Category Archives: Travel

Scallion bun (cong you bao) in San Francisco is better than in New York

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Growing up, there are certain Cantonese bakery staples that would be on rotation at home. The most common ones were cha siu bao (Cantonese BBQ pork buns, both the baked and the steamed ones), nai huang bao (egg custard bao), lian rong bao (lotus seed bao) (my grandma’s favorite), occasionally ji wei bao (cocktail / coconut bun), and cong you bao (scallion bun). One of my dad’s absolute favorites was always the twisted scallion bao. There would be an ample sprinkling inside and out of chopped scallions/green onions, plus the bun would be rubbed generously with a lightly seasoned scallion oil. When made correctly, the bao itself was soft, pillowy, and nearly melt in your mouth tender and good. The best ones were like eating air; you had no idea how much you had inhaled until the whole damn twisted bun was gone.

I didn’t realize how good I had it getting Chinese bakery items through my grandma and parents growing up (plus the times when relatives would generously bring over the almost expected pink cardboard boxes of Chinese bakery items) until I moved out on my own – it was all trial and error by my own buying and tasting. When I was going to school in the Boston area, I had to figure out which bakeries were good on my own. The same was the case when I moved to New York. I had to rely on strangers’ reviews on Yelp and Google, plus the occasional word of mouth. Most were hit or miss. To this day, after 21 years of living on the East Coast, and 17 of them spent here in New York City, I can say with sadness that I still have not found a bakery that makes scallion buns as good as the ones I can find in San Francisco.

I was reminded of this when I visited two excellent bakeries in San Francisco this last week. We visited Cherry Blossom Bakery on Clement Street in the Inner Richmond, then Good Mong Kok Bakery, one of my family’s staple SF Chinatown bakeries. Cherry Blossom Bakery has had rave reviews and been on my list a while, but I finally popped in while going to the nearby Kiss of Matcha for my reliable and favorite matcha latte. I chose the scallion bao, which was $2, and whe we brought it home, I realized it was truly perfect. It was exactly as I described above: pillowy and deceptively light, with a rich scallion flavor throughout. It must have been made with an excellent tangzhong, or milk bread base paste. Then a couple days later, we visited Good Mong Kok, which my family has been going to as long as I can remember. They are known for lines out the door and very typical Cantonese (read: yelling/barking and quick) service. I picked up one cha siu bao for Kaia, and one scallion bao for us. The scallion bun was very long and only $2. And it was also super pillowy, almost flaky at the edges, and unbelievably fluffy.

While digging into Good Mong Kok Bakery’s perfect cong you bao, I lamented why I still haven’t found this perfection in New York City across any of the endless Chinese bakeries I’ve visited. Even my most favorite Manhattan Chinatown bakeries don’t come close to this taste or texture. Or worse, they like to add extraneous toppings like sliced hot dog (ugh), Chinese sausage (unnecessary), or other meats. When you have a truly delicious and perfect scallion bun, it needs nothing else other than its perfect dough, scallion oil, and scallions.

Who knows – maybe next year when I come to San Francisco, I may just be desperate enough to buy a bunch in bulk and freeze them to bring back to New York with me…

What changes in ten, twenty-plus years

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I feel like every time I come home to San Francisco, I notice yet another thing that has changed. I hadn’t passed 6th and Geary Blvd in ages, and I was shocked while walking along Geary yesterday to see that the entire area that used to be the Ashley & McMullen family owned funeral home was not only demolished, but completely replaced by a multi-story condominium building. There’s no way this happened in just the last year, and I guess I hadn’t passed this part of Geary to notice it. I don’t know why that felt so strange to me, though; condos replace older buildings all the time everywhere, especially places like San Francisco that have a housing shortage. Both my grandma and my uncle had their funerals at this funeral home, in 1995 and then in 2000.

The Alexandria theater at 18th and Geary is still abandoned and looking worn down, a pigeon-poop filled home that is blocked off to humans by aggressive gating. Gaspare’s, the neighborhood Italian American restaurant in the Richmond, still seems to be going strong; we ended up getting takeout pizza and clams with linguine from there on Friday night for family dinner at home. B. Patisserie, a popular (and at that time, very innovative) bakery run by a Chinese American female pastry chef that opened in 2012, is not only humming along in the same location on California at Divisadero, but they have even opened a second location in the heart of downtown now. We went there yesterday and enjoyed some pastries and coffee before walking to Japantown. While I was there, I thought about the week and a half I spent at home in November 2014 because of my dad’s scheduled bypass surgery. His hospital was walking distance from the bakery cafe, so I remember meeting my friend there for lunch one day, and also going there on my own a separate time to decompress a little.

On Friday, I took Kaia to the South Park playground to play while I caught up with an old friend there who drove out to meet us. She was meeting Kaia and also seeing me as a mother for the very first time. It was funny to be in that area after so long, as the last time I remember being in South Park, it was summer 2003, when I had a full-time summer writing internship at WireTap Magazine, a now defunct youth magazine that was owned by the Independent Media Institute (which also used to own Mother Jones). Over twenty years ago, I was an aspiring writer in high school, and today, I am living across the country and am a mother. The play structure had completely changed in the children’s play area, yet the park and surrounding buildings all felt the same. Even some of the fancy cafes that were there twenty years ago still remain today, like Caffe Centro.

People always say things like, “If these walls could talk….” The truth is that there are memories that are conjured every time you walk through old hallways, streets, and neighborhoods that you had frequented, especially when you call the city or town your childhood home. The memories are always a mix of happy, sad, infuriating, and even indifferent, but they are ultimately what colored our lives at a given point in time. Because Kaia is with me, I can see the city through her eyes now. On this trip alone, I’ve lost count of the number of neighborhoods we’ve taken her to and playgrounds/play areas where we’ve played: the Richmond, the Bay Area Discovery Museum in Sausalito, Chinatown, North Beach, South Beach, downtown/the Ferry Building area, the Tenderloin, Noe Valley, the Fillmore. I love watching her run around and play on these local playgrounds. Of course, they are not the same as the playgrounds and structures I played on as a kid, as all of them have been redone regardless of the neighborhood. But when I asked her if she likes San Francisco and being here, she vigorously nodded, “yes.” And that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

My mom’s first ride in a Waymo

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On Saturday when we went to the Ferry Building Farmers Market, my mom said she wanted to come with us while my dad waited for workers to come remove the staging in front of the house from having the facade painted. I figured it would be a good idea since now that she hasn’t worked in over two decades, she rarely has any reason or desire to go downtown. Plus, she would never be interested in visiting any San Francisco farmers’ market without me. Before we even arrived in San Francisco, Chris had declared that he wanted to take Waymo, the self-driving cars, as much as possible while we were within city limits (Waymo only works within the city and on local roads now). We took it a couple times while back here in August 2024, and Chris was eager to have the self-driving experience again.

So without telling my mom, Chris ordered a Waymo to appear at the house to take us to the Ferry Building. When it was coming up the block, my mom panicked when she saw it and asked if that Waymo was for us. “Oh, no, no, no!” she cried. “I’m not getting into that! This is so dangerous!” I urged her to get in and not make a fuss. We buckled in Kaia with her ride-safe belt as she giggled in glee and excitement. “WAYYYYY MOOOOOOO!” she kept yelling happily. Kaia is absolutely obsessed with Waymo and can spot any of them from far away on the street or through the window. Every time she spots one, she yells out, “WAYYY MOOOO!”

When the doors closed and we started the ride, my mom began to calm down. She liked the welcome message, that it says hello and urges you to fasten your seat belt and enjoy the ride. She loved how clean the car was and the (at-the-speed-limit) speed it was driving at. And she especially loved the message that came at the end when you are approaching your destination — it reminds you to take all your belongings, and not to leave your phone or wallet in the car. “Oh, that’s so nice!” she laughed at the auto reminder message.

Later, my mom admitted to me that she was really scared and didn’t think that self-driving cars should be legal. But then once she got into the car, she realized how comfortable, clean, and nice it was. “It’s so clean and well maintained!” my mom exclaimed. “And it drives so safely (read: slower)!”

The very first time I got into a Waymo in August 2024, I was a bit leery initially. But after the first 30 seconds, I got used to it right away and love it. As Chris loves to create verbal bullet points for all the pros of self-driving cars, his points are all true: these cars are safer. You don’t have to worry about a driver judging you for any reason (what you look like, how you talk, what you talk about, how long it takes you to load the trunk/get in the car/get your child properly fastened in). There’s no need to feel rushed when getting in and out of the car because the driver will negatively rate you. If you need to take a phone call or call someone, you can do it without annoying the driver. You also don’t have to worry about whether you are slamming the door or trunk too hard, whether you are bothering your driver with any seat preferences you may have (some Uber/Lyft drivers really don’t like it when you sit in the front seat alongside them). And you have full control over things like heating/air conditioning and music and can calibrate them yourself.

And as someone who has always hated driving and hasn’t driven a car since 2008, I think that self-driving cars really should be the future!

Ferry Building Farmers Market and the whining and whinging in the background

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On Saturday morning, we decided to take a Waymo out to the Ferry Building for the famous Saturday morning farmers market there. I love that farmers market; it’s likely my very favorite one in all of the U.S. that I’ve visited. As a native San Franciscan, I quietly feel a lot of pride and joy when I walk through the endless fresh produce stalls there. Every time we walk by the stalls, whether they are selling various (all labeled by variety!) heirloom tomatoes, eggplants, strawberries, or peaches, it’s as though the perfume of these fresh fruits and veggies beckon to us. I have yet to visit any farmers market in the U.S. that has such rich fragrance coming from the fresh produce all around. If my parents’ house weren’t as cluttered and dirty, I’d be tempted to buy a bunch of the produce there to prepare simply and eat at home, but I guess that is not to be.

While I enjoyed seeing, sampling, and inhaling all the deliciousness around me, it felt like there was someone whining in the background every time I reveled in a tasty piece of tomato or local Valencia orange. No, it was not my toddler. It was actually my mom, mulling in the background, complaining that this peach or that strawberry was too expensive. Seemingly every stall we visited, she’d remark how expensive something was and how could anyone pay so much for any of this produce. It almost dampened my experience of the market. Unlike her, these people take pride and joy in the produce they grow and sell, and they should be charging what is a reasonable price to make a living and continue to sustain themselves. Not everyone has the luxury to not work and have several paychecks come in every month. But she is so out of touch that she never thinks about this.

My mom said she wanted to come with us to spend time with Kaia. But I think we all know there was no quality time spent together. The one moment I actually stopped to pay for a small basket of sun gold tomatoes, I asked my mom to watch Kaia. That didn’t work out. She held her hand for maybe five seconds, and then Kaia ran off. My mom ended up luring her back with candy, which I explicitly told her not to give. If it’s not one thing, it’s always something else that is going wrong.

A friend of mine, who also has a dysfunctional relationship with her mom, reminded me that our parents will never change who they are, and we’re incapable of changing them. The only thing we should be focused on is making sure we are an improvement from them and try to be better parents to our children than they were to us. Each generation should be “better” than the previous. I hope I am achieving that — I hope.

Workplace camaraderie when virtual

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As a parent of a young child, I find it hard to fathom a life where I actually was required to be in an office five days a week full time. That’s a pretty privileged and spoiled thing to say since the majority of full-time working America only knows what that is like, and not what remote or hybrid work feels like. But I was remotely working full time once the pandemic started. I got laid off from that job during the pandemic, then six weeks later got hired at another company that required me to be 100 percent remote in New York City, where my company has no offices. So for over five years now, I’ve only been working remotely. And while I have loved the flexibility, especially with Pookster in tow, I know I still really miss in-office camaraderie.

It’s really hard to “make friends” at work when you are fully remote. Pretty much any “meeting” you have with colleagues will be over Zoom/some other video chat, and virtual meeting fatigue is a real thing. If you have all these internal and external meetings throughout the day, the last thing most people want is a friendly “coffee catchup” over yet another Zoom call. So the very small handful of people I consider “work friends” are actually people I do commit to chatting with 1:1, at least once a month or once every other month, and we chat about work and non-work things. And it’s a relief to chat with people about things that are not work related because it acknowledges that we’re actually human and have things that matter to us outside of work.

I spent almost four hours hanging out with a work friend who is based in the Raleigh area over dinner and drinks last night, and we had so much fun just talking about all things work, positive and negative, and also our lives outside of work. We were laughing so much that our bartender/server seemed a bit left out of the fun and kept checking in to see if he could possibly join in (half joke). But all that reminded me of the fun I used to have when I was at the office, when it was easier to make friends the “normal way” (as in, in person!) and get to know people over work happy hours, dinners, and just by the water fountain or kitchen. At my last company, I was basically the culture queen, organizing work socializing events and getting people to mingle. Here, no one thinks of me that way since we’re all virtual. All of that in-office fun seems like a very distant past, even though it was just over 5.5 years ago.

Quick 24-hour trip to Raleigh, North Carolina

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I booked a relatively last minute trip to come down to Raleigh, North Carolina, to do a customer meeting and also host a customer happy hour. Our customer chose the happy hour spot, which was a new, upscale restaurant in downtown Raleigh. It had high ceilings, textured murals on the walls, beautiful, modern chandeliers, a large bar that actually sparkled, and a level of service that really blew me away. We had a group of about 15 people in total. Somehow, our server was able to remember every single person’s drink when offering to top them up, as she asked them specifically if they would like a second (fill in the name of the specific drink) when coming around. It was really impressive to see her in action; she was like a wizard! In addition, we ordered a number of appetizers for the happy hour event, which included a pull-apart bread served in a cast iron pan with scallion butter, beef sliders with horseradish boursin, arugula, and caramelized onion jam, amongst other things. The sliders were delicious, but what really impressed me was the pull-apart bread. It was a little crisp on the outside (from being baked in a cast iron pan), and super warm, fluffy, soft, and tender on the inside, with a subtle sweetness that reminded me of Portuguese sweet bread. I think I got a third portion of the bread because it was truly that good.

While I’m aware that Raleigh has been growing in popularity with both companies opening offices and headquarters there (and thus more people moving into the area from all over the country, if not world), it didn’t really hit me exactly how “new” everything was until I walked the streets of its downtown area. Almost every building felt like it had just been constructed and had a new and shiny feel to it. All the restaurants seemed modern and spacious, with large open bars and extremely high ceilings. A bakery I visited that got rave reviews had creative pastries on the menu, like a baklava croissant and a “have a little faith in me” pull-apart croissant with brown sugar almond frangipane. I visited only three different food establishments today, but the quality of the food, drink, and service has been really astonishing. I suppose it’s partly the New York City snob in me to be skeptical, but I’ve traveled enough around the U.S. to know that delicious, truly hospitable places are really everywhere, and oftentimes in cities and neighborhoods where you’d never expect it. The other part of me, though, is more impressed because post-pandemic, overall it feels like quality of service has declined everywhere. So it’s given me good vibes to get really great service during my short time in Raleigh.

Chocolate, cherimoya, and strawberry ice cream for Kaia

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I was rummaging through my pajamas when I came across a pajama top I hadn’t worn in ages. It’s a white muscle tank that has three ice cream cones going across: one brown, one white, and one strawberry. The average person would read this as chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice creams. But, my toddler had opinions of her own regarding what flavors they were.

Kaia loves clothing with food on it (definitely my kid). As soon as she saw me put this top on, she squealed and said it was a new top (well, new for her to see) and got excited that it was three ice cream cones. I asked her what flavor was each. She pointed at them, left to right, and said: “this one (brown) is chocolate. This one (in the middle, white) is cherimoya. And this one (on the right, pink) is strawberry! Ice cream for me!”

I immediately started giggling. She didn’t call the white ice cream “vanilla” as she normally would and instead called it “cherimoya” because we ate a lot of cherimoya during our trip in South America. So now she associates the food color white with cherimoya! It was such a sweet and cute thing to say, and also made me realize she truly was taking in everything we talked about and experienced in South America.

Parenting is not an easy job; it’s likely the hardest job in the world. But little sweet moments like this always make me gush and remind me why I love being a parent to my Kaia Pookie.

Souvenirs – to buy or not to buy

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Souvenirs are a token of your travels that you either get for yourself or your loved ones. For the most part, if you get them for yourself, they are a reminder to you of the fun and excitement of whatever destination you visited. If it’s something edible, the food can evoke memories of these far-away lands and literally give you a taste of what you had when you were away. Unfortunately, that “feeling” cannot really be transferred. When you buy some exotic Ecuadorian or Peruvian chocolate made from rare cacao fruit and bring it back for your friends, it will never mean as much to them because a) they didn’t go on your trip and b) they wouldn’t know the intricacies of why this item or food is so different or special. But it’s the “thought” that counts, right? Over the years, I haven’t bought as many souvenirs back for friends and family as I did when I first started traveling. I tend to move away from random objects like figurines because I cannot stand clutter, and if I buy them, I usually try to buy consumable items that are easy, like candy or chocolate. The exception to this is if I know a particular friend is really into something. When I went to Korea in 2016, I brought back specific Korean skincare for one friend and masks for another. When I visited France last November, I brought back French formulated sunscreen (that is not available in the U.S.) for my sunscreen-obsessed friend.

So when we visited Peru and Ecuador, I figured chocolate would be a good gift to bring back. I also picked up some Maras salt from the salt mines we visited in the Sacred Valley. But now that I am dividing these items up, I am not sure which friend would like what item more and why. So it ended up becoming a bit of a crap shoot or eenie-meenie-minie-moe game. It’s mostly different types of chocolate of the few items I bought, so how hard could this possibly be?

Even when I do enjoy the consumables I purchased while abroad and eat them at home, it’s never quite the same as the first time you get to enjoy them in the foreign land. But I still end up buying at least a couple things to bring home and eat because… why not?

Missing magnets are found to add to the magnet boards!

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About halfway through last year, we had covered all three of the large magnet boards that Chris set up for us to display places we’ve visited around the world. Two are prominently displayed in our kitchen. The third is above the dresser in Pookster’s bedroom. We bought a set of two smaller magnet boards and were planning to hang at least one of them up this year. I gathered all the remaining magnets from the middle of last year through our Guangzhou trip this past January, hoping that Chris would put them on the fourth board and hang them up. Well, he didn’t do this, so I ended up taking all the magnets and tucking them away somewhere. When I went to go retrieve them after we came back from Guatemala in May, I realized I didn’t know where they were anymore.

So I combed through multiple closets and drawers, trying to see if I could remember where I’d placed them. It made no sense that I could lose them. It was a decent quantity (and thus weight) of magnets. This apartment is only so big, so there were only so many places where I could have put them. And while organizing Kaia’s things and setting aside clothes she’d outgrown to give away, I realized the magnet collection was in my camera box in her walk-in closet the whole time! I was victorious! I took them all out and laid them out, alongside our Ecuador and Peru magnets, and put them on the board for Chris to put up on the wall.

He put them up this late afternoon, and I went to admire all our new magnets of the last year. We have new magnets from Uruguay, Chile, and Argentina from last summer. We have a new one from Albany, New York, from last October. From our Thanksgiving trip, we have an Alsace magnet to represent Strasbourg. And from our side trip back from Australia, we have a Guangzhou magnet (we already had a couple Hong Kong magnets from 2015-2016’s end-of-year trip). It’s quite the collection of magnets since 2012 (and a couple before that, which I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED to display, such as my very beloved rotating Disney World 2010 magnet). And when I went through magnets from previous travels, I realized that I had a handful that were gifted to me of places I actually hadn’t been to — or at least at that time. I found a glass magnet a former colleague based in Santiago, Chile, had brought when he came to our New York office for training. I remember I had told him that I liked to collect magnets from travels, so he remembered this and gave this to me when he met me. The magnet has a outline of the long, skinny country, and the words “Chile Al Fin del Mundo” or “end of the world.” Granted, I hadn’t been to Chile at that point in time. But we did go last year, so I decided to place it on our fourth magnet board as an ode to him and his thoughtfulness.

Back from a 15-day vacation and home-cooked food is all I want

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Our Northern hemisphere summer trip is always our longest trip away without any home base. This year, we were away for about 15 days, which according to Chris, felt like a longer trip than last year given that we had an overnight flight form New York to Santiago in June 2024. It felt like a good amount of time to be away to feel like we really got to reset and be offline. But at the end of this trip, while I am always a little sad the trip is ending, I’m actually happy to come back home, get back into my daily routine of exercise, work, and cooking. The part I tend to miss the most when I am away from home for a long while is cooking. A friend of mine thought I was crazy when I shared this, but I actually do mean it: cooking is one of my passions, so when I haven’t made anything in a while, my mind and hands tend to feel a little idle. Maybe at some point in the future, we could do an AirBnB where I could have access to a proper kitchen, cooking equipment, and be able to buy local ingredients to cook. But until then, this trip will always mean that we’ll be eating out the whole time, even if “eating out” can simply mean going downstairs to our hotel breakfast.

For dinner today, I made sure to soak lentils and rice the night before so that we’d have dal and rice as our base. I thawed some frozen chicken and frozen tomato onion masala. I trimmed the chicken and cut it into smaller pieces for a Malaysian style curry using the Sambal Lady’s Burlap & Barrel curry spice blend packet. The tomato onion masala got used in the dal I made in the Instant Pot. I cooked some jasmine rice in the rice cooker, and then I made two salads: Chinese-style cucumber salad, plus an arugula salad with beets, carrots, tomatoes, sun dried tomatoes, and toasted pepitas, tossed with a French-style vinaigrette. I also made a side of stir-fried bell peppers for the Pookster.

It always feels good to come back home from a trip and have home-cooked food that is less fatty, oil, salty, or sugary. I’m not saying all the food we eat out is salty, fatty, or oily, but well, you can’t really know what’s in your food unless you make it yourself. That’s what “home sweet home” is all about.