When a substitute teacher comes in and ruins the routine

Kaia’s class currently has four students and two teachers. There is one main teacher and one assistant teacher. The assistant teacher is there to open, while the main teacher is there to close. The assistant teacher was seemingly out today, so she had a sub in her place who we hadn’t met before. When I took a peek on the camera this morning, I noticed my baby with a pacifier in her mouth looking very upset. She had food put in front of her that I packed for her morning snack, but she wasn’t touching it. The spoon and cut kiwi were sitting in front of her, too, but the teacher wasn’t helping her with her food at all. Instead, this substitute teacher was helping feed the other two kids and leaving Kaia to her own devices. I was NOT happy to see this, and was planning to message the assistant director and the teacher to call this out. This was after Kaia had a rough start when Chris dropped her off. She was visibly upset and crying when he left, but she didn’t seem to get much comforting from this sub.

Apparently, Chris saw this on the camera, too, and also wasn’t happy, and as soon as I came back from the gym, he called this out to me and insisted that I speak to the teacher about this at pickup. He seemed even more annoyed than I was. Overall, it was a little comical, but could easily be corrected with some firmer communication, both written and in person, and with the assistant director involved. There were always going to be growing pains, and now, we’re just starting to encounter some on day 3. I am hoping that I don’t have to provide too much more constructive feedback; I definitely do not want to come across as a helicopter parent, but I also want to ensure my baby is getting the same attention that the other kids are getting and not getting neglected just because they know she’s generally a self sufficient eater.

Pickup after the first day of daycare/school

Yesterday early evening, when I came to pick up Kaia from school, she was super excited to see me and immediately started smiling and waving her arms up and down. The teacher had given her some crackers since she seemed hungry, and when I came in, she immediately tried to stuff a cracker into my mouth. My sweet baby is always sharing.

However, I made the mistake of not grabbing the stroller from the stroller room first before going into the classroom, and so I saw her, then went to grab the stroller, and came back. Well, she didn’t handle this well, as she assumed I was once again leaving her, so she started yelling and crying, and the teacher had to try to futilely comfort her. I’m definitely not doing that again today.

I asked the teacher how the day went, and she said it was really good. She said Kaia didn’t eat much of her beets when they were all laid out on the plate for her. This seemed odd to me since she usually gobbles up all her beets and then some. I remember, though, that they basically just dumped all the food from her lunch box onto her plate. And the teacher confirmed she gobbled up all her noodles and meat first and ignored the vegetables. I wasn’t sure if this was an acceptable thing to ask, but figured I’d give it a shot: I asked if she could serve and plate her vegetables first, then after she’s eaten some, then serve her meat/protein/carbs. The teacher said it was a completely reasonable request and that she’d be happy to accommodate it, as well as help her with utensil use.

It’s going to take some time to adjust, of course, but I think the first day and a half have been going as well as they could be. I’ve been told by other parents that daycare can take as long as one to two months to adjust, and it will inevitably have ebbs and flows, with some days when the child is happy to go, and other days when it feels like a death sentence for them. So I’m just trying to go with the flow and ensure she’s as comfortable as possible with meals and snacks she enjoys.

The Pookster’s first day of daycare/school

I got up extra early this morning to prepare Kaia’s breakfast, breakfast/snack for the mid-morning, and shower before taking her to daycare. I made sure she had foods for lunch she would definitely eat at daycare given they are her favorites: roasted carrots, sauteed mushrooms, steamed beets, scallion oil noodles, and warm spiced chicken thighs. I put sliced grapes and some banana cinnamon oatmeal fingers into a Stasher bag for her mid-morning snack at the center. I also packed her a veggie cheddar and apple whole wheat muffin, plus two mandarins for her afternoon snack. Chris and I went to drop her off for her first day and get her belongings organized. She didn’t seem intimidated at all. She immediately started interacting with the other kids and was barely phased when we left. It seemed like she fit in immediately.

I also handled it all pretty well. I didn’t even cry, much to the surprise of myself and some of my colleagues and friends. Even though we didn’t plan this that far out, I guess I have had time to let all this settle in. The Pookster is only getting older and bigger every day, so I can’t keep her under glass forever. I already do have some feedback to share with the teachers, though, as I don’t think Kaia finished all her lunch based on the live video I have access to, and I want them to save whatever she doesn’t eat in her Omiebox so that I know how much she ate. I also think they need to give her more than 25 minutes to eat lunch, as I thought there was supposed to be a full hour allotted for lunch time?

The day before the first day at daycare/school – thankless prep

I spent some of yesterday afternoon labeling all of Kaia’s clothes and random items we need to bring to daycare: blanket, crib sheet, water bottle, utensils, bib, poncho, clothes. I compared all the supplies against the list the director of the daycare provided twice. This afternoon, I spent the entire time cooking and cleaning all the pots and dishes. I made channa masala, scallion oil and noodles, roasted carrots and cauliflower, and roasted warm-spiced chicken thighs. I prepped the food I planned to pack for Kaia for snacks and lunch tomorrow. I packed all the supplies into canvas bags and stored it in the under basket of the stroller already. I felt beyond exhausted by the time dinner time came and Kaia had to be bathed. It was no wonder I ended up going to sleep early with a headache.

At some point yesterday afternoon, Chris asked, “Is there anything else we need to prep for daycare tomorrow?”

“No,” I responded, confused. “I already did everything!”

Being a mom, while very rewarding, can also be very exhausting and completely thankless. Some days, it would be nice to take a total break and just not do anything. In fact, one of my friends who also has kids said that during fights with her spouse, she frequently threatens to not do anything for a whole day (not sure how that actually works out, though. I’m pretty certain knowing her that this is a very empty threat). Then, we can see how the dads survive those days.

Kaia’s first steps – at last

When Kaia was around 10 months old, she started pulling herself up to stand, whether it was on us or along furniture. She started cruising along furniture around the same time, and she was doing it quite quickly as she approached the one-year mark. Given she had no problems sitting up independently, getting into and out of a seated position, and cruising, the doctor said that she’d likely be walking within a month of her appointment in early January.

Well, that didn’t actually happen. Kaia continued cruising and pulling herself up, but she still showed zero interest in actually walking independently. She started using her pusher/walker more around the end of February and got really good with it in March, but still, every time we tried to encourage her to walk, she’d stand for up to a minute on her own and then immediately get down and crawl. She did the same thing when we would walk alongside her, holding her hands and guiding her. She either seemed scared or like she just had zero desire to walk.

So after the doctor suggested early intervention given she wasn’t yet walking independently by 16 months, I started reading more about how to encourage your baby to walk. I found a video that Emma Hubbard posted on YouTube about how to do this; she’s a pediatric occupational therapist from Australia, and I’d previously watched a number of her videos last year when tracking Kaia’s development. She suggested that we not keep Kaia’s arms up when walking with her, but instead, to either have them at her own arm/shoulder level or lower so that she could balance herself properly. In addition, she also suggested leveling baby at her waist, ensuring she’s square on her feet and her hips are firmly in position, then coaxing baby to come forward without holding your hands.

I spent over an hour doing this exactly activity this afternoon. Initially, Kaia resisted. She yelled and refused. She insisted on getting on her hands and knees and crawling. But after encouraging her in both English and Chinese, motioning her to come forward, and insisting she stand, she finally started standing and walking forward. She kept her arms out ahead of her or at her sides to keep her balance, and she would walk forward. At first, it was just four steps. But then four steps became eight, which became 16, which became too many to count at once. She grew faster and faster, and she started enjoying it and giggling nonstop. She then insisted that she continue walking and would even walk independently while clapping at her own efforts. It was the sweetest, most enjoyable afternoon to finally watch my baby reach this milestone.

Kaia still needs practice, of course, and needs to straighten one of her feet, but we can happily thank Emma Hubbard for her tips on how to encourage little bub to walk on her own. I am a very proud mama today. And it’s the last weekday before her first day at daycare/school!

“Hot? Hot?”

I was reading about early childhood development and how by the age of 18 months, children should be able to differentiate “hot” vs. “cold.” But I suppose that’s really only going to be the case if your child is actually exposed to something hot or cold and can compare and contrast the two. Usually, we serve Kaia’s food lukewarm in case it may be too hot for her to handle. But a couple months ago, I thought I would warm it a few extra seconds longer just to have her exposed to warmer foods. It went a little something like this:

I put the slightly warmer food in front of her, and I said, “Kaia, this is hot. Be careful. Wait a bit.”

She touched it and then flinched, realizing it was a higher temperature than she’s used to touching. I said, “Hot! Hot!” a couple more times, and then she realized she had to wait to allow the food to cool before touching and trying to eat it again.

Ever since then, she knows that when we warn her that food is hot, she has to wait to let it cool. Sometimes, she will hesitate to even touch the food when we put it in front of her, first having a quizzical look on her face and asking us, “Hot? Hot?” before she proceeds to dig in. My baby is learning by leaps and bounds.

Daycare/school preparation for little ones: labels, labels, and odd silicone items

A couple years ago, I realized how onerous daycare could be when a few mom friends of mine were posting on their social media about… how literally every single item you bring into the daycare center needs to be labeled, just short of your child. That means every single clothing item (even down to the last sock or shoe) has to be labeled.

So I ordered a bunch of labels with Kaia’s name on them and had them delivered this week. And when putting them on items like her lunch box, water bottle, and clothing, I realized… wait, how do I get these labels to stick on things like her silicone bib or Stasher bags (for her snacks) when the labels explicitly say they are not meant to be put on silicone items?

I tried using a Sharpie and writing Kaia’s name on the back of one of her silicone bibs. After using it twice and washing it by hand both times, the Sharpie ink was already coming off. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do? I immediately texted my friend, who gave me the label company she used to buy her kids’ labels, and she suggested that she could use her label maker and make a few for Kaia to test on the silicone items.

Friends with kids… what would I do without them??

An ode to Ammachy

This past Sunday, we learned that Ammachy, Chris’s maternal grandma, passed away. She was widowed quite early on in her marriage and had three daughters she ended up raising on her own. She worked hard and made sure they had a good childhood, and they all went on to do relatively well in their respective careers and lives. Because she lived in India and never actually moved to Australia, Chris spent less time with her than he did with his paternal grandma. I had seen her on a number of occasions when she’d be in Australia during Christmas time, and Chris and I also went to visit her in the summer of 2018 during our India trip. She was always soft-spoken and thoughtful, and there was never a time when she was not reading a book (always in extra big print because of her vision problem). We were really looking forward to going to India this summer to visit her and finally have her meet Kaia. I really was excited for her to see Kaia, her second great grandchild, and have them interact with each other, but unfortunately, it was not meant to be. Our India trip this summer will now be a bit different than how we had hoped and envisioned.

Although Ammachy has passed, I still think it’s amazing that Chris got to see both his grandmothers live well into his late 30s/early 40s. While it’s sad that she is now gone, it’s comforting to know that she lived a good, full, long life and had many people who loved her and will always remember her.

Music class experience with Pookster

Because of the ex-nanny’s departure, I’ve also been able to take Kaia to the music classes I signed her up for. On Thursday morning, I brought her to Riverside Park for one of the music sessions. Kaia clearly loves music; she clapped and bobbed her head and body along to the music and used her little “instruments” throughout. She also loved attempting to crawl away from the class, and I had to frequently carry her back to the picnic blanket.

The other funny thing to see was what caregivers came to the class. On Thursday, there were seven of us total: three nannies, two mothers, and two grandmas (at least, this is what it looked like to me). And of the strollers, it was a sea of Uppababy Vistas, plus our own Nuna Triv. It’s always comical to me how amongst groups like this, the stroller type is usually quite homogenous and predictable, even down to the accessories on the strollers. The Uppababy Vista is the most popular stroller on the Upper West Side, if not all of New York. It’s ginormous, which is why it’s so popular, but that also makes it nearly impossible to carry up and down stairs or on the subway without at least 2-3 people carrying it. It’s the stroller for you if you are happy with the size, and you never plan to take it outside of your neighborhood without throwing it into a car. It was never the stroller for us, and it always annoyed me to no end when people would give a blanket recommendation for this stroller, even when I explicitly said that I needed something that could travel well and relatively easily on the subway/trains. I occasionally get questions on how we chose our stroller, and I know the question not being asked is, “Why didn’t you get an Uppababy?”

Flutter at Clark Theater, Lincoln Center

This afternoon, I took Kaia to her very first theater performance: Flutter, a performance designed especially for kids ages 6 to 18 months of age, which follows the narrative of the changing seasons through experiential storytelling, innovative puppetry, innovative dance, and original music (that’s from the official description). I had been keeping my eye out for age-appropriate, low cost activities in the area that Kaia could do, and this definitely stood out as being one of the most interesting ones, so I signed her up over a month ago. And in the end, it was a great experience. Not only did she do exactly what the director had hoped, which was interact inside the circle they created and play with the props, dancers, and other kids, but Kaia really hammed it up in general: before the performance even started, she went around the inside of the circle, crawling to each family and saying hi and waving. She traded and fought over toys with certain kids. At least half a dozen parents came up to me after to express how cute and social my baby was.

If our ex-nanny hadn’t quit, I wouldn’t have taken Kaia to her first theater experience. So in more ways than one, the nanny’s sudden departure has actually benefited our family. I got to see Kaia be extremely social and interact in a fun theater environment, and it made me realize even more how much my baby is blossoming into a precocious, outgoing, intelligent tiny human.