Observation days for after school enrichment

Kaia is enrolled at the after school program at her school. In addition to general after school, which is supposed to have a mix of structured activities and homework help, parents also have the option of enrolling kids in specific enrichment programs. These can range from arts, robotics, and musical instrument learning, to sports like tennis or soccer. We enrolled Kaia in chess and soccer. Chess would be good to learn an important game and strategy (this is a game I’ve never actually learned to play!), and soccer would be good for her to learn a team sport. This week, the school has given parents the ability to watch the kids in action with “observation days.” We can show up during the last 15 minutes of the program to see the kids doing their given activity.

I was the first parent to show up at the observation for today’s soccer. About five other parents trickled in. And I’ll be honest: I wasn’t that happy about what I saw. I saw a single adult coach trying to manage over 20 kids of ages ranging from kindergarten to fifth grade. Half the kids were participating in some form and listening, while the other half were goofing off, doing their own silly things (Kaia included, unfortunately). I really think there should’ve been at least one other adult for authority and direction. Being a lone coach amongst this many kids varying in ages is too tough. For the entire 15 minutes I was there, I don’t think I saw Kaia kick the ball even once! Based on what I watched, I am not fully clear she even understands the idea behind soccer, that you need to kick a ball into a net, and on the flip side, you need to prevent the other team from getting the ball into your team’s net!

I think Kaia knew I wasn’t pleased even though I never said anything. On the scoot back home, she occasionally would stop and say, “Mama, I kicked the ball before you came!” That’s my sweet baby for you.

I never played organized sport other than during PE classes. While I found some sports more fun than others, I don’t think anyone would say that I was even remotely athletic. In middle and high school, I used to win competitions for running (sprinting) and for exercises like sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups (abs and arms of steal :). But that was really it for me. So if Kaia isn’t good at any sport, I am definitely not going to be that disappointed. But in the very least, I hope she understands the sports and tries to participate!

Cooking with my Costco and local Vermont goodies

Every time we come back from a road trip, we always make a stop by Costco on our way back to take advantage of having a car. So of course, we come back with the car fully loaded, and I always tell Chris when we get back, “We’re rich!” It feels that way because when your fridge, freezer, and pantry are stocked to the point of nearly overflowing, it really does make you feel rich: you have plenty in a house of plenty in a land of plenty, and that feels very full. It also makes me grateful that we can actually afford to stock up on our staples, as I am very well aware that not everyone has the ability to do this.

In addition to the Costco stocking up we did, we also got way more consumable items in Vermont than I originally imagined: this includes a bottle of local whisky, a bottle of local bourbon, orange wine, chocolate raspberry wine from New Hampshire, and honey mead. The whisky and bourbon we tasted and purchased at the Burlington Farmers Market, the orange wine is from the Shelburne Farmers Market, and the last two bottles are from the fine food and drink marquee at the Stowe Foliage Arts Festival. In addition, we also got local organic chestnut and lion’s mane mushrooms and a brie-style goat cheese at the Burlington Farmers Market, a quart of Very Dark maple syrup and maple balsamic vinaigrette, fancy marshmallows, and chocolate from Adagio Chocolate shop in Middlebury. It was quite a local Vermont food haul! If it wasn’t already clear, I love Vermont!

Today, I spent a good amount of time cooking some of our new foods and ingredients. I seared and sauteed my lion’s mane and chestnut mushrooms; they browned beautifully and have a delicious, earthy, almost nutty flavor. They are almost even a little sweet! We sampled a little of these (Kaia loved the chestnut mushrooms the most!), but I’m planning to use most of them for toast with goat cheese. I sautéed half a pound of spinach from Costco, roasted a pound of brussel sprouts (Costco!), made a maple balsamic roasted salmon with my new vinaigrette from Greens Sugarhouse. I also cooked my last bag of Rancho Gordo Blue Goose Field Peas and some brown rice. And on top of all that, I made my third batch of fresh, homemade soy milk! I always feel good when I’m cooking with new and fresh ingredients. This meal felt like fall to me! Now, all I needed to add was some butternut squash to the mix!

Costco vs. Sam’s Club: A side-by-side comparison in a single day’s visit

Earlier this year, Chris got a cheap Sam’s Club membership through a credit card offer. For wholesale warehouses, I’ve only ever had exposure to Costco since that’s where my parents go. I’ve never even stepped foot into a Sam’s Club or BJ’s, but I’ve heard decent things about both. So today on our way back home from Vermont, we stopped first at a Costco in Massachusetts to buy the bulk of our supplies, and then at a Sam’s Club in Connecticut just to check it out.

Overall on like for like items, what I’ve read about is true: there is a small price difference between same or very-similar items, and Sam’s Club does end up being a little cheaper. I was pleasantly surprised to see the selection of skin and body care products at Sam’s Club; anecdotally speaking on this one visit, I was impressed to see the sheer number of brands and variety of items they had here; the range is undoubtedly larger for this type of product at Sam’s Club than at Costco. If you are interested in Korean skincare, they had at least six different brands represented, which is more than I’ve ever seen at a single Costco location.

It’s partially my brand loyalty to Costco (Costco can do no wrong in my eyes!), but I think I prefer the Costco Kirkland Signature brand and packaging over Member’s Mark. I also like that Costco has especially made and designed products with specific brands that are just for them. My one little “indulgence” I like to get at least once a year is their jumbo-sized four-pack set of Mrs. Meyers’ liquid hand soaps; I love Mrs. Meyers’ soaps! (One of my friends made a comment and said that it’s totally a “me” thing that I would consider soap to be an indulgence given I am such a clean freak, but hey, to each their own!). Some years when we visit Costco, I choose Mrs. Meyers’s standard everyday scents (last year, I found their “Tomato Vine” scent fun). This visit, I got the holiday scent set, which includes apple cider and elderberry (the latter scent is NEW!). The reason these are special for Costco is that the standard liquid soap bottle for Mrs. Meyers is 12.5 oz (370ml) ; these bottles are 16 oz (473ml), so you get 3.5 oz (104ml) more product; you can tell the size difference between the bottles right away if you hold them up side by side! Chris also got the same brand but different style of toilet paper at Sam’s Club, As soon as I opened the packaging and took the toilet rolls out, I could tell immediately these were smaller and inferior to the Costco ones.

Seeing the food similarities and differences was fun. For the meat and seafood, on first glance, the Costcos we’ve visited have had better range and variety, especially for the organic meat and wild-caught seafood. Costco also seems to have higher premium cuts of meat than Sam’s Club did. This Sam’s Club location had a larger variety of farm-raised seafood and “conventional” meat. I also think for packaged food (yes, including lots of highly processed snacks), Sam’s Club had a larger range and more variety within types of items. Overall, I’d say that the Costco snacks lean healthier (lower added sugars, higher protein, lower carbs, etc.). Costco’s variety of coffee and tea is definitely better than Sam’s Club: I don’t think I saw any coffee at Sam’s Club Chris would seriously consider buying. And when I saw that the only packaged tea this Sam’s Club had was Lipton, I knew I could never rely on them to be my wholesale warehouse of choice!

So yes, while for a number of items, it is true that Sam’s Club is cheaper (whether it’s by 10 cents or $1.50 for the same item and quantity), I still think Costco’s average assortment feels more premium and better curated than Sam’s Club. While I appreciate that we have a discounted Sam’s Club membership for a while, I still stand by Costco, Kirkland Signature, and my premium, especially curated source of Mrs. Meyers’ liquid hand soaps… amongst other things. And no one can ever take away my Costco-sized 13.5-lb/6.12kg bag of baking soda, which we really do go through (and which Chris pointed out to me when we got back tonight because our last bag before the one we got today is likely to end by December or January!). I don’t know how anyone properly cleans their homes and laundry without this baking soda bag!!

Plus, if we really have to look at both Costco and Sam’s Club all around, I think it’s pretty obvious that Costco wins as an overall company and employer. After listening to the Costco Acquired podcast episode, my love for them was solidified in STONE. If I could marry a store, it would be COSTCO FOR-EVER.

Oh, and if you were curious: we picked up three things during our Sam’s Club visit: a large 3-pack of nasal saline spray (how riveting!) and two zip-up hoodies for Kaia that she insisted she “needed”: one was Hello Kitty and Friends (the trifecta!), and one was Ariel/The Little Mermaid with little “fins” on the end of the hoodie. Even my sweet little Kaia has embraced Costco and now Sam’s Club!

Vermont: Population density, covered bridges, and maple grading changes

I have lots of fond, delicious, and happy memories of being in Vermont. Back in 2009 (or 2010), I came here for the first time for canoeing, hiking, and the Burlington and Brattleboro towns and farmers market. In 2014, I came here on a stop with Chris and his parents, and we did a Ben & Jerry’s factory tour and tasting, visited the “graveyard” of retired ice cream flavors, and also did a very thorough and delicious tasting of cheeses at Cabot Creamery. Now over 12 years later, Chris and I are back with the Pookster in tow for our autumn leaf peeping long weekend! And we are in luck: the leaves are definitely changing colors. We’ve seen so many gorgeous colors on this trip already!

I started thinking more about the state of Vermont versus New York and California, the two states I am most closely associated with. And as we were driving through Vermont and even in just Middlebury, where we are based during this trip, I thought about how I have always lived in relatively densely populated places, and how living in a place like Vermont would probably feel far too quiet and even borderline spooky for me. California is where I was born and raised and lived for the first 18.5 years of my life; it’s the most populous state in the U.S. New York is the fourth most populous state in the country, with a large chunk of that population in New York City, where I live. Vermont, on the other hand, ranks 49th (out of 50) for total population, and it’s one of the least densely populated states in the country. New York State’s overall population density is about six times Vermont’s; New York City is about 400 times more densely populated than the entire state of Vermont. It’s no wonder everywhere we go here, I marvel at how much open space there seems to be, and how far apart all the houses and buildings are. It’s because relatively speaking, they are all very far apart when compared to anywhere in New York City! The town of Middlebury feels rural, but then to me, perhaps the entire state of Vermont feels rural!

Stereotypically when I think of Vermont, I think of three main things: 1) maple syrup (obviously), 2) dairy and all things related (Cabot Creamery makes some of the best cheese in the country. Plus, I even like their branding and logo), and 3) Bernie Sanders. But when I started reading more about Middlebury, I started thinking more about the local college, Middlebury College, which is a highly ranked liberal arts college here, and all these “covered bridges” I kept seeing pop up as potential tourist stops here. For about a split second during my senior year of college, I considered applying to Middlebury College… that was, until I looked at it on the map and saw how it was in the middle of nowhere. Then, I immediately nixed it. Even at the age of 17, I knew I needed to be in or near a major metropolitan area, otherwise I would go nuts (I still feel this way today, so no wonder I live right in Manhattan). Vermont, the “Green Mountain state,” is also known for its covered bridges. While there used to be about 700 of these peculiar bridges, today, only 100 remain standing. These covered bridges were originally built with large structural wood trusses; their main purpose was to solve for all the endless rivers that are all over the state. The bridges are all quite short; Chris drove across the Halpin bridge yesterday and I walked across it; it took me less than 30 seconds to walk across this tiny covered bridge, built back in 1840. Because these bridges were all wooden, if they were exposed to rain, snow, and freeze-thaw cycles, they would rot pretty quickly. So, the bridge isn’t covered to keep travelers dry; the bridge is covered to keep the bridge dry and protected. This is such an interesting fun fact!

Today, we visited two different farmers markets: Burlington Farmers Market and Shelburne Farmers Market. I had visited the Burlington Farmers Market back in 2009; it has gotten noticeably larger since then! There was a great variety of vendors at both. I always love seeing the local produce and goods at each city and town we visit when we can. At the Burlington Farmers Market, we picked up some local chestnut and lion’s mane mushrooms (they were organic and so fresh and springy!), Vermont goat cheese (loved the taste and texture of this one), “artisanal” marshmallows created by a local pastry chef, a bottle of local bourbon, and a bottle of local whisky. At the Shelburne Farmers Market, we bought a bottle of local orange wine. At both markets, we saw the inevitable vendors selling maple syrup and other maple products, and I noticed that instead of saying “Grade A” or “Grade B” as I had previously seen during my 2009 Burlington Farmers Market trip, the labels said something more descriptive, like “Golden Color,” “Amber Color,” or “Dark Color.” So I made a mental note of this to research this later. In 2015 (so the year after we last visited Vermont), Vermont actually officially overhauled their maple syrup grading system, as “Grade A” vs. “Grade B” was far too confusing (I would agree with this). The old hierarchy that I remember, “Fancy,” Grade A, Grade B, was replaced because darker syrup was not actually lower quality; it just had a stronger flavor. I distinctly remember a colleague who had a spouse from Vermont say that he preferred “Grade B” because it had a stronger maple flavor and was darker in color. But to the average person, “Grade B” sounds like it would be inferior quality to something labeled “Grade A.” Today the grade tells you mainly about color and flavor intensity, which makes more sense immediately. Grade A is all commercially available maple syrup now; this is the default for anything you can buy. “Grade B” does not exist, period.

So, I learned a lot of new things today about the second least populated state in my country! I’m so happy I got an update on Vermont’s maple grading and how it changed in 2015; I feel so much more “in the know” about local Vermont facts, and perhaps more importantly, national food facts now. 🙂

Visiting a kids’ party venue

After exchanging many messages between the family of the child we’d like to do a joint birthday party with, we realized pretty quickly that hosting a party in our respective building lounges probably wouldn’t be a great fit. For one thing, my building lounge does not even allow children’s birthday parties in the lounge (talk about age discrimination to the extreme!). Their lounge fee is 25 percent more than ours; it also requires a mandatory extra cleaning fee that we have to pay. None of those fees includes any real help or coordination; we’d have to do all that work ourselves. It also wouldn’t include any kid entertainment. So when I found this venue in our general neighborhood that basically charged similar fees but included built-in entertainment (a large indoor play gym!), I thought this sounded pretty promising.

I was a little skeptical of the space, as the photos publicly available looked like those wide-angle distorted views that make spaces look far larger than they are. But when I went up there this afternoon to see it in person, it was even bigger than I expected! There’s a very large, open play space and a good entry way for gifts, goodie bags, and coats. From the open floor, there’s a stairway that goes up to a fun loft area that overlooks the play space. This consists of two rooms, one large room for the kids to eat and have cake, and a smaller room for the adults to congregate and hang out. I got a tour by the husband of the husband and wife team who run the place, and he seemed pretty relaxed, but also very informative. I took lots of photos and videos to share with Chris and the other parents, and I left feeling pretty good about this space.

I guess I found a little gem in the neighborhood I would have had zero idea about before. And this is all thanks to ChatGPT!

Planning a joint birthday party

Kaia got invited to a joint birthday party of two classmates later this month. They invited all the friends and family in our entire kindergarten class of 20 kids, and it’s being held at a popular indoor play space in lower Manhattan. As soon as I found out it was joint, I thought this was the most amazing idea: combine two birthday parties so that you reduce the number of parties you require parents to take kids to, thus consolidating schedules, while also decreasing all costs by half. This is win-win for everyone! I immediately started thinking about who else has a birthday close to Kaia’s.

Then at the mid-Autumn Moon picnic on Sunday, a mom who has a kid whose birthday is in late November said she wanted to do a joint birthday because the costs were going up by so much, and I said I wouldn’t mind doing a joint one with Kaia. It would be Kaia’s first real birthday party outside of her class birthday parties, plus her first birthday that Chris’s mom threw, which of course Kaia cannot remember. So I said we’d exchange ideas and figure out a date.

It’s nearly a crime how expensive kids’ birthday parties can be in New York City. Space Club, which is a play space with multiple locations in Brooklyn, charges $990 simply to have a private room for about 90 minutes, and it’s 12 kids maximum. That does not include food, drink, cake, decorations, or goodie bags. It certainly does not include adult food. We tried looking at hosting in our building lounges, but that would require more coordination on the part of us as the parents/hosts.

The research and planning continue. I wonder where we will end up?

Dental visit, sans baby tooth

This afternoon was my first visit to the dentist since my baby tooth finally came out. They asked me questions about how long ago it came out and inspected the gum to make sure there were no tooth fragments still remaining.

“It looks like it was a clean break!” The dental hygienist said to me. “The gum looks healthy and clean, barely like there was even a tooth there before!”

They asked me how it felt, then asked if I’d be interested in having an implant placed in. I figure it wouldn’t hurt to get cost estimates from the insurance on this, so I asked them to contact the insurance to get the full breakdown and send it over to me. I doubt I will end up doing it since the missing tooth isn’t in a visible spot. I also have zero problems eating without it. It was doing so little work all these years as a teeny weeny baby tooth that it really didn’t add any value to my eating life at all.

When I look back on all those years when I was nervous about my baby tooth falling out, I actually find it a little funny. I suppose hindsight is 20/20. And I guess there’s always fear of the unknown, but in this case, I barely even notice that it’s gone. I was scared of a hole in my mouth and how it might make my mouth less efficient. I was also worried about the cost of an implant. But now I realize an implant isn’t even fully necessary where it is. I’ve been eating just fine without this baby tooth there for about two months now, and I have zero concerns. I also told the dentist today that I also don’t have concerns about other teeth shifting as a result of this gap because I’m one of those diligent freaks and wears a lower retainer every single night.

I still have the baby tooth. I will keep it as a long time souvenir to remind me of my weird predicament of having two baby teeth with no adult teeth that ever developed under them. All I have to say is: I really hope Kaia has all her adult teeth develop under her baby teeth!!!

Parenthood: the ultimate test of patience and perseverance

As I sat there with Kaia yesterday evening, struggling through getting her to complete a single page of Chinese strokes, specifically, the “na” (捺) stroke—the sweeping downward-right stroke, I thought about my mom and all the work she put in for me before I even got to kindergarten. Before I entered kindergarten and during my preschool years, my mom had taught me the entire English alphabet. She taught me all the letters, both lower and upper case. She made me write them over and over and over again. Before kindergarten began, I knew how to write all of them on my own, and in relatively good form. In addition to that, she taught me all the numbers and had me do basic addition and subtraction in hopes that I’d be more advanced than my peers. While I was initially more advanced than the majority of them, that quickly ended by the time I reached third grade. Multiplication and division did not come naturally to me; it was a painful and miserable process before I finally understood it. I do not think I was the slowest of the pack, but I was most certainly not the quickest in that realm. The concept of “carrying over” numbers was a true struggle. To this day, my mom can do quicker and better mental math than I could even dream of.

When Kaia started 3K, I did momentarily think that maybe I could model my mom and proactively teach Kaia these things in her 3-4K years. But I thought to myself: she has a real curriculum she is following in her two years of preschool. She’ll be fine! They’re going to teach all of that to her, right?

Wrong. They taught her recognition and sounds. We all know that recognition is not the same thing as applying and writing it all yourself.

We are still struggling with writing the date on each page of homework. I wonder when we will get over this hump. She still does her “9” and “6” backwards. She doesn’t do a real “8” that has two circles on top of each other. She also does not like to do the same thing more than three times, apparently, and then has a total melt down. I have to let her cry it out. Then, I myself have to take a deep breath and try not to yell.

I wonder how much whining, screaming, and crying I did when my mom started the alphabet and numbers with me when I was just three years old. I suppose next time I can ask. But whenever I ask her questions about my childhood, she has only vague recollections and does not remember the details. I cannot blame her for that; that would be 37 years ago now. So maybe through this blog, I can preserve some of these “fun” and truthfully painful memories so that one day when Kaia gets older and she asks me, I can simply reference this blog and tell her what a total brat she was and give very clear, concrete examples. I can also share how many times we had to insist to her that she did not have the option of giving up, that she “can do hard things” about a million times.

Massive kudos to my mom, though, for getting me through all that before formal schooling kicked in for me. I just knew I wouldn’t have the patience to do it with my own kid even though my mom did it with me.

A cooking challenge: whole duck

Last autumn while at Costco, I stumbled upon a whole duck in the refrigerator section. I looked at it and realized it was quite a gem to find a WHOLE DUCK as an option, and for a bargain price of about $3.69/lb! So I decided to add it to our cart… and then was so intimidated by the thought of cooking a whole duck that I left it in the back of the freezer this entire time. The idea of cooking a whole duck has terrified me pretty much my entire cooking life.

So I finally gathered all my courage and yanked my 4.5-lb halal duck out of the back of the freezer and have been thawing it in the fridge since Saturday night. I took it out, drained it, then fully dried it. I decided I would cook it the only way I knew how to, which is Chinese-style. I created a Chinese five spice rub with my Burlap and Barrel five-spice blend (the best!), fresh minced garlic, ginger, salt, and pepper. I rubbed it all over inside and out after pricking the skin all over to allow the fat to render out during the roast. I placed it, uncovered, in our fridge to dry out. I plan to roast it tomorrow afternoon.

Am I terrified of how it will turn out? Yes. I am scared I will overcook the breasts and not achieve crispy skin. I have procrastinated on this long enough, though. And age is supposed to make me wiser, right? I kept trying to get reassurance from ChatGPT Pro, who has been telling me that while I may be a novice to cooking duck, I am certainly no novice cook. I know the usual signs of poultry doneness, whether it’s under or overcooked, etc. I just need to breathe. So tomorrow, I will do a two-temperature roasting, the first at 325 F, then the final blast at 425 F to crisp the skin. I need as many good vibes as possible to ensure I don’t smoke up the whole kitchen from all the duck fat that will be rendered; I read that it can be as much as two to three CUPS of rendered duck fat out of a single bird!! But as all my fitness app trainers have always said: if it doesn’t challenge you, then it won’t change you!

Damaged luggage gets replaced

After our Caribbean trip in late June/early July, our one small checked roller bag did really well from New York to Barbados, St. Lucia, Grenada, Trinidad, with a stopover in Miami on the way back to New York… and then it didn’t make it quite well from MIA to JFK. That’s basically when some luggage handler probably just thought, “Meh! I’ll just toss ’em all on; no big deal!” Welp. That one haul from MIA to JFK resulted in a dent in our hard-shelled roller bag. It was quite sad to us, especially given we just purchased this set late last year.

We never reported it, though, because it’s a small bag and it’s not like it’s unusable; it was more of a cosmetic issue. So we let it go. But then from SFO to ORD on this last trip, our medium roller bag (of the same luggage set!) got dented pretty badly on the same corner. What the hell? It’s almost like these domestic luggage handlers just do not care about carefully placing luggage on conveyer belts and not treating them like rubbish. Maybe all these “new” luggage brands are just built poorly and cheaply, and thus are not meant to be used more than a handful of times? It’s likely a combination of A and B, as sad as that is.

So I reported this luggage as damaged since it was our second time getting a dented bag with American Airlines in just the last few months. They responded right away, evaluated the photos, then offered to replace the bag from a third party luggage company they work with. The replacement is currently being sent via FedEx from some shipment center in Texas. We got the same color as the one that got damaged: rose gold. We shall see if it’s any more (or less…) durable than this last one that got damaged. Oh, and to make matters worse on that one: when trying to zip close this bag when leaving Chicago, I ripped the stupid seam because the zipper got caught on one of my packing pods. I had to ask the hotel for tape to reinforce it just in case; luckily for me, it arrived home fully in tact. So regardless, that luggage is now getting chucked! I do feel bad about more junk being tossed into a landfill somewhere, but now this bag is just unusable.