A nanny who seemed promising on Mommy Bites spent a good 40 minutes on the phone with me the other day. I wasn’t quite sure if I liked her or not, but thought she was competent enough to at least do a trial with. She also had extensive baby nurse background with her training and previous work, which to me sounded like a huge plus. What we were finding with nannies we were talking to and trialing is that most are rusty or just totally out of practice with babies specifically. She had a few red flags, though: she asked way too many questions about paid vacation vs. unpaid time off given Chris and I do not have our families nearby. She complained about families who decided out of the blue that the mom wanted to stay at home full time, or families who switched to daycare after just 6-8 months of having her as a full-time nanny (what, families aren’t allowed to change their minds…?!). She said she only had one reference she wanted me to call (I always ask for three and call all three). I’ve asked all nanny candidates to show me a copy of their COVID-19 vaccination card, and all have complied… until this one. When she said she wasn’t comfortable sharing it other than in person, I asked if she could show me her Excelsior pass since she’s a stranger, and I have to protect my family. This was her response:

“Hi yvonne I understand that you’re asking me for the code if I’m not quite understand but it’s all sound the same thing as asking for me to send a copy of the card, like I said in my text last night we can meet in person then you can see the copy of my vaccination card until then I do not give out my vaccination card to anyone unless I’m being hired . We decide to move forward I can say it when we meet in person . I know that you said that all the babysitters have done that and some of them do not know the right in a America.”

If you want to lecture me about your rights in America over text, I not only do not want to employ you; I want nothing to do with you at all, period.

I was prepared to get rejected by a nanny at some point. I just didn’t think it would be this soon. This morning, as I was on another call screening another potential nanny candidate, Eroline, the nanny who rejected us, texted me. I was curious why she was texting, so after I got off the call, I looked at her message, which read like this:

“Good morning Yvonne i hope Kaya gum is feeling much better today. And all of you are in good health this wanderful morning. I forgot to tell you why i chose the other family they are willing to pay my tax. As it said in the Bible gives back to  Caesar . I wish you all the best my love. Agape ❤🙏”

So, while she originally told me over the phone that she chose the other family because she prayed to Jehovah, who pointed her in the direction of the other family, the REAL reason she chose the other family was that they were willing to compensate her the difference to ensure that her take home pay was higher than she originally asked to get paid. This is just what really religious people do: they use religion as an excuse for their actions when the real reason that motivates them is what motivates most human beings in a capitalist society: MONEY.

I don’t like to play games. I don’t enjoy bidding wars. If you want to get paid something, just say that’s your rate. If someone tells me her rate is $20/hour, I go with exactly that and pay her $20/hour. I’m not sitting there, noodling over whether I should proactively offer $21 or $22/hour to “win” her over. I hate that crap. I’m not a mind reader. Just be upfront about what you want! When did clear communication become so difficult?!

Today’s trial ended after an hour. I sent this trial nanny on her merry way home with a $20 bill.

We agreed to a full day trial from 10am to 8pm. I texted her to confirm all the details and debriefed all the expectations on a call. I asked her if she had any questions. She said she was good to go.

She arrived promptly at 10am and seemed very stiff. After giving her a tour of the apartment, she told me that she needs to leave by 6pm; if she were to stay until 8pm, we’d need to pay for her cab ride back home to Far Rockaway. “This area is dangerous, and a lot of bad things are happening with the train,” she said.

Ummmm, I told her that we agreed to have her stay until 8pm. She said it was fine originally. It clearly wasn’t, yet she didn’t want to tell me that over the phone. I was not paying for her cab ride home. And I did not appreciate her lack of communication.

Clearly Kaia was not a fan. She is always happy after her 10am feed, yet with this trial nanny, she cried endlessly until I took her from the woman. The trial nanny said my baby just doesn’t like her because she’s a stranger.

No, my baby does not get stranger danger. She’s way too young for that. She lets everyone hold her.

I told the trial nanny that clear communication was key, and that she definitely was not going to be a fit because of this, and that she should leave. She washed the bottle she fed Kaia with, used the bathroom, took my $20 bill, and left.

We’re already 0 for 2 now. This is going to be a very, very painful process.

“Babies sense when there are bad people around,” my friend said. “Kaia probably knew this nanny was bad.”

Probably. That’s a good baby.

After the first nanny trial did not go well, I told my friend, who I made plans to see downtown on Tuesday during our second trial, that I probably was not going to be able to meet her that far away. I needed to be closer and only run quick errands when the trials were happening in order to observe and make notes on what was good and bad.

One of the nannies is being a little annoying. I asked her if we could schedule a quick call to debrief on expectations for Saturday, when she is scheduled to come. She kept saying how busy she was between other interviews and said she’d try to call me when she was free. She texted late last night to ask if I was free; I was in bed, and there was no way I was getting out to talk to her. Is she constantly telling me about her other interviews as a way to prep me for a potential bidding war on her?

I’m NOT dealing with a bidding war on a nanny. There is no way I’m going to allow something like that to happen. The wage she asked for is what we are sticking with.