When I’m traveling, I often write a short post on things that surprise me or are different than what I am used to back in the U.S. I realize that I don’t think I’ve done one for Australia even though I’ve visited this country five times now, so maybe it’s time to compile a short list.

1. Everyone says “Merry Christmas” here, even those who aren’t Christian and don’t celebrate Christmas. Take that, you politically correct American idiots. “Happy holidays” is such a crap saying. The more I see “Merry Christmas, Melbourne” signs and hear “Merry Christmas” being said to everyone and anyone here, the more annoyed with New York and San Francisco I get. Trump got one thing right: Americans, especially those who live on the coasts and in blue states, are way too obsessed with being politically correct just to seem like they aren’t racist or prejudiced. When are people going to realize that so many people love Christmas for the beauty or material aspect of it rather than the religious part? The island nation of Mauritius is 80% Muslim, yet everyone has a Christmas tree and wishes each other “Merry Christmas” happily and freely. They aren’t standing around getting offended because they are Muslim.
2. Most bathroom stalls are actually toilets in rooms with locks. They’re not the cheap bathroom stalls where you can see people’s feet underneath and hear literally everything going on as someone is pissing or shitting. They’re not as concerned with cutting costs here as they are in the U.S.
3. The obsession with renovations and new construction and newness in general is so tiring here. A home that is 20 years old here is considered old and time to tear down to build a new one; the Marriott Circular Quay where we’re staying in Sydney for the next day while Chris is there for work has its lobby under construction until March 2017. If you asked me, I would say it looked pretty modern and fancy when we were there this time last year.
4. No one cares what you do for a living here. In the U.S. when you meet someone for the first time, chances are that within the first few back and forth questions to get to know each other, the question of what you do will come up quickly. Here, no one seems to care what anyone else does. Most of Chris’s family, who I’ve been seeing every year for the last five years, have no freaking clue what I do for a living, nor do they care. The question doesn’t even come up. And that’s not to say they don’t care about me, but they don’t care about the prestige or lack of prestige my job has. It feels so refreshing to not discuss work and money.
5. Orange yolked eggs. I cannot get enough of these. Chickens eat grass and bugs here, which is normal. In the U.S. for the most part, they eat corn and grain. That’s not normal. And that results in yellow yolks, which are never as pretty or as nutritious as the orange yolks.
6. Water is never poured into glasses for you when you sit down at a table. Servers usually ask you if you’d like water, then if you say yes, they bring over a water-filled carafe and two glasses. You serve yourself. Minimize water waste. The world needs it.
7. For my racist cousin: it’s common to see Asian man/white woman couples here and not just Asian woman/white man couples the way we do in the U.S.
8. CAR TAXES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. Your $40K Lexus in the U.S. will cost something like $100K here in Australia. Eeeek.
9. Australians in general get far more paid leave than the average American. However, when they do request leave, it’s such a big deal because they really do need someone to sub in for their work (me? I check email every single day I’m on paid time off and in many cases respond at least once a day). Most of the time, they are asking for leave and also providing a reason, so everyone knows what they are doing and where they are going. I’ve never really tried to justify my time of with a reason; in fact, most of my employers could care less what I do with my free time.
10. Bathrooms here are usually marked with signs that say “toilets” with a directional arrow. In the U.S., we usually write “restrooms.” I guess “resting” is eliminating body waste?
11. People in Australia hear so much and keep up with American news, and in America, we hear little to no Australian news. Australians care about the world, and America doesn’t give a shit and lives in its own bubble, literally believing that the world revolves around America. Isn’t that why so many people in America say they don’t care what foreigners think about U.S. policies or Trump being president, and are constantly saying they don’t need to take advice from people “who weren’t even born in this country”?

I don’t think I will ever get over how good Qantas service is compared to any U.S. airline service. Even when I first flew in their economy cabin, I felt like I was being treated with such respect in the way that a paying customer should be. In Business Class, it’s pretty much on steroids in terms of quality of service; they make your “bed” for you before it’s time to sleep, they check in with you to make sure you aren’t hungry or thirsty or need anything else, and when you hit your “call” button, the flight attendants come over in less than 2 minutes. When you ask them what small plates are available between official meals, they give you a full description of the dish and talk about how delicious and fulfilling it is as though they are servers working on tips in restaurants. On U.S. airlines, it’s “pasta” or “salad.” And in the U.S., you probably need to be choking or passed out for someone to come to your seat that quickly. U.S. workers in general are so freaking entitled.