Category Archives: Contemplations on New York Life

When (dog) poop overtakes New York City

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People in every city love to complain. In New York when locals complain, it’s usually about rats, garbage, the current incompetent mayor, or the insanely high cost of living here (especially in Manhattan). But you know what is even more frustrating than all of those things for me on a day to day basis where it feels like I cannot even go half a block without thinking about it? DOG POOP.

The other day when I was going to pick up Kaia from daycare, the entire sidewalk from building to street was lined with poop that had been smeared by someone — just steps away from the school entrance. It likely could have been that a dog pooped in the middle of the sidewalk, and then random passersby who didn’t notice unknowingly stepped and dragged it everywhere. Getting around it with the stroller on the way home was a challenge: I almost had to push the stroller into the street to avoid the dog poop.

Today during a late afternoon walk, some dog owner left their poop bag, filled with poop, in the middle of the street. The poop gushed out of the bag and everywhere. Many people stepped on it, and the same thing happened as in the above situation: the poop was all over the sidewalk, still soft and smeared everywhere!

It’s impossible to take a leisurely walk on any sidewalk in this city without constantly looking ahead and down on the ground to ensure that I (or the stroller) can avoid stepping in poop at all costs. It’s also frustrating when I am walking with Kaia, and she doesn’t understand what dog poop is and has this (sort of disgusting) curiosity for it: the other day at Riverside Park, she almost shoved her hands into a pile of dog poop! Dog owners can’t control their dogs. They just think they can be careless with their dog’s feces and let everyone else suffer. When and where will the constant presence of dog poop in this city ever end? Or, will it simply takeover New York and drive people like me and Chris (who believes all dogs should be exterminated or eaten) away?

Trendy eats in Koreatown and how I cannot relate – it must be my age!

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So, I’m 38 years old now. Some people say age is nothing more than a number. Most people who meet or see me for the first time would be unlikely to guess my age and usually say a number that is far younger than what I am. But what getting older has made me realize is that my tastes are definitely changing, and the things that may have sparked my interest at age 18 or 28 are oftentimes not going to get me excited at my current age now.

Here’s a case in point: this new Korean “food court” recently opened on the corner of W 32nd Street and Broadway, right across the street from the main Manhattan Koreantown drag. Publications like Eater call it a “food court,” one that is getting a lot of hype right now. It’s been reported that it is attracting lines going down the block. Yet when I walked in, it was NOT what I’d call a food court at all. There was one main stand in the front that had a number of ready-made Korean foods (all the ones you’d guess: bulgogi, japchae, kimchi fried rice, etc.), a second that did coffee drinks, a third that made a trendy Korean “coin” cake that is either filled with nutella or corn cheese. When you go to the second floor, there’s only one stand: you order and pay for your choice of a packaged Korean ramen type, then you go to a number of water machines and add boiling water to a bowl, where you’ll “cook” the ramen.

This is not a food court in any sense of that meaning. This is a hangout spot for cheap, low quality food for tweens and teens. I am never getting food from here, ever.

No laptops in cafes = my heaven

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The biggest complaint I have about cafes in New York City is that for the most part, they are overrun by people on laptops and tablets. Everyone wants a trendy, fun place to sit, use free Wi-Fi, and work. So they go to cafes all over the city, squat at their tables and counters for hours on end, and hog up prime real estate that friends who wish to catch up in a casual environment would like to use — and are unable to use. I have lost count of the number of times I have tried going into a cafe, whether it was to catch up with friends or colleagues, or even to do college alumnae interviews, and I was not able to get a table/seat because of all these laptop users. It completely incenses me. Cafes are supposed to be for a) drinking coffee/tea and small bites, and b) SOCIALIZING.

So when I was pushing Kaia in her stroller around the Upper West Side this early afternoon, I was elated to see that a cafe that had ample seating (and space for the stroller) had a big sign in the front that said: “No laptops on weekends.” No wonder I saw no one with a laptop in there. This was my kind of place! I was too happy to give this place business. And Kaia stayed napping until I at least had my second sip of coffee. It was a good day, and a good find.

Tribeca: the most overrated neighborhood in all of Manhattan

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It was a very grey, cold, rainy day today, so we didn’t go too far, just down to Tribeca for some quick eats before heading home. But as soon as we got off the train and started walking around the neighborhood, I was reminded once again of why I couldn’t stand Tribeca: It’s one of the most pretentious, least diverse parts of all of New York City. The only restaurants worth going to in this area are for fancy tasting menu dinners, and even those that are worth going to in this area are dwindling. Pretty much everyone casually walking around and eating overpriced food is White. People who look like Chris and me contribute heavily to the diversity in this neighborhood. Every decent-looking cafe or restaurant is overcrowded and has a wait. Even in this sad weather, people were sitting outside in the cold, pretending to enjoy themselves with their friends, just because they were giving business to a trendy take-out eatery. This take-out eatery had absolutely no indoor seating, only outdoor (uncovered) seating. Almost all the food was ready made. So when I ordered a sandwich, it was already sitting there on the counter, much to my chagrin; it was NOT being made to order. The cashier just went over to pick it up and hand it over to me as he took my payment. The sandwich was cold. It was sad. Who the heck knows how long it had been sitting there getting soggy? And given it wasn’t made-to-order, it was overpriced and felt like an overpriced, over-hyped version of Pret a Manger or Le Pain Quotidien. Why, just why?

Also, with such proximity to Chinatown from Tribeca, why would I ever go to Tribeca over Chinatown…?!

Mandarin Chinese private immersion school right in our neighborhood

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This morning, we attended a private school program orientation for 2s through 8th grade in our neighborhood. The biggest selling point of this school is that it’s a full immersion program for either Mandarin Chinese or Spanish. I had passed it multiple times during weekend walks in the neighborhood, attempting to get Kaia to fall asleep in her stroller, and so today they hosted an open house. It really was a real school “open house” in the sense that not only did the principal and multiple staff members present and participate, but they even had guest parents (who participate in the parent association) and guest students speak about why their program was so special. And yes, they even had refreshments. The orientation in the gym was about an hour long, and after it concluded, we were whisked onto a 30-minute school tour, one for Spanish immersion, and one for Mandarin immersion. 

It was hard not to be impressed with the school after all the other daycare/school tours we have done, but it felt unfair to compare given the others I had attended were fully just daycares or public schools. The presentations were very comprehensive and well put together. The biggest differentiator with this immersion program is that up to age 3, the kids are 100 percent immersed in Mandarin/Spanish; from ages 3-5, they have instruction in Mandarin/Spanish 90 percent of the time, and it starts going down to 80 percent and then 70 percent in subsequent years as they get into higher elementary/middle school years. No pinyin is taught until second grade for Mandarin, since pinyin is obviously not used for native speakers – I was pretty (pleasantly) surprised to learn this during the tour. It’s mainly introduced to allow the students to use Chromebooks to type Chinese (using pinyin to indicate which characters you want to use). Both Chinese/English are on the walls, so it’s not just spoken that’s constantly reinforced like in the immersion school we saw in Chinatown, but it’s also the written that is emphasized everywhere. From a language enrichment/immersion standpoint, I’d never heard of any program that quite “immersed” children into the “target language” like this. And well, as they said during their presentation, theirs was the only program in the city (if not the country) that approaches language learning in this way. 

And, as you would imagine, the tuition is NOT cheap. The annual tuition is only for the school year, so from September through June. For summer programs, this, of course, would be extra (and would only go until 3pm; if you want “after care,” you will also need to pay for that… because you have to pay… for everything). Well, if you want nice things… 

Kaia’s first real play date outside of daycare

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Yesterday, the three of us met Kaia’s bestie from her class named Jacob and his parents (and their newborn in a sling) and took a trip to the Central Park Zoo together. Jacob’s dad had reached out to Chris, as they usually dropped off the kids together in the morning and had become friendly. We all knew that Kaia and Jacob got along really well and could be seen frequently holding hands and running around class and the multi-purpose room together. While we enjoyed our catch up and seeing the animals together, it was actually a little bittersweet: though the two were close, it seems like a lot of these things have to come to an end, as Jacob and his family would soon be relocating to New Jersey. His parents are under contract with a new house, and with their expanding family, they will need more space. Plus, they’ll also be closer to both sides of their families.

I remember being in pre-school and elementary school and always being sad when a friend moved away and left. You inevitably knew you were never going to see each other again. But I wonder if that even resonates with Kaia and Jacob at their ages. Or who knows: maybe we as parents may loosely keep in touch, and maybe there might actually be future play dates after they move. Only time will tell.

Lunar New Year Day 2024 in Flushing

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The three of us went to Flushing on Saturday, which marked Lunar New Year Day 2024, or year of the dragon. When we got off the train and up to the street level, it was in the middle of a huge Lunar New Year parade, complete with fire crackers and endless music and manual fire crackers being set off. We ended up going to Jiang Nan for our main meal, where we enjoyed a fancy Peking duck with beautiful and delicate house-made pancakes, as well as an accompanying duck, tofu, and vegetable soup made with the bones of our duck. It was likely one of the most delicious and rich broths we’d ever tasted. Even Pookster gobbled up this soup and kept asking for seconds and thirds. She even gnawed the meat off of several duck leg bones.

What was also notable about our visit to Flushing was that we stumbled upon a very discreet and easy-to-overlook Taiwanese bakery. I poked my head in to see what was there, and unfortunately, a lot of seemingly popular items had already sold out since it was mid-afternoon. But I did pick up a loaf of white bread, a Taiwanese-style taro bao (it doesn’t look like the ones I usually get!), and two Taiwanese style pineapple cakes. All of the things we got were incredible: the taro bao was extremely crunchy with just the right amount of sweetness on the outside. The taro filling was light and also not too sweet, but very creamy. And the pineapple cakes were a stunner: super flaky and buttery on the outside, with a thick, chunky pineapple filling on the inside that was jammy with just the right amount of sweetness. This was as close to the incredible pineapple cakes we got while in Taiwan. I was obsessed. I still cannot believe it’s taken me this long to find this place while in New York! Taiwanese bakeries are a rarity here; I hope this place never closes!

Afternoon tea in New York City: Slowly but surely changing

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For as long as I’ve lived in New York City, I’ve never really enjoyed the afternoon tea scene here. It’s massively overpriced for what it is — a glorified dry, crusty sandwich spread with subpar fillings, overhyped British style desserts that are also boring and dry, with a mediocre pot of tea. And it usually has a $100/head sticker price simply because the ambiance and decor of the place appear to have an exterior poshness, and the ceramics that the tea and tiny bites are all served in are supposedly fine or bone china. Regardless, since I did it with a visiting friend in 2022, I’ve decided: no more, never again, and not in this city. I would happily do afternoon tea in Asia, the UK, or Australia, where the afternoon tea spreads are still pricey, but sumptuous and incredible in both the amount and quality of food you get. New York City is just not a city for afternoon tea as hard as it may try.

So I was intrigued when I saw a new Thai dessert place called Sarisa Cafe open in Midtown East that was supposed to be “Thai afternoon tea.” The spread on the tiered dessert tray was fully desserts, but with a pot of blooming tea, it would be $65 for two people, which seemed like a bargain price in the city. So my friend and I went, and while it certainly wasn’t a lot of food (we had eaten lunch before coming here for dessert), the quality of the desserts was top-notch: they have an open kitchen where you can see the workers hand forming and making each individual dessert. The tea spot is tucked away on the second floor of a building and even has an outdoor patio that they plan to open in the summer time. It felt like a tranquil oasis far away from the concrete jungle we were in the middle of. I love the way they decorated the place, and the service was excellent.

So, maybe I will just avoid the “traditional” afternoon tea places, but I am more than happy to try spots like this that are a bit different and add variety to the New York City food scene. This city definitely doesn’t appreciate Thai desserts enough and needs more of an education on this topic, perhaps by spots like Sarisa Cafe.

Shellfish cooking class with political commentary and a white gaze

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Yesterday night, I attended a shellfish cooking class that Chris gifted me for Christmas in Little Italy. It’s funny for me to even say that it’s in “Little Italy” because it’s just about two blocks away from the main Chinatown area I always shop in. I came in a little early and was the only person who was carrying massive canvas bags that were clearly stuffed to the brim with groceries. The teacher looked excited to see that I went shopping.

“Oh, yes! It’s so great to get your shopping done down here! Did you check out Eataly and Despana?” she asked.

I told her that I actually was shopping in Chinatown, and she didn’t have much of a response to that. It was like she had zero awareness that the majority of this surrounding area is NOT actually Italian, but mostly Chinese.

That was the first hint of the “white gaze” that I got even before the class started. I’ve been in a class at this same cooking school with this instructor, and while she certainly is not my favorite teacher, I never knew her to be so political during her classes. She made a number of random jabs at former members of Trump’s cabinet while he was president, and while I got all of them and chuckled a few times, no one else really had much of a reaction. When she made a joke about how incompetent Betsy DeVos was and how it was clear no one was in public school in this class during her reign and I laughed, she looked at me, then around at the other students, and said, “Well, at least one person here has been paying attention to politics!” I didn’t really mind these comments, but I’d imagine other people who might not agree with her would be bothered and caught off guard by these words, especially since this was supposed to be a cooking class.

The annoying parts came when she was talking about the production and farming of some of these types of shellfish, and she made some very big assertions that for seafood like shrimp, we should be buying “only” American shrimp caught in the Gulf because “it’s the best,” and she also made comments about how all farmed shrimp is questionable and produced with the equivalent of slave labor. It seemed like such a pro-American, anti-everywhere else in the world comment, plus she occasionally knocked seafood farms in Asia. First of all, I don’t think that Gulf-caught shrimp would be the undisputed “best” shrimp option one can eat or buy; that sounds not only ignorant, but also just racist against other places that produce it. Secondly, if you really want to have a conversation about slave labor, does she honestly think that the people working in seafood farms and catching “the best” Gulf shrimp are all paid fair wages that would afford them comfortable lives…?

We also talked about the eating of things like mussels and clams. She said that it’s customary, when serving bivalves, to always give diners an empty bowl to put their shells in after they finish. She mentioned how if we were in a country like Vietnam, you could just throw your shells on the floor, and some worker would rush to sweep them all up for you. A number of people (my class was 70% white, with one Asian (me), one Latino guy, and one Black guy) were shocked when the teacher shared this.

“Why?” some of them asked, truly astonished.

“Well, it gives someone a job, so why not?” she said, with a bit of an eye roll. It sounded a bit judgmental, and also disparaging to the Vietnamese businesses in that country for doing this. She also did not give off the tone that she approved of this being a job.

In general, I dislike commentary like this because it is almost always said with a “white gaze” in mind, the notion that the Western or American way is better or “the best,” and it doesn’t factor in cultural nuances at all. Plenty of judgment could equally be made about what we consider suitable jobs here in this country, or how people in different service roles are paid: Why do we have “bus boys” when wait staff could easily clear and clean your table? Why the hell should “front of house staff” have higher wages than “back of house staff” or kitchen staff when the kitchen staff are actually the people preparing diners’ food — you know, the reason people are eating out?!

I highly doubt she would consider the idea that seafood farm practices in countries like New Zealand, Australia, or Finland would yield higher quality seafood than in U.S. surrounding waters, or pay higher wages. I also doubt this instructor has probably ever even visited Oceania to make the statement that Gulf-caught shrimp are the best, just as another point of comparison.

At some point of my life when I was younger, I’m sure I was one of those same smart asses who thought I knew a lot, or at least, way more than I actually did. I have since gradually relented, and now, I’m more eager to say that every day, I realize more and more how little I know as I learn more things (sounds ironic, but it isn’t). But I do try to be intentional about sharing what I know and caveating it, and I rarely will make a statement like, “gulf shrimp is the best in the world” unless I’m just being hyperbolic — the best, according to… her?

Manhattan Chinatown during the Lunar New Year period

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While I always enjoy any Chinatown visit in any city anywhere in the world, I always enjoy visiting Manhattan or Flushing Chinatown during the Lunar New Year period because it makes me happy and reminds me of home. I love seeing all the Lunar New Year flowers, tassels, red envelopes and decorations everywhere (even when I’ve never bought these things, the sheer sight of them gets me excited). I love seeing the different zodiac sign and its caricatures everywhere; this year, it’s the dragon, and there are so many beautiful pictures, signs, paintings, and red envelope designs with the dragon sign on them that you can purchase. It’s also fun to see all the seasonal specialties being sold at bakeries, whether it’s deep-fried sesame balls filled with red bean paste or black sesame paste, fa gao (these cupcake-sized mini sponge cakes that split on the top and are symbolic of good luck and prosperity), nian gao (sweet sticky rice cake usually topped with red dates and white sesame seeds), and all the “trays of togetherness,” — big, round trays filled with various Chinese candies, meant to bring in “sweetness” for the new year. Okay, I’ll be honest: those trays of togetherness are fun to see and are fun to present as gifts because they do appear quite grand. But ugh, I always was so sad when I was little, hoping one of the candy varieties would be something delicious; instead, they were mostly overly sweet, chalky, weirdly chewy things that I never understood anyone could actually enjoy eating. Instead, now I am seeing “updated” or “modern” trays of togetherness that are no longer plastic trays, but wooden trays, filled with homemade, handmade candies… and cost a small fortune. But hey, if you want high quality food and gifts (trays) that last, why not spend the money on these because it will help pave the way to good luck and prosperity for the new year!

This is the first year since… I can’t even remember, when I’ll be hosting a Lunar New Year meal once again, and I’m pretty excited. I’ve already outlined my menu, and I bought a good chunk of the ingredients I’d need for it tonight. That also meant it was like carrying bricks home on my back and shoulders this evening. And it’s not the last Chinatown haul needed, as I’ll need to make at least one more trip closer to the date for fresh produce closer to the date (February 17). But when you think of all the labor and time that goes into devising menus, outlining what ingredients you need to buy and from where, going out to actually get all the ingredients, then organizing everything and cooking, it is no wonder most people today forgo the entire home cooking effort and just outsource everything, whether it’s ordering all this food as takeaway and eating it at home, or just going out for a good new year meal. The sad part about all that, though, is that this means no one would be able to fully comprehend the love, effort, and skill that goes into making these very special dishes. And what is the fun in that?