Kaia finally poops at school

Since she started showing signs of shame around pooping earlier this year, Kaia has not pooped at school. Back then, she was still in diapers, but she would still wait until she got home to poop. Then we went through potty training in August. She mastered peeing in the potty right away, but poop was a struggle initially. After several weeks of hiccups, she finally started getting comfortable with “letting go.” She pooped easily in her small potty at home. But it took some coaxing for her to poop in hotels. She would never poop at school. Every time we asked, the teachers always said she’d only pee in the potty at school. We kept hoping, though. Chris even said that when she finally pooped at school (in the potty, NOT in her pants!), he’d get her a pair of shoes with lights, which she’d been asking for since she started at this school in September.

Then came the last day of school for Kaia this year on December 6. At pickup, I got a quick debrief of her day from the admin. And before we left, she stopped me and said, “Oh, wait! I almost forgot! Something amazing happened today, Mommy! KAIA POOPED IN THE POTTY!”

She reported to me that Kaia had simply told them she wanted to go to the potty. She hopped on top of the toilet, took her little dump, and then declared she was “All done!” And the teacher was shocked to see she had pooped.

My baby is most definitely growing up. Her bowel movements are getting more comfortable everywhere, including school! She doesn’t just poop at home and at fancy hotels anymore!

An autumn take on a beloved “pick me up”: pumpkin tiramisu!

I have a very long list of all-time favorite desserts. But high on that list, if not on the top of that list, is tiramisu. In Italian, tiramisu translates to “pick me up,” which is exactly what this dessert delivers. It’s light and fluffy because of the soaked ladyfingers, usually in a mixture of strong coffee/espresso and a liqueur, traditionally marsala, but oftentimes substituted with dark rum, coffee liqueur like kahlua, or amaretto. And it’s creamy because of the whipped dreamy mixture of mascarpone, cream, sugar, flavorings like vanilla, and airy egg yolks.

I’ve oftentimes been inspired to make different versions of tiramisu given how easily the format of it lends to different flavors. I’ve seen delicious, tempting versions, ranging from blended mango, matcha, hojicha, and even ube. But the issue is usually, when you make a tiramisu, it makes a HUGE portion, usually in a 9×13″ pan. So when I knew that one of my best friends and her mom would be coming over for dinner on Thursday, I figured this was my last opportunity this year to make a dessert at home, so I make a pumpkin version I found that was recently published on Serious Eats. Kaia and I spent some time on Wednesday night making it by whipping the mascarpone mixture, dipping the ladyfingers (pre bought) into the coffee / dark rum mixture, and then layering the soaked lady fingers with the mascarpone. We let it soak and meld almost 24 hours before serving it. And I’ll be honest and say: this no-bake effort was very worth it. The ladyfingers were perfectly soaked and soft. And the mascarpone mixture with it was like little soft pillows of sweetness in the mouth, with hints of autumn spices throughout. This recipe was definitely a keeper.

Kaia unfortunately did not appreciate the tiramisu when she had a lick. Instead, she tried to pick off all the chocolate shavings I topped the tiramisu with. But hey, that just meant more dessert for the adults, and more frozen tiramisu from when we’re back from Australia and Asia in the new year!

The sketch Wall Street pool where Kaia had a makeup swim class

We were able to get a free swim class from Kaia’s swim school since they were doing a limited time promotion: if families upload an Instagram reel or TikTok video praising the school and our experience with them, then we can get a free class redeemable by the end of December. So on Monday of this week, after I picked Kaia up from school, we took the subway down to Wall Street to the makeup swim class location at a pool I’d never been to. The pool was located at Wall Street Bath and Spa. The directions to get there seemed a bit weird: Look for the Spa 88 sign between a sandwich shop and a dry cleaners. I saw the school sign and walked down a dark staircase with Kaia. We poked our heads into the place and asked if this was where the swim class was. They confirmed we were correct. We then walked down another flight of stairs, through a steamy sea of half naked old men, sipping away at their cocktails and beer and reading newspapers and books. I had to walk through this strange area just to get to the women’s locker room. But once I got there, I discovered it was actually a very fancy spa-like locker room, complete with complex hair styling accessories and even a whole shelf of pool-side sandals that I could borrow while on the pool deck. I was pretty happy about this since I had forgotten my flip-flops.

I thought to myself, what the heck kind of sketchy place is this? It’s supposed to be a Russian bathhouse, but given that about 99 percent of the clientele were all 50s+ old white men who were barely clothed, I wasn’t totally sure this was a child-friendly place. I spoke with the instructors of the class, and they said that they didn’t even feel comfortable walking through the place, so they set up a tent on the pool deck to allow their students to change into their swimwear inside. This whole time, they didn’t even know the locker rooms existed and that you just had to walk through the sea of half naked men! I had to show them that day!

The journey and experience were worth it, though. Kaia basically had a 1:1 private swim lesson given how few kids there were versus the number of teachers. This whole visit to the bath house just made me realize exactly how hidden and discreet a lot of these secrets spots are all over New York City, and that “if you know, you know,” and if you don’t know… well, you may find out given these strange and unexpected opportunities.

Kaia’s birthday party day did not go as expected

If there is something to always be aware of when it comes to young children, it’s to know that things will rarely go as expected, and your child is unlikely to feel how you think they will feel about literally almost anything.

Kaia excitedly wore her winter princess dress that my friend got her last year for her birthday party day at school today. We also had her wear her new light-up shoes that Chris got her, which she was extremely happy about. I delivered the pre-ordered mixed fresh fruit cake to her school before the party time, and also got her a rose gold (really, it’s pink) “3” balloon for the party. The teachers were charged with passing out goodie bags to her and her 19 other classmates.

Well, Kaia unexpectedly took a nap right before the party and woke up very groggy and annoyed. She hasn’t napped at school in weeks, so it was a bit funny she decided to nap today. Then, when it was party time, the admin let me know that she was still very groggy and tired. Kaia also seemed overwhelmed by all the birthday attention and was sort of recoiling. “I just want to warn you, Mommy, that she’s not very happy looking in the photos,” the admin told me at pickup time.

And how annoying for me was that this cake that I chose for her ended up completely going uneaten by her. She didn’t seem to like it and just took one bite of it, declaring she was all done. All her classmates went nuts over the cake; there was literally nothing leftover even for the teachers (which was crazy because this was a large cake!!). I’m sad I wasn’t even able to try it out myself.

At least Kaia was completely enamored by her 3 balloon. She kept hugging it and holding it the entire ride back to the Upper East Side. I took her to the doctor’s office for a COVID booster, went to Trader Joe’s with her proudly holding her balloon, then ran an errand at Duane Reade before heading home. When we finally got home, she had a tantrum that lasted over 20 minutes because she didn’t want to take off her light-up shoes. I knew this would happen. I eventually coaxed her out of the shoes. We spent some time making pumpkin tiramisu for dessert tomorrow when my friend and her mom come over, and she enjoyed time with her goodie bag contents, especially her stickers and bubbles. I presented her second pair of light-up shoes I got her from an Amazon Black Friday deal, and she insisted she go to sleep with them.

Toddlers and their tantrums and big feelings. I honestly feel like her tantrums have gotten worse in the last few weeks. Maybe the “terrible 2s” really aren’t so terrible, and that what we should really be more concerned about are the “terrifying 3s” when kids have developed even stronger opinions, larger vocabularies, and likely even larger “big feelings.” I try to take it in stride, but wow. Sometimes, these moments really, really do test my patience.

Kaia’s 3rd birthday party planning

Since Kaia has started at her new school in Manhattan Chinatown, there have already been a number of birthdays that have been celebrated across the 2s, 3s (her class), and the 4K class. Cake, fun snacks, and goodie bags have been provided by the families, and so we thought Kaia would like it if we also did this for her early birthday celebration for her classmates, as they are essentially her day-to-day friends. She clearly loves birthdays and parties, and she has been saying she wants her own birthday event endlessly. Chris organized all the goodie bags for the three classes, and I am taking care of ordering her birthday cake (a mixed fresh fruit sponge cake from Manna House Bakery, one of my favorite spots, in Chinatown) and birthday balloon and delivering them to the school.

Kaia knows she’s having a little birthday party at school. She’s been talking nonstop about her birthday party, her birthday cake, and her presents. As one of her many gifts, Chris got her the most requested present she’s had since September: shoes with lights on them. Chris told her she would get shoes with lights — *if* she only pooped in the potty. And Pookster certainly listened. She’s had zero poop accidents since as far as I can remember now. Chris unveiled the shoes to her tonight, and she went nuts: she immediately wanted to put them on and constantly stomped her feet on the floor to get the lights to twinkle. She even wanted to take them to bed with her along with one of the goodie bags!

It makes me so happy to watch her face light up when she sees things that excite her, like shoes with lights, or a cake she knows is just for her. Her excitement is pure, unadulterated, and unambiguous. Unfortunately, the school wouldn’t let us be there for her little birthday party, so I asked them to share the photos directly with us so we’d have the original files. I’m sure we will have more birthday festivities for her once we’re in Melbourne, but I know she will enjoy all the attention and the party centered around her with her classmates.

Kaia always wants both parents with her at all times

People often ask us if Kaia prefers one of us over the other. I think for the longest time, she preferred Chris for comforting and holding, but occasionally in the last year, she has shown a preference for me. I think it’s very much situational: if one of us is not giving her what she wants, she will prefer the other and say she doesn’t like the other parent. That’s typical and expected toddler behavior, so I try not to let it get to me when she says things like “I don’t like mummy” or “I don’t want mummy.”

Tonight, I went out to meet a friend visiting from out of town for dinner. Before I even said anything, she knew I was getting ready to go out. She got feisty and said she didn’t want mummy to leave, that she wanted mummy to stay. I explained to her that mummy’s friend is in town and wants to have dinner, so I will just be out for few hours and come back. She had a melt town in the doorway and said she didn’t want me to leave and go out with friends. She kept demanding, “I want a hug! I want a kiss! I want a hug! I want a kiss!” over and over again. I kept relenting until Chris looked at me and said I needed to just go, otherwise this would go on until I would be late. By the time I got to the elevator, I could still hear her crying and yelling for me. She had just done a big poop in her little potty, and after most poops even now, she still wants her “reward” of a sticker. So she asked for a sticker from Chris, who gave one to her. She usually likes to proudly show me her new sticker after he gives it to her, but I wasn’t there this time. So instead, she “showed” it to me by bringing the sticker over to the front door and holding it out to “show” mummy.

Chris shared this story with me when I got back. I couldn’t help but “Awwwwww!” at how cute and sweet it was. That’s my sweet baby Kaia Pookie.

Packing fragile and perishable items in a checked bag and the anxiety that comes with it

When traveling, Chris and I rarely check bags when we can prevent it. There’s always anxiety around a checked bag getting delayed (or LOST), especially in a post-pandemic era where it seems like every week, we hear stories about bags getting lost and never found…or turning up in some random city weeks or months later. There are some guaranteed exceptions, though, such as when we go back and forth to Australia, as well as a few times when we’ve traveled with Kaia as a baby (all that baby stuff really accumulates!), and also, certain countries where I love “things” — France, Japan, and Korea. The idea of visiting a place like France and not checking a bag with goodies to bring home seems like such a waste. You went all that way to a glorious, delicious country, and you’re not planning to bring ANY of that deliciousness home with you?!

This time, amongst a large stash of discount French pharmacy items for myself as a gifts, we’ve also purchased and packed tea, chocolate, caramels, pates de fruits, and perhaps the most nerve racking item: French butter, specifically Maison Bordier butter (formerly known as Le Beurre Bordier). La Bon Marche actually does sous vide/vacuum sealing now for just one euro per bag (you can fit about 6-7 Maison Bordier blocks into it), so that eased my worry around the butter getting back to the U.S. fine and without going bad. In addition, some of the French pharmacy items are packaged in glass, so I had to wrap them up with all my clothes in my packing pods to alleviate my worry about them breaking. In the back of my mind, I always have this tiny worry that things I pack in a checked bag will break, even if I know logically that I’ve done my due diligence to cushion it well. I always remember the story of one of my friends coming back from Italy with several amazing wine bottles to open her luggage and discover the bottles had broken, and all her clothes were stained with red wine.

Well, knock on wood: to this date, I’ve never broken anything in a checked luggage. So hopefully my good luck continues and I’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief after we fully unpack when we get back home later today.

Last full day in Paris: beautiful food and floral displays, La Biblioteque Sainte Genevieve, and Place Vendome

I don’t know how it seems like even the littlest displays of fruit and food are always so gorgeous here. There can simply be a florist shop on a street, and it will look like someone with a keen artistic eye spent a lot of time arranging all the flowers, pots, and accessories so that every object is just so to make the scene look perfect. Today, we ate at a cute little bistro called Le Petit Cler on Rue Cler, and on the same street there were endless little grocers, shops specializing in specific types of meats, seafoods, and other epicurean delights; each simple display looked like it could be photographed for a magazine. But all those foods, whether it was a display of fruit or a very earthy setup of mushrooms in baskets, all were edible and ready to be purchased, cooked with, and eaten.

There was also an architectural wonder I had on my list for a while that I never got around to: The Sainte Geneiveve Library just a block away from the Pantheon. The library is known to be a beautiful place to read and study and houses about two million historic documents that date back to the 9th century. What is crazy about this place is that as a student, you have to book a time slot and an actual assigned seat in the library, showing proof of your student status via a university ID. And any old visitors are not welcome at any time, as you cannot simply walk in. You have to book designated (and very limited) tours at specific hours, and the areas where you are allowed to stand/look are very small.

I didn’t do my research on this beforehand and thought we could just walk in. Alas, my timing was fortuitous because as I poked my head in to ask the security guard if we could enter, a library employee had just come back from her break. Without hesitation, she ushered me in, telling me in French that they usually don’t do this, but she’d make an exception for us given we were tourists from out of town. We got to stand in the same limited standing area overlooking the reading rows. And I looked up and snapped a few photos of the big windows, reading rows, and interior. And I remembered how I first learned about this library: the Boston Public Library, very well respected for its architecture both on the exterior and interior, was modeled after La Biblioteque Sainte Genevieve.

In the evening, after a last stop at the Paris Christmas markets, we walked through Place Vendome on our way back to the hotel for the night. Paris is one of those global cities that really takes Christmas seriously: all the department store facades were decked out in holiday cheer, and the plaza of Place Vendome and the shops that lined it were the definition of Christmas’s “merry and bright.” The lights twinkled all along the plaza, and it even had this beautiful children’s carousel with endless surrounding yellow and white twinkling lights, wreaths, and glittering Christmas trees.

While walking through the plaza, I actually thought about my mom and how even before she became a Jehovah’s Witness, she never enjoyed Christmas. She used to find the entire holiday a chore, from buying and wrapping gifts to making food to even having a Christmas tree with lights on in the living room. She used to insist that if she were sitting or lying down in the living room that the Christmas tree lights had to be turned off. She would complain and say, “They hurt my eyes! Shut them off!” So when she started studying to become a JW, it was an easy argument for her to completely nix any Christmas tree and lights. And while walking through Place Vendome, I just felt a little sad for her. Had she experienced so much trauma and hate in her life that she couldn’t find it in her heart to embrace this one “merry and bright” season of the year, especially since she knew her kids loved it so much?

But that’s why we learn from the past and try to create better experiences for our future. It’s why I’m so happy that I can create new family traditions for the own family I’ve chosen and formed and move away from all that inherited negativity of the past.

Strasbourg mini Christmas village for littles, delicious pastries and crepes, and tea back in Paris

Strasbourg was a magical place during our Thanksgiving week, an enchanting Christmas wonderland that I’ll likely remember forever. What also made it so memorable was how child friendly it was. When we first arrived, there was an area in front of one of the markets that had a bunch of wooden boards laid out. I assumed it was likely a mini Christmas village for littles that they’d build. Just hours later, the entire kids’ village was constructed, complete with multiple sturdy wooden houses, fancy rooftops, and even little fireplaces with lanterns, Christmas decorations, and stockings hung up. All the families that passed with young children let their children run in and embrace the fun. Kaia had a little devious mind of her own: she grabbed one of the lanterns, took it into a little house, then shut the door. Clearly, she was up to no good because when we opened the door, we discovered that she had tried to pick apart the inside of the lantern and disconnect it. One of the Christmas mini village workers came over to lightly scold her in broken English, telling her this was, “No good, no good!”, to which Kaia simply responded with a cheeky grin and ran off giggling.

What was also fun was having my French listening and speaking comprehension slowly return bit by bit. We popped into a little patisserie and asked if they had their famous almond croissants left after a lunch at an Alsatian restaurant. The employee responded in French, saying that they had run out of almond croissants, but they still had almond and chocolat croissants left if I’d be interested. My response in my head was, “Uhhh, YEAH!” and I told her that I’d definitely like one. That creme d’amande et chocolat croissant was one of the most delicious ones we’ve eaten. The almond filling was different than the ones we’ve had back in New York in that it was a whipped almond cream filling, like a cross between blended almond paste, cream, and custard. The end conclusion: it was extremely decadent and flaky, just as a French croissant should be.

While in France, while we do enjoy decadent croissants and pastries, what we also enjoy that we never get back home are the simplest dishes, like crepes with butter and sugar or with Grand Marnier and nutella. I love crepes and how simple and delicious they are; they really don’t use that many ingredients, but they’re always so satisfying and light. I used to make them all the time when I was in high school, but since then, I’ve never bothered making them since the effort that goes into them is better for a crowd. And sometimes, you just want someone else to make you something simple and delicious. We enjoyed these crepes on our last night in Strasbourg while Pookster napped peacefully in her stroller.

Today, we headed back to Paris by high-speed train. And my first stop with Kaia after we checked into the hotel was to the closest Mariage Freres tea salon in the 9eme arrondissement. I had last visited a Mariage Freres tea salon back in 2015 when Chris and I last came together. And lucky me, even since then, I’ve had Mariage Freres tea since Chris had come to France on a couple work trips and brought them back. This afternoon, I went row by row, tin by tin, to smell all these beautifully blended teas. I usually detest tea blends with things added other than tea leaves (I’m usually a tea purist), but Mariage Freres truly masters the art of tea blended with fruit and other aromatics. Kaia, of course, wanted to be part of the action, so as I sniffed the tins, she immediately wanted to sniff right after and tell me if she liked the fragrance or not. I ended up leaving with four 100-gram bags of tea, one of which I would give away as a gift.

While tea the prices predictably had gone up, and there has always been a surcharge to have the tea packaged into a gift tin, I was not necessarily expecting the surcharge to go up to 6 euros per tin. This is annoying not just for cost (especially since some of the teas are just 10-11 euros for 100 grams, so an over-50 percent surcharge just for the freaking tin!), but also for packaging reasons. It’s far easier to pack a bag of loose leaf tea than it is a rounded wide tin of tea into your luggage. So even though one of the teas was a gift, I figured my recipient wouldn’t mind not having a tin.

I also noticed something else interesting with the tea containers: now, you can purchase what they consider their “vintage” tea tins and even porcelain jars! The prices for these lacquered jars, bottles, and metal tins range from 15 euros all way up to (gasp!) 150 euros each. This cost is only for the vessel itself; you will have to pay extra for the tea to be added to it. This sounded completely insane to me, as you must REALLY love this brand the history of Mariage Freres to pay those types of premiums just for the tea containers themselves.

France is truly a treasure trove for all things epicurean, as well as all things tangentially related, like beautiful scents and pleasing aesthetics. I’ll never get bored of eating and drinking in this gastronomic capital of the world.

Christmas carousels, Kaia’s love of pretzels, and the most decadent little Madeleine cookie I’ve eaten in my life in Strasbourg

Merry-go-round carousels are often an image that arises in one’s mind when thinking of childhood, at least in the West. Most of us who were raised in western countries can recall times in our childhood when we rode on top of a carriage, horse, or unicorn on a happy merry-go-round with fun, festive lights, colors, and music. As someone who is well into her 30s and quickly approaching her 40s, I hadn’t actively thought about carousels until we took Kaia on her first one in Central Park during a play date with her bestie from her last school and his parents back in the spring of this year. Then, she was absolutely terrified and screaming her entire first ride with me, which was miserable to say the least. But she’s changed quite a bit in the last 6-7 months. Now, she sees carousels, immediately gets excited, and demands to get on them ASAP. She got to experience four rides on the main Strasbourg Christmas market carousel; four rides that she never, ever wanted to end, likely because the ride was like magic to her. Currently, she doesn’t seem that into the horses or unicorns, but she rather sit in the vehicles when on offer, particularly the fire trucks and airplanes predictably. She LOVES fire trucks and airplanes in real life, so that came as no surprise to us.

Strasbourg during Christmas time is truly a magical place, likely one of the most fairy tale-esque Christmas market experiences we’ve ever had. And the carousel rides and its brilliant lights and decor added to the festive and fairy tale feel. Here we are, as “those parents” who are excited to get just the right pictures and videos of our happy and giggling child on her magical fairy tale merry-go-round rides. Watching her on the carousel rides all those times and trying to capture the moment made me feel really happy, too. It was almost like I was reliving my own childhood through her, but in a much happier and fulfilled way. I have mixed feelings about my own childhood. Of course, I have lots of happy and heart-warming experiences I remember. But I also remember lots of things that I frankly should never have experienced or had to deal with. And so because of that, I feel even more joy observing my own child in her happy moments because it’s like a reminder to me to not repeat all the intergenerational trauma that I’ve inherited.

Some other fun tidbits from the last day: Kaia took a very long nap during one of our Strasbourg days. When she woke up, it was already early evening, and the sun had gone down, so it was quite dark. She immediately saw a food stand at a market with pretzels and asked if she could have one. This was much to Chris’s chagrin, as he absolutely detests pretzels of any and all kinds and begrudgingly agreed that we’d get her one. As long as I have known Chris, he has gone on mini rants about how plain and boring pretzels are, that they’re a total waste of space in the food world and are the epitome of blandness. While all of that may be true, when your child wants one and is famished… well, you kind of… should probably give in and just get her fed.

One of the boulangeries I had originally bookmarked for our Strasbourg trip, Au Pain de Mon Grand-Pere, has three locations in Strasbourg and is quite popular for their baguettes, pain au chocolat, and eclairs. While I’m generally not a “chain” person while I travel, I do make exceptions for specific types of food. And well in France, by default the food quality is so much higher than in the U.S. because of greater emphasis on food and quality of ingredients, so we popped in today to pick up a couple things. Originally, I was in line just for a pain au chocolat (which was delicious and very satisfying), but what I decided to pick up on a whim was a fat madeleine cookie that was beckoning to me under the glass. I threw that in at last minute while I was being rung up at the cash register. My pain au chocolat and madeleine didn’t even cost 2 euros, which was the first thing that stunned me. The second thing that stunned me, though, was exactly how delicious this madeleine was. It had a slight crunch on the outside, was soft and cake-like on the inside, and what really stood out was how buttery this whole thing was. The butter just sang in my mouth when I chewed. This could have been the best madeleine of my life.

If you did not grow up in France, you may have first heard of the madeleine cookie (really, it’s a cake disguised as a cookie in terms of size/shape) from Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time novel. The madeleine in the story serves as an object that triggers memories of the past. The main character eats a madeleine dipped in a tea and is then immediately transported back to his childhood. This is known as the “Proust Phenomenon.” I have always loved the idea of madeleines, but honestly, when I’ve had most, they’ve just been passable. This one I’ve eaten in Strasbourg will remain emblazoned in my mind as the very best madeleine i’ve ever eaten… at the nice ripe age of 38.