A day in La Antigua, Guatemala

Our driver took us for a day trip to Antigua today. Antigua is the third capital of Guatemala, from 1543 to 1773, and is famous for its Baroque-style architecture from that period. It has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site since then and is the capital of the Sacatepequez Department (or state). You can feel the aura of Spanish colonial times while walking the cobbled streets here. A number of ruins have survived that you can visit, as well as plazas with large fountains and multiple cathedrals. The city is flanked by multiple volcanos, including Agua Volcano, Fuego Volcano, and Acatenango Volcano. Antigua, like the town of San Juan La Laguna, is also colorful and very picturesque. It definitely had the most number of tourists of all the areas we have visited thus far on this trip.

One thing I will say about cobbled streets: they are absolutely NOT ideal for a stroller. I am not even completely certain I would call all of these cobbled streets “cobbled.” A lot of the “cobbles” look like they were just broken stones or rocks that were never properly repaired, which is fine if you are going for an old colonial feel, but pretty terrible if you are pushing a wheeled device. We also walked up about 10-15 minutes to Cerro de la Cruz, a beautiful view point of Antigua and its volcanoes. The cobbled streets and the steps to get up to this viewpoint prevented us from letting Kaia sit in the stroller for most of this visit to Antigua, and she was definitely not a happy camper. She demanded all day to sit in the stroller and would whine and whinge endlessly when we told her she couldn’t sit on it. This meant she had to walk more, which most definitely tired her out, but at least it meant she was active and would sleep well in the evening. I have a video of her protesting walking up to the viewpoint, as well as several videos of Chris running away with the stroller while Kaia is trying to catch up to sit on it. I hope these make for future laughs when she is older and can look back on her younger self, refusing to move.

Another thing about being a toddler mom, or a mother in general: I think I just have to keep telling and reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how much I do or what I do or sacrifice for my child… because no matter what, they will never “repay” me to match it (mind you, I never expected this anyway), nor will they ever express the “gratitude” that we may think we deserve. Every time I asked Kaia to pose and take a picture with Daddy, she was happy to do so. She would pose, smile, and look at me and my phone taking the photo. Multiple times when Chris attempted to photograph me with Kaia, she refused, yelling, screaming, and crying. She said she didn’t want to take a photo with me. Chris got several classic shots of my posing and smiling, with Kaia very visibly screaming and/or attempting to run away from me.

It’s okay. I accept it. Sometimes, I laugh it off. Other times, I actually do feel a little hurt. It doesn’t matter what a mother does, but a child will never fully, completely appreciate it, even after s/he may have their own child in the future. I am sure my own mother feels the same way about me. And the cycle continues. C’est la vie.

Lake Atitlan: the lake that is “between the waters”

Today, we hired a driver to take us to Lake Atitlan, which given the condition of local roads and traffic, took about three hours to get to Panajachel from our hotel in Guatemala City. Locally referred to as “Pana,” Panajachel is the main hub to catch a boat, public or private, to head to various Maya villages along the lake. Our driver recommended that we take a boat to the Tz’utujil Maya village of San Juan La Laguna, famous for its weaving cooperatives specializing in naturally dyed textiles, art demonstrations and galleries, and abundance of cafes and restaurants. San Juan is on the southwest shores of Lake Atitlan and is known for its bright colors and endless murals everywhere. Lake Atitlan, meaning “between the waters” in the Nahualtl language, is one of the most important national and international tourist attractions in all of Guatemala. It’s also known as the deepest lake in all of Central America (it has a maximum depth of 340 meters (or 1,120 feet), with an average depth of 154 meters (505 feet). The lake basin is volcanic in origin, filling a large cauldron-like hollow that formed after a volcanic eruption about 79,500 years ago. This was likely our very first time seeing and being on a boat going across a volcanic lake!

San Juan La Laguna was really as colorful as our driver said it was. Of all the places we have previously visited, I was reminded most of Guatape, a small town we visited while on a day trip from Medellin, Colombia, in May 2019. Guatape is known as one of the most colorful cities in all of Colombia, if not South America. San Juan felt similar but with far more hand painted and extremely elaborate murals. Here in San Juan, we saw almost life-like paintings of local, tropical birds, various flora and fauna, and scenes of indigenous Maya culture, clothing, and dance. We saw detailed hand-painted depictions of Maya bees and honey, as well as of the entire coffee growing and production process. We did a Maya bee farm tour (I had no idea how small these little guys were — and although they do not sting, they do bite; I have a feeling I got a few bites while there!), had a mini cacao/chocolate tour complete with some tastings, and did some mini hiking around the town. During our uphill walks, we also got to see avocados and mangoes growing everywhere. When we were leaving the honey farm, we stumbled upon some horses, who were taking a break and snacking on some of these avocados!

As a side note, I’ve noticed that avocados are not prepared quite the same way here as they are in Mexico. When we’ve been presented with avocados here, they are usually sliced up to be added into stews and soups, or it is simply mashed with at most, a pinch or two of salt. The avocado fattiness and its pure taste are all that come through — true delicious simplicity. There is not much in the way of spices, onions, or lime juice added. I’ve been adding mashed avocado to my morning tostada at our hotel breakfast buffet (along with some mashed black beans, a little scrambled egg and shredded local cheese), and I’ve noticed that the avocados in Guatemala seem to be sweeter here than back home. This is not to say that I do not like the Mexican avocados, but more that the Guatemalan avocados have a sweeter note as the end taste in my mouth. The majority of the avocados we get in the U.S. are grown in Mexico.

When we arrived at the lake just before 11am, it was so calm and still – a perfect blue skied day with a few clouds floating about. It was quite a different story as we were leaving San Juan to get back on the boat to Panajachel just after 4pm — it was storming, with rain pouring down from the sky seemingly in buckets! It made for a literally bumpy, slightly tumultuous ride along the lake. Our boat guy had to cover the front of the boat with a big clear tarp to prevent the three of us from getting completely drenched. Kaia seemed to revel in the tumult, giggling and shrieking non-stop with every bump, jump, and push.

It would have been fun to spend more time in San Juan to more closely peruse the art, weaving, and intricate bead work, but alas, we only had the day. And then, a long drive back to Guatemala City awaited us.

Maya Civilization and modern day Guatemala

In school, you learn a lot of abstract concepts. You also learn about ancient civilizations that no longer exist and buildings in far away places that seem, well, very far away. And then, you sit there as a complacent child/teenager and wonder how it pertains to your own young life and existence. But I still remember when I was in my freshman year of high school, and I took Advanced Placement (A.P.) Art History. One of the periods I really enjoyed was learning about the Byzantine Empire and of course, the famous and gorgeous Hagia Sophia, built in AD 537, now still standing in modern day Istanbul, Turkey. At the time, the building was considered particularly impressive because people wrote that it changed the history of architecture forever. It had a large dome and extremely intricate mosaics that were considered a feat at that time in both engineering and artistry. At that time when I learned about the Hagia Sophia, at ages 14-15, I still hadn’t left the country. I didn’t have a passport. I had no idea when I would ever leave the country, and I really wasn’t sure when, if ever, I’d go to Turkey to see this spectacular mosque. So when I finally did make my first trip to Turkey in 2011 when I was 25 years old, I was giddy with glee. When I visited the Hagia Sophia and the Blue Mosque, I was just in awe. I walked around feeling like a little child, eyes wide with wonder at all this architectural beauty. I didn’t even care that as a woman, I had to cover my head with a scarf to get in — none of that mattered to me. I felt so lucky, so privileged, to finally see these famous, incredible feats of architecture in real life after learning about them in school years ago. What was once so obscure, so foreign, and so far away, was something that I was literally standing in the middle of. If only all of learning about history could feel like that!

This trip, we’re not seeing any ancient cities or monumental feats of architecture. Unfortunately, Tikal, the ancient Maya “city” still standing in Guatemala, is too far away by car from Guatemala City, where we are based, and would have been more efficient as a flight. But what we have been exposed to is a lot of Maya influenced architecture. From the moment you step out of the Guatemala City airport, you see hints of Maya sculpture and architecture everywhere, even on basic business buildings and banks. Maya glyphs are on random walls that you pass as you walk through the city. If you are in certain small towns, like along Lake Atitlan or even Antigua, when you listen closely, you may even hear people conversing not in Spanish, but in Kaqchikel and Ixil, native Mayan languages.

It’s been said that the Mayans were recognized as the first people to use chocolate. They were the first civilization to cultivate cacao beans and create a frothy drink from them; it was considered a “food of the gods,” a special occasion drink like a fine, aged wine or champagne would be today. Early records of Maya marriages in Guatemala indicate that in some regions, a woman would have to make the cacao and prove that she could make it with the proper froth on top. And chocolate shows up in lots of Guatemalan cooking. It’s mixed with meats and then stuffed in tamales and variations of tamales, it’s used in mole de platano, which is stuffed sweet, fried plantains in a chocolate-based sauce, and it’s also used in various meat stews.

Before planning this trip, I knew very little about Guatemalan cuisine. But given its geography, it makes sense that it would be a bit of a mash-up of Mexican, surrounding Central American (there are lots of tortillas, pupusas, and tamales here!), and ancient Maya cuisine. So far on this trip, we’ve already had a couple of heavily Maya influenced Guatemalan dishes. At our first dinner last night, we had hilachas, which is a shredded beef stew cooked in a tomato and tomatillo based sauce. And for a morning snack at the local mercado earlier today, we enjoyed a bowl of pepian, which is considered the national dish of Guatemala: it’s a rich stew, usually with chicken as its base, made with a mix of red and black chilies, sesame seeds, cilantro, tomatoes, and tomatillos, all individually roasted to build a complex flavor profile and then blended into a thick, deep brown colored stew. We were told that we know it’s a legitimate pepian if the stew comes out with a brown color. Even though there’s technically no chocolate in this stew, when we sat down and enjoyed it at a market stall, accompanied with rice and freshly handmade, thick tortillas (tortillas are not made with a press here the way they typically are in Mexico; they are fully hand formed and patted down!), it tasted like chocolate was there. The flavor was likely coming from the roasted chilies; it reminded me of some of the delicious moles we’ve savored in Mexico and in the Bronx. And at the hotel tonight, we were able to try a small serving of rellenitos de platano, which is a dish of ripe plantains stuffed with black beans, then covered in sugar; it’s supposed to be one of the most popular desserts in Guatemala. It appears that it’s not just East and Southeast Asians who use beans (protein!) in desserts!

The ancient cities of Tikal and Chichen Itza may no longer exist. But their existence still murmurs on through their carvings, artwork, and culinary influences. It’s definitely different than what we are used to eating and what we had previously been exposed to. All of this — from seeing Maya glyphs to thinking about ancient Maya cities to tasting Maya influenced cuisine — it makes me wonder how we can make history education more approachable, more palpable, more relatable, so it doesn’t seem like it’s this far away, unrelated period of time from us today.

Traveling to Guatemala this Memorial Day weekend 2025

Last year, we went to El Salvador for an extended Memorial Day weekend. This Memorial Day weekend, we are visiting its northwestern Central American neighbor, Guatemala. Central American countries like El Salvador and Guatemala are often in American news media because of migrants (coming into the U.S.), crime, civil unrest, and guns. This then makes Americans believe that these countries are unsafe and not “worth” traveling to. The sad thing about that, though, is that the majority of the guns that exist in countries like Guatemala are actually legally imported and supplied by the U.S. It’s almost like the U.S. is encouraging violence and unrest in these countries. There’s a lot to unpack there that I don’t have the desire to get into here (and bluntly, I clearly don’t have the expertise to discuss). I don’t feel that bothered by these things in the news, though, because I also remember and know how the U.S. is portrayed outside the U.S. Other countries have issued travel advisories to their own citizens that travel to the U.S. is unsafe. Many people living abroad I knew and was connected to during the first Trump administration said that they refused to travel to the U.S. during his first term because of politics and his constant spewing of racist, bigoted hatred; I can empathize with this (plus, it’s not like the U.S. is the only place to travel to; the rest of the entire world is there for you to visit if you so wish!). It’s common to be fearful of the U.S. as a non-American outside the country when all you hear about are the mass shootings, especially at schools, the unchecked ownership of guns, and the general acceptance of assault weapons for personal ownership. I’ve read travel forums of people voicing concerns of U.S. travel, and some even say they worry about leaving their hotel and just randomly getting shot on the street in broad daylight. I’m sure plenty of non-Americans think the U.S. is just as unsafe as the average ignorant American thinks that El Salvador or Guatemala are unsafe.

So, I don’t really get fazed when people question why we go to El Salvador or Guatemala, or ask me if I think it’s safe enough. We got similar questions and comments when we went to Colombia for Memorial Day weekend 2019. Today, just six years later, all I seem to hear about are family trips, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and guy friend groups’ golf outings to various cities across Colombia. It’s not like we’re going to Russia, Sudan, or Syria right now. Some of my friends know better now than to ask me annoying questions about safety of a country after a trip has already been booked (also, think about it this way: if we knew a place really was in a war zone, do they think we’d actually be stupid enough to book a trip there?!); instead, they respond to my sharing that I’m going to said country with no words at all, a simple “OK,” or a thumb’s up emoji (if on text). I think I actually prefer it that way.

Since the pandemic “ended,” American tourists have been flooding popular tourism destinations like Japan, France, and Italy. Japan has reportedly gotten so overwhelmed by the volume of tourists coming in and have implemented surcharges for some tourist sites for international travelers. I still remember when we visited northern Italy in November 2017, a season that is considered “low season.” We started in Milan, went to Bologna and Modena, then ended our Thanksgiving week in Venice. Milan was fun. I especially loved Bologna (it was so delicious!). Modena was a day trip to have a sumptuous midday meal at the famous Osteria Francescana. But Venice, by far, was one of the most miserable experiences for me as a tourist, because it was just so crowded. I remember walking in the main square and feeling like a sardine because that was how packed it was — during low season. I recognize it sounds bratty and overly privileged for me to complain about the volume of tourists in a popular tourist destination when I myself was a tourist there, but I suppose the reason I thought about this in the context of Guatemala or El Salvador travel is that it’s refreshing to visit places that are slightly off the beaten path, where I know that I won’t be herded like goats, shoulder to shoulder, with other visitors, where I feel like I can have some breathing space and not be taking the exact same pictures as everyone else.

There is a lot to see in the world. I won’t live long enough to visit every inch (or centimeter) of the world, but it’s an adventure to see as much as I possibly can of it and try to breathe it all in. It’s also fun to taste as much of it as possible and see how different cultures use the same or similar ingredients or produce.

Ending our road trip with a Costco visit in East Lyme, CT

Our last visit to Costco was in October, when we did a road trip up to Albany, New York, so with this car trip, it was once again time to stock up. We got our usual items, like stocking up on meat, vegetables, and frozen peas and fruit. I also got a really good deal on an Australian boneless lamb leg, as it was six dollars off! But these are a few interesting items I hadn’t seen before that we also picked up for the first time:

  1. Terra Delyssa organic extra virgin olive oil from Tunisia: A crazy deal at $14.99 for two 1-liter dark glass bottles. There is a QR code on each bottle you can scan, and once you enter your lot number on the bottle, it takes you through the entire process from the time it was analyzed and bottled and taken to you! If all the information was true, then these would, by far, be the freshest bottles of olive oil we’ve ever owned – they were bottled in February of THIS YEAR. That’s crazy fresh!
  2. Kirkland Signature brand organic dried tart montmorency cherries: I LOVE dried sour cherries. It’s one of the main ingredients in the original Eleven Madison Park granola, which they present to you in a mason jar as a gift after your meal. But they are so expensive, so I rarely buy them. This bag was quite a steal at 20 ounces (567 grams) for only $10.99. I am definitely using these for granola and future baking, but I would even be happy to snack on them and give to Kaia as a treat.
  3. Tropical Fields brand soft dried durian – Seven 1.76 oz. packages for (net 12.35 oz / 350g) for $11.39. Dried durian is a thing now?! UPDATE: This was delicious! It’s lightly sweetened and has the expected delicious pungent flavor and fragrance that is characteristic of durian. It’s pretty much like durian in fruit roll-up form, except that here, it’s actually almost 100 percent fruit. It has this addictive chewy texture. There are only five small squares of durian per pack, so you can’t get too addicted to this and over eat it even if you wanted to.
  4. Sencha Naturals Organic Everyday Matcha – 12 oz / 340g for $19.99. I wasn’t originally going to buy this since I already have eight different loose leaf teas at home that are nowhere near finished, but Chris talked me into buying it given there may be tariffs in the future that might impact my tea spending. It didn’t take too much convincing, as this was an extremely good value.
  5. Artikaas brand black garlic gouda cheese – this huge block was $10.59. I love trying a new cheese at Costco. My go-to buy is usually the 24-months aged parmigiano reggiano – it’s only $12.49/lb.

Newport visit, rabbits, and dandelions at the Cliff Walk

The last time we came to Newport, it was just weeks after Ed had died. I was walking around like a zombie, seeing him and signs of him almost everywhere I went. I remember when we struggled to find parking somewhere, we eventually found it on a street called Edward Street. I also felt like I was hallucinating and thought I was hearing his voice or seeing his face in places where he obviously was not.

It’s a very different visit this time with Chris’s parents and Kaia. After having coffee at a cute France-summer-house-style coffee shop and eating lunch at a popular brunch spot, we dropped Chris’s parents off at The Breakers (the Vanderbilt summer mansion) and we explored the town. We walked through and around the exterior of the International Tennis Hall of Fame. I learned about court tennis and how only bougie people seem to know and play it now, and rarely given the rarity of the court tennis court’s existence (this is most definitely the definition of “if you know, you KNOW”). And Kaia saw wild rabbits running around the grounds and stooped and sat to watch them, waiting for them to come back out (spoiler alert: they did not come back out). Kaia was carrying her pink bunny, Irene, as a comfort stuffed animal on this trip. She was running around with Irene, and when I suggested to Kaia that she show the other bunnies her own bunny Irene, she actually smiled and did just that: she sat down on the ground by the grass where the rabbits were and stuck Irene out to show the bunnies. And then she waved to the rabbits to come out. I couldn’t help but laugh and admire how adorable this whole sight was.

After Chris’s parents were done with their mansion visit, we walked along the famous Cliff Walk. Kaia enjoyed running around and picking dandelions, occasionally plucking off their petals and letting them fly away. This was her very first time picking flowers, even if they were weeds, and she really seemed to enjoy it. I picked them with her and we shared our dandelion bouquets. She tried to add grass to them, and well, I had to veto those additions.

Parenting littles goes so quickly. We always grumble at all the annoying parts of parenting, like dealing with the tantrums, the messy eating, the potty training, the bedtime routine and how long it takes. But what I hope to remember most about this period of raising Kaia and watching her grow are these little moments: Kaia proudly showing her pink Irene to the two wild rabbits and grinning ear to ear; Kaia discovering dandelions and that you can pick flowers, and then happily looking all over the grassy paths to search for and pluck them; Kaia greedily grabbing all the clams and so daintily pulling them out from the shells and shoving them in her mouth. These are the moments I would bottle up and want to save forever and never forget.

Long weekend with the in-laws to Rhode Island, with an important stop in New Haven on the way

One of the things I loved about the East Coast when I first moved here was how easy it was to state hop. Depending on where you are, it could take an hour or even less to get to another state. It could take 20 minutes to take the PATH train from Manhattan into Hoboken or Jersey City. It could take a couple hours by car, train, or bus to get from Massachusetts to New Hampshire or Rhode Island. Maine can be done as a day trip from many places in Massachusetts. California is a large and long state; it wasn’t as easy to do that living there. So all these small states in the northeastern part of the U.S. always fascinated me. I tried to take advantage and see as much as I could of the northeast, while also lamenting that so many people who live here have zero curiosity about neighboring states and people.

At this point, Chris’s parents have most likely seen more of New York City than most New Yorkers. They have definitely seen more of the U.S. than most Americans. They take side trips on their own through the U.S. when they come visit us, but they also get taken on side trips, sometime via road, other times via plane, by us. In recent years with Kaia, we’ve always done a road trip and rented a car. This year, Chris decided on Rhode Island. So it will be our first time back in the smallest state of the country since August 2013.

On our way there, we stopped in New Haven, Connecticut, for some apizza. Little do many people outside of Connecticut know, but New Haven is oftentimes thought of as the pizza or “apizza” capital of the United States (New Yorkers and Jersey people most definitely debate this). New Haven style pizza consists of thin-crust, coal-fired Neopolitan pizza. And one of my most favorite pizzas in all the world is most definitely the white clam pizza: it’s pizza with oregano, grated cheese, chopped garlic, fresh littleneck clams. It does not have tomato sauce, which is why it’s called a “white pie,” and it’s just freaking perfect. Littleneck clams with garlic and cheese is like a menage a trois that dreams are made of. Our first time to New Haven was in November 2020 during the pandemic. We did a day trip to New Haven and went to the three most well known New Haven style pizza joints: Frank Pepe, Sally’s Apizza, and Modern Apizza. We went to Modern last in that visit, which meant that we had already had so much pizza that we didn’t quite appreciate it as much, so we went to Modern as our only pizza stop on this visit. We got the white clam pizza with a small margherita, and amongst the five of us, we left satisfied, yet not stuffed. The pizza was even more delicious than I remember it, with a crust so crunchy yet chewy that I could easily have just eaten the pizza topping-less, and I still would have been happy.

We spent the evening in Fox Point in Providence, where we ate at Dune Brothers Seafood, their first location that has indoor seating (though tiny). I had whole scup fish (porgy!) for the first time and enjoyed it – the fattiness and texture almost reminded me of bluefish (though no one on the internet seems to agree with my assessment). Kaia devoured the littleneck clams appetizer all by herself; she’s most definitely a clam loving baby and enjoys the thrill of opening the clams and pulling them out of the shells. But what was the even bigger highlight of dinner was the indulgent lobster roll Chris and I shared. I always prefer Connecticut style lobster roll (always warm, dunked in butter, on a toasted bun) over Maine style (chilled lobster meat, dressed in mayo with crunchy greens). This lobster roll was stuffed to the brim with huge chunks of both claw AND tail meat, warmed in butter along with various tasty spices; it was likely one of my all-time favorite lobster rolls next to Neptune Oyster in Boston. Though Neptune makes what is likely the best lobster roll in all of the US, I will never go back there because to this day, I remember it as of the very worst dining experiences of my life. I still remember being so angry about how rude the service was that I actually tipped them 11 percent (WHICH I NEVER DO).

And if that was not enough eating, down the street from Dune Brothers was this cute Aleppo Sweets Cafe I had on my list. They won a best new restaurants award in Providence in 2019 and look to be family owned. Though they have a full menu for lunch and dinner, we just went for after dinner caffeinated drinks and desserts. This place is clearly popular with locals because almost everyone around us walking down the street behind us also went into this place! We had a good start to our visit when Kaia ran into the florist shop next door (which I think are owned by the same people). The florist there was so kind that he gave her a fresh, long-stemmed iris, which captivated Kaia; she was so obsessed with her new fresh flower! We sat down at a table and enjoyed Arabic coffee, very strong ginger-cardamom-mint tea in a beautiful and large copper tea pot (brought back from Syria, and funnily enough, NOT for sale, as Chris’s dad liked it so much he asked if he could buy one!), and four different types of baklava and Syrian semolina cake. We loved the ambiance, furniture, decor, and the tea and coffee ware a lot, but the sweets were very surprising. They were stuffed to the brim with pistachios, but the shocking thing about them was that they were not too sweet. And I don’t think in my entire life I have ever described any baklava as “not too sweet,” or really, they were “just sweet enough.” They weren’t swimming or soaked to the brim in sugar. They didn’t make my teeth hurt like some of the Greek or Turkish spots we’ve had them from in Astoria or Bay Ridge. I subsequently read that this characteristic of being “not too sweet” is a defining trait of Syrian baklava and desserts. I am tempted to figure out how to recreate this Syrian harisa semolina cake at home and ensure it’s “just sweet enough.” It was so delicious and lightly spiced with cinnamon and vanilla. We shared four different types, so each of us had a bite each of the desserts, and amazingly, I think I could have had more bites and not felt overly sweetened or stuffed. I still cannot believe how long we talked about the copper tea pot…

There’s so much good food and culture all over the U.S. that it would be quite a shame (and loss) to just stay in one part or place forever and not experience all this richness and fun.

Missing brand-new black Uniqlo turtleneck from Japan is found after one year and three months!

Last year when we were coming back from Japan, we stuffed our car seat case with lots of extra things we had purchased there, which were mostly clothes and snacks. When we came back to New York and unpacked the car seat case, I was surprised to not find the Uniqlo ultra-warm Heat Tech black turtleneck I had purchased. It was brand new, never worn. I turned everything upside down to find it, yet the sweater was no where to be found. I became increasingly annoyed. I kept searching over the course of five days. Chris insisted that if it wasn’t there, it wasn’t there; he had seen me go through things more than four or five times and was pretty sure I had looked at everything. It was the one thing from our trip that was unaccounted for, and it bothered me to no end. I always hate it when I lose anything, even the smallest thing. It’s rarely about the value; for me, it’s about the mere principle of losing something. That sweater retails for about $25 USD in the States, and in Tokyo, I had gotten it for the equivalent of $9-10 USD. But I let go, as in reality, $9-10 isn’t an insane amount of money to lose.

Fast forward to today, and I asked our building porter to bring up our large suitcases in the building basement. I had seen an #ISO (# in search of) post in my local Buy-Nothing group for a car seat case for air travel. Chris confirmed he didn’t want to use ours anymore, so I decided to pass it on to the next Buy-Nothing neighbor. I had generously received ours from another neighbor, who had also only used it for one international trip. I took the car seat case out of the suitcase and fully unzipped it. I remembered the missing black sweater in this moment, and so, for good measure, I thoroughly patted down the inside of the car seat case one last time to ensure nothing was stuck in it. Suddenly, I felt a different cloth texture embedded in a compartment. Then, I turned the case upside down and shook the whole thing vigorously. And out came my black Uniqlo sweater, missing for the last year and three months!! I was so, so happy! I immediately picked it up and put it on, admiring myself wearing it in the mirror. My brand new black sweater was found!!

Sometimes, it’s the little things in life. And I truly do embrace these little things in the daily humdrum that is life. This one surprise find truly made my day today.

Family style eating goes awry (in a work setting)

I’ve spent almost 17 years working full time. My happiest times with my colleagues were likely for about two years while at my second company, and about 1.5 years at my last company. Both times, we had a good group of people of different backgrounds, from different parts of the country (and occasionally, world), most of whom loved food (and drink) and were just fun to be around. I didn’t always feel compelled to talk about only work with them. In both situations, I was often known as the “foodie,” so whenever group happy hours or dinners had to be arranged, I was given the responsibility (and privilege) to choose where we would eat/drink, and to make the reservation. Price was rarely an issue, and the company (or vendor) always paid for it. And most of those times, we would share food, and people would leave full and happy… and occasionally tipsy to drunk.

Well, fast forward to today, when I’m on my fifth year with my current company, and my entire team is fully remote. We don’t get to spend much in-person time together. If we have regular “catch-ups,” they are usually on Zoom and inevitably 99 percent about work. We don’t really know each other that well. Though most people know I’m into food and cooking, my manager has been told that he has to stay within really tight budget guidelines for team meals. So he half jokingly told me he doesn’t trust me choosing a restaurant for us, though he has no doubt it would be amazing. Given this, when we’ve had team meals out, he typically will choose a place off the cuff, and it’ll be fairly basic. Other people on the team have made side comments to me that our manager’s taste in food stinks (he is known for his addiction to Coke and eats way too much fast food, particularly chicken wings, burgers, and bad pizza), and that our team meals are rarely things to look forward to because of it. He has plenty of strengths; diversity in or knowledge of food is not one of them.

For this past Wednesday’s team meal, he chose a family-style Italian restaurant right next to our hotel. When I’ve had family-style Italian meals in the past with colleagues, the great thing was that whenever the powers-that-be ordered, we’d always have a good variety of dishes: starters, vegetables, pastas, proteins/plant-based proteins, dessert. I always felt like the meal was well rounded, and we always ate well. This time, however, it wasn’t that well rounded, and I felt limited because of the limited palates of my teammates.

We started with a caesar salad with croutons, which I loved because the caesar dressing was particularly pungent with extra, extra garlic. We got a “Tour of Italy” plate, which was essentially a mixed plate of cold cuts, antipasti, cut baguettes, and cheeses — this was pretty disappointing looking, and I didn’t touch this. Then, for mains we had… pasta. Just pasta. No parmigiano. No vegetables. Nothing else. Our manager chose four pastas: baked ziti (this felt like it was for toddlers with how basic it was; I wouldn’t even order or make this for Kaia), spaghetti bolognese, meatballs with vodka sauce and spaghetti, and carbonara. I insisted from the beginning that we must have clam linguine. The table was silent. No one wanted to eat clam linguine with me other than one other colleague. My boss conceded and said we’d get a smaller portion of the clam linguine just for my one clam-eating colleague and me. One colleague said she had a shellfish allergy. Another said shellfish made her mouth itchy. A third said she’d have some (just one bite; she ended up taking none). A fourth insisted she would try “just a small bite” and didn’t touch it. On a team of eight people, only two of us ate the clam linguine. It was freaking delicious, by far the best pasta on the table. There was so much leftover clam linguine (well, actually, we had so much leftover of ALL the pasta) that would ultimately go into the garbage bin. It always hurts a little to see how much food waste we generate at these team meals. But that is the way with corporate life and corporate dining out in general, sadly. We were served family style, so everyone got a little bit of each pasta (minus the clam linguine, which the two of us served ourselves) on our plates doled out by our server. But almost every single person looked like s/he barely ate half their plate. I had felt bloated most of the day, so I only ate my clam linguine and a bite each of the other pastas.

It feels spoiled and bratty to complain about this, especially given I’m traveling on my company’s dime and won’t be paying for any of my meals during this work trip. But I couldn’t help but feel annoyed at how unadventurous my colleagues were in terms of their palates and what they were willing to eat. I felt like I was the “different” one and slightly being “othered” once again, and in this case, it’s crazy because it’s just clams in pasta we are talking about! It’s like they generally lack curiosity about different foods… and perhaps it could even be extended to say that they lack curiosity about other cultures and the world outside their own bubbles. I mean, how else did we get into the crappy predicament we are in with our current government?

When your toddler tugs at your leg (and heart)

Since my first work trip this year in January when I went to Las Vegas, I decided to start recording short videos of myself to have Chris share with Kaia while I was away. I did the same while in Denver this week, and Chris always says she loves them. Chris also shares videos of Kaia talking about all kinds of things, as well as demanding a “video of mummy.” She was at backup care at her old school today since her current school is closed for parent-teacher conferences today. I got back in time to fully unpack, get dinner ready, and pick her up. She wasn’t expecting me at pickup time, but when she saw me enter the classroom, she wordlessly ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me. Then, she motioned her legs to indicate she wanted me to pick her up. I held her tightly while asking her temporary teacher how her day was, gathered her belongings, and we left.

Pookster didn’t say too much on the way home, but when I asked her if she missed me, she vigorously nodded her head to say yes. And when we got back home to eat dinner together, I had to break the news to her that Chris and I would be going out for a comedy show to see Kumail Nanjiani that evening, so her former teacher/babysitter would be coming to watch her. Unlike last week when she took the news in stride and confidently said she’d show her babysitter her toys and books, this time, she stuck her lower lip out and looked like she was going to cry.

“I don’t WANT mummy to go out and see friends!” Kaia yelled. She always thinks that when Chris and I go out without her, it’s “to see friends.”

Then when the babysitter arrived, Kaia got really upset and started balling. She was sobbing like crazy, demanding endless hugs and kisses from both of us. She kept pulling my leg and saying she wanted to come, too. Chris explained to the babysitter that Kaia hadn’t seen me since Monday morning, and I’d literally just come back about two hours ago. So Pookster only got to see me for less than an hour before I’d leave again. I felt terrible, but there was nothing else to be done. We went out, and Kaia had the evening with the babysitter.

When we got back from our comedy show, the babysitter told us that Kaia eventually calmed down, but she didn’t want to play or read or do anything with her. She lied on our bed for a bit, cuddling “mummy’s sweater.” Then, she demanded the babysitter change her into her pajamas. She got help with peeing in the potty, then went straight to bed alone. I suppose this is Kaia’s way of coping as a three-year-old, when she’s upset she doesn’t get mummy and daddy, but she doesn’t have a say in the matter.

Kaia stayed in her bed until just past 4am, when she walked into our room with her goodie bag and overalls (current obsession, thanks to Ms. Rachel), and tapped my face to wake me up. I pulled her into the bed and under the covers, where she held onto me tighter than she ever has before. It almost felt like she thought that the tighter she held onto me, then I’d never leave her side again. For a while, I just looked at her little face as she peered into my eyes with this huge grin. My baby was so happy to see me and be with me again, and I felt so touched. These are those moments of motherhood where I just feel like I’m going to melt into a pool of joy. These are the moments I look at her and think, wow. I’m just in awe of how someone so small and sweet can fill my heart with such immense love. Kaia Pookie is truly my greatest blessing and joy. I hope she always knows that. I remind her every day before bed.

Later this morning, once Kaia was all ready for school, Chris asked me what time Kaia came over. I told him. “You have to send her back!” he insisted. The last two nights, she apparently didn’t come to the bed at all while I was away. But given it was already past 4am, and given I hadn’t seen her since Monday, I indulged her and enjoyed the moment of snuggling with my sweet baby. Of course, I want to set boundaries with her, but other times, I just want to enjoy the moment and let my Kaia Pookie enjoy her safe place, which is in her parents’ bed, right in between the two people she loves the most.