The last time we came to Australia in December 2019, we had no idea that we wouldn’t be back for three years. In 2020, we couldn’t come back because of the global pandemic. Last year, we didn’t come back because Pookie was due in December, so this visit is really like Chris’s homecoming, plus a huge adventure for Kaia Pookie since it will be her second international flight, the longest flight she will ever have been on, plus, her first time visiting her fatherland.

After spending a day adjusting at home and in the neighborhood, Chris decided our first stop outside of Brighton would be Springvale, which I wasn’t going to complain about. We checked out HS Cakes, which he discovered via Instagram about two years ago, which is supposed to be famous for their durian cakes, filled generously with D24/Sultan variety durian imported directly from Malaysia. To do a taste test, we got two items from there – a set of durian cream puffs plus durian crepe rolls. We tried a puff each right outside the bakery, and WOW! The durian hits you immediately, both in smell and taste. And the creaminess of the cream with the thick hunks of durian was actually dreamy. I never call any food “dreamy,” so this was a BIG deal. Chris wants to get Kaia’s second birthday cake from here (his mum already planned to have her first birthday cake made by her friend – mango coconut), so we’re planning to get a durian cake for Saturday.

HS Cakes owner Judy, who was there when we came and we chatted with, was really friendly and told us about Bun Bun Bakery just a couple blocks away. It’s supposed to have Melbourne’s very best banh mi. Of course, we wasted NO time walking over there. We got two banh mis – one standard mixed ham roll, and one BBQ pork with sauce. Both totally blew our minds. The bread was insanely light and ethereal yet crunchy. All the fillings were packed with flavor, super fresh, and delicious; the mayonnaise and the pate were incredible and so, so rich. We also loved the BBQ pork banh mi particularly because they separated out the crackly pork skin from the tender and fatty pork belly, so you have a really great taste and texture contrast in most bites. These were probably some of the best, best banh mi we had ever had. I’d even say they were likely better than the other two banh mi spots we love in Melbourne. Even after sharing two sandwiches, we didn’t feel even remotely heavy and went on to have bun bo hue and a pork chop rice plate from yet another Vietnamese restaurant recommendation (Bun Bo Hue Chu Le) from Bun Bun Bakery. That bun bo hue was also phenomenal, with a rich, spicy and lemongrassy broth, but unfortunately because I was getting so full, I didn’t enjoy it as much.

And to top it all off, we purchased multiple mangoes (two varieties: R2E2 and Maha Chanok) plus 3.30kg of jackfruit from a market in Springvale! The fragrance of the jackfruit just beckoned, and when a seller asked me if i was interested, I just couldn’t resist and had to say yes.

It was an eventful day eating in the delicious neighborhood of Springvale in Melbourne.

We took an AA flight from JFK to LAX today and had a separate reservation with Qantas to fly from LAX to Melbourne. On the AA flight, even though we were seated in business class, the service certainly left something to be desired. The flight attendant who was tending to us confused my tea request and gave me coffee. When I told her it was coffee and not tea, she initially insisted it was tea. I insisted again, NO, it’s coffee, and almost told her to taste it until she said she’d take it back and have it replaced. Well, the tea I did end getting was crap, but what else is new on U.S. carriers? The screen and console were not working for me at my seat, so I was unable to take advantage of inflight entertainment. I asked this flight attendant to reset it. She didn’t, and had to eventually do it after I asked a third time. But when I asked her about it 90 minutes later, she said, “But I reset it 3 times.” Well, the screen looked exactly the same. She could see it herself. And she insisted there wasn’t anything else that could be done. Chris then harped on her to write me a note to get miles back as a compensation, which she reluctantly did. Then, when I asked for my dessert, it never came until I went up to them asking for it half an hour later. The same inattentive flight attendant who was too busy chatting with her colleagues said absentmindedly, “Oh, didn’t I already give you your dessert?” Well, no. That’s why I stood up and came over to ASK you to get it for me. It’s really shocking how even if you have the highest level of status and are seated in a premium cabin on American Airlines, the service can truly be hit or miss. It’s never a guarantee to be good.

On the flip side, I can honestly say that service on Qantas, even in economy and premium economy, has been superior to American. In flight from LAX to Melbourne on Friday in business class, the flight attendants were extremely attentive: they set up Kaia’s bassinet and buckled her into her infant seat belt (what is an infant seat belt on AA? I don’t believe that exists!). They offered her endless baby food without our even asking, which American NEVER has unless you specifically request it (and even when you request it, there’s NO guarantee it will ever be there; talk about being really stupid). They gave us a massive bucket of hot water to heat up one of Kaia’s breast milk bottles. They heated up the baby food, and one of the flight attendants even tested the temperature of the food on his wrist before giving it to me to serve Kaia (WOW! Talk about service!). They proactively gave me drinks and napkins even when I didn’t ask for them. They happily and eagerly gave me ice and refreshed it repeatedly to keep my breast milk safe and cold. They offered to hold my baby to give me a break for my arms. And if that all was not enough, one of them even offered, after I finished a pumping session in flight, to WASH MY PUMP PARTS FOR ME. I nearly passed out in shock and appreciation. Who WAS this guy, and can he please, please be cloned? I certainly would never ask anyone other than Chris or a previous night nurse/nanny to wash my pump parts, as they are literally covered in my breast milk/bodily fluid, but just the mere fact that he was so gracious and kind to offer to do something like that for me just spoke to his high level of empathy and service.

It was a great flight to Oz that went really smoothly; we even departed early and landed early. Kaia slept pretty well, and she ate well in flight, as well. And as per usual, all the food, drink, and even the little snacks were excellent. U.S. carriers could really learn about a dozen or more things to improve their quality of service to passengers, especially those with families and young children on board. But given the U.S. clearly doesn’t prioritize or give a shit about families and young children, I suppose the subpar service for families in flight on U.S. carriers is just a sad reflection on the state of affairs in the country overall.

Three years ago was the last time I was at LAX’s Tom Bradley Terminal, coming in and out to go to and come back from Melbourne. Three years ago, it was just Chris and me transiting through here, and now, it’s the two of us plus one. We’re now three. And so the experience here is different now. Chris dropped the baby and me off at the Qantas First lounge while he went to retrieve our checked bags from our AA flight and get them checked into our Qantas flight.

As soon as we got in, I had to change Kaia’s diaper, so I realized right away that all the individual, full bathrooms were not only spacious, but a couple include a baby changing station, which an attendant quickly directed me to. When I entered the room, I thought, WOW! How luxurious. Everything is white and spotless, with high end skincare products, and there is not only ample room to change the baby, but also shower, use the toilet, wash up, and even sit on a nice cushion and rest! Plus, the largest stroller would fit in this room with space to spare!

The second thing I thought about was how airy and spread out the space was. There are lots of couches, plenty of outlets, and lots of open areas to park a stroller comfortably. We set up at some couches, parked the stroller so Kaia could nap, and I plugged in my breast pump so that I would not have to worry about the battery during our 14-hour flight over to Melbourne, during which I will need to pump at least twice.

There’s a menu to order a la carte, so we chose a few appetizers, which included spicy fried calamari, caprese salad, and almond cake. I wanted to feed Kaia some fresh mozzarella, but she had already passed out before I thought to ask for a high chair.

I have missed this lounge experience. And it still feels welcoming with a baby in tow.

The great thing about having two trips nearly back to back is that even though you’re sad that the last trip has ended, you immediately have something fun to look forward to within just days. The bad thing about having two trips back to back is that it actually causes that much more stress to prepare, pack, and wrap up things you had to get done before you leave, especially when it’s end of year, and you’ll be away a long while. That includes things like… organizing everything in the apartment to ensure it’s all in the right place, doing laundry, cleaning out the refrigerator and pantry to ensure no bugs feast away while you’re gone, and nothing rots or goes bad; in our building, it means taking care of Christmas tips; with our nanny, it means making sure she gets paid and gets a nice Christmas card and gift from us. Oh, and don’t forget taking care of presents for people both here and wherever you are going. It’s a lot of stuff on top of managing things at work, and with a baby now, it’s even more tiring. It would be really nice to go away for an extended period of time and not have to worry about all these annoying obligations and “adult” things that need to get done while you are away.

I am still pumping three times a day. Even during this trip, I haven’t skipped a pump. I pumped at the Charlotte AA airport lounge, on the plane from Charlotte to Munich, at the hotel restaurant during breakfast, at the hotel lounge, and of course, in our hotel room. Yesterday night, I even pumped on the train from Salzburg back to Munich; I just wouldn’t wash my parts in the train bathroom because I knew it would be absolutely filthy.

The love/hate relationship I’ve had with pumping has been ongoing. It made me sad to wean down from 4 to 3 pumps per day, but at the same time, I felt more liberated and like I wasn’t totally chained to the breast pump anymore. It’s annoyed me to have every single meal at the hotel, whether it’s breakfast or dinner, with the pump connected to my nipples. I envy Chris being able to walk in and out of the restaurant without his nipples connected to anything, to feed Kaia food without being constrained by a nipple sucking device. But it’s a choice I made that I stand by and live with. It’s an inconvenience, an annoyance. But it’s given my baby fuel to grow and thrive. And that still makes me happy, even when she is now having significantly more solids and far less breast milk. And while I do not love to pump, I pump because I love. And I am still grateful to my Spectra pump for providing me technology to feed my baby when she was unable to breastfeed directly from my breast. I still pump because I love.

While exploring Salzburg today, Chris took us out into what felt like the countryside, where parts of Sound of Music were filmed, as well as where the fine dining establishment Restaurant Brunnauer is. It was a tucked away, white linen-cloth type restaurant with the choice of a fixed price lunch, which we opted for. I wasn’t sure how we’d do this with a baby with us, but they immediately accommodated us and offered Kaia a high chair when we asked. The servers all seemed fine, and we got put in a dining room with just one other couple. Kaia did quite well during the meal, mostly eating from our hands and fingers and being pretty happy and observant.

My irritation came, though, during the two times I took her to the bathroom to change her diaper. I had to bring the stroller into the bathroom so I’d have a safe place to keep her when washing my hands. A woman who I later figured out was the restaurant manager came in and gave me a disapproving look (those looks transcend language) and said there wasn’t enough room for a stroller in the bathroom. There was no changing table, so I had to change Kaia on the floor on top of a changing pad. I gave her a hard stare, said nothing, then continued changing Kaia. She left and came back when I was done changing and started obsessively cleaning every area she saw the changing pad and the stroller wheels touched. She was being passive aggressive and rude, but I chose to ignore her.

Later on towards the end of our meal, I knew Kaia had done a poop, so I brought her into the bathroom to change her again. And once again, the manager came in and this time, she said, this is a restaurant where many people will be using the bathroom, and having nappies in the rubbish bin would prove to be quite unpleasant for the other guests. She even told me she removed the used nappy that I had put in the bin earlier. Like I cared? I kept changing Kaia, and she just stood there and watched me change her. It was once again, passive aggressive and rude, but what else was I supposed to do? I had to change my baby, and there was no where else to do it. The manager asked if I had a place in my diaper bag to store the used nappy. I said no. She asked if I could take it outside. I just ignored her and didn’t say anything. Finally, she insisted she take the used diaper, and so I handed it to her without saying anything. Then, after putting my baby back in the stroller and washing my hands, she went through the same fruitless routine of trying to manually hand scrub every area she saw the stroller or the changing pad on.

Restaurant managers are supposed to make guests feel welcome. She made me feel extremely unwelcome, and it was clear she was not a fan of babies or families in her restaurant. Sure, we could have chosen not to dine there, but our baby was well behaved the entire time, and we gave the restaurant revenue. Shouldn’t she be grateful and hospitable and treat us well instead of being a passive aggressive, condescending twat?

The last three days, we’ve been exploring Munich and now Salzburg along with Kaia. It’s definitely a much different trip, all the way from packing and checking a bag (and now having it delayed) to how we start and end our days, to how quickly we go from place to place. Today, we annoyingly got told when we reached Mozart’s birthplace and home that while the site has been set up to accommodate wheelchair access, strollers are not permitted, and therefore, we either had to ditch the stroller or just not go in. The person at the front was very nonchalant about it: “I don’t make up the rules! This isn’t just for you; this is for anyone with a stroller!” Was it a huge loss to not see Mozart’s birthplace? No, but it was just a little frustrating since I did want to see it. Plus, why would you be happy to accommodate wheelchairs but not strollers…? Aren’t they basically the same thing — wheeled devices that get people around who cannot otherwise get around themselves…?

At all the Christmas markets we’ve ever been to, we’ve always seen lots of children and strollers, so I didn’t think it could be that big of a deal to bring our baby with us to these markets. Now, we just cannot stay as late since Kaia needs to eat, plus I still need to pump and space my three pumps out throughout the day. We’re still enjoying gluhwein and food, just a little earlier. We’ve also tried to avoid areas that get too cramped since accidents with mulled wine and babies could potentially get a little ugly and messy. And Kaia at her age now, well, she can’t quite appreciate things like the handmade German Christmas houses that I obsess over. She got a little feisty when I was trying to choose one, and Chris had to move her around in the stroller a bit.

I have been pleasantly surprised to see that most of the bathrooms we’ve been in accommodate babies and changing them quite well. I’d always heard that European countries in general were more accommodating of babies and children, but actually experiencing it has been quite heartening. There is oftentimes a dedicated room for changing stations, and even without a dedicated room, the changing table is quite large and ample, even complete with a fluffy pillowed pad that literally creates a cushiony experience for the baby while having her diaper changed. One changing station at a beer hall bathroom even had “white noise” like music for the baby that you could hear only if you were directly standing at the changing table. It was the sound of birds chirping and singing. That was a really cute touch.

I also noticed that in general, baby items just seemed a lot less expensive in Germany — everything from diapers, diaper wipes, and diaper cream to the food jars and pouches, which were all supposed to be organic, with no added sugar or salt. The pouches I got for Kaia were all around 70 to 99 Euro cents per 100-125g packet; when you see these in the U.S. according to a friend of mine who buys them for her toddler, they’re anywhere from $2.99-5 each. That’s quite a difference in cost! Chris says it’s likely because they are viewed as actual essential items in Europe, whereas in the U.S., literally everything has a markup once you say it’s for maternity or a baby. It just makes the U.S. seem even more unfriendly towards babies and families…. it’s a wonder why so many people still choose to procreate in the U.S. given the dismal treatment and circumstances for families.

It’s Tuesday, and I am still wearing the same clothes I wore to the airport on Sunday and going through Charlotte and then arriving in Munich. Kaia is also wearing the same onesie, as well. She only has one backup onesie outfit in her diaper bag, and that’s it. As the delayed checked bag was supposed to arrive in Munich today, we still have not heard anything from the airport or airline regarding where our bag is. All I know from the updates in my AA app is that the luggage has been tracked as having arrived at Munich airport this morning, and then after that, there’s no updates. What was I supposed to do?

At a minimum, given it’s late autumn, it’s not like my clothes are sweaty and smelly from hot weather, but I really did want clean underwear and socks. And my baby really does need other clothes to wear, especially since her solid feeds are so messy, even while out and about. So we went shopping today at H&M and Zara, and I immediately was reminded of exactly how much I hate shopping in store. Shopping online is so easy: it’s from the comfort of wherever I am in front of my computer. I can multitask while doing it. I can edit my cart and update over the course of a few days and change my mind. Sure, I can’t try on clothes, so there’s no guarantee it will fit properly or look right on my figure. But hey, that level of convenience is fine if the store has a good return policy (e.g. free online returns with pre-paid label or I can return in store to the location closest to me).

You would think I would have gotten excited to hear that I was able to buy new clothes and get them fully reimbursed by AA, but no, I just felt irritated that I still didn’t have my bag, and I had to waste time getting new clothes and trying them on. While everyone wants to look good in the clothes they wear, I am pretty utilitarian about my clothes: I want them to fit and be comfortable for whatever I am wearing them for, but outside of that, I have little to no attachment to any of them. That’s why in an ideal world, I would not own any clothes other than underwear/bras/socks/maybe hats/gloves, and literally everything else would be rented or borrowed on demand. How much more space would I have if my closets didn’t have all these annoying clothes in them! And for Kaia, it really wasn’t enjoyable finding things for her, either. Chris didn’t want to help pick anything out; he wanted to be out of there ASAP and hated the time spent there more than I did. H&M’s selection for babies as young as her, at least at the location we went to, was pretty terrible to nonexistent; most of their clothes were for 2+ years of age. Zara had a better selection, but still, no onesies and mostly favored older kids, not babies. I just felt impatient and wanted to get it done as soon as possible.

This is why I get annoyed when people make sexist generations and assume all women love shopping. My uncle, to this day, still assumes I love shopping and am faking it when I say I hate it. What is he basing his ridiculous assumption on… Nothing that is actually about ME!