Annual Southern Hemisphere meetup with my Instagram friend

This evening, I went to Elwood, a suburb close to where Chris’s parents live, to have dinner at a Greek restaurant with a friend I made on Instagram during the pandemic. Since 2022, I’ve been meeting with her once a year in December when we come back down here. In 2022, we met at a cafe here in Brighton with our respective babies. In 2023, we met at a children’s museum so the kids could play while we caught up. And this year, we actually went out without the kids and just caught up one on one. She seemed really relieved when I suggested we just meet up 1:1 (which was at Chris’s suggestion). She’s had a slightly difficult year, and she was looking forward to the child-free time with me and some wine.

We’ve only ever seen each other three times, but we’ve had a lot of conversations through Instagram messenger over the years. We have a lot in common, as we originally found out about each other through each others’ food handles, and with a shared culture, plus the fact that she’s Melbourne based, it added to our commonalities. Once we ended up coincidentally having kids around the same time, I thought it might even be like fate that we were supposed to be friends in opposite hemispheres. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there are not only different definitions of “closeness,” but also different definitions of “comfort.” Even though I’ve only seen her in person three times, every time we’re together, it feels really comfortable, almost as though we can talk about anything and everything is just an open book. She opened up to me about her family problems, marital problems, debate about whether to have a second child. She talked to me about her own evolution in terms of her views on therapy, as she’s currently in therapy and had convinced her husband to do couples therapy, as well. I talked to her about my family dynamics, Ed’s struggles and suicide at her request, and we talked a lot about intergenerational trauma and how to heal and move on from it.

Sometimes, you can’t always have frequency of in-person meetups due to, well, geography and life. But I feel lucky to know I have one friend in Melbourne who has no connection to Chris I can meet up with and feel comfortable with when I come all the way here. It’s nice to have someone so far away that will make time for you and look forward to seeing you, even when you originally started as complete strangers. It’s a really nice kind of kinship that I am grateful for.

Koalas: one of the most useless animals on earth that I love

Ever since I was a kid, I have loved koalas. I am very stereotypical in my appreciation of animals in that I love cute animals: I love dogs, koalas, pandas, and kangaroos. I appreciate tigers, lions, leopards, and cheetahs, and I’d clearly be terrified if I ever came across one near me that was not in a cage, but I’d never say I love them. Marsupials are a particularly interesting type of animal to me, as someone who grew up in the Northern Hemisphere, because they have… POUCHES. How can that not be fascinating to a human being, who relies on things like jackets and pants to have pockets to store things?

Probably to the detriment of animals across the globe that we actually need and make a true difference, the entire world is not too much different from me in their appreciation, fascination, and love of cute and relatively useless animals: tens of millions of dollars are spent by people and governments to preserve and help grow the population of koalas and pandas, another cute, fat, and lazy animal that pretty much does nothing. While both are useless and do little to help the planet, we all cannot help but gush and giggle at their silly, clumsy movements and every chew of eucalyptus leaves (koalas) or bamboo (pandas).

So that was basically me when I got to see koalas again this trip, first at the Port Stephens Koala Sanctuary, then at the Blackbutt Reserve. We got to see koalas moving along branches, chewing endless gum leaves, and simply sleeping. And with koalas, because they are so slow moving, you really have to observe them for a while to really see any “action.” Koalas spend anywhere from 18-22 hours per day sleeping. They spend the remaining time awake eating, moving through trees and branches, grooming, or mating. It sounds so ridiculous, but to this day, I could probably spend several hours standing there, watching a single koala move around branch to branch, chew on gum leaves, and simply blink their eyes, and I’d be relatively satisfied as though I were watching a live theater show.

My general sentiment in a weak defense of myself is: I’m allowed to have a few indulgences, and well, this is one of them. Not every single thing I do and like has to be to help the world progress and be better. And I suppose my love of pandas and koalas is one of those things.

“Why are you going there?”

I have a number of Instagram followers who reside in Australia. Some of them actively comment on my Instagram stories, and others I’ve actually had some private conversations with via Instagram messenger. One of them lives in Sydney, and she asked how long I’d be in Australia and where I’d go. I told her that Chris’s family is in Melbourne, so we’d spend the majority of the time there, but we always do a side trip somewhere else domestically. This year, Chris chose Newcastle in New South Wales. Her response was, “Why are you going there? Usually people only go to Newcastle if they have family. International tourists (like me) don’t really go there.”

I appreciate her conversation, as I do anyone who is technically a stranger on social media who wants to have non-combative conversation or engage with me in a positive way. But I secretly kind of love it when people ask me the question “Why are you going there?” of any place we go. Other people tend to dislike it. But I actually relish it because it’s ultimately indicative of the fact that not all the places we choose to go to are “mainstream,” that they may be roads less taken and traveled to. Perhaps they are gems that only locals or those within a country or given area know about. It’s one huge perk (or what I think is a perk) of having married someone who is from another country with family still residing there: it’s an opportunity for me to immerse myself in that culture and see places that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have visited, or visited to the level of depth that I have.

Places that are on the most traveled-to lists, destinations like New York, Los Angeles, London, Paris, ALL OF ITALY — these are places that need no explanation when people choose to visit them. No one ever asks, “Why are you going to Paris?” because the cosmopolitan city speaks for itself in its name. But there are so many other places less traveled to that are incredible and have special things about them. Back in 2018, I got so many concerned responses, warning messages, and “Why are you going there?” questions from people when I shared we were going to Colombia. Now, Colombia is ON THE MAP. Americans are going there in hoards. It’s one of the “it” places to visit. Endless bachelor/bachelorette parties are happening there.

We spent the day exploring Port Stephens Koala Sanctuary, Nelson Bay, and Tea Gardens today. We indulged in a sumptuous seafood platter, complete with fresh creamy oysters and mussels that Kaia went nuts over. We saw some gorgeous views at Gan Gan Hill Lookout of the Tomaree Coastline. We also spent some time at the beach, where Kaia had endless giggles and threw a tantrum when we told her we had to leave. Who knows — one day when tourists have tired of Sydney, Melbourne, and Cairns when visiting Australia, Newcastle and the surrounds may be next on the map!

Hunter Valley wine region in New South Wales

The first time I came to Australia was in 2012, when I got exposed to the wine region of Mornington Peninsula here in the state of Victoria. In subsequent years, I’d had the privilege of visiting a number of other famous wine regions, including the Yarra Valley in Victoria, Barossa Valley, McLaren Vale, and Adelaide Hills in South Australia (where much of the world renowned Australian shirazes hail from), and the Margaret River region all the way in Western Australia. Most people who have been exposed to Australian wine outside of Australia are aware of the high quality Shiraz wines. But I’d say that taste wise, the Hunter Valley wines seem less known or understood. The reason for this is that the Hunter Valley has a dryer, hotter climate than other wine growing regions of Australia, which then allows the grapes to fully ripen on the vine, producing a much different flavor. The wines seem a tad sweeter here, and almost a bit brighter and more effervescent than the typical Shiraz you’d get in South Australia.

We visited a couple different smaller producers to have tastings, including De Iuliis Wines, Hunter Distillery, and Hanging Tree Wines. Some of the standouts included a surprising Shiraz from Tasmania, a brut (“champagne” but not from Champagne, France, obviously) made here and with local grapes, and a delicious lychee liqueur that literally tasted like fresh crushed, juiced lychees. The surprising thing about the shiraz wines here is that they feel much lighter and zestier than the ones we enjoyed in South Australia. The brut wines (sparkling wines) also had a fruitier, buzzier flavor than the champagnes or sparkling wines from elsewhere.

I’ve really loved the wines in Australia, and have been excited to do a wine tour across this country over the last 12 years. In wine shops in the U.S., we are seeing more and more of them as people abroad are discovering them. But the best ones are obviously here (and well, exported to China).

Flight to Newcastle, New South Wales

Yesterday evening, we took a flight from Melbourne to Newcastle, New South Wales. We’ll be spending the next four days here. Newcastle is a seaport in New South Wales. It’s the largest coal exporting harbor in the world. Also known as “Newy,” Newcastle is known for its harbor, beaches, and proximity to the famous Hunter Valley wine region. While here, we’re planning to see and taste the wine region, enjoy the beaches, and also experience the beautiful coastline. Also, we cannot forget the seafood!

While on our short flight over, we were served an in-flight meal. Even in economy class, flights in Australia always give you food to eat, and I tend to forget this since on U.S. carriers, I’m used to getting a simple beverage at most and some crappy packaged snack. Chris had pre-ordered a kids meal for Kaia, which included some sweet we wouldn’t let her eat, as well as strawberry-flavored milk. To date, Kaia had never had any flavored milk before. American flavored milk would likely be too sweet, so we always steered clear of those and kept her away from bottled juices as much as possible given excess sugar consumption. But this time, we let her try some of the strawberry milk. Though she seemed to like it, she didn’t actually want much of it and abandoned it. The flavor of the strawberry milk was nostalgic for Chris, though, so after he shared some with me, he proceeded to finish drinking the rest of it. I will admit: this strawberry milk was far less sweet than the equivalent back in the States, and it was actually pretty enjoyable.

When the flight attendant came around to pick up all our rubbish and food trays, he laughed when he saw that it wasn’t Kaia who was drinking the strawberry milk, but Chris! I’m sure he wondered whether Kaia’s parents had actually ordered the kids’ meal for Kaia… or whether they secretly ordered it for themselves to enjoy as closeted adult fans of flavored milk and kid treats. It was a pretty comical moment during our short flight up.

The other thing I always forget when I fly on non-U.S.-based carriers is how high the quality of service is versus U.S. carriers. On all the flights on Qantas on this trip, the flight attendants have been extremely accommodating, attentive, and kind, particularly to Kaia. It makes me wonder why U.S. airline staff always seems far more entitled than Australian airline staff just on delivering… customer service, which is exactly what their entire jobs are. If you can’t even do your basic job functions well, why are you even choosing that position?

A well-meaning and loving mum-in-law / Suma

I cannot count the number of horror stories I’ve heard from friends, colleagues, and in my different social media groups about people’s mothers-in-law. The common thing I always hear is that people generally always get better support from their own parents when they have kids versus their in-laws, who can, in some cases, even be oppressive. People have also just assumed this is the case with me, and I’m pretty quick to correct them. The sad thing is — I cannot relate to those sentiments. My in-laws are far more supportive with Kaia than my parents ever have been. When we’re in Melbourne, they’ve babysat for her a number of nights when we’ve gone out to be child-free. My mum-in-law does all our laundry, including Kaia’s. She helps with cleaning her up if she’s there when Kaia’s finished a meal. She pays careful attention (and I wouldn’t be surprised if she even took NOTES) to what we say Kaia likes and doesn’t like. She even thinks about things I don’t think about. During our first year here with Kaia as a baby in 2022, she bought baby/child-safe insect repellant for her since the mozzies can be quite aggressive down here. Back then, I was touched when she would roast and air fry vegetables for Kaia and prepare them almost exactly as I prepared them back home for her in New York; she carefully watched all the Instagram stories I posted about what I was making Kaia as a baby (my massive baby-led weaning feeding project) and did it all for her when we came.

This time on our first day, my mum-in-law baked mini banana muffins for Kaia modeled after the healthy snacks I’d occasionally bake her. She also asked her friend for her recipe for healthy oat-nut cookies that she’d bake her grandchildren, since she knew that Kaia loved having healthy cookies at home made by her mummy. When we arrived on our first day, she casually mentioned she had them in the cupboard and fridge for Kaia over our lunch. And I just felt floored that she’d go to this level of effort. She’d already made us this elaborate and delicious lunch to welcome us back, a low-sugar vanilla birthday cake for Kaia, and now she’s also made TWO additional healthy baked treats?!

I tell Chris this all the time, but I don’t think he or his brother appreciate his mother enough. She really does try so hard in so many ways. His mum has a really high level of empathy, and she’s always trying to do the right thing whether people appreciate it or not. The level of effort she exerts to cater to Kaia’s needs based on what she knows I want and prefer has been really touching; I was nearly moved to tears when she showed me the container of healthy, low-sugar oat cookies she made. They even had little chopped nuts and dried fruit in them. She’s been following all of my social media and trying to replicate what I do for Pookster while we’re staying at her home here in Melbourne. I could only wish my mom would go to even a fraction of the same effort, but instead, she would just insist her way is the best way and that I lack wisdom to know what is best for my own child.

Australian Kensington Pride (KP mangoes), lychees, and cherries

Today, we spent time in the suburbs of Springvale and Clayton, eating and snacking our way around. One of my favorite things to do in Springvale is to walk through Springvale Centre, where there are endless rows of fresh produce, almost all locally grown in Australia, and all the stuff I absolutely love: EXOTIC FRUIT. In previous years, we’d purchased jackfruit, but this year, it seemed like the big focus on the day we came was mangoes, lychees, and cherries. They had about four or five varieties of mangoes, including a green sour mango that is meant to be eaten crunchy. I was able to sample these, and while they were very satisfying and even slightly sweet, when I think of mangoes, I really want the juicy sweet ones. So I bargained for and purchased some Kensington Pride mangoes, Australian grown lychees, and cherries. The lychees were much different in appearance from the ones we’ve bought in New York Chinatown: the skins seem to be a paler, almost brighter pink. And the flesh of the lychee seems like a more vibrant white color. In addition, the texture of the lychee seems crunchier! These were exceptionally sweet, almost floral and candy-like in flavor. They were so addictive! Even though we’d purchased over a kilo, somehow we got through them so quickly!

We brought them home and shared them with Chris’s parents, and of course, Kaia got to indulge in them; she has totally loved lychees since her very first time eating them as a baby. This time, however, was Kaia’s first opportunity to navigate lychees and their pits. Previously, I’d always peeled and de-pitted them for her to enjoy. She’s been lazy with peeling, even though I know she’s certainly capable of doing it. So I relented and just gave the lychees to her peeled. She expertly navigated the pits, sometimes even instructing ME, step by step, on how to chew and spit out the pit, “Into the bowl, mummy!” I love these moments when I can witness my baby acting like a big girl, becoming a little more independent and savvy every day. It seems basic, to navigate a fruit pit. But hey, it must be learned, and when she masters something new, her mama is always proud.

The World Gourmet Awards – Shandong Mama wins!

On our first full day back in Melbourne, the three of us spent the afternoon wandering around Melbourne’s central business district (CBD), looking at all the fun and summery Christmas decor, and viewing the Christmas windows at Myer, which this year are Irwin Zoo themed, and luckily for us, had no queues for us to deal with. So we were able to see each of the window displays with ease. We also walked through Melbourne CBD’s Chinatown, and made an obligatory stop at Shandong Mama, my favorite Shandong-style dumpling shop I’ve been going to since 2013, when I first discovered them. When I first started going there, it was a relatively under the radar, small hole-in-the-wall in the Mid-City Arcade in Chinatown. Since then, I have read that local magazines and newspapers have written that Shandong Mama is all the rage with Melbourne (and Australia’s) top chefs, and it’s literally been featured on every single “Best Dumplings of Melbourne” list. The menu has expanded, as well as the prices…

We made a quick pit stop here for Shandong Mama’s famous Spanish mackerel and chive dumplings, which were just as pillowy, fluffy, moussey, and well seasoned with ginger and other spices as I can always remember. Every year we come back, and I am thrilled to see that their quality has not changed at all despite their increasing demand and success. And how exciting: they posted this huge sign of Shandong Mama, a retired former accountant from Shandong, posing at the World Gourmet Awards 2023, having won the 2023 Lifestyle Dining Award! I felt so happy for their success, as well as my undying loyalty to their deliciousness.

The regional cuisine of China is becoming more and more well known. People are recognizing how nuanced and different the flavors of China can be. And I’m happy I’ve been lucky to have been eating these dumplings for the last 11 years and supporting one of the eight regional Chinese cuisines that Melbourne is known for!

Flight cancellations, flight re-bookings, and a class downgrade

When you’re taking a long-haul flight from halfway across the world, one of the very last text notifications you want to read is that one of your flights has been cancelled. We flew on AA from JFK to LAX on Sunday, then had a long layover at LAX to get on our Qantas flight, originally from LAX to Melbourne. But due to a delayed incoming plane, our flight from LAX to MEL got cancelled. We got rebooked onto the next best option, which was to fly from LAX to Sydney, but obviously that would require a third leg (which I HATE) from SYD to MEL. I detest that flight for a few reasons: 1) it clearly prolongs the trip even more, which is especially annoying with a young child in tow, 2) it requires us to collect our checked luggage in Sydney since that’s our first point of entry into the country, then re-check the bag to Melbourne, 3) this also means leaving the secured area and going through security yet again, and 4) in Sydney, you actually have to take a bus connection from the international terminal to the domestic terminal, which is quite a trek. So if you have a tight connection, you could easily miss it.

So, we ended up taking a flight to Sydney, knowing we had to take a third flight to Melbourne. But we encountered even more issues we were alerted to once we got into the Sydney airspace: our flight had two sick passengers aboard, and upon landing, some medical professionals had to come on board to inspect them in case the passengers had any communicable diseases that would require quarantine. The original flight we were scheduled to be on from SYD to MEL already had a tight connection time of just 90 minutes, and so as soon as we landed, we got a notification that we had been rebooked onto a slightly later flight to Melbourne… and got booted out of business class and into economy due to all the seats being sold out in business class. Of course, Chris was not happy with this, so he immediately got in touch with the agents working at the front desk of the Qantas lounge and tried to change it. But since business class was sold out, we just had seats moved further forward in economy class.

While it was annoying to have a third leg to Melbourne and also get downgraded to economy class when we originally booked business all the way, it wasn’t that terrible in the end. Chris had booked all three of our flights on points, so when he contacted Qantas on what could be done refund-wise given the flight downgrade, they had a calculator on how to refund us… which ended up being the equivalent of almost an entire business class ticket from LAX to MEL. That’s pretty darn good!

The ease of movement across multiple airline lounges by a little near-3-year-old

I had never entered an airline lounge until circa 2011-2012 (so around ages 25-26), when I earned the lowest status on United Airlines (or Star Alliance, their airline network) and was given a handful of complimentary lounge passes, and when I started traveling with Chris, who had access to the Qantas lounges. When I first entered the United lounges in the U.S., I thought to myself, meh. I don’t think I am missing much. Sure, there I got access to free Wi-Fi and some mediocre snacks, as well as some slightly more comfortable chairs and couches for lounging, but it didn’t seem like that much of an upgrade. Plus, with American carriers, it didn’t matter what level of status you had with the airline because you still had to pay extra for lounge access, which is usually somewhere in the ballpark of $400-500/year. it seemed like a steep premium to pay for mediocre “benefits” like crappy pretzels.

Kaia has had access to airline lounges since her very first flight when she was just eight months old. Since then, she’s been in airline lounges literally around the world — in the U.S., Australia, Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. She doesn’t even know what life is like to not have access to an airline lounge. Today during our long layover at LAX to head to Melbourne, we moved between the Qantas First lounge and the Qantas Business lounge, which is considered more casual and more child friendly. The only reason we did this was that Kaia threw a loud, sobbing tantrum when I told her she couldn’t just steal everything off counters and throw objects everywhere. People always talk about the “terrible 2s,” but only current parents of littles talk about how much more terrifying the 3s period is… because that’s when young children have developed stronger opinions and preferences, as well as a larger vocabulary to voice said opinions. And well, Kaia is no different. In the last few weeks, she’s probably had some of the worst and loudest tantrums of her life to to date. As I was forcing her into her stroller to whisk her off to the business lounge while Chris had his shower, one of the Qantas lounge employees lightly suggested that she might want to play in the kids’ play area of the business lounge. I told them we were already on our way there, so off we went.

And typical Kaia: you tell her that a designated area is where she should be (as in, the kids’ play area), and she immediately does the opposite and wants to get the hell out and be free with all the adults, ASAP. Oddly enough, the business lounge had no kids other than Kaia today. So everywhere we went, she was the only little person wandering around and trying to overtake the place.

I don’t know how old Kaia will be when she realizes what a luxurious lifestyle she’s had, basically since birth. I wonder what it will be like when she’s slightly older and more verbal, and she tells her classmates about all these experiences and how foreign they will sound to her little peers. I can only hope she will be humble and not seem snobbish or conceited about it, and ultimately recognize how lucky and privileged she is.