Melbourne: a Vietnamese food mecca, and when I get my Vietnamese food/bakery fix

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Over the last ten years, I’ve been really excited to see how modern Vietnamese restaurants have spread throughout New York City. Most of these spots are owned and operated by second and third generation Vietnamese Americans who saw the lack of really good Vietnamese options in this great city, and wanted to solve for that. While I love these restaurants, they unfortunately have not filled in the gap for Vietnamese bakeries. The mere concept of “Vietnamese bakery” is very, very foreign in New York City, which is odd given how diverse the population there is. The closest thing I have seen to a “Vietnamese bakery” in terms of selection of both (“Asian sweet”) sweet and savory options would be Banh Mi Co Ut. But the selection is relatively small, and frankly, it’s quite pricey given the small portion sizes. When I pick up something like banh da lon (Vietnamese pandan, coconut, and mung bean steamed layer cake) or banh gio (a savory steamed cake made of rice, quail egg, seasoned pork, mushroom), whatever I get is meant as a little snack for one person; it’s not really meant to be shared given the small size. But the thing is — Vietnamese food is like the majority of Asian foods: they are meant to be shared; Vietnamese people don’t usually order a la carte unless it’s banh mi or a bowl of noodle soup. So this always felt a bit awkward for me when I’d pick up one thing at Banh Mi Co Ut and know I’d inevitably have to split up what was already a small portion.

Well, Melbourne’s Vietnamese options are not lacking in the slightest. In fact, it’s probably one of the most diverse places when it comes to ALL Asian food in the entire world. Melbourne has not one, not two, but THREE Vietnamese neighborhoods for you to choose from: Springvale, Richmond, and Footscray. Our favorite area that Chris has been taking me to since year one of my coming down under for Christmas (that is 2012 — 13 years ago!!) is Springvale. I love the sheer variety of restaurants, hole-in-the-walls, the multiple shopping centers filled with little eateries, shops, bakeries, butchers, fresh foods, prepared foods. It feels like a more modern version of the markets you see in Vietnam. Granted, we usually go back to the same places at least once each visit (Bun Bun Bakery for banh mi is our all-time favorite and must-visit; HS Cakes is our beloved bakery for durian cakes, crepes, and ice cream — this is also where one of Kaia’s 1st birthday cakes came from – durian cake!)), but we also try to check out new spots to branch out. So it ends up being a mini food crawl while there.

Today, we started at Bun Bun Bakery and shared a bbq pork and mixed ham roll (“mixed ham roll” is essentially the traditional Vietnamese banh mi that has all the cold cuts, plus the usual fixings of Viet mayo, pate, pickled daikon/carrot, cilantro, chilies). Then we walked through the Springvale shopping centers to explore all the local fresh fruit, and we ended up sampling and hauling home 1.5 kilos of super plump, bright pink lychees, and another kilo of huge, fat passion fruits. Kaia got to admire different vendors in the shopping center stuff banh mi to order. I also stumbled upon a huge stand called Ben Thanh Hot Bread and Cakes, where my eyes immediately gravitated toward the fried sesame balls stuffed with mashed, lightly sweetened mung bean (it’s the Vietnamese equivalent of the Chinese jian dui). I picked up one of these for $2 since Chris doesn’t really care about these, and I figured Kaia might just have a bite (and this sesame ball was super fresh – the texture was deceptively light and airy, and the outside was so crispy!). But then, I saw that there were multiple pre-packaged containers of my favorite banh da lon, which Kaia also enjoys. And unlike at Banh Mi Co Ut, this container had four fat slices! I asked the vendor how much it was, and she told me it was $6.50 AUD. That’s just over $1 USD/slice! I felt like I had hit the jackpot!

So I paid for the banh da lon container, and we parked ourselves at a little bench inside the shopping center so that Kaia and I could enjoy them. I showed her the container and asked her what it was, and she immediately recognized it and went crazy.

“I want it! I want it!” Pookster said over and over again with the most eager-beaver grin on her face. Kaia practiced daintily peeling the layers apart and then not-so-daintily stuffed them into her mouth.

These banh da lon slices were so luxurious. They were so soft that it was clear to me these cakes were freshly steamed that morning. The layers peeled easily from each other, so it’s also just a fun thing to eat. The fragrant pandan and coconut, the nutty and creamy mung bean layer, the fun glutinous rice texture — these slices were just perfect. The ones at Banh Mi Co Ut – annoyingly it’s unclear how “fresh” they are because when they give it to you, it’s pretty hard (that’s a sign they were refrigerated or even frozen). And so they advise you to microwave it for about 30 seconds when you’re ready to eat it.

We also stopped by a very popular and casual Malaysian restaurant for some quick drinks and roti canai and roti telur, then picked up some taro ice cream for the road from HS Cakes. Everything was delicious. But I will admit that for me personally, the biggest food highlight of the day was that Ben Thanh bakery stand stop (I still loved Bun Bun very much, though, so I hope they aren’t offended). I got two items from there, and both were 10/10 for freshness, tastiness/quality, and value. I think Kaia would also agree with me. I am definitely adding that bakery stand to my regular rotation for all future visits!

I will always love Vietnamese bakery foods and have a soft spot in my heart (and belly) for them. But of the places we go to regularly, Melbourne, and specifically, Springvale, is really the main place where I can get my fix for these cravings. Just the mere sight of these items being available always makes my eyes glimmer.

Wankernomics comedy show at Hamer Hall Arts Centre, Melbourne

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While Chris and I have seen quite a lot of comedy shows while in New York, we’ve never seen any performing arts shows while we’ve been in Melbourne together until tonight. He got us tickets to see Wankernomics, a male duo of comedians, James Schloeffel and Charles Firth, who “unlock the secrets to workplace success through the ancient art of being an annoying wanker.” It’s geared towards anyone who has semi-recently or is currently working in a corporate office setting and has to regularly hear obnoxious but ubiquitous terms like “circle back” or “stakeholder engagement/management.” That… is pretty much my life.

Here is an example of “advice” they have given for speech at work:

Don’t say: “Sorry, I don’t have even the most basic grasp of what this project is about.”

Instead, you should say: “Let’s circle back once we’ve got more visibility.”

For Chris, it’s easy for him to laugh at these things because he’s no longer doing full-time work. For me, it’s part laugh-out-loud, part hard smile, and part painful cringe because pretty much everything they make fun of is a thousand percent true. It doesn’t matter what part of the world you work in; the chances are high that you deal with this kind of thing every single day in some shape or form. The part of the show that definitely made me feel ill was when James and Charles talked about “company values” and basically how they are all the same across any company, and are pretty much a gathering of “bullshittery” to make everyone feel holier than thou and good about what they are wasting their time doing every single day.

Corporate work life: you can’t live with it, but you can’t really live without it.

Happy 4th birthday to my little love Kaia Pookie

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My sweet Kaia Pookie: You are my purest joy and all at once my most intense infuriation. Every day, I learn more about the meaning of happiness, joy, and love – all because of your sheer existence.

Earlier this year, I read a book by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu that discusses the concept of “mudita,” or sympathetic joy, a joy that celebrates others’ joy, delights in the good fortune and happiness of others without jealousy. And I realized that because of you, I get to experience that feeling every single day when something excites and delights you. Your happiness is my happiness; your pain is also my pain. We are inextricably linked for life. You are never going to escape me even if you want to!

Some days, I wish I could bottle up our moments together, that I could keep you safe and whole and little in my arms forever. But every day, my little love, you are getting bigger and bigger and less and less little. For now, though, you are still my little one, and I’m still your safe place. And that is enough to make this moment of your sweetness eternal in my heart. I hope you always know how hard I am trying to be the best mumma to you, the best example to you that I can possibly be.

It sounds a little ridiculous considering how many people get pregnant and give birth every single day, but every day, I count my blessings and consider myself so, so lucky to have you in my life. I know others who have not been as fortunate to have children who wanted to become parents, and so I know that the gift I have is not one that everyone is privileged and lucky enough to experience.

Happy 4th birthday, my sweet Kaia Pookie, aka Hoji, aka Pookster. You are my forever love, the one who has given my life far more sweetness and joy than I ever could have previously fathomed. Thank you for being my sweet, cheeky, rambunctious little Pookie Pie every single day. Mumma and Daddy love you more than words could ever fully express.

Downton Abbey – The Grand Finale, and the relativity of our “privileged” experiences

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When we fly from New York to Australia, we cross the International Date Line, which means that we lose an entire day: we leave on the evening of December 8, and December 9 just disappears, as we arrive the morning of December 10. During this record-long 17.5-hour flight from JFK to Auckland (that’s the on-paper time; the actual time was closer to 17 hours), I was able to watch two movies, dabble in a few TV shows, eat two full meals, and sleep a decent night’s worth of sleep. I arrived in Auckland feeling really refreshed and awake. Of the two movies I watched, the first one I dove into was Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale. I’ve been a huge Downton Abbey fan since 2021 when we started watching it (yes, I realize I am extremely late to the fan club). The entire series is so good, and the writing is absolutely hilarious when it comes to how snobbish and classist the Crawley family can be. In the movie, Lord Grantham and his eldest daughter, Lady Mary, are in London, considering downgrading their large London home for a much smaller London flat. As they are viewing a potential flat, Lord Grantham walks down the hallway and questions why there is a family who would live above them, and then another family living under them. He groaned about it, muttering that it felt like a “layer cake of strangers.” It was clear that he was struggling to wrap his head around understanding modern apartment living. He even says that the idea of unknown people living so close to him was “extraordinary.” He asked what they were to do when they would want to “go up to bed.” Lady Mary responds, “You don’t go up (to bed), you simply go along (in a flat)!”

I laughed out loud at this, and quite hard. I’ve spent my entire adult life living in apartments in one of the most densely populated cities in the world, and so I always struggle at the idea of people who live in large homes and have too much space. To me, it always feels like wasted space. Who really needs that much space simply to live and exist?

As I laughed at this, though, I am reminded that it is all relative. Everyone’s version of “normal” Is quite different. I even thought about recent conversations I’ve had with Chris when we’ve talked about our opinions on business class in-flight service across our recent flights on British Airways, American, and now Qantas. We both agreed that BA in-flight service was pretty good, American was subpar (as to be expected since U.S. airlines are always terrible for service; even in business class, it feels like everything they do for you is a massive favor), and Qantas service was excellent (as is to be expected based on historically proven excellence). I could imagine the two of us having this conversation in public, and how some passersby could hear us and think we were two complete, utter snobs who were totally out of touch with reality. But the truth is: this is our lived reality, and well, we’re allowed to have opinions about it, are we not?

First onsite “evaluation” for kindergarten

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Kaia will be starting kindergarten next school year, so the last couple months for us (okay, primarily Chris) have been spent researching different options in our area, both private and public. We’ve narrowed it down to two private schools to apply to, and both require online applications, application fees, parent interviews, parent essays, teacher recommendations (yes, really, if applicable from daycare/3K/4K), and child onsite evaluations. The onsite evaluation is typically a 3-4-hour block of time when you drop your child off at the school, and they are brought into a class of same-aged children to participate in the day’s lesson, and are then evaluated and scored.

These onsite evaluations are things I had only heard of previously, but I had always thought were a little nuts. What exactly are they even being evaluated on at such an early age? Children as young as just 6 months old are brought in for elite school evaluations. What are they judged on — how much or how loudly they babble, or how quickly they can crawl? The whole idea for such early ages seemed so absurd to me. Even at ages 2-4, this still just seemed so, so early to me. One of the parents I was in touch with at one of our consideration schools told me not to worry too much about the onsite evaluation or the parent interview. He summed it up as, “They want to make sure you both are decent people, and for the child evaluation, they basically want to have proof that your child is not disruptive.” So in other words, they want to make sure Pookster doesn’t smash all the windows, throw chairs and tables, or attempt to beat up all her classmates. Got it.

But we like both of these schools a lot, and so we want to “make sure we’re considering all our options,” as Chris said. So, we threw Kaia’s hat in the ring for her. Today’s school was our first onsite evaluation. Chris brought her in at 8:20, and I picked her up at noon. It ended up working out schedule-wise for us because Friday was her last day of school at her current school for the year. This evening, we’re leaving on a long-haul flight to Melbourne for Christmas. So we got to send Kaia to her onsite evaluation (aka, free childcare… or well, technically, childcare paid for by this school application fee!!) while we packed up the last bits, finished the final load of laundry, and I got some work done before we were heading to the airport.

I wasn’t sure how she would be or whether she would have liked the experience. We told her that this was “practice kindergarten” and that she would be in a class where the teachers would speak in Chinese to her, and all the kids would speak Chinese. So we encouraged her to listen and participate, and to speak as much Chinese as she could. I always know she understands Chinese. I am not always confident she can speak much other than the most basic. So I tried not to get my hopes up too much.

After I signed in to pick her up at noon, the founder greeted me and walked me to her classroom to get her. When I came in, the main teacher greeted me. In Chinese (this was a bit presumptuous, but in the end, I was actually happy with it since I understood everything she shared), the teacher did a quick but thorough run-through of what they did all morning: morning introduction, meeting, and discussion, exercise, snack time, lesson time, and wrap-up. Kaia had one pee break and was offered a pee at the end, but she declined (love this level of detail for this age). Throughout the whole day, Kaia understood what was communicated and responded in kind. She also participated throughout, and was very enthusiastic in her participation, especially with exercise (haha). She was well-behaved and listened throughout.

I felt like such a beaming, proud Asian mother of her Asian kid. She did well! The teacher was really happy with her level of understanding and participation! Kaia seemed to enjoy it and said that she liked her new (temporary) classmates and enjoyed the teachers. Pookster said she liked her practice kindergarten. This made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe this could really be a future place for her. But at this point, only time will tell where she lands.

“I am Daddy’s boot. I am Mummy’s heart!”

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I’ve lost count of the number of “phases” that Kaia has gone through. She’s currently in a lot of different phases, including constantly asking who bought or made what item she owns, loving “pretending” or imaginative play, and inserting “actually” into almost all her sentences. She loves to look at pictures of food or other people eating, then pretend to grab said food and start munching away on it. She also loves to share all the junky food that her classmates at school like to eat, and then she shares her opinion of said food (e.g. “Bobby really likes chips, but I actually like lollipops more.” This statement is also coming from a child who has never had a real lollipop before, but hey, who is keeping track?).

A regular bedtime routine we have is that once we tuck her in, Kaia likes to ask either for a band-aid or an ice pack. Chris realized how obsessed she was with band-aids, and he also realized how unsustainable that would be (read; expensive!!) for these branded Bluey and Paw Patrol band-aids he had bought. So somehow, he managed to procure a pack of a THOUSAND band-aids, of various designs and colors, just to indulge our child a bit. She insists on opening the band-aid, peeling each piece off carefully and handing it to me, then selecting the special part of her body where it will go (it’s usually somewhere on her arm, leg, or knee). Then, I kiss her good night, and she passes out within ten to fifteen minutes.

I’m still in shock that she is turning four in just a few days. Sometimes, it feels like just yesterday when I was waddling around this apartment and New York, about to give birth to her any day four years ago. I loved every moment of being pregnant, even when I was dealing with sciatica, even when I had to pee almost every hour, and even when doctors were trying to freak me out about potentially inducing me early. And as I think about the last four years, sometimes I just cannot believe how lucky Chris and I got with her. Kaia is this super vivacious, rambunctious, curious, sweet, loving child, and she is truly all ours. I never thought my heart could expand as much as it has over these last four-plus years (including pregnancy, of course).

While Chris and I were drinking hot chocolate yesterday evening out of the Christmas market mugs we’d brought back from Vienna and Basel during previous European Thanksgiving trips, Kaia noticed that Chris’s mug was shaped like a boot while mine was shaped like a heart. She loved both designs, and declared multiple times, “I am Daddy’s boot. I am Mummy’s heart!”

I smiled so hard at that. “Yes, Pookie,” I responded to her. “You are most definitely mumma’s heart.”

Annual visit to Sixth Avenue and the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree

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It’s our last weekend in New York for the year, and today, we walked down to the 40s to check out all the beautiful festive Christmas decorations along Sixth Avenue. Chris and I have been doing this for so many years that I’ve lost count how many times we’ve done this. And now, we do it with Kaia. All the usual fun decor was there, including my beloved super-large red Christmas ball ornaments, the nutcrackers, as well as the candy canes on “ice.” Endless Christmas trees decorate fronts of corporate office buildings. And then of course, there’s the magnificent Rockefeller Christmas tree.

Every year, it doesn’t matter what time of day you go or whether it’s Saturday or Sunday, but the entire area around Sixth Avenue and Rockefeller is completely mobbed. Getting through is never fun, and it always feels claustrophobic, especially when you have a young child in tow. You walk at the pace of snails, and the crowds are just endless. But we brave it to see our favorite Christmas decorations and the gorgeous tree. Once we finally reach the tree, it always feels worth it. It really is so extravagant and gorgeous — and SO tall and large! This year’s tree was particularly fat and bushy on the bottom. I really liked how “full” its butt was. We look at it for a few minutes, snap a few selfies and act like tourists and try to see if anyone is around who can help us take a picture of all three of us. And then we head back home.

Every year, people come from the suburbs, Long Island, upstate, the tri-state area, and all over the world to see Christmas in New York. We live right here and get to enjoy it as much as we want. Every year, I am reminded of how lucky I am that I get to live in this great, big, endlessly fun metropolis. World-class performances like the New York City Ballet’s The Nutcracker happen just three blocks from where I live. The best performers in the world come through here every single day. The food and culture here just defines diversity. New York does the festive season really, really well. And I’m so happy to call New York City my home.

The enchantment of The Nutcracker – 34 years later

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When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with ballet. I loved watching the little foot moves, the twirls, the beautiful outfits. So when I was five, my aunt and mom took me to the San Francisco ballet to see The Nutcracker, and I was so, so excited. I was going to have an entire evening of what I loved most: Christmas and ballet! Unfortunately about half way through that performance, I started running a fever and wasn’t feeling well, so we had to leave early (I can only hope my aunt and mom didn’t spend too much on those tickets…). And that was my experience with The Nutcracker, or really, any ballet for that matter.

Years went by. My parents refused to let me do any ballet classes (“that costs money”). I lost interest in ballet. But when I got to adulthood and moved to New York City, I realized I was in the center of the world for the performing arts. And of course, I was now living in the home of the New York City Ballet — world renowned, the best of the best. I had to make this happen — this decades-long dream of seeing this enchanting holiday performance. Every year I checked for tickets, and they’d either all be sold out and/or insanely priced (clearly, I didn’t have any insider knowledge…). That was a challenge, plus I knew no one who wanted to go with me — either because they had zero interest in ballet, or they weren’t willing to spend this kind of money on a show. I finally made a friend who said she’d be interested if I could find tickets under a certain price point, and I got the tickets this year! And last night, I FINALLY WENT — 34 years later!

A friend joined me for the evening, and it was everything magical and completely transported me into my 5-year-old self, completely transfixed by the massive, gorgeous, sparkling, and GROWING Christmas tree on the stage; the dainty toe work and dancing, plus borderline acrobatics by some of the performers; the orchestral music that was so beautiful and moving that at some points of the songs, I was holding my breath because I wanted to really, really hear and feel the music. The costumes and the makeup were truly stunning. I had forgotten how many children are in The Nutcracker ballet performance; the littles were so adorable, so professional and graceful despite all being relatively young. As the minutes passed, it felt like it was going by too fast: before I knew it, Act I was done, and we were in intermission. Then once the entire show ended, I felt so sad. The magic was here and gone, just like that.

The entire experience truly lived up to all my expectations. I have zero regrets on these tickets, and especially on getting orchestra right, second row tickets; I had a perfect view of everything on the stage and was just steps away from the orchestra. If money didn’t matter, I’d go see The Nutcracker every single year and make it my Christmas tradition, as it really is such a fun, beautiful, and magical way to welcome the festive season. And once Kaia were to get old enough to sit through a two-hour show (plus appreciate how beautiful it all is… and actually understand how expensive these tickets are!!!!), I’d love to take her, too. But I was telling my friend that Pookster would likely need to be an older elementary school age before I’d be comfortable taking her so that she’d really, genuinely appreciated it. These tickets are not easy to get, and they certainly do not come cheap!

I’ll be playing The Nutcracker music a lot for the next few weeks as we get closer to Christmas and reliving the sheer magic that the ballet was last night. “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” is just enchantment in itself — my absolute favorite.

Le Creuset enameled cast iron – lives up to the hype!

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Last night after I hand washed my brand new 3.5-quart Le Creuset braiser with dual lid/grill pan, I decided to use it right away to cook the Italian fennel and pork sausage and mushrooms I was preparing for our pasta today. After briefly heating it up, I added some oil and the sausage to the pan and sautéed it for a bit. I was admiring the little handles on the sides of the braiser and thought I would tap the handle to see how hot it was, and WOW! Even after just a couple minutes on the stove, the handle was nearly burning hot! My Amazon Basics 5-quart Dutch oven, which I’ve had for 7-plus years now, doesn’t get anywhere as hot that quickly (to be fair, that dutch oven cost Chris’s aunt and uncle at the time about $35, and Le Creuset pots and pans usually go for $300+). I guess Le Creuset really does what it’s famous for, which is conducting heat well, evenly, and quickly. I think this brand really does live up to the hype so far. It also seems extremely easy to clean. This is like my new baby now that I have to love and take care of very well! Similar to Kaia being my only human baby, this braiser is my only Le Creuset item, so I need to take extra, extra special care of it.

To be loved is to be challenged

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My friend, who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for over five months now, has been telling me that he’s getting frustrated with her for being too intense and asked her to be “gentler.” In general, she’s a pretty serious, goal-oriented person, and she tends to say what she thinks and says exactly what she means. With him, he’s used to being indirect, passive, “not rocking the boat.” But to my friend and me, we find that quite boring… and meaningless. There’s no point in causing chaos for the sake of it, but if there’s an important topic that needs to be addressed, then just put on your adult pants and talk. Plus, I don’t think you ever really know or understand anyone unless you know what their real opinions are on topics that truly matter.

I was reflecting on my own relationship with Chris and my past romantic relationships with partners. And when my friend and I were discussing it, I told her that I find Chris to be one of the most annoying and exacerbating people I know… But in some funny way, I actually love that about him. All my previous partners just got so boring and mundane after a while; predictability can be a true snoozer. I love that he challenges me, even when it’s just for the sake of it to be devil’s advocate, because it’s kind of entertaining, plus it makes things more interesting. But I also think that when people challenge you, it kind of forces you to firm up your own stance and ensure you aren’t just full of crap. Plus, the chances are high that if you are having these types of exchanges, you tend to understand the other person more. And we all need a little more understanding.

Here’s a funny and recent case in point: For the last 13-plus years, Chris has constantly made fun of Le Creuset enameled cast iron company I like. He says they are overrated, that Amazon Basics made a $30 version of a Dutch oven (that I was gifted by his aunt and uncle and have used every single week since while we’re in town) that was better and cheaper (Le Creuset equivalent goes for about $430 in comparison), that it was just another dumb brand. He also loves to purposely mispronounce the name and call it “the CREW-sit.” Regardless of what he says, I like them a lot and have admired them for decades, but I was always too cheap to buy one for myself. Plus, the items are SO heavy and would require good storage space; space is a premium in our apartment. Tonight, he had Kaia and me open some early Christmas gifts, and lo and behold, a bright orange Le Creuset box was waiting for me. Inside the box was a gorgeous Marseille-blue 3.5-quart braiser with a dual grill pan lid, so the lid can also be used on the stove, as well!

I stroked the pan and admired its beautiful Marseille blue shade. Then I went to hand wash it and almost immediately used it to cook pork and fennel sausage and mushrooms for tomorrow’s pasta. He knew I would love this thing, but he will never a) stop giving me grief over it and b) stop making fun of the brand and mispronouncing it purposely. He’s my challenging baby.