New Year’s Eve spent packing too many things

I looked at all the stuff scattered on the bed, floor, and across multiple bags with a high level of anxiety today. I couldn’t believe how much stuff we were bringing back. Granted, everyone who gave Kaia a gift was very thoughtful and made sure to get her small things, ranging from clothes to smaller toys and books. But despite that, the volume really added up quite quickly. Her clothing and toys were spread across two checked bags, and along with all the snacks and alcohol Chris insisted on bringing back, it ended up being three checked bags, one backpack for each of us, one diaper bag, one pumping bag, one stroller to fold up, and one car seat. I had no idea how we would manage this, especially with a five-day stopover in Southern California (what visibility would he have, even with an SUV, with that many bags?). But looking at it all made my head hurt. It’s not like we have an entourage to help us cart all this stuff everywhere. I just had to hope and pray that nothing would get broken or lost, especially the bottles of liquor and wine we were taking back with us.

Lost items while traveling with baby

I have rarely lost anything while traveling. Okay, let me rephrase that: before I had a baby, I never lost anything while traveling. I prided myself on being organized and having everything together. And I knew once we had a child, we’d probably take a while to get into a groove of how we travel and get from point A to point B. And in the end, that’s resulted in a few lost things along the way.

Just on our way from Melbourne Airport to the car park to meet Chris’s dad on arrival in early December, Chris was pushing our trolley of luggage, in which my sweater/ open jacket was in the front pocket. Somehow, some way, that piece of clothing fell out, and was never to be seen again. We didn’t realize we lost it until the day after when I was looking for it. Chris tried to contact the airport lost and found, but to no avail. The most vexing thing about that was that I rarely care much about any of my clothes, but that specific piece I really loved because it was versatile, could be casual or dressy, and could transition easily from warm to cool weather. Plus, it was lightweight, not bulky at all, and had pockets. Ugh. I hope I can find a replacement for it at some point soon. I already checked the J. Crew website and they are out of stock. At least I got just over two years of use out of it.

While at Main Beach in Byron Bay, I got caught in a wave while holding Kaia, and we both went under water for about three seconds, during which my prescription sunglasses, which were on top of my head, got washed away. Well, I thought to myself, I may have lost my glasses, but most importantly, I didn’t let the ocean take my baby away!!!! It took Kaia a few minutes to calm down, and then as though nothing had happened, she babbled and played in the sand.

In a grocery store while pushing the baby in the stroller, Kaia threw her pacifier in some aisle when I wasn’t looking, and I never found it again. That was really annoying, mostly because Chris is the paci police and made me go down every single aisle and check the floor everywhere to try to retrieve it. That was a futile exercise that yielded nada.

We were eating at a restaurant with Chris’s parents and brother when the wait staff cleared the table… along with Kaia’s reusable silicone straw. I didn’t realize this happened, as I had to get Kaia to the bathroom to change a huge poop nappy, so I didn’t see this happen, and Chris and his family were just trying to get out of the table booth. At least we have about 6 or 7 of them back at home.

You can try to control everything… but at the end of the day, you just have to let some things go. Oherwise you will just go crazy.

Ozzie Mozzies’ aggression: you will not escape

A few nights ago, we were at Chris’s friend’s house and spent time in his backyard because they were setting up a surprise basketball ring for his son’s Christmas gift. His friend warned me about how aggressive the mosquitoes or “mozzies” get out there, so he insisted that I put on mosquito repellent. I did this, but regardless, the mosquitoes always get you in the few spots you miss. So I left with four very itchy and uncomfortable bites, including on my left little toe and right by my left elbow. The bite on my left elbow swelled up so big overnight that it was nearly the size of a golf ball when I woke up the next morning.

The next day, we went to Chris’s aunt/uncle’s home, where I barely spent 10 minutes in their garden in the early evening. His aunt was giving me a garden tour of all the trees, shrubs, and flowers they had spent the last three years growing. I was wearing pants, yet somehow… a mosquito was so aggressive that it bit me right in the center of my left butt cheek! How the heck did it get through my PANTS and bite my butt??

The weird thing is that pretty much everywhere we travel, I have always been a mosquito magnet, but in Australia, I’ve never once before gotten bitten by a mozzie before this trip. The Ozzie mozzies, according to Chris’s parents and relatives, have gotten quite aggressive this season, and everyone seems to try to stay away from them in areas where they wait and feast. This year, they lurk outside the doors of homes, and as soon as you open them, they immediately fly in! They don’t even buzz the way they do back in the U.S., so you cannot hear them. And when they’re in, they’re IN. As of today, I’ve probably already killed about 17 mozzies just in our bathroom!

Observations of food naming in Aus vs. US

Some interesting things I’ve picked up over the years shopping for produce and food in Australia vs. the U.S. in terms of what different food items are called:

Australia: capsicum; U.S.: bell peppers

Australia: rocket; U.S. arugula

Australia: coriander (well, most of the world); U.S.: cilantro

Australia: wombok; U.S.: Napa cabbage ** (I just learned this one during this trip!!)

Australia: (meat) mince; U.S.: ground (meat)

Australia: biscuits; U.S.: cookies

Australia: soft drink; U.S.: soda (apparently, the term “soda” is never used in Australia)

Australia: tomato sauce; U.S.: ketchup (what is ketchup in Australia…? :D)

Australia: silverbeet; U.S.: Swiss chard (new finding!)

Home alone in a big house that isn’t my own

When I was little, like most of us probably imagined, I thought I would eventually “grow up” and own my own home. I fantasized about how each room would have a different theme: one would be Chinese themed with Chinese calligraphy and landscape paintings; another would be Vietnamese with Vietnamese imagery; another would be beachy; one room would have a Moroccan theme (I just liked the Moroccan decor in restaurants). My dream house had large windows overlooking a beach, was two stories high with a staircase, and had at least one balcony on the second floor. And even back then, I imagined I’d have a massive kitchen. In my dreams then, it was a very white kitchen with large granite counters. I’d have a huge king size bed with a canopy over it. It would be dreamy and relaxing.

Well, I’m almost 37 now, and I don’t own a house. I don’t live in a house and live in an apartment. The idea of owning a house seems very daunting to me, not just from a cost standpoint but from a daily maintenance standpoint — cleaning, dusting, making sure everything’s working and not broken, updates and renovations, repairs — it sounds completely exhausting. But the other thing I think about is: how much space does a family of three (us) REALLY need? In the U.S. over the last several decades, homes (in suburbia) have gotten larger and larger, but the actual footprint of where family members go in their homes is actually quite small. What that results in is a lot of wasted space (and way too much clutter that gets accumulated since the more space you have, the more you think you need to fill it).

I thought about this as I walked around Chris’s parents’ large house this evening, all by myself. Ben was out with friends. I don’t think I’d ever been at their house alone at night before. Chris’s parents went out for dinner with their friends. Chris and Kaia went to a relatives’ house for a catch up, and I decided to stay behind because I just felt exhausted and wanted some quiet, alone time. In some rooms, I heard an echo as I walked through. It felt a little spooky to be in this huge house with so many rooms and things all by myself. Is this house old enough to have ghosts? What bugs are lurking around trying to get me? Oh, I did kill a huge fly that was buzzing around and driving me nuts that evening, plus 2 mozzies. It would be really overwhelming to have to manage and maintain a house of this size for myself and my own family. The space and the comfort of the space certainly come at a cost.

Mexican food in Melbourne

In all previous trips to Australia, we had actively avoided eating any Mexican food. The logic was: why would we eat Mexican food here when we can have great Mexican food (for obvious reasons, like proximity to Mexico) back in the U.S.? But in recent years, there’s been a huge surge in Mexican restaurants in Australia. Each time we’d come back, I’d notice more and more. I never seriously looked at the menus, but it was clear that the interest and trend were growing here.

Chris’s cousins organized a cousins dinner nearby for us, as they were being considerate and thoughtful that we had a baby, so they wanted to pick a restaurant that would be a quick drive back in case Kaia got too fussy with Chris’s parents on their own with her. I knew it was Mexican and didn’t really think much of it until we got to the restaurant. It was certainly outfitted the way you’d stereotypically imagine, with sombreros, brightly colored paintings, and cactus everywhere. When I opened the menu, I thought… oh great. There’s lots of things I’d expect on the menu, so I stuck with what seemed safe — two tacos, shrimp and fish, plus a nonalcoholic coconut/lime/pineapple drink.

Chris got jackfruit tacos, so we sort of shared our food. The tacos were absolutely horrendous – at least, the jackfruit ones were. They were mushy, the sauce was disgusting, and they were clearly canned jackfruit pieces. The shrimp and fish ones were decent, but considering how much they cost, I feel l like I could have made better Mexican food as a child than this. And the service was even worse than the food: they took our orders but warned us that the kitchen AND the bar were closing in the next 15 minutes (at 8pm?! We had just arrived at around 7:15!), so we had to make up our mind on regular food, drink, AND desserts then and there. The food took ages to arrive, and they arrived with our drinks and jugs of water. We had nothing to drink, not even basic water, until all the food arrived. I couldn’t even remember experiencing service so awful at a restaurant until that evening.

I normally never say anything about restaurants when it comes to Chris’s family’s gatherings because the main focus is not really the food — it’s about all of us getting together and catching up. Plus, I’m not technically a cousin, so why should my opinion overrule anyone? But after that experience… the next time someone tries to suggest Mexican here, I’m definitely going to have to chime in and veto it.

Neighborhood exploration in Melbourne

Most afternoons during our stays in Melbourne, we’ve still been exploring different neighborhoods this time around, just with the baby with us. While it is always enjoyable to see family and friends here, it’s also fun to be able to revisit old favorites, like Lamb on Chapel and Shandong Mama, and also try new restaurants and bakeries that have opened. It’s basically like an extension of what we do in New York — seeing new and different neighborhoods and trying new cuisines and restaurants. Most people don’t really know their own backyards, and so we actively try to do the opposite and know where we are traveling to as well as our own home base.

We’ve been telling Chris’s parents about all these new places we have visited, and they have laughed a bit, saying this is their own home but they haven’t been to these areas much. The ironic thing there is that they are quite adventurous and have literally spent their lives traveling the world, seeing new places, eating new foods, diving into totally different cultures. But when it comes to their own home base, they don’t really see much of it and say they don’t have much time to do it. In that sense, they’re not that different to the average person who doesn’t go outside of their own neighborhood or surrounding neighborhoods. But when we do bring the foods back home for them to try, maybe that will entice them to go back?

Family / baby friendly environment in Australia

At most places we have visited across three states, I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by the number of family friendly bathrooms that have been available. In Byron Bay and in Gold Coast, there have been family bathrooms where there was not just one changing station, but three or four; where the place where you would lay your baby to change their diaper even had cushions underneath to ensure their comfort. Some had big rollers to roll out paper towels to keep the area clean. Others had nappie/diaper-specific rubbish bins to toss soiled diapers. A few even had convenient pockets and pouches to place your diaper/wipes/diaper balm. One even had wipes (I wasn’t sure what they were made out of and whose hands had touched them, so I refrained from even looking at them to seriously consider using). Lots of stores even had ramps where you could easily roll a wheelchair or stroller. It kind of made me annoyed to think about exactly how unfriendly it is pretty much everywhere in the U.S. where we’ve gone. Granted, the diaper changing stage only lasts for a few years for kids, but still; no parent or caregiver wants to feel like they are unwelcome in a place simply because they have their diaper-wearing child with them.

Eating out with baby

Like most new, first-time moms who breastfeed, whether nursing or pumping, with our near-sightedness, we think that life will get easier when babies are less reliant on breast milk and start eating solid foods. What we seem to forget is that eating solids is a TASK; teaching your child to eat regular food, and eat it independently, literally takes years and years of work. And that work requires an insane amount of patience. And when they are in public or in the presence of others outside of their home environment, the amount of energy and time it takes increases exponentially because they are easily distracted and want to know everything that’s going on around them. That also means… YOUR eating as a parent/caregiver takes the backseat. So it’s no wonder why most of the time now, when I am watching her eat or feeding her in public, I end up eating most of my own food nearly cold. I also don’t get to savor and enjoy my food as much. But hey, everything has its time, its beginning and its end, and so this will just be a phase…. one that will take time. It is definitely a test to my patience, though, and can be wearing, especially since when I eat, it’s because I really like to eat, not because I’m simply eating for sustenance. But this is an investment of my time into my baby’s growth and character, and so I hope this all pays off eventually.

Blowout all over me, the car, and in the trunk in Gold Coast

Yesterday, on our first full day in the Gold Coast, Chris wanted us to go up to the mountains for a mini hike. That plan got dampened a bit, literally, when it started raining. And before that, it got dampened because Kaia was being especially fussy. I initially thought it was just teething because I already see two more teeth popping out on the top, plus she had been drooling a lot that morning. But after a while in the car seat in the car, I noticed she started straining. I figured she had a big poop to get out, but even after she finished straining, she started yelping even more than she normally does when fussing. So I did the unsafe caregiver task of taking her out of her car seat in a moving car and trying to soothe her. That worked for about five minutes, after which she started fussing even louder. And that was when the real excitement began: the unmistakable stench of human poop overtook our noses. And it got stronger and stronger… until I realized that the poop was so large that it had spilled out of her diaper, into her clothes, and then onto MY lap, and even all over the rental car seat belt!

Chris eventually found a safe spot to stop the car, which happened to be right next to a hotel, and he quickly got out, helped me clean up what parts he could on me and the car before making a bigger poop mess, and I got her cleaned up as much as I could in the trunk of the car, changing her diaper, giving her a new backup outfit, and cleaning my pants up as much as I could. In the process, we smeared poop in the trunk, which also had to be cleaned up, and I also got poop all over my shirt. And NO, I did NOT pack a backup outfit for MYSELF. They always say that when traveling with a baby, caregivers should always also pack a backup outfit for themselves for these exact reasons (or vomit), but… I didn’t, and I never had before. And this was the one time it could have come in handy.

So after doing a mediocre job cleaning up myself, I took Kaia in her stroller and myself into the hotel bathroom to clean up. I used an ungodly amount of wet paper towels and soap to clean her dress, my shirt, and pants as much as I could. I left that bathroom looking like I wet my own pants. But I had to do it, otherwise I would literally have been walking around in poop all day long. And it worked out.

Yes, it was a mess. Yes, it was unpleasant. But at the same time, it was also an adventure and a lesson to be learned. Always pack backup clothes for you and baby. You can never have enough backup wipes or hand sanitizer. and always pack a bag to store wet (dirty, poopy) clothes.