Today, I learned that regular granulated white sugar in the U.S. is not vegan.

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I recently got off the library wait list for the cookbook The Vegan Chinese Kitchen: Recipes and Modern Stories from a Thousand-Year-Old Tradition, by Hannah Che. It recently won the James Beard Award for cookbooks and has been designated one of the best cookbooks of 2022. After just reading the introduction of the book on my Kindle, I found that it wasn’t surprising at all that she won a James Beard award for her writing: she is clearly passionate and obsessed with food in all its most minute details. When she decided to become a vegan, she worried that it would separate her from the traditions and food that her Chinese family celebrated. But then, she learned about zhai cai, the plant-based Chinese cuisine that emphasizes umami-rich ingredients that can be traced back over centuries to Buddhist temple kitchens.

Within just the first chapter, I found that I was not only loving her writing style, but I was learning so much about Chinese terms for food, flavor, and cooking, as well as… things that you’d think I should know about our own food supply, but I definitely do not (and you probably do not, either). Take this, for example: Hannah says she only cooks and bakes with organic white sugar because regular granulated cane sugar in the U.S. is actually processed with bone char. That’s right: animal ingredients are used in the processing of white (and even brown!) sugar in the U.S.! Specific brands like C&H don’t use bone char, which is often known and labeled as “natural carbon), and organic sugars completely ban the use of it. Granted, I’m not sure how other countries bleach their cane sugar to ensure it is white, but this is sadly what the U.S. does that few people are aware of. And if you doubt it, feel free to visit this PETA page that details more about this terrible process. It’s truly a shame and an embarrassment that the most basic processes are kept a secret in our food industry.

Today, at age 38, I learned that regular granulated white sugar in the United States is not vegan. That is absolutely bonkers.

Paronychia

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Since my middle school years, I’ve been a cuticle and nail picker. No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to stop the habit. I especially do it a lot when I’m annoyed, bored, or frustrated. There is only one thing that historically has worked to prevent me from doing this, and that is having regular manicures. Back in my digital agency days when I used to get taken out by Google all the time, there was a group of female Google reps who loved to get their nails done, so they used to take me and my female teammates out for regular mani-pedis (in other words, they treated us with their massive T&E budgets to treat themselves, which in the end, benefited both parties). And that gave birth to my own spending, as I would research Groupon deals and the equivalent for cheap mani-pedis. When I see that my nails look perfect and pretty, I have zero urge to pick them. Now that I am a mother, though, I don’t want Kaia exposed to those fumes, nor do I want my nail polish flaking off into food I prepare for her. Plus, I’m too cheap to get my nails done at a salon regularly. And I’m also too lazy and impatient to do my own fingernails, though I do paint my own toenails during warmer months.

I also tried using cuticle oil, but that is a very short-lasting remedy for me because once the oil dries out (which is often since I use my hands for everything, and cooking does not help this), the urge to pick comes back again!

Finger nail/cuticle picking unfortunately runs in my family: it all stems from my dad, who has this gross habit of picking the skin on his fingers and his cuticles. When Ed was still alive, he also struggled with the habit, though it wasn’t as conspicuous or disgusting as my dad’s. My dad used to leave massive amounts of his dead skin in the computer keyboard we all shared. I used to have to constantly clean the desk from all his dead skin and shake out the keyboard, and it was really making me mad (plus, it just wasn’t sanitary!). So one day as a teenager, I made the ballsy move to confront my dad and tell him to stop picking his nails over the keyboard because it was messy. Predictably, he erupted into a roar and screamed at me, telling me he never did that. Instead, he insisted that it was actually MY skin that was all over the keyboard every day. That was a truly fun exchange. That same day he exploded at me, my mom’s friend had come over for a less-than-fun visit. During her short stay at our house that day, she got to hear my dad talk to himself loudly in the kitchen about how his daughter was a bitch as he rummaged through bags and cabinets and did a bunch of nothing. My mom got so embarrassed by her husband’s behavior that she told her friend that she’d be back in a moment. She went into the kitchen, closed the door, and quietly yelled at my dad to stop talking to himself. My dad loudly whispered back, “She accused me of picking my nails over the computer, and I never did it!” It sounded like a child retorting back to his mother and was even more embarrassing for me to overhear as the child of this man child.

Anyway, so during our trip to El Salvador, I had a weird hang nail on the side of my left thumb. We didn’t travel with a nail clipper, and because it bothered me so much, I ended up ripping it out, leading to the side of my finger bleeding. I didn’t think it was a big deal and figured it would heal after I washed it. Well, days later, while I can see that my nail is slowly but surely growing back, a pain had appeared every time I touched or pressed the side of my left thumbnail. It started to turn red, and I realized the pain wasn’t subsiding after a few days. So I then went down the Google rabbit hole, which led me to the term “paronychia.” Paronychia refers to an infection of the skin around a finger or toenail. When the infected areas can get swollen, red, and painful, and a pus-filled blister can even form. Most of the time, it’s not serious and can go away on its own. In rare cases, it can spread to the rest of the finger or toe and lead to a deeper infection that may need antibiotics or a doctor’s help.

Luckily, I started doing the home remedy recommended, which is to soak your finger in warm salt water for 15-20 minutes a few times a day to help the nail heal on its own. After a day of doing this, the pain has definitely lessened, but it still persists when pressure is applied to my nail. Now, I also see a tiny white spot that’s developed right around the area where the hangnail used to be.

This is probably a good sign for me to find a real remedy to fix my nail/cuticle picking habits because the last thing I want is a real infection due to my own nasty picking habit.

Our toddler’s keen observations about her mummy’s body

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I hope I never forget Kaia’s precious early years. I suppose that’s partly why I write about seemingly mundane and everyday moments with her here. Even in times when she is extremely disagreeable and having her worst tantrums, I realize that I still find extreme joy in having her in my life. She has given me a different view of the world, which is the view through a young child’s eyes. We are all children only once, and so it is a sweet reminder of innocence to have young children in your life who happily and eagerly share all their observations with you. They truly live in the moment, whereas we as adults don’t; instead, we constantly obsess over the future, whether that future is the next hour, next day, or next month or year.

While in San Salvador, we did not have a bathtub in our room, so I had to do showers with her to bathe her. While in the shower together, we’re obviously both naked. Kaia is generally not a fan of the shower, and so it took a while to get her comfortable. Once she stopped whining, she got excited and started pointing her fingers towards both of my breasts.

“Those are mummy’s watermelon!” she exclaimed with glee.

Hmmm. I barely have A-cup breasts, even after 14 months of breastfeeding. She has an interesting perception of what size “watermelons” are.

Then, Kaia proceeded to point at my anus while I was rinsing my leg off of soap. “That’s where mummy poops!”

She is, as Chris’s dad says, “a real delight.”

A couple weeks ago when I was on my period, she accompanied me into the bathroom while I peed, which is one of her favorite things to do lately (which I’m hoping means she will be ready for potty training soon…). She peered into my underwear and noticed my pad, which had some blood on it. She then looked up at me and smiled.

“Mummy have diaper,” Kaia said. “Diaper have poop.”

I told her that it wasn’t a diaper, that it was actually a pad. “Mummy have pad,” Kaia murmured. “Mummy have diaper pad.”

It’s so damn cute. I just want to grab her and squeeze her sometimes… and just sniff her again and again.

Tin Marin Children’s Museum in San Salvador

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On our last morning in El Salvador, we went to Tin Marin Children’s Museum, which is reputed to be one of the best children’s museums… possibly in the world. It is incredibly extensive, with both large indoor and outdoor areas. The indoor area has numerous sections and rooms devoted to learning and development, from construction (building), supermarket shopping (of course, my baby’s favorite), restaurant cooking and dining (of course, play pupusas were represented even with their fresh tomato salsa and curtido accompaniments, so we’re very in touch with local flavors, plus a pizzeria, an ice cream/sorbet cart, a dairy shop, and a dried grains/beans vendor), an education area about your mouth and dental hygiene, volcano and earthquake education; a real car for kids to paint (so messy but fun!), to even a full fledged mini theater with dress up for slightly older kids and a puppet show. No detail was overlooked in the creation of each of these sections; I was truly blown away by the thoughtfulness of the tiniest features throughout. The outdoor area was also incredible, with a real fire truck from the 1930s area (shipped from Canada, one of the attendants told me), part of a real ship, as well as a real part of an actual airplane. You could even smell the airplane interior — there was no mistaking that old airplane scent. The museum outdoor area also had a butterfly conservatory where many tropical and colorful butterflies were fluttering about.

I thought about this experience and how comprehensive it was in comparison with the experiences I know to be true of the Manhattan Children’s Museum on the Upper West Side. The entry fee has gone up since last year and is $16.75 for children (over the age of 1!!) and adults. It doesn’t even have half of what Tin Marin offers. The supermarket area itself is depressing next to the massive, comprehensive one we experienced here. Tin Marin’s little supermarket even had “salmon” fillets made of rubber, as well as an entire dairy section and medication/formula area. Here, the admission fee was a mere $3.50 for endless exhibits and hands-on fun.

In general, I left El Salvador marveling over how child-friendly and inviting it was. Entre Nubes, the coffee farm/cafe we went to yesterday, also had a huge children’s play area with a massive, colorful play house with a play structure attached to it with slides and all. The library from our first full day was made for young children. In New York, or really, the U.S., children aren’t really included or considered when people build general public spaces. That’s why museums like the Children’s Museum on the Upper West Side cost so much. Why should a child, age 1, be charged $16.75 to enter a children’s play museum…?! That just sounds like price gouging at its worst!

Ruta de las Flores, El Salvador

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Ruta de las Flores, or route of the flowers, is a road in El Salvador that runs through multiple picturesque, colonial towns and is semi hidden along the Apaneca hills. El Salvador is home to a number of different ethnic groups, such as the Nahaus and Aztecs, and many of these ethnic groups represent towns along this route. We traveled on this route on our last full day in El Salvador today.

We stopped in two towns along the way: Nahuizalco, where there was a very vibrant fresh produce market. In Nahuatl, Nahuizalco means “The 4 Izalcos,” as the town was originally founded by four families from the town of Izalco. The buildings were quite colorful here, and we stopped to have a mini lunch of rice, marinated beef in a tomato sauce, and some freshly made pupusas; we also stopped in Juaya, whose name in Nahuatl means “River of Purple Orchids.” There was a big food festival happening here when we came today, so we ate a big plate of carne asada, veggies, and pupusas (of course) on the street and had some freshly blended pineapple juice here. We also managed to escape a torrential downpour that lasted for a good portion of our meal since we were eating under a tent!

Our last stop before headed back to San Salvador was at a coffee farm and cafe that our hotel manager had recommended to us called Entre Nubes. The hotel manager said he hadn’t been there yet, but a friend had told him about it. It’s a huge restaurant cafe with a coffee farm/garden attached to it where they serve full breakfast and lunch meals, as well as endless coffee drinks. They also do coffee tours upon request, which we did. While the coffee tour walk was a bit underwhelming since the coffee beans were just sprouting, it was interesting to hear the process of coffee beans from plant to bean in El Salvador and how different it is vs. other parts of the world. Back in the 1970s, El Salvador was once the largest global exporter of coffee. Today, it stands as number 19 for coffee exporters, but it definitely does not make the coffee less tasty. There are three major varietals of arabica beans that they produce: bourbon (the majority), pacas, and pacamaras, the last of which is a hybrid of the pacas and maragogipe beans. Bourbon is the fruitiest and most acidic of the three; pacamaras has a fruity aroma and a rich, complex coffee-like flavor. we tried three different types of coffees at the end of the tour, and we liked the Pacamaras black honey one the best.

We also visited Cafe La Casona in the San Benito neighborhood of San Salvador the day before, which also had a full food menu and a pretty extensive list of coffee drinks as well as all the possible coffee brewing preparations. Coffee is definitely very serious here in El Salvador, and it was a delicious experience to be able to taste multiple times during our trip.

Fruit varieties in El Salvador: Tropical, unique, and sometimes even fuzzy

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Since our delicious trip to Colombia in May 2019, so exactly five years ago, I hadn’t been this excited to try local fruit while traveling. El Salvador, being in Central America, has a warm, tropical climate, which then makes it a great place for delicious fruit that you cannot get (or at least, get easily) in the U.S. While they have the usual fruits you’d expect, such as mangoes, pineapples, and papayas (all were extremely sweet and delicious!), we also came across and tried some new and unique ones we’d never previously tasted.

Paternas: This is one of those fruits that may appear strange to you as a Westerner if you’ve never had it. It strongly resembles petai or “stink beans” in its pod-like structure, which is HUGE. When you split the green pod open, a row of white seeds is revealed. The seeds are all covered in a soft, white, almost fuzzy marshmallow-like coating. When you eat these, you’re meant to use your teeth and scrape the white fuzzy fruit off the seeds. While the seeds should not be consumed raw (they’re quite hard), Salvadorans like to have the seeds boiled and then eat them as a snack with salt and lemon juice. This was not our favorite, as it was a bit of work and not much flesh, but it did have an interesting sweet flavor, plus a unique fuzzy texture.

Mamones (mamon for singular): These are very sour, tangy round fruits the size of extra-large cherries with a huge pit inside. When you crack through the hard green shell, a pale salmon-pink colored flesh is revealed that is similar to that of a lychee. Some are more sweet than sour. Overall, I’d compare them to those hard warheads candies that rotted my teeth as a child: you suck on them and then spit them out. While you can certainly gnaw on the flesh, it will cause a bit of extra work for you later when you floss. Somehow, I managed to get through about three pounds of these mamones (Chris only ate about 5-6), which cost just $1 at the local market in Centro Historico! When I saw them, I remembered we had them on the road from Medellin to Guatape in Colombia. There, they are known as mamoncillo.

Mamey: These appear like the mamey in Mexico, but are a completely different fruit (Mexican mamey fruit is called sapote here in El Salvador). They have a hard, brown exterior that is rough, almost like a cross between sand paper and a mature brown coconut. Once it’s peeled, a deep red-orange flesh is revealed. It tasted like something between a mango and a papaya, with faintly sweet flesh. Some pieces were softer, while others were crunchy. We got a large bag of mamey already peeled and cut up for us at the market for $1.

Nances: These look like yellow or orange colored cherries and are of a similar size. I got a bag of these fruit from a road side fruit vendor, and I have a feeling they were not quite ripe, unfortunately. Though I have read that locals eat nances both ripe and unripe. The fruits we had purchased were already warm in a bag, and when I opened it, this very different, almost fermented smell started coming out that was reminiscent of durian in terms of its pungency. When I bit into them, they were extremely chalky in texture. I wish I had the opportunity to eat these ripe, but alas, you just can’t try everything everywhere!

Mangoes: Clearly mangoes are not a new fruit for us, as we are THE mango family and always will be. But I do know that the mangoes grown and sold in El Salvador are not like the ones we get in the U.S. or have tried in India or Australia. Though I have read the variety is called either Indian or Creole mango, all I know for sure is that all the mangoes being sold at the markets and fruit stands are all a deep red color, with splashes of deep yellow and orange. Salvadorans love to eat their mangoes almost ripe and just ripe, so when you buy them pre-peeled and cut, they are usually one of these options (or even very unripe and green!). It must be a cultural thing, as in India, they love their mangoes extremely ripe to the point where they are so juicy that they drip down your arms as you eat them. Here in El Salvador, mangoes are usually served topped with different hot chili flakes, lime, or different savory/salty toppings. But when we had ours twice, I only wanted the ripe plain mangoes and specified this to the vendors. Even the semi-ripe mangoes had a strong sweet fragrance that made my mouth water. These mangoes were ultra delicious: they had this really pleasant, firm, almost meaty texture when you bite into them. Then, when you start chewing, the flavor is strong, potent, and in-your-face. It reminded me of the flavor and sweetness of the Filipino dried (and sugared) mangoes I used to have as a treat when I was a child that my grandma would often buy for us. They were so addictive; both times we had them, I was so sad when I was on my last bite.

Coconuts: We stopped at a road side stall and I asked for coconut water from a fresh coconut. Here, the coconut is usually already cut open, the juice poured into a plastic bag with the young coconut meat shaven, then stored in an ice chest until it’s purchased. But when I went up to the stall, I asked if I could have a freshly cracked one. The vendor happily agreed. She went to another ice chest where she had fat green coconuts stored, hacked it open with a machete, proceeded to pour the glorious juice into a bit pitcher, shaved the thick coconut shavings out, and then placed it all (a bit precariously!) into a big plastic bag with a straw. To drink this, you needed to hold the bag and the straw; there was no placing the bag down on any surface, otherwise the juice would be lost! It was cool, sweet and incredibly refreshing. The young white coconut flesh pieces were so satisfying and meaty.

Papaya: We had this in juice form several times, and it was delicious and sweet, unlike the miserable hit-or-miss papayas back in the U.S. I happily ordered this during our times eating out. We also enjoyed it as part of the breakfast buffet at our hotel, where it was a welcome end to brekkie. I could eat this papaya every single day and be totally satisfied.

Fruit in El Salvador has been an adventure in itself. I always think of people who live in regions of the world like here and Colombia and wonder to myself: if they have the chance to come to the U.S., they must really feel sorry for us and how pathetic our fruit is. I still remember our guide in Guatape, Colombia, and how he said he’d been to the U.S. and found what we call “orange juice” absolutely atrocious.

Biblioteca Nacional de El Salvador (BINAES)

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The Biblioteca Nacional de El Salvador, or the National Library of El Salvador, abbreviated as BINAES, is the national library of El Salvador that was opened in November 2023. It is conveniently located in the heart of the city, just steps away from the Metropolitan Cathedral. Given that the current president Nayib Bukele had announced the construction of the library back in late 2019 in partnership with the Chinese government, this library is also seen as a symbol of El Salvador’s rebirth to many. The library is also meant to be seen as a way to “buy” El Salvador’s support of China and ultimately not to recognize Taiwan as its own country, but that’s another story for another day.

The library appears very impressive from the outside and the inside. But probably what astounded me the most was the first floor and exactly how child-friendly it was. There are multiple zones on the enormous first floor, all separated by target age group, where babies, toddlers, and young children can play and explore. Everything is bright and multi-colored. There are sensory bins, areas for building puzzles and different block structures. There are sensory books for feeling and smelling, as well as books in not just Spanish but English and other romance languages. There are climbing play structures; ball pits, endless cars and trucks; nature-like play areas that resemble forests and the outdoors, and comfy cushioned and pillowed reading areas for littles. When I walked around the first floor, I wasn’t quite sure if this was meant to be a library or a children’s fun/play center.

Kaia flipped through a number of the books. She loved climbing on the play structures, pushing the toy trucks and cars around, and of course, giggled with glee while in the ball pit. The toys and books selection was really large, and all were in excellent condition. The condition of almost all the books we touched seemed nearly brand new. Pookster could have easily spent the whole day in this play and reading area. The touches were extremely thoughtful. There’s even a lactation room for nursing and pumping, and every bathroom has a clean changing station.

And of course, my child decided to poop while running around the library.

Traveling to El Salvador in 2024 – safety speculation

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I’ll be honest: before Chris booked this trip, I knew very little about El Salvador. I knew the name of its capital city (San Salvador), I knew it was located in Central America, and I knew its national (and most famous) dish is pupusas (well, of course, because my world revolves around food). I also knew it was known for its coffee and beaches, but that’s pretty much it in a quick summary.

Historically, crime in El Salvador has been high due to various gangs, many multinational, that reigned over the country. But since just before 2019, it appears that crime has actually been going down. The new president Niyab Bukele instituted a zero-tolerance crack down on gangs, which led to the highest incarceration rate in the world, with an estimated 1.6% of the country’s total population supposedly imprisoned. In addition to that, Bukele has been working with business people from outside of the country to encourage them to invest in El Salvador to help grow tourism, with more hotel infrastructure. Bukele is aiming to position El Salvador as the top tourism spot in all of Latin America. He obviously has large groups of supporters and detractors, but at the end of the day, he’s attempting to make the country safer for both its citizens as well as international travelers such as ourselves.

It should come as no surprise that the U.S. State Department has labeled El Salvador with a Level 3 Warning: Reconsider Travel, due to gang-related activity and the country’s homicide rate. So given this, a number of friends have given us funny looks when we said we were going here for an extended Memorial Day weekend. One of my friends asked if El Salvador would be safe for us, especially with Pookster in tow. The response was a bit reminiscent of what I remember people saying to us back in May 2019 when we went to Colombia — we got questions about safety and violence, and I had friends checking in with us while we were there to ensure we were safe. I remember our time in Colombia with great gusto and love: the food really surprised and impressed me; I left the country feeling like Colombia truly doesn’t get enough recognition for its delicious food, as it’s constantly overshadowed by more popular (with Western crowds, at least) cuisines like Peruvian or Argentinian. I loved how hospitable people were everywhere we went in Colombia. The tropical fruit was especially astounding and memorable given its unique proximity to the Amazon. And never once did I feel like we were actually unsafe… except for the couple of times when our Uber drivers freaked out on our behalf and told us not to get out of the car yet, especially in Medellin. And now, fast forward five years later, and it seems like every other time I hear about a bachelor/bachelorette party weekend or a guys’ trip (usually amongst my white male sales colleagues), it seems to be in Bogota, Medellin, or Cartegena. That’s when you know for sure that a place has become mainstream amongst my fellow Americans.

So I wasn’t sure what to expect for this trip. It was a bit challenging to plan what we were going to do given so few travel bloggers have written about the country as a whole. So I made a rough list of places to see, including the Tin Marin Children’s Museum, which from the photos, looked like it could be one of the most extensive children’s museums in the world; I added a few food places that I could find in English and decided we’d just wing whatever other meals based on how things looked or what neighborhood we’d be in. And Chris decided that we’d rent a car for ease of getting around.

Once we arrived in the afternoon after two quick flights (about 2.5 hours to Miami, and another 2-ish hours to San Salvador), we went out for some lunch. We tried to have our first lunch at restaurant that overlooked the city from high up, but to our dismay, a thick blanket of fog wrapped over us, and we couldn’t see a single thing from our open-air restaurant. So we decided to focus on the food: we ordered a few pupusas: black beans with cheese, cheese with loroco (a local green flower herb that’s very popular here), chicharron con queso (chicharron, in this part of the world, does not actually refer to crispy pork skin as it does in Mexico, but rather just ground pork), plus an order of empanadas. I was surprised when the empanadas came because I was expecting something different: in El Salvador, the default empanadas are actually sweet, with the outside being made of fried sweet plantains and the inside usually filled with a sweet cheese, custard, and occasionally fried black beans. It was still tasty, and we learned something new in the process. Lastly, we also had freshly blended papaya juice (I LOVE papaya when not in the continental U.S.!!) and local horchata, which is different than Mexican horchata (usually rice and cinnamon based). Salvadoran horchata has morro seeds, which are said to have an earthy flavor. In addition, the drink also contains cocoa beans, sesame seeds, peanuts, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sugar; the mix is steeped either with milk or with water to create a thick, frothy, refreshing drink. We loved our drinks and marveled over how large the servings were.

Pookster had a lot of fun en route to San Salvador. While exiting the plane in Miami during our layover, she kept waving back to the plane as we were on the ramp and saying over and over, “Bye bye, airplane! Bye bye!” She certainly brought amusement to other passengers with this. She sang and babbled happily during our car rides around the city. Though, she unfortunately did not care for the pupusas or the empanadas.

On the road on our first day, Chris took the wrong route, and he yelled, “Fucking hell!” loudly a few times as we were getting re-routed by Google Maps. Kaia took audible pleasure in every time Chris yelled or shouted, and she repeated him and also added, “Fucking hell! Fucking nuts!” While the first part can clearly be noted as a parroting of what Chris previously had said, it was obvious that the second part… was something that she had clearly heard said by someone else before. And that someone else was definitely not me…

My baby is definitely becoming a tiny human with distinct quirks, opinions, and sayings, all over the world.

When we parked the car for the night in the hotel parking lot, just to be safe, we decided to completely empty the car of everything other than the car seat. This really meant we were taking the stroller in and out, even when we didn’t need it. Because my other thought was: okay, if we have something of ours stolen, it is what it is… but if we get my friend’s stroller stolen, that means we’ll need to explain that and also get it replaced, which would suck. In these cases, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Shared stories on the playground: when your child helps with another child’s daycare transition

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A few weekends ago, Chris’s parents and I were at the nearby playground while Kaia was playing. One of Kaia’s old classmates, who was doing temporary backup care a few days a week in her class, showed up with her mom, who I used to have some small talk with during pickups. Her daughter ended up going to another full-time daycare a few blocks away, so we hadn’t seen them since late last year. We chatted while our kids were getting reacquainted with each other and she shared a story that I had no idea about.

Her daughter was transitioning from being at home full-time with their nanny into being at daycare full-time, so her parents wanted to ease her into daycare at three days a week. Her adjustment was really rough: she said that for the first several months, drop-off was constantly torturous, and she and her husband seriously reconsidered whether daycare was a fit for their daughter at this stage in her development. But she did notice that when she’d pick her up and take her home, her daughter kept mentioning Kaia’s name, always while happy and smiling. She didn’t know who Kaia was, but she figured from the live video footage that Kaia must be the classmate that her daughter was always playing with. She shared that Kaia was always leading the way for her daughter, helping and guiding her, and she was the biggest reason that her daughter would be willing to go to school every morning. Every time she’d say Kaia’s name, her daughter’s face would light up and she’d get excited. She’d coax her with, “Remember? Kaia will be at school with you. If you don’t go to school, then you won’t see Kaia.” And this would motivate her to stop crying, get ready, and willingly go out the door each morning to school.

I was so happy to run into them and hear this story. If we hadn’t bumped into each other in the playground, I would never have known this to be true. But it warmed my heart to know that my own sweet baby was making life easier for others to adjust to new environments. I hope my child can be a little leader, one who sets good examples… and hopefully is not the bully.

Clothing preference in toddlers – “Look at my new dress” that I hated five minutes ago

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Over a year ago, when my friend told me that her then 2-year-old was expressing strong preferences about clothes she wore to daycare, I was really confused. As a child, I remember I didn’t express clothing preferences to my mom until I was seven years old. So age two seemed very premature to me.

With Kaia in the last few months, she’s definitely expressed affinity to certain pieces of clothing over others. Most of the time, she’s pretty indifferent, but when she has an opinion, she really really has that opinion. For instance, she loves this little knit/crochet cardigan that Chris’s cousin handmade for her. She loves all vests and pull-over dresses. And she especially loves all her dresses; the bigger the fluff and tulle, the better. She’s been gifted at least seven or eight different tutu dresses, so she certainly has no shortage of tulle. She doesn’t seem to understand why she cannot wear the same dress, pants, or shorts multiple days in a row. The concept of being “dirty” has not quite developed in her head just yet.

The funny thing is, sometimes, you just have to put your foot down and make her wear something. There is no way I’m letting her just wear the 10 percent of things she has in her closet that she loves. So, I make her wear certain things despite her tantrums and crying. She needs to wear all of these nice clothes that she’s so privileged to have… before she outgrows all of them. I do NOT like or tolerate waste. And somehow, just somehow, after I manage to get the new dress or sweater on her, she ends up loving it. I put on a new dress for her on Friday, which she refused and said she didn’t want — always a struggle the first time. She even tolerated the matching headband (a total shock since she hasn’t worn a headband in over a year!) and didn’t rip it off. And when she emerged from her bedroom with it, Kaia twirled around in her new blue, yellow, and white dress, and said to Suma, “Look at my new dress! I like it.”

Welp, that’s Pookster the Punkster for you.