Home alone in a big house that isn’t my own

When I was little, like most of us probably imagined, I thought I would eventually “grow up” and own my own home. I fantasized about how each room would have a different theme: one would be Chinese themed with Chinese calligraphy and landscape paintings; another would be Vietnamese with Vietnamese imagery; another would be beachy; one room would have a Moroccan theme (I just liked the Moroccan decor in restaurants). My dream house had large windows overlooking a beach, was two stories high with a staircase, and had at least one balcony on the second floor. And even back then, I imagined I’d have a massive kitchen. In my dreams then, it was a very white kitchen with large granite counters. I’d have a huge king size bed with a canopy over it. It would be dreamy and relaxing.

Well, I’m almost 37 now, and I don’t own a house. I don’t live in a house and live in an apartment. The idea of owning a house seems very daunting to me, not just from a cost standpoint but from a daily maintenance standpoint — cleaning, dusting, making sure everything’s working and not broken, updates and renovations, repairs — it sounds completely exhausting. But the other thing I think about is: how much space does a family of three (us) REALLY need? In the U.S. over the last several decades, homes (in suburbia) have gotten larger and larger, but the actual footprint of where family members go in their homes is actually quite small. What that results in is a lot of wasted space (and way too much clutter that gets accumulated since the more space you have, the more you think you need to fill it).

I thought about this as I walked around Chris’s parents’ large house this evening, all by myself. Ben was out with friends. I don’t think I’d ever been at their house alone at night before. Chris’s parents went out for dinner with their friends. Chris and Kaia went to a relatives’ house for a catch up, and I decided to stay behind because I just felt exhausted and wanted some quiet, alone time. In some rooms, I heard an echo as I walked through. It felt a little spooky to be in this huge house with so many rooms and things all by myself. Is this house old enough to have ghosts? What bugs are lurking around trying to get me? Oh, I did kill a huge fly that was buzzing around and driving me nuts that evening, plus 2 mozzies. It would be really overwhelming to have to manage and maintain a house of this size for myself and my own family. The space and the comfort of the space certainly come at a cost.

Mexican food in Melbourne

In all previous trips to Australia, we had actively avoided eating any Mexican food. The logic was: why would we eat Mexican food here when we can have great Mexican food (for obvious reasons, like proximity to Mexico) back in the U.S.? But in recent years, there’s been a huge surge in Mexican restaurants in Australia. Each time we’d come back, I’d notice more and more. I never seriously looked at the menus, but it was clear that the interest and trend were growing here.

Chris’s cousins organized a cousins dinner nearby for us, as they were being considerate and thoughtful that we had a baby, so they wanted to pick a restaurant that would be a quick drive back in case Kaia got too fussy with Chris’s parents on their own with her. I knew it was Mexican and didn’t really think much of it until we got to the restaurant. It was certainly outfitted the way you’d stereotypically imagine, with sombreros, brightly colored paintings, and cactus everywhere. When I opened the menu, I thought… oh great. There’s lots of things I’d expect on the menu, so I stuck with what seemed safe — two tacos, shrimp and fish, plus a nonalcoholic coconut/lime/pineapple drink.

Chris got jackfruit tacos, so we sort of shared our food. The tacos were absolutely horrendous – at least, the jackfruit ones were. They were mushy, the sauce was disgusting, and they were clearly canned jackfruit pieces. The shrimp and fish ones were decent, but considering how much they cost, I feel l like I could have made better Mexican food as a child than this. And the service was even worse than the food: they took our orders but warned us that the kitchen AND the bar were closing in the next 15 minutes (at 8pm?! We had just arrived at around 7:15!), so we had to make up our mind on regular food, drink, AND desserts then and there. The food took ages to arrive, and they arrived with our drinks and jugs of water. We had nothing to drink, not even basic water, until all the food arrived. I couldn’t even remember experiencing service so awful at a restaurant until that evening.

I normally never say anything about restaurants when it comes to Chris’s family’s gatherings because the main focus is not really the food — it’s about all of us getting together and catching up. Plus, I’m not technically a cousin, so why should my opinion overrule anyone? But after that experience… the next time someone tries to suggest Mexican here, I’m definitely going to have to chime in and veto it.

Neighborhood exploration in Melbourne

Most afternoons during our stays in Melbourne, we’ve still been exploring different neighborhoods this time around, just with the baby with us. While it is always enjoyable to see family and friends here, it’s also fun to be able to revisit old favorites, like Lamb on Chapel and Shandong Mama, and also try new restaurants and bakeries that have opened. It’s basically like an extension of what we do in New York — seeing new and different neighborhoods and trying new cuisines and restaurants. Most people don’t really know their own backyards, and so we actively try to do the opposite and know where we are traveling to as well as our own home base.

We’ve been telling Chris’s parents about all these new places we have visited, and they have laughed a bit, saying this is their own home but they haven’t been to these areas much. The ironic thing there is that they are quite adventurous and have literally spent their lives traveling the world, seeing new places, eating new foods, diving into totally different cultures. But when it comes to their own home base, they don’t really see much of it and say they don’t have much time to do it. In that sense, they’re not that different to the average person who doesn’t go outside of their own neighborhood or surrounding neighborhoods. But when we do bring the foods back home for them to try, maybe that will entice them to go back?

Family / baby friendly environment in Australia

At most places we have visited across three states, I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by the number of family friendly bathrooms that have been available. In Byron Bay and in Gold Coast, there have been family bathrooms where there was not just one changing station, but three or four; where the place where you would lay your baby to change their diaper even had cushions underneath to ensure their comfort. Some had big rollers to roll out paper towels to keep the area clean. Others had nappie/diaper-specific rubbish bins to toss soiled diapers. A few even had convenient pockets and pouches to place your diaper/wipes/diaper balm. One even had wipes (I wasn’t sure what they were made out of and whose hands had touched them, so I refrained from even looking at them to seriously consider using). Lots of stores even had ramps where you could easily roll a wheelchair or stroller. It kind of made me annoyed to think about exactly how unfriendly it is pretty much everywhere in the U.S. where we’ve gone. Granted, the diaper changing stage only lasts for a few years for kids, but still; no parent or caregiver wants to feel like they are unwelcome in a place simply because they have their diaper-wearing child with them.

Eating out with baby

Like most new, first-time moms who breastfeed, whether nursing or pumping, with our near-sightedness, we think that life will get easier when babies are less reliant on breast milk and start eating solid foods. What we seem to forget is that eating solids is a TASK; teaching your child to eat regular food, and eat it independently, literally takes years and years of work. And that work requires an insane amount of patience. And when they are in public or in the presence of others outside of their home environment, the amount of energy and time it takes increases exponentially because they are easily distracted and want to know everything that’s going on around them. That also means… YOUR eating as a parent/caregiver takes the backseat. So it’s no wonder why most of the time now, when I am watching her eat or feeding her in public, I end up eating most of my own food nearly cold. I also don’t get to savor and enjoy my food as much. But hey, everything has its time, its beginning and its end, and so this will just be a phase…. one that will take time. It is definitely a test to my patience, though, and can be wearing, especially since when I eat, it’s because I really like to eat, not because I’m simply eating for sustenance. But this is an investment of my time into my baby’s growth and character, and so I hope this all pays off eventually.

Blowout all over me, the car, and in the trunk in Gold Coast

Yesterday, on our first full day in the Gold Coast, Chris wanted us to go up to the mountains for a mini hike. That plan got dampened a bit, literally, when it started raining. And before that, it got dampened because Kaia was being especially fussy. I initially thought it was just teething because I already see two more teeth popping out on the top, plus she had been drooling a lot that morning. But after a while in the car seat in the car, I noticed she started straining. I figured she had a big poop to get out, but even after she finished straining, she started yelping even more than she normally does when fussing. So I did the unsafe caregiver task of taking her out of her car seat in a moving car and trying to soothe her. That worked for about five minutes, after which she started fussing even louder. And that was when the real excitement began: the unmistakable stench of human poop overtook our noses. And it got stronger and stronger… until I realized that the poop was so large that it had spilled out of her diaper, into her clothes, and then onto MY lap, and even all over the rental car seat belt!

Chris eventually found a safe spot to stop the car, which happened to be right next to a hotel, and he quickly got out, helped me clean up what parts he could on me and the car before making a bigger poop mess, and I got her cleaned up as much as I could in the trunk of the car, changing her diaper, giving her a new backup outfit, and cleaning my pants up as much as I could. In the process, we smeared poop in the trunk, which also had to be cleaned up, and I also got poop all over my shirt. And NO, I did NOT pack a backup outfit for MYSELF. They always say that when traveling with a baby, caregivers should always also pack a backup outfit for themselves for these exact reasons (or vomit), but… I didn’t, and I never had before. And this was the one time it could have come in handy.

So after doing a mediocre job cleaning up myself, I took Kaia in her stroller and myself into the hotel bathroom to clean up. I used an ungodly amount of wet paper towels and soap to clean her dress, my shirt, and pants as much as I could. I left that bathroom looking like I wet my own pants. But I had to do it, otherwise I would literally have been walking around in poop all day long. And it worked out.

Yes, it was a mess. Yes, it was unpleasant. But at the same time, it was also an adventure and a lesson to be learned. Always pack backup clothes for you and baby. You can never have enough backup wipes or hand sanitizer. and always pack a bag to store wet (dirty, poopy) clothes.

Going up to the Gold Coast and Byron Bay for the week

The first time I went on an airplane was when I was 13. My mom picked some fight with my dad about how he never takes us anywhere, and so he randomly decided to book a trip for the three of us to go to Las Vegas. That was also my first time leaving the state of California. Ed never wanted to go anywhere with our parents, so that’s why he stayed behind. My daughter is just over 1 year old, and the flight she took this morning from Melbourne to Gold Coast was her 9th flight, plus her first flight traveling in economy class. Her first eight flights were all in First or Business class. She’s having quite the jet-setting life already.

We arrived in Gold Coast, Queensland, this afternoon, and decided to spend the rest of the day on the resort property. Kaia enjoyed her very first Moreton Bay Bugs during our lunch at the hotel restaurant. These little crustaceans go by many names, including flathead lobsters, bay lobsters, and Moreton bugs. Moreton bay bugs live in deep water and most species can be found all along the Australian coast. The first time I’d ever seen them was when we were in Cairns in 2014 and had them at a restaurant. The second time I saw them was in Sydney at the fish market in 2015. They are cooked and prepared just like lobsters, and they’re a very expensive delicacy, one I had never seen or heard of outside of Australia. Similar to how she was with lobster, Kaia loved the bay bugs. Our plate had five of them, and she had one bay bug almost all to herself and gobbled it up! She seems to love all seafood she’s had so far — my sweet little foodie baby.

Rising inflation for food in Australia

While everyone back in the U.S. has been complaining endlessly about rising food costs in the last year, it seems like it may be impacting Australia far harder, especially being so far away from most of the world. It has not been uncommon for the cost of some basic food staples to go up anywhere from 3-4x. At Bun Bun Bakery, which we visited this past Monday, I had read on Google Reviews that just three months ago, the banh mi sandwiches cost $6. When we went, the sandwiches were $8 each. that’s a 33% increase in just three months, which is insane. And I have the faintest feeling that people’s salaries are not increasing at the same rate. Living in Australia already is so expensive, and this definitely makes everything worse for the average person here.

Going through the supermarket the other day was also crazy to see how much things like fruit and meat cost; but from my perspective, since $1USD = about $1.47 AUD, it’s almost like I get about a 35% discount every time I buy something. So I have to readjust it in my head every time.

The unanticipated “gifts” of a walk along the beach in Australia

When Chris suggested going on a walk our first afternoon back in Melbourne, I thought, why not? That sounds like a good idea to get some natural light into all three of us to help our bodies adjust to local time. We buckled Kaia into the stroller and went off towards Brighton Beach just a few blocks from his parents’ house. And while a walk along the water seemed like a tranquil, scenic, and fun thing to do to help us transition, the picture I had in my head of how it would go… is not exactly how it went.

Every time I opened my eyes to see or my mouth to talk, it was like a fly was aggressively trying to find its way in. And when there wasn’t a concern of a fly going right into my eye or mouth, they were trying to make their way into my ears and nostrils. The same was happening to Chris, except with him, they love to always perch all over his back and shoulders. It’s as though they know that he’s an Australian native, so they make a “home” of him as soon as he arrives. So while we both wanted to talk, it was so awkward because we were simultaneously fighting flies off the outside AND the inside of our bodies. For whatever reason, the flies did not seem to swarm Kaia. Maybe they prefer older humans?

Chris has also had to take some over the counter allergy meds because the Australian pollen has gotten to him. He’d been free of it for the last three years given we hadn’t been back, and now his body is finally being exposed to it once again.

In addition, Chris’s parents said that because it’s been wetter than usual, the “mozzies” or mosquitoes had been swarming the house. It’s like they just wait outside until someone opens the door and immediately fly in. In the last few days, I’ve killed about 6 just in the bathroom. What joy!

Australian mangoes – a whole new world

Coming to Australia in their summer is a treat for many reasons, but a huge reason, from a fruit perspective, that it’s an amazing time is that it’s MANGO SEASON here. There are many mango varieties that are delicious and ubiquitous here. The most common ones that you will see in grocery stores and markets will be the Kensington Pride, Calypso, R2E2, and honey gold. The ones we usually have at home that Chris’s mom so graciously buys and cuts up for us are the first three I listed. So when we were in Springvale yesterday, we stopped by a market to pick up some produce, and of course, that included mangoes. I was surprised by one variety I saw: it was a long, oblong-shaped mango that was a pale yellow color, and it was labeled either a maha mango or a maha chanok mango. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but I knew we had to try it, especially since I had never, ever seen it before on any previous Australia trip, and other than the last two years, we had been back every single year!! So we picked up three of these, plus 2 fat, fragrant and hefty sized R2E2s.

I later read more about the maha: it’s a hybrid variety that is originally from Thailand, a combination of the Sunset and Nang Klanwan mangoes that are Thai. However, the maha chanok are also grown in Australia and have been grafted onto Kensington Pride trees. It’s characterized by its unusual oblong shape, not to mention its very sweet and juicy flavor. It’s even better because the fruit has a very small and thin pit, making for the maximum amount of fruit to eat per piece. Can’t complain about that.

We haven’t cut it open yet, but I’m really looking forward to it, and potentially doing a side by side test against the other Australian varieties.