled with the most delicious and fruity olive oil. The salt itself was spectacular and so distinctive that I found myself picking off tiny grains of salt off the plate and eating them.

The food was all so simply prepared but so incredibly good and satisfying. We didn’t leave too full or hungry, but just satisfied to the right point. And with rioja wine at just 2.75 euros a glass, I wondered why we hadn’t indulged in much Spanish wine before this trip. If this is what Spanish food is about, lots of small plates of simply but beautifully prepared food with perfect little ingredients, I could get used to this.

Thanksgiving vs. “friendsgiving”

Today, we’re departing for our now annual European Thanksgiving week trip, and this year, we’re headed to Spain. This is our fourth European Thanksgiving trip together: in 2013, we were in Germany; in 2014, we went to Vienna, Austria, and Budapest, Hungary; in 2015, we trekked throughout Switzerland. In our two Thanksgivings before that, we were in Ocean City, Maryland in 2011, and Puerto Rico in 2012. It’s been a trip that we both look forward to and is a new tradition we have as a family of 2.

Despite being away for the actual Thanksgiving week, I love Thanksgiving and still try to have a Thanksgiving feast with friends in the week or two before we leave. I have a lot of fond memories of having Thanksgiving dinners growing up with my family, when we were more or less altogether and somewhat cohesive. The last Thanksgiving I was home for was in November 2003, which is now over 13 years ago. It was the Thanksgiving of my last year of high school, and little did I know that I’d never come back home for Thanksgiving ever again. I’d never have a reason to. Why would you come home for Thanksgiving when your mother and your aunt are Jehovah’s Witnesses, your dad doesn’t want to participate when your mom doesn’t, your cousins and their wives don’t even want to all be in the same room together, your uncle would rather work overtime and get paid time and a half than spend a traditional family meal together, and your brother is dead because he committed suicide? Thanksgiving with family is special and matters only when the family you are going back to matters and cares about the holiday and you. If they don’t care about the holiday or you, then it’s not special and it doesn’t matter. It’s just another day on the calendar, and here in the U.S., you get at least a random Thursday off for it.

That’s why I don’t like it when people call Thanksgiving meals with friends “friendsgiving.” I completely understand why people feel a need to differentiate it; Thanksgiving is *supposed* to be with family, so you need a marker to denote that your modified Thanksgiving meal was with friends. But what if you don’t have a family, or your family doesn’t care about having a Thanksgiving meal with you either because they don’t care about Thanksgiving, you, or both, and all you have are your friends? What if you choose to have your Thanksgiving celebration with friends? Why should that be denigrated to a “friendsgiving” as opposed to a Thanksgiving? My Thanksgiving meal the last several years has been with friends; I’m not calling it “friendsgiving.” And I correct people when they say, “Oh, you had friendsgiving early.” It’s insensitive without them even realizing it.

 

New baby

Chris’s cousin and his wife have just had their third baby boy. We received the news via email two days ago, and some photos have been shared over email and our secret family Facebook group. The outpouring of congratulations and happy sentiments were quick to be shared.

It’s always amusing to think of how family news is shared in Chris’s family vs. my family. In Chris’s family, people literally scream, shout, and burst into happy dances. In my family, people either have no reaction or when they do have some reaction, it tends to either be indifferent or negative. When I got engaged, there was very little reaction outside of my aunts and uncle – even that was quite muted. My parents barely even reacted, and my mom asked me later, “Are you sure?” Two out of four cousins didn’t even respond to my email because they didn’t care. When my cousin’s first and only baby was born four years ago, his own brother didn’t even text, call, or email to congratulate him. When confronted about it two weeks later, he said he was “busy.”

I wonder what it would be like when I get pregnant and share the news. Maybe I won’t even share it with my extended family at all and just let them know after the baby is born. It’s not like they truly care anyway, so what difference would it make?

One dimensional

I think I’m pretty much done making friends at work. Work is for work, and that’s all it will be. This one guy I’ve been talking with over the last year — he’s basically only interested in talking to me about two things: 1) food (where to eat and what to eat) and 2) his terrible dating life. Any time I’ve tried to divert the conversation into anything outside of these two topics, it hasn’t been met well. I asked him about his thoughts around the election. Since Trump won, he said, he hasn’t been reading the news at all; he just refuses and doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. “When I don’t like something, I just ignore it and shut down,” he said. “I’m a complete loser. I just don’t care. I can’t stomach it.”

You’re a brown person in America and you don’t care about the future that a Trump presidency can create? You’re right. You are a complete loser as you’ve called yourself. That lack of care is what got Trump into the White House. I cannot stand apathy when it comes to important issues like this.

I’m not recommending any more restaurants to this guy, nor will I listen to pathetic stories of his sad dating life. It’s no wonder to me he’s having such a miserable time dating because he doesn’t have balls to make the first move. He is happy to sit there and complain when a woman doesn’t give “clear signals” about what she wants, but he doesn’t want to help the world tomorrow.

Thanksgiving gatherings at a difficult time

Since the election, I’ve heard so many stories from colleagues regarding their Thanksgiving plans. A lot of their plans or their friends’/partners’ plans are being revised because they do not want to spend them with their families for Thanksgiving. These are people who come from politically divided families where they don’t believe the same things as the majority of their families do, and they know if they go home, the topic of the election will come up, and they will get attacked.

I honestly don’t know when it became the “right” thing to do to support a presidential candidate with no actual policies and who is constantly spewing lies, but like so many news commentators have been saying lately, we now live in a world where facts no longer matter to the average American – we’re so smart. Well, “lies” only matter in this case when we are scrutinizing a woman, since as during biblical times, Eve was supposedly responsible for conning Adam. In this world we live in now, we have to penalize dishonesty in women but admire it in men. Oh, progress.

I’m saddened to hear the news of these families, though. I really am. People are cancelling plane and train trips and just not spending family holidays with families. “It’s not that I cannot disagree,” my colleague said to me, nearly in tears while we caught up during our one-on-one. “It’s that they don’t even want to listen to anything I have to say and immediately say I am stupid and I am supporting a crook. They won’t even listen!” I jokingly asked if she was referring to Trump as a crook (since that’s what he is), and she laughed in response.

I mentioned this during our early Thanksgiving meal at home this past weekend, and my friend’s boyfriend said he thought it was so “lame” (I guess it’s easy to say that when you have no connection to your family at all and your parents are dead, though). I don’t think it is at all. If you fundamentally have different opinions from the family and “friends” you think you are closest to and love most, how can you actually “look forward” to spending time together? In your heart of hearts, if you believe that Asians or Muslims or brown-skinned or black-skinned people are lesser than white people, if you believe that women are inherently less intelligent and capable than men, if you believe that your heterosexual identity gives you the right to oppress the lives of people who do not identify as you do, then I don’t believe that we can have a functional relationship. I mean, I already struggle with this in my own family: my uncle thinks all the black people getting shot and killed by police officers are better off dead than alive, that the “Black Lives Matter” movement is ridiculous and anti-police. “The world can always use one less thug,” he said. I was so shocked when he said this to me over dinner one night that I didn’t even respond and changed the subject. Then, there’s my parents, who basically think everyone who is not white or Chinese is bad in some way. My mom blamed the recession in 2008 and my 2009 layoff on “that black president.” Funny how she forgot that the recession actually happened during a white man’s presidency, but she, like so many other people, forget the things they want to forget and only remember what they want to remember that is convenient for their deluded story.

It’s hard to have political debates with people who don’t want to listen just as my colleague said. But when I say “listen,” I mean actually listen to people who have substantive arguments and views, not ideas that are based on lies like “Obama was born in Kenya” or racist desires like “America would be better off with less black people.” I think I’ve spent enough time “listening” to those people.