While Chris’s parents are in town, Chris wanted to do a side trip with them somewhere like we did last year via car, so we went to Baltimore this long weekend. Although Maryland isn’t that far away from New York City, the last time I was there was in 2011, when we went to Ocean City for Thanksgiving weekend. When I think of Maryland, I immediately think (of course) of the famous Maryland blue crabs, amongst other local and delicious seafood such as oysters and fish. But when I think of Baltimore, stereotypically, the other things that come to mind are the fact that Baltimore, also known as B’More or “Charm City,” is also unfortunately always featured as one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S. It is usually in the top five when it comes to violent crime as well as property crime. In addition, from what I’ve heard from friends and colleagues who either have lived or are living there, it’s a city that is deeply segregated by race; there are very clear “White” neighborhoods vs. “Black” neighborhoods. The other thing about it is that in some ways, driving and walking through parts of the city today certainly felt a bit like Detroit: you could have a really nice hotel right next door to a dilapidated, totally abandoned building with its windows fully blown out and the doors boarded up. That seemed to be quite the norm walking from street to street in the downtown area where we are staying.

The city clearly wants to attract more tourism, though. While walking in the tourist area right by the waterfront, we went into a huge new building that served as Baltimore’s visitors center. Inside, they had a lot of tourism information (obviously), as well as many interesting artifacts, displays, maps, photos, as well as free Wi-Fi and very clean restrooms. I’d never seen such a well done, modern, and clean visitors center in the U.S. like this one before.

The same area also had a lot of fun play structures and areas for young children. Most were for kids slightly older than Kaia, but she did get to enjoy Federal Hill and the swings up there. While up on the hill, a huge mosaic of the Aurora Borealis caught our attention, which was covering the American Visionary Art Museum facade: the mosaic features over 2,300 square feet of recycled bottles, glass, and mirrors, and was created with the help of incarcerated Baltimorean youth.

The other highlight of the day was definitely our first meal in Baltimore, which we ate at Nick’s Fish House. Given how popular this restaurant appeared on Google Reviews (5,700+ reviews at 4.5 stars), I wasn’t sure if we’d even get a table and might get turned away given we’re a party of five with no reservation. I got especially nervous when Chris went to park the car and we got in line to check in with the hostess, who I heard turned away the party of 4 ahead of us and said there was no table available for a party of their size for at least an hour. When we got to the front, the hostess got really oogly eyed when she saw Kaia… and somehow, out of nowhere, a prime table overlooking the water (that she apparently overlooked with the party ahead of us…) was available on her table diagram, and we were immediately seated! We really scored with this one, and I wonder if we can attribute it to Pookster’s cuteness!

So the last time (or really, only time) I’d had memorable, delicious crab cakes with lots of crab and little to no filler was when we were in Ocean City, Maryland, in 2011. And today, I was reminded of how good (and relatively inexpensive) they were because today, we had what is likely the next best crab cakes to the Ocean City ones: we got two fat Maryland blue crab cakes, and they were just STUFFED with crab and almost no filler at all! I couldn’t believe how meaty and juicy each piece was, and it was so, so fresh. The crab meat was flavorful and sweet. Kaia only had maybe two pieces of crab and preferred her mac and cheese, but I intentionally left two bite sized pieces of crab cakes until the very end of my meal so that I could properly savor them. These crab cakes were not cheap, but they were most definitely worth it. In addition, the fish and chips were done perfectly: the fish was done just enough to be flaky, juicy, and moist, and the outside was fried well — crunchy and not greasy. This place was incredible!

It doesn’t seem to matter whether I put thick layers of SPF 50 or a wide brimmed hat onto my baby: she always seems to tan so easily. Chris insists that she has inherited his melanin (even though she’s nowhere as dark as he is), and so she doesn’t need as much sunblock application as I like to put on. The thing is: even when you put on SPF 50, you are never 100% protected from the sun. An SPF that high protects you from about 97% of UV rays on average, so the sun is still penetrating the other 3%. Plus, the only real way to be protected from the sun is to be covered up with clothes, sunglasses, a hat, or to stay out of the sun completely. Just because you aren’t getting sunburnt does not mean that you are not getting any sun damage.

I want to make sure Pookster understands and practices safe sun exposure as early as possible. I don’t want her to think that tanning is a healthy practice, and I especially do not want her to think that she’s invincible from getting sunburned just because of her skin color. Clouds are not a protection from the sun! People still get tanned and burned on cloudy days! Covering up and applying sunscreen liberally are your best bets to keep sun burns and premature wrinkles and skin damage (and eventually, sun spots and freckles) away! No one ever educated me on this when I was little. I learned all of this on my own — oddly, through magazines like Teen and Seventeen when I was 11.

I was lazy about wearing a wide-brimmed hat up until very, very recently. I’ve always hated wearing a hat in the summer because my head sweats, and I feel even more gross as a result. But then it suddenly hit me last December: why are there are these new freckles and sun spots on my face? Wearing sunscreen and big sunglasses just is not enough as I ignorantly used to think, and these stupid spots are only going to get worse as I approach middle age! So even though I’ve been borderline obsessive about applying and reapplying sunscreen, I’ve finally admitted to myself that this just isn’t enough. As I have gotten older, I have also changed my stances on certain practices… like wearing hats. But I guess this also means I can just start buying more hats to add to my wardrobe. I just hope I don’t lose them like I have lost two before (one in South Africa, and one in India. I mean, I just wasn’t used to looking after a hat!).

Today, we took a day trip to Isla Mujeres, which is about 13 kilometers from Cancun. It’s a popular destination for locals for day trips, as well as Mexican and international tourists as a place to stay overnight or on vacation given the tranquil, clear waters and the fun island vibe. The island is small, but too big to walk all around it, so we rented a golf buggy to tour the island for the day. I wasn’t totally sure how we would get around when we got there. Chris left us at the ferry station to go find the best deal on a golf buggy, and when he returned, he pulled up in one.

The last time I was on a golf buggy was in 2017, when we were in Hamilton Island for Chris’s cousin’s wedding. Then, I didn’t have to worry about a baby or a stroller, as it was just the two of us. With Kaia, being on a golf buggy would definitely be a bit different. We had left the baby carrier to strap on me in the car back at the ferry station parking lot, so I knew I’d have to hold her tightly while on the golf buggy. In the beginning, she whined a bit being held down, but when she realized we were moving and going up and down bumps, she calmed down and started to enjoy the ride. All I have to say is: it’s a good thing she’s 1.5 years old and more sturdy now. I’m not totally sure how I would have felt if we had done a trip like this a year ago without the baby carrier to strap her into!

Today, we crossed the state border from Quintana Roo and entered Yucatan, the state of Mexico famous for the Yucatecan Mayan archeological site Chichen Itza. Once upon a time when Chichen Itza was fully open to the public, you could climb the very steep stairs up the main Temple of Kulkulcan. Unfortunately, we learned from our guide that since 2006, the temple steps have permanently closed, and no one is allowed to go up. A sad event led to this closure: an 80-year old woman climbed up the steep steps, only to fall all the way down during her descent. There’s definitely a sense of vertigo on steps that steep, and given how high it was, and the vibrations and echoes you hear in the complex…. her fall would have been quite brutal, not just for her, but for literally everyone else there who could hear the fall.

Initially, I was a little disappointed to hear that we couldn’t climb up. The first time I visited Mexico City, I went to visit the famous Teotihuacan Aztec site, and I remember climbing up the steep steps of the temples there. I had a lot of vertigo climbing down the steps and remember thinking how much more challenging it would be if I had to carry something (or someone!) down with me. But it was really enjoyable to have that experience of being at the top and envisioning what it would have been like to be a part of this ancient civilization from so long ago. Given we had Kaia with us, plus our stroller, I didn’t really care much about this after I thought about it. It just would have been a lot more nerve racking and scary in our case with a baby, or we’d just have to go up and down one at a time while the other stayed on the ground with her.

On our way there, Chris missed the sign that would have expedited our drive to Chichen Itza, so while we added some time to our trip there, we reduced the cost of the trip, as there are road tolls, and they are quite steep (and apply both to and from). On our way back, though, we miscalculated how much cash in pesos we had in my wallet. When we got to the toll booth, I was a little bit worried because when I counted the cash, we had approximately 20 pesos (just over $1 USD) less than what the toll sign said (the toll was 385 pesos; we had about 365). When Chris told the toll booth worker that this was all we had in cash, she told us to move the car to the side of the road; she was not going to let us through. I tried to ask if we could use credit card, but they didn’t accept them, nor did they accept U.S. dollars. After about five minutes of waiting, another worker came up to us to ask if we had U.S. dollars. We didn’t realize this at the time, but they weren’t going to accept them. They were going to ask if ANOTHER car had change for the U.S. dollars in pesos. We didn’t realize what was happening until another car gestured towards us, paid a toll, and sped away, and the worker explained that we could go through and didn’t have to give them any cash at all. So…. THAT RANDOM CAR was so kind and generous and ended up paying our entire toll (that’s about $21.94 USD), not just the tiny $1 amount we didn’t have! They must have taken pity on us because they saw our baby in the backseat. We didn’t even get a chance to thank them for their generosity and altruism given they had already driven off so quickly. All they gave us was a small smile, no words, before speeding off.

It’s easy to forget with all the horrible news, the Reddit rants, the parent group complaints about spouses, parents, in-laws, friends, and nannies, but friendly, generous, kind, selfless people are all over the world. These are people who do a lot for others, even complete strangers, and expect absolutely nothing in return… not even a thanks. It’s in moments like these when I am reminded of that, and it’s a reminder to me to also pay it forward to others.

Today was our first full day in Cancun. After a long day of delays and a rescheduled flight yesterday, it was nice to be able to finally be at the hotel and be out and about at our destination. In the afternoon, we went to Isla Blanca, a beach that’s a bit out of the main hotel zone of Cancun, so that we could experience a slightly more “locals” experience of the beach, as well as fewer people. But when we got there, we realized that the car was not going to make it on the fully sandy roads. So we ended up parking it and walking a bit to reach the actual beach.

While the beach did have a bit of the dreaded sargassum, the invasive seaweed that has been overtaking beaches in Caribbean and especially in Quintana Roo/around the Gulf of Mexico (thanks to human-created climate change – what joy!), the water was extremely clear and warm; it was shallow for quite a long ways out, and there were barely any waves. This made it easy to take Kaia out in the water without any fear, especially given she got so upset while at the beach in Byron Bay after that big wave went over us in December. After some time in the water, we sat together on the sand and built a sand castle. Okay, well, when I say we built a sand castle, what I really mean is… I tried to build one (complete with a moat! A proper castle needs a moat!), and she kept trying to topple it. We did our usual routine. And given I wanted us to be close to the waves for a water source for the moat, what was unknown to me at the time was that… each time a wave washed into our area, it also gradually swept more and more sand into swimsuit, and thus into my butt.

The car rental company warned Chris (given that we are in Cancun) to not get excessive sand in the car, so I got a little paranoid when I realized how much sand got stuck in my suit, plus literally in every possible crevice of Kaia. It was as though every single time I lifted her arm or moved a diaper flap or wiped another tiny roll in her neck that I was uncovering more and more sand. And each time I patted myself off of sand, more and more sand kept falling off me! Chris even tried to snap photos of my trying to take out these massive clumps of sand from my butt!

Anyway, we had to do quite a big clean out of sand not only directly from our bodies, but also from the seats in the car and the floor, which took quite a bit of time. It was in these moments that it suddenly hit me: now I completely understand why parents of young children travel to resorts and stay on the resorts. On resort properties, cleanup like this is easy, there are sprays and showers everywhere for you to easily hose off, and you never have to worry about things like getting too much sand in your rental car and potentially getting fined. This was annoying, but I still think it was worth going to a local beach and having that experience together.

We were told by many other parents that we shouldn’t be concerned that Kaia learned to walk at 16.5 months and not earlier. “You should enjoy it! You will be so tired chasing her while running around! Be happy that she can be contained for a bit longer!” Chris kept on calling her “defective” and asking her when she was going to walk, half joking. Honestly, while I was a little concerned and didn’t push back on the early intervention suggestion by the doctor at her 16-month checkup, I did know that once she became more mobile, I’d get more exhausted more quickly while traveling.

And that is definitely right. After having our first connecting flight from JFK to Miami delayed, which would have resulted in our connecting flight to Cancun being missed, I had to get in line to get our second flight rebooked. We spent some unplanned time at the AA lounge in Miami and ended up arriving in Cancun several hours after our original scheduled arrival time, so Wednesday was completely gone. We ended up eating at a sports bar restaurant at the resort before going to bed. But while at the lounge, Kaia kept wanting to wander everywhere, all the time. She was walking into people transiting in busy hallways, through people’s luggage. I had to keep running up to her and grabbing her to prevent someone from tripping over her or her knocking over someone else’s belongings. Luckily for the most part, people were quite amused and thought she was just the cutest. We got endless compliments about how cute and pretty she is, plus how sweet she is walking.

Of course, she looks precious and sweet when she’s wandering around like a tiny robot, unsure of what to do with her arms, so she usually has them sticking out in front of her. But then, when you try to hold her hand to walk the way you want her to walk, or you pick her up when she’s determined to keep going where she wants, she flips out and throws a toddler tantrum. And then, I have to to do *that mom thing* and hold her in football hold under one arm, otherwise she will squirm her way out of my grip and fall and hurt herself.

Parents always judge each other. They give endless crap and judgment to parents who use leashes, saying it’s inhumane, and babies aren’t dogs. But honestly, when I first heard of parents doing this and making these purchases on Amazon, I had little judgment. In fact, I thought it was kind of hilarious and quite safe, a solution to all of parents’ worst worries with their rambunctious little ones, discovering that they could “go” where they wanted whenever they wanted… if they wanted. What would you rather happen: a parent leash their unwieldy, stubborn child at the wrist, or the child running loose and getting hit by a bike or car?

The last few times we packed for trips, it was quite the doozy. There was packing for the three of us, but then there were also things like packing all of Kaia’s bottles, bottle cleaning supplies; her diaper bag; diapers and wipes; my pump and pump parts in its own bag; a separate bag just to store breast milk. It was alway a little stressful, especially when I’d wonder if I’d forgotten something. In the end, I never did, but in general, the more there is to pack, and the more bags you have, the more stressful it can be.

This time is the first time since Kaia was born that I don’t have to worry about packing bottles, pump or pump parts, or a separate bag to store breast milk; I’m FREE of all of that! So while Chris initially suggested we check a bag, he also suggested that I first pack everything to see how much stuff we actually needed, then to see if the checked luggage was even necessary. Miraculously, I somehow got everything to fit into one carry-on roller bag, plus my backpack. But I am still getting a little paranoid, wondering if there is something I may have totally overlooked…? This is what happens to your brain when you are so used to having so many items and at least one checked bag every time you travel on a plane with a baby.

In the last week, I finally started doing some deeper research on what we should see and eat while in Quintana Roo, Mexico. The last few months have dragged a bit, so I didn’t have a lot of motivation to plan and research where to eat and what to see. I totally get why so many parents of young children just go to all-inclusive resorts: it takes all the thinking and planning out of a vacation, which can also be a source of stress in itself. And when you have a young baby or toddler, they tend to take up a lot of your energy and free time. It can be all consuming.

But we’re not really resort people, though, so while we will enjoy the amenities of a resort, the lounges, or the breakfast buffets, we tend to get bored staying at one place all day long. I don’t remember a time when I’ve ever just sat by a pool or at the beach and read… Except when I was at Santa Barbara’s Ritz Carlton for President’s Club, and that was because I was by myself, and I had no motivation to leave the resort unless it was a pre-arranged trip.

I’m looking forward to exploring Yucatecan cuisine, in addition to the local cuisine of Quintana Roo. Most people don’t realize that Mexican cuisine is quite complex and diverse, and it’s not just tacos and quesadillas in this country… though those are very delicious things.