Shopping is not really something I do much anymore in person. If I have to buy something, I usually will just go online, try to find the best deal, do a few clicks, and have something delivered to me. Being in malls while traveling is something I also avoid. Part of it is because I don’t necessarily travel solely to buy things, and the other part is that Chris absolutely detests malls. But when I found out our hotel was literally right next door to the famous Lulu International Shopping Mall, I figured we might as well go check it out, and if for nothing else, then most definitely the FOOD COURT. Food courts in the U.S. absolutely bore me, but internationally, I always find them interesting, similar to how I like going to local markets and supermarkets. It’s fun to see what people like to eat in other places.

Lulu Mall covers over 17 acres, so it’s not only one of the largest malls in all of India, but it’s also the number 1 tourist attraction for Kochi the city on TripAdvisor apparently. Inside, there is a massive arcade and entertainment center, as well as a bowling alley. The “hypermarket” on the main floor was a total zoo, but had every single grocery and kitchen item imaginable there. When we got to the food court, my jaw almost dropped: it was like an Indian foodie’s dream: almost everything I could possibly want to eat that is Indian food was there. All the usual northern Indian dishes were represented, but the southern Indian food representation was INSANE. Endless dals, curries, appams, dosas, idlis, Kerala fish fry, Kerala beef fry — you name it, and it was in that freaking food court. And then, what REALLY got me excited: THERE WERE ENDLESS Indian Chinese food options!!!!!

In New York, we have Tangra Masala to satiate our Indian Chinese food cravings. It is still, to this day, one of my top 5 most loved restaurants in New York, if not the world. When Chris ordered some chili noodles today from a stall at the food court, it was so, so addictive: it had that nice wok fry flavor, Chinese seasonings, with Indian spices and heat. It was so, so good. While Kaia can handle a decent amount of heat for her age, these noodles were clearly spicy for her; she kept going back for more water, and as she ate more noodles, she kept slurping, indicating the heat was getting to her, but kept going back for more, in between bites of her mutton biryani.

In addition to these stalls, we also got excited at a juice stall, where Chris picked up freshly blended kiwi juice; a FALOODA Nation stall (OMG OMG, falooda!!!! LOVE); and an ice cream stand that just had different fruit flavors, even jackfruit and alphonso mango, of kulfi. I could have honestly spent the whole week just eating at that mall and have been totally satisfied.

Kerala, the mother and fatherland of Chris, literally means “land of coconuts.” “Kerala” comes from two words: “kera” meaning coconuts, and “alam” meaning “land.” And it’s no wonder that Kerala is named what it’s named because literally everywhere you look and turn, there are coconut trees everywhere. It’s kind of like being in Hawaii: even if you were poor and homeless, if you had the ability to climb a tree, you’d have food.

Today, we took an all-day tour to Allepey to ride on a private boat along the backwaters of Kerala. Allepey is not only the place where Chris’s nana was born, but it’s also a popular destination for backwater boat rides and stays in Kerala. In India, Kerala is not only known for having the highest literacy rate, but it’s also known for being a popular domestic honeymoon destination. One of the things I looked forward to most here was being able to finally try the ever elusive “toddy,” a sweet, naturally fermented drink that is produced from the sap of coconut trees in the state. When first tapped from a coconut tree, the toddy is already a bit fermented, but after a few hours, and then a few days, the strength of the alcohol gets higher and higher. Our guide had us stop at a toddy shop along the water, and we hopped off for a glass of toddy each.

We each ordered a glass of toddy, tapped fresh this morning, and it was certainly a unique flavor: slightly sweet, almost rice-like in flavor, with an interesting light effervescence that is quite similar to that of kombucha. The closest thing I could compare it to that we’d had previously on our travel was makgeolii, the raw rice wine we drank from a local drinking spot in Busan, Korea. After having tasted this, I could already imagine how much more delicious appams could be if made with fresh toddy. Appams were something I didn’t know about before Chris. When I met his family, his mom made some appams from a mix (by the way, I usually hate on boxed mixes, but seriously, India takes “mixes” to a whole other level — the quality is high, and there’s never any preservatives in these things! HOW DO THEY DO THIS??!), but I was hooked and knew I had to try making it myself. While they are still tasty using mixes and/or yeast, the flavor of course would not be the same as when made authentically with fresh toddy. Unfortunately, from what Chris’s mom shared, as well as our guide, fresh appams made with fresh toddy is almost like a relic of the past; people just don’t make it this way anymore, and if they do, it’s only for very special occasions like Easter dinner.

The cute part of our visit to the toddy shop was when Pookster saw us both drinking the toddy and thought it was milk. She started reaching for it, and when we wouldn’t give to to her, she had a bit of a melt down. Having her alongside us on this trip has definitely made this India visit completely different (and in some ways, more exciting and more of an adventure) than back in June-July 2018 when we first went as a family of two. It’s been exhausting, but I keep telling myself that all these moments will pass us, so we have to enjoy her at every stage for what and who she is. And it’s moments like this, when she confuses toddy for milk, when I really smile and think, wow, it feels so good to be here with her and know that she’s our sweet, rambunctious baby.

Once upon a time, I had no idea airport lounges even existed. I thought everyone lugged themselves into airports and sat either at the food court or the gate, waiting for their flight to take off. Then, I got access to the United lounge in LA, and I thought it was pretty underwhelming. Other than getting access to the lounge Wi-Fi, having outlets, and maybe some of their subpar trail and nut mixes and snacks, I didn’t understand why anyone would pay to get access to the United lounge (eww). But what finally did me in was when Chris first took me into the British Airways lounge at JFK on my first flight headed to Australia, and I was sold: a huge fountain awaited me as I entered, and the food and drink was ridiculous. It was like being in a true “lounge” where you had access to endless food, booze, and comfort.

I have since been in a number of incredible lounges run by Qantas, Japan Airlines, and Cathay Pacific. But nothing could really prepare me for the vastness that was the Al Mourjan Business Lounge (South) at Hamad International Airport during our layover in Doha en route to Kochi. First, there was a north side AND a south side lounge. Second, the space was just endless: a smoking/cigar room; a massive business center; a children’s playroom with huge bouncy castles and endless toys; multiple dedicated baby changing rooms that were HUGE and pristine, cleaned after each use – they even supply diapers, diaper cream, baby lotion, and wipes on request; a family center where you could spend time with your family and not worry about making other people mad due to children’s noise; quiet rooms that can be reserved for up to six hours at a time, essentially mini hotel rooms, to sleep in total silence and privacy; full bathrooms and showers that can be booked and will be cleaned before and after each use. And as for food options, there is also full-service dining and a buffet, multiple baristas for freshly made coffee beverages; a made-to-order sushi and sandwich counter, and endless rotating desserts, both western and Middle Eastern style.

And that still doesn’t cover everything if you can believe it! Right now, a Dior spa is in construction for the north side lounge, and a gym is also in progress so that you can fit in a workout ahead of your flight. There’s also a pay-per-item Louis Vuitton restaurant inside the north lounge. A number of different seats, couches, and lounge arrangements were everywhere. Kaia really loved all the different water fixtures, especially the fountain that had jumping water. She also loved that she could run around freely on a wide, open floor plan.

I think what really stood out to me was how family friendly the entire place was. Here, you’d never have to worry about your children being taken care of and not having them seen as a nuisance or annoyance. Here, children are accepted as part of the overall energy and life of the lounge; they aren’t inconveniences. There are endless places to change your baby’s diapers and ensure your own comfort as a parent. People even go out of their way to ask if your baby is comfortable or needs anything else. In fact, on the Qatar flights, Kaia always was treated like a VIP passenger; the flight attendants always asked if I needed anything additional, whether it was food or drink or blankets or bottles, for her. Kaia even got a diaper/change kit that was reusable with Qatar Airways’ branding. Qatar always has baby food (pouches) on all flights, unlike on American Airlines, where you have to specifically request baby food, and then follow up a number of times to ensure that it even got onto your plane. Honestly, that AA experience was just laughable in comparison, especially given then, we also flew business class and they wanted to starve my baby. If only the U.S. could be a bit more like this was.

For our trip to South Asia, Chris booked us business class tickets on Qatar Airways, which means we would get to experience Qsuites on our outbound flight from JFK to Doha. Qsuite is oftentimes talked about as the “world’s best business class” experience. You essentially get your own small suite with a full lie-flat bed, ambient mood lighting, generous storage space, plus a sliding door to close for full privacy during the flight. You get a nice, quilted mattress, a plush and thick royal purple duvet cover, and as the bonus I wasn’t thinking about at all – an exclusive Diptyque amenity kit. I’ll be honest: every time I went to the bathroom in flight, not only did I get excited about having a WINDOW in the huge bathroom, but I also enjoyed misting my face and neck with the Diptyque rose facial mist spray. It had just the right amount of floral, rosy scent without making me smell like a granny.

And as one would expect flying on a Middle East airline, the service was excellent – very attentive, and maybe even more so given we were flying with our toddler. Kaia got lots of attention – as much milk and cereal as she wanted, as well as some little plush toys (sadly, she’s still not really into any stuffed animal, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). The food was also incredible – it was the very first flight where I’d seen LOBSTER as an option for a main course. I was also obsessed with the karak chai, which you could either get with saffron or cardamom. And I even had a mini afternoon tea spread for breakfast that came with delicious finger sandwiches, scones, jam and clotted cream, plus cute petit fours.

And in preparation for fully enjoying the Qsuite, Chris got what he called “a very important” purchase: a tiny bottle of melatonin drops for Pookster — to “help her sleep and adjust.” A lot of parenting groups talk about this for toddlers to use in flight, plus to help with jet lag.

“What – I want to enjoy my Qsuite experience! I’m paying for it!” Chris insisted when I wrinkled my brow at him when he showed the dropper bottle to me.

Over the last 11 years, Chris and I have visited pretty much all the U.S. presidential libraries and museums, as well as civil rights museums, historical monuments, sites, buildings, tombs, and cemeteries. While I am sure it is a huge generalization to say this, what I’ve noticed about the conversations I overhear while at all of these sites is that the vast majority of the people visiting tend to be more on the progressive side. Parents bring their kids here to teach them history; adults come to learn more about their own country, or the history that perhaps, they were not fully taught in school (self included). They recognize the connection of the past to our present and future, and they have conversations about this while visiting.

This long weekend, we visited Mount Vernon, which is George Washington’s home and mansion, as well as Fort McHenry, a U.S. historical site known as the birthplace and inspiration of the U.S. national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” I wasn’t sure how open Mount Vernon would be in terms of addressing all of George Washington’s hundreds of slaves I knew he had, but amazingly, they actually did address it, and quite openly and often. While many would argue that the way they address it is a bite muted, the fact that they repeatedly mentioned the “enslaved labor” or “enslaved people,” and that they had huge sections of the estate calling out the enslaved people’s living quarters, conditions, and work, shows that they’re not trying to cover up the past.

At one point while walking around the grounds, I came across some young children, likely walking along side their parents after visiting the female slave houses. The kids were asking their parents why the former president of the U.S. would have kept slaves and asking if Washington knew it was “wrong.” The parents were trying to explain it in the context of history, while also acknowledging how wrong it was. They even tried to connect the wrongness of Washington having slave labor to the persistent racism that goes on today. While I’m not sure those very young minds could fully grasp the gravity of what their parents were saying, I silently commended the parents for not only explaining the past so neatly, but also attempting to connect it to the present day for the kids to try to understand. There is very little possibility that those parents are advocating for all these stupid book bans that are an embarrassment of the U.S. today.

And then I thought: I suppose those types of conversations will be had by us when Pookster eventually learns different things, understands more, and asks us questions. And we’ll need to find ways to neatly package all this information without white-washing the truth and fully educating her.

One of our very favorite things to do when we visit a new place is to visit their local market. Some places call them farmers markets. In Asia, they’re known as “wet markets.” But regardless, we just love markets. It’s a great place to get a pulse of of a city or town, to see a mix of locals and tourists, and get a sense of what people like to eat, drink, and buy.

Although New York City is known for its Union Square Greenmarket, over the years, I’ve honestly gotten a bit bored of it. When I used to work nearby, I’d browse the market at least a day or two a week during my lunch break, but I didn’t really buy very much. As Chris has pointed out (and as I have begrudgingly admitted is actually true), most of the vendors seem to be selling the exact same thing, just one stall after another, and perhaps with prices varying by a quarter or two. There are a handful of unique stalls that sell specific Asian vegetables, and I do enjoy both of the main bakery stalls (Bread Alone is my standby), but overall, it doesn’t have much diversity. On top of that, most of the meat and seafood products are just so exorbitantly expensive that at the rates they are charging, you might as well just order that same cut at a restaurant because at least then, you won’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning up.

Some of our favorite farmers markets we’ve visited in the U.S. have been in places I wouldn’t immediately think of, but were extremely memorable: Omaha, Nebraska, and Santa Fe, New Mexico, really stand out. I always loved Pike Place Market in Seattle, which is quite famous. But now, we can add Baltimore, Maryland, to that list. I wasn’t sure what to expect of the Sunday farmers market here, but I was obsessed!

Baltimore’s farmers market had such a variety of produce and goods being sold that it was a struggle to keep up with all of them. They had endless locally grown, fresh produce, many bakery stands serving a wide variety of baked goods, both sweet and savory; kombucha, kimchi, brisket and pulled pork barbecue, barbecue OYSTERS, crab pies; and even a frozen dumpling stand. I was blown away when I saw all the beautiful mushrooms at The Mushroom Stand (yes, aptly named), as well as the relatively reasonable prices. I ended up picking up a pint each of the maitake (hen of the woods) and the lion’s mane, the latter of which I’ve never seen at any market anywhere and had only read about in food magazines. I LOVE mushrooms so much, but the special varieties are hard to come by, and when you do see them, they are usually so pricey. I bought two fat bunches of garlic scapes for just $5 (what steal, especially to what the farmers market stands charge in New York City for these babies!). We also got freshly made, cold brewed coffee, a slice of cherry and peach olive oil cake, mini caneles (which I even indulged Pookster with), an egg custard tart, a spinach ricotta flaky pastry, a ginger cardamom lemonade that was extremely refreshing and sweetly spicy; mini frozen hot chili wontons and lamb and chive dumplings; and even a pint of fat, sweet-tart blueberries for Pookster. Chris’s parents joked and said we may have bought the whole market! If we lived closer, I definitely would have bought more fresh produce, but alas, we do not. It was such a fun experience, and we were lucky to be in Baltimore on a Sunday to get to enjoy it.

While Chris’s parents are in town, Chris wanted to do a side trip with them somewhere like we did last year via car, so we went to Baltimore this long weekend. Although Maryland isn’t that far away from New York City, the last time I was there was in 2011, when we went to Ocean City for Thanksgiving weekend. When I think of Maryland, I immediately think (of course) of the famous Maryland blue crabs, amongst other local and delicious seafood such as oysters and fish. But when I think of Baltimore, stereotypically, the other things that come to mind are the fact that Baltimore, also known as B’More or “Charm City,” is also unfortunately always featured as one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S. It is usually in the top five when it comes to violent crime as well as property crime. In addition, from what I’ve heard from friends and colleagues who either have lived or are living there, it’s a city that is deeply segregated by race; there are very clear “White” neighborhoods vs. “Black” neighborhoods. The other thing about it is that in some ways, driving and walking through parts of the city today certainly felt a bit like Detroit: you could have a really nice hotel right next door to a dilapidated, totally abandoned building with its windows fully blown out and the doors boarded up. That seemed to be quite the norm walking from street to street in the downtown area where we are staying.

The city clearly wants to attract more tourism, though. While walking in the tourist area right by the waterfront, we went into a huge new building that served as Baltimore’s visitors center. Inside, they had a lot of tourism information (obviously), as well as many interesting artifacts, displays, maps, photos, as well as free Wi-Fi and very clean restrooms. I’d never seen such a well done, modern, and clean visitors center in the U.S. like this one before.

The same area also had a lot of fun play structures and areas for young children. Most were for kids slightly older than Kaia, but she did get to enjoy Federal Hill and the swings up there. While up on the hill, a huge mosaic of the Aurora Borealis caught our attention, which was covering the American Visionary Art Museum facade: the mosaic features over 2,300 square feet of recycled bottles, glass, and mirrors, and was created with the help of incarcerated Baltimorean youth.

The other highlight of the day was definitely our first meal in Baltimore, which we ate at Nick’s Fish House. Given how popular this restaurant appeared on Google Reviews (5,700+ reviews at 4.5 stars), I wasn’t sure if we’d even get a table and might get turned away given we’re a party of five with no reservation. I got especially nervous when Chris went to park the car and we got in line to check in with the hostess, who I heard turned away the party of 4 ahead of us and said there was no table available for a party of their size for at least an hour. When we got to the front, the hostess got really oogly eyed when she saw Kaia… and somehow, out of nowhere, a prime table overlooking the water (that she apparently overlooked with the party ahead of us…) was available on her table diagram, and we were immediately seated! We really scored with this one, and I wonder if we can attribute it to Pookster’s cuteness!

So the last time (or really, only time) I’d had memorable, delicious crab cakes with lots of crab and little to no filler was when we were in Ocean City, Maryland, in 2011. And today, I was reminded of how good (and relatively inexpensive) they were because today, we had what is likely the next best crab cakes to the Ocean City ones: we got two fat Maryland blue crab cakes, and they were just STUFFED with crab and almost no filler at all! I couldn’t believe how meaty and juicy each piece was, and it was so, so fresh. The crab meat was flavorful and sweet. Kaia only had maybe two pieces of crab and preferred her mac and cheese, but I intentionally left two bite sized pieces of crab cakes until the very end of my meal so that I could properly savor them. These crab cakes were not cheap, but they were most definitely worth it. In addition, the fish and chips were done perfectly: the fish was done just enough to be flaky, juicy, and moist, and the outside was fried well — crunchy and not greasy. This place was incredible!

It doesn’t seem to matter whether I put thick layers of SPF 50 or a wide brimmed hat onto my baby: she always seems to tan so easily. Chris insists that she has inherited his melanin (even though she’s nowhere as dark as he is), and so she doesn’t need as much sunblock application as I like to put on. The thing is: even when you put on SPF 50, you are never 100% protected from the sun. An SPF that high protects you from about 97% of UV rays on average, so the sun is still penetrating the other 3%. Plus, the only real way to be protected from the sun is to be covered up with clothes, sunglasses, a hat, or to stay out of the sun completely. Just because you aren’t getting sunburnt does not mean that you are not getting any sun damage.

I want to make sure Pookster understands and practices safe sun exposure as early as possible. I don’t want her to think that tanning is a healthy practice, and I especially do not want her to think that she’s invincible from getting sunburned just because of her skin color. Clouds are not a protection from the sun! People still get tanned and burned on cloudy days! Covering up and applying sunscreen liberally are your best bets to keep sun burns and premature wrinkles and skin damage (and eventually, sun spots and freckles) away! No one ever educated me on this when I was little. I learned all of this on my own — oddly, through magazines like Teen and Seventeen when I was 11.

I was lazy about wearing a wide-brimmed hat up until very, very recently. I’ve always hated wearing a hat in the summer because my head sweats, and I feel even more gross as a result. But then it suddenly hit me last December: why are there are these new freckles and sun spots on my face? Wearing sunscreen and big sunglasses just is not enough as I ignorantly used to think, and these stupid spots are only going to get worse as I approach middle age! So even though I’ve been borderline obsessive about applying and reapplying sunscreen, I’ve finally admitted to myself that this just isn’t enough. As I have gotten older, I have also changed my stances on certain practices… like wearing hats. But I guess this also means I can just start buying more hats to add to my wardrobe. I just hope I don’t lose them like I have lost two before (one in South Africa, and one in India. I mean, I just wasn’t used to looking after a hat!).