Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood

I recently started reading a book called Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood, written by Lucy Jones. The term “matrescence” still doesn’t seem to be recognized by the dictionary in the year 2024, which is quite sad and pathetic considering time has evolved. Matrescence refers to the state of a person becoming a mother and all that this transition entails. I first heard of the term in a news article my friend linked to me, which I think was in NPR, about matrescence and how it doesn’t get nearly as much research, news coverage, or talk as it should. My friend sent this to me as she was sharing with me how much her body and her mind had changed after giving birth. She said it was hard to describe, but the way she thought about things and saw the world was completely different. She expected it to be different after becoming a mother, but she wasn’t prepared for exactly how different her perspective would be in her postpartum state.

A lot happens to a person when they become a mother, both mentally and physically, yet somehow, we’re all expected to just “bounce back” in every sense of the word after giving birth. Children do not give birth to themselves; mothers give birth to them, and that’s a very wild and intense ride, and for some women, can even be traumatic. To this day, the 25 hours I spent in labor from beginning to end was the most intense 25 hours of my entire freaking life; I doubt anything will ever top that – physically, mentally, emotionally. IT WAS BEYOND INTENSE. It is said that it takes somewhere between two to four years for a woman to feel like “herself” again after giving birth. Unfortunately, in the U.S., you’re meant to go back to work the next week, in six weeks, and if you’re “lucky” like me, in the next 16-20 weeks. So who cares if you are “yourself” again!

A lot has resonated with me as I am going through this book, but what I wasn’t expecting was this excerpt near the beginning:

“During pregnancy, cells are exchanged between the mother and fetus in the placenta. When the baby is born, some of those cells remain intact in the mother’s body. For decades. Perhaps forever. The phenomenon is called microchimerism. The exchange creates what the leading geneticist Dr. Diana Bianchi calls “a permanent connection which contributes to the survival of both individuals.

“Cells have been found in subsequent siblings, too. If you have a younger brother or sister, they may have your cells.”

I figured that something would likely be left behind from my baby after giving birth, especially given the role the placenta plays and how that also needs to be birthed out of you, but I didn’t realize that my baby’s cells could stay in me potentially forever. Nor did I ever think that any subsequent siblings would have their older siblings’ cells in them. But that then made me stop and think: Wow. That means that I physically have some of Ed’s cells in me. He actually is a part of me, and in more ways than I had previously thought or known. I always knew that a part of Kaia would be in me, and I’d obviously be in her, but Ed’s in me? But it gave me this sense of joy and warmth, as strange as it sounds. He may no longer be living, but he physically is still living on in me, through cells that I got from him through our mother.

I think it goes without saying that I am definitely enjoying this book.

The baby tooth that could

I went in for a dental cleaning today and told my dentist that my destabilized baby tooth (thanks, pregnancy) felt even more destabilized in the last few weeks. He took x-rays of the tooth and showed me what it looked like.

“The bone has completely degraded underneath the baby tooth!” he exclaimed while looking at the x-ray through the light. “The baby tooth has nothing to hang onto! It’s really any day now!”

My childhood dentist told me that I’d be lucky if my two baby teeth lasted until age 30. I’m turning 39 in just a few months. The only reason this baby tooth got destabilized is due to pregnancy tooth decay in the neighboring tooth, which resulted in a root canal in 2022 that shook up the baby tooth. All dentists I’ve seen since childhood have told me they’ve been amazed I’ve kept both baby teeth in such good shape for this long; I’m an anomaly. And as each year goes on and the baby teeth stay in tact, I’m even more of a freak (or miracle?) to them.

We decided I’d just wait until the tooth fell out on its own. That day is going to be utterly terrifying and relieving at the same time. I can tell it’s gotten looser in the last few months. I consciously try to avoid eating anything hard on my right side because of it. The day it falls out is also going to be a sad and bloody one, an end of an era. I just hope that when it does finally happen that I’m not in a public place; the last thing I want to do is freak people out by trying to run to the nearest bathroom with blood running down my mouth and chin. And then, at that point, I’ll need to get bone grafted for a potential implant, which will not only require surgery, but also be quite expensive. The dentist told me that I should be reserving next year’s dental allowance from my insurance for this. I’ll need to brace myself.

This is what getting older means: spending more money on annoying health-related procedures. It’s mortality staring me in the face.

Dry oil for skin

About 12-14 years ago, oils became quite en vogue as part of one’s skincare regimen here in the U.S. Argan oil became extremely popular, as did coconut oil and different forms of olive oil. Endless other oils that are not from food we eat have also become more mainstream, such as jojoba, rosehip, marula, squalane, and seabuckthorn. While I was initially wary of it, especially given that for so long, we were told by endless sources that oils would clog our pores, I ended up embracing oil on my face and really enjoying it. A drop or two can go a long way, and so I oftentimes take a small amount and rub it into my skin before bed before my moisturizer, or I will mix a few drops into my daytime moisturizer when getting ready for the day. As I’ve gotten older, my skin has definitely gotten dryer in some parts, and so I’ve had to find better sources for moisturizing to prevent dryness, especially in the winter time. I don’t really have a loyalty to any one type of face oil now, but I do like trying new things, hence my skincare junkie side that I don’t have many opportunities to discuss with a willing audience.

About a month ago, I was perusing the body/face care section of Trader Joe’s, and I noticed a lemongrass coconut body oil on the shelf. It’s mixed with lemongrass, coconut, almond, jojoba, and olive oils. The description said it would dry quickly, so I thought I would give it a shot. After my morning workout and shower, I rubbed it into my arms, chest, and legs for the first time, and I was actually really surprised at how quickly my skin absorbed the oil. It was so quick to rub in, and once I was about to put clothes on, the oil feeling was not detectable at all. But my skin looked and felt moisturized. And my skin continued to look and feel moisturized the rest of the day; the oil really was locking in the moisture after my shower. The feeling and process of rubbing body oil onto my skin after a shower seemed so much more luxurious (and quick!) than rubbing in regular lotion. I could get used to doing this as part of my morning routine.

I think this is also part of getting older: appreciating all these little experiences that previously seemed gross, excessive, or inconsequential when I was in my 20s, but now are truly like little everyday indulgences. Dry body oil and high quality, scented candles are definitely in this category of little luxuries. And while I do not necessarily love the strong lemongrass smell (as my friend says, “I like to eat lemongrass, not smell like it”), it does fade very quickly, and it also has the added bonus of being a natural mosquito repellent!

The dramatic bursts of aging at ages 44 and 60

In the last several weeks, the study that cites that human beings age dramatically at 44, then at 60, has been making the rounds. My friend sent me this article a few weeks ago. He’s 46 now, but he told me that he really felt it at age 44 two years ago, right around the time that his now 2-year-old daughter was born. He said he thought that it was just because of being a new dad and having a newborn, which meant worse sleep and higher fatigue, but this study said everything to him.

“Get ready for it,” he’s warned me. He said he’s already been warning his wife, who turns 44 next year, about this change.

But I take his “warning” with a grain of salt since he’s not the healthiest person in both diet or movement. He only had maybe a one-year period (during the pandemic) when he actively worked out (swimming three times a week) and ate more mindfully.

The truth is that none of this news really bothers me. While we are younger and healthy, we can adjust our lifestyles to be more healthy and active. The best thing any of us can do is prevention and health maintenance in the here and now. That means exercising regularly, eating relatively healthy, and trying our best to get adequate sleep. On top of that, it means getting routine health checks, dental cleanings, and all the other riveting “health maintenance” activities we’re supposed to be doing to take care of our bodies. As the Peter Attia Outlive book says, if there’s one thing we can do to increase our longevity, it’s to move and be active; exercise! Even if genetics or luck play a role in all this, exercise can never, ever hurt. I always feel different during the day if I haven’t exercised in the morning. My mind feels less alert, and my body just feels more sluggish without morning exercise.

All of us are aging. There is no doubt about that, and there is no way to prevent that. As the last couple years have gone on, I’ve noticed more expression lines on my face, more sun spots (the bane of my current existence), and less elasticity of my skin overall. I suppose all these are signs of “maturing.” The number of white hairs on my head has also multiplied. I’ve just accepted it as part of life’s progression. I’ve tried to do things like re-apply sunblock more, obsessively put on a hat to cover my face, and seek shade when possible during sunny days. When having my highlights redone, I’ll ask my hair stylist to color my whites. But really, no one wants to stay stuck in time forever. No one wants to be a single age forever. So in the meantime, I’ll do my best to eat more fresh food and whole grains, exercise rigorously and regularly, stretch, sleep adequately, and not worry about what is out of my control.

Laser Excel V+ results, almost one week later

The scabs have slowly but surely been flaking off my face. I’ve already passed the five-day mark of using the post-treatment skin regimen morning and night. I looked at my skin today and realized that yes, there actually has been quite a bit of positive change. I used to have all these tiny little black dots on my face, and after the scabs have fallen off, they’re completely out of sight now. There are still some tiny scabs left on my face, but given that so many have already come off and revealed new, un-pigmented skin, this seemed like a win. A large sun spot on the left side of my face by my eye had a scab that fully flaked off today, and it’s completely different than what it used to look like: it used to be quite raised, with tiny brown dots that had all accumulated together like little cells on a petri dish. Once this scab flaked off, lightly brown tinted skin was revealed. No raised skin was there anymore; the skin is completely smooth there. I took a look at photos of myself just a few weeks before, and that spot was noticeable from a distance, and not anymore! The esthetician and my referring friend told me the spots would continue to lighten in the next week, so I’m keeping an eye on them. It will be interesting to see how much more it lightens at this rate.

Unfortunately, given the skin on my neck is a lot more delicate, most of the tiny scabs have remained and have been slower to flake off. But I figure in another week, they should flake off fine on their own. I’m pretty impressed so far with just one laser Excel V+ treatment, as I had my hopes high when my friend said that she did one treatment, and she was told after that her skin responded so well to it that it appeared as though she had two cycles of treatment already. I thought, I hope that’s me! If the scabs keep coming off and reveal new skin as it has been in the last day or so, I might get one more treatment and call it quits. It’s quite a pretty penny, but I feel good about this investment so far.

Laser treatment: the first major cosmetic indulgence I’ve ever done

In the last year, I’ve noticed the increase in freckles and sun spots on my face. Three have been on my face for probably the last three years, but they have not only gotten bigger, but darker. Some people look at these like they are beauty marks; I just see them on my face as flaws that I hate. Every time I’d see my mom when I’d go home, she’d take my face in her hands and scrutinize my face to see what new spots had appeared or what had gotten bigger, and I’d get really annoyed; there really was no escaping her criticism whether it was around things I was doing or what was growing on my FACE. I still remember back in March 2016 when my makeup artist was airbrushing my face for my wedding, and the sun spot on my right cheek was quite faint, but definitely there. She airbrushed over it so that it was completely invisible. And I looked at myself and thought, wow! This looks good!!

So when I made a casual comment about being obsessive about wearing a hat in the sun now because I hate my sun spots, a friend took notice and suggested I get them removed. She had already had a lot removed all over her body at a specific medical spa in Manhattan that she highly recommended. She also said she had a referral discount to offer, and that the spa did package discounts when you did four or more treatments. Since she’d had personal experience, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to do a free consult. I did this back in June right before we left for South America. The esthetician gave me some suggestions on treatments, and since I wanted to think it over given it would be a small fortune, one that I’d never, ever thought I’d spend on something cosmetic for myself, as it just seemed too indulgent, I had a custom facial instead, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

After noodling it over, I finally decided to try one laser (Excel V+) treatment. I had it done yesterday, and it was an interesting experience. On target spots, it felt like very tiny pricks on the specific areas. And on the entire face and neck area, it felt like a very hot beam of light being blown lightly all over the general area. My esthetician gave me calming and cooling treatments, finished off my face with SPF 45, gave me information on what to expect the next few days, and sent me home with a post-procedure skincare kit to rejuvenate my skin and protect my moisture barrier.

As expected and as the esthetician had discussed, my face and neck were quite red after, and the target spots were starting to darken within just a few hours. They’re all supposed to darken even more for the next 2-3 days until they crust over and fall off. Then, the spots are supposed to get lighter, and some may even fully disappear in the next week or so. It typically takes more than one treatment to completely eliminate these spots, especially since they took ages to grow and accumulate (that’s Asian melanin for you). Of course, I was hoping I’d only have to do one treatment to see significant or total change. But we’ll see in about a week or so how lucky I am… or not.

This is, by far, the most indulgent thing I’ve ever spent money on myself for. I hesitated on it for a long time before committing to a single appointment. But I figured – I’m in my 39th year of life. I’m only getting older and will get more wrinkles, white hair, and health issues. I might as well give myself this small indulgence now while I’m still semi-young and enjoy how I look while it lasts! Plus, my peers are spending tons of money on their regular gel and acrylic manicures, constant hair treatments, and $200-400 monthly facials, so…. why not do this for me?

Yerba mate: the national drink of Uruguay, Paraguay, and Argentina

I first learned about yerba mate about 11 years ago. I had a colleague who had recently come back from South America, and he was addicted to mate. He drank it out of a cup that was oddly shaped (to me, at least, at the time) and used a peculiar looking straw. I saw what looked to be lots of tea leaves in the bottom of the cup, some were wet and some were half dry (as a tea drinker myself, I was truly bewildered by this sight; why would part of the leaves be DRY?), and I asked him what he was drinking. He told me it was yerba mate, a caffeinated herbal drink that was popular in South America. I asked him if it was a type of tea, and he said it was not. Technically, he was right: yerba mate comes from a specific holly plant that is indigenous to South America, whereas true “tea” has to be from the plant species camellia sinensis. I later learned that yerba mate is considered an “herbal” tea, similar to tisanes like chamomile and lavender “tea.” I remember he had a smile on his face when he described it to me. He said mate was healthier than tea; it supposedly has more antioxidants/polyphenols, and has lower caffeine content than coffee for an equivalent sized serving. Some research suggests that mate may help enhance physical performance and boost energy levels, so occasionally, you may see mate as an ingredient in sports or energy drinks.

Well, yerba mate was inescapable as soon as we arrived in Uruguay. It did not matter if someone was doing a brisk walk or jog along the Ramblas or walking through the bustling Sunday market with friends. You would see people walking with their calabash squash mate cup (the drinking cup is also called a mate), with mate leaves half dry and half soaked in hot water, with their bombilla (the name of the interesting shaped reusable metal drinking straw, which also serves as a mate leaf filter) in one hand; in the other hand or arm, they’d be carrying a long thermos to continue topping up their mate cup. If you were to walk through the streets of Montevideo and not notice this, you likely would either be blind or not have eyes; these mate cups and thermoses were literally everywhere and being consumed by everyone! After a while, I loved looking out for them as we people watched.

We walked into a couple supermarkets in Montevideo and Buenos Aires, where they would have full sections of the shop (in some cases, an entire shelf or wall!) devoted to all the different brands of yerba mate. And it was so cheap, too: you could get a kilo (2.2 lb!!) of loose mate for the equivalent of just a few U.S. dollars. As I stood to admire one wall of mate and all the different brands I was unfamiliar with while at a supermarket, at least eight or nine different people made a beeline for that wall to grab (what I’d assume was) their favorite brand of mate and headed to check out. Mate is very, very serious here, and essentially a household staple.

But whenever we’d stop in cafes or bakeries in Montevideo, we would never see yerba mate listed as a potential drink you could order. I kept my eye out for it, and it yielded no opportunity to just have a cup. I ended up spending $2 USD to buy 200 grams of organic mate from a supermarket near our hotel to bring home; I paid a relative premium for this mate because the bags were so small. The smallest average bags you’d see mate being sold in were at least 500 grams. I asked our hotel in Uruguay about this, and the front desk person said it was because it’s mostly consumed at home among family and friends, and not meant to be something in public restaurants or cafes. So while in Buenos Aires, when we did a tour of El Zanjon, which was a very deep house that had restored labyrinths and served as one of the first B.A. settlements back in 1536, our tour guide mentioned mate and a shop called Mate Ame where we could finally do a mate tasting. It made sense that a place like this existed in B.A. but not in Montevideo. Buenos Aires had more of a tourism scene, and so they could cater to this. Montevideo gets far fewer tourists than B.A. does.

Mate Ame was a short walk from our hotel, so we visited yesterday morning for a tasting of a traditional mate (plain) and an herbal one (with added herbs like mint, plus some green tea). Wow – this was not for the faint of heart — it was definitely potent! Mate on its own is actually quite in-your-face, imposing, and bitter! This is an acquired taste, not one that the average person would enjoy right off the bat. The herbal version was much easier going down for me, but Chris actually enjoyed the traditional version more. There is definitely a method to drinking it that the Mate Ame person walked us through. You’re supposed to put about 1-2 tablespoons of mate in your cup (basically half fill it), then tip it on its side to make sure you have the right amount. After that, you fill the other half of the cup (assuming you have a regular glass and not a calabash squash cup, which is meant for just one person given it can mold…) with less-than-boiling water — not too hot, otherwise you’ll burn the mate and ruin the taste! You dunk your bombilla into the cup, and DO NOT STIR. You sip slowly and enjoy. Once you hear this distinct scratchy sound from your straw, it’s an indicator you are out of water and need to top up. And so the process continues… until you reach the end of the water in your very tall thermos!

Traditionally, friends and family used to drink mate from the same cup (not super hygienic given the calabash squash gourd drinking vessel, but it is what it is) and pass it around; one person (the owner of the cup, I think?) would be responsible for topping up the hot water. For home brewing, I’ve read that a lot of people, even in Argentina and Uruguay, will just use a French press or equivalent and steep. That’s probably what I’ll end up doing when I go home.

There are distinct ways of drinking mate in each of the three countries. I’ve read that Uruguayans are the purists; they do not like anything added to their mate. Argentines are much more amenable to additions like mint, tea, and other spices. And in southern Brazil, people enjoy mate as well, and especially like to add a sweetener like honey to it. I can totally see this being delicious, but sacrilegious to Uruguayans! And generally, Uruguayans prefer their mate ground to almost a powder, whereas Argentines like it more rough cut like you’d imagine some varieties of tea leaves.

Mate is the most consumed beverage across Argentina and Uruguay after water. I think that says quite a lot about these countries and their drinking habits. While I do not love it, I really did love observing mate consumption throughout both Montevideo and Buenos Aires, and I loved staring at all the different styles and varieties of mate drinking cups and the bombillas. The bombilla, along with its many variations, is likely the most intriguing straw I’ve ever seen in my life. The version that I liked the most was the metal straw that had a flat spoon-like bottom with little holes to filter out the mate leaves. The part of the straw that you drink from is not rounded like the majority of straws, but instead, it is flat and thin, like a very thin rectangle. I’d imagine it would be a pain to clean, but I guess I don’t have to worry about that since i’m not buying one!

We actually did get two bombillas (the cheaper version, not with the round straw bottom I liked) to take home, which was included in the price of our mate tasting. It’s a cute souvenir, but honestly, I’ll be unlikely to ever use it for mate drinking at home. I’ll just drink it, hot and strained, out of my mug!

Sun protection awareness for babies and young children

This afternoon, I took Kaia to the playground to get some energy out. She said she wanted to take her scooter, so I put her helmet on and took the scooter out with her. Unfortunately (or fortunately for her…), the fountain was on given it was such a hot day, and she immediately made a beeline for the fountain and completely abandoned her scooter. She still had her helmet on, so it provided a little sun protection, but I was getting a bit concerned with how much sun exposure she’d get given she was soaking.

A neighbor came and met me with her husband and six-month-old daughter. Her daughter turned six months just a few days ago and had gotten her six-month vaccinations. The baby is extremely fair-skinned, and her face, neck, arms, and legs were completely exposed to the sun. I asked her if she had any sunscreen or a hat for the baby. She said she thought it was in the stroller but needed to go check. Her husband was pretty indifferent and responded, “Does she really need sunscreen? I don’t think so.”

I couldn’t believe how much he didn’t seem to know; it was borderline embarrassing for me to hear this. I lightly nudged them that they should get a hat on her and put some sunscreen on. She went to grab the hat and sunscreen and started spraying her baby with it. Before six months of age, it’s strongly recommended to keep babies out of direct sunlight and to keep a hat on them to protect their face and eyes. And from six months onward, sunscreen is highly recommended, along with a face/eye cover. They’re so young — they’re just babies. And the sun can be so damaging for them at such an early age. It’s not even just about serious concerns like skin cancer or sunburn, but just keeping their skin looking young, supple, and healthy. I’m in my late 30s now, and even though I am obsessive about sunscreen application, I’m already seen sun damage on my skin in the form of these stupid freckles, which I hate. Now, I always wear a hat to protect my face. I used to resist it because my head would get hot, but now my vanity has overtaken my distaste for a hot head.

I look at my Kaia Pookie’s face, and I just want her to look sweet, cute, and pore-less forever. I love that she’s been more tolerant with my applying sunblock on her. She still doesn’t love it on her face, especially the rubbing in part, but she doesn’t resist me anymore when I apply it on her arms and legs. It’s all progress in the right direction!

Vegan lemon olive oil cake

Vegan baking is not something I ever imagined really getting into while I was in high school or college. I did bake a few vegan brownie recipes while in college because someone I worked with one summer inspired me with her own veganism. But I always thought of vegan baking as annoying because of all the substitutions that have to be made, and how not intuitive it all is. Eggs are typically used as a binder for cakes, cookies, and pancakes, so what do you use in place of them? The two major options in the realm of vegan baking seem to be a) flax egg (1 Tbsp ground flaxseed to 3 Tbsp water), and 2) aquafaba, which is a term for the bean liquid left in a can of garbanzo beans (chickpeas). How do you get buttery or creamy richness without butter or cream? You can use a rich oil like coconut oil or olive oil, or you can make cashew cream with soaked cashews blended with some water.

Once I started reading about all the alternatives, I realized it actually wasn’t that hard after all. But you can’t really just tweak a recipe and make 1:1 substitutes to make it vegan. You really have to start from scratch. And so I had this vegan lemon olive oil cake bookmarked for ages, but I never made it until today. I got inspired to make it after the non-vegan orange olive oil cake was such a hit at Chris’s mom’s cousin’s place a couple months ago, and I wanted to see how I could make a version of that cake but a) not use as much olive oil and b) not use as many eggs, or any eggs at all, as that recipe I originally used calls for a LOT!). All these ingredients can get really expensive. Plus, we’re living in high inflation times. And for baking, I rarely have heavy cream or cream cheese on hand, so it would be nice to get substitutes that are more pantry-based. This recipe had no egg substitute. I wondered if it would really bind together well or if it would totally fall apart. But I had been following this vegan baking blogger for ages, and she had over 68 5-star reviews, so I figured it had to be a pretty good recipe. I also thought it would turn out well when I saw metric measurements noted on her site. Ever since I got my cheap $10 digital kitchen scale, I don’t think I can go back to regular measuring cups for baking anymore. It’s so exact, and it’s just fun!

So I mixed the batter, added it to my greased, parchment-lined loaf pan, and baked it in the oven for 60 minutes. I let it cool and then unmolded it. Then I took it out and had a small slice, and wow – the edge piece was really crunchy, and the lemon and olive oil flavor really came out beautifully. The crumb was very moist and tight — not even a remote sign of falling apart. I used 10 grams less sugar because it just seemed like a lot of sugar, and the cake was just sweet enough to be called dessert.

I’m planning to share this cake with some neighbors, one of whom just had her second baby. I can’t wait to tell them that this cake is vegan!

Today, I learned that regular granulated white sugar in the U.S. is not vegan.

I recently got off the library wait list for the cookbook The Vegan Chinese Kitchen: Recipes and Modern Stories from a Thousand-Year-Old Tradition, by Hannah Che. It recently won the James Beard Award for cookbooks and has been designated one of the best cookbooks of 2022. After just reading the introduction of the book on my Kindle, I found that it wasn’t surprising at all that she won a James Beard award for her writing: she is clearly passionate and obsessed with food in all its most minute details. When she decided to become a vegan, she worried that it would separate her from the traditions and food that her Chinese family celebrated. But then, she learned about zhai cai, the plant-based Chinese cuisine that emphasizes umami-rich ingredients that can be traced back over centuries to Buddhist temple kitchens.

Within just the first chapter, I found that I was not only loving her writing style, but I was learning so much about Chinese terms for food, flavor, and cooking, as well as… things that you’d think I should know about our own food supply, but I definitely do not (and you probably do not, either). Take this, for example: Hannah says she only cooks and bakes with organic white sugar because regular granulated cane sugar in the U.S. is actually processed with bone char. That’s right: animal ingredients are used in the processing of white (and even brown!) sugar in the U.S.! Specific brands like C&H don’t use bone char, which is often known and labeled as “natural carbon), and organic sugars completely ban the use of it. Granted, I’m not sure how other countries bleach their cane sugar to ensure it is white, but this is sadly what the U.S. does that few people are aware of. And if you doubt it, feel free to visit this PETA page that details more about this terrible process. It’s truly a shame and an embarrassment that the most basic processes are kept a secret in our food industry.

Today, at age 38, I learned that regular granulated white sugar in the United States is not vegan. That is absolutely bonkers.