Monthly Archives: December 2025

To be loved is to be challenged

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My friend, who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for over five months now, has been telling me that he’s getting frustrated with her for being too intense and asked her to be “gentler.” In general, she’s a pretty serious, goal-oriented person, and she tends to say what she thinks and says exactly what she means. With him, he’s used to being indirect, passive, “not rocking the boat.” But to my friend and me, we find that quite boring… and meaningless. There’s no point in causing chaos for the sake of it, but if there’s an important topic that needs to be addressed, then just put on your adult pants and talk. Plus, I don’t think you ever really know or understand anyone unless you know what their real opinions are on topics that truly matter.

I was reflecting on my own relationship with Chris and my past romantic relationships with partners. And when my friend and I were discussing it, I told her that I find Chris to be one of the most annoying and exacerbating people I know… But in some funny way, I actually love that about him. All my previous partners just got so boring and mundane after a while; predictability can be a true snoozer. I love that he challenges me, even when it’s just for the sake of it to be devil’s advocate, because it’s kind of entertaining, plus it makes things more interesting. But I also think that when people challenge you, it kind of forces you to firm up your own stance and ensure you aren’t just full of crap. Plus, the chances are high that if you are having these types of exchanges, you tend to understand the other person more. And we all need a little more understanding.

Here’s a funny and recent case in point: For the last 13-plus years, Chris has constantly made fun of Le Creuset enameled cast iron company I like. He says they are overrated, that Amazon Basics made a $30 version of a Dutch oven (that I was gifted by his aunt and uncle and have used every single week since while we’re in town) that was better and cheaper (Le Creuset equivalent goes for about $430 in comparison), that it was just another dumb brand. He also loves to purposely mispronounce the name and call it “the CREW-sit.” Regardless of what he says, I like them a lot and have admired them for decades, but I was always too cheap to buy one for myself. Plus, the items are SO heavy and would require good storage space; space is a premium in our apartment. Tonight, he had Kaia and me open some early Christmas gifts, and lo and behold, a bright orange Le Creuset box was waiting for me. Inside the box was a gorgeous Marseille-blue 3.5-quart braiser with a dual grill pan lid, so the lid can also be used on the stove, as well!

I stroked the pan and admired its beautiful Marseille blue shade. Then I went to hand wash it and almost immediately used it to cook pork and fennel sausage and mushrooms for tomorrow’s pasta. He knew I would love this thing, but he will never a) stop giving me grief over it and b) stop making fun of the brand and mispronouncing it purposely. He’s my challenging baby.

Kaia’s 4th birthday party at school and all the things it entails

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We asked the teachers to reserve today for Kaia’s early 4th birthday celebration since she will not be at school next week, and so Kaia’s been anticipating her school birthday party for weeks now. Chris organized and put together all the kids’ goodie bags. I pre-ordered her birthday cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine a short walk away from her school and would be responsible for delivering the goodie bags, birthday party snacks, and picking up her helium filled birthday balloons today. I ordered an assorted mix of cupcakes with variations of chocolate and vanilla cake and buttercream. I know Kaia will specifically want the chocolate cupcake with the chocolate frosting. But she specifically asked me to get vanilla cupcakes, as well, because two of her classmates only eat vanilla, she said. My caring Pookie thinks about others even when it’s her own birthday party.

Luckily, my 9:30 call got cancelled today, so I was actually able to do both the balloons and the cupcake pickup earlier in the day to avoid the impending rain in the weather forecast. For the balloons, I went to the same little shop in the Lower East Side that I found last year. The same guy was there to help me. I asked for a hot pink metallic “4” balloon and initially thought that was all I’d get. But then I kept looking at his other balloons and quickly got swayed by a unicorn balloon I knew Kaia would adore. I asked the employee how much the unicorn balloon would be, and when he told me the total for both, I sheepishly checked my wallet to see if I had enough cash. I was annoyed to find out I was exactly one buck short. He clearly didn’t want to deal with a credit card fee, so when I told him I was just a dollar short, he told me not to worry about it, and he handed me the balloons once I gave him the cash. It was win-win for both of us!

Even though Kaia’s school will not be near here next year, I love this little shop, and I love this guy who works here. Both times, he was consistently friendly, helpful, eager to please, and quick. Who knows — I may come all the way down here just to get her future balloons and to support this little shop!

Now, I’m curious to see how her birthday party went, and if she enjoyed the party and the cupcakes. Last year, she was groggy during her birthday party due to a nap, and from jet lag. She also did not like the vanilla cake I got her. But this year, she has chocolate as explicitly requested!

Update: Pookster loved the snacks, cupcakes, and the balloons. She asked to take one of the mini chocolate cupcakes home, and the teachers obliged by putting one into a cup for her to take out with me. But alas, as I was packing up all her goodie bag items into my canvas bag, she accidentally tipped the cup over, and the cupcake fell out upside down onto the floor of the school. And being the practical mother that I am, i took the top (thick!) layer of frosting off and handed it right back to her. A little gross? Yes. But someone had to address the immediate tantrum and fat tears that ensued!

Seven more full days in New York City for the year

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Chris and I did some grocery shopping today, but on the light side, since we have only seven more full days at home before leaving for the rest of the year. When I came back with more vegetables and also another pack of gai lan from Chinatown at the end of the day, he looked at me like I was crazy.

“Did you over buy vegetables? I think we have too much,” Chris said to me skeptically. “We’re leaving next Monday!”

I looked at him and smiled. I told him that we will definitely get through all of this, especially since we have no plans to eat out the next week, plus Kaia is not in afterschool care this week, so she’ll be having a full dinner at home each night. Plus, I do not waste vegetables; if needed, it will go cooked into the freezer. But more likely, it will mean bigger servings of vegetables for everyone, which doesn’t hurt anyone. Plus frankly, whenever I serve our meals, I always put way more vegetables on everyone’s plate than Chris does.

It’s always crazy to think that after our Thanksgiving trip in Europe that about a week later we leave for Australia. But it also makes life more adventurous, exciting, and less boring. And of course, Kaia is looking forward to seeing her Suma and Topa again very soon, and being on a plane once again!