Ferry Building Farmers Market and the whining and whinging in the background

On Saturday morning, we decided to take a Waymo out to the Ferry Building for the famous Saturday morning farmers market there. I love that farmers market; it’s likely my very favorite one in all of the U.S. that I’ve visited. As a native San Franciscan, I quietly feel a lot of pride and joy when I walk through the endless fresh produce stalls there. Every time we walk by the stalls, whether they are selling various (all labeled by variety!) heirloom tomatoes, eggplants, strawberries, or peaches, it’s as though the perfume of these fresh fruits and veggies beckon to us. I have yet to visit any farmers market in the U.S. that has such rich fragrance coming from the fresh produce all around. If my parents’ house weren’t as cluttered and dirty, I’d be tempted to buy a bunch of the produce there to prepare simply and eat at home, but I guess that is not to be.

While I enjoyed seeing, sampling, and inhaling all the deliciousness around me, it felt like there was someone whining in the background every time I reveled in a tasty piece of tomato or local Valencia orange. No, it was not my toddler. It was actually my mom, mulling in the background, complaining that this peach or that strawberry was too expensive. Seemingly every stall we visited, she’d remark how expensive something was and how could anyone pay so much for any of this produce. It almost dampened my experience of the market. Unlike her, these people take pride and joy in the produce they grow and sell, and they should be charging what is a reasonable price to make a living and continue to sustain themselves. Not everyone has the luxury to not work and have several paychecks come in every month. But she is so out of touch that she never thinks about this.

My mom said she wanted to come with us to spend time with Kaia. But I think we all know there was no quality time spent together. The one moment I actually stopped to pay for a small basket of sun gold tomatoes, I asked my mom to watch Kaia. That didn’t work out. She held her hand for maybe five seconds, and then Kaia ran off. My mom ended up luring her back with candy, which I explicitly told her not to give. If it’s not one thing, it’s always something else that is going wrong.

A friend of mine, who also has a dysfunctional relationship with her mom, reminded me that our parents will never change who they are, and we’re incapable of changing them. The only thing we should be focused on is making sure we are an improvement from them and try to be better parents to our children than they were to us. Each generation should be “better” than the previous. I hope I am achieving that — I hope.

Workplace camaraderie when virtual

As a parent of a young child, I find it hard to fathom a life where I actually was required to be in an office five days a week full time. That’s a pretty privileged and spoiled thing to say since the majority of full-time working America only knows what that is like, and not what remote or hybrid work feels like. But I was remotely working full time once the pandemic started. I got laid off from that job during the pandemic, then six weeks later got hired at another company that required me to be 100 percent remote in New York City, where my company has no offices. So for over five years now, I’ve only been working remotely. And while I have loved the flexibility, especially with Pookster in tow, I know I still really miss in-office camaraderie.

It’s really hard to “make friends” at work when you are fully remote. Pretty much any “meeting” you have with colleagues will be over Zoom/some other video chat, and virtual meeting fatigue is a real thing. If you have all these internal and external meetings throughout the day, the last thing most people want is a friendly “coffee catchup” over yet another Zoom call. So the very small handful of people I consider “work friends” are actually people I do commit to chatting with 1:1, at least once a month or once every other month, and we chat about work and non-work things. And it’s a relief to chat with people about things that are not work related because it acknowledges that we’re actually human and have things that matter to us outside of work.

I spent almost four hours hanging out with a work friend who is based in the Raleigh area over dinner and drinks last night, and we had so much fun just talking about all things work, positive and negative, and also our lives outside of work. We were laughing so much that our bartender/server seemed a bit left out of the fun and kept checking in to see if he could possibly join in (half joke). But all that reminded me of the fun I used to have when I was at the office, when it was easier to make friends the “normal way” (as in, in person!) and get to know people over work happy hours, dinners, and just by the water fountain or kitchen. At my last company, I was basically the culture queen, organizing work socializing events and getting people to mingle. Here, no one thinks of me that way since we’re all virtual. All of that in-office fun seems like a very distant past, even though it was just over 5.5 years ago.

Quick 24-hour trip to Raleigh, North Carolina

I booked a relatively last minute trip to come down to Raleigh, North Carolina, to do a customer meeting and also host a customer happy hour. Our customer chose the happy hour spot, which was a new, upscale restaurant in downtown Raleigh. It had high ceilings, textured murals on the walls, beautiful, modern chandeliers, a large bar that actually sparkled, and a level of service that really blew me away. We had a group of about 15 people in total. Somehow, our server was able to remember every single person’s drink when offering to top them up, as she asked them specifically if they would like a second (fill in the name of the specific drink) when coming around. It was really impressive to see her in action; she was like a wizard! In addition, we ordered a number of appetizers for the happy hour event, which included a pull-apart bread served in a cast iron pan with scallion butter, beef sliders with horseradish boursin, arugula, and caramelized onion jam, amongst other things. The sliders were delicious, but what really impressed me was the pull-apart bread. It was a little crisp on the outside (from being baked in a cast iron pan), and super warm, fluffy, soft, and tender on the inside, with a subtle sweetness that reminded me of Portuguese sweet bread. I think I got a third portion of the bread because it was truly that good.

While I’m aware that Raleigh has been growing in popularity with both companies opening offices and headquarters there (and thus more people moving into the area from all over the country, if not world), it didn’t really hit me exactly how “new” everything was until I walked the streets of its downtown area. Almost every building felt like it had just been constructed and had a new and shiny feel to it. All the restaurants seemed modern and spacious, with large open bars and extremely high ceilings. A bakery I visited that got rave reviews had creative pastries on the menu, like a baklava croissant and a “have a little faith in me” pull-apart croissant with brown sugar almond frangipane. I visited only three different food establishments today, but the quality of the food, drink, and service has been really astonishing. I suppose it’s partly the New York City snob in me to be skeptical, but I’ve traveled enough around the U.S. to know that delicious, truly hospitable places are really everywhere, and oftentimes in cities and neighborhoods where you’d never expect it. The other part of me, though, is more impressed because post-pandemic, overall it feels like quality of service has declined everywhere. So it’s given me good vibes to get really great service during my short time in Raleigh.

Chocolate, cherimoya, and strawberry ice cream for Kaia

I was rummaging through my pajamas when I came across a pajama top I hadn’t worn in ages. It’s a white muscle tank that has three ice cream cones going across: one brown, one white, and one strawberry. The average person would read this as chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice creams. But, my toddler had opinions of her own regarding what flavors they were.

Kaia loves clothing with food on it (definitely my kid). As soon as she saw me put this top on, she squealed and said it was a new top (well, new for her to see) and got excited that it was three ice cream cones. I asked her what flavor was each. She pointed at them, left to right, and said: “this one (brown) is chocolate. This one (in the middle, white) is cherimoya. And this one (on the right, pink) is strawberry! Ice cream for me!”

I immediately started giggling. She didn’t call the white ice cream “vanilla” as she normally would and instead called it “cherimoya” because we ate a lot of cherimoya during our trip in South America. So now she associates the food color white with cherimoya! It was such a sweet and cute thing to say, and also made me realize she truly was taking in everything we talked about and experienced in South America.

Parenting is not an easy job; it’s likely the hardest job in the world. But little sweet moments like this always make me gush and remind me why I love being a parent to my Kaia Pookie.

Souvenirs – to buy or not to buy

Souvenirs are a token of your travels that you either get for yourself or your loved ones. For the most part, if you get them for yourself, they are a reminder to you of the fun and excitement of whatever destination you visited. If it’s something edible, the food can evoke memories of these far-away lands and literally give you a taste of what you had when you were away. Unfortunately, that “feeling” cannot really be transferred. When you buy some exotic Ecuadorian or Peruvian chocolate made from rare cacao fruit and bring it back for your friends, it will never mean as much to them because a) they didn’t go on your trip and b) they wouldn’t know the intricacies of why this item or food is so different or special. But it’s the “thought” that counts, right? Over the years, I haven’t bought as many souvenirs back for friends and family as I did when I first started traveling. I tend to move away from random objects like figurines because I cannot stand clutter, and if I buy them, I usually try to buy consumable items that are easy, like candy or chocolate. The exception to this is if I know a particular friend is really into something. When I went to Korea in 2016, I brought back specific Korean skincare for one friend and masks for another. When I visited France last November, I brought back French formulated sunscreen (that is not available in the U.S.) for my sunscreen-obsessed friend.

So when we visited Peru and Ecuador, I figured chocolate would be a good gift to bring back. I also picked up some Maras salt from the salt mines we visited in the Sacred Valley. But now that I am dividing these items up, I am not sure which friend would like what item more and why. So it ended up becoming a bit of a crap shoot or eenie-meenie-minie-moe game. It’s mostly different types of chocolate of the few items I bought, so how hard could this possibly be?

Even when I do enjoy the consumables I purchased while abroad and eat them at home, it’s never quite the same as the first time you get to enjoy them in the foreign land. But I still end up buying at least a couple things to bring home and eat because… why not?

Missing magnets are found to add to the magnet boards!

About halfway through last year, we had covered all three of the large magnet boards that Chris set up for us to display places we’ve visited around the world. Two are prominently displayed in our kitchen. The third is above the dresser in Pookster’s bedroom. We bought a set of two smaller magnet boards and were planning to hang at least one of them up this year. I gathered all the remaining magnets from the middle of last year through our Guangzhou trip this past January, hoping that Chris would put them on the fourth board and hang them up. Well, he didn’t do this, so I ended up taking all the magnets and tucking them away somewhere. When I went to go retrieve them after we came back from Guatemala in May, I realized I didn’t know where they were anymore.

So I combed through multiple closets and drawers, trying to see if I could remember where I’d placed them. It made no sense that I could lose them. It was a decent quantity (and thus weight) of magnets. This apartment is only so big, so there were only so many places where I could have put them. And while organizing Kaia’s things and setting aside clothes she’d outgrown to give away, I realized the magnet collection was in my camera box in her walk-in closet the whole time! I was victorious! I took them all out and laid them out, alongside our Ecuador and Peru magnets, and put them on the board for Chris to put up on the wall.

He put them up this late afternoon, and I went to admire all our new magnets of the last year. We have new magnets from Uruguay, Chile, and Argentina from last summer. We have a new one from Albany, New York, from last October. From our Thanksgiving trip, we have an Alsace magnet to represent Strasbourg. And from our side trip back from Australia, we have a Guangzhou magnet (we already had a couple Hong Kong magnets from 2015-2016’s end-of-year trip). It’s quite the collection of magnets since 2012 (and a couple before that, which I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED to display, such as my very beloved rotating Disney World 2010 magnet). And when I went through magnets from previous travels, I realized that I had a handful that were gifted to me of places I actually hadn’t been to — or at least at that time. I found a glass magnet a former colleague based in Santiago, Chile, had brought when he came to our New York office for training. I remember I had told him that I liked to collect magnets from travels, so he remembered this and gave this to me when he met me. The magnet has a outline of the long, skinny country, and the words “Chile Al Fin del Mundo” or “end of the world.” Granted, I hadn’t been to Chile at that point in time. But we did go last year, so I decided to place it on our fourth magnet board as an ode to him and his thoughtfulness.

Back from a 15-day vacation and home-cooked food is all I want

Our Northern hemisphere summer trip is always our longest trip away without any home base. This year, we were away for about 15 days, which according to Chris, felt like a longer trip than last year given that we had an overnight flight form New York to Santiago in June 2024. It felt like a good amount of time to be away to feel like we really got to reset and be offline. But at the end of this trip, while I am always a little sad the trip is ending, I’m actually happy to come back home, get back into my daily routine of exercise, work, and cooking. The part I tend to miss the most when I am away from home for a long while is cooking. A friend of mine thought I was crazy when I shared this, but I actually do mean it: cooking is one of my passions, so when I haven’t made anything in a while, my mind and hands tend to feel a little idle. Maybe at some point in the future, we could do an AirBnB where I could have access to a proper kitchen, cooking equipment, and be able to buy local ingredients to cook. But until then, this trip will always mean that we’ll be eating out the whole time, even if “eating out” can simply mean going downstairs to our hotel breakfast.

For dinner today, I made sure to soak lentils and rice the night before so that we’d have dal and rice as our base. I thawed some frozen chicken and frozen tomato onion masala. I trimmed the chicken and cut it into smaller pieces for a Malaysian style curry using the Sambal Lady’s Burlap & Barrel curry spice blend packet. The tomato onion masala got used in the dal I made in the Instant Pot. I cooked some jasmine rice in the rice cooker, and then I made two salads: Chinese-style cucumber salad, plus an arugula salad with beets, carrots, tomatoes, sun dried tomatoes, and toasted pepitas, tossed with a French-style vinaigrette. I also made a side of stir-fried bell peppers for the Pookster.

It always feels good to come back home from a trip and have home-cooked food that is less fatty, oil, salty, or sugary. I’m not saying all the food we eat out is salty, fatty, or oily, but well, you can’t really know what’s in your food unless you make it yourself. That’s what “home sweet home” is all about.

Caraguay Market, Ecuadorian chocolate, and lulo ice cream

Saturday was our last full day in Ecuador and in South America for this trip. It was a bit bittersweet to have the trip come to an end. On our last day, we visited the Caraguay Market, a very local market for fresh food, produce, and food stalls. There, we got a real taste of local blackberries that were a very interesting mix of sweet and tart. They definitely tasted like the un-sugared version of the mora (blackberry) ice cream we enjoyed at La Dulceria La Palma the other day! We also had a really deeply flavored sopa de mariscos from a prepared food vendor stall for just $2. It definitely felt like we could have been the only tourists at that market. The interesting thing about this market versus other markets we’ve visited in South America and around the world is that here, we saw endless vendors selling bags and bags of freshly picked beans. They ranged from fava to what looked like borlotti beans and white beans. I knew they were fresh because I actually saw some vendors freshly picking the beans out of pods! In addition to that, for the very first time I saw hibiscus flowers being sold fresh. Usually when I see them, they are already dried, but here, it was as thought they were freshly plucked! Hibiscus juice or “jamaica” is also very popular down here, though we never had any since we favored coffee or freshly blended juices like maracuya or tomate de arbol.

The last stop we had was at San Fernando Chocolateria in Guayaquil. It was quite touristy since it was right next door to the national chocolate museum, but here, we had a cookie brownie, a hot chocolate, and a scoop of lulo (fruit) ice cream — likely our last taste of lulo this trip. Kaia asked for chocolate, but well, we had to veto her and get lulo. She didn’t seem to mind and kept on wanting more and more bites of the lulo ice cream.

Every time we’ve had chocolate either here or in Peru, I’ve noticed that the chocolate just tastes fruitier. One of our guides told us that the chocolate here tends to be cacao plus sugar, and little else. Occasionally, they will add milk, but there are no other additives. While a lot of other chocolate manufacturers around the world will add “fat” to chocolate from things like various vegetable or palm oils, in Ecuador and Peru, the fat comes purely from the cacao butter, so the actual cacao bean itself.

After doing some further reading about Ecuadorian chocolate specifically, I learned that two different types of Ecuadorian cocoa plants are grown — National (arriba) and the CCN51 hybrid. The National/Arriba beans (“fine aroma”) beans are recognized for their fine floral flavor and fruity aromas. Ecuador produces about 63 percent of all fine Arriba chocolate in the world today. Unfortunately for us, though, Arriba beans only account for less than five percent of the entire world’s cocoa crop. So less people will be able to experience the complex flavors of Arriba cacao beans. CCN51 hybrid is a stronger plant in that it’s more resistant to disease and thus easier to grow. It also produces larger beans. Sadly, though, these beans are supposed to have a less nuanced taste. But they’re cheaper, so they make it easier for more people around the world to taste chocolate.

I should have known that there were a variety of different cacao plants in existence in the same way there are dozens and dozens of different mango, apple, and any other fruit out there. But having learned this and hearing more about chocolate from our guides, I realized that the higher level of fruitiness of the chocolate we were tasting was not just in my head. The flavor of chocolate actually is richer, deeper, and more layered here than I am used to. While I still enjoy milk chocolate I think my tastes are definitely preferring darker chocolates now in search of more flavors and nuance.

Six crabs for $18, iguanas, and my beloved alfajores in Guayaquil, Ecuador

Guayaquil is an interesting city. It’s the largest city in Ecuador, both by population and size, and is considered the country’s main port and economic capital. From a tourist’s standpoint, it’s also seen as the main access point to get to the Galapagos Islands. While I was pleasantly surprised when we arrived in Quito to see that the traffic was really predictable and orderly, I was shocked how different Quito traffic was to Guayaquil’s. In Guayaquil’s, it seemed as erratic and crazy as in Lima. Cars didn’t always stop at stop signs or red lights. They rarely give way for pedestrians here. It almost felt like we were once again in a different country!

Chris described Guayaquil as feeling “gritty.” He doesn’t mean it as though it’s dirty, but he says it has a different feel to it than Quito. It’s definitely far less manicured and picturesque here. In my own mind, Guayaquil is most definitely not as clean or orderly as Quito. On a lot of the streets, it smelled like an unpleasant mix of excessive bird poop and mildew. But I suppose that adds to the “character” of Guayaquil for those who choose to stop here for a few days.

The biggest highlights to our first full day in Guayaquil yesterday were 1) the cheap crabs (six for $18!) at Mercado del Rio, 2) the iguanas at a park in the middle of the city, and 3) Dulceria La Palma.

After the exorbitantly expensive crab experience I’d had in Hong Kong earlier this year, I really wasn’t ready to pay much money at all for any crabs again. Plus, I dislike cracking crabs by myself and think it should really be a group activity. But when we saw cheap crabs on the menu at Mercado del Rio along the water, Chris insisted that I get them. So it was supposed to be five crabs for $18, and somehow, I got a sixth bonus one! These weren’t anywhere as fresh as the Dungeness crab I had in Hong Kong, but it’s okay since it didn’t feel like robbery like the Hong Kong crab was. I mostly focused on the claws and larger legs and left the rest. Chris and Kaia also had their seafood fix via some freshly grilled fish and seafood stew.

When we got to the Parque Seminario, known for iguanas just hanging out, I was wondering when we’d come across one… and then, suddenly, there were many! And once again, my child never fails to surprise me. Kaia shocked me when she exhibited no fear of the Andean condors outside of Quito just days ago. Then, while at a park in the middle of Guayaquil known for having lots of iguanas today, she was once again unfazed seeing these scaly looking reptiles. She tried to feed and even throw leaves on them and didn’t even look the least bit scared.

Another place we visited that we all loved was Dulceria La Palma. It’s a local institution for coffee, breakfast, snacks, and sweets that originally opened in 1908, but now has several locations. We went to the original location and had coffees, a tomate de arbol (local fruit) juice, two (yes, TWO!) mora (blackberry) ice creams, and sampled a few bite sized pastries. People were constantly streaming in and out for coffee, ice cream, ham and cheese sandwiches, and massive takeout boxes of pastries and cookies. The prices were insanely cheap and most definitely accessible to anyone and everyone. An alfajor for only 36 cents? YES, PLEASE.

For me, the highlight here was finally, finally having alfajores on this South America trip. I originally ordered just two to try, but we ended up ordering two more (and our kind, friendly waiter threw in a third one on the house for us!). The alfajores were small, bite sized, and topped generously with a big sprinkling of powdered sugar. The biscuits shattered on contact as they should given their buttery quality. And the insides were so funny: the bakers who prepared them simply piped on a small dollop of caramel without spreading them. They were probably thinking, “yeah… we don’t have to spread them in this sandwich cookie for you; you get the idea, so go eat it!” These little bites of alfajores really topped off this trip for me.

“Can you calm down me?” and other toddler fun while in South America

In the last three-ish years since we’ve been traveling with Kaia, whenever we have a big trip, whether it’s been to India, Germany, Argentina, or Ecuador and Peru, one of the first questions I get asked from colleagues is, “Is your kid coming, too?” What my colleagues aren’t aware of is the fact that we don’t have grandparents on either side who live close by to just swoop in and take care of Kaia for a week or two. We can’t just drive an hour, drop her off, and then head to the airport. We also cannot easily have the grandparents fly from their homes in San Francisco or Australia to take care of her just because we want to fly off to some fun, exotic destination sans child. On Chris’s side, there’s the obvious issue of distance. On my side, it’s an issue of distance… plus the fact that I categorically do not trust my parents, mentally or physically, to care for my child.

Traveling with a baby, or now toddler, has its challenges. It makes even the slightest things, like going through airport security, more annoying and taxing. Packing is a lot more onerous because of all the other things we have to remember to bring for her (like her potty seat or overnight pull-ups, plus all emergency supplies). Our trip is also compromised because we cannot do everything we’d like to do. The biggest case in point is that we didn’t choose a Macchu Picchu outing on this trip because of her. We’re also not going to the Galapagos Islands… since how are we going to go snorkeling with a three-year-old? But I think all that is evened out by seeing her discover and explore new things, places, tastes, and also seeing her understanding of the world increase. Her love of trains, cars, airports, and planes is clear. She is usually open to trying new foods, thus increasing the diversity of her gut biome. And she always wants to know when she’s going on a train or plane next. She’s been able to see and interact with people from literally all over the world. When we arrived in Guayaquil yesterday, she yelled that we were going to Guayaquil, “not Ecuador!” and Chris had to explain to her that Guayaquil was in Ecuador, just as Quito was. Guayaquil is a part of Ecuador!

Last night, while putting her to bed, we finished reading and she looked up at me with a sleepy smile and said, “Can you calm down me?” I giggled a little when I heard this. While the grammar was definitely wrong, I just smiled so hard at the fact that she said this and knew what she was saying. I wondered if her teachers at school ever give her a back rub or something to “calm her down” before a nap (if she actually naps, that is). Chris and I never say to her that we’re going to calm her down before bed, so it must have been her school teachers who she picked this up from. As I rubbed her back and head while she closed her eyes, I wondered when the day would come when she’d get the grammar of this sentence correct. And I knew that when that day would, in fact, come, I’d likely be sad because once again, another teeny tiny part of her toddlerhood would slip away from her… and from me.