Ever since my dad shared his Costco membership with me this past August, I’ve been so excited. I grew up doing family trips to Costco, so in some ways, my love and attachment to this massive store and corporation is for nostalgic reasons. I even have fond memories of my parents picking me up from the airport when I’d return home from college, and because it would usually be around lunch time, my dad would have a Costco chicken-bake ready for me, stuffed with big chicken chunks, little bits of bacon, cheese, and Caesar dressing, all in a baked crispy bread casing.

But living in Manhattan, there are many challenges to having a Costco membership. The Costcos nearby are not very close — the closest one is in Spanish Harlem, and the second closest one is in Long Island City. The Spanish Harlem location isn’t anywhere as well stocked with the variety that I was used to at the South San Francisco location my parents used to take me to, and it’s also challenge when you live in a relatively small apartment that can’t easily handle, say, 72 rolls of toilet paper, since everything you buy is in bulk from Costco.

I still managed to spend a whopping $177 there today, which I never, ever spend even in two or three weeks on regular groceries at our local grocery stories near the apartment. I guess I did just stock up on the next year and half’s supply of oil and toothpaste, not to mention what is probably the next five year’s worth of turmeric and red pepper flakes, but there’s so much satisfaction in getting good value and high quality at the same time. I know there are haters out there who think that Costco is evil, but you know what… there’s nothing wrong with getting excited about value at a good price in today’s day and age when the gap between the rich and poor is just getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of the time when I took a fashion design course at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in San Francisco one summer, and the designer teaching the class scoffed at all of us for buying our clothes from places like Macy’s or H&M where a t-shirt would cost $10 or a jacket $100. She said that at those prices, they were made with sweatshop labor and that we really should be spending $200 on a t-shirt and $1,000-2,000 on a proper coat to ensure fair wages. Really? Do we all have the budget for that? We’re not all as privileged as she may be with that type of clothing budget.

My friend and I were at dinner tonight discussing the latest house guests that he and his girlfriend hosted. The couple they hosted also brought their ten-month-old baby with them, and so for a long weekend, it was all five of them in my friend’s one-bedroom condo in Long Island City altogether. While my friends were never with the baby alone for too long, they did have many hours when they did babysit the child, and it gave them a quick glimpse into what life as parents would be.

“You can’t just hang out with the kid and check your phone,” my friend said. “It’s like every second you have to be watching him to make sure he doesn’t bang his head or grab something fragile off the table! It changes everything about how you look at the world and everything you’re focused on!”

We both looked at each other with that understanding look of “shit, being a parent is hard.” We can’t be as into ourselves as before. I probably wouldn’t be posting as many Instagram photos of what I am cooking and eating. My friend wouldn’t obsess with his camera and the shots he’s taking as much. We definitely wouldn’t be able to see as many things when we’re traveling because of the needs of a child. All these superficial things would change for us.

I still want children, though. I’m excited for what’s in store in our future… assuming I still have some viable eggs left. I seem like I’m mentally closer to being in that mindset than my friend is after this conversation, though.

It’s one of those sad days where your company takes a different direction, which results in many of your colleagues involuntarily leaving. I can honestly say that I’ve been through a lot of layoffs over the last nine-plus years, one of which directly affected me, but I’ve never felt as sad as I felt today, probably because I never cared as much as I do now — both about the people and the company. We let go of some extremely smart and talented people in our office today.

And because our office in New York is already so small compared to San Francisco, it’ll be a drastically different place to come to work to tomorrow.

Even though Chris would be leaving for a work trip today, I still wanted to make use of the leftover potatoes I had from a few weeks ago and make an egg curry, but I felt it was probably going to be too much food for just me to eat on my own. So I decided to invite two of my friends over to join me. Since I had more company, there were more things I could make, like the garam-masala roasted broccoli and cauliflower dish using my own mixed and roasted garam masala, and the Indian-style roasted eggplant that turned out really good and super spicy. The more people you have, the more variety you can have because more mouths will eat it. Otherwise, I’d be eating egg curry every single day this week.

We’ve been discussing flight plans at work, which also asks questions about what you’re generally passionate about outside of the “work place.” I love preparing food for people, and I really like seeing their reactions to my cooking. I get a kick out of their facial expressions, and oftentimes, even with my closest friends, I’m surprised by what they really really love vs. like. One of my friends who came over tonight said his favorite thing on the table was the mashed eggplant. I wasn’t expecting that at all from him, but I think he said it was because of how many spices there were in it, and how hot it was (it used fresh chilies and chili powder).