On our overnight flight tonight from New York to London en route to Amsterdam, I finally watched Rocket Man, the movie about Elton John’s life. I learned so many things about him that I had no idea about: his original real name wasn’t Elton John, but Reginald Dwight. He had a negligent father and a psychotic relationship with his mother. I also had no idea that “Your Song” dates all the way back to 1970 and was one of his very first hit songs. I also love the relationship between him and his lyrics writer; the idea that you can just take a bunch of words and “add music” to them without the two individuals, the lyrics writer and the music writer, being in the same room or agreeing to these things is amazing to me.

What really struck me about this film was the relationship, or nonexistent relationship, between Elton John and his father. His father wanted nothing to do with him, would constantly ignore him, talk down to him, criticize him. Disturbingly enough, it actually conjured up memories of how Ed and our dad would interact with each other. Ed always wanted our dad’s attention, approval, kindness, and he just never got it. Ed would be ignored or criticized constantly. Even as an adult when my dad would criticize Ed, I could tell how much it shook him; nothing else in the world made him feel worse than my dad’s yelling and criticizing. Despite everything he tried, Ed couldn’t shake my dad’s insults off. He internalized them. Remembering it now upsets me and made me tear up during the film. A couple of those times, I told Ed to ignore him, that none of those words meant anything and they obviously weren’t true. But Ed couldn’t hear me because all he could do was replay the insults over and over in his head. It was like someone was constantly beating him in the head with these awful thoughts over and over again.

I especially felt the similarities when in the film, Elton John comes to visit his dad after his dad has started a new family and had kids with his second wife. Elton sees how involved his dad his with these new kids and how he still doesn’t care about Elton despite making it big. He doesn’t even care about the generous Chopard watch Elton presents to him as a gift; it means nothing to him because Elton means nothing to him.

Shit that parents do really affects children for the rest of their lives. It’s too bad that parents don’t get it.

We have “coffee klatch” meetings randomly scheduled at work so that colleagues have the opportunity to get to know other colleagues who they may not get the chance to work with day too day. I had one with a colleague who started about six months ago. Even though we’re technically on the same team, we really haven’t spoken much. It seems like it’s because I’m usually on the road, mostly for work, sometimes for pleasure, or one of us is working from home.

I told her about my YouTube channel a few months ago, and she was one of the very first people who not only followed and subscribed, but also watched my videos. She said that my videos have inspired her to start building her kitchen “staples,” such as rice, dried pasta, and spices. “Once I have all this stuff, I’ll be set for cooking!” she exclaimed.

That’s usually the biggest challenge of converting someone from a Seamless/food delivery devotee to a home cook: getting them to invest in the basics because it seems like a lot in the beginning. Well, it IS a lot in the beginning, but it certainly pays off. I’d really hate it if I had to run to the store just to pick up something as basic as olive oil or cumin. Those need to be on hand at all times.

The channel is still small, but the feedback I am getting has been quite positive. It only makes me want to continue and do more.

A visit to any state’s Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) has zero possibility of either being fun or entertaining. It is inevitably long, painful, and excruciating. You cannot even really listen to audio books or watch movies to make the time pass because you could miss your number getting called. And who would want to be at the DMV any longer than absolutely needed?

The last time I went to the DMV was to renew my driver’s license early in November 2014. I was in San Francisco and still (wrongly) using my California license even though I technically should have had it switched over to New York when I moved… but I was lazy and always thought I would move back. Well, 11 years later, I still haven’t moved back, and with the Real ID laws going into effect next year along with the expiration of my California driver’s license on my upcoming birthday in less than two months, I figured I had better suck it up and switch over to New York state.

You know a governmental process is terrible and disgustingly inefficient when you come in without an appointment and somehow get out sooner than someone who actually made an appointment in advance (California, I do not miss that about you). Five years ago, I was advised NOT to make an appointment because I’d have a longer wait time. This time around, I had no appointment at the DMV in Manhattan, and I was able to get out after just over two hours. My mind was numbed, but I was finally free.

As I handed over my credit card to process the payment for my new New York state driver’s license and my Real ID, the worker processing all my paperwork took my California license away. “You won’t be needing this anymore,” she smiled. “You’re a New Yorker now.”

My gut twitched a little when she said this. With this step, I’ve fully relinquished my California identity. I am not sure how I feel about that.

I was at Whole Foods this evening after getting back from Atlanta, looking in the nuts and seeds aisle, failing to find poppy seeds. I’m planning to use it for my long-awaited take on the vegan lemon coconut loaf I had in Vancouver last year that also had millet and poppy seed for added texture. Why would poppy seeds not be in the nuts and seeds aisle? I went up to a store associate, and she said I could find them in the spice aisle. “Poppy seeds — that’s a spice?” I wondered to myself. Why do poppy seeds get separated from, say, sesame seeds or pumpkin seeds? Where is the logic here? Who made all these random decisions that don’t seem to be rooted in any real sense?

I’ve been cheap this year, so I haven’t had my highlights redone at all until today. The last time I had my highlights done was in December of last year before leaving for our annual Christmas trip to Australia. Since then, I’ve had two trims which, including a generous tip, cost about $35 each. I texted my hairstylist to let her know I was coming, and she gave me her usual quote: cut plus wash plus highlights would be $160 for a full head (don’t ask me what “a half head” is). And once you add in a 25% tip, that’s $200 total. Note: you cannot get highlights and NOT do a wash, so don’t even try to ask her if you could skip the wash, because that’s not an option with any kind of hair dyeing.

That means that for 2019, I’ve spent $270 on hair maintenance. If I were good to my hair (and, apparently, my few new grays), I would have gotten highlights twice this year, which would have meant about $450 spent on my hair this year. Given that I had never gotten highlights or any real hair treatment until after I turned 31, I kind of think I shouldn’t feel so bad about spending this much on my hair now. Then, I quickly looked up how much the average woman spends on her hair; in the U.S., she spends about $960 per year. That’s a crap ton of money!

Then, I thought about how I used to only get two cuts per year. That means I spent about $60-70/year on hair prior to age 31. Wow, I really “saved” a lot of money next to the average woman, then!

It’s expensive being a woman. Add to this that when my hairstylist saw the length of my hair, she exclaimed about how long it’s getting. “Bella, to be honest, I usually charge $200 for a length like yours, but don’t worry, I will honor what I told you and charge you $160,” she said with a smile.

A $40 “discount”? I guess that was nice of her. Or, it’s just another way that women get penalized for being women and feminine.

Since I moved here 11 years ago, the options for ramen restaurants seems to only be getting bigger and bigger. Not only do we have a lot of our old standbys that are the ramen OGs, like Miso-Ya in the East Village, but we’ve got a number of ramen spots that have come straight from Japan. Ippudo was the biggest and most well known one, but today, we discovered E.A.K. Ramen right in Hell’s Kitchen. They are famous for Yokohama-style ramen and straight noodles, and they offer two main types of broth: shoyu (soy sauce based) and shio (salt based). The menu was also very vegetarian and vegan friendly, as there were several options to satisfy both types of diners. We came here tonight and really enjoyed the ramen, everything from the broths to the chashu to even the texture of the seasoned egg.

The other spot we were debating on going to was Ichiran, which is also from Japan. They are famous for having single-diner booth settings where you are fully focused and immersed on your ramen slurping experience. But I was surprised when I looked at their online menu and noticed that all their ramens start at $18.90, even the vegetarian option… and pretty much every topping other than the meat and noodles was considered extra. $3 for a seasoned egg on top of a bowl that is already $18.90? While I really do still want to try it, the idea of eating this at this price did not sit well with me. I already thought that Ippudo at around $16 per bowl was expensive, but this really tops it all.

When I uploaded my overnight oats YouTube video, although I was pretty satisfied with my different angles when filming and the editing I did, I didn’t really think it would be that popular of a video. Just five days later, though, it’s already gotten more views than any of my Indian cooking videos or my Oaxacan mole videos. And when I mentioned to my colleagues my latest video upload, a number of them started squealing and oohing and ahhing with delight that overnight oats was finally live. One said she’d make sure to watch it this weekend because she loved seeing me bring my mason jars in filled with my oats for breakfast during the summer. I didn’t realize how “exciting” oats would be to people. But I guess this goes to show that even when you think that something is boring or bland, others could completely think differently from what you’d assume.

Clearly, I need to do more studying on what appeals to the masses.

This year, I finally watched both of Ali Wong’s Netflix specials. While I didn’t find her first special particularly appealing, her second special after having a baby definitely had me laughing out loud. I also appreciated her even more knowing that she is Chinese-Vietnamese American and was born and raised in San Francisco. Being a stand-up comedian is hard, torturous, and oftentimes thankless (and painful and moneyless) work, but when you’re Asian American AND a woman? That’s enough to have anyone rethink the job and take on a safe white-collar 9-5 job instead. Once I saw her movie Always Be My Maybe, I was definitely hooked on her and officially a fan. She can be extremely crass and has a total potty mouth, but I actually think that adds to her unique charm. She’s brutally honest and authentic, and when you are an Asian American female, no one expects or wants that of you, so this becomes even more shocking when you hear her speak. I’ve been listening to the audio version of her book Dear Girls, a book she wrote for her daughters to read when they become adults, during my morning commutes this week, and it’s been such a happy, funny start to my day… quite a departure from listening to all the nonsense of President Dipshit via NPR’s Up First or the New York Times’s The Daily, which just makes my mind fall into a downward spiral given how dysfunctional our government and society are today.

So far, I pretty much agree with all her commentary and advice she’s giving to her daughters: move away from home to find yourselves, travel abroad when you can to understand another culture, another society; don’t follow in the footsteps of Asian American women who only date white men and say they consider Asian men like “brothers or family” because it’s actually internalized racism that they don’t realize.

However, I’m not sure I agree with her that vlogging cannot be a full time job. Does she have any idea how many hours can go into video editing…?!