Watching your child while she’s unaware you’re watching

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The first time we were able to observe Kaia without her knowing was at her first daycare/school, where we had in-class camera access throughout the school day. It was interesting to have that view into how she acts not just with other adults/figures of authority without us there, but also how she mingled with other children of various ages.

When I’m staying at Chris’s parents’ home, there are many times I’ve observed her when she hasn’t been aware. The easiest times are when she’s in the backyard, frolicking, running, and playing with Chris’s mom. She thinks I’m in the kitchen/lounge area cooking or doing work on my computer. And while I am usually doing those things, I often stop and just watch what she’s doing and how they interact with each other.

In the yard, they do things that you’d expect: they’re watering plants, picking up fallen leaves or twigs. Kaia is asking about flowers, and her Suma is quizzing her on colors and shapes. She’s also educating her on types of plants and what different leaves look like. I can hear them through the window discuss the maple leaves falling from their tree, and Kaia is giggling hysterically as she gathers a handful of fresh green maple leaves and starts throwing them about, causing Suma to get flustered and lightly scold her and tell her not to make too much of a mess. When Kaia gets bored of the flora education, she moves on and brings out her Bluey ball and demands that Suma kick the ball. When Suma doesn’t kick the ball hard enough or the “right way,” then Kaia gets mad and demands that she do it again and again and again… until it meets her “standard.”

I was watching them this morning, and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of happiness. I kept staring out at the garden, smiling at them. They were completely oblivious that they were being watched. It was almost like my heart was swelling to see how happy Kaia is to be spending time with her paternal grandma. The concept of “mudita” strikes again. She loves this house, the seemingly endless rooms, the stairs she can run up and down, the large bathrooms and the enormous space compared to our two-bed, two-bathroom Manhattan apartment. She loves seeing her Suma and Topa every day and knowing they will be there. Out of nowhere, she started yelling today, “Suma, I like your house! I LOVE YOUR HOUSE! I LOVE THIS HOUSE!”

I didn’t know that my heart could ever expand as much as it has being a mother. But I feel like it still hasn’t stopped expanding just yet. It feels like there is more love for her and our family to come.

Lack of comfort discussing the elimination of bodily wastes, and Poop and Fart Bingo games!

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Since Kaia was born, Chris and I have had an ongoing discussion about her poops and pees. Pediatricians and all healthcare professionals recommend it for parents to do for their babies since it’s the only way to know what actually went in (because… what goes in must also come out!). This is especially crucial if you are breastfeeding and especially nursing, since with direct breastfeeding, there is no other way to truly measure what the baby consumed. We used to keep a paper log, then a Google spreadsheet log. And then once Kaia turned 14 months of age, we would just have a verbal back and forth about it throughout the day or week. For us, we’re just trying to be good parents and track our child’s inputs and outputs, so we don’t see this being peculiar at all. We never saw it as something we liked or didn’t like to discuss; for us, it seemed like the responsible parent thing to do to ensure our child’s good health.

One funny thing I’ve noticed over the last four years now is that Chris’s parents are very, very uncomfortable with conversations around… the elimination of bodily wastes. It doesn’t matter if it’s pooping, peeing, or farting — they immediately look awkward and embarrassed, and his dad usually tries his best to quickly divert the conversation in another direction. He would shift in his seat, look another way where no one was to avert eye contact, and act as though no poop/pee conversation were happening at all. A number of times, his mom has gotten exasperated by the constant bodily waste conversation that she has exclaimed in many different ways, “My goodness! So much talk about poo and pee all the time! Will you still be keeping tabs on this for Kaia when she’s in her teens and 20s?”

Chris’s and my parents’ generation obviously had very different newborn/child-rearing advice than Chris and I’ve had. Things change and evolve over time, and I think on the surface, they do recognize this and try to follow our lead with most things we do for Kaia. With the poop/pee talk, there’s zero chance they could try to get us to stop it even if they wanted to because we’ll do what we need to do to ensure our child is healthy, nourished, and having the appropriate outputs in a day. It’s more just amusing to me how some people are so uncomfortable with actions that need to be done by all of us every single day, multiple times a day. It’s true that none of us really needs an audience there when we’re on the toilet or farting. But with child rearing, the conversation does need to be had. It gets even more hilarious because Chris and I comment now on how big and stinky her poops can be (this is physical proof that she eats a varied, well-rounded diet!) as well as how long her pees are, and his parents think we’re a little crazy about this. We also tell them how she loves to see her poops and peer closely into the toilet bowl after. And she loves to get reactions from me yelling out in Chinese, “What a big poop!” Sometimes, she even insists that I come over to see it when Chris is in charge of wiping her and going through the hand-washing motion together.

I thought about his parents’ lack of comfort around all things toilet related when we were browsing a shop along Chapel Street in South Yarra today, and we came across these games called “Poop Bingo and “Fart Bingo.” The Bingos are geared for playing with kids, and they are exactly what you expect them to be: they show you caricatures of animals and their different types of poop, as well as… what may come out of an animal’s anus when they fart (apparently, those potential… things that can come out are not technically poop!). I jokingly suggested to Chris that we buy them to play with his parents, and he chuckled and thought it could be funny. The better (and cheaper) side of me decided not to get it because the amusement would be short-lived, and they might play it once or twice with us and then stop. That probably would not be the greatest ROI (return on investment) on a gift.

My once-a-year catch-up with an Instagram friend in Melbourne

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After we returned from Wellington this afternoon, I went to go meet an Instagram friend for dinner at a popular Italian restaurant near Chris’s parents’ house. Chris’s parents had already been, and they said that an Italian client of Chris’s dad, originally from Rome, declared that it was one of the best Italian restaurants in the area. So that just added to my expectations for how good this place was going to be (not to mention that my Instagram friend is a huge foodie, so I figured she would have good judgment in choosing a spot!).

Usually, I am a bit wary of Italian restaurants because so many just have generic offerings, but given it’s a popular and “neutral” cuisine, the prices are always jacked up. This spot, Cucina & Co., was anything but generic. We shared a pear, rocket (arugula), and grana padano salad; eggplant parmigiana; spaghetti ai fruitti de mare (seafood spaghetti); the zucotta pizza (mashed pumpkin, buffalo mozzarella, sausage, thyme). We ended with a scoop each of gelato — she had chocolate while I had pistachio. And every single thing we got was just amazing. The pear and rocket salad was so fresh it seemed like everything was picked just before we ordered it; the spaghetti Napoli sauce was so addictive that I almost wanted to lick the plate, plus the seafood was perfectly cooked and fresh. The pizza was delicious as expected, but what shocked me the most was the eggplant parmigiana starter. Eggplant parmigiana has always felt hit or miss (mostly miss) to me. Most of the time, the eggplant layers are too thick, and the tomato sauce tastes bland. But this rendition had super thin layers of eggplant that pretty much just melted in your mouth. This was the best eggplant parmigiana I’d ever had in my life — I can say this for certain! And the ending of pistachio gelato was so rich, thick, and decadent: it tasted like loads of toasted and pureed pistachios mixed in with cream, milk, and sugar. All of that, plus two lemon and lime bitters drinks, and we spent only $45 USD each — what a bargain; that would never happen in New York City.

I met this Instagram friend during the pandemic when we each had our respective food channels on YouTube, and we were trying to build our Instagram presence. I messaged her out of the blue because I saw she was based in Melbourne, and we just started messaging on and off and clicked. We both love food (duh) and travel; she was married to a Sri Lankan while I was married to another brown guy with origins in India. 🙂 She’s a year younger than me, and after we started chatting, she gave birth in June 2021 to her baby boy. Kaia was born six months after that. So it felt like even though we were from very different parts of the world leading different lives that we had a lot in common. Since December 2022 when we came back post-pandemic, we met up with our babies; then in December 2023, we met at a children’s play museum with our kids, but given it was a museum, it was hard to have a real adult conversation since we were chasing our kids around everywhere. In December 2024, we had a Greek dinner catch up, and now we’ve met again for the fourth year in a row, also sans kids. We both get along really well and have a lot of opinions in common. She’s the kind of friend who, if we lived closer to each other, I’d imagine myself seeing fairly regularly. And of course, it helps that she loves to eat (and cook)!

I love having a friend down here I can meet up with that is separate from Chris’s people. I also love that I’ve made a couple friends through Instagram over the years. I have another Instagram “friend” who is based in Sydney. She doesn’t get out of Sydney much, but she told me that if I’m ever up there for a side trip that she’d love to have a meal with me. If we go back to Sydney, I’d definitely want to take her up on her offer because she does all the “project” cooking that I wish I had more time to do!

Martinborough wine and pizza and Putangirua Pinnacles Scenic Reserve

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Today, we drove about an hour northeast of Wellington to the famous Martinborough wine region of New Zealand. While globally, Marlborough in the South Island is renowned for its sauvignon blanc, which is the region’s most famous export (and it’s pretty darn delicious — it really is just as vibrant, zesty, and crisp as it is described to be!), Martinborough in the North Island is known for its pinot noir. But the region also produces delicious and notable chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, pinot gris, and syrah. We visited the Nga Waka Winery, where we tasted some local pinot noirs and chardonnays, and also enjoyed their Napoletana style “Roving Pizza.”

We chose their pizza special of the day, which was mortadella, fior di latte mozzarella (‘flower of the milk” variety that is made using cow’s milk in the same style as buffalo mozzarella), crushed pistachios, lots of garlic, and fresh basil. We pretty much inhaled that pizza — it had the perfect crust, perfect cheese, a ton of intense garlic which I loved, and almost had an addictive quality. When I have pizzas like this that are unquestionably incredible and perfect, it always reminds me of how people love to make absolute statements like, “the best pizza in the world is in New York/New Jersey/Connecticut/Italy.” I think if those people had this pizza at Nga Waka Winery that they would be lying if they said they could get better pizza in any of those places than this. I left this winery wondering if we’d have even just an “okay” level meal while in New Zealand this time around, and so far after five out of six days, i would say that the answer to that is negative.

After our tasting and pizza/calamari lunch, we headed towards Putangirua Pinnacles Scenic Reserve for a hike. Putangirua Pinnacles are some of the best earth pillar formations in New Zealand. The last time we saw earth pillar formations, also known as hoodoos, was at Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah, back in the U.S. Bryce Canyon is known for having the largest collection of hoodoos in the world; this scenic reserve would not have the largest collection or the tallest hoodoos, but they’d still be fascinating to visit, and we’d also get some exercise on the way there! The history behind these hoodoos is that about seven million years ago, the Aorangi Range was an island. As the mountains eroded, gravel was washed down to the coast, where they formed a sedimentary layer. Over the last 120,000 years, the Putangirua Stream exposed this ancient layer of gravel to the erosive forces of rain and floods. Some of the sediments stayed concreted together, while others washed away. The result is the Putangirua Pinnacles, often called “an amazing collection of hoodoos.” This area was used as a filming location for the “Paths of the Dead” scene in Return of the King, the third movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Somehow, we managed to get Kaia to hike the entire two-hour round-trip hike without much whining and whinging at all. The only times she had to be carried by Chris were when we had to cross little streams on rocks, and she was afraid she would fall in. She did amazingly well, and even when she stumbled a few times and fell, she still kept soldiering on, despite a lot of uneven terrain and a lot of uphill steps and climbing. We were so proud of her when we all made it up to the top, and even more so when she went all the way down and still did it independently without demanding.to stop and be carried.

This is our third time to New Zealand together, and I felt a little sad as we came to the end of today, which is our last full day here before we fly back to Melbourne tomorrow afternoon. New Zealand is this beautiful country made of volcanic islands that seems like there’s always so much to see and so little time. But I guess that just means that there is always next time. And since I paid the $100 NZD conservation fee (Chris and Pookster didn’t have to pay since they have Australian passports) on top of my nominal ETA fee, which lasts two years, maybe we should come back again soon!

Berry picking continued, plus kiwi hospitality and friendliness

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We drove up from Wellington towards Palmerston North today. It’s a city that has history within Chris’s family since his uncle went to college there (he studied food technology; I clearly went on the wrong educational path…). And during that time, Chris’s dad visited him and did some physical labor I had no idea about (and would be hard to imagine if you knew him as he is today!) in order to fund his travels. For his first day, he tried to carry hay barrels and quit after one shift (it was physically grueling and intense, to say the least). Then, he proceeded to spend about six weeks, six days a week, about eight hours a day, picking strawberries. I cannot imagine Chris’s dad picking fruit all day, any day — ever!

Since Chris’s cousin’s husband is originally from Palmerston North, Chris asked him for suggestions on what to do. He pointed us to the Levin Adventure Park, a humongous outdoor playground with play areas for kids of multiple age ranges, and could even keep adults (like me!) entertained. The space was so well appointed that it even had clean public restrooms that were attended to regularly, plus an indoor picnicking area in the event of inclement weather.

Chris’s cousin’s husband also suggested we look into blueberry farms, since the area was known for them, and we were coming at peak blueberry season. So amazingly, Chris actually took us to a blueberry farm for pick-your-own! He has always been anti fruit picking (e.g. “Why am I paying to pick? It’s like I am paying to do work!!”), but he said that this was not apple picking (which he absolutely detests because in the Northeast of the U.S. once fall comes, this is what every family seems to do), and if we were going to do some fruit picking, it better be something as good as berries and in a place as beautiful as New Zealand. So, I suppose those are all fair points to make. When we arrived at the farm, Kaia was napping and very unhappy to be woken up. We plopped her on a chair overlooking the blueberry shrubs and said if she wanted to join us, she could. It took all of five minutes for her to ask to enter the picking area. Here, the owners said we could taste but “no free lunches,” so unfortunately for Kaia, she was blocked from tasting as much as she wanted. But she still enjoyed the experience and loved picking every single blueberry and happily dropping them into our bucket.

When the time came to weigh the blueberries and pay, I realized that credit card would not be accepted, and so Chris ended up driving about five minutes away to find the nearest ATM. When I explained this to the owner when I asked if she could hold my bucket of blueberries, she asked where Chris had gone, she looked at me as though I were crazy. Knowing we traveled all the way from New York to come here, she told me, “What?! No! That’s ridiculous – just for less than a kilo of blueberries?! That drive isn’t worth it!” And then she tried to tell me I could have almost a kilo of blueberries we picked for free!

“Ohmigosh — please, no, no, no!” I exclaimed to her, equally shocked by her generosity and kind gesture. “My husband already left to find an ATM. Plus, there is no way I am going to be the annoying American who stole blueberries from your farm!” She smiled at this.

While we waited for Chris to come back, we had some conversation, discussed the farm, her bed and breakfast right behind. She even entertained Kaia with puzzles and asking her about herself. It was really sweet, and I could just tell she genuinely enjoyed interacting with Kaia and must love kids. These are the types of interactions you tend to get overseas, when you’re not in the U.S., but you’re in small towns and in places where people are genuinely well meaning, warm, and kind hearted. New Zealanders/kiwis are known for their friendliness, and even though I didn’t take her up on her offer to get free blueberries, I truly appreciated the generosity and kindness she extended to us.

I always get a little sad when people are so distrustful. Of course I am old enough now to understand where those sentiments stem from. But in all the times I’ve traveled, 9.5 times out ten, I am greeted by warmth and kindness from total strangers. Traveling has made me more positive about the world even when things back home feel really like they are crumbling. These little moments are times I will always remember.

Day trip to Nelson in the South Island, New Zealand

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Today, we took a quick 40-minute flight from the lower tip of the North Island in Wellington down to the northern tip of the South Island in Nelson. Kaia is very into all modes of transport, but she especially gets excited when we tell her we’re going to get on a plane. Now, she asks deeper questions, like what type of plane are we on? Granted, she’s not necessarily looking for answers like Airbus A380 or the Boeing 787 (aka the Dreamliner), but she does want to know if she’s on a small plane, a medium plane, or a big plane. She insists, as usual, that “I want the big one!” because she wants her own luxurious seat with her own TV and headset. Those are top concerns while flying for the Kaia Pookie now. In this specific case, she was not particularly pleased that we would be on a “small plane” and that she’d have no TV. Boo hoo.

Once again, we didn’t have to go through any security in the Wellington domestic terminal to board our quick flight to Nelson. Given it was a day trip, we also didn’t have much with us other than my purse and a canvas bag. When we arrived, Chris’s cousin came to greet and pick us up at the airport, and off we went on a full day’s itinerary lovingly planned by her.

We started our Nelson day trip at Pic’s Peanut Butter World. I always enjoyed peanut butter, but my love for peanut butter only came about once I discovered Massachusetts’s based Teddie Peanut Butter while I was in college in that state. In my opinion, their peanut butter is the best peanut butter I’ve ever had — the peanuts have a really well rounded flavor, and it has (what I consider to be) the perfect amount of salt — not too much, not too little, but just right! So when I heard Chris’s cousin and husband raving about Pic’s, of course I was intrigued, but I was also skeptical. I’d never been on a peanut butter factory tour, and obviously I’d welcome the opportunity. So we went altogether today with his cousin, her husband, and their baby, and we had the full experience. This included a guided tour, seeing the peanut butter factory line in action, and reading a lot of fun facts about both Pic’s and peanut butter in general. The tour ended with a tasting of a selection of their peanut butters and honey. And when we finally tasted the standard peanut butter with 0.5% salt (that’s their default), I tasted it… and I came to the quick conclusion that Teddie was still my number one peanut butter. There was no way Pic’s was going to dethrone Teddie for me. Since Chris’s cousin got us a family pass, it included two jars of peanut butter (styles of our choice out of three). So I definitely was going to take them home and eventually eat them. But even after this, I have yet to taste better peanut butter in the world than my beloved Teddie. That is all.

We stopped for some views and coffee in Mapua, then headed over to Moutere Hills Cellar Door for a winery lunch his cousins had booked us. We enjoyed a really delicious slow cooked New Zealand lamb shoulder with seasonal vegetables (New Zealand lamb in New Zealand was definitely on the to-do list while here!), and Chris enjoyed his glass of local reserve chardonnay so much that he decided to buy a bottle to bring back to Melbourne.

Then we had a real treat and surprise I was not expecting: Chris’s cousin organized a private berry picking experience for us. The usual berry farm they go to had shut down, but she wanted us to have the full local Nelson experience with berry picking given our trip was timed during the short window when the berries would be ripening. Unfortunately, the place she found said they wouldn’t be opening for another five days. She direct messaged the business on Instagram, telling them she had family visiting from New York City who would really, really enjoy a local New Zealand berry picking experience. Incredibly days later, the owner responded and said we could all come! But she noted that since we’d be about a week early, there wouldn’t be as much ripe fruit as we’d like. Chris’s cousin took that chance, and we went!

The farm was ripe with boysenberries and raspberries, and we managed to fill two punnets of both of these delicious berries. Boysenberries were particularly a treat for us: even though they are a hybrid berry originally created in the U.S. (it’s a blackberry, raspberry, dewberry, and a loganberry!), boysenberries are pretty much unheard of and unseen there unless you are lucky and manage to find a boysenberry jam jar. You see it more often in jams and ice creams in Australia and New Zealand, though, and I got so excited that we were actually going to pick these berries today! The owner came out and gave us a mini lesson on boysenberries: they need to be super dark reddish purple, almost black to be ripe and sweet. For these, you’d know if they were ready for sure if they came off easy when you pull them off. The red ones were NOT ready to be picked and would be too tart. Kaia had a field day eating endless berries right off the bushes and helping us fill the punnets. I loved seeing how excited she was, eagerly plucking the berries off the bushes and greedily shoveling them into her mouth. And she got an even bigger treat at the end: this farm specializes in “fresh fruit ice cream,” so soft serve with the fresh farm fruit blended in, so she got to have a cone of boysenberry fresh fruit ice cream — it was so creamy, fruity, and utterly delicious. We also picked raspberries, but this was slower given far less berries were ready: most of the ripe raspberries were higher up on the shrubs and a bit harder to reach (especially for Kaia). I was actually surprised when comparing the raspberries to the boysenberries. I initially just assumed both berries were just as delicate as each other. Yet somehow after picking so many of each, I quickly realized that boysenberries were definitely far more delicate and easier to break/get squished. I guess that’s why boysenberries are usually used in jams and pies, and not easily sold in grocery stores or supermarkets.

We ended the day with a visit to Chris’s cousins’ home before being whisked back to the airport to catch our flight back to Wellington. Kaia enjoyed her time with her little baby cousin, and because Chris’s cousin packed us our freshly picked berries, she also has more fruits of her labor to enjoy the next few days. It was so fun to have a day trip fully planned and coordinated by Chris’s cousin, inclusive of transportation! It really was a treat to see how beautiful the northern tip of the South Island is — the view from their deck was so beautiful and serene. It was the complete opposite of the view from our windows in our Upper West Side high-rise apartment, where all you see is a concrete jungle with endless traffic below you.

Excellent coffee and pastries, Te Kopahou Reserve, and New Zealand Parliament buildings

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We started the day today with excellent scone, croissant, and coffee at Extra Extra Caffetteria around the corner from our hotel, and then we proceeded onto Te Kopahou Reserve, which is on the south coast of Wellington. It’s quite rocky and rugged. We walked along the rocks for quite some time with Kaia without a stroller, and amazingly she walked the entire way with no fuss. She actually loved the walk quite a lot because it had some of her favorite things: rocks, endless sticks, and sea water! We stopped a lot to let her dig her hands into the rocks and water. She dug endless holes, threw pebbles into the waves, and poked her long sticks everywhere. And like me, when we got to more sandy areas, Pookster delighted in searching for shells. We got lucky and found some beautiful pearly abalone shells that were mostly in tact, but the laws are quite strict here in that you cannot remove anything – rocks, shells, plants — from the reserve. So I had to insist to Pookster many times that we had to leave the shells behind “for other people” to enjoy. It reminded me of a book I read recently that mentioned how young children are just innately drawn to nature: they love rocks, soil, greenery, water, sand. Anything that physically immerses their bodies into the earth keeps them happy and interested. And Kaia certainly loves digging her hands into sand, dirt, and rocks! She could easily have spent the entire day amusing herself in that one spot with the teeny tiny waves, teeny tiny pebbles and rocks.

In the afternoon, we went to visit the Beehive, aka New Zealand Parliament, and did an official tour inside. There were a few things I really enjoyed about Kiwi Parliament: a) you can park just outside the buildings, so it just feels very casual like any other office (this would never, ever, ever happen in the U.S.); b) former prime minister Jacinda Ardern (aka one of the most incredible women on earth) inaugurated an official children’s play space RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICIAL PARLIAMENT BUILDING. It’s this tall, windy slide that has a fun, modern, sleek, organic design that you can walk up and slide down — even I loved going up and down the slide as an adult! And then c) I really loved the Maori design elements throughout the interior of the Parliament buildings. There are doorways, paintings, sculptures – all hand carved or painted, and even inlaid with paua (aka abalone) shells in them. As a comparison, I could never imagine any Native American tribe being represented in the Capitol Building or at the White House in the U.S. There’s genuine respect for Maori culture in New Zealand… there’s really no respect at all for indigenous peoples of the U.S.

Third time in one of the most beautiful countries on earth – New Zealand

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In December 2013 on my second visit to Australia, Chris and I took a side trip to Queenstown and Christchurch, New Zealand, in the South Island, visiting spectacular places in between, and we did a day trip to Milford Sound. Four years later in September 2017, we did a second trip to New Zealand together, but this time to the North Island, and visited Auckland, Rotorua, and the surrounds. That was as a side trip to Hamilton Island up in Queensland, Australia, for his cousin’s wedding. And today, we flew into Wellington on the southern tip of the North Island, to explore this area, with a planned day trip to Nelson in the South Island on Tuesday to visit his cousin, her husband, and their baby. I feel lucky to have visited this gorgeous country three times now. We’ve been lucky and privileged to visit a lot of beautiful places in the world, but no matter where else we go, New Zealand is always on top of the list for one of the most beautiful places on earth to me. It has this combination of stunning mountains, pristine, almost electric blue waters, and bright, colorful flora that just make almost everywhere you go outside of major urban areas feel like they could all be postcard snapshots. While I enjoyed our Auckland/Rotorua trip, our first trip here to Queenstown and Christchurch in the South Island remains the most picturesque visit in my memory. I couldn’t get over the color of the water, the varying shades of deep purple of my favorite mountain-esque lupine flowers, and the mountains covered in show — all against endless bright green.

Many of the places that I think to be the most beautiful on earth are marred by being very volcanic… and thus susceptible to earthquakes given they exist on fault lines. I still remember the chills I felt when we visited Christchurch in December 2013 and saw all the damage that still remained from the 2011 earthquakes that hit them. One hundred eighty five people died in that earthquake, and many important buildings were destroyed and became a bunch of rubble. I remember this indoor theater that went down to the ground… but the entire seating area was exposed to the air. Crumbled cement was still everywhere and in massive piles.

Wellington is the capital of New Zealand, the third largest city by population in the country. It’s often nicknamed as “Windy Welly” because it’s the windiest major city in the world. It’s located in the “Roaring Forties,” right in the pathway of the strong, consistent westerly winds found in the Southern Hemisphere, and the funneling effect of the Cook Strait; it experiences average wind speeds of 22 km/h (17 mph). We experienced the crazy gusty wind already within a day: we’ve had some close calls with losing our hats amongst all three of us! There’s a reason people say that when you coming to Wellington, you may want to leave your umbrellas and hats behind.

Wellington is also considered a cultural capital of New Zealand because of its eclectic dining scene and strong cafe culture. The quality of their coffee is often compared to Melbourne’s, which is widely known for making very good coffee. Wellington also has a lot of notable breweries and is just an hour-plus drive from Martinborough, a famous wine region in the North Island particularly known for pinot noir. Our first meal here was at a Vietnamese restaurant, where we had a really delicious Hanoi-style pho (the beef is marinated and cooked separately, then dunked into the hot broth, unlike southern style pho, where the meats are mostly raw and unseasoned, then added to the broth to be cooked), a duck stuffed banh xeo (highly unusual to have duck in a banh xeo, but very welcome!), bo luc lac (Vietnamese shaking beef – likely one of the best versions we’ve ever had). We also had a Vietnamese iced coffee and an egg coffee, which so super indulgent, thick, and rich that it was pretty much like a caffeinated dessert.

After our first meal here and first caffeine, I had a feeling that this segment of our trip is going to be particularly delicious. But then it got even better because after lunch, we went to Kaffee Eis for a gelato stop, where we shared a cup of feijoa and Black Doris plum sorbet! Black Doris plum is a local plum to New Zealand, and while that was delicious, for me the real star of the show was feijoa. Feijoa is also known as a pineapple guava and is New Zealand’s unofficial national fruit. It’s native to South America, where we’ve had it, and so it was funny when we found out how beloved it was here. It’s not easily available in markets, and we heard that most people just grow it in their backyards! The flavor is very much like guava but with hints of pineapple, hence it also being called a pineapple guava. The outside of the fruit is smooth and green like a guava, and the inside is an off-white, beige-like color with lots of seeds. The pulp is almost like jelly. This feijoa sorbet was just like the fruit, just blended with some sugar added to it. It was like pure frozen blended exotic feijoa bliss.

Security in Australia and New Zealand vs. the U.S.

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I’ve only ever lived in the U.S. across three different cities. i had only one flight before 9/11, which means that the idea of not going through a security checkpoint before reaching an airport gate is a pretty foreign or unknown concept to me. When we went to Thursday night’s Wankernomics show at Hamer Hall, which is the largest indoor venue at the Arts Centre Melbourne, I felt a little bit weird entering the concert hall and not going through any kind of security whatsoever. There was no line to get in. There were no metal detectors or security guards to pat you down or go through your purses and bags. There were people selling refreshments at the food stands, and of course employees checking tickets when you entered the actual performance area. But that was it.

Chris went to go buy some drinks for us, and I just stood there in amazement, watching dozens and dozens of people entering this huge concert hall — chatting, laughing, eating, sipping drinks — completely carefree. They have no idea how lucky they are to just assume that they will be safe, that there’s no reason to have a metal detector or a security check to enter the facility, that no one could come in with a deadly weapon. I even commented on this to Chris, and he kind of chuckled and just said, “Yeah, we’re not in the U.S. There aren’t guns here.”

It also made me think of doing domestic flights within Australia. Every time we’ve done this, I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to obsess about liquid bottles being under 100ml, which also means that if we are traveling to a popular wine region, we can actually buy and bring back to Melbourne a bottle of wine or two, all in our carry-on luggage. There are no liquid limits. When we enter the airport in Australia for domestic travel, there is a security check, but in New Zealand, you can just walk on in to the gate, and you’re pretty much all set to just show your boarding pass and walk on the plane! People just wait right at the gate to greet their loved ones! That is like the U.S. pre-9/11!

Everyone’s “normal” is very different. My “normal” of going to a U.S. airport for a domestic flight is very different vs. an Australian or New Zealander boarding a domestic flight in their respective countries. My experience of entering a major performing arts venue will also be very different than theirs. I kind of laughed in my head at my surprise/shock of going through Hamer Hall and not dealing with security… because it made me realize how American I am, how I just assume that society in general is low-trust, and that doing a metal detector/security check should probably just be done. But that experience is the only experience I’ve known to date (since the Wankernomics performance is the only show I’ve been to outside of the U.S. that I can recall), and once again, you know what you know, and you don”t know what you are not yet exposed to.

Melbourne: a Vietnamese food mecca, and when I get my Vietnamese food/bakery fix

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Over the last ten years, I’ve been really excited to see how modern Vietnamese restaurants have spread throughout New York City. Most of these spots are owned and operated by second and third generation Vietnamese Americans who saw the lack of really good Vietnamese options in this great city, and wanted to solve for that. While I love these restaurants, they unfortunately have not filled in the gap for Vietnamese bakeries. The mere concept of “Vietnamese bakery” is very, very foreign in New York City, which is odd given how diverse the population there is. The closest thing I have seen to a “Vietnamese bakery” in terms of selection of both (“Asian sweet”) sweet and savory options would be Banh Mi Co Ut. But the selection is relatively small, and frankly, it’s quite pricey given the small portion sizes. When I pick up something like banh da lon (Vietnamese pandan, coconut, and mung bean steamed layer cake) or banh gio (a savory steamed cake made of rice, quail egg, seasoned pork, mushroom), whatever I get is meant as a little snack for one person; it’s not really meant to be shared given the small size. But the thing is — Vietnamese food is like the majority of Asian foods: they are meant to be shared; Vietnamese people don’t usually order a la carte unless it’s banh mi or a bowl of noodle soup. So this always felt a bit awkward for me when I’d pick up one thing at Banh Mi Co Ut and know I’d inevitably have to split up what was already a small portion.

Well, Melbourne’s Vietnamese options are not lacking in the slightest. In fact, it’s probably one of the most diverse places when it comes to ALL Asian food in the entire world. Melbourne has not one, not two, but THREE Vietnamese neighborhoods for you to choose from: Springvale, Richmond, and Footscray. Our favorite area that Chris has been taking me to since year one of my coming down under for Christmas (that is 2012 — 13 years ago!!) is Springvale. I love the sheer variety of restaurants, hole-in-the-walls, the multiple shopping centers filled with little eateries, shops, bakeries, butchers, fresh foods, prepared foods. It feels like a more modern version of the markets you see in Vietnam. Granted, we usually go back to the same places at least once each visit (Bun Bun Bakery for banh mi is our all-time favorite and must-visit; HS Cakes is our beloved bakery for durian cakes, crepes, and ice cream — this is also where one of Kaia’s 1st birthday cakes came from – durian cake!)), but we also try to check out new spots to branch out. So it ends up being a mini food crawl while there.

Today, we started at Bun Bun Bakery and shared a bbq pork and mixed ham roll (“mixed ham roll” is essentially the traditional Vietnamese banh mi that has all the cold cuts, plus the usual fixings of Viet mayo, pate, pickled daikon/carrot, cilantro, chilies). Then we walked through the Springvale shopping centers to explore all the local fresh fruit, and we ended up sampling and hauling home 1.5 kilos of super plump, bright pink lychees, and another kilo of huge, fat passion fruits. Kaia got to admire different vendors in the shopping center stuff banh mi to order. I also stumbled upon a huge stand called Ben Thanh Hot Bread and Cakes, where my eyes immediately gravitated toward the fried sesame balls stuffed with mashed, lightly sweetened mung bean (it’s the Vietnamese equivalent of the Chinese jian dui). I picked up one of these for $2 since Chris doesn’t really care about these, and I figured Kaia might just have a bite (and this sesame ball was super fresh – the texture was deceptively light and airy, and the outside was so crispy!). But then, I saw that there were multiple pre-packaged containers of my favorite banh da lon, which Kaia also enjoys. And unlike at Banh Mi Co Ut, this container had four fat slices! I asked the vendor how much it was, and she told me it was $6.50 AUD. That’s just over $1 USD/slice! I felt like I had hit the jackpot!

So I paid for the banh da lon container, and we parked ourselves at a little bench inside the shopping center so that Kaia and I could enjoy them. I showed her the container and asked her what it was, and she immediately recognized it and went crazy.

“I want it! I want it!” Pookster said over and over again with the most eager-beaver grin on her face. Kaia practiced daintily peeling the layers apart and then not-so-daintily stuffed them into her mouth.

These banh da lon slices were so luxurious. They were so soft that it was clear to me these cakes were freshly steamed that morning. The layers peeled easily from each other, so it’s also just a fun thing to eat. The fragrant pandan and coconut, the nutty and creamy mung bean layer, the fun glutinous rice texture — these slices were just perfect. The ones at Banh Mi Co Ut – annoyingly it’s unclear how “fresh” they are because when they give it to you, it’s pretty hard (that’s a sign they were refrigerated or even frozen). And so they advise you to microwave it for about 30 seconds when you’re ready to eat it.

We also stopped by a very popular and casual Malaysian restaurant for some quick drinks and roti canai and roti telur, then picked up some taro ice cream for the road from HS Cakes. Everything was delicious. But I will admit that for me personally, the biggest food highlight of the day was that Ben Thanh bakery stand stop (I still loved Bun Bun very much, though, so I hope they aren’t offended). I got two items from there, and both were 10/10 for freshness, tastiness/quality, and value. I think Kaia would also agree with me. I am definitely adding that bakery stand to my regular rotation for all future visits!

I will always love Vietnamese bakery foods and have a soft spot in my heart (and belly) for them. But of the places we go to regularly, Melbourne, and specifically, Springvale, is really the main place where I can get my fix for these cravings. Just the mere sight of these items being available always makes my eyes glimmer.