On our last day in Turkey before we headed back to the U.S., as the last thing we did before heading to the airport, we walked from our hotel to the Museum of Innocence, a quirky museum in the Cukurcuma neighborhood of Beyoglu, Istanbul, that is based on the Orhan Pamuk book also called the Museum of Innocence. In a nutshell, the museum and novel are about a love story between a wealthy businessman named Kemal and a younger, poorer, distant relative of his, Fusun. Kemal is actually engaged to another woman of his same social class and circle, but after meeting Fusun at a shop where he went to purchase a handbag for his fiancee, he immediately becomes entranced with Fusun, and they begin a very quick and intense emotional and physical love affair. The museum documents the entire book in the form of collected pieces of jewelry, cups, glasses, and other random items; vignettes, stories, newspaper articles, and other objects from that period of the late 70s to early 80s in Istanbul. It stands somewhat as a historical piece depicting the culture of the time then in Istanbul and Turkey overall, and also as a more narrow story of Kemal and Fusun. The general themes that are quickly picked up just by visiting the museum and without reading the book are the cultural differences between East and West (they often talk about how those in Europe are “sophisticated, educated, and progressive,” and those in the East, or in Turkey specifically, are old-fashioned and regressive, stuck in a period of time that has passed. The museum also emphasizes the importance of female purity in Turkey and how virginity was of utmost importance until marriage; women who had sexual relations with men prior to wedlock, regardless of whether it was the man they ended up marrying, were seen as scarred and dirty, and ultimately “lesser than.” The museum even depicted newspaper columns that actually showed the FACES of women who purportedly had had sex before marriage, basically warning men, “Hey, these women are impure! Beware!” We spent a couple of hours at the museum, listening to the audio guide by section. I was a bit intrigued, so I decided that when we came home, I’d get the audio book to see how the book was.

I’m about a few hours into the book, and it’s definitely a very intense love affair, narrated by Kemal, who frankly comes off as obsessed, a little narcissistic, narrow-minded, and selfish, and most definitely creepy. I’m not totally sure I want to continue listening, but what the heck, I’ve already started… in total, it’s 20+ hours long! I suppose, though, that’s the general theme of major love stories that have made history, ranging from Lolita to Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary. However, the difference here is that while I’ve actually read Lolita and Madame Bovary, this book veers on the side of Anna Karenina where the guy in question just keeps droning on and on, constantly obsessing, resulting in confirming exactly how creepy, stalker-ish, and selfish he is (well, isn’t that the theme of all men of all time?). It’s kind of amazing how over history, stories of selfish, obsessive, creepy men make history so often, yet as soon as you hear of a selfish woman, all bets are off.

Kemal is truly ridiculous, though, and in many ways, a total loser in my mind. I have very little to no pity for him as a character, as he’s highly unrelatable and pathetic. Even after he breaks off his engagement with Sibel, his fiancee, and finds out Fusun is married, he continues to try to pursue her, and even goes on to INVITE himself over for dinner/coffee/tea at her home 3-4 nights a week for EIGHT YEARS, where she lives with her husband and parents. It’s truly insane and just borderline worthy of sticking this guy into a stray jacket. Honestly, I’m not sure I’d recommend the book to anyone unless they really wanted to read an obsessive man’s account of his ridiculous love for a woman, but hey, to each their own!

Whenever we’re traveling, whether it’s out of state or out of the country, I always think about the differences in how people behave and treat each other. One of the biggest differences you notice right away when you go to Turkey when you’re American (or at least, an American from a city like San Francisco or New York) is that when people go to a cafe, it’s actually to enjoy the cafe: they will get a drink, perhaps something big or small to eat, and they will catch up with a loved one, people watch, or just sit there and enjoy their drink and the general ambiance of the place. They actually a culture of people want to live in and enjoy the moment. In most cafes and coffee shops in San Francisco and New York, you will be guaranteed to see a sea of laptops, tablets, and people on their phones squatting at tables and seats at cafes. These people are all obsessed with work, productivity, and getting shit done… or at least, appearing to be obsessed with one or all of the above. A small minority of these tables/seats will be occupied by people actually conversing. And that is SUPER frustrating for people like me, who try to go to cafes to catch up with another person, whether that’s been my mentee, a friend/colleague, or a college interview candidate.

Another difference we noticed when we decided to rent a car in Antalya is best practices around driving. In the U.S., if there are two lanes on a highway, and you think someone in the fast lane is driving too slowly, you will typically just switch to the slow lane, speed up to get ahead of them, and then re-enter the fast lane ahead of them. In Antalya, we noticed that when people thought we were slow, instead of changing lanes, they’d actually start tailgating us, which to me, felt very aggressive. So in other words, that was their way to tell us, “Hey, you’re slow. Get out of the fast lane into the slow lane.” And if you don’t heed their advice, they can get very aggressive. Several of them pulled into the slip lanes alongside us to try to cut us off. Some of them literally got BETWEEN two lanes (and well, two cars — thank God we were all driving tiny compact cars!!) to cut us off. One driver even got out of the car and tried to talk to us at a stop light, which was really unnecessary. But that’s all from my perspective. Maybe from THEIR perspective, we were actually the ones being the jerks and not doing what could be standard in Turkish driving culture.

A last thing that is always noticeable to me when I’m traveling in Europe is how much people smoke, both indoors and out. This is clearly my very American side, but I really cannot stand cigarette smoke. In the U.S., you never really have to worry about this because smoking is pretty much outlawed in any indoor dining establishment, and even with restaurants that have outdoor seating, smoking either isn’t allowed or is done very sparingly. And now being pregnant, I especially want to avoid second hand smoke at all costs. Almost every place we sat at, cafe or restaurant, had people smoking, whether it was indoors or out. I could rarely sit and enjoy a smoke-free experience anywhere we sat, and if I did, that smoke-free period would soon come to an end. But that’s just normal in Europe. Sure, we all know it’s bad for our health, and I’m sure they do, too, but they don’t care because they enjoy it and want to live in the moment. Once in Istanbul, we changed tables because of the smoking from a couple sitting next to us. The server didn’t quite understand why we wanted to switch, and Chris emphasized to him that I was pregnant (he pointed at my belly and motioned his own belly to show a curve shape), and the server finally got it.

But all in all, the cultural differences are what make traveling fun. In retrospect, it makes me sad that we won’t be able to do much international travel for the foreseeable future given the pandemic plus my advancing pregnancy, but now, my main focus is making sure my baby and I are healthy and will have as smooth as a labor and delivery as possible. And then hopefully, assuming all goes well, months will pass, and baby can travel with us and be a little globe trotter.

Today, we ventured out of the European side of Istanbul and took a boat to the Asian side of this multicultural city. Istanbul is one of just a handful of cities in the world that is actually bi-continental: part of it is technically in Europe, while part of it is in Asia. I already loved everything about this city, but knowing this makes me love it even more.

Since I last came ten years ago, a lot has changed. For one thing, the Camlica Camii (mosque) had not been built. It’s now the largest and most modern mosque in all of Turkey, designed by two female architects and recently completed in 2019. This mosque is massive, sitting atop a hill with a stunning panoramic view of all of Istanbul. It has the most extensive public bathroom I have ever seen, complete with an entire massive room just for feet washing (you have to take your shoes off in most mosques), a multi-level underground car park, and architectural touches that were inspired by the Ottoman Empire period. The building and inaugration of this mosque was considered a mega project with the goal to strengthen the Turkish economy, so in some ways, it could be seen as a bit of a tourist push or even a method of propaganda, but hey, I’m all for enjoying these things if I can. In addition to this huge and sparkling mosque, the Kucuk Camlica TV Radio Tower was also inaugurated just a few months ago on the Asian side of Istanbul. When we first arrived and walked across the Galata Bridge, I definitely did not recognize this radio tower, and then immediately learned why.

The last time I came to Istanbul, I really didn’t do much research ahead of time, so when I got whisked off on a boat to the “Asian” side of Istanbul, it felt like a seaside town in the form of a tourist trap, with many annoying souvenir shops filled with junk I’d never consider buying and fresh seafood restaurants. It was a decent afternoon outing, but it wasn’t at all representative of everyday Istanbul life. This time around, we took a regular commuter boat and went to the Kadikoy area, which is a part of the Asian side where real, everyday people actually live. I could immediately feel the difference walking through the streets of Kadikoy, as it felt a lot more local with all of its many restaurants, cafes, bakeries, and markets. I knew this area had to be more local because a lot of the shops had workers and owners who didn’t speak a lick of English. That was totally fine by me since deliciousness speaks for itself, as I found out from a tiny local corner bakery along one of our strolls, where we picked up a beautiful and super scrumptious olive pasted filled bread round. The man who worked there knew zero English, and I don’t know any Turkish outside of hello, thank you, and good morning, so body language and hand motions went a long way!

In addition to stopping by this amazing little bakery by chance, we also spent some time hanging out and enjoying coffee and tea drinks at a local open-air cafe, visiting the Camlica Camii, unexpectedly riding on a mini bus (where someone actually got out of their seat to offer it to me – so sweet!), eating at a fresh seafood restaurant, tasting a local French-Turkish treat called a Kup Griye (essentially a decadent mix of caramel and vanilla ice cream, topped with a nutty crunchy croquant, whipped cream, nuts, caramel sauce, and a tiny little buttery biscuit), and ending our evening at Ciya Sofrasi, a restaurant Chris learned about that was from the Netflix show Chef’s Table. Boy, was this meal memorable. Given we had eaten all these other things during the day, we shared one main and two desserts, along with a plum juice. We had a kebab, which I believe was beef-based, but super tender and meaty with the most luxurious stewed tomatoes and eggplant pieces. We also ordered our first (and last) kunefe, which was not as sweet or immersed in sugar syrup as we were used to. In addition, the cheese layer was extremely thin. I’m so used to kunefe back in the U.S. having a super thick layer of cheese, whether it’s been at Turkish restaurants in Brooklyn or in the Middle Eastern areas of Detroit. But the real star and takeaway for me from this meal was the baklava. In the US and even with other baklava we’d had at the hotels during this trip, I’m used to baklava being extremely sweet, almost too cloyingly sweet, rendering me only able to eat one or two pieces before I have to stop. With this baklava, not only was the sweetness was light, the layers of phyllo themselves were even thinner than paper and far more delicate than what they normally are. In addition, the sweetness was not the first thing that hit me; instead, the first things that hit me were 1) the butteriness of the pastry layers and 2) the savory richness of the generous chopped pistachio filling. The pistachio filling actually seemed more buttery and savory than it was sweet, which was so, so different than what I was used to. I never realized that baklava could be this light and “not too sweet,” but it was truly a revelation!

If we had more time, I would have loved to spend more time exploring the different neighborhoods and cafes and restaurants of the Asian side of Istanbul, or even just spending more time in Kadikoy itself. It seemed a bit more relaxed than the European side, though during the evenings, the area really did come to life with all the restaurant and bar activity. It almost felt as though there really was zero global pandemic.

Although it was sad to leave the beauty and seaside of Antalya, we still have the last part of our trip in store to further explore Istanbul. Late this morning, after one last festive and colorful Turkish breakfast overlooking the ocean, we boarded our flight to return back to Istanbul for three last days of food, culture, and sight-seeing.

After we arrived at our boutique hotel and got acquainted with our room, we went to a restaurant that was a short walking distance away from our hotel called Sehzade Cag Kebap. It was originally on my food list and was highly recommended as a long-standing popular restaurant with both tourists and locals alike. Cag kebabi is like the ancestor of doner. The meat, always lamb, is sliced a bit thicker than doner kebap, and it’s cooked horizontally on a big spit over hot charcoal. It is then cut and served on small skewers called cag. As I was watching the food preparation in their open kitchen, I noticed that after slicing off the spit and adding the meat to the cag skewers, another cook actually *further* grilled the meats over more charcoal, likely for a crisper finish. The meat was super juicy and succulent, packed with meaty, gamey flavor; it’s served with super thin lavash bread, raw sliced onions, ezme (spicy tomato and herb salad), along with thick and luscious buffalo yogurt. All these accompaniments were perfect with the meat; I would have been sad and felt as though something were missing if we hadn’t ordered one of these things (the bread and onions come with the kebap, but the salad and yogurt are a little extra).

The cag kebap originated in Erzurum, a city in eastern Turkey, and it’s been said it’s one of the original preparations for meat on a spit in Turkey. I was pretty obsessed. We were tempted to order more, but the amount of food we got was just right.

I also loved the service here. The cooks were all super friendly when I recorded them, and who I assume is the manager/owner was very friendly when he greeted us and got us seated, and when I asked to use the restroom. I love the hospitality here in Turkey.