After just five days at her school, Kaia has already gotten sick. She was already a little feverish overnight from Thursday to Friday. She vomited a little in class on Friday according to her teacher. And Friday night, I could tell that she had phlegm in her throat and was definitely coughing. I had to do multiple nose sucks out of her nose over the weekend, resulting in a LOT of boogers and gunk coming out. It was unpleasant for all of us. And that doesn’t even include the trail of snot and goo she left all over our duvet cover since she refused to sleep on her crib bed. She had a fever above 100 F on and off. So Chris suggested she stay at home with us for an extra day to recover and get extra TLC from us, especially with all her nose wiping and her meals. She, along with almost all babies/toddlers, never eat as well when they are under the weather.

This will be our new reality given she’s going to be exposed to all the germs and all the different boogery, snotty kids at daycare moving forward. It was inevitable that she’d get exposed sooner rather than later, so I’m just bracing myself and hoping hard that she will not be sick every week.

I cannot count the number of stories I have heard from friends, colleagues, and ex-colleagues regarding what a cesspool daycares are for babies and young toddlers. This is part of the reason I was really against Kaia being in daycare when I went back to work at around 20 weeks age. All I thought about was: she’ll be sick every day! Then, we’ll get sick every day and have to take time off! She won’t be accepted at daycare when she’s sick, or she’ll be sent home! Plus, they’ll muck up all my breast milk and not handle it properly! As an exclusive pumping mama, that really freaked me out. At the end of the day, all children need to build up their immune systems sooner or later, and at some point, we have to let them go out into the “wild,” or daycare/school. So they will get sick sooner or later. The question is: when do we want to allow that to finally happen?

Well, Kaia survived five consecutive days of daycare. On Thursday night, Chris said she seemed a bit feverish. Then, she apparently vomited a little in class on Friday, according to the teacher. After she vomited, though, she seemed happy again and ate pretty much all her lunch and snacks. But this morning, she woke up boogery, coughing, and a little feverish. I also woke up this morning with a slightly sore throat. But alas, we have no way of knowing whether little Kaia’s throat is sore.

I guess we’re no exception to having kids getting sick at daycare quite quickly. I just hope this doesn’t happen every single week.

Yesterday, Kaia did not have the greatest lunch. She was teething and upset for a lot of the morning, and when she saw that the other kids on the lunch program had pasta and she did not, she had a bit of a meltdown. Her teacher improvised though, and while she initially served her vegetables first, then her protein and carbs, she mixed all the food up for her to eat. Kaia eventually ate almost everything, which was a good sign. But then I realized another burden on me: what am I supposed to do about her wanting other kids’ food… monitor the daily lunch menu to make sure she doesn’t have a need for jealousy over their food??

Kaia’s class currently has four students and two teachers. There is one main teacher and one assistant teacher. The assistant teacher is there to open, while the main teacher is there to close. The assistant teacher was seemingly out today, so she had a sub in her place who we hadn’t met before. When I took a peek on the camera this morning, I noticed my baby with a pacifier in her mouth looking very upset. She had food put in front of her that I packed for her morning snack, but she wasn’t touching it. The spoon and cut kiwi were sitting in front of her, too, but the teacher wasn’t helping her with her food at all. Instead, this substitute teacher was helping feed the other two kids and leaving Kaia to her own devices. I was NOT happy to see this, and was planning to message the assistant director and the teacher to call this out. This was after Kaia had a rough start when Chris dropped her off. She was visibly upset and crying when he left, but she didn’t seem to get much comforting from this sub.

Apparently, Chris saw this on the camera, too, and also wasn’t happy, and as soon as I came back from the gym, he called this out to me and insisted that I speak to the teacher about this at pickup. He seemed even more annoyed than I was. Overall, it was a little comical, but could easily be corrected with some firmer communication, both written and in person, and with the assistant director involved. There were always going to be growing pains, and now, we’re just starting to encounter some on day 3. I am hoping that I don’t have to provide too much more constructive feedback; I definitely do not want to come across as a helicopter parent, but I also want to ensure my baby is getting the same attention that the other kids are getting and not getting neglected just because they know she’s generally a self sufficient eater.

Yesterday early evening, when I came to pick up Kaia from school, she was super excited to see me and immediately started smiling and waving her arms up and down. The teacher had given her some crackers since she seemed hungry, and when I came in, she immediately tried to stuff a cracker into my mouth. My sweet baby is always sharing.

However, I made the mistake of not grabbing the stroller from the stroller room first before going into the classroom, and so I saw her, then went to grab the stroller, and came back. Well, she didn’t handle this well, as she assumed I was once again leaving her, so she started yelling and crying, and the teacher had to try to futilely comfort her. I’m definitely not doing that again today.

I asked the teacher how the day went, and she said it was really good. She said Kaia didn’t eat much of her beets when they were all laid out on the plate for her. This seemed odd to me since she usually gobbles up all her beets and then some. I remember, though, that they basically just dumped all the food from her lunch box onto her plate. And the teacher confirmed she gobbled up all her noodles and meat first and ignored the vegetables. I wasn’t sure if this was an acceptable thing to ask, but figured I’d give it a shot: I asked if she could serve and plate her vegetables first, then after she’s eaten some, then serve her meat/protein/carbs. The teacher said it was a completely reasonable request and that she’d be happy to accommodate it, as well as help her with utensil use.

It’s going to take some time to adjust, of course, but I think the first day and a half have been going as well as they could be. I’ve been told by other parents that daycare can take as long as one to two months to adjust, and it will inevitably have ebbs and flows, with some days when the child is happy to go, and other days when it feels like a death sentence for them. So I’m just trying to go with the flow and ensure she’s as comfortable as possible with meals and snacks she enjoys.

I got up extra early this morning to prepare Kaia’s breakfast, breakfast/snack for the mid-morning, and shower before taking her to daycare. I made sure she had foods for lunch she would definitely eat at daycare given they are her favorites: roasted carrots, sauteed mushrooms, steamed beets, scallion oil noodles, and warm spiced chicken thighs. I put sliced grapes and some banana cinnamon oatmeal fingers into a Stasher bag for her mid-morning snack at the center. I also packed her a veggie cheddar and apple whole wheat muffin, plus two mandarins for her afternoon snack. Chris and I went to drop her off for her first day and get her belongings organized. She didn’t seem intimidated at all. She immediately started interacting with the other kids and was barely phased when we left. It seemed like she fit in immediately.

I also handled it all pretty well. I didn’t even cry, much to the surprise of myself and some of my colleagues and friends. Even though we didn’t plan this that far out, I guess I have had time to let all this settle in. The Pookster is only getting older and bigger every day, so I can’t keep her under glass forever. I already do have some feedback to share with the teachers, though, as I don’t think Kaia finished all her lunch based on the live video I have access to, and I want them to save whatever she doesn’t eat in her Omiebox so that I know how much she ate. I also think they need to give her more than 25 minutes to eat lunch, as I thought there was supposed to be a full hour allotted for lunch time?

I spent some of yesterday afternoon labeling all of Kaia’s clothes and random items we need to bring to daycare: blanket, crib sheet, water bottle, utensils, bib, poncho, clothes. I compared all the supplies against the list the director of the daycare provided twice. This afternoon, I spent the entire time cooking and cleaning all the pots and dishes. I made channa masala, scallion oil and noodles, roasted carrots and cauliflower, and roasted warm-spiced chicken thighs. I prepped the food I planned to pack for Kaia for snacks and lunch tomorrow. I packed all the supplies into canvas bags and stored it in the under basket of the stroller already. I felt beyond exhausted by the time dinner time came and Kaia had to be bathed. It was no wonder I ended up going to sleep early with a headache.

At some point yesterday afternoon, Chris asked, “Is there anything else we need to prep for daycare tomorrow?”

“No,” I responded, confused. “I already did everything!”

Being a mom, while very rewarding, can also be very exhausting and completely thankless. Some days, it would be nice to take a total break and just not do anything. In fact, one of my friends who also has kids said that during fights with her spouse, she frequently threatens to not do anything for a whole day (not sure how that actually works out, though. I’m pretty certain knowing her that this is a very empty threat). Then, we can see how the dads survive those days.