Chinese radish (turnip) cake

After years and years of making wu tou gao, or Chinese taro cake, I decided this year to branch out and also try making the equivalent version with radish this time. At dim sum and at dim sum takeout spots, this cake is always just a bunch of rice flour filler, pan fried with pretty much no filling. I will eat it if my mom gets it, but it’s usually just for the sake of eating rather than because it’s any good. It never is outside. But when I made it today, I was surprised by exactly how simple it was to prepare; it’s exactly the same as with the taro cake, except there’s no fuss around peeling an unruly and hairy taro. It actually felt much simpler to make.

And when we actually pan fried it, it was light and airy, almost custardy. The texture was so much lighter than the taro (understandably so), and it didn’t feel as heavy and dense as the taro. The outside edges were perfectly crisp, especially since I used my stainless steel All-Clad pan to pan fry them evenly to a golden brown on both sides. Chris actually admitted he liked this one more than the taro cake, even though he complained when I told him I was going to make the radish cake. He liked it more than the taro cake! I was shocked.

Mopping

I went on a cleaning spree today through the apartment, vacuuming, dusting, and mopping. Mopping does not happen frequently in the apartment. I don’t particularly like the act of it, and I hate constantly having to ring out the soap and water, even if we have a more modern “mop” and it doesn’t have all those nasty stringy things on it. But I suppose I am addicted to that feeling afterwards of a super clean hardwood floor, the lack of sound I hear when I walk across the floor with my flip flops, and even better when my barefoot touch the floor and I feel not a hint of dust or stickiness. It’s ridiculous to think how quick the kitchen floor gets; all it takes is a few crumbs of spinach of flour, some smudges of water, and then feet to walk across it to get the whole place dirty. It’s no wonder my mom always had a rag on the floor to wipe things up when I was growing up. I might need to start doing something like that when I am cooking.

This is one of those situations where you thought you wouldn’t be like your mom, but in the end, you end up being exactly like her…

Grass isn’t always greener

A former colleague and I met for smoothies this afternoon to catch up. He left our company last summer after being angry about a lot of the processes and politics he faced internally. The company he went to was a public company but had no New York office, so he was 100 percent remote in his role. Initially, he found it great: he could work from home full time, make a proper breakfast every morning, schedule everything around his gym sessions. But gradually, he got lonely and felt miserable. He felt like all he did was stay at home for work and after work. There was no separation of time. It would be 8pm suddenly, and he realized he was still working and hadn’t eaten any dinner. The work itself plus the remote nature of his role got to him, so he ended up resigning this week.

The grass isn’t always greener when you leave. I thought about this when I was leaving him and going back to my office today. He decided he wanted to leave this type of role completely and is trying something new. But he says he still has no regrets about leaving our company — he couldn’t take the politics anymore.

But realistically, when do you ever fully leave politics? You can leave a company and its individual issues, but then you’ll move on to the next one, and it will have its own set of issues and back talking. It just keeps going.

Coming to Queens

A good friend from college is coming to town the last weekend of this month, and when I asked her what she wanted to do, she said, “eat!” She has a list of things she wants to try: Peruvian chicken, Levain Bakery chocolate chip cookies, Xiao long bao/soup dumplings, Indian food, and Thai or Malaysian food. When I asked her what she wanted to actually do outside of meals, she said she wasn’t sure and would have to get back to me. Food is the priority when she’s visited New York a number of times (and some of those times were with me when we were in college together!).

New York City is one of those places where you can finish doing all the “touristy” things such as the Empire State Building, Central Park, Times Square, but still never get enough of it because of the massive diversity of cuisines here. I suggested that because she wanted a lot of different Asian foods that I take her to Queens; outside of JFK airport, she’s never really seen Queens. It’s a very under loved and under appreciated borough, so we have that on our plan for Saturday of her weekend with us.

12 years

I realize that this June will mark twelve years of full time work. This feels very strange to me, as it really doesn’t feel like that long ago when I graduated from college, completely green and wide-eyed at the idea of the white collar corporate world. I thought I could do anything then as long as I worked hard. I’ll be fierce and outspoken and prove them all wrong about what an Asian could be. Shrill? I won’t be “shrill” like a woman — I’ll be assertive and lower my pitch so that I’ll be taken seriously. My race and gender won’t hold me back! I’m going to climb that ladder and show them all that I can succeed!

Well, all that got shot to shit. I climbed the ladder… sort of. I started making a lot more money year after year. But none of it really felt that fulfilling at the end of the day. If I knew I was going to die the next day, there’s no way I would look back on my life and be proud of my line of work and felt like I made a true contribution to the world, that I actually made a difference. And to top that off, I had to deal with endless internal politics, perceptions of myself that were just flat out false and fabricated. Oh, and that hasn’t stopped.

Today, I sit at my job, at a company where I know I am deeply privileged and get to experience luxuries like literal free lunch, zero health premiums, the ability to work from home when I want, yet I still feel stunted and like there is more to life than this. I think about my good fortune every single day to acknowledge that I am grateful for what I have, and I am reminded of it even more whenever I meet with friends, family, and acquaintances who cannot believe the types of benefits I get where I work. But I still want to do more, see more, experience more. I want to get away from the politics, the back talking, the gossip, the nonsense of corporations. I just need to keep doing things that are fulfilling outside of work to keep me motivated about life.

McDonald’s on Gastropod

Reading the news has become far too depressing in a day and age of climate change, a global move toward the political right, and an age of President Dipshit, so I’ve tried to lay off reading too many breaking news stories unless they are through my round-up news summary e-mails and top headlines. What I’ve been trying to focus on more are long-form feature pieces that tend to have more research and paint a bigger picture story of a given topic. It’s likely the only way to stay sane in today’s life.

Podcasts on food, politics, science, and history are always fun, and so the intersection of all the above topics can be found in my absolute favorite podcast of all time, Gastropod. The latest podcast they released is on McDonald’s and how it became so ubiquitous. What it also touches upon is how they actually helped create jobs for black Americans during the 50s and 60s when “white flight” was happening, and the inner city was left just to black Americans. McDonald’s obviously did not discriminate “white” money from “black” money; they just wanted *all* money and then some. And so they allowed black Americans to become franchise owners in urban areas, which led to more and more black Americans eating in McDonald’s in inner cities; many of these black-owned McDonald’s franchises ended up being some of the best performing McDonald’s of that time.

The sad truth, though, is that while McDonald’s created these opportunities for black Americans, they did it 100 percent motivated out of greed and capitalism, to line their own pockets more. It was hardly because they wanted to help the black community at a time of extreme racism and segregation. Forget the government taking over the responsibility of creating opportunities for its citizens; why not just let a corporation do it so that it can profit and make money under the guise of “helping the local community”? The racist conservatives loved this idea because the idea of “black enterprise” was a more palatable solution to them than integration (because, oh, no, what would happen if people from different ethnicities mixed and actually interacted with each other!). The liberals liked it from a superficial perspective because this brought money and ownership to black communities.

Today, discrimination still persists across people of color working at McDonald’s at all levels, and sadly because of this history, fast food has become part of the stereotype of the black American diet. So when conservative commentators from Fox News talk deprecatingly about black Americans, they say they make the conscious choice to eat junk food and get fat, completely ignoring the history behind how this stereotype even came to be.

Racist stereotypes persist. Racism persists against pretty much all people of color. It’s so depressing to think about.

Oh wait. Didn’t I just say that Gastropod was my favorite podcast? It is. It helps shed light on nuggets of history like this for me that I wasn’t quite aware of before. It’s depressing, yes, but at least I am informed in an entertaining and fully researched way.

Three-day weekend

Every time a three-day weekend comes, while I am always grateful to have an extra day tacked onto my weekend, it always feels like it goes by too quickly, as though maybe the American work week should have been made to be a four-day work week with a three-day weekend just so that we could all learn to be a bit more efficient. I’ve always found that when my weeks are shorter, I tend to prioritize what absolutely has to get done, and in the end, I feel like I’ve actually gotten more accomplished with less time. In fact, I’ve read several studies showing that women in countries where companies actually allow flexible work schedules actually feel more efficient and productive with four days at 10 work hours a day vs. five days with 8 work hours a day.

I got a good amount of things done this weekend, though, along with another vlog edited. I wish I had this every week.

Home Cooking NY cooking classes

This past Christmas, Chris gifted me a cheesemaking cooking class at Home Cooking NY on Grand Street in lower Manhattan that took place yesterday. It was the second time I’ve taken a class here, as the first one was on Vietnamese cooking that I did last year after returning from Vietnam. I didn’t really love the Vietnamese cooking class last year, as I felt that the main instructor kept talking over and interrupting her Vietnamese guest instructor too much to the point that it seemed condescending. But during this cheesemaking course, the instructor seemed far more in her own element, going through facts on the cheese industry both in the U.S. and abroad while also making wise cracks and sarcastic comments about the U.S. federal and state level government regulations on raw milk and cheese (“Here in New York state, it’s illegal to sell raw milk, so you have to go to the border of Pennsylvania to buy it … the state is trying to protect you from absolutely nothing, so…” and also about the poor state of education here in the U.S. (“when I used to teach real culinary school, you wouldn’t believe how dumb my students were… they didn’t know what terms like ‘opaque’ or ‘translucent’ meant. I said to them, ‘do you know what ‘see-through’ means? Well, that is what ‘translucent’ means. And the opposite of that — what you CANNOT see through, that is ‘opaque’! Got it?!” It was a bit hilarious and unexpected, and at times could be tiring to see how jaded she was, but it definitely was entertaining at times.

We made mozzarella, paneer, ricotta, cashew “ricotta,” saag paneer, and caprese sandwiches during class. I enjoyed it and learned a good amount, and I’m now feeling more interested in prioritizing making ricotta and paneer myself sometime soon, as both had already been on my to-make list for a while (isn’t everything?). But, I will say that the instructor’s saag paneer was not to my liking; everyone else raved about it (some of these people claimed to eat Indian food regularly but had never heard of saag paneer or palak paneer — how can you claim to eat Indian food in this country and never have eaten or even seen this at a restaurant?!), but I found it too heavy on the tomatoes and a bit westernized. I realize that dried methi leaves are not easily sourced, but if you really want to make authentic tasting saag paneer, you absolutely need to have these, and all it takes is one or two tiny pinches of it to make a world’s difference. They can be bought at any Indian grocery store or on Amazon. I wasn’t going to be the smart ass in class to say it to the instructor or any other white person raving about this dish in class (even though my instructor was a self-professed “smart ass” and likely could have handled it), so I said nothing instead, preferring to keep the peace with 10 people I’d likely never see again.

Living for nothing.

I emailed my dad a couple days ago about the WWII congressional gold medal that his dad would posthumously get awarded. I told him about this last year when my uncle let me and our other cousins know about it and although I never knew him, it still made me feel proud to know that our grandpa had served in WWII as a Chinese American. I think it’s something our whole family should be proud about. But, from what I can tell, my dad seemed indifferent to all of it. He seemed to think nothing of it and didn’t even care that it was happening or that regional ceremonies would be held for it around the country, or that family members such as himself would actually be invited to go. He had no reaction to the article, no reaction to his dad’s name being on the list, and no reaction to the ceremonies. He just didn’t care.

As far as I know, at this point, I am not even sure what he cares about. The house is in disrepair, smells like mold, and even has mice running around inside it now. The rentals are in disrepair and far from being in a state to rent out, and he doesn’t want to work on them. There are many items in the house he said he would give away or sell on Craiglist, and he’s made no action to move forward on any of it. What exactly is he doing all day? Is he just living for absolutely nothing?

Exercise as fuel and meditation

I started this week pretty unmotivated, grumpy, and irritable about pretty much everything: family, work, the cold weather. Nothing was really keeping me going, and each morning when I’d rise, I had zero desire to start the day with exercise the way I usually do, so I abstained and stayed in bed longer. This ended up having a pretty negative effect on me, as I felt even worse during the morning and throughout the day. I finally hauled myself out of bed for a 40-minute workout this morning (this is actually short for me), and even with just 40 minutes of exercise, mentally I felt in a much better headspace than I had all week.

Even when I am feeling lazy and unmotivated, I need to remember and keep reminding myself that exercise puts me in a better place both mentally and physically, and even if I find it painful in the moment, once I start, I will rarely regret it.