After many years of using random “nonstick” pans, Scanpans, “ceramic” coated pans, and stainless steel, I’ve finally decided to give up on ceramic/Scanpan type pans and try carbon steel. Carbon steel is supposed to be a kitchen workhorse in that it’s basically got the power of cast iron without the crazy weight. It retains heat well, just like cast iron, and it’s also great for searing meat and browning. It can go from the stove to the oven and handle up to 600 F. However, the catch is that while they are generally cheaper than the average pan, they do require the same level of maintenance as a cast iron pan. That means… it needs to be seasoned again and again until it’s actually made “nonstick” with all the layers of oil/seasoning, and it needs to be re-seasoned often. The good thing is that because it is so much lighter than cast iron, it’s easier to maneuver and use every day. Unfortunately, in this house, Chris would never be caught seasoning any pan in any way because not only would he have no clue what to do, he has zero interest, so all that work is going to be on me to get us started, as well as to keep us going with these pans to ensure they really do last us a lifetime.

I was told that carbon steel is the material of choice for pans in a restaurant kitchen, and especially for delicate things like making banh cuon or banh xeo. So I’m excited to season my 8-inch and 10-inch pans and get this party started, and finally say goodbye to my crappy Scanpan, which was already replaced by the manufacturer once and is losing its “nonstick” quality. So much for being safer or better made. The quality of Scanpan has really declined over the years, which makes me sad when I think about how much money I paid for those two pans, one of which I already long discarded.

I rarely buy steak to prepare at home because the idea of it never really entices me. The one time I got really excited about buying them was last year when Kaia started solids, and I really wanted her to gnaw on a big juicy hunk of steak herself. Of course, she really enjoyed it and got good iron out of it, and it also, as an added bonus, made for a good photo and video opportunity. We also were gifted a sous vide precision cooker for our wedding, but alas, I’ve only ever used it twice, both times to make steak, and I feel like I’ve found methods using both the oven and a cast iron pan that yield fairly similar, if not just similarly satisfying, results.

This time, I got sirloin steaks on sale at Whole Foods and marinated them Thai-style. I cooked them at a low temperature in the oven for about 25 minutes, then pulled them out and pan-seared them on my cast iron pan for about 90 seconds on each side. Then, I topped the steaks with a Thai tamarind sauce mixed with roasted and pounded ground sticky rice. It was definitely quite satisfying, and I think it’s also telling that Kaia saw the steaks right out of the oven and tried to grab one before they were finished searing. My baby’s appetite is slowly but surely coming back after this little sick spell, and it’s being helped along with homemade Thai style steak.

Pre Kaia’s arrival, Sunday was always the day I did most of the cooking for the week. We’d usually never go anywhere or make plans that day unless it was near home, and I’d focus on food for the week. Then, I’d usually experiment with something new, project-type cooking that would require lots of different ingredients sourced from all over the place, lots of steps, and potentially take hours if not all day. Not much of that type of cooking has happened since she was born, but today almost felt like it. I finally decided that since I saw beef chuck on sale at Whole Foods that I would get to making beef rendang with Auria’s spice blend. I’d had so many rendang packets accumulated, but never got around to making it because I knew that even though she simplified the process by putting all the necessary spices in one pouch, it would still take hours of nursing over the stove and stirring every ten minutes. I decided this was the weekend. I put the oil, water, coconut milk, and spice blend in the Dutch oven. I let it come to a bubble, then added the beef chuck chunks, and then simmered… for FOUR hours. I had to stir it periodically in the beginning, then the last hour, stir every ten minutes, but the result was worth it: it tasted restaurant quality, and it was HOT. I just added some extra sliced makrut lime leaves and salt to the adult portion, and set aside a small bowl for Kaia’s meals this week. I knew it would be good, but I didn’t think that much about HOW good it would be.

On top of the beef rendang, which was already a project, I also made pumpkin spiced mini muffins, quinoa with homemade frozen stock, as well as pessarattu (spiced whole green moong dal pancakes) for the baby, plus white jasmine rice to go with the rendang. That’s five different things in a single day! This was almost like pre-Kaia Sunday cooking, except this time around, I was way more tired. I did all this in between feeding her, pumping, and cleaning. This is really what multi tasking looks like now as a working mom.

I had my friend come over for dinner on Tuesday night so that we could spend time together with Kaia. With a baby now, it’s easier just to have friends come over and hang out. Not to mention with my pumping schedule, I now pump right at dinner time, so it’s harder to go out in the evening. I prepared most of the food the day before, but I got annoyed with my packets of organic chicken thighs from Costco when I realized that my approximately two-lb bags seemed more like they were 1.5 lb. The total packets are supposed to be about six pounds total, and I’m pretty sure this total was less, which was why this packet was so small. After I prepared Tuesday night’s butter chicken, I looked at the pot and saw how little chicken there was, especially since meat always shrinks after cooking. There was no way we’d have any leftover butter chicken after my friend left! I thought. Plus, with my nanny eating some of the food, setting aside a small portion unsalted for Kaia, and the three adults, there was… just a lot of butter chicken sauce and some diced bell pepper left. I felt so disappointed at the end of the night, seeing how little leftover food we had.

That’s the thing about Asians who cook: we aren’t like most Western people. We get excited when we have leftover food. When it’s from a meal out, that means the cost per meal goes down. When it’s from food that you cook, it maximizes the time that you spent cooking that dish. Oh well. Now, I just need to know to double the butter chicken recipe next time and remember to use more chicken.